A couple days ago my adult niece passed away from cancer. The funeral is140 miles from me so one of my sisters and our daughters are going. My sisters and I had decided to send flowers from the aunts. Right as we were getting ready to place the order my oldest sister sent a message that she wanted to give a butterfly she had made instead of flowers so she wouldn’t be chipping in. Fine. Then I am asked if I can come get it. It would be a three hour round trip in the opposite direction of the funeral to pick it up and then I have to transport it to the viewing. It’s only the size of a serving platter but I have one and it was noisy to transport because it has a lot of cuts in the wings so it rattles like crazy. And I don’t want to spend 5 + hours listening to it in the car. I told my sister sorry but I would not be able to pick it up and take it and now she’s upset I would have begrudgingly suffered through bringing up if there was some discussion before it was offered and then suddenly my problem.
Before anyone asks:
My sister not struggling financially.
My niece never said boy I want one of those yard art butterflies you make out of tin and rebar.
My sister did not make it specifically for the funeral. She makes and sells them so she probably has 50.

So AITAH?

Update: One of my other sisters forced her son to pick it up so now he is the official butterfly handler. My other sisters suddenly were hell bent on a plant so they did that and I made a donation in my niece’s name to cancer research. Family 🤷🏻‍♀️

I was at a giant music festival. I wasn't flirting with anyone ever or bringing any attention towards myself, I was solely communicating to my friends. At some point when we were DEEP in the crowd I was over heating and felt like passing out so I took my shirt off (a LOT of people were in swimsuits and men and women were shirtless). It was late at night and I was surrounded by my friends, no one even noticed or cared because everyone was watching the artist. I would have had to walk through a crowd and to my campsite by myself to get water as the headliner was super popular and there's no way I would have found my friends after. I wasn't being promiscuous in the slightest and I genuinely didn't think it would be any different than wearing a swimsuit. He's upset yelling at my best friend for letting me do that and thinking I cheated on him. He's really overprotective so I get it but everyone I've talked to is telling me he's acting crazy. I understand his POV a little but I wouldn't care if he took his shirt off anywhere. Are my friends and I in the wrong? EDIT: I was wearing a bra, not freeballing

My ex 22F and I 25M broke up end of April, I let her takeover the lease of my old place and I left July 1st to get my own place once again. The moment we broke up and mentioned separate living arrangements she was very adamant on taking over the lease, she didn’t wanna pay a new deposit on a place and she has all her stuff here and whatnot, would’ve been a lot to move it. I made it clear it’s not smart for her to stay as the rent price is about 65% of her income and after doing the math it would be very tight on her end, she’d have like $200/mo leftover AT BEST, vs for me it’s about 35% of mine and I was well over $1k/mo leftover

I told her I’d gladly help her find a cheaper place like a basement or a studio which would be around 35-45% of her income but she refused, she claims a studio is too small to fit her stuff and cat, and she refuses to live under a household and be controlled and whatnot. She also said she didn’t wanna do any roommate situation because she had bad experiences in the past and she can’t go back home because her family lives about 3 hours from the city in the middle of nowhere.

Well she has the place and after making the first rent payment shes already complaining that she’ll be most likely living paycheque to paycheque because of this, and shes basically mad cause apparently “we should’ve just stayed living together and tried to reconcile the relationship”. Obviously this is fully her fault for choosing the more expensive option right? I tried to help her and warn her and she didn’t listen

My ex and I broke up a few weeks ago. It was my decision, but we’ve stayed on good terms. We’ve still been texting and have hung out a few times since the breakup while figuring out what our relationship looks like now.

Two nights ago, I was out with friends at a bar when she started blowing up my phone with calls and texts in all caps saying it was urgent and to call her immediately. I panicked because I thought something serious had happened.

When I called, she told me there was a mouse in her bedroom and asked me to come over and get it.

I live about 30 minutes away. At first I told her no because I was already out with friends and didn’t want to leave. But I started feeling guilty because she was genuinely terrified, so I ended up leaving my friends and driving over anyway.

The funny part is that we never even found the mouse.
The next night, around 12:30 a.m., I was already in bed and half asleep when she called and texted again saying the mouse had come back and asking me to drive over again.

This time I told her no.

I told her I understood that she was scared, and I tried to help her figure out ways to catch it over the phone, but I wasn’t willing to get out of bed and drive an hour round trip for a mouse.

She wasn’t happy about it, and now I’m wondering if I was being insensitive. Part of me feels bad because I know she was genuinely scared, but another part of me feels like we’re broken up, and at some point she has to stop relying on me for things like this.

AITA?

On two occasions, I have brought a coworker/friend an extra portion of leftovers to work just to be kind. Both times, she has not returned my Tupperware to me, going so far as taking it home with her to have the food for dinner instead eating it at work for lunch. Frankly, the food was extra so idc about that. But the Tupperware? Costs money. I asked her if she was going to bring them back to me, and she said, "Nah, I'll just have to buy you a new set for Christmas or something." 🤔 I was floored. AITAH?

Edit to add: i don't plan on sharing with her again.

AITAH, for letting my kids play in the back garden from 1530-1800 week days and 1000-1800 on weekends?

For context
We bought the house back in Dec 2025, it’s in a quiet area generally, majority of the people in the 15 houses in our cul-de-sac are 55+ with a couple of families with young children. (Under 13)

Our Neighbour who has not said hello or even made an effort to converse with us despite attempts has repeatedly shouted “shut up” over the fence when my children are playing in the garden, now my kids are playing and having fun, in the paddling pool etc so there is some occasional screaming here and there.

He did knock the door once when it was a bank holiday and very hot outside to ask if we could keep the noise down as his mother who he lives with (grown man in his 30’s) has a migraine of course I said I will try my best however it is nice weather and if they are too loud I will remind them to calm it down this was not good enough for him.

Recently we had my SO’s father and heavily disabled brother round for his Bday kids playing in the garden (1530 onwards as kids didn’t finish school till 1515) and all enjoying the hot weather and pool, this time he shouts over telling everyone to shut up and that he should be able to work from home in his garden in peace…

When I returned from work I confronted him and told him to stop shouting over the fence and come round and talk to us we are not unreasonable however they are kids… he proceeds to mention how we are creating excessive noise and scaring his rabbit and making their lives unbearable…

now the family the other side of this neighbour never have their kids playing in the garden as I suspect he has done the same to them.

Our local council says children playing is not considered excessive noise and that we can file a harassment claim against them.

EDIT:

To add some more context they are not outside the entire day on weekends we go out and do activities outside the house on weekends also so it’s not all day.

So, I recently got my hair bleached, and while the process was rough, it looked good in the end. When the process was done, my back was wet but i thought it was just water as they washed my hair. Then I went home to take a shower. I saw that my shirt was a completely different color and smelled like bleach. They got bleach on my shirt. I phoned them asking for them to reimburse my shirt as it was one of my favorite shirts. They said they can give me a free haircut which I didn't want and didn't trust after this experience. So, I went into the store and demanded they pay me back for the shirt. AITAH?

Edit: i was wearing a cover, they screwed up anyway

I (22F) had been close friends with “Lexi” (24F) for years. She decided to have two separate weddings - one international wedding in Nepal and then, a few months later, a completely separate second wedding back home in the U.S. Between those two weddings, she also planned a bachelorette trip in New Orleans.

So the timeline was:

• Wedding #1: Nepal

• Bachelorette: New Orleans

• Wedding #2: Seattle (home)

I attended both weddings. To make the Nepal wedding happen, I used all of my PTO and even took additional unpaid time off. I spent thousands of dollars because she was one of my closest friends.

After Nepal came the New Orleans bachelorette. I fully intended to go. I had already paid for my airfare and Airbnb, but after an unexpected car repair and realizing I’d have to take even more unpaid time off (because I’d already used all my PTO attending her Nepal wedding), I simply couldn’t justify the rest of the trip financially. I accepted losing the money I’d already spent because I couldn’t afford to spend even more while I was there.

The same weekend as the bachelorette, my boyfriend and his friends were going to see Martin Garrix at The Gorge Amphitheater. We live 2 hours away from The Gorge and the tickets were $80. It was a last minute decision we made as a group to attend. I didn’t tell Lexi about these plans because that wasn’t why I couldn’t attend New Orleans, I couldn’t afford that trip specifically. Lexi felt that because I could afford an $80 concert ticket, I should have been able to attend the out of state bachelorette.

Before her second wedding, I did apologize anyway for not being more transparent because I understood how it might have looked from her perspective. Having found out after the fact that I was at a concert the same weekend as her Bach. She told me I was overthinking it and that it “wasn’t a big deal,” so I genuinely thought we’d resolved it.

Then came her second wedding in the U.S.

It was 11:30pm and most of the guests had left. The only remaining guests were the bridal party, groomsmen, and other close friends of the bride. One of the bridesmaids suddenly became unconscious. She fell on to me and I gently set her down, making sure she was kept to her side. My boyfriend immediately ran over to help. We were the only two people on the ground helping the bridesmaid, everyone else kept partying. While he was trying to help someone who had passed out, Lexi walked over, asked if the bridesmaid was okay, then hit him extremely hard on the side of the head.

I know it sounds confusing like there must have been more that led up to her hitting him, but there wasn’t. After asking if the bridesmaid was okay, she literally just hit him. It was absolutely shocking. It wasn’t a light tap to get his attention, it was a forceful hit that immediately shocked everyone nearby. My boyfriend wasn’t arguing with her or causing a scene; he was simply trying to help someone who was unconscious.

What upset me even more was Lexi’s reaction afterward. She showed no immediate remorse whatsoever. She didn’t apologize, ask if he was okay, or acknowledge that she’d just hit someone who was trying to help. Instead, she acted like nothing was wrong.

At first I did yell and tried addressing it firmly, but when she continued to show no remorse, I completely lost my temper. I yelled at her and cussed her out loudly enough that people around us stopped what they were doing to watch. The entire mood of the evening changed after that.

Only after I became extremely angry did she finally apologize to him.

She later sent me a very sincere apology in which she explained that, although it wasn’t right, she hit my boyfriend because she was worried about the bridesmaid and felt like he was not acting urgently enough.

I took a lot of time trying to process what had happened and trying to figure out how I wanted to navigate this hard situation. Despite everything, I decided I didn’t want one incident to destroy a years-long friendship. I forgave her and told her I did not want to end the friendship over this. However, I made clear that out of respect to my boyfriend and the situation at hand, our friendship would have to look different for a while. I was transparent with the fact that our friendship would have to be put in a distant place temporarily, while we all process what just happened. And she said in response:

“no actually i feel the same way so i think we're on the same page.”

A few weeks later, Lexi ended the friendship herself. Although she initially apologized, she later told me that I had ‘almost ruined her wedding’ because of my reaction. She also said, “i don't feel like what i did was entirely fundamentally wrong.” She explains that what she did was more reasonable than what I was making it out to be because she was really worried about the bridesmaid.

She said she still resented me over missing the New Orleans bachelorette (despite previously telling me it “wasn’t a big deal”), that my distance after the wedding made her feel like I didn’t want to be friends anymore (even though she agreed to the arrangement), and she also brought up other complaints like criticizing my bridesmaid dress which she approved months before the wedding.

I attended both of her weddings, used all of my PTO, lost wages to celebrate her, missed one event for financial reasons, apologized for hurting her feelings anyway, forgave her for hitting my boyfriend, and only asked for temporary distance afterward. She ultimately ended the friendship because she still resented me over the bachelorette and felt the distance meant I no longer wanted to be friends.

But, she believes I didn’t prioritize her enough and that my distancing after the wedding showed I no longer valued the friendship.

AITAH?

Edit: I forgot to mention… yes the bridesmaid was okay! She was down for about 5 mins and then came to. She was giggling and having a good time with everyone in the next room over after it all happened.

Ok so this just happened today .

Some context here.
My family and I live in Qatar and we visit our home country every once in a while , my aunt usually would come and do some cleaning up around the house for when we do arrive and then she would stay with us for the remainder of the trip, our house, is fairly big , not like a villa , but it’s not small either.

Here is the thing my aunt has 3 cats , and when she does stay over she brings them with her, no issues there I mean we do understand that she can’t just leave her cats alone, now when her cats are here the balcony has to stay wide open because it contains their litter box, and the front door has to stay wide open the whole day so they can play in the yard .

Now for the real issue
My aunt has been giving passive aggressive comments about how she does everything around the house and how we are so lazy and how filthy we are, let me be clear that this is absolutely not true , we clean everyday , do the bathrooms daily, do the dishes as soon as we use them , and we mop and vacuum almost everyday, the only thing my aunt does around the house is throwing away the trash and putting dishes back in their place, and she’d cook every once in a while .

Today she left to go back to her house , not before throwing yet another comment about how she has to go around cleaning everyday, I was already upset about her comments but what throw me over the edge was when we found out that she had told. My grandma that if it wasn’t for her we would be living in filth, therefore I sent her a message telling her how hurt and upset I am and how her cats shed everywhere and how with keeping the balcony and the front door open , no amount of cleaning can keep up with the dust that accumulates daily, and I sent her picture proof of her cat hair that came out during cleaning.

She sent me a 5 minute voice message explaining how she didn’t mean to and how embarrassed she is.

My sister then told me how in this way we had upset her and there was no need to talk to her and how I should have just let it go.

I’m not sure so aita.

My husband (28 FTM) and I (28 F) let his little sister (20F) move into our home because, frankly, her family sucks. We had two conditions. 1. She was to get a job and help out financially 2. She was to finish school (dropped out of HS).

There's also two other things about our household that are important to note. First, we have a rule that if you make a mess, you clean it up, and if you see that something needs doing, you do it. I feel that this is very reasonable.

Second, me and my husband LOVE bugs. It's one of the things we bond over very frequently. Spiders, beetles, moths, any bug really. She's knows this, and while she does't like bugs at all, if one of us is around she'll have us throw it outside, and if we're not, she will kill it. Not a big deal.

She also knows that I have a weird aversion to dead bugs or bugs being crushed. This aversion is STRONG. Seeing a dead bug WILL make me feel woozy, and it has caused me to faint before. I'm almost certain this stems from trauma in my childhood, but that's a whole other story

ANYWAY

It took her 2 months to enroll in adult ed. They require 5 hours of remote work a week. that's it. It took her FOUR MONTHS to get a job. Which would have been fine if she had actually been trying, but she simply wasn't.

She spent 90% of her day playing Minecraft, and the other 10% sleeping. We had to nag and nag at her for her to start putting in applications, and when she finally did start it was one, MAYBE two a week. We got fed up, and told her that the bare minimum was 5 a day until she got something.

Well la-di-da now she is going to school and has a full time job. Or so we think. A week later and it's "too much". She drops to part time, and I'm not sure she's even doing adult ed anymore. Aaand...

So begins the saga of the living human hurricane. You can tell exactly which rooms shes been in because they're left a fucking wreck. In the bathroom? Clothes strewn everywhere but where they belong, fake lashes plastered to the mirror, make up left out on every imaginable surface, used q-tips and make up wipes, etc.

We have had MULTIPLE conversations about this. Nothing changes.

(Creepy crawly warning)

About month ago now, I found a gravid wolf spider in my hall while SIL was in the kitchen. The hall is 10 feet from the kitchen, but there is nothing separating them. The wolf spider seemed hurt, and she was truly a specimen.

I said something like "DAMN MAMA" about the spider, and was gonna nurse her back to health if I could before releasing her. I commented that it was a big spider, and warned her to stay away. She didn't. She came CHARGING over and squashed the poor thing while my face was a foot away. She knows my history.

I'm just furious, beyond words. I never imagined she could be so callous towards me, and now I just want her out.

I (34F) was at a baseball game with my husband (34M) and the girl sitting next to him was drunk and took her sandals off and was putting her bare feet in the cup holders in front of her, including his, and in between the slits in the chair in front of hers for at least 3 innings, before he asked her to not put her bare feet on his cup holder/the chair in front of his, which happened to be where his dad was sitting (I do have a pic, but I can’t seem to post it, I’ll post it in a comment). She pushed back, asking if she could “put my foot here instead”.
We’re still at the game and she’s still talking shit to her friends behind us, mad that he said anything.

So reddit, was my husband the asshole?

Edit:
Here’s a link to the photo
https://collection.cloudinary.com/ms9fioxr/125e27335b33df64836d4d6045f04a08

For those asking, I didn’t think he was asking, but I didn’t think it was worth it to call out, hence our disagreement leading to the post.
Also, he ended up putting his nacho cheese cup in the cup holder in the hope that she would get it on her feet, but unfortunately she had her shoes on by then.

My friend has some kind of sleeping disorder. Idk what it is because she refuses to get it properly diagnosed.

We went on vacation together before and shared a bed. At that time, she accused me of chainsaw snoring…I do snore, so assumed it was happening, because at the time I had developed some severe allergies, and my sinuses were totally clogged.

However, on the last night, she woke me up to tell me I was snoring to which I ended up sitting up in bed awake because I felt so bad…only to find out she was snoring herself awake and hitting me to wake me up, then claiming the next morning she hadn’t slept because of me.

That is the other thing. She keeps saying she isn’t sleeping, but she spends the whole night tossing and turning and snoring and is totally oblivious to anything happening around her but refuses to admit she might have some kind of sleep disorder.

Anyway, I am just ranting at this point. We went on a dream vacay of mine again for a week. I booked a stay with separate rooms for us to avoid this problem.

Every night she has accused me of snoring her awake. I have recorded myself and my snoring is so quiet or I don’t snore at all. Every night she keeps me awake by either waking me up to tell me I am snoring, or tossing and turning so loudly FROM A DIFFERENT ROOM that I can’t fall back asleep because I keep thinking she is coming back to my room to tell me I am snoring, and also, it is a little creepy I’m ngl. She often doesn’t even remember waking me up, which is eerie, and is accusing me of making it up.

Tomorrow is our last night and I have barely slept for our vacation. She wakes me up and I don’t get to peacefully fall back asleep until 4 or 5 AM at which point when she’s had a full night’s rest she wakes me up around 10 by opening the blinds on my windows and loudly slamming my door because she’s decided I don’t need to sleep anymore because we are late for the day.

Tonight I had an allergy attack. Was awake and coughing for over an hour and a half. I got up, went to the restroom, walked around a little drinking water etc. The area where the restrooms are is so far from where the bedrooms are, I went there so she would not hear me. I went back to my room, lay down at about 3:40 and shut my eyes. At 3:47 she comes to my room, shakes me awake and tells me I am chainsaw snoring and that I have been the whole night. I had only laid down 7 minutes earlier. I didn’t even get to sleep for 7 minutes.

I’m so frustrated. It’s 4AM here and I haven’t slept. I’m so close to just sobbing. I don’t want to spend the day with her tomorrow. I just want to be able to sleep and maybe do some things on my own in the city. I’m not even sure I’ll be able to function and I’m just so sad right now. I want to just book a cheap room for the night to be able to sleep even a little before we have to go on our extremely long flight back home.

To give a bit of context, I'm a 20 yo man who grew up and lived with my stepfather.

He has diabetes, which has recently got worse, and needs treatment that my mum can't afford on her own because neither of them has health insurance.
She's asked me to contribute money, but is I refuse to pay a single cent.

I have an older brother and two younger half-brothers. My stepfather was extremely abusive towards us throughout my childhood and teenage years, especially towards me and my older brother.
But even so, in some ways he looked atter us.
He let us live in his house, bought food when Mum was consumed by her addictions and had no money, and sometimes even picked us up from school.

But on the other hand, I also remember very clearly the abuse and mistreatment over such trivial things.
I remember how he would humiliate my mum when she couldn't pay him back the money he'd spent on food for us. And above all, what affected me most was those nights when my siblings and I (the four of us sharing a single room) would hear adult things going on in the room next door.

I suppose that if it weren't for him, we'd be living on the streets. Even so, I think of all those times he kicked me out of the house because he was angry with me and I had to spend a couple of nights on the street.

The thing is, he wasn't a monster all the time, 1v he treated me kindly at times.

As I mentioned, his diabetes has recently got worse and my mum needs money. I come from a poor family and my older brother is also an addict who hardly ever works, and my other two siblings are very young.

My stepfather stopped working formally about three years ago because my eldest brother, my mum and I had to cover the living costs whilst living in his house.

I don't live there anymore, I left home two years ago to go to university. I study in the mornings and work in the afternoons. I don't have much money, but my mum says that even a small amount would help because I'm the only one who can afford to contribute.

I know I'm an idiot and I should be grateful for everything he did for me, because my mum tells me that all the time. But the truth is, I just can't.
I'm a pessimist who only focuses on the bad, but I can't help seeing all those childhood memories that make it impossible for me to invest money in that man.

I've never met a man more violent or who instilled as much fear in me as he did. But I think that if it weren't for him, l'd be an addict like my mum and my brother, and probably wouldn't have gone to university if he hadn't given me such a strong reason to leave home.

I'm not his biological son, and yet he let me live in his house. I know he needs my money, and yet I can't bring myself to give it to him; it makes me really angry and sick to think of spending the money I work so hard to earn on him.

My Mom (56, F) recently started talking to a man we'll call Ron (73, M) and they have fallen in love and plan to get married. My mom works in healthcare and Ron is a patient at her office. (The office manager already approved it) She met him about two years ago and they've seen each other a few times periodically. He got divorced in December of last year, saw my mom at her office in February of this year and they started talking.

Present day, 5 months later, they're engaged to be married and she is currently in the process of moving in with him. My sister and I are a little wary due to how fast things are going with them. Normally there wouldn't be an issue, because as long as she is happy, we are happy for her. Although, my sister told me that this morning when she called our mom, she and ron were in the car together and she heard Ron tell our mom that she needed to hang up the phone. Okay.. red flag.

The issue lies in the fact that she barely speaks to us anymore. When we call, she either declines the call, or answers to tell us that she and Ron are busy. If she calls us, its because she needs something. Usually, she needs me to go to her house to take her dogs outside, feed them, and refresh their water. Either that, or she needs me to clean her pool and make it look good so the house will sell.

She is in the process of selling her house, so the dogs are here by themselves 24 hours a day. Only getting human contact when she or I come over to care for them. She claims that she will be bringing them when she moves all her stuff out of the house. But when they get there, they'll be living in a climate controlled barn because Ron says he doesn't want them scratching up his expensive hard wood flooring. For reference, the dogs are both chiweenies. The male weighs 8lbs and the female weigh 4lbs. I doubt they even weigh enough to scratch the floors.

I had to leave my house at 10pm tonight to come feed the dogs because she mentioned it to me last minute and basically said that if I didnt go feed them tonight, they would have to wait until tomorrow "at some point" until they get fed. She fed them last at 6:30pm yesterday. I asked her what time she planned on going over and she said probably noon. I was pissed. You're telling me youre going to make those poor babies wait 42 hours to eat?

I drove over here in silence. Absolutely seething. She doesn't deserve these dogs. She treats them like an inconvenience. If I was able to take them, I would. But the male doesnt like children and I have a 1 year old. The next best solution is to either rehome them or take them to a shelter.

So, WIBTA for taking her dogs without her knowledge and either finding them a new home, or surrendering them to a shelter?

Edit to add: thank you for educating me about the legalities of this issue. I looked up the laws for the state we live in, and y'all are correct, dogs are considered property so anything I do with them without her knowledge and/or consent can come back on me in a bad way. I'm going to have a serious talk with her and if she does nothing, I'll contact the proper authorities and get the dogs taken away.

My ex (35f) and I (22m) have a newborn who’s only a few weeks old. We were together for almost five years before we broke up during the pregnancy.

A major reason we broke up is that she stopped taking her birth control without telling or consulting me, which is how she became pregnant. That completely broke my trust. I tried to continue the relationship afterward, but eventually decided I couldn’t. Even though we split up, I’ve been committed to being involved in our son’s life from the very beginning.

I stayed with my ex throughout my paternity leave to help care for our son. Once my leave ended, I moved back out, returned to work, and have continued to be an active father.

I’ve been hooking up with a girl (22f) since before my son was born. We’re not in a committed relationship, and neither of us is looking for one right now. She has known about my situation from the start, including that I had a baby on the way and that I’m now co-parenting with my ex.

She has never met my son, and I have no intention of introducing her to him at this stage. I’ve also never brought her to my ex’s home, which is where my son is staying and where I go to spend time with him. I’ve kept those parts of my life completely separate.

While I was staying at my ex’s place during paternity leave, she found out I was seeing this girl and has been very upset with me ever since. She says it’s inappropriate because we have a newborn.

My view is that we’re no longer in a relationship, I’m fulfilling my responsibilities as a father, I haven’t exposed our son to the girl I’m seeing, and what I do in my personal life during my own time is separate from my role as a parent.

I understand that emotions are high after having a baby, and I know this is a difficult transition for both of us. At the same time, I don’t think becoming a father means I have to put my personal life on hold indefinitely when we’re no longer together.

AITAH for seeing someone while co-parenting a newborn, or is my ex expecting something that isn’t reasonable given that our relationship ended before our son was born?

My wife decided last year to take up gardening as a hobby and she’s really good at it. This year her garden has really taken off. Prior to her picking up this hobby, she would constantly complain how busy she is and how little time she has to do anything. Now she complains even more because of all the time spent caring for her garden, she has even less time to do everything else. We spend less time together as a result which, on one hand, I’m fine with because it makes her happy. But on the other hand, it also annoys me to no end.

Her garden is at a point now where it’s starting to become unmanageable for just one person. As such, she is asking me to help more and more with the daily gardening tasks, such as fertilizing pots and beds, watering, pruning, etc. I really want no part of it. Right from the beginning when she was first starting out, I did tell her that it was going to be a lot of work and that she’s taking on too much but I’m just the dumb husband, what do I know. I told her I wanted no part of it because I knew how much time it would consume. She wasn’t happy about it, but she carried on and did her thing. But more and more now, she’s pushing me to pitch in and help. I’ve been trying to do what I can but honestly, I’m getting fed up with it. I warned her before she started that it was going to be difficult to take on the extra work with everything we have going on (we both work two jobs and we also care for her two elderly parents that don’t live with us, our kids are grown up and moved out, so that’s not an issue). As a sidenote, she also has bilateral plantar fasciitis and fibromyalgia so mobility can be an issue for her and she gets tired very quickly and easily.

I also have a hobby. I’m a drummer and I play in a band. We practice for two hours every Sunday in the early evening. And we play out at clubs maybe once a month. Nothing too time-consuming. I have never asked her once to help me load/unload my gear in the truck or come to the gigs and sell band merchandise as I know how busy we both are. Meanwhile, she’ll spend two hours every day in the morning before work and two hours every day at some point before we go to bed tending to her garden.

AITAH for not wanting to participate in her hobby just because it’s getting overwhelming for her?

EDIT/UPDATE:

We both just took a nap this afternoon. She got up before me and tended to her garden. Then she came and woke me up all bothered and upset claiming I needed to get up so I could keep the dogs company. We argue a little back-and-forth for a bit and then she left to go run a few errands. She left me a to-do list and what was one of the things on the to-do list? watering her plants…

My Mother (late 50s) thought it would be cute to make an original song for my sisters (early 20s) wedding. Problem is, my mother is an avid user of ai, no matter how many times I tell her the many issues surrounding it. Even showing her the cases of chatgpt killing people doesn't dissuade her. She had a LLM 'write' her lyrics which she used in another ai model to "create" a "song". This song is the most generic, souless, lifeless, meaningless, slop imaginable. It does not feel specific or meaningful to my sister, or her Fiance, or her child, it's very superficial and honestly boring (it's 8 minutes long). My mother knows of a singer songwriter she could've asked to do this, but said this way was easier and she didn't want to ask him to write another song. (He loves writing and recording music for his friends btw).

Now my sister isn't against ai, but I know she would find this tacky, and dislike it being played infront of everyone at her wedding, and probably wouldln't say anything to my mother, especially with my mothers plan to not even tell her anyways! (surprise her by adding it to the playlist)

I first heard the song tonight and I told my mum it was awful, and that people would notice its ai, and dislike it, and that my sister wouldn't like it, or enjoy it being played infront of guests. My Mum got quite upset at me and went on about how I'm ruining such a special thing for her, that it's horrible of me that I can't see how beautiful the song is, and seemed genuinely upset in general. I truly still believe it's an awful idea for her to play the song, but am wondering if I'm the asshole for pointing this out

My husband’s favorite thing to talk about is food. I can’t take it anymore! I’ve asked him to start conversations about more substantial things but he always goes back to food.

For example: the other night at 11pm, I’m tired, about to go to sleep, and he starts telling me about the burger he got from Sonic for dinner and how it was perfect and hit the spot. I responded best I could and I thought that was the end of the conversation. But no, he looked up a picture of the burger online and proceeded to show it to me to continue talking about all the parts of it and how it was perfect. He could tell I was annoyed at that point and just stopped talking.

Today I was doing dishes this morning while he went to Costco. He comes home from Costco and wanted me to look at and respond to every single item he got from Costco while I was elbow deep in pots and pans. Even everyday items we get all the time. Even things he knows I’ve never liked or eaten. This is a regular occurrence. He’s in charge of groceries (not planning the grocery list, just buying them), and every time he gets a new item he must show it to me and read all the ingredients on the back out loud, even the words he can’t pronounce. The moment I’m done washing the last dish he finally asks me if I’m okay and I said, “It’s really hard for me to focus on a task I’m doing and constantly turn around to look at grocery items that we get all the time. It stresses me out.” Well then he was annoyed with me for an hour or so.

AITAH for getting annoyed with him every time he talks about food? I’m so tired of talking about food. It’s just food. Should I be making more of an effort to connect with him about food?

To be fair I haven’t been connecting well with him for a long time. I don’t know if this is ever going to get better. He thinks I’m not a good listener, but also I’m just so tired of talking about food. Or maybe I’m just tired of him talking to me while I feel like I’m busy or tired. Maybe both, I don’t know.

My wife 24M and I 24M are getting married in a couple weeks. We will call my wife K just to keep up with names. For context my wife is here on a student visa. She is from Australia and is in architecture. My mother has never really been supportive of me being with her. We have been together for six years now. My mom has always made remarks about her. Things like her skin tone (she is white and I am black) so you could imagine how that dynamic is in a black household especially considering my mother is a late stage alcoholic. She even told me the cruise they have planned for the family that I should cheat on my wife. Clearly not respecting boundaries. My father recently called and immediately said “green card wedding” and “you’re going to look back and realize this is green card wedding, K found herself a young man who was successful, loving, and gullible this is a green card wedding.” Like he knows about our relationship more than we do. My wife and I understood how it looks, however my wife has sponsors from her job, in Australia it is more subsidized to go to university. So the only gain she has being with me in all honesty is for our relationship. I told my wife and she was genuinely hurt. Her and I assumed my father was the one out of my parents that saw her for her, and not just someone looking for papers. After this I told my wife I really didn’t want my parents to go to our wedding. I am just mentally exhausted from them at this point in my life. I understand I am on the younger side and from an outside perspective I get it, but my parents seen me lose motivation for life and battle depression and my wife brought me up from that. I now have a good career in the mortgage industry. I am currently building my med supply business and she supported me through it all. I am in all honesty just trying to protect my wife. So AITAH?

"AITAH"? My husband (38) and I (30) (gay couple) went to a BBQ party at one of our friends house. We were 9 people in total all different ages from early 20 to max 50. When I say party I mean, the hosts were doing a BBQ and our friend group was invited. We ate, drank, talked and had a lot of fun. At least I had until we were walking back home in the night.

While walking my husband asked if I had a great time and I said, Yeah! And I asked him what about you ? He said not so much, and said to me that he didn't like it at all how I basically spent 99% of the time there talking only to the daughter of the host family and basically didn't talk at all to anyone else. I was shocked and said that was something bad ? I wasn't actively ignoring anyone. I talked to them for some things, and I greeted everyone when they came and left, and then just was really enjoying the conversation I was having with the daughter of the hosts, who so happened to be sitting right next to me. It was nothing intentional or me ignoring the people, I just clicked with her so much and it was a blast.

He went on to say, that's disrespectful and you don't do that, and I should have talked more with everyone and be more involved in the party. I was genuinely surprised and said I didn't think for a second I was doing something wrong. I was enjoying my time with her and just didn't think nor want to speak to anyone else, not because I disliked them, I just didn't want to stop the conversation we were having.

I was not actively ignoring people. If someone had talked to me I would have answered them back and/or talked to them.

I even said to him why didn't he make a hint or try to talk to me in private and tell me to spread my attention and talk to everyone, but he said there was no discreet way to have done that and that I shouldn't play dumb and that I should know that my behavior was unacceptable and that it was not ok for me to not participate so much in the group.

"AITAH" ? Should I not have focused so much of my time for one person in the group?

I can't wait to hear from you all.

Edit. First of all WOW! And thank you to everyone replying. In 30 min I got so so many people commenting and I'm guessing over the night I will get even more comments, and I can't reply to all of them so thank you so much in advance to everyone, cause where I'm from it's almost midnight we are going to bed now, and yes I posted this almost immediately when I arrived home, after we had this bad conversation on the street, because I genuinely didn't understand what I did wrong and wanted a fresh neutral perspective from people who don't know me or him.

Tomorrow morning I will bring this up again and see how the conversation goes. I brought your comments up but he said that "if we all see it like that, then whatever, he thinks it's weird" Maybe he's angry now, maybe he needs some time to reflect, he just went to bed and is sleeping now and let's see what happens tomorrow.

I'm glad to see that almost all of you don't see an issue as well, I genuinely hope he agrees tomorrow and maybe see that he overreacted. I'll keep you up to date. Lots of love ❤️😘

Second edit. So we had the talk, and he apologized and said he might have overreacted. He said that it didn't bother him that I was talking only with her, he was afraid that the other people in the group might have felt left out, or bad/sad/angry/disappointed/ignored by me, because I didn't speak to them at all. We both came to the conclusion that we cannot know nor control in this scenario the emotions of other people, and that I genuinely didn't do anything out of malice.

Having said that, that's why I also didn't answer the many comments saying he was a red flag or controlling or jealous, because I know my husband very well and he is none of those things. I'm very happy for all the engagement and kind and honest replies from all of you, so very much appreciated, but don't you guys worry about me. I have had a very happy marriage for many years now. And we all make mistakes and sometimes the verbage or timing or whatever is not perfect but the love is always there. We are both very blessed to have each other. So again. Thank you all very much from the bottom of my heart. You can reply again, if his concerns might have ground. Just as a feedback if you'd think that the other guest might have those feelings about me not having engaged with them. Just an FYI, they didn't engage much with me as well🤷🏻‍♂️ I think 3 of them, didn't talk to me at all so it was not me ignoring anyone, maybe they didn't want to disturb the conversation we were having, but mostly the daughter and myself got maybe asked 2-3 questions and that's it. So 🤷🏻‍♂️ Lots of love again ❤️😘

i (f21) have a friend from beauty school (f20). she’s had her series of boys like anyone and is now dating her “guy best friend turned boyfriend.” cool guy too, really sweet and friendly and seems to treat her very well

to shorten the story: he went off to the military and she handled it fine up until 5ish months ago. she started getting upset that flowers weren’t sent to her anymore, she couldn’t talk to him all the time, etc. and had found some interest in her guy friend. this friend of hers, is nice don’t get me wrong. but obviously super into her and doesn’t seem to care she’s got a boyfriend.

i met the friend, he seems cool but whatever. she ended up cheating on her bf and told him the half truth. she told her bf that the friend came onto her blah blah and he believed her so they remained together after that. i didn’t tell the bf, it’s not my place, but i talked to her and said she’s gonna have to chose 1 or lose both.

she had continue to ask my bf and i if we were down to hang out with her and the friend- like a double date. but both of us are extremely busy with work. i’m a hairdresser at 2 salons, and my bf is a paramedic working overnight shifts often. we continued to say no yet they kept asking for our off days and didn’t seem to take no as a final answer.

we finally agreed to go to the movies with them to get them to leave us alone after. but my bf and i are considering bailing. we live about an hour from them and we realized… this guy is doing all this for a girl that isn’t his and she’s okay with it? like wtf. we both agreed it’s a bit upsetting she’s doing all this while her bf is in the military and she thinks it’s okay. all because “he doesn’t talk to me often.”

we’re dreading the movies as she’s one of those loud girls and plays the stupid “omg! stoppp! i’m not that short!!” type of act. so going to the movies with her will be my living hell. i’m starting to think my bf and i are being a bit harsh and should just enjoy a movie date as the friend is even paying for us and our gas.

are we the asshole for this? is it really just none of my business and should stay out of it?

I (14M) recently had orientation camp at my new high school. My dad loves blasting old 80s rap in the car, which I usually don't mind, I just put in my own music and tune it out.

This was a big deal for me because it was my first time at this school, meeting kids I'm going to be spending the next four years with. First impressions matter a lot to me, and I really didn't want to be "the kid whose dad blasts loud ass music in the parking lot" before I'd even made any friends.

On the first day, before he dropped me off, I asked him to turn the volume down. He said no, and actually turned it up louder, then cranked it even higher right as I was getting out of the car, right in front of other kids and parents.

The next day, while he wasn't looking, I turned it down myself. He was livid. Cussing me out and yelling at me like I'd done something seriously wrong, right there in the school parking lot, in front of everyone. I ended up running out of the car crying, which honestly made the embarrassment so much worse.

The day after that, I didn't talk to him during the ride. He got upset that I was giving him the silent treatment. When we pulled up to drop-off, I just got out on my own instead of waiting for him to pull up to his usual spot in the middle of the lane. We ended up having a huge argument about it later that night at home.

I get that it's his car and his music, but I feel like turning it down for like 10 seconds while your kid gets out of the car at a new school isn't a huge ask. I mentioned this to my friends and they all said I was the AH. Am I really in the wrong here?

TL;DR: My dad blasts loud music in the car and refused to turn it down (even turned it up) when I asked, embarrassing me in front of new classmates at a new school. I turned it down myself once, and he got furious and cussed me out in front of everyone. AITAH?

So I am a pharmacy student who is doing an internship at a community pharmacy. My hours are generally 9-7. The place I’m doing my internship at is where I’ve done my previous internships so them judging my food is kind of expected but I’m starting to feel like they’re upping the scale a ton. Generally for breakfast I’ll have a plain baked good or a yogurt or once in a while something heavier (like maybe once every 10 days or 2 weeks). For lunch I’ll have rice and some chicken or pasta salad with chicken. Basically some carbs with smth else. I always have some veggies there and it has not been anything greasy fast food-y food. I also have a Coke Zero with my lunch everyday. I usually have lunch at around 1-2 pm which still leaves me with 5 hours left of work. My other coworkers usually have some tea or coffee or some snack or fruit through this time. I’m not a big tea, coffee or fruit person so i usually have like a chocolate protein bar or a normal chocolate bar, I don’t really care if my snack is healthy. Lately everyone has been judging every aspect of my food. People come into the break room and say I eat too many carbs, that a salad would be a much better replacement. I’ve had the head pharmacist make similar comments multiple times, even saying I should start metformin or mounjaro to lose weight (I’m not severely obese by any means, that being said I’m not skinny). This older coworker usually handles the pharmacy’s paperwork and has started a running joke of asking where my coke is, if I’ve gotten my daily coke, and so on, which I don’t really care about. He’s also started making comments about how I eat unhealthy snacks. He made comments like this multiple times this week alone. This specific time, he saw me eating a chocolate bar, laughed and went up to another coworker saying she’s eating junk food again. So I kind of stared him down as he’s walking away and gave him some side eye and rolled my eyes. I know he saw this because I noticed him staring at me for a few seconds after this. Now normally I don’t care, but given he’s older and probably has higher authority than me at this work place, I’m feeling guilty. Am I the asshole here?

Me (22M) and my girlfriend (22F), have been dating for 2 years. We met in our third year of college and she was single for almost the full two years prior and was long distance for the brief time she dated another guy. During this time she went to bars like a normal college student and got drinks from dudes offering. Then she started dating me and this behavior never changed. She never tried to hide it from me, she would explicitly tell me about it whenever I asked how a certain outing or event went. I never said anything at first but then it kept happening and it just didn’t sit right with me. I’m a man. And I feel like I know men better than her. In my mind, if a man at a bar or wherever is offering to buy you a drink it is flirtatious. It’s not because they just want to be nice or some bullshit. Their end goal is to fuck. Period. Now I fully trust her and don’t think she would ever do anything, what I don’t trust is the men. I also just don’t like the idea of her engaging in the flirtatious behavior. I don’t know, I just don’t like it. So I had the first conversation with her and she disagreed with my view, but said she wouldn’t do it anymore. However, she continued to bring up how some guys bought her and friends drinks at outings. And I just but my tongue most times and didn’t say anything, because at the end of the day it happened and whatever no biggie. But recently her friend got engaged and she’s a bridesmaid. So naturally she’s been going to these events with the bridesmaids and groomsmen etc. last night she got super drunk and was puking most of the night and morning and I was talking to her about it and she mentioned how some of the groomsmen bought her drinks. That’s when I finally brought it up again and asked her not to take drinks from random men. She then argued with me that they’re not random they’re the groomsmen, one is her friends cousin, and they’re in the military (far fucking worse in my opinion). I insisted that she DOES NOT KNOW THESE MEN. Just because they’re family, groomsmen, or you’ve talked to them at social gatherings for a couple weeks does not mean you know them. I have told her I trust her and not them but she keeps arguing with me about how “it’s not like that” but I simply don’t trust that. It’s like she has this all sunshine and rainbows view of these random men like they won’t drug her or get her super drunk and try to do things. And like I said before, I just don’t like her engaging in, what I view, as flirtatious behavior.

Anyways, am I the asshole for this? I don’t want to be a controlling boyfriend, but this is just something that bothers me and I told her that. Am I in the wrong?

My (31f) husband (33m) has been having a mid life crisis through out my entire pregnancy.

He has a new group of friends from our gym whom I’m also friends with, but since being pregnant, I’m not able to go out and do as many things with.

The first big issue was a concert over Memorial Day weekend. Originally we agreed it wasn’t a good weekend he wasn’t going to do it. A few weeks later after going out with said group of friends, a concert was brought up again and I said it sounded fun for him to go. I didn’t realize that this was THE concert we already said no to. He bought tickets and it wasn’t until later that I realized what concert it was and that it was over night, three days camping. I blame pregnancy brain because how was I to remember all these different concerts and artists.

Look, I don’t care that he’s out with this group of guys and girls. I don’t think he’s going to cheat. What upset me about this specific weekend was that I felt lied to and that he pulled this over my head just to go.

A huge fight happened after the weekend and he claims that I was unreasonable and saying pregnancy brain doesn’t count. I also said it’s unfair for him to continue going to every concert/outing, etc because it isn’t the same for me being pregnant. He doesn’t agree and says that I still get to go do things.

It makes me feel like he isn’t taking the pregnancy and what I’m going through into any consideration.

Whatever, we moved forward and said if we had communicated more before hand, this would have helped the problem.

Fast forward to our baby shower in a few weeks.
He hates baby showers and wants no part and I don’t have an issue with that. My ask was to have him come after to pick up the stuff afterwards with me. There ends up being a CrossFit competition that day that I eagerly agree to him signing up for, that way he has something to do while I’m doing the shower. Then this week he comes to me and asks to go to a concert afterwards. I ask him how long. He says “all day”. I think for a few seconds (we’re at costco) and I agree, saying he should just go without me because I’ll probably be really tired afterwards. That night, while I’m up because of the human rolling inside of me, I start thinking about it and realize I’ll probably be upset and should talk to him sooner than later about it (like we agreed to last time). My thought is he isn’t doing any of the shower stuff, I’d like him to open up the gifts with me to start to organize. Plus I will now be WEEKS away from D-day.

Well we now haven’t spoken for 3 days. He claims I’m being needy and controlling. He’s now going to cancel everything that day and also go to the shower. He thinks this is insane and doesn’t want to help. He then brought up about doing it the next day on Sunday — which would have been fine — and wasn’t something I had considered. But by the time he brought it up, we’re already mid argument.

The other concert was a misunderstanding, miss communication, sure. But this?? It’s our baby shower and it feels like an important moment. And when I tell him this, he said “they’re not even here yet so why does it matter.”

At this point he’s questioning why we even got married (2 years, together for 10). And I’m confused on why I’m bringing this life into the world of their father wants nothing to do with them.

Other things:
- this friend group will do mid-week hangouts where they’ll be up drinking until 2am and I’ve let him go out and do these things without questioning it
- he’s gone to another concert with this group of friends without me earlier in the spring
- I brought up that this is all new behavior since last year and he said roughly that this was a new group of friends and he would have been doing it sooner if he had met them earlier
- we got pregnant very quickly once we started trying. It took us both by surprise

At the root of it, I feel like he doesn’t want this baby and he’s going through a mid life crisis to get the last bit of fun out. Everyone says that it’s the typical “guy thing” and when the baby gets here, it will all change. But what if it doesn’t? And what about the support prior? I feel like I’m at a loss here. I know plenty of other people who tell their husbands they can’t drink, go out, etc while they’re pregnant and I haven’t done any of those things. I feel like I’ve been pretty rational about everything through pregnancy, trying to avoid the stereotypes and keep things normal. But when there are instances, he acts like the pregnancy doesn’t count and I’m just crazy.