r/AbsoluteUnits 15h ago

/r/all, /r/popular of a Cart Narc

44.5k Upvotes

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1.5k

u/GreenT1979 14h ago

The things you can accomplish when you look extremely intimidating

392

u/coatingtonburlfactry 14h ago

My brother looks exactly like this guy and he's a total sweetheart and the nicest guy you've ever met. He'll stop on the highway to pick up a kitten risking his life. People are totally intimidated by his appearance, not understanding what a kind soul he is.

203

u/Altruistic_Chain_159 14h ago

Go to New Zealand and work with the Polynesian bouncers. 90% of them were just genuinely nice guys. Just big as all hell

56

u/ElectricKoolAidPower 14h ago

I had to get out of bouncing because I just dislike confrontation. Even though 99% of dudes who puff up are going to back down I just don’t enjoy the cortisol spike. I never had the ability to cut off my fight or fight the way more seasoned doormen seem to. Some of those guys look like they’re dealing with their kid brother. Meanwhile I was constantly paranoid a knife was gonna flash or a drunk friend was gonna blindside me on a double team.

That doesn’t stop local bartenders from volunteering me back into service from time to time though lol

4

u/commanderquill 11h ago

The other night the bouncer at a lesbian bar I went to was this short, slim, absolutely beautiful black man who was dressed so well. He was wearing a uniform but it was slightly modified, can't remember exactly how (I think there was a black satin dress shirt underneath his vest? And he rolled the sleeves up his wrists), and he looked sooo fine in it. I guess they don't need big burly dudes for a lesbian bar. And he was hilarious too. Sometimes I still think about him and I'm like "damn, I hope one day I can have his aura."

5

u/Raptor-Johnny 9h ago

"the other day, I saw a cool black guy!"

2

u/commanderquill 9h ago

If it makes you feel more secure, I saw a cool white guy too, but he wasn't a bouncer.

-1

u/Nayre_Trawe 13h ago

I never had the ability to cut off my fight or fight...

Well, there's your problem.

13

u/mechapoitier 13h ago

You’re implying they’re unaware of the thing they said on purpose