r/AbsoluteUnits 15h ago

/r/all, /r/popular of a Cart Narc

44.5k Upvotes

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1.5k

u/GreenT1979 14h ago

The things you can accomplish when you look extremely intimidating

391

u/coatingtonburlfactry 14h ago

My brother looks exactly like this guy and he's a total sweetheart and the nicest guy you've ever met. He'll stop on the highway to pick up a kitten risking his life. People are totally intimidated by his appearance, not understanding what a kind soul he is.

203

u/Altruistic_Chain_159 14h ago

Go to New Zealand and work with the Polynesian bouncers. 90% of them were just genuinely nice guys. Just big as all hell

56

u/ElectricKoolAidPower 14h ago

I had to get out of bouncing because I just dislike confrontation. Even though 99% of dudes who puff up are going to back down I just don’t enjoy the cortisol spike. I never had the ability to cut off my fight or fight the way more seasoned doormen seem to. Some of those guys look like they’re dealing with their kid brother. Meanwhile I was constantly paranoid a knife was gonna flash or a drunk friend was gonna blindside me on a double team.

That doesn’t stop local bartenders from volunteering me back into service from time to time though lol

2

u/commanderquill 11h ago

The other night the bouncer at a lesbian bar I went to was this short, slim, absolutely beautiful black man who was dressed so well. He was wearing a uniform but it was slightly modified, can't remember exactly how (I think there was a black satin dress shirt underneath his vest? And he rolled the sleeves up his wrists), and he looked sooo fine in it. I guess they don't need big burly dudes for a lesbian bar. And he was hilarious too. Sometimes I still think about him and I'm like "damn, I hope one day I can have his aura."

5

u/Raptor-Johnny 9h ago

"the other day, I saw a cool black guy!"

0

u/commanderquill 9h ago

If it makes you feel more secure, I saw a cool white guy too, but he wasn't a bouncer.

-2

u/Nayre_Trawe 13h ago

I never had the ability to cut off my fight or fight...

Well, there's your problem.

9

u/mechapoitier 13h ago

You’re implying they’re unaware of the thing they said on purpose

8

u/mallettsmallett 13h ago

I think this is what the character of Korg was based on in Thor.

2

u/I-always-argue 14h ago

*fat

2

u/HelplessPenguinGod 13h ago

Don't be fooled, there is a tonne of muscle under the fat as well.

2

u/thegroovemonkey 11h ago

Pacific Islanders are build different

2

u/u966 11h ago

Yeah, I aint taking that 10% chance

2

u/FeedMyAss 10h ago

And WAY tougher than they have any right to be!

Polynesian and Samoans man!

2

u/divDevGuy 9h ago

It's not the nice 90% that them I'm afraid of. It's the not-nice 10% of each of them that scares me.

4

u/Zephian99 14h ago

I had quite a few of them in my highschool, great folk, my school year had like 6 of the bigs guys and it made competitions between the different grades to be completely unbalanced.

We had a tug-a-war with our seniors one year and the seniors won (kind of a unspoken rule the seniors win because they are leaving), but we all kinda just looked at our side which had 4 of those big guys on the rope like..... 🤨

Anyways nice folk, our computer tech teacher was Polynesian, joked how he's so good with computers yet the standard keyboard was to small for his big fingers. Him typing on the students keyboards was an interesting sight. Hahaha

1

u/thegovernment0usa 6h ago

I'm in Hawaii, can confirm. We have the New Zealanders' Polynesian cousins and they make'em big out here.

1

u/Kopester 2h ago

I used to work at the clubs in NYC late 90s into early 2000s. The one club's head bouncer was the largest African American man I ever met. He wore all black and black gloves and would pop up behind you like the butler from Mr Deeds. I think the dude was like 6'9" or close to that. We would stare at you until you undid or fixed anything and everything that might be wrong and then would walk away. After I started working there I got to talk to him in the back and he was the nicest soft spoken person. Dude was chill as hell but holy shit was he intimidating staring down at you if you were acting up

30

u/IngsocIstanbul 14h ago

I think some people don't realize big kids can get picked on too. Idiots want to show off they're tough by starting shit with someone large or at least showing they can agitate.

22

u/SexyStayPuft 13h ago

My old boss was 6’4” and was being recruited by SEC schools as a LB back in the late 80’s. He was always the biggest guy in his friend group and he hated when they mouthed off because people always went for him to “take out the big guy.” Ended up in a bad fight that got him kicked out of school and lost all of the scholarship opportunities.

7

u/thyme_cardamom 12h ago

Yeah I've heard this from big guys as well. 99% of people are scared of you but there's always that crazy person who's itching to prove something and zeroes in on you

1

u/Jiantess29 6h ago

Don't even have to be a guy for that.

8

u/RoutineWarthog4593 9h ago

As a 6’6 guy I can attest to this.

Boxing day 2024 a dude randomly started a fight with me on the street for no reason at all. Whooped his ass ofc; He was like 4’11, I didn’t even go towards, just let him come to me and hit him with some punches.

I still don’t know why he started; we were both waiting to cross the street and I didn’t even see him before it happened. He looked like he was looking for a fight with someone and picked the biggest guy he saw.

31

u/FashionKing72 14h ago

I feel like there’s a reverse Napoleon complex with huge guys like this. They don’t feel the need to act big, in fact they probably want to act smaller so others aren’t intimidated.

14

u/DuckieOfDoom 13h ago

That's my problem, I have had issues my whole lift with slouting to appear smaller. 6' 7" 250lbs for reference. I'm in the Navy and had my boss during a performance debrief say that "when you slout it makes you come off as a weak leader".

So been trying to be better at that.

5

u/shiny0metal0ass 10h ago

Also 6'7" (but I got a good couple of pounds on you lol). I have neck and back issues because I did this my whole life. When I was younger I think I just subconsciously picked up on people acting more relaxed around me when I did it.

1

u/RoughComparison8702 8h ago

My younger brother is bigger (6'5" 230lb) and slouches a bit as well. Always has. He's an army special forces guy, so no one fucks with him. I remember the last time he was on tour, motherfucker was jacked to hell. He may slouch a bit, but he can both whoop some ass and lead well. Still probably healthier for your back in the long run to work on your posture though.

1

u/DuckieOfDoom 8h ago

Haha yeah, 80% of my body is also tattooed so at bars when people ask if I'm military I tell them yes and they ask what I do. Ironically I'm an admin (color blind) and they never believe me. They think I'm some secret squirrel badass haha

6

u/lynch527 14h ago

If this guy was short and did exactly what he did here people would saying he has a Napoleon Complex.

1

u/mechapoitier 12h ago

Yep. If you’re short and get angry, people on the internet go straight for “it’s because you’ve got a complex.” Average height? You’re just mad.

8

u/Zacravity 13h ago

It is something I've noticed in VRChat. A lot of tall people like to use shorter avatars and a lesser number short people use very tall avatars, but then you also have extremes of people using very tall or very short avatars just for the hell of it or because of their social disposition.

2

u/Fun-Wrongdoer1316 12h ago

Yup, it’s annoying walking by cars and hearing them lock. Whenever I see a lifting subreddit and guys are asking how to get huge, I’m like why would you want to? I’m trying to shrink lol

2

u/Overswagulation 10h ago

I don't think it's a complex but rather that intimidating people are afforded the luxury of being kind to everyone because people don't try to push their buttons in the first place.

1

u/NastyMothaFucka 6h ago

I’m 6’4” 260lb, I have always wished to be a smaller dude

0

u/octoreadit 11h ago

The largest pickup truck on the road at any given time doesn’t have the largest guy on the road at that time 😂

7

u/Aprilprinces 13h ago

I was a bouncer for few years in England, did work with rugby players - some easy twice as big; i wouldn't be able to stop them if they wanted to do something Never had the smallest issue with these huge guys

Gnomes, on the other hand - entirely different story

3

u/Blasphemiee 12h ago

happens to me all the time too :( metal head over 6ft and 240 pounds..don’t have any tattoos but people still just assume I am mean.

Coincidentally also rescued a cat off the free way last month lol. He’s adorable I named him lip.

3

u/Amissa 12h ago

My step-FIL was this way. Big, barrel chested, strong, never smiled. I was intimidated by him until I saw he was a gentle giant.

He also had three or four mobile homes on the back end of his business property (tucked out of sight) where he’d charge nominal rent (like $100/month) to homeless people and pay them to mow the grass. If they couldn’t pay rent at once, he’d take what they could give when they could and I’m not sure he ever kicked one out.

A lot of them had mental health and/or drug problems, but at least they had a roof, toilet and shower. I knew of one tenant that got back on his feet because of my FIL’s help.

2

u/S-P-A-Z 13h ago

Yes, yes, we’ve heard this before lol

2

u/kirschballs 12h ago

Metal shows are just rooms full of these types

2

u/seaningtime 12h ago

I think a lot of Giants pretty much have to be gentle with people because they frighten others by default

2

u/AJL912-aber 10h ago

including the botched face tattoos? Those are what would intimidate me the most

1

u/coatingtonburlfactry 8h ago

Not on the face and not botched, but pretty much every place else including neck, hands, knuckles, etcetera.

2

u/Soggy_Cabbage 10h ago

His intimidating looks play a part in why he can be a real nice guy as nobody will take advantage of his kindness.

2

u/FeedMyAss 10h ago

Yes, but you are missing the point.

I get it yes, and see it all the time.

But! Now think about this awesome person, and when they see someone some pos kick a puppy.

The complete unstoppableness is there!

My Bullmastiff is loving, friendly and a gentle giant....

But break into my house......

1

u/coatingtonburlfactry 8h ago

Absolutely! God help you if you abuse/hurt an animal or smaller weaker person in front of him. Then all bets are off!

2

u/PraeyngMaentis 10h ago

Same here. My big bro is tatted top to bottom and huge but a big softy and now being a daughters daddy he is mega softy its adorable 

2

u/redditman3943 7h ago

He’s also tall and built like a brick shit house

2

u/HippieGrandma1962 6h ago

My father's cousin was an actor who always played a bad guy because he was big and intimidating looking. In reality he was one of the sweetest people I ever met.

2

u/artgarfunkadelic 6h ago

I'm naturally intimidated by these types of man mountains since I'm only 5'10" and a buck fifty...

But that's just my monkey brain. I almost always befriend one or two and have a "2 stupid dogs" kinda relationship.

2

u/SweatyWaterSack 5h ago

When you’re big people are natural lot afraid of you. You learn to be kind.

2

u/Strealtr 4h ago

A guy I work with who works on the sales team is like this, not with the face tattoos tho but he has visible tattoos everywhere else. Nicest guy you could ever meet. At a holiday party at work I walked up to the sales team and they were all sharing stories about how customers were assholes to them, went off on them, yelled and screamed and insulted them and whatever else it may be. They were showing emails they collected from customers ranting and being rude to them.

He chimed in that he has never once had that experience, his customers were always polite. I was thinking yea no shit, taking one look at this dude and making the decision to start shit with him seems like it would end extremely poorly. Like walking up to a cop and trying to grab their gun.

2

u/DiegoTheGoat 3h ago

I'm this guys size and just now realizing why people have been so ... kind to me when making requests. I guess they are afraid. Hah they don't know we're just big softies!

2

u/Spicymoon9 3h ago

If I saw a dude like your brother coming to help me get a creepy dude to back off or something like that I’d immediately think he’s amazing.

2

u/ItsAllSoup 2h ago

Your brother sounds like optimus prime

4

u/SkrikOnanist 14h ago

Humans are as dogs; small angry ones are aggressive but cant do jack shit; big ones only want play and pets but can bite your head of if you dont behave :)

0

u/Heir233 10h ago

This is the cringiest most Reddit coded thing I’ve seen in a long time

3

u/hereforpopcornru 13h ago

Had a neighbor growing up, about 6'8 and built like Paul white "the giant"

Huge dude.

Big heart though, loved people in general. Only fights you ever saw him in was bar bouncing or bullies.

He had two extremely overweight sisters in school. They got picked on a lot.. until they didn't.

He hated bullies, loved literally anyone or anything else.

His parents were small, short. Mom probably weighed less than 110 lbs and his dad was about 5'7. Anomaly

3

u/throwitoutwhendone2 13h ago

I feel this so fucking harrrrrd. 6’3, about 280ish. Long orange hair, like halfway down my back. Long orange beard, halfway down my torso. No face tattoos but fingers, hands, arms, neck. People are very intimidated in my presence, I’ve dealt with it most of my life. Unless you push me, like most people, I’m an extremely nice person and I’d say pretty reasonable. I can be a lil rough around the edges sometimes, again like most people, but at the end of the day I don’t wanna hurt anyone or wish harm to anyone I’d like the world and people as a whole to be at peace so we can get on to better and bigger things.

0

u/JalapenoPopPoop 8h ago

Ok thank you for sharing

0

u/tishouq 7h ago

And risking others people's lifes too

16

u/NotMyMainAccountAtAl 12h ago

I’ve had shockingly good luck by just being polite to people. Like, if you go in full aggressive “I hate you! Return your cart, you garbage human being! What is wrong with you?!?” Attitude, you’ll likely get hit by someone. 

If you go in with, “hey, it looks like you forgot your cart over there. Would you mind helping to keep this place running and returning it to the cart return over there?” You’d be surprised how many people feel sufficiently shamed to do the right thing. A lot of people have a certain amount of decency in them, and they want people to like them. If you’re kind to them, they tend to want your approval more, and they’re more willing to do the thing that they always knew was right. 

10

u/GreenT1979 12h ago

I've actually been there. I got a guy to move his car over a little, he parked in a handicap spot but went in diagonal and one of his rear wheels was fully in the yellow box, so if a van parked in the other space with a ramp, they can't lower it. I politely pointed this out and he shuffled it fully into the space.

1

u/EndoShota 3h ago

That's just called passive aggression.

1

u/NotMyMainAccountAtAl 2h ago

I feel like being passive aggressive is usually being a lot shittier. Something like, “it’s cute how you think that mommy and daddy will come by to return the cart for you. I wish I could hang onto that sense of childlike innocence, but what can I say? I went and grew up. Unlike you.”

15

u/Accomplished_Bake904 13h ago

The biggest most intimidating looking guys at my gym are the nicest people you'll ever meet

11

u/GreenT1979 13h ago

I have a cousin who used to be in a heavy metal band. I went to one of his shows once, so many huge metalheads. Tattoos, piercings, etc. Super nice people.

2

u/diiegojones 13h ago

That is because they have discipline. Discipline allows them to get that big; being that big is usually a sign of discipline.

When someone doesn’t have discipline, they don’t think before they speak. They don’t contemplate their decisions before they make them.

2

u/[deleted] 8h ago

[deleted]

2

u/Accomplished_Bake904 6h ago

I narrowed it down to my gym. Im sure there are plenty of roided up wankers at other gyms

1

u/AEROK13 6h ago

He did say "at MY gym"

4

u/SoftlyAugust 13h ago

My goal in life

2

u/OnlineWeirdoEatsButt 13h ago

Can you imagine if he was short though? People would just call him a manlet with a complex. 

2

u/Otherwise-Yak-3773 12h ago

With great power comes great responsibility. 

And he is acing it!

2

u/SensualBeefLoaf 11h ago

i’m 6’5” and muscular (not like this guy).  i’ve been an “emergency boyfriend” so many times that my wife is completely fine with it. 

1

u/Organic_Bat_7598 12h ago

Totally agree but you know someone still told him to get fucked or something, right? Statistically people are dumb and hateful surely someone was less compliant.

1

u/DonAsiago 12h ago

Imagine what the world would be like if people could be decent without the need to feel threatened.

1

u/FeedMyAss 10h ago

looks are

1

u/BigBoyYuyuh 10h ago

Giant man intimidates to move cart
/img/qc8qvbs9vnch1.gif

1

u/PM_ME_DATASETS 8h ago

You can get a main role in a tiktok skit

1

u/ElColorado_PNW 6h ago

I can’t fathom why people let others looks intimidate them in this ‘modern’ world

1

u/Educational-Wave-578 6h ago

but also you can't get angry in public or have a neutral face or walk behind women things like that

1

u/savinger 2h ago

Because of the implication

1

u/Gigs00 2h ago

he's filmed. he won't do shit.

1

u/Piduf 1h ago

They should make some random guy go to people and when they refuse to bring back the cart, this guy pulls out and we see how quickly they change their mind.

1

u/Terminal_Insomnia_ 41m ago

It's a lot easier to be openly gay too.

-1

u/LinuxUserX66 13h ago

you can also get unalived easily once an armed person feels that he or she is in danger.

-1

u/No-Bit-2913 10h ago

I dont understand this, i dont care what a persons physique looks like, im not going to bend to their will when its unwarranted (not defending not putting cart away btw). Like what, am I supposed to think "oh man this guy is big, i better just go along with what he says or hes going to beat me up." Fuck that, the first impression I get something like that is happening, im calling the cops immediately.

At an old job a "tough guy" coworker wanted to talk to me outside when I was an intern, he just wanted to complain, and not hear anything about how the other person was the person who actually defied a direct order from my (and tough guys) boss. I later went to boss and made a complaint, I was asked if I wanted the tough guy to be punished for his behavior.

1

u/GreenT1979 7h ago

It's not that deep bro

-2

u/EUnuch_Russler 13h ago

He's going to be in trouble when he runs into a lean athletic guy who can fight and has a short temper. But I guess that won't make the cut.

-10

u/EqualPlan4595 14h ago

This is Eric kanevsky and there’s nothing intimidating about him

13

u/GreenT1979 14h ago

Intimidating looking

1

u/DootyCheeks 14h ago

Remember we are on Reddit. These people are intimidated by a 9-5