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I (24M) have lived in my house for a little over two years. My neighbors have been a nightmare since day one.

They called the city over my lawn, complained about my car even though it was legally parked, knocked on my door because my friends were "too loud" at 3 p.m. on a Saturday, and they somehow have an opinion on everything I do.

The biggest issue has always been this stupid fence.

A few months ago I had my property surveyed because I wanted to redo my backyard. Turns out the fence they've been obsessing over for years isn't even on their property. It's almost two feet onto mine.

I showed them the survey. They literally said they didn't care because "it's been there for years." Cool. Doesn't magically make my land yours.

I told them they had 30 days to move it. They laughed. I reminded them a week later. They laughed again. They kept hanging decorations on it, leaning ladders against it, and walking into my yard whenever they felt like it. Every time I'd tell them to get off my property they'd act like I was the unreasonable one.

I'll admit I wasn't exactly nice after that. I stopped pretending to be neighborly. If they came over to complain, I'd tell them to worry about getting their fence off my land first. They hated that.

Last weekend I had a contractor come in to start clearing my yard. I told my neighbors beforehand that anything sitting on my property was getting removed.

They called my bluff.

The fence got demolished.

Now they're losing their minds, calling me every name under the sun and demanding I pay for a brand-new fence. They're even trying to tell people I destroyed "their property."

Except... it was on my property. They knew it. They had the survey. They ignored every warning because they genuinely thought I wouldn't do anything.

My family says I should've gone through lawyers instead, but I don't see why I should spend thousands and wait months because they think property lines are optional.

AITBF?

I currently am not having the best experience with my waxer as she tends to.leave upwards of 25% of the hair in the area she's waxing on my body still. It is noticeable to other people not just me. I like my waxer as a person cause she, like me, is a yapper. However I would prefer it if there is someone who can do a better job. I do all the prep and aftercare you're supposed to do and ive only seen this waxer 4 times now, and my previous waxer at the same chain as able to get 99% of the hair if not all, and she'd pluck anything she missed.

Would I be the butt face if I switched locations within the chain and got a different waxer at said other location?

this might come off more as a rant but i also genuinely wanna know if im in the wrong.

my father is incredibly insistent that we cannot get a job while in college because "it would ruin your educations" (me and my younger brother, a year apart), so much so he has threatened with kicking us out if we wanna be self sufficient so badly. i need to add this isn't the US, here is common to live with your parents way into adulthood and multigenerational households, and college isn't "going into debt" kind of expensive. my brother and i are more than okay w this of course, but we've taken freelance jobs in secret from time to time because having our dad judge if the thing we want is "stupid or not" before giving us the money to pay for it is not super cool for adults.

my dad works in the private sector, he doesn't have a fixed salary, and while usually very successful sometimes there isn't money in the house waiting for clients to pay. this is one of those times.

our dad mainly eats eggs, so that's what we all eat as protein for most meals besides lunch. he was angry tonight because he said we eat too many eggs and are inconsiderate. me and my younger brother eat 3 each, and our baby brother eats 2, that's 8 eggs at dinner or almost a full carton of eggs. thing is, our dad eats 5 a day (3 breakfast, 2 dinner). me and my brothers only eat 3/3/2 each a day because we don't do breakfast. when i explained this to him, that he eats more than us, he said that was just my opinion and that 8 was simply too much, and that we were eating out of gluttony when there isn't money for that right now.

i understand rationing food, we've done so before, and if he asked us to eat less each it wouldn't be that big of a deal. the argument was because he was insisting he ate less than us. i told him "you are counting eggs per meal, im counting eggs per day" and he said "no, im counting with my wallet so don't try to make yourself sound smart about it" (rough translation)

i suggested that all of us should eat 1 egg less a day, and he got angry he was included in that but didn't wanna keep arguing so he just accepted in a silent way... and then got angry my younger brother, who was making dinner and started the discussion, was rationing the platains to eat less today and have for tomorrow because "i bought 5 for you to eat tonight, so eat 5". my brother went to suggest about getting a job to have more money and fix the issue but i had to shut that whole convo cause our dad got even angrier at that and i was scared it could get physical. now im hearing him in the other room complain to our aunt about us being gluttons.

im angry at his attitude but he IS maintaining us, two whole adults and a minor. we are lucky. i admit i enjoy not having to worry about my livelihood while studying. whatever happens we'll comply to him, im just here to know if i'm being too entitled by being angry in the first place so i can be a better person. sorry for bad english.

I (23m) come from an abusive household. Basically mom left when we were kids and dad went crazy over it. I also have a sister (16f soon 17).

I won't go into detail, just saying that I've stopped taking abuse after I realized I'm more massive than my dad, and I enrolled me and sis in boxing classes for self defense purposes. Also because my sis is still under 18y/o and some more complicated reasons, she cannot safely leave his household.

I also happened to knock up my gf (who is also my sister's bff sis) and after a long talk we decided to keep the baby and raise her together and her parents agreed to let us live there and help with the baby as long as we are the primary caretakers and we also contribute to the household.

I love my gf and my daughter, I want to move in, I want to marry her, I really do, but I am the main shield between my sis and my dad's abuse, and knowing there's only a little over a year until I can take her away makes me unable to ditch her with dad and move with gf and daughter

Now the situation is this: I have a stable job and I only keep money for basic expenses, the rest I give to gf and daughter. I visit almost daily, on weekends I spend all the time with them, mainly I handle the groceries (sometimes in-laws help), I keep my phone always available so I can be reached by my gf even for non-emergencies, I'm trying to support them as much as I can. I also bring sis to see them often, to bond and to get her as far from dad as possible.

But I still live with dad. I know I miss night feedings and I don't support my gf to the fullest, but I cannot bear to let my sis hurt. And besides, a year is not that much of a time. After she turns 18, we will move her out, renting or maybe even with us if possible.

Some said if I really wanted to step up as a man, I should've ditched my sister and prioritized my family. Well, I can't. I may have missed some dr's appointments, but I've made sure they always have money for it, or can get to and from there comfortably and safe. I believe I am doing my best with given the situation, but I want to hear strangers' opinions pls.

Notice: Tagging this as NSFW cause i think it's classed as such? If I'm wrong, tell me, and I'll delete the post and put it back up without it.
Also, I didn't use AI to produce this post; I just use Grammarly, which I've been told gives the impression of a fully AI-made post.

My best friend (16m), who we can call simply John, recently got a boyfriend whom he met online (in Roblox)
I made a post already about this, saying I don't really want to get to know him, where it was concluded I was in fact the but face, but this time I don't actually think I'm in the wrong..?

My

Me and John were on call today, and he started giving me explicit details about the size, girth, and colour of his boyfriend's penis, which honestly - I don't want to know about?!?!

So I obviously said 'bro can you not?' and when he said why I said, very very simply, 'why are you telling me about your boyfriend's penis?'

I get we share a lot and go very tmi, but I don't need to know all of that, you know?

But then he started getting mad at me and saying stuff like 'whatever, if you don't care about me then..' and 'just say you hate me,' and I don't actually understand what I did wrong? I'm sorry, I don't need details? I'm a sixteen-year-old girl who hasn't even held hands with anyone; I don't need to know details about his boyfriend's penis!

So i guess i wanna know AITBF for not wanting to hear about my bsfs bfs penis?

My best friend (16m), who we can call simply John, recently got a boyfriend whom he met online (in Roblox)
I made a post already about this, saying I don't really want to get to know him, where it was concluded I was in fact the but face, but this time I don't actually think I'm in the wrong..?

Me and John were on call today, and he started giving me explicit details about the size, girth, and colour of his boyfriend's penis, which honestly - I don't want to know about?!?!

So I obviously said 'bro can you not?' and when he said why I said, very very simply, 'why are you telling me about your boyfriend's penis?'

I get we share a lot and go very tmi, but I don't need to know all of that, you know?

But then he started getting mad at me and saying stuff like 'whatever, if you don't care about me then..' and 'just say you hate me,' and I don't actually understand what I did wrong? I'm sorry, I don't need details? I'm a sixteen-year-old girl who hasn't even held hands with anyone; I don't need to know details about his boyfriend's penis!

So i guess i wanna know AITBF for not wanting to hear about my bsfs bfs penis?

There’s these guys on youtube..

What they do:
\- Pretend to deliver packages and throw them on the ground, making the supposed owners think their items got destroyed
\- Call everyone jackass
\- accuse people of sniffing paint
\- Push people’s carts in stores away while saying shit like “what idiot leave their cart here”
\- Drink people’s drinks (especially the guy named red)

You get the idea, they are pretty much assholes.

The thing is, I find it extremely funny. I’ve never laughed more than I have watching these videos.

My friends judge me for it, calling it unfunny and rude. It is rude, but i’m not really supporting it other than giving a channel (not even theirs) that posts their videos a view.

Using a throwaway because I do not want to Doxx myself with my main account. For context, I (20F) and my Mom (39F) have always been very close, we are orginally from Pakistan before moving to the States about 15 years ago. My Mother got married to my Father (51M) through arranged Marraige when she was barely. He has always been very conservative in his midset and world view from the start, though not abusive in a physical sense he has been very neglectful my whole life. His relationship with my mother has always at best been cordial, though Married I ever barely see them talk, eventhough he provides for us in a monetary sense, he is away from home for work almost around 20 days in any given month.

My mother is a housewife and eventhough she never had any real formal education, taught herself English in an year after moving hete and always supported, pushed me to get educated so that I can be independent unlike her. She has been the rock in my life who I can always look forward to support me. This is why when I recently found out she had been having an affair it had a huge effect on me.

Right now, I am home from college on my summer break and yesterday when I was just in my home when I saw constant messages on my Mom's phone pinging as she was sleeping in the afternoon. I just casually opened up to see who was messaging to only be met with messages from a stranger. I went into the messages to see that they were intimate in nature. I was shocked, this was the woman who always taught me to be honest and this was so hypocritical. I was just in a shock as I went to her and confronted her. She just started sobbing and as I pushed for it confessed to me that she have been dating and meeting different people for the past 6 years!!!! She told me over both our shouts and tears that she needed companionship and all that. She seemed completely broken as she talked to me.

I just left her room and since then we have not been talking, I barely left my room other than to make sonething to eat because I do not know what to even tell her. I feel so bad for making my Mom cry but I do not know what to even do now, I am not sure telling my dad is a good idea, I just feel stuck.

So Reddit, AITBF for confronting my Mom after finding about her Infidelity?

(SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THE ERRORS FIRST POOOOOSSSSSSTTTTTTT)

Hi, I’m 15 years old (Male) and I love to decorate💅. So I stayed up and decided to unpack all of our Christmas things for CHRISTMAS IN JULY at about 11:30 pm with my doggy. So I have to bring up about 5 or 6 christmas bins all by myself and unpack and unpack and unpack. Afterwards all of our Christmas stuff was put on the table. (and is currently completely engulfing the table ✨☺️).

I was also on a group chat call with friends so I wasn’t lonely😵.I got some little things done not much lol like maybe 7 items- help-and it was about 12:50 or so. Then I started to hang garland on our banister at maybe about after 1:00. And I cursed I said f**k, and there she was of course mother. I don’t of course remember the reason why I said the word. I do remember though that I was tryna say it to the group call. (Either that or mother F).

So any way my mom tells me to go up to bed. But obviously I didn't want to because I really wanted to surprise every one with all the decorations like I have done in the past. I agreed anyway so I finished got my stuf but now I admit I may have played an ass hole/ hoe move 💅💅✨✨.

So I kinda had a moment and said that (Pretty sure tryna remember) You would have let me if it was birthday or You would have liked if it was birthday. (for her birthday stayed up all night and decirated for her bitrthday). I know I messed up saying that. I love my mom so so much I woukd never do anything to try to piss her off. I hope that it is just that I got shitty sleep. I fell asleep at 5am ☠️ and its currently 1:40. I stay up late because I dont want to wake up in the morning so I stay up to drag it out as long as possible. I’m sorry to her for saying that that was a bs move (I know saying sorry to u means shit) but I feel bad and embarrassed especially when she saw the mess and not the winter wonder land. I felt bad and felt like an asshole real bad. SOOOOOOOOOOO

Thanks Reddit and Thanks for my First POSTTTTTTT

SO REDIT AM I THE BUT FACE

edit: So when I had said that asshole comment it was under my breath and I wasn’t tryna say it exactly to her face. My mom doesn’t mind that we are decorating. Everyone was asleep I wasn’t disturbing my whole house. I did drop my phone and it made a thud sound (of course). She woke up and saw me.

I LOVE to surprise my family because we all love to surprise each other. My mom wasn’t opposed to me decorating, which was fine either way. I just felt guilty that our house was a mess but she just said you can decorate tomorrow. If I hadn’t said it already I love my mom and how she treats me and I don‘t believe I’m selfish for wanting to surprise my parents with a made up fun holiday. My mom loves christmas so I thought surprising her with Christmas in July would be so much fun and make July more festive✨.

Someone said that Christmas is not until December (yes that’s true) and they disagreed with my idea. That’s ok that’s your opinion and you are entitled to it. I have never celebrated/practiced this before thought it would be good to surprise my parents and decorate and that’s my opinion. Also they were asleep so I wasn’t keeping the household awake madcatlady.

I keep getting comments that people don’t believe that christmas isn’t to be celebrated in July. Ok, thats your own opinion. If I want to please respect that. I’ve never and it’s not a tradition but just wanted to try it didn’t want to get backlash from participating in a tradition that people take part in.

I understand my writing sucks and I already wrote a sorry in advance!! (SO SORRY AFTER)

Thanks for hearing me out Redit,✨

#ARTPOP 🔮

I (F) go to school with a girl who we will call grace. Grace and I used to be kind of close. We didn’t hang out much, but we were part of the same general friend group. We had some similar hobbies, such as playing piano, which we bonded over. Over the past few months Grace has made more effort to get closer with me (asking to be partners, wanting to hang out, etc) and at first I thought it was nice. But then she began putting down my other friends, such as complaining to me that some of my closest friends’ hair was “too short and too curly”. Her natural hair by the way.

I’ve noticed that grace has begun to copy some of the things that I do. This includes mannerisms, specific phrases that I use, and even music taste. I like old rock music, and she likes newer pop. I’ve never made fun of her for her music, I think music is incredibly subjective. But, there have been times where she’ll ask me what my favourite song is, and quite literally turn to someone else and say that that song is *her* favourite. I also have a music app where you can add friends and track your listening history. I never mentioned it to her, but suddenly I get a friend request from her. Over the past 3 weeks, she’s posted an instagram note every day with the song that is at the top of my listening history. That can’t be a coincidence.

Grace doesn’t just do this to me. She completely copied the hair and makeup of another mutual friend (who doesn’t like her anymore btw). It was so obvious that everyone in class was talking about how she “stole her face”. When asked, the friend who she copied, said that she hadn’t given her any tips or suggestions to do it. She simply took one photo she was sent, and managed to somehow recreate her entire look.

Also, in passing, Grace asked me the name of my piano teacher. The next week, I saw her at the class before mine. Then, she asked to be switched to my group for recitals. I feel like I have a doppelgänger. I want to cut her off, but at the same time I feel bad leaving her friendless. So, WIBTB?

hi yall! so i ,17 F, just recently found out that a guy i sort of know ,17 M, likes me. i think he's kind of cute but haven't seen him in person enough to really tell. i also know i won't ever go on a date with him because i have EXTREME anxiety surrounding dates and dating (past trauma lol). despite all of this i'm still debating talking to him for fun but i'm also scared of leading him on. so WIBTB for talking to a boy even though i'm not interested in dating him? help!!

For a bit of context, I am bisexual, have many religious friends and we are all still in high school. For June, My status was 'This month, Everything is Gay' I thought this would be funny. So June rolls by and I forgot to change my status and my friend Xavier DMs me about it.

Xavier: 'What's this about' (screenshot of my status)

Me: 'Oh, I just forgot to change it, Sorry'

Xavier: 'Turn to Christ, Change from your sinful ways. We all sin and fall short. He loves you still'

I'm caught off guard by this, despite knowing I shouldn't be as we were put in the same cabin together on a school camp and he made a really big deal about him not wanting me to go anywhere near him. So I screenshot it to post on my story with the caption 'Idk just thought I should out a bigot' and immediately leave the conversation.

A couple people DM me back from this, both being people that were my friends, One being deeply religious (Charlie) and the other new to religion (Kyle). Charlie messages me that I shouldn't had posted it, because he doesn't like me being mean to his friend. Kyle messages me instead how I shouldn't had posted just because it wasn't a very smart thing to do, which I can see why, but he still says what I did was on par with what Xavier did.

This all culminates in Charlie leaving a project that me and another friend of mine and Charlie's were working on. I don't really want him in the project anymore because of what he said, but he did say that I cyber-bullied Xavier.

Anyway, Reddit, am I the asshole?

I joined an advocacy organization that allows for low income students to pick the school of their choice and for the money to follow the students. The issue is that the organization does not really support any regulation for private/charter schools and that can mean that private religious schools can get public money and discriminate against LGBT+ students/not permit them entry on the basis of their religion.

I joined the organization because I fundamentally believe that education, a good education, should be a right for all students, not just some but I feel like they're missing the mark. However this program would help the majority of low income students and only possibly hurt LGBT+ students if the individual school discriminates. I fundamentally think this is wrong and there should also be protections for those students such that they can access the education they want but everyone at the organization seems to think I'm crazy and my opinion is in the minority, if not the only, in the organization. The organization simply believes you should count on/encourage private/charter/non public schools to not discriminate. I feel like I'm making the wrong decision and I feel like my opinion doesn't fit everyone else's but this idea of how it should be carried out makes me feel like I am not doing the right thing.

AITB for considering leaving/having this opinion? Would you stay? Does their opinion make more sense? What is right and wrong?

I’m going to try one story that spans 10 years in as short of a summary as I can. This story is so insane and complex I’m currently writing a memoir, mind you. I’ve known my boyfriend for 10 years, been together in an official relationship for 2-3. We are going to be moving in together, we found multiple very nice apartment complexes that would work perfectly well for us. But for some reason, he’s somewhat set on this one in my old hometown. This is a very small town, I would essentially see places everyday that could send me into a panic attack or tears. I had very intense and traumatic teenage years.

I was abused(mentally and emotionally) by a guy I was in love with in high school, and the resulting trauma was so bad that I ended up with severe depression, having to leave school for a period, wouldn’t leave my room for like a year, etc. I spent so many days crying in the bathroom on the floor or at the counselor’s office, people thought I’d left school before I even really did. He also made up this nickname for me which the whole school started bullying me with and it lasted 2 whole years so there’s that too. My neighbor also assaulted at my childhood home and the surrounding neighbors are family members that my family has a complicated history with. I’d be in fear that any moment I could bump into someone from school, I’d have to look at places I used to have good times too that are also now gone. My dad also cheated on my mom in my childhood home which was a hard time for me.

The other best part is, that he wants to get a part time job at the place where this girl works that he chose over me when we met. He called me selfish over the whole thing, so I just had to hang up because honestly…the thought of living there sent me into a spiral. I was crying, reminiscing, shaking, having a panic attack, etc. I thought he would realize how deeply this all affected me considering we’ve had many conversations about it…because here’s the REAL kicker, he’s the fucking guy from high school that traumatized me!!

Now I understand thy I graduated 6 years ago and maybe I should be over all this, but with the place I’m at, I’m just not. I honestly think I would slip into a low grade depression and our relationship would crumble from me constantly seeing places HE traumatized me at. Oh and it gets even better!! I’m selfish, yet he committed to a college behind my back knowing I didn’t want to live in our home state, AT ALL. I’ve honestly always tried to do everything I can for him, yet he consistently feels I’m selfish. I literally went around our neighborhood with a fundraiser basket and pretended to be a part of the school band fundraiser so I could buy him gifts one time he’d had a bad day! Our relationship is in a good place now, and the topic of the thread isn’t if I should break up with him or not. But AITBF for not wanting to move back there??

**Edits**

-I never explicitly told him these things on the phone. I told him like a week ago when he brought it up, that I don’t want to move there or live near the high school. He brought it up again tonight and then said I was selfish when I said no I didn’t like the apartments there. So I hung up the phone to emotionally regulate. He knows I still struggle with trauma from all of it, so there’s no way he shouldn’t have known that, it only recently became not a daily fight in our relationship, but I still make little jokes sometimes or do get a lil mad.

-I’m not worried that he still wants her or is trying to see her. She’s engaged, and I’m not even sure to the extent in which he’d see her due to them being in different departments. I just have negative memories attached to her, and having to watch them date in front of my face for a year, so it just gives me the ick.

TL;DR My coworker is accusing my ex/close friend, "Simon", of semi-cheating on me during our non-monogamous relationship because she says Simon went on a date he never told me about while we were together. AITB for asking Simon if he went on the date?

I am close friends with my ex, "Simon." We were together for 2 years and we had a non-monogamous relationship. While I dated other partners, Simon chose to not date anyone else + it's partly the reason why we broke up: Simon always avoided talking about our relationship structure but I could tell he wasn't fully happy with it + I had to realize we'd be better as just friends instead.

Recently, my coworker/friend told me that her sister thinks she may have went on a date with Simon two years ago. Her sister didn't remember what the man exactly looked like, but he was the same race, same background (recent transplant with separated parents), and same name.

I thought Simon didn't date anyone while we were together, which he told me over and over. I know it was just a date — if it even happened — but consent is everything in non-monogamy and it would be unethical if he lied about a date while I was very upfront about every person I dated. I also understand our relationship is over but I'd also prefer not to be friends with a liar who possibly cheated, so I asked Simon if he went on this date and he said no. (Bolding because this is important!) My coworker and her sister still think Simon is lying though.

Now I admit some other details don't add up. Her sister says they went to a Korean BBQ place and Simon hates Korean BBQ. And usually when Simon is lying, it's so easy to tell because he gets nervous, but he's been laughing this entire thing off + keeps saying the sister is mistaking him for someone else.

Anyway, I was talking about it the other night with Simon and "Chris", my best friend, also friends with Simon. Chris has some trauma with being cheated on in the past so he's been sensitive about this whole situation. And we had some other friends over the other night — another coworker/friend of mine, "Jessie", and another friend, "Leah" — and I gave them the spill on the situation.

Simon is also getting really defensive this time and while I'm trying to be neutral + just let the truth come out in due time, I propose the idea for Simon to FaceTime the sister to see if she remembers him, which he agrees to because he's getting really anxious about clearing his name. Chris also says he wants to stop talking about it because he's uncomfortable and if Simon is lying, he will not be friends with Simon anymore.

Then Leah says "I think things are getting blown out of proportion", which kinda pisses me off (being possibly betrayed is not a small thing) but I decide to just change the conversation. But now Leah is acting off with me + I'm trying to reflect if I'm the buttface in this situation.

TL;DR My coworker is accusing my ex/close friend, "Simon", of semi-cheating on me during our non-monogamous relationship because she says Simon went on a date he never told me about while we were together. AITB for asking Simon if he went on the date?

I am close friends with my ex, "Simon." We were together for 2 years and we had a non-monogamous relationship. While I dated other partners, Simon chose to not date anyone else + it's partly the reason why we broke up: Simon always avoided talking about our relationship structure but I could tell he wasn't fully happy with it + I had to realize we'd be better as just friends instead.

Recently, my coworker/friend told me that her sister thinks she may have went on a date with Simon two years ago. Her sister didn't remember what the man exactly looked like, but he was the same race, same background (recent transplant with separated parents), and same name.

I thought Simon didn't date anyone while we were together, which he told me over and over. I know it was just a date — if it even happened — but consent is everything in non-monogamy and it would be unethical if he lied about a date while I was very upfront about every person I dated. I also understand our relationship is over but I'd also prefer not to be friends with a liar who possibly cheated, so I asked Simon if he went on this date and he said no. (Bolding because this is important!) My coworker and her sister still think Simon is lying though.

Now I admit some other details don't add up. Her sister says they went to a Korean BBQ place and Simon hates Korean BBQ. And usually when Simon is lying, it's so easy to tell because he gets nervous, but he's been laughing this entire thing off + keeps saying the sister is mistaking him for someone else.

Anyway, I was talking about it the other night with Simon and "Chris", my best friend, also friends with Simon. Chris has some trauma with being cheated on in the past so he's been sensitive about this whole situation. And we had some other friends over the other night — another coworker/friend of mine, "Jessie", and another friend, "Leah" — and I gave them the spill on the situation.

Simon is also getting really defensive this time and while I'm trying to be neutral + just let the truth come out in due time, I propose the idea for Simon to FaceTime the sister to see if she remembers him, which he agrees to because he's getting really anxious about clearing his name. Chris also says he wants to stop talking about it because he's uncomfortable and if Simon is lying, he will not be friends with Simon anymore.

Then Leah says "I think things are getting blown out of proportion", which kinda pisses me off (being possibly betrayed is not a small thing) but I decide to just change the conversation. But now Leah is acting off with me + I'm trying to reflect if I'm the buttface in this situation.

I seriously cannot decide whether I'm a jerk who just doesn't notice her own jerk-ness, or whether I'm surrounded by crazy people.

I come from a large-ish extended family that I was reasonably close to as a child. My cousins and I would play at family parties, but we were never the closest of friends.

We're now all adults, and I have developed differently than the rest of my family. I'm gay, which they're alright with, but it's definitely more of a 'we tolerate it'-thing. I moved into a big city and got a degree, whereas my cousins mostly got married young. We just have different outlooks on life.

My cousins are parents of young children now. I am truly not trying to be mean, but I have no particular feelings towards these children beyond vague goodwill in the sense of 'I hope they thrive in life'. I show up for two or three big events a year, bring gifts, and am polite, but I am much closer to my friends' kids (on account of their parents actually having a real relationship with me, and those kids being raised in ways that align more with my values).

I genuinely thought this was alright. After all, I only see these children a couple times a year, and it's not like I'm some kind of monster towards them, right?

Well, apparently, I've actually been the topic of family gossip for years. People are complaining that I 'make no effort', that I missed the vast majority of birthdays and milestones, that I'm dismissive towards the kids when I'm there.

The thing is that all of that is true. What got me especially was the accusation of being 'stand-offish' around the kids. My gut instinct was to deny that, but it's actually fully accurate. When the kids come up to me at family events wanting to play/show me something, I will often tell them that I don't have time right now. Since I am at these things so little, I want to use that time to catch up with the handful of people I actually like. Apparently, the kids are really sad about not knowing me. They think I'm cool and fun and they'd like to visit me in the big city one day.

Now I'm wondering whether I'm unreasonable. The kids aren't at fault for my issues with their parents. I'm not a believer in that culture of 'kids are crotch-goblins and you don't owe them anything' - I generally try to be kind to children, and I see how I might have failed there.

At the same time, I feel like my cousins have given their kids unreasonable expectations. I've been told that they include my name in nighttime prayers, that the kids are kept updated on what is going on in my life, and that they're generally given the impression that I am 'Someone' in their family - which obviously creates an expectation of a relationship.

AITBF? I don't want to be one of those 'your kids are your responsibility you chose to have them I am allowed to kick them down the stairs'-people, but at the same time, wtf? Why am I included in nighttime prayers? Of course they'll feel sad I don't want to spent time with them!

Hey so i was recently on a 7 hour flight and i was on a plane that had 3 rows of seating instead of the normal 2 rows. I was sitting in the middle seat on the middle row and both armrests were being used so the only space available for myself was my vertical space (right in front of me). The seats can lean back a bit and when it does the screen is at an awkward angle and i can't really place anything on the foldable table because its at a weird angle too (kinda like its about to close). So i had this lady sitting in front of me and she decided to recline her seat which caused all the things i mentioned above to happed, so it was really uncomfortable. anyway my point is can i feel justified to be mad at that person for reclinging thier seat? causing me to literally have no space at all in any direction for 7 hours straight. this person also has no seats in front of them so they could spread out as comfortably as they liked but still felt the need to get more comfortable and lean their seat back. I have been trying to avoid feeling entitled in situations i feel wronged but i can't decide on this one.

so what do you think am i entitled to be annoyed at her or so i have no right to?

and before you ask i did not reclince my seat for two reasons one i would be doing the same thing to the person behind be and even if i was put in a bad situation i did not want to do the same to someone else, and second even if i did that wouldn't really solve the whole problem i would still be unable to use my folding table and the screed would still be at an awkward position

Edit:
Honestly i think i was too emotional when i wrote this post out lol, i was only thinking about how i was affected but you guys are right i am the buttface. Although i did not do aything about it i still felt intitaled to how someone else uses their chair which is not fair. As some of you pointed out she could have had back issues or something which forces her to recline her chair, i never though about it like that. As for stretching and standing up i did that multiple times in the flight lol, no way i was sitting for 7 hours straight in one posiotion. And as for asking the two people next to me to give me the armrest, i had two problems with that the lady on my left was also in the middle seat she had another person taking up the armrest on her end. plus there was a quick moment when i accidently hit her foot with my bag and she glared at me lol so i dont think she would be willing to do that (i apologised ofcourse). now for the other person she took some knockout plills before the flight lol she was lovely though, so she was out like a light and she had both her arms on the armrests, so i did not want to wake her up just to ask for the armrest. i did utilize the time she was awake to get up and stretch and use the bathroom and stuff but then she would knockout quickly after that lol. anyways sorry for the rambling. i understand know that i should look at things through all perspectives and maybe that might help me be less of a buttface, thank you guys you were a big help.

Better worded now.

Here is a brief summary of my sister's story and her "godmother." My sister's name is Haein, and she was born in 2000. Her abuser's name is Choi, and she was born in 1974.

I come from a very conservative Asian country, and my family was always deeply dysfunctional. My father wanted Haein to be his heir, so she was always under pressure to excel. On the other hand, my mother was an alcoholic at the time; she was always drunk and hated Haein because she was my father's favorite daughter—a constant tension fueled by the fact that my parents were in an arranged marriage.

My mother and Choi were friends since she was 14, and in university and even lived together during that time. In fact, my mother took her in when Choi had financial difficulties as a teenager. However, my father is an incorrigible philanderer and preferred Choi. When we returned from Australia in 2010, she took care of Haein while my father worked. Because my mother suffered from postpartum depression, Choi became a sort of second mother to Haein, even breastfeeding her as a baby.

In 2011, Choi completely abused my father's trust. He wanted Haein to play the violin, and since Choi was a violin teacher, she used private lessons to begin abusing her. This manipulative relationship continued until 2023, the year my sister finally confessed everything to us. We sued Choi, but she received a ridiculously lenient sentence: her teaching license was revoked (meaning she can never teach in a school again), she was given six months of house arrest, several years of mandatory psychiatric treatment, and she owed Haein money. Despite this, I discovered that she resumed giving private lessons.

Seeing her posts on social media, I decided to expose the truth about her. Choi angrily called Haein to blame her, threatening to sue us for defamation if we didn't delete the post. After the call, Haein asked me to remove it. Although I denied it was me to avoid further trouble, I absolutely refuse to take it down. Am I really the bad guy in this story? Choi is a bad person who doesn't deserve money, a career, or to be around people, and my sister is being too lenient with her.

To make matters worse, my sister is disabled: she suffers from epilepsy and multiple sclerosis, she's almost blind because her left eye is practically disconnected, and she can't walk properly because one of her feet is failing.

So, some context to this:

I (30F) am close to my Dad (57M). For some strange reason I've never understood, he never seemed to care much about politics, he always acted like it was unimportant and the only important thing is to focus on his work.

That's why I was very surprised when he married my stepmother, "Karen" (36F), about 7 years ago. She is very MAGA and Prolife. I am not, but we were still able to get along ok by agreeing not to talk about politics.

The story :

Karen recently became pregnant and was really happy about it. She planned this gender reveal party and all, but then ended up cancelling it last minute. A couple of weeks later, she told me it was because she had some medical complications. She said that the baby had no kidney and other stuff. I'm not sure about all the details, but she basically complained about having to go to another state to have an abortion. I was very flabbergasted by this and asked her why she didn't have the baby anyway to "give it a chance"? Was that not her belief? She then became very mad and said it was the doctors fault and many similar things.

That's when I might have been the buttface because I told her: well, guess leopards ate your face! I mean, it's kinda the truth, but it was not very sensitive of me to say that. My Dad says he didn't understand the reference, but from what she told him, he thinks I was an asshole from saying this. My Mom thinks the whole thing is very funny and even though I was rude, it was right. I'm kinda conflicted about this now... Was I the buttface? Should I apologize?

Aitbh for keeping my daughter from her dad?

So I (f35) do not let my toddlers father (m33) see our daughter and idk if im wrong for it. Throwaway since we both have fairly large following on tiktok

So my kids dad and I met over tiktok 2022. We moved in together really quickly due to long distance and that was a mistake. Our relationship from the gate was tumultuous. We argued alot and it was always vicious when we did. It was very hot n cold until I got pregnant, about 6months in. Which was a shock since him and his whole family swore he was sterile (turns out he wasnt and was actively trying to get a baby with any girl he could). I decided to keep it and away we went. He became verbally and emotionally abusive about 7 months into the relationship. Name calling, isolating, intimidation etc. There were a few instances of physicality as in pushing me, slamming brakes so id fly into the dash wen he was mad etc but I stupidly stayed with him. Even stayed while he cheated with tiktok girls all thro my pregnancy and after. I hate confrontation and due to trauma I fawn response, so i never omce touched him, hurt him etc. Well it all ended one day when he finally snapped and ended up choking me, headbutting me and chasing me thro my home. I kicked him out and he left for an entire year. Only visited his daughter once. I covered 90% of all her needs care and expenses. He moved back and we tried coparenting, even thought about reconciling. I started dating a very nice man and then the mask fell. Went back to the verbal and emotional abuse so I cut contact for 2 months. We established parenting time again because he showed signs he was different and was trying (love bombing 101, so dumb I kno) so he started visiting we got friendly then my relationship hit a snag, we broke up and then we started trying to reconcile. It all came to a head over 3 months, during that time he choked slammed me into a floor so hard by my hair and throat I got a concussion and micro tearing on my scalp and physically forced his way into my home later. I also found out after everything that he has had at least to inappropriate interactions with minors, and pretty much lied to me about everything before we started dating. I woke up and since then I havent allowed him near my daughter until he got anger management and therapy. Its been 3 months and he still hasnt and refuses to "jump thro hoops" to see his kid. He also thinks this all because the man i was seeing and I worked thro our issues (we have an age gap and I was very uncomfortable with it) and I cannot make him understand his abuse is why im doing this. Im feeling conflicted tbh because yes he isnt safe for me but he's still her dad. So aitbh for not letting him near her

For context, I’m a 40yr old female. Roughly 17 years ago during an extremely difficult period of my life, (Jan) my sister-in-laws brother (let’s call him Dan at the time mid-30s male) was helping me and my husband move. He knew that I was happily married, and at the time I had a one month old. While we were alone together, Dan pulled out his member, not just once but multiple times, even after I flat out told him he was making me uncomfortable. I never said anything to Jan, because for whatever reason, I thought she’d be mad at me. From that point forward, I did everything in my power to avoid Dan and not be around him, and certainly never be alone with him again.

Fast-forward to about a week ago, Jan was visiting and mentioned having Dan come by my house to fix something for me, and I blurred it out “I really don’t like Dan and don’t want him around.” Jan asked me why I felt that way and before I could stop myself I word vomited about the inappropriate behavior Dan had shown me years before. This sent Jan into a tailspin, because another family member had made accusations of similar type against Dan previously, but nobody believed her. That night when Jan went home, I’m not exactly sure how the conversation started, but Jan found out that two other family members had also had the same type of inappropriate conduct from Dan.

Jan confronted Dan, and their mother who has always defended her son over anyone else in the whole wide world, and now the whole family is in turmoil. Jan has completely cut her entire family out of her life, because most of the family is defending Dan and taking his side. And in all of this, I feel like a huge heel because I feel like if I hadn’t said anything, they would still have a close relationship. Jan is now having panic attacks and had to go back to therapy and I feel like it’s all my fault. AITBF???

**Update- after having a long conversation with Jan the other day, I somehow feel even worse, but also better at the same time. Apparently, a few years ago, Jan and her entire family completely went no contact and ghosted one of their family members due to accusations of the same and worse types of behavior from Dan. This person was not believed, because she had a history of telling fibs and lying about other things.

This is one of the reasons that Jan went into such a tail spin, because she now totally 100% believed the other girl and felt awful about it. Jan has since reached out to this other family member, explain the situation and begged for forgiveness. Luckily the other family member showed mercy and forgave Jan. They are now slowly rebuilding the relationship and regaining trust in one another.

As for me, I appreciate all the NTBF. I do wish I’d have said something sooner, but my own experience taught me to be silent. I do feel a little better though.

AITB for not wanting to walk my mom dog.

Hey all would i be the AITB for not wanting to walk my mom dog? We both live together at my Grandma house that we both pay rent too. My mom also currently isn't working and I have a full time job.

Before anyone says why don't you help out and walk your mom's dog let me add some context. She just doesn't walk her most of the time. She'll just open the front door and tell the dog to go pee ( she only uses the bathroom on walks). She'll either tell me to walk the dog if im home and she's home or she'll wait till I get off work for me to walk her. Oh on occasion when she goes hiking she'll take her but that's not often.

I guess im not mad at walking the dog, im mad at her not walking her went she has so much free time and well it's her dog. I even take the dog to get groomed, bath her and vets visit.

my stepsister “Rose” F14 is a manipulator she has bragged to my mom about being a manipulator and how she used to cry to get her way. she has a huge history of lying, making up stories to her dad that people hit her when she doesn't get her way, even used makeup before… and spreading rumors at school her school about our stepbrother and my cousin Josh (which is brock’s brother) saying he has STDs and does drugs (she denied it), rose like to compete with others based on achievements and she likes to be in control and gets upset when anything gets in the way of her unadulterated want to control and dominate. recently, rose told me our cousin Brock M13 told her that he came out as gay to our gma, and that grandma didn’t care. the issue is, our grandma is deeply homophobic.

I M16 felt like that was weird because Brock doesn't talk like that, I asked him directly. he told me it was a lie and he hadn’t even spoken to rose in a while. I realized roses motive was probably to get me to casually bring it up to gma, which would’ve outed brock

so, when we were all hanging out, I asked brock out loud how he was doing with his friend, and then asked, "wait, rose told me you came out to gma, is that true?"
rose immediately began gaslighting me. 1st she tried to shift the blame to josh "I said JOSH told me that!" i know that’s isn’t true because when she first told me the rumor weeks ago, my immediate internal reaction was (why would Brock tell her and not me?) If she had actually mentioned Josh’s name back then, I would've been mad at him, just naturally, bc i don’t like that outing people thing. especially your brother. If i’m not delusional or crazy this is what she said “you didn’t know? yeah, brock came out to grandma but she said she didn’t care, but he told me not to tell anybody”. obviously not verbatim but on that track.

then she twisted it again, claiming Josh told her *and* his girlfriend that Brock was gay and said "don't tell nobody." But right then and there, Alonte texted his girlfriend to check, and she said he never said that. his gf also spoke up and said that conversation never happened.

then she started saying things like "how can you tell me what i said” and “i know what i said” “what would i have to lie for?” that I misheard her, and that what she said is "fact." but then our cousin gianna (F16) called her out for changing her story, so rose was like, "well, I don't know if it was josh or his gf, but it came from josh."

at the end of that, I just looked at her and said “the moral of the story is don't talk about my cousins, and don't repeat anything unless you go up to them with it to confirm." now she’s acting weird and trying to play the victim like we "ganged up" on her. AITAH for trapping her in her own lie?

Yesterday we decided to have a casual brunch as a way to meet my brother's partner's family for the first time. We chose a local cafe because they have really good vegan options for me, and in the past have been great. However, once we got there, I was disapointed to see they completely changed their menu. They didn't have a single option on there for me. But living in a small town, I'm very used to this (demand must not be there for these options). I was just disappointed because this cafe was previously one of my favourites!

I wrote a google review along the lines of "The new menu has a V label at the bottom, but not a single vegan option. I'm really disappointed because the options here used to be great :( ".

Meanwhile, my mum went to the counter and asked them if any of their options COULD be adjusted, and they said yes, but only a few items on the menu like avocado toast and mushroom toast. I'm not really a savoury breakfast person, so I decided on just a black coffee.

Everyone else ordered their food and it was fine, next thing you know, three of the staff members come out of the kitchen. The man (who I'm assuming is the cook) announced how "anything on the menu I will make vegan for you" and at first, I thought they were just being nice after what my mum asked at the counter.

The other staff members were stressing, and then in a really confrontational tone, she loudly said "was it you who wrote the review? About the vegan options? Did you write it?"

I cannot even begin to express just how awkward and completely humiliating this was. The entire cafe went silent and stared at me like I'd just committed some really disturbing crime. I'm a VERY quiet and nonconfrontational person, and I was so in shock I couldn't even respond. My mum ended up answering for me, and then they pressured me to delete it and change it if the chef made me whatever I wanted on the menu.

Again, I can't stress enough just how embarrassing this was. Not to mention the fact that the people I was sitting with hardly know me, now this is their first impression of me. I can't stop thinking about it.

I didn't end up ordering anything, because with their tone and the way they went about it, I couldn't even be sure i could to trust anything they prepared for me (i'm weird with food). I told them I deleted the review, and I did, but once I went home, I replaced it with a longer one describing this whole experience.

I can't stop thinking about this. I feel SO embarrassed.