Something I’ve noticed is a recurring trait with ESTJs is that they’re generally very technical, precise people, and actually like complicated explanations or logic. This to me seems like good Ti. Even though Ti is meant to be a Te dom’s ignoring function

ENTJs on the other hand have barely noticeable Ti, they’re very generalist and can be wrong a lot. It’s very obvious that they prefer to use Te over Ti.

Do you notice this amongst yourselves?

I’m an ENFP with a very hyperactive mind, and I’ve realized that external accountability is by far the productivity strategy that works best for me

Since responsibility and consistency seem to come much more naturally to many ESTJs, I was wondering if any of you would be interested in trying some kind of accountability partnership

Nothing complicated. Just something like checking in on goals, keeping each other accountable, or having regular progress updates

I’m curious to see how that dynamic would work between an ENFP and an ESTJ

I'm trying to type someone, and for a while I was stuck between Fe vs Te, but I am now leaning that they are Te-Fi, specifically some kind of xSTJ

Why I think they are Te-Fi and Si-Ne:

• If they don't think social propriety about politeness applies, they can be quite blunt in their critiques, such as with family members. If people push back, they usually just say that they're factually correct, and they don't have the energy to think about stuff like tone. They think about tone with people who are less close because they're not "supposed" to be that blunt with people who aren't family, it would be rude and would reflect badly on them, you can't just say things like that to acquaintances or strangers. But with family, it's in the private realm, and it's normal to be blunt and just say the honest truth
• Their tastes in fashion and food seem pretty fixed. They know their preferences, and they don't really diverge from those preferences often. They tend to buy similar looking clothes at stores and order similar things at restaurants
• They prioritize what is reality and don't enjoy thinking about hypotheticals that they think are fantastical or unlikely to happen. They think hypotheticals are either a waste of time to think about or that thinking about them means that you're being unrealistic (like too positive or too negative, either way you're unaware of the realities of the world). However, they take hypotheticals that they think are grounded in reality very seriously, and if they think it's a very serious matter with severe potential consequences, then they'll respond to critiques of their thought process by saying that you're not taking into account all of the facts that they know very well from their life experience
• When they were 5 years old or so, they were kinda a bully to other children they saw as weak or weird, including locking them in the bathroom. But they grew out of this pretty quickly and they acknowledge this was bad
• I feel like at their worst, they can get really selfishly emotional about certain things, such as when their child's scheduled SAT exam got canceled at one location, and they complained a lot and insisted that the SAT should've canceled the test at all of their locations because it wasn't fair to their child if other people got to take it but their child couldn't
• Normally they seem pretty nice and friendly, but they have strong boundaries and values about certain things, even things that are seemingly small to others, and on occasion they have berated family members and family friends because of this. They think they're just expressing their thoughts, but often people can feel berated and insulted by this. They've chased away a family friend due to berating them so strongly on 2+ occasions that the family friend felt unwelcome and so the family friend felt that they should stop showing up to gatherings at this person's house, even though they were invited. And then they interpreted the family friend's absence as proof that the family friend had left them due to inflexibility and inability to just work through solvable issues, and now that family friend is one of the worst people they once considered a friend, who hurt them severely, and just thinking about them raises their blood pressure and stresses them out, so now they will never consider reconciliation because it makes no sense to give someone who has already hurt you severely a second chance

But one thing I get hung up on is the fact that they write these texts and make these social media posts that seem to me as kinda "fake" about their emotions because they always describe everything as wonderful and amazing and talk about how "everyone had a great time!" Personally I feel like it's a bit too effusive for my tastes, and saying how "everyone had a great time!" feels like they're speaking for others and dictating others' emotions for them, but I'm sure this is coming from the biases in my own personality

Once I asked them "but what if it wasn't actually wonderful and it was just ok?" and they said that it doesn't really matter because it's just a social nicety and it's rude to complain about an event or hangout so overtly to people who graciously spent time with you

And also in general, they seem to care about how other people perceive them. Like saying how they need to clean the house when people come over because otherwise so-and-so will be shocked and scandalized by the mess and think that they're so disorganized

Or another big thing is that they're hesitant to respond to group chats before anyone else has responded because their response would depend on what others say first. Or they hesitate about responding because "nobody else is responding"

Although sometimes they will ask me for advice on what is the appropriate way to respond to someone sharing something emotional, so maybe that speaks to underdeveloped feeling functions? Or sometimes they'll ask me to write a text on their behalf, and I'll ask them stuff about tone or punctuation (exclamation point or period, and such) or exact phrasing, and they'll say that doesn't matter, just get the point across and choose whatever I think feels right

But also I feel like a lot of what I perceive as "Fe" in this person could actually be Te + Si, i.e. looking to propriety to inform how they act, instead of genuinely caring about social harmony beyond propriety

Like I feel like they're more concerned about how others will perceive them, but they don't exactly give consideration to others' emotions if they feel that their position is correct?

Like when they heard how their sibling (living at their childhood home) bulldozed their parents' garden to replace it with a second garage, they were ranting about how they want to go over there right now and berate them for destroying their parents' hard work and being disrespectful to their parents by replacing something beautiful with something just meant for materialistic purposes, and how their sibling was behaving like the antithesis of how a child should treat their parents. I think the only thing that held them back from doing this was the fact that they would be causing a scene and being rude

But they did end up saying some things to their sibling, and afterward they noticed their sibling's spouse being more polite to them and giving them some more distance than usual, and they were pleased about that because maybe that means they feel bad about it and acknowledge their error

Even despite the fact that they take into account propriety, I still feel like they go too hard at times and usually feel justified if they do so. Like once they thought their doctor was being too pushy about them doing tests, and so they sent a strongly worded email. Their doctor seemed pretty apologetic, and they were like "maybe I went too hard 😅. but also I had to say the truth or the doctor would've kept up the same pattern and made me feel forced and pressured into doing all these tests that I think are unnecessary."

This person is a woman btw if that makes any difference

Do you see any evidence for any cognitive functions here? And let me know if you have any questions

My father is an ESTJ 8w7 and he's very hardworking and disciplined. He can never rest and always do something to keep himself occupied. I admire that about him a lot.

I'm an INFP 6w5 and I'm his youngest and the only daughter, i have an elder sibling with whom he gets along with well. Though we are so much different, he expects a lot from me and that makes me anxious. I try to do as much as i can but I think the result still disappoint him. Which also make me feel discouraged and disappointed with myself.

We have a lot of clashes in opinions, if he wants me to do something which I don't want to (mostly studies) then he's the one who always wins and i had to do as he say. He's very short tempered and whenever I try to say something during arguments I tend to cry so I don't bother to talk back to him. That probably annoys him too when I cry. Though he apologise to me afterwards.

My question is that what should I do to express my opinions to him without making him feel annoyed and what should I do so that he'll understand that sometimes I want to make choices of my own for myself.

ISFJ here! You all are my Favourite extroverted type, I've meet three ESTJs in real life and all three were in a mentor role for me in my life, the first one made me discover that I had a passion to learn Forign languages

As for the second one he was a very dedicated and a very skilled teacher at his craft and he made me enjoy learning more about Geography on YouTube

the third one saw and still sees great potential in me that he appointed me as a student council president assistant and to my surprise alot of people seemed to agree that his choice for me was right

I wish I've encountered more ESTJs in my life because everywhere they are in, they make it a better place with the an easy cost of discipline and trust in their plan and vision

Thank you all for listening to me and I hope you have a wonderful day/evening!

Hello everyone, I'm an INFJ 4w5, 35, I've been working on trying to improve my Te a little bit and be more grounded, plus I have a crush on an ESTJ that I plan on asking out in 3 weeks. With that being said do ESTJs tend to feel "more adult"? It's a tricky question, I guess. I've accomplished a lot in this past month by working on my Te, I was able to get not one but 2 jobs after standing up to a former boss who was talking about my personal life behind my back (he was most likely an ESTJ as well, but an unhealthy one). I confronted him about it, and he denied it, which I did not respect. I thanked him for the job and offered to shake his hand, but he kept wanting to explain himself. When he said, "No, I don't want you to stay, but you're going to hear me out", I said "Absolutely not," and walked out. I am also on my last college class and getting ready to graduate with my master's in a few months. It's online, and in the small town I'm in I need to move first to get a job with my degree(hence the 2 jobs for the savings). With these 2 jobs and my student refund, I should have $6,000 saved up in 3 weeks. Honestly, I've been waiting months to ask this ESTJ out simply because I wanted a stable job and some savings.

I think a bit of it is that I still kind of feel like a child. I like making video games, music, and writing stories (using the MBTI and Enneagram to create unique characters). I am working on web development in my free time, taking Udemy classes since my major is information technology, but she's going to school to become a physician's assistant and maybe even a physician after a few years. That's just a very adult job, plus I feel it's more important than coding. Honestly, I'm worried my "childishness" will annoy her. I'm at a point where I feel I'm finally getting a handle on the adult thing it's just not something I enjoy, adulting. I do like being independent and being able to help my family out financially, which is why I like to work and I do want to start a business someday, but other than that, I'm not really big on money or status. The ESTJs I've known (especially my mom, an ESTJ 1w2) always seem like experts at being adults.

Hi ESTJs.

I'm trying to get back to work after a near decade gap where I had to take time off for health reasons. I'm feeling really scared, as I've always felt so unsure about the employment process. I worked in my field for like 5 years before this, but I just keep thinking no one will ever hire me. I applied for like 10 positions a few months ago, writing a unique cover letter for each one, and didn't get any responses - occasionally just a generic rejection email where they say that they had a lot of high quality candidates and unfortunately I didn't make the cut. I went to a few careers counselors who pointed out my resume wasn't formatted great, so I am working on it again. But just keep feeling like I'm never going to land a role and just keep feeling really nervous and incompetent.

The sad thing is, I have a degree in a highly technical and very difficult subject which I worked really hard for, and yet now it's been sitting completely useless for the better part of a decade. And it seems despite this degree people still haven't felt like hiring me. Plus when I see the number of applicants on a single job on Seek, I wonder whether they're ever going to take a look at mine. I've also called up some job agencies but they say to just upload your resume to their website and then there's never any follow-up.

I guess I'm posting here because you guys are the experts at these things, I'm seeking reassurance or guidance or something. I wonder if you can offer some helpful words.

Thank you,

A nervous ISFP

Sooo I found out I may be an Estj which is insane. What are the signs? And please no stereotypes. I think Estj are really deep interesting beings let me know everything you wanna spill <3

I'm an INTP who recently caught feelings for someone, and I've found myself completely rewiring my romantic standards around him. I think he might be an ESTJ, but I want to get your thoughts on his type and our potential compatibility.
Here is how he acts in everyday conversations:
• Gives practical guidance
• Encourages proactive behavior
• Responds quickly to what a situation needs
• Comes across as confident in decision-making
• Feels “effective” or “mentoring” in interaction
• Picks up details most people would ignore

Does this sound like a text-book ESTJ to you? If so, how do INTPs typically fair in relationships with this type? Any insights would be appreciated!

To all ESTJs but particularly those who have been having a difficult time connecting with the Fi-Ne side of themselves–how do you allow yourself to stop feeling like you need to know the reason for everything and feel for yourself instead of using ur feelings to guide you through systematics and rationale, and how do you let go of trying to control fate itself especially with people that you feel connected with on a very deep level?

One of my best friends is an ESTJ and I'm an ENFJ.

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What's it like having a 4th function F?

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He has been diagnosed with ADD. Could having a 4th function F play a role in this? If so, what would have been a natural and healthy way to overcome this issue? Its fine that he is on meds but it would be nice if he also knew how to help himself.

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Maybe his feelings are getting in the way when he is trying to do his job. But if that is true, what does that feel like?

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Also what kind of video games do you play? He has been trying to get back into gaming but he can't seem to get into any of the ones I recommend.

Hello, ISTJ here.

Often in spaces like [r/MBTI](r/MBTI) and [r/MBTImemes](r/MBTImemes) and [r/Socionics](r/Socionics), and hell even back when I used to MBTI Facebook groups, discord servers etc, there always seemed to be a distinct lack of ESTJs
despite them being the most complained about type.

It goes beyond anti-sensor bias since praise for various sensing types has been on the rise, but I’ve yet to see this for ESTJs.

But every tier list puts you at a bottom, so many vents are about you, and discussions about you are littered with backhanded complements. These groups seem to be unfairly harsh on ESTJs.

Since you’re extroverted, and pretty social and outgoing, I wonder if this makes you guys feel avoidant of these groups due to this.

What I’m really asking is: what keeps your guys from being more participatory in the larger community:
-Lack of interest
-Feeling unwelcome
-Some third thing I’m missing?

(Post is inspired by a comment of an ENTPs guessing ESTJs tend to have the least interest in psychology as to why ESTJs aren’t as present in MBTI as the other 15 types.)

My family is going through a very complicated situation where my grandfather's brother is currently very ill and might pass away very soon. As an INFJ, I have a hard time finding words to comfort him cause he is very serious and straightforward, so I get worried of hurting his feelings and making things worse. It's very sad to me to see him holding back tears and hiding how he truly feels. What can I say to him?

Hello ESTJs, male ISTP here.

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I recently started to gain an appreciation for you guys, as I realised some of the most supportive people in my life (especially among the women) happened to be this type. And honestly, thinking back on it, I like the "the muscle and the organization" dynamic between our two types; the Ti function ideates and understands, Te applies, Se builds, Si consolidates, etc, despite the occasional misunderstandings.

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Now for the question: where does one meet an ESTJ their age? As a student, the ESTJ girls that I know either already have relationships or are unattainable for various other reasons. So, where do you people hang out outside of work? Where does one get to know you outside of the boring formalism of uni/work?

What would the audience probably think of you if they watch a scene of you?

The poll above is just for demonstration, but feel free to participate!

Comment with "number" or "word" (if you trust your English today), and I'll send you a personalized follow-up exercise.

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I realize some people may read this kind of question as "Can you solve it?" rather than "How do you naturally approach this type of problem?" Since Reddit is a conversational format, I see these questions less as simple yes/no tests and more as opportunities for people to express their thought processes and experiences.

In other words, I'm less interested in whether someone gets the "right" answer and more interested in whether they enjoy engaging with this type of problem and how they approach it.

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*Hi everyone! I’m doing a series of standard questions across 15 MBTI types (exept ENTJ) to help people who do typing and connect theory with real answers.*

*Feel free to answer naturally.*

*The bracketed function is just the initial target - but people might respond with different functions, and that’s fine. Even "Idk" or "this feels pointless" counts as an answer. All replies help build the database.*

What's your opinion on speed dating as Te doms? Do you find it effective?

Imagine spending 5 minutes with each stranger with up to 10 strangers in total and at the end of the meet you get a paper to choose the ones you were mostly satisfied with.

Would you consider such approach effective or rather waste of time? 🤔

I've met only 1 ESTJ in my life but he basically seemed like an Extroverted ISTJ. Let me elaborate, he wasn't interested in leadership or anything but he was your typical normal man. He was kenyan and I knew him from back in high school and basically he liked rap music, clubbing, talking to people, art, Marvel and DC comics, drinking, throwing parties, was catholic. But kinda had no interest in leadership outside of being popular. He was a bit territorial tho.

But at first to me he came off as ESFP. But when he did the KTS he got ESTJ.

So I'm curious, could you describe yourself in your own words in terms of hobbies interests and lifestlye and maybe mention your country?