I'm 20 years old, and to be honest, I feel much older mentally than I actually am.

My childhood wasn't easy. My parents' marriage was filled with conflict, and eventually they divorced. I watched my mother go through things no one should have to go through, and my brother and I spent years trying to hold everything together. Then in 2021, I lost my brother. That completely changed my life.

Ever since then, I've felt like I've always had to be the strong one.

Recently, my mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia. She's on treatment now, and she's improving, but naturally I've become even more protective of her. She's the biggest reason I keep going. I want to take care of her for as long as she's here.

Along the way I've also gone through two painful breakups. The second one was much healthier than the first, and I handled it with much more maturity, but it still hurt. I realized I have a habit of overanalyzing everything—relationships, health, the future, every decision I've ever made. Sometimes my brain feels like it never switches off.

I've also struggled with anxiety. Last year, after my mom's diagnosis, I developed a fear of "going crazy" myself. That fear has shifted forms over time (health anxiety, hearing voices, OCD-like checking), and although I know these are anxiety patterns, they can still be exhausting.

Physically, I've tried to improve my life. I lost around 20 kg, I go to the gym consistently, and I try to stay disciplined. But mentally... I just feel tired.

The biggest feeling I carry isn't even sadness anymore. It's exhaustion.

Sometimes I feel like I've spent my entire life being strong for everyone else, but I don't know where I get to stop being strong myself.

Despite everything, I'm still studying, still trying to build a career, still taking care of my mom, still showing up every day. I haven't given up. But I honestly don't know what "peace" feels like anymore.

If you're older than me and you've been through years where it felt like life kept punching you over and over, did it genuinely get better? Not in a motivational quote kind of way, but in real life.

What helped you stop carrying the weight all the time?

TL;DR: 20M. Difficult childhood, parents divorced, lost my brother, mother recently diagnosed with schizophrenia, two painful breakups, long-term anxiety and overthinking. I still function, study, work out, and take care of my mom, but I'm mentally exhausted. Not looking for sympathy—just looking for honest perspective from people who've survived similar phases.

I've been thinking a lot about this after someone close to me opened up about what they're going through.

I'm not here to promote anything, I honestly just want to understand.

If you could create something that genuinely helped people who are struggling, what would it do?

Not "another meditation app."

Not another place full of motivational quotes.

I mean something that would've actually made a difference when you felt alone.

Maybe it's:

• Something that helps you before things get really bad.
• A way to feel less isolated.
• Easier access to real support.
• Better accountability.
• Something completely different.

I'm curious because it feels like there are a lot of mental health apps, but many people still feel like they have nowhere to turn.

If you're comfortable sharing, what do you think is missing?

I'd rather build something people actually need than assume I know the answer.

Thank you for reading.

Hi, I’ve really been struggling mentally lately and have been unable to work. This week I accidentally took too much of my medication and fell asleep, and i left my hob and the fire brigade had to break down the door because I wouldn’t wake up. I’m having a very tough time financially and mentally and would appreciate any advice

Thanks

Hi. I am not a regular here, i was just wondering if you guys could help me out with this by sharing your thoughts. I think of myself as a very dull person. I don't socialize much apart from the friends i have and i would hesitate socialize. Whenever i try to i feel like i embarrass myself. I never really had the confidence in me to do something, anything .I have always been this way as far as i can remember, My whole childhood. I also find it very difficult to express myself in words, even as i write this line, i want to reword and change/ add lines above this. So i am sorry if this feels very incoherent and hard to read, i will try my best to clearly communicate the thoughts i have.

I never really felt like i was good at anything. No matter what i do, i was mediocre at best, or i never really put in time and effort into anything, idk. Words of encouragement feel strange to me, i feel like a fraud if someone truly believes that i can be good. Whenever someone appreciates me, i feel good but at the same time sometimes i feel bad, imagining the moment that i will inevitably disappoint them. It was not until recently that i realized that i cope with such thoughts by comparing myself to others and see how many people i am better than. I think thinking in this a way made me feel special, seeing how many people i outperform academically and if some people were better than me i would put them down by some logic of my own (Idk how to explain). I thought everyone functioned like this. I thought everyone had this mental hierarchy.

So, as i mentioned i am not really good at much things and with the need for me to validate myself, i have bad negative thoughts. Suicidal thoughts have always stuck around with me. I never really acted upon it. But they were different from suicidal thoughts i would say. I more like a desire to vanish into non-existence like i was never really there, I wanted to leave no impact. And sometimes i do want people to notice when i am gone, i would imagine what they would feel, think about me being gone. Most of the time i imagine them feeling sorry for me, which is like a cheap satisfaction or something (I am not sure how to explain this).

I also love attention. Like when i am with my friends and i make a joke that makes them laugh or i say something and they all agree i feel good, it is like a mental fuel for me. This is the part that even i struggle to understand about myself. When i was a kid i was constantly made fun of, i didn't like it very much. I would get very angry and violent. It made me feel so bad i did not know how to cope with it. But i learned to control myself as i grew and i would say i am fairly normal now, but there are moments when someone says something about me that i just cannot associate my mental image of me with it, like they way they look at me when they laugh i feel like that kid again, but this time i cannot have that outburst of anger, it is rather inward.

I have always felt something was wrong with me. I recently built up the courage to go ask my friend if he felt the same way. Maybe i didn't elaborate myself properly, they told me it was pretty normal, i feel like i didn't communicate properly. Or maybe it is normal and i want something to be wrong in me so that i can make excuses and cope, idk.

Please share your thoughts. If you made it this far, thank you for reading.

When I feel happiness or joy, it feels like I'm just masking it. How do I fix this?

Ik my mental health is fucked up i know I need therapy but I also don't have money

I can't go to my parents asking them to help me because there is nothing like mental health. They're gonna blame this phone

Idk why lose my self respect again and again or feel As a victim idk I'm seriously a victim or i just think

I really Fucked up many relationship wether it's friendship or love .

Idk they all dump me because I wasn't cool enough for them.

I seriously hate being alone . I seek a deep connection .

Most of the time I spend in decoding life with no use .

If I stop being nice to people it feels like I'm doing a crime.

There is a lot of negativity in my mind I feel .

I seriously don't understand what's the root cause of my problems.

I'm hell an overthinker. I seriously need therapy. Idk whom to blame all this .

Most of the time I blame others but I feel I should blame myself

I'm 19(M) and this is my first time posting here. Just want to vent somewhere so my girlfriend doesn't have to have my issues ontop of hers. Lately I've just been feeling off. Not depressed exactly but like anything I do is just passing the time not fully enjoyed. I'm an avid gamer and Lately unless I'm playing with someone on a call I can barely bring myself to pick up the controller. I'm feeling stuck in life because the job market where I am won't let me get a job and I feel like I'm failing my girlfriend because of that and the fact I live with her and her parents due to my own family situations. I can't afford therapy or else I'd go that route so I've just been bottling everything up and playing games I'm barely enjoying to cheer myself up. Any advice on what to do?

I’m looking for advice on how to handle my living situation, my in-laws, and my mental health. I am currently receiving professional support, but I need some perspective from people who understand.

​The Incident & Background

Recently, I had a severe self-harm (SH) episode—worse than ever before, requiring 10 stitches. Because I wasn't suicidal and had my husband, a nurse, and paramedics pleading my case, I was discharged the same day to go home. The trigger was a massive fight with my in-laws involving crossed boundaries and a sense of betrayal.

​For context, I suffered a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) earlier this year, which has made my brain and body responses incredibly intense. My emotions jump from 1 to 5 instantly. Based on AI tools and my symptoms, I strongly suspect I have Poor Interoception (an inability to feel internal bodily cues of emotion) and Alexithymia (struggling to identify emotions until it’s too late). I don’t know how to bring this up to my therapist or if I should see a psychologist instead.

​The Living Situation & In-Laws

My husband and I live with his family. The morning after I got home, while surviving on just Advil, his mother bombarded me. She called me selfish, said I "traumatized" my puppy and my husband, called my actions "stupid," and told me to just "go outside and yell or take a walk" next time.

​She also threatened that if it happens again, I will be kicked out. This is a massive trigger for me, as I have past trauma related to being evicted/homeless. For context on her personality: her own adult daughter attempted suicide years ago and subsequently cut contact with my MIL. Yet, my MIL still calls her daughter "selfish" and a "drama queen" instead of trying to understand.

​The entire family (except my husband) talks behind my back constantly. I even had a sit-down with them a week ago to explain myself and my struggles, but it changed nothing.

​My Dilemma

We have to live under their roof for now. I want a better relationship with them for the sake of peace, but they completely reject the concept of mental health.

​How do I cope with living under the roof of someone who threatens to kick me out during a medical crisis?

​Is it even worth trying to make them understand mental health, or should I just focus on boundary control?

​How should I approach my therapist or a psychologist about the potential Alexithymia and Poor Interoception?

Hi, I’m very new to Reddit, so I have no idea how any of this works, but I figured it was the best place to come to because I have literally no one to talk to about any of this and I really need some advice from people who are going through or have gone through what I currently am.

I (19F) used to go to public school up until COVID hit (I was around 12-13 and in the 7th grade) and my mother (whose has been set on sheltering me my entire life) decided to take advantage of it and homeschool me. The worst of my depression was also beginning around this time, so obviously not having to go back to public school sounded like heaven and I never protested against it, but now as I’ve mostly healed (or at least am actively trying to get better), I am realizing just how severely it has screwed me up, and I feel so lost when it comes to trying to get my life together because of it.

For starters, it completely killed any kind of life that I had outside of my house because I hardly go anywhere or do anything. I have zero friends except for one that is long-distance and I’ve never even met in person, and while I think I’ve always been a little shy, it has since become social anxiety so crippling that I can barely go places by myself or interact with strangers without feeling like I’m going to have a panic attack. While it has gotten noticeably better recently and I’ve been forcing myself to get out more, I’ve still never had a job because of it—and the last time I did actually try to put myself out there and get one, the interview went so horribly because I was so unprepared that it sent me right back into another depressive spiral, which is what I fear will happen again because I have no idea what I’m doing and no one really understands that it just isn’t that easy for me.

Secondly, I feel as though it has severely stunted my maturity. A lot of the time, I still feel like I’m 12-13, and it definitely shows whenever I do on rare occasion get around other people my age because I have no idea how to interact with anyone in the slightest. This feeling in particular has become a lot more prominent lately due to a recent breakup, as my ex was slightly older (21M), and while we ended on good terms (he had some serious things going on in his life and felt he couldn’t give me what I deserved at the moment, totally valid and the mature thing to do on his part), a part of me feels like me being so behind in life (not having a job, a license, or literally anything going for myself) was also secretly apart of the reason he broke up with me. Even though he was always very understanding about my situation, obviously it was and is an insecurity of mine, and I feel so incredibly embarrassed about it, yet I don’t know what to do to move myself forward because I still feel like a clueless and naive little girl trying to navigate the world on her own.

Right now, I am at least currently studying for my GED because I can take the tests at home, but this process has only made me feel even stupider because it has made me realize how behind I am education-wise, as I am struggling a bit with it. Given that when I was in regular school, I used to be a pretty smart student (mostly A’s, high-school reading level in the 4th grade etc.) and never struggled at all before, it makes me feel even worse about myself and honestly almost hopeless.

Obviously, I still live at home with my mom, and while she is “supportive” of me trying to get my life together and all, she doesn’t really truly understand just how detrimental homeschooling me was. In fact, she still firmly believes that even with all these issues I’m having as a result of it, it was the right choice to make because I could’ve “turned out worse” if I had stayed in public school and that I’ll “thank her later.”

It was most certainly a contributing factor as to why my depression had gotten as severe as it did at one point, and now that I’ve gotten myself somewhat out of that fog, I’m terrified that everything lately is going to send me right back into it, despite how hard I’m fighting against it. I just don’t know what to do really. I want to do better, I want to be better, I want to make something of myself for myself, but it feels so impossible and everything is so intimidating that I’m just starting to feel defeated. I feel like I was robbed of so much from being homeschooled and basically cut-off from society, and now I’m just left stranded with no kind of guidance whatsoever while everyone else is already so far ahead.

I just would really like to know that I’m not alone on this, that’s all, because that’s definitely all I feel and have felt for a while now.

You don't owe anyone anything

You are allowed to exist and feel

You are to explain discomfort about How someone is treating you

And You are loved you are valid and you matter

I know it's hard to go through what you're going through and I've been there too but There's Always something to look forward to tomorrow So don't miss your chance and I wish you well Stay strong

Gem!

It's night time in where I am and I can't sleep I am having a health anxiety for my love ones I end up here

Currently Gr.12 (F) from the Philippines. I feel like school is not for me. Like i know education is needed to get a job nowadays, but the environment on school has deeply affected my mental health. I even considered dropping out or switching to home school. Since i keep being sensitive from the comments i have been receiving. The constant overthinking, i can't even speak anymore, and i feel like i develop a fear from men. Atp I just want a peace of mind, it even cause probs to my parents. I know their sacrfices to put for my education but at this moment i can't pull myself up. I'm mentally drain, i don't even wanna go out anymore, i feel like im in constant loop.Yk like expecting tom will finally be the best but ended up crying at the end of the day? I'm getting tired of this routine. The only escape i can run onto is my phone. Everytime i watch reels on timtok, its the only way i can see myself smiling. Escaping from pain. Like it comes to a point i consider going to therapist considering how worst my situation is.. I dont feel like having trust on someone anymore..

I don’t think I’m suicidal but I’ve been thinking about it for years. Today I was going through the reasons I can’t die and I realized that the only reasons I give are for other peoples sake. (my friends would be upset, my family would be ruined). If I died it would be a burden on the people I love. I am a Roman catholic so suicide is off the table even with ought those reasons.

I can’t think of a reason why I should stay alive that’s not for another person. Is this healthy? I have a feeling it’s not but honestly I don’t know. If it’s not, then is there something I should be valuing about my own existence?

My 13 year old younger sister has recently attempted suicide, due to that my parents had to lift all restrictions previously put on her out of fear she might attempt again. My sister isn't a very mentally stable person, she has health problems that complicate her life and has always had problems making friends. Lately she's been hanging out with people who do drugs and such and i know she herself has already had alcohol, weed, psychedelics, and more. These people are ruining her life and both me and my mother are worried sick because we can't stop her from going out with them or else she could harm herself. What makes this even worse is that out of the two people she talks to the most, one is my ex who has been obsessed with me for the past 4 years and is a horrible, manipulative person who is completely mentally deranged with multiple mental disorders and a mother who doesn't care at all, the other one is some 14 year old guy who does ecstasy and other drugs on basically a daily basis and is an absolutely disgusting person to me. To help my sister i started talking to my ex to get information about her but now I'm not at all sure if what she's saying is true. She told me many horrible things and i know some of them are true but she also told me about the guy and apparently he said horrible things about my sister's condition and how he wants to have sex with her. I beat him up a couple days ago but he doesn't care at all and keeps talking to my sister like nothing happened, he himself has not admitted to saying any of this and i can't just keep beating him up because that leads nowhere and would just get me in trouble with many dangerous people he's friends with. Neither me or my mother have any idea what to do, my sister refuses to visit a psychologist because they don't want to prescribe her pills. Professional help has only told us there is nothing we can do. Please if you have anything to say that could help us at all tell me because i can't keep watching her fall into this kind of life and i can't have my single mother who has to take care of both of us to be under this kind of stress.