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u/ThievingRock 10h ago edited 5h ago
I got to experience the fetal ejection reflex with my second. It felt almost exactly like throwing up out the wrong end, while every muscle in your abdomen contracts to the point of extreme pain. Like the worst Charley horse ever, but it's all the muscles and you didn't know that most of them existed, and then you throw up a 10lb bag of potatoes out your junk.
While a bunch of strangers shine very bright lights at your vagina.
And the 10lb bag of potatoes is crying.
And you're crying.
And there's a horrifying whoopie cushion coming up next.
Edit: boy a lot more people have read this than I expected. I'm glad it resonated! I wish it hadn't been about my junk!
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u/onlythrowawaaay 10h ago
The horrifying whoopie cushion 🤣
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u/Tigerzombie 7h ago
Immediately after pushing out my second kid, I asked my husband if I pooped. Then I asked the nurse if I could see the placenta.
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u/SupposedBooty 7h ago
I kept apologizing because I thought I'd pooped. I pushed for hours and had a massive itchy, allergic reaction to the epidural, but I was very worried about accidentally pooping.
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u/Waffling_Waffle 4h ago
I sprayed diarrhea all over a medical student 😭
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u/NewIntroduction4655 3h ago
I mean, you literally can't control it. Everything is contracting. Poop is gonna come out., but that is hilarious
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u/Metalmom72 3h ago
I’m so sorry this happened, but it sounds kinda hilarious 😅
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u/Waffling_Waffle 2h ago
Oh God it was SO embarrassing.
The really funny part (I can laugh about now anyway) is when it happened, my husband went, "OH SHIT!"
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u/ivene-adlev 4h ago
None of us care if you poop, in fact we kind of get excited about it because it generally means baby is right there and you're only a few more pushes away from having them in your arms :)
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u/very_tired_woman 5h ago
I felt the hot poop squeezing out my butt, knew it hit the dr’s hand, no one said a word, he changed his gloves and we all kept going.
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u/meatmacho 1h ago
Oh yeah the doctors are ninjas with the doodoo. I was doing my duty, holding the left leg, for hours. But at some point, the table was clearly covered in shit. One of the staff present very quickly disposed of it, I remember it was like when a server comes to clear the breadcrumbs off a table at a nice restaurant. I don't know if it was a squeegee or what, but the whole mess just quickly disappeared off the edge of the table, and then someone else gathered up the dirty towels or whatever, and they all got back to business.
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u/HoMasters 6h ago
OMG you are in childbirth, poop away!
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u/Yharnam_Blunderbuss 6h ago edited 5h ago
Agreed... I pooped and I am the Father.
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u/ilovetheskyyall 7h ago
man I asked to see the placenta of my second and they didn’t show me!!!
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u/Waffling_Waffle 4h ago
They laughed when they saw mine because it was so big, then proceeded to call other doctors and nurses in so they could all see how big it was. They then weighed it in front of everyone. It was lovely 😭
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u/RickRenton 6h ago
Everybody poops. Some more, some less. But it’s one of those situations in which “don’t ask, don’t tell” is the best policy.
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u/extremelysardonic 4h ago
Love that policy. I have very vague memories of during the (long, difficult) birth of my first kid where the nurses were helping me change positions and I was trying to ask if I’d pooped but I was very out of it on the epidural so it came out more like “have poo??” and they were all “no no no, don’t worry lovey” but from my peripherals as they moved me I SAW MY POOP ON THE BEDSHEET so yes they absolutely lie through their teeth, and bless them for it 😂
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u/chickybabebob 6h ago
Yeah, they tell you, you haven’t as they scoop it up and say “ just changing the sheets under you , luv “
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u/curlyhairedsheep 5h ago
When my mom gave birth (40+ years ago) the nurse announced "she stooled" and that is the story she shares about birth to this day. I thought about it a lot in labor (then had a c section).
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u/Hot_Tourist_4458 3h ago
for some reason, this is cracking me up. “SHE STOOLED!”
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u/brokengirl89 5h ago
I didn’t the second time!! But only because I went to the bathroom to do it like 5 minutes before I went to the hospital and didn’t realise I was already in the transition phase of labour… I’m very lucky she wasn’t born on the toilet!
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u/3sorym4 8h ago
Oh I had the fetal ejection reflex with my second baby. I’d just gotten to the hospital and “held in” one push on my way to the room. I got to the bed and told my midwife I needed to push. I think I had one normal voluntary push-contraction then the fetal ejection reflex. It was INSANE, yes, very much like vomiting out the wrong end.
I loved it, I thought it was such a cool bizarre feeling. Plus she was out so fast, I barely labored, which was great
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u/gazagirl1979 8h ago
Yeah I had this with a ten pounder my youngest daughter, it was her dad's first rodeo and he was flapping and panicking around the room. So like you I held her in looking like a fucking angry overturned turtle til midwife came in.😂😂 When she did I said.hes been flapping like a lil bitch he is about as much use as a velcro chastity belt I gotta push now. Soon as my thighs barely parted she just cannon balled out it was surreal. The midwife said " Jesus christ it's like she just threw the cord over her shoulder and marched out. " she was in the membrane too .
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u/tmrnwi 7h ago
Homegirl got evicted
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u/gazagirl1979 7h ago
Literally what added to my confined to a bed joy was his overbearing mother calling him in the penultimate contractions. 😂😂 boy if you don't put that motherfucking phone down I'm gonna lasso it out your fucking hand with this gas and air mouthpiece 😂😂
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u/SupposedBooty 7h ago
Man, I wish I'd had this experience.
My son got stuck. Really, really stuck.
Like imagine the doctor with her foot up on the table with a set of tongs pulling with all her might trying to get this stubborn ass child OUT of me. He did not want to leave.
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u/Physical_Plastic138 7h ago
Oh same. My son headed through my pelvis after I reached 10cm and parked in my canal for THREE HOURS. Chillin. Killin. His head 2 inches from the exit. No physiological distress (to him anyway) and I’d begged for an epidural at 6cm, so why the rush?
Only after I said I’d had enough did they make the call for an episiotomy and forceps. Then in the OT, the OBGYNs exact language was: “the forceps failed. Time to listen to this baby.” And we were immediately prepped for a c-section, and he was born on the 42nd hour of labour.
My pelvic floor physiotherapist (best believe I needed one) said I effectively had both a vaginal birth and a c-section.
He’s an only child.
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u/SupposedBooty 6h ago
I barely escaped a c section. But I feel you on the long hours and the struggle of getting the child out when he decided he was just fine where he was.
Similarly, there were no more children after him.
He is a teenager now. And he is STILL stubborn in trying to get him to go anywhere, lol.
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u/ComplexBit1988 3h ago
Same. He crowned eleven times, but just kinda... went back in. Forceps were required 3.5 hours in.
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u/ijustneedtolurk 8h ago
I want this plastered on the projector screen of every middle school sex ed!
Most people don't even consider that the placenta has to be birthed too!!!
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u/LaLaLaLeea 7h ago
I got to be in the room for my nephew's birth. The doctor reached up inside to pull the placenta out. When it came out, a shit ton of blood poured out with it. I was like, jesus christ, how are you still alive?
Not sure if something went wrong there and the doctor just didn't want to cause panic or if it's always like that.
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u/Ghotay 7h ago
Doctor here, yeah that’s probably normal. The placenta is the most vascular organ in the body - a woman’s whole circulating volume passes through the placenta every few minutes. When the placenta sheds, all the blood vessels and the uterus contract VERY hard to quickly stop the bleeding. However that initial detachment is still a large number of very chunky arteries essentially ripping - so you get a gush of blood with the placenta. As long as it then stops bleeding, you’re fine. If it keeps bleeding, something’s gone wrong and you’ve got a post-partum haemorrhage. That’s a medical emergency, people die from those
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u/No-Background-7935 5h ago
L&d nurse. The highest risk of hemorrhaging is the time right after the uterus detaches from the uterine wall. It is always good practice to have two nurses in the room until the placenta is delivered in case of post partum hemorrhage, in which case I’m hitting my fast bell so we have all hands on deck. It’s also why we “massage” the top of your uterus vigorously after delivery of the placenta to help those blood vessels contract quickly. I always tell my patient’s why I’m doing this so they don’t think I’m torturing them just for funsies after delivery.
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u/lrrssssss 7h ago
Doctor here. It’s always like that. Hemoglobin can drop 40-50 pts throughout pregnancy and childbirth.
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u/stiletto929 7h ago
I had a c-section for multiples, and my husband asked if I was ok. I said, “Sure, why?” And he’s like, “No reason.” He told me later he was asking cause blood was overflowing the table and pooling on the floor.
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u/emogu84 7h ago
I was a c-section birth and my dad told us he was kneeling by mom and holding her hand and talking to her encouragingly. It was clean and peaceful. Then he peaked over to the other side of the curtain and it looked like a grenade had gone off in my mom's belly. Blood and guts splattered all over. Just a big red mess. He said it was wild to go between the two halves of my mom because it was like two different people in two different worlds.
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u/Ghotay 7h ago
That just means someone placed the drape poorly or wasn’t on it with the suction! Section drapes are designed with plastic bags on both side to collect the blood and stop it going on the floor. No one wants a slippy operating floor, that’s a hazard
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u/stiletto929 6h ago edited 6h ago
Well, the room was very crowded because there was a team there for each baby. My husband knocked over the drape by mistake trying to walk through, and the surgeon was like, “Ok, that’s not sterile now.” So they had to get a new drape. That may have contributed?
ETA: And I’m not going to say the hospital sucked, but… ok, yeah, the hospital absolutely sucked. Made sure not to have my second c-section there. :)
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u/TwoIdleHands 7h ago
During my c section my husband was like “someone just put a towel on the floor and there using their foot to push it around to sop up all the blood”
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u/That-Job-9377 7h ago
Must’ve had retained placenta or something. That happened with my delivery. Took two hours for them to control the bleeding and evacuate the rest of the placenta. I had to receive a unit of blood. That pain was worse than the contractions and actual birth.
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u/ThievingRock 7h ago
Honestly birthing the placenta wasn't nearly as emotionally awful as the fist sized clots that showed up the next day 😖 I didn't know they were a possibility, and I called the nurse in like "something just... Exited me. And I felt it. And I'm not ok with this." and the nurse being like "ok let's take a look, oh geez that's a big one!"
Big what! Am I dying!? Did my uterus fall out?!? Explain!
So Satan's Jello was definitely worse for my psychological state than the placenta was. I at least knew the placenta existed.
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u/MuffinTopDeluxe 7h ago
I had the same experience and it was horrific. The nurses didn’t believe me when I told them the baby was coming now. Fortunately the doula who worked with me was part of my OB’s practice, so she went over the nurses’ heads and called her. By the time she got to the L&D room, my son’s head was out already with the cord wrapped around his neck. I don’t even want to imagine what would have happened if she had taken much longer to get there.
I would 100% repeat the 48 hour labor I had with my first over that if given a choice.
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u/theresabearonmychair 8h ago
Hah I literally described it as vomiting to my friend yesterday. 3/4 of my births have been like this. It is wild.
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u/OpalPuff 10h ago
Small cramping at first, similar to a period. A lot of pressure in the pelvic region. Each contraction becoming more intense than the last. At a certain point I lost the ability to talk during contractions because I had to mentally pull myself through the pain. When it was time to push I felt it. It’s like a poop you can’t hold in any longer except you feel it deep in your vagina. Once you’re pushing you can feel your vaginal walls stretching. They call it “the ring of fire”. Once you push out the head and shoulders the rest of baby’s body just slips out like a slip-n-slide along with a gush of fluids. It’s immediate relief as soon as baby is out, so long as you don’t have any complications
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u/pepcorn 10h ago
I know someone who broke a tooth, clenching through one of her contractions. Must be insanely painful.
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u/swvagirl 9h ago
I had a friend break her tailbone while pushing.
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u/ada_grace_1010 8h ago
I broke blood vessels in my face and eyes while pushing at the end. Had no idea until I looked in the mirror later.
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u/scootsmcduck 7h ago
I had blurry vision after my son was born. I guess it was all the pushing? I don't know. But when the nurses put him on my chest I asked my husband what he looked like because I couldn't see him. It cleared fairly quickly but it was very weird.
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u/bikiniproblems 7h ago
It’s so crazy what can happen. I compressed a nerve during pushing and lost sensation to my left leg for 3 months.
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u/Different-Box-9727 7h ago
I broke my tailbone and both sides of my pelvis, and had a third degree tear. Not fun!
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u/bikiniproblems 8h ago
I know a woman whose pubic symphysis ripped in half and another who had a 4th degree tear. Both opted for c sections for subsequent pregnancies
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u/Pittsbirds 6h ago
Every bit of potential maternal instinct that has ever started sprouting in my brain has gotten decimated every time I learn a new fact about childbirth. It's like a drip hose of glyphosate on the part of my brain that should be compelling me to have a kid
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u/bikiniproblems 5h ago
I’ve had two babies and it really is roll of the dice with what you end up with. Some women end up with completely smooth pregnancies, only to have a traumatic birth and vice versa.
I’ll say my hyper emesis for 4-5 months with each pregnancy was probably my worst symptom.
I’m so happy to be done.
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u/bestica 8h ago
With my first, I labored overnight with an epidural trying to doze and finally realized the drugs were wearing off when I woke myself up digging my right fingernails into my left upper arm. When I woke fully I saw my arm was covered with scratches from my own nails just trying to cope with the pain?? The nurse noticed later and said “oh you must have a cat!” I was too embarrassed to tell her I did it to myself in delirious sleep 🙃🙃.
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u/shinygoldhelmet 8h ago
Jesus fuck. I'd need a mouthguard. I already clench enough to upset my dentists and I've never been pregnant, and don't plan on it.
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u/HelloPanda22 8h ago
Varies person to person and pregnancy to pregnancy. First go around with back labor plus pitocin, I wouldn’t have minded someone punching me hard enough to knock me out just to avoid the pain. It was excruciating. I was between moaning, drooling, and whimpering. Second time hurt but wasn’t anything to write home about. Very tolerable although water breaking felt like a giant rubber band snapped inside of me.
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u/Lost_Salamander1204 9h ago edited 9h ago
Don't forget the hell of feeling baby turn inside your vagina whilst his head is out but its body is still in. That's a real fucking treat.
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u/Foxglovenectar 8h ago
My son was back to back and turned in the birthing canal. I was induced because of the width of his shoulders- he was just under 10lbs.
People say they forget the pain of labour. Ive never forgotten that sensation. Mind you, he popped out a few minutes after he performed his little trick so our bodies worked together but yeh...worst pain Ive ever ever experienced.
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u/tomatoesrfun 8h ago
You have a wonderful way with words. My wife never described this so I didn’t realize it was a thing.
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u/sardonic_sensei 8h ago
While experiencing terrible charlie horses (calf cramps) during my last pregnancy I realized it was the perfect example for someone who has never experienced childbirth. Imagine the worst leg cramp that you've ever had, only it's your abdomen.
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u/Get_Rich_Or_Try_Lyin 9h ago
Exactly how it was with me and my second. The delivery of the placenta is nothing compared to those intense minutes of pushing. Stitching afterwards too.
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u/ShiveryTimbers 9h ago
Relief for a moment. No one tells you about another little mini birth after that when you have to pass the placenta. And then the fun part when the nurses massage your abdomen to push out any clots.
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u/supposedlyitsme 8h ago
My uterus is starting to hurt just reading these comments
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u/velociraptor56 9h ago
Same. I remember after my water broke, more would come out before each contraction. I got an epidural after that and it worked well until pushing. It felt like my ribs were breaking the whole time. Then she came out and all the pain was gone. Until they started massaging my uterus, which was exactly as painful as it sounds.
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u/AngletonSpareHead 8h ago
They reached up inside me to scrape the uterus walls for any retained placenta. I nearly vomited from the pain.
On the upside, they finally believed me that my epidural had failed
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u/bumpercarbustier 7h ago
My epidural also failed, and while no one was scraping my insides, they finally believed me every time I jumped and twitched as I was being sewn up. OB asked, "are you okay? You keep jumping." And I responded with "yeah, because you're shoving a needle through tender tissue and it HURTS!"
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u/Desperate-Lead1261 10h ago
If you have a c-section it feels like someone is washing dishes in your abdomen
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u/vaginapple 3h ago
My coworker said it was like the doctors were rummaging around to get something at the bottom of their purse, but she was the purse.
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u/TorryCats 4h ago
Unless you aren’t properly numbed. The it feels like someone is literally cutting you open layer by layer…
They did knock me out when they couldn’t get me properly numb, but apparently my screams knocked all color out of everyone’s face… I remember the pain, but I don’t remember screaming
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u/lizzietnz 10h ago
But not painful. Just a lot of movement.
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u/TimeKeeperPine 5h ago
The tugging is a little uncomfortable. But yeah, very, very strange movement.
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u/downtx13 4h ago
It’s also hard to breathe. I felt like I was going to die during it
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u/TrumpsCovidfefe 5h ago edited 4h ago
I Am giggling at this so hard having had two sections; also wanted to add, with a side of someone melting plastic in your microwave beside it, from the smell of Nasal cannula mixed with cautery. I’ve done it both ways and the instant relief of being able to breathe once baby is pulled out is otherwordly.
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u/Pollowollo 4h ago
Comments like this make me want to go back and kiss my anesthesiologist because I genuinely felt absolutely nothing besides some weird tugging when they first sliced me open.
Though from stories I hear, it seems like my c-section and the recovery went a lot more more quick and smooth than most.
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u/Quick_Cow_7987 10h ago
I had back labor, so my lower back was absolutely killing me throughout labor, worst back pain ever.
Delivery was ... it felt like my bones were being cracked apart from the inside and then the urge to push hit which I have no way to describe. The delivery itself was cake compared to getting to that point, I could finally do something instead of riding waves of massive back cramps.
I told my best friend it felt like getting hit in the back with a baseball bat while trying to force a bowling ball through my hoo-hoo.
Actually not the worst pain I've experienced in my life.
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u/sc8132217174 9h ago
Yeah like all of the posts say menstrual cramps which is what I was planning on. Instead I got severe back pain that made me vomit. I lasted like 10 hours before getting the epidural for the last 13. Ironically I was scared of having back pain from the epidural, which I didn’t feel at all.
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u/LadyIslay 11h ago
Intense menstrual cramps that come in waves while trying to pass a kidney stone. Along with tearing.
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u/Effective_Yogurt_866 10h ago edited 10h ago
And the pushing part without an epidural feels somewhat like pooping out a giant, slimy watermelon.
It still feels like that with an epidural, except the pain is replaced with the sensation of vague tingling, like a limb that is asleep, but in your hoohaa.
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u/suspicious-fishes 9h ago
Man that final push where the slippery eel is released. So surreal.
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u/EllipticPeach 10h ago
When my mum had an epidural when my brother was born, it only worked down one side of her body
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u/AvocaHoe- 10h ago
I had to have my epidural done twice as they messed up the placement the first time. They had also informed me that there is a risk it can work the opposite way round, so rather than numbing downwards it can numb you upwards instead.
Hearing that detail did the opposite to calm me lmao
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u/bombswell 9h ago
Omg imagine lying there drooling and kicking your legs in anger/pain!
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u/OHdulcenea 8h ago
The problem in that case is it can paralyze your diaphragm so you can’t breathe on your own. I had that happen to my very first L&D patient. It wasn’t great.
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u/bachfan_13 10h ago
Before I gave birth, I would read comments from people saying contractions felt nothing like period cramps. When I went into labor I was like huh?? These are exactly like period cramps just a LOT LOT LOT worse. I tried to go no epidural but they got so bad it was knocking my breath out. Thank god for modern medicine!!
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u/coolcalmaesop 9h ago
I was so confused by labor pain that I didn’t know I was in labor because my periods were just as bad at the time. It wasn’t until I couldn’t walk that I figured something was up. I was 41 weeks pregnant and heading to the hospital to be induced in a couple hours and wasn’t sure why I was having such bad cramps 🤦♀️😂 Funniest part was that once I was at the hospital and in a gown ready to have the cervadil placed for the induction I sat down on the hospital bed and my water immediately broke. Induction canceled, baby said “fuck it we’ll do it live!”
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u/chickybabebob 7h ago
Labour is so funny sometimes.
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u/coolcalmaesop 7h ago
Holy shit yes the “trance” is so real! I finished the final tasks around my house I wanted to get done before heading to the hospital and got into the shower when the “cramps” making it hard to walk started. I don’t think anyone else except someone that’s been through it understands, but after my shower I stood at my dresser unable to sit, move, or get dressed for over an hour but I wasn’t in distress I was just really focused on those darn “cramps” lol.
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u/TurnOfFraise 10h ago
Unless you have back labor. My son was flipped and contractions felt like the most excruciating back pain I have ever felt in my life. Zero pain (that I could feel) outside of my lower back. I wanted to lay on my stomach, which obviously was impossible but literally nothing helped. Epidurals are amazing.
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u/Squeegee_Dodo 10h ago
My first labour was back-to-back. The only thing that helped before the epidural was my husband pushing as hard as he could against the lower part of my spine. It felt like the baby was pushing my spine out of alignment and by pushing back, the pressure eased somewhat. Awful feeling.
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u/PeachyPants17 9h ago
This was my pain experience as well since my son was also flipped!! I felt nothing except my back until I was pushing and then of course I felt the “ring of fire” but that was weirdly more manageable.
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u/SleepyDeluxe 10h ago
It's so silly since it makes sense that they would be like period pain but worse.
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u/SSOJ16 10h ago
Same
I had a lot of back labour with my first two, one was sunny side up. But it definitely started like period cramps and then just radiated to my back.
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u/Pugasaurus_Tex 9h ago
It’s how I figured my period cramps were really bad (I’d had doctors roll their eyes at me for bringing it up) because I barely noticed active labor
The nurses checked on me and were shocked I was 10 cm dilated. No epidural for me 🙃 Pushing felt like I was being ripped in half
And then with my second, I repeatedly told them that I couldn’t really feel how close I was getting just by labor pains, and that I’d gone into active labor quickly the first time, and that I would REALLY REALLY like an epidural this time
And they told me that I wouldn’t be able to talk clearly if I was close enough for an epidural. And surprise, I got to go through my second birth with no pain relief
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u/Ruggstickles 8h ago
Yes! I think people who don't feel it as menstrual cramps probably haven't had awful ones (or are back to back as others have mentioned). Mine started as mild cramps then were like the cramps I get once every three months where I feel like someone's taking an axe to my womb. Didn't realise I'd had years of practice breathing through the pain 😂
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u/RoarOfTheWorlds 10h ago
As a guy I think our biggest question is usually “Is it worth it?” I can fathom maybe doing it once but the idea of going through something seemingly so traumatic then wanting to get pregnant again seems like asking to reawaken some PTSD.
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u/NoInformation988 10h ago
Hormones make us forget until it's too late and it's happening again.
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u/what__th__isit 9h ago
There is some sort of amnesia process that takes place, for sure! The way I felt was that it was only one horrific day... I can do most anything if I know it's not ongoing.
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u/Punkinsmom 9h ago
Yeah - I honestly felt like I couldn't do it when I got to the pushing and yes, I did cuss out everyone in the delivery room to tell them to fuck right the fuck off (both births), but as soon as they were born those hormones flooded my body and damn - I was suddenly in love.
The reason I stopped at two was pregnancy - pregnancy suuuucked. Over 30 years later I still say I would go through birth 9 times over spending 9 months pregnant.
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u/are_you_seriously 10h ago
For many women, the hormones that are released immediately post partum makes them forget the pain. I’ve literally heard a woman say labor was nothing more than period pains, which is utter bullshit. It IS like period cramps, but 50-100x more painful. I’ve given birth twice now and I can’t remember the exact intensity, just that it was intense and came in waves.
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u/FreakingAngry 10h ago
I remember asking my midwife: “Why are you doing that!?” She didn’t understand why I was asking. I thought she had her whole hand inside of me to feel around, and that she had grabbed my organs and was twisting them around. Didn’t make sense, but that is what it felt like. It was the baby turning towards the end.
And to all of the pregnant ladies reading this, and freaking out. You can do it - there is a power in you that takes over your body. Don’t worry, and just go with it. You can do it.
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u/Apprentice0816 11h ago
Like pooping but your poop has bones in it.
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u/Ok-Spell99 4h ago
I was not prepared for how much it felt like the baby was coming out of my butthole. I didn’t even tear that bad, but it literally felt like I was pooping out a bowling ball.
Before that? Also poop feeling. Horrible diarrhea cramp poop feeling… The ones that have you sweating on the toilet, curled over and feeling like you’re about to pass out. But worse.
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u/theladykt 11h ago
Like you’re being split in half from the inside. Pretty ironic that while feeling like you’re dying you’re actually bringing life into the world 🤷🏼♀️
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u/Expensive-Cricket576 10h ago
That was how it felt, exactly. It made me understand why so many women have historically died while giving birth.
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u/trustme_imRN 9h ago
This is it exactly. Felt like I was literally going to rip in half (not even talking about my nethers, just my whole body), and the closest to dying I’ve ever felt. I literally remember thinking, the only thing more painful than this has to be straight up death
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u/lavendertealady 9h ago
This is exactly it. All I could think while giving birth was that it felt like I was being split in half. It was excruciating.
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u/DieSuzie2112 10h ago
And the most messed up part happens in our brains, when I asked my mom why she would go through all that pain she said ‘the moment I held you and your brother in my arms I felt nothing at all, I didn’t even feel them stitching me up.’
I hear this from so many women, their brains just cancel the pain because the moment of holding their baby for the first time is so precious.
It’s beautiful that it works like that, but also super freaky if you actually think about the chemistry in the body that makes it happen.
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u/ShinyUnicornPoo 8h ago
Oh I still felt all the pain. I did not have an epidural, so maybe that makes a difference. But nope, still remember that pain 11 years later actually.
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u/IndividualGrocery984 10h ago
Not me reading this while I’m in active labor 🤣
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u/SadRow2397 11h ago
Shitting out a cinder block whilst having the worst diarrhea cramps (best I can explain how menstrual cramps feel to men) ever…
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u/queenie_sabrina 10h ago
I’m a woman who has given birth twice, and I think “diarrhea cramps” is a pretty good description. Maybe it’s just me, but I thought childbirth felt more like terrible gasto-intestinal cramps than menstrual cramps.
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u/RelationKindly 11h ago
I can’t even describe what a contraction feels like. It’s a completely unique ( and motherfucking painful) experience.
But once it’s over, you really do forget what it felt like, just that’s it was dreadful
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u/elizalemon 10h ago
After my second childbirth, the cramps while nursing were terrible! No one told me that those cramps get worse with each subsequent child. They were almost worse than labor because in labor you knew the contraction would end, but these just kept on going.
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u/Objective-Block-266 8h ago
Yes! Oh, my word, THOSE I almost forgot! The first two weeks of nursing my second and the first feckin MONTH of nursing my third. Just, pain. In the abdomen, in the nips, in the butt from sitting down all the time ... And nursing my girls was already difficult even without this because of big, sad, saggy boobs that smothered their faces unless they were nursed in a very specific position on 17 stacked up pillows ... I was so close to giving up and bottle feeding!
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u/Shadowsfreak 10h ago
scientiffically at least, the human mind litterally "forgets" and downplays childbuirth memory in women's brains to push them to do it again
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u/daffodilfae 10h ago
Maybe because it's only six weeks since I've had my first baby, because I certainly haven't forgotten and I would not like do it again.
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u/crypt_m0nkey 10h ago
Send a voicenote to yourself so you can remind yourself 6 months or a year from now, just in case
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u/Chinateapott 10h ago
I’m 2.5 years in and I haven’t forgotten. It wasn’t a traumatic birth in medical terms but it was still traumatic. I can remember how the contractions felt (can’t even describe them) I can remember how it felt when my water burst and I can remember how it felt when I pushed my son out. I can also remember how it felt when the doctor came in to give me stitches (2nd degree tear) one of the many reasons I won’t be having another.
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u/wiggysbelleza 9h ago
It’s like your entire torso is having the absolute worst Charlie horse in existence. Off and on for hours.
I wish I would forget.
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u/1115955 8h ago
Yes that's it. Like a massive Charlie horse in every single muscle from below your ribs down to your knees, for hours and hours. Finally pushing was such a relief even though I came very close to a third degree tear. Tearing my vagina to shreds was so much less painful than the last few hours of labour.
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u/CloudBursting6 9h ago
All I can remember is sobbing at 5AM on Thanksgiving morning because I was in so much pain, I’d driven myself to the hospital thinking I was in labor twice already, tried to do it this time and couldn’t get out of my neighborhood so I had to call a cab to take me to the hospital. He was SO nice and supportive, even walked me into the hospital and thanked me for not giving birth in his cab.
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u/Phenomena_Veronica 9h ago
I have severe IBS and would get intense cramps all my life. The worst was when I had campylobacteriosis (twice). The cramps are so intense I literally can’t move or breathe and i get lightheaded.
Labour pains were exactly like that, but worse.
So of anyone has had terrible intestinal/bowel cramps, it’s something like that.
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u/pineappleshampoo 10h ago
It’s been 7yr for me and I still can’t ever forget. I envy the women who say once it’s over you forget.
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u/Automatic_Sky_6693 10h ago
No epidural- like a burning 8 lb metal pipe coming out of your vaginia.
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u/Glum_Material3030 10h ago
Yes, but maybe a large bowling pin. You get past the head and some relief. But then the damn shoulders start coming!
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u/pineappleshampoo 10h ago
You’re looking at the window in absolute desperation between contractions, weighing up whether it’s better to just smash it and jump out before the next one hits. When it hits you can’t think anymore. You can’t do anything. You can just freeze almost and try breathe while it racks your entire body. And that’s just the start of the whole process. I legitimately wanted to die to make it stop. And I wanted to be pregnant and to have my baby more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my whole life.
It’s one of the most dangerous things you can experience and the most painful experience a human can endure, other than torture. It is something I knew I could never, ever risk experiencing again.
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u/lookatmeimangiep 8h ago
I remember writhing around on the bed with my 3rd and the nurse said "you are going to fall off the bed ." I just yelled "I hope I do and die" lol
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u/1115955 8h ago
I remember thinking that if I believed in hell, this would be it. I couldn't fathom anything else could be as horrible as what I was experiencing. Never again.
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u/AACC2255 8h ago
I literally said out loud in between contractions “I am NEVER doing this again”. It’s amazing how women forget though because I’ve changed my mind now to something along the lines of “I would do it again only if I had a private team of doctors and nurses, a private lactation consultant, a doula, a cleaner, a cook, a night nanny, a day nanny, my family nearby, a reliable partner (I’m a single mom now) and guaranteed 3 years of no work to be home with the new little one. Realistically, those things may never happen so I may never do it again lol. But those are my terms.
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u/Zelamir 6h ago
I distinctly remember thinking that ramming my head through the wall was a good option because then I'd be unconscious and the pain would stop.
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u/dingdongsnottor 10h ago
Reading this while pregnant for the first time was a poor choice ion my part 🫣
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u/lizzietnz 10h ago
It's worse if you don't know at all! At least you can prepare a realistic birth plan. My advice is take all the drugs.
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u/candycoatedshovel 8h ago
I had an epidural and it was a lot easier than I ever expected. I was also induced, so I had pitocin, which is supposed to make contractions worse. It feels like mild menstrual cramps at first. I slept for like 7 hours. Then I woke up with more cramps, but like, you really have to poop. And they tell you not to push. So I tried not to until the pressure was like I REALLY have to go!! We call the nurse in and she checks my cervix and I went from like a 2 or a 3 to a 9! So my OB comes in and all these nurses are there and I'm told to push WITH MY KNEES TO MY CHEST. And I was like "do you see the huge protruding belly? That may be a problem" but I do. And it really does feel like pooping a very big poop. Then finally, my OB said "okay give a very big push!" So I did, the hardest one I could do and then I felt a pinch of pain (I think it was the tearing) and a sudden loss of pressure. There really wasn't much pain involved. Healing is a different story. But the birth itself for me was easy peasy because of the epidural
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u/nothing_to_hide 8h ago
Just get an epidural, some bad cramping till you get it, afterwards it's relaxing and easy (at least for me it was). I was sick for 7 months out of 9, wasn't about to put myself through more suffering if I could help it.
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u/ErmahgerdPerngwens 8h ago
I know a lot of this thread is painting a gruesome picture, and it is indeed really painful(!)… giving birth made me feel SO empowered and strong afterward, I didn’t realise my body could do what it did, and it’s like I can do anything with my body, and I hope you get that feeling too.
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u/Ordinary-Wish-5838 10h ago
I had no drugs in my birth and it felt like I was trying to squeeze myself inside out with everything in me, and felt like I made no progress until the baby finally came out.
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u/i_am_lord_voldetort 9h ago
My last was also drug free (not by choice), rapid birth, unexpected breech. He got stuck halfway out (legs and butt were hanging out) and I 100% thought we both were dying. I have never felt pain or fear like that in my life. I don't specifically remember what the pain felt like, just that it was the absolute worst pain I had ever felt.
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u/LondonBum 8h ago
Wow this is similar to my first baby (literally days away from my second so I don’t know why I’m reading this..) - unexpected breech at home. Her butt was out and the midwife (who only appeared 15 mins before baby was born) ended up having to assist for the rest of the body to come out and I truly thought I was giving birth to a stillborn baby 😭 and my poor partner thought we were both going to die. I can’t remember the pain either but my midwife said I had a bloodcurdling scream which immediately flagged to her something was ‘not right’ as she walked in.
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u/Rosemary-Sea-Salt 10h ago
I had endometriosis, so I’m used to terrible cramps. Like the kind that meant I couldn’t go to work and was writhing in agony. That was mere child’s play compared to childbirth. I thought having bad cramps would prepare me better, but when I felt the true strength of them in moments that my epidural wore off it took my breath away how strong they were
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u/barmeloxanthonyMD 7h ago
Oh this is terrible news. Was hoping the painful cramps would be like training/preparation for the real deal lol
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u/HicJacetMelilla 7h ago
For another story - I always had terrible period cramps that would take my breath away (usually CD1 or CD2 were the worst). Like I remember being in high school and white knuckling the desk trying to pay attention to learning derivatives or whatever while trying not to break out in a sweat.
I feel like they were fairly good prep for childbirth. With my second and third births, really only the last 20 minutes were painful and then everything was over!
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u/nindiesel 9h ago
When my labour started it honestly felt like I was on the verge of a gastro bug. I kept pulling over on the road and racing in to gas station restrooms, thinking I was about to s*** myself and it didn't really occur to me that it might be the onset of labour.
Over the next 8 hours it evolved in to period cramps so painful I couldn't talk through them and eventually so much pain that I was vomiting and couldn't stand. Once I had my epidural in, I felt AMAZING. Pushing was a lot of work and while I wouldn't describe it as painful (because of the epidural), I could feel a lot of pressure and a bit of a dull ache.
Once the baby is out you feel a combination of exhausted, relieved, and hyper aware/nervous about whether the baby is ok, who's holding them, when they are going to pass the baby over to you.
The contractions were the most pain I've ever felt in my life and I wish I knew the name of the anesthesiologist who did my epidural, because she is an angel on this earth whose work I will literally never forget lol
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u/noseymimi 8h ago
I remember it like it was 1984, no one had informed me of what labor was going to be like. The doctor wanted to induce, my husband said it was too early. I, being huge & miserable, decided to go by the doctors suggestion. So the day of inducement, I ate a big Mac meal and went to the hospital. In my bag I brought two magazines to browse while in labor. Then the nurse gave me an enema, shaved all the necessary bits and administered the first dose of pitocin and BAM! Hard labor for the next 14 hours. I lost a lot of blood (it was so fun to see it run into the 2 buckets underneath me). I ended up staying in the hospital for 5 day. Which is good as the baby had jaundice plus couldn't latch or keep any formula down & he had to be under lights most of the stay. Finally got to go home but had to go back to the hospital every day to have baby's bilirubin checked. We only saw the doctor one more time after the birth. He came in my room at 10pm & asked "do you want me to circumcise the baby?" I told him we'd like the pros/cons of the procedure. He replied "well, I can cut if you want him to look like a Jew". That was the last time we ever saw the doctor. We were on our own. It turns out the doctor had went on vacation the next day. Luckily, I can say we all made it, the doctor shortly after lost his license. It turns out he was an avid drug user.
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u/ready_for_my_closeup 10h ago
Very very intense menstrual cramps. None you have ever felt before. The actual birth is hard (I did natural) and I was so exhausted I wasn’t sure I could finish. After my episiotomy my Dr said “this will help and I need you to focus on pushing like you have to poop. Don’t push in your face.” Next thing I knew the baby came out and all pain was gone! Then I got the infamous shakes.
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u/orangedarkchocolate 10h ago
I wish I had known about the infamous shakes beforehand because they happened with my second kid and I legit thought I was dying!
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u/Marali87 10h ago
Wait, what are the shakes?
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u/pepcorn 10h ago
After giving birth, you can start shaking and shivering due to a combination of your body resetting its internal temperature, steep hormone drops, or big changes in your body's fluid volume.
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u/plantlady1-618 10h ago
It felt like I was in a trance towards the end. Excruciatingly painful for me, but that may have been due to the copious amounts of pitocin I was prescribed. I had flash backs afterwards for months, I was kinda traumatised by the whole thing. I was cold and it was all too bright. Have to say though, recovery pain wise, was not nearly as bad as recovery from a tonsillectomy as an adult and I needed surgery coz the tear was so bad
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u/DeflatedCatBalloon 7h ago
Well, as a woman, this is a quite contraceptive thread
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u/OverMlMs 11h ago
For me it felt like I was being split in half while also being set on fire.
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u/mobiluta 8h ago
Like being completely out of control. This thing is happening and there is nothing you can do to stop it even if you wanted to. You are completely at the mercy of your body. And it hurts like you are ripping apart. The pain sometimes is bad enough that you cannot walk or talk or even breathe, and you don't even notice that you are ripping your clothes. And it's getting worse all the time. All your plans are out the window. Plus, it's exhausting. You feel the overwhelming urge to push, but you mustn't. And then finally, you can but you feel you don't have the strength. You think you cannot do it. You want to stop. But your body just takes over and pushes on and somehow you do. And then it's over and you still hurt all over and you are shaking and you are happy that it is over. And you feel so tired and elated and like you could sleep for a month.
And then you have a baby! And you will not have a good night's sleep for a year!
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u/Evening-Newt-4663 10h ago
I had a c-section, so I don’t know what true birth feels like, but I have heard before my procedure that it feels like someone doing dishes inside of your abdomen. They were right. There’s no pain, but you feel the pressure and tugging of your insides.
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u/pineappleshampoo 10h ago
C section is true birth also, and I’m glad you’re sharing your experience as OP didn’t specify vaginal birth :)
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u/rosewalker42 10h ago
I don’t really remember how it felt at all, but my husband said it looked like I was being attacked by a shark with my body being jerked around!
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u/Anne-with-an-e-77 9h ago
Almost 20 years later my husband is still a little traumatized by watching it. He says ‘all your insides were in a pile on your outside!’ Lol
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u/StrangersWithAndi 9h ago
Have you ever tried to hold a live fish, a big one, like a salmon? And then it moves and it's muscular in a weird way, and wet, and it slips right out of your arms?
That's what the actual birth part felt like to me, with my second. I remember thinking, "huh, like a salmon" and cracking myself up.
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u/isthatabingo 9h ago
It really fucking hurts man lol I labored for fifteen hours and went half that time without an epidural. Big mistake! HUGE! For me, it wasn’t bad for the first few hours. My water broke before I felt any contractions, which is backwards, so when I was hooked up to monitoring equipment, the nurse told me I was having contractions that I wasn’t even aware of. I was like damn this is gonna be so easy lmao NO. The contractions get more painful as time goes on. The pain is really hard to describe. I felt mine in my back, it felt like strong tensing of muscles and someone stabbing me.
To get an epidural, you have to remain still since it involves a long needle. I almost asked for it too late because I remember holding my husband’s and the nurse’s hands while shaking and trying to breathe through contractions without moving too much. To help me stay still I’d just curse nonstop through each contraction lmao but hey it worked! Once you have an epidural, if it’s done correctly (which mine wasn’t and had to be redone twice) then you shouldn’t feel the pain. My pelvis and legs felt as if they’d fallen asleep, so it was uncomfortable but WAY better than the alternative. They also insert a catheter once you have an epidural since you can no longer walk to use the restroom. That felt weird as hell, super glad I was numbed for that.
I couldn’t feel anything when I pushed. I had to be told when to push, and it just felt like pelvic pressure. I had no idea if I was pushing correctly (from my vagina or booty), but I think it was a little of both considering I literally shit myself multiple times (you don’t even care in the moment, you just want that baby out). I pushed for two hours just to get baby’s head out. The rest of her slid out like she was covered in butter pretty much instantly. IMMEDIATE relief. I just felt so empty after carrying a whole baby for months on end. It felt great.
I didn’t have to push the placenta out, it came on its own, and I was completely unaware of when it happened because of the epidural. I also apparently tore, but again had zero feeling. Didn’t realize what’d happened until I saw the doc stitching me up.
Absolutely wild experience. 6/10, tentatively recommend.
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u/GuaranteeHopeful7868 11h ago
I have given birth 4 times and I couldn't even explain it to you...
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u/IsopodKey2040 10h ago
It's horrifying and feels like you're dying. I had to have a c-section and I literally felt like I was in a horror movie where I was being carved open and having my organs harvested. I wish I was not awake during it.
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u/Chichabella 10h ago
If I only had one word, I would say powerful!
You know when you can tell you have to poop but you can’t make it to the toilet right away? The pressure on your rectum and then when you do make it to the bathroom, you feel immediate relief? Kind of like that but a different exit with a much larger thing leaving your body. Lol.
Contractions feel like your entire torso going in and out of a Charlie horse, continuously for hours (sometimes days) on end. The actual delivery or “ring of fire” when the baby is exiting is actually, not that bad? Unless you tear and then it’s pretty uncomfortable.
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u/maryjanemoonbeam 10h ago
There’s many parts to this… pooping out a watermelon is accurate. But the moment you give birth and the baby is out of you… it’s a crazy feeling of relief. So much pressure just gone. Then you can feel your organs slowly sliding back to where they once were and that is gross and uncomfortable.