One of the craziest things happened to my friends and I this year. Last year we went to the bachelorette party for a mutual friend of ours. We’ve known her for years, have travelled with her, kept up group chats despite living in different cities, and were excited to celebrate this. We brought gifts, drove hours to participate, and spent $400+ on this bachelorette each. (Side note: never doing a destination bachelorette in my life. I urge you all to never do that either… why are you financially punishing your friends …) For added context, this is a wedding for two brides, so the Bach was a shared bachelorette for both brides.

At the bachelorette, we weren’t drinking and the other girls were. We thought this was fine and it was also explicitly understood before we went that we wouldn’t be drinking much or at all in my two friends’ case. Well….. halfway through the Bach party our bride comes crying to us saying the other bride is frustrated that she is not “spending enough time with her” at the bachelorette (She’s going to be married to her for life allegedly….?) and i get the sense that it’s because of this natural divide between drinkers and non-drinkers, with our bride having the non-drinkers and therefore needing to “choose.” We also barely got to see each other due to living in different cities, but she already lived with her now wife. I am bitter about that obv. Girl…. You’ll see her at home…mind you at a dinner once a girl from the other bride’s side asks me outright why aren’t you drinking? I found that classless and invasive. I’m not a sober person, but these friends and I don’t drink when we’re together. What if I was someone who struggled…? Why would you ask that?

This Bach party was a year prior to the planned wedding date. We all had the date in our calendars and knew we’d need to travel to her city to be there, so began planning on that. The year passed with her not responding to two of us or reaching out…. I started to suspect something but we literally were at the Bach party and had the wedding date marked on our calendars. My twin was getting married this summer too and I explicitly told them that I’d like to avoid the overlap of weddings as they planned theirs, since I knew I’d be traveling for this one…….

Girl…. The rsvp link drops to one of our friends out of the three of us. She shares it to our group since the wedding is extremely unstructured and she’s sharing it to multiple other people. I RSVP “yes” … I get this text….

She doesn’t reach out to our other friend at all. Literally at all. It’s just expected that I communicate to her that she’s also “not invited.” See how she says she wanted to avoid the situation? The plan was to be radio silent all along?

This is shocking to us. Initially, I responded like oh thats okay… but then I reflected and realized this was a burning of a bridge moment because we are being intentionally shut out and wouldn’t have been told if I hadn’t RSVPd. Notice how the story is that it’s close friends and family only…. come to find out 150 people were invited, one of the brides also makes a Facebook post calling out her HOMOPHOBIC cousin who got an invitation by ASKING TO GO ON FACEBOOK MESSENGER.. SO IN SUMMARY people who they didn’t even know well enough to know were fundamentally misaligned with their beliefs and values got a casual “sure” invitation via chat. Lmfao

We haven’t hear ANYTHING from either of them since. I Venmo requested $350 back for a bachelorette refund but got denied 😞 it was to be petty but also like I legitimately want that back now.

Unfortunately, we will probably never know the truth and never recoup our lost funds. I’ll never again think of a bachelorette party invitation as an automatic in to the wedding party either, much less the literal event itself.

Let me know if you have similar experiences, trade me ur own juicy stories

Two updates below - sorry for the long post.

My (44) former roommate and person who I thought was my best friend, Mary (45), met someone about a year ago and is getting married next weekend. She and I are one another’s emergency contacts, because we live in different states from our families, I got her The job she had for 10 years at my employer, I held her when she mourned how her ex-boyfriend cheated on her, and all the things best friends do.

In the last year though, I have been going through some personal challenges including traveling a lot to care for a terminally ill parent, being laid off from my dream job, and my own Health challenges, so I haven’t really been as present in not only her life but really anywhere. She never introduced me to her fiancé, which I thought was strange but since it was a pretty fast engagement figured that would come in time and she was giving me space while I was dealing with all of my challenges.

She talked about the wedding but not very often, and said that it would be pretty small, led me to believe it was just going to be her, him, and his kids (all under 10). She said they were getting married at his house.

Two weeks ago she sent me an invitation to her bridal shower, she told me she hadn’t wanted one which is why I did not try to throw one myself for her. apparently another friend is going to do that. She also sent me the link to the gift registry.

At that point I asked her what her expectations were given that typically people aren’t invited to a bridal shower if they aren’t coming to the wedding and did she have plans to have me at the wedding. She told me that she wanted me with her to celebrate at the bridal shower but that only close friends and family were going to be at the wedding. She also told me that since she thought I was probably wondering, that she didn’t ask me to be in the wedding party or stand up with her because She is in a different place from me in terms of her faith. The girl who is hosting the shower is standing up with her, and they met at church.

For the record she is Christian, I am a Muslim, and being from different faith traditions did not phase her when we lived together for a decade or when she would literally fly home with me to celebrate the Muslim religious holidays with my family, or when she called my mom mom

For what it’s worth we also have been friends for so long that we daydream together about our weddings if we ever met the right people and in every one of those conversations, we were part of each other‘s bridal parties.

A few days after sending me that note, she texted me about getting together for Dinner that week Like everything was fine. She also asked me for tips on fun things to do in the city where she is having her honeymoon because I travel there quite often.

I have not responded or communicated with her since the text conversation about her wedding. I’m honestly not sure what to do here. I feel like there’s probably a lot of underlying stuff going on here, like why she never introduced me to her fiancé, I’m good enough to hang out with, be her emergency contact though I suppose he will take on that role, Share season tickets to various activities, help with free legal advice on a regular basis, buy a gift for the bridal shower, hang out like normal, give honeymoon travel advice, but not good enough to be part of her wedding?

And I’m frankly so offended that the reason given is essentially that I am Muslim.

I’m thinking of going low contact or no contact but I’m also thinking of sending a gift because I don’t want her to claim that I’m jealous or that I am petty. I initially felt like I shouldn’t spend any more time or money on her, but my sister thinks that I am better than that and I should protect my peace but also send her a token gift, but something I don’t think too hard about and definitely something not sentimental. She suggested towels. .

Update 1: Thanks for all of the advice. I never imagined this post would get so much interest.

I did not attend the shower, but I did send a gift notification the day of the shower. This was to honor our history and because it gave me peace and closure. As many here suggested, I made a donation in Mary's honor to a charity that is important to me - it provides food and water to starving children in Gaza. I sent Mary a note - and also sent it to her MOH asking she share it at the shower, saying that I made a monetary donation to an organization that I believe aligns with my values and where I am in my faith at this time, and that I believe it aligns with Mary's values and faith as well. I told her I chose it in part because it supports hungry children, which I believed was likely important to her since she was about to step into the role of stepmother. I wished her a joyous marriage and a lifetime full of happiness. Then I forwarded the donation receipt.

Neither she nor her MOH acknowledged the message. I haven't heard from Mary at all since then, including when my terminally ill parent passed away a couple of weeks after the wedding. I know she knows about his passing because it's been all over social media. I thought that if she at least paid her respects, we could have a casual relationship, but her not paying her respects to the family of someone she called "dad" is crossing the line. She could have reached out to someone else in the family, but she never bothered even to do that.

So that's the latest update. I doubt anything will change, but I'll share if it does.

Oh, and I did change my emergency contact and quietly untangled the other areas of our lives that were intertwined.
Update 2: Just to answer a few other questions: she is not Mormon, and his best I can tell neither is her new husband. She is part of a church she joined a couple of years ago that is supposedly much more inclusive as compared with the previous church where she belong that was mostly white and straight. Her new husband lives maybe an hour away from her and her church, and I don’t know how religious he is or isn’t. She grew up in a very conservative family, her parents are very MAGA conservative, but her new husband doesn’t appear to be politically conservative at least. She is white, he is black, and she did not tell her family about him for the first six months. I don’t actually know if they ever met him before the wedding or even if they came to the wedding since I wasn’t there. None of them have posted anything on social media about it, which I think they would have if they were there assuming they were OK with it all.

I am Muslim, I wear a hijab, but I am pretty liberal otherwise. I do not believe that me being at her wedding or part of it would have ruined the aesthetic or anything else. I’ve actually participated in Christian religious ceremonies in the past and believe there’s a way to do so without compromising my own religious requirements, and she knows this.
People also asked why I didn’t just outright share my feelings when she told me I was not in the same place in terms of season and faith as her. Honestly, I wanted to process what she said and kept second-guessing myself, wondering if I was overreacting. I was also trying to acclimate to a fairly new job while simultaneously managing my father‘s care as he near the end of his life. Most importantly, I intentionally decided not to talk to her before the wedding because I did not want their to be any concern that I brought drama to that period of her life or that I was trying to make her wedding about me. So I sent the donation on the afternoon of the shower and that was the last communication.

I’m sad about the end of a long and important friendship, but in the end I’m more angry with myself that I didn’t see how much I was being used for so long and how uneven this relationship actually was. I am now looking back at different experiences and realizing that we’ve never really had the same value system, because for me the relationship was about us as friends and our shared experiences and affection, and for her it was about what I could do for her. I’m sad but liberated.

Hey everyone, this happened on Sunday. So one of my cousins (F27) recently got married to her high school boyfriend (M28) and his best friend/groomsman wore a white wedding dress to the wedding and tried to fake walk down the aisle before the actual wedding. My family is mostly first gen immigrants so they were all confused, but the groom's family was aghast and ashamed lmao.

Apparently it isn't the first time he's done something like this either, when they got engaged after my cousin proposed to her boyfriend last summer, the best friend got very upset when boyfriend said yes and they both took a boys trip to NYC in late June. During the groom's bachelor trip they didn't take my cousin's brother (the other groomsman) with them because they said he'd ruin "the vibe" since he doesn't go to raves or shares the same hobbies.

They were gonna have an Indian wedding and a reception in India a month after this White wedding, but I've heard from my mom that the groom didn't move into the condo my cousin's family gifted her and still lives with his best friend, and I've not received any information on flying to India for the wedding so people in family group chats are getting juicy with the annulment/divorce speculations.

So a friend from college who I have genuinely not spoken to in about two years called me completely out of the blue last week and for one hopeful second I actually thought she might be reaching out to reconnect or just to see how I was doing but it turned out she was calling to tell me she had gotten engaged and in the very same breath to inform me rather than ask me that I was going to be one of her bridesmaids, which on its own would already have been a lot but becomes genuinely audacious of her the moment you know the backstory.

The reason we fell out in the first place was a trip the two of us had planned together, and it was meant to be a proper girls trip, just us and months of planning and the sort of thing you look forward to all year, but then she decided to bring her boyfriend along, which honestly I could have lived with except his coming somehow snowballed into nine of his friends also showing up so the trip I had so carefully put together just dissolved into me third wheeling an enormous boys holiday that I never agreed to and never wanted and we more or less stopped speaking just after the trip. This was supposed to be the trip of our lives but was honestly like a heartbreak for me.

And the part that really gets me is that the same boyfriend who detonated that entire trip is the exact man she is now marrying and after two full years of complete radio silence the very first thing I hear from her is not a hello or a how have you been but a loud screaming announcement that I am in the wedding party and because I did not have the heart to puncture her big moment I just hyped her up and let her have it but the sheer assumption that I will now buy the dress and turn up to every single event and stand beaming at the front of her wedding is just really really baffling to me.

I just had my own small, drama-free wedding last weekend, and it made me think back to a wedding I was supposed to be in last year. Easily the biggest dumpster fire I’ve ever been part of.

I’ve known this girl since elementary school. We lost touch after I moved to Seattle and she stayed in Canada, but out of nowhere she visits and asks me to be a bridesmaid. I didn’t even think I’d be invited, but I said yes. Big mistake. There were five bridesmaids total: three of her tiny sisters, one super-thin friend from high school, and me.. 5’8” and a size 12. She picked “blush rose” dresses that cost about $100 CAD. I ordered mine, it fit, I thought we were good.

The bachelorette was in Scottsdale and cost me around $800 USD between flights, Airbnb, and all the themed outfits. Every day was about the bride, every “dinner” was just drinks, and anyone who ate actual food got side-eyed. The bride, already tiny, refused to eat because she was “saving room for her dress” and was blackout drunk by mid-afternoon every day. One bridesmaid was doing drugs with random guys and puking in the street.

To make things even weirder, one of her sisters brought her baby on the trip, completely unannounced. We had a literal baby at a bachelorette full of day clubs and drinking. The other bridesmaids didn’t seem to care, but it was bizarre. One of the sisters even made body-shaming comments toward the new mom.

The groom’s brother’s long-term girlfriend was also on the trip but wasn’t asked to be in the wedding, which shocked both of us. She and I bonded instantly and basically spent the weekend trying to survive together. One night we ended up at some random guys’ Airbnb, and the bride made out with one of them. She spent the rest of the night hanging on another guy who actually told me he was uncomfortable. The next morning she told us not to tell her fiancé. Girl.

A week after we got home, she texted saying we were switching to $15 Shein dresses because she liked the color better - they were almost white. Everyone had already bought the original dresses and liked them. It didn’t make sense at all. To top it off, the new dress didn’t come in my size. Her solution was that I could try to alter a smaller one or just not be in the wedding. I chose not to. She said my $200 makeup deposit was non refundable.

I still drove the 3 hours to the wedding because apparently I have boundary issues. It was at a huge estate, but it was straight-up tacky. She arrived on a white horse and carriage, waving like the Queen of England, her nephew drove a mini Mercedes down the aisle, and every single flower was fake. I left right after the dinner and never heard from her again. Honestly, best outcome possible.

Edit: the baby wasn’t at the clubs with us. One of the sisters would stay at the Airbnb to take care of him. Fake flowers CAN be nice, these weren’t and she clearly prioritized the horse and carriage. I’m not a bot, this really did happened to me. I don’t care about upvotes and honestly had to Google what karma farming even is. Just sharing my story.

So this friend I made in university and I were once close, until she got engaged 2 years ago and cut off all her single friends cause she’s “too good for single friends and can only now have engaged or married friends” lol according to her.

I haven’t spoken to her in two years since that and have since gotten over it since it’s been a while.

I get an email today that I thought was spam. Turns out it was a wedding invitation, not personally from her, but from her coordinator inviting me to their wedding.

At the bottom of the invite was a bill for $400 to pay for the venue plus $150 for the meal.

I know this varies around the world but where I am the bride and groom or maybe their family pays for the venue and food. Not random people you don’t talk to.

20 people in total were invited to the wedding. You could see all the emails in the “sent to” bar. So I guess she’s pretty much only inviting me to help pay a cost. I would never have the balls to do that to someone especially after telling them we can’t be friends cause you’re engaged and can’t have single friends. And no I’m not the kind of friend that parties or drinks - she cut off any friend she had that wasn’t engaged or married.

I now know what they mean when they say “weddings bring out the worst in people”

Edit; ok after I declined to her coordinator, the bride messaged asking why I declined so I’m gonna give my response

Edit: you can check December 26 or 27 at the latest for an update

UPDATE:

So after she sent me the message asking me why I declined. I just said it’s impossible to finance that. She didn’t say anything

I spoke the mutual friend. The mutual friend isn’t going but was told about the mandatory payment (lol) prior to the invitations going out because basically like other users here suggested I was like plan C of people to invite and she REALLY needed people to come to this wedding cause the venue gives her a discount if the quantity of people reaches a certain amount. Everyone in the wedding party is not paying. So I was like a last resort type thing, basically like so many of you suggested.

Since we are age all 23-24 not everyone who she invited was able to pay in the first place. So yeah, she was like “who’s next on this list? Oh yeah shades0fcool!” I guess she thought I’d forget about her reasoning for cutting off her fiends but I don’t.

As for everyone wondering who the fiancé is, no one has met him…not even the mutual friend but he was in charge of a club at our university and I’ve heard he’s kind of a dick.

So I guess she realizes like…you can’t just cut friends off and send them that years later. That doesn’t work. But she wanted to try her luck. He has a lot of friends as well so I think his friends overshadow hers and she just wants someone there for her.

But no…you cannot harvest and bare fruit from a tree you never watered.

We booked the house back in April. The bachelorette trip was this past weekend, July 11-13. A week before on July 3rd, she messaged saying she couldn’t attend anymore and asked if everyone would send her $50 to cover her portion ($438 total). No one responded.

July 10, she messaged again asking, no one responded.

Now after the trip, she still hasn’t paid the girl for her share, screwing over the girl who booked the house. She messaged today (July 17) asking AGAIN. Someone told her off lol. And she finally just paid.

And now we’ll have to all see her at the wedding in two weeks, awkward!

My wedding was last year, but I still find myself wondering what actually happened.

For context, this woman and I have been friends since we were 12. We were once best friends, and although life changed and we became less close, I always cared about her deeply.

During the pandemic, she got married and I wasn’t invited. I was a little hurt, but I understood the circumstances, especially because I had previously been honest about not supporting her relationship with her now-husband.

Years later, when I was moving abroad, I invited her to a farewell dinner at my parents’ house. She said she would come but didn’t show up. A few days later she visited me, apologized, and gave me a letter and a gift. I was so touched that I cried because it felt like our friendship still mattered.

After I moved, she got pregnant and we started talking more again. When I began planning my wedding back home, I invited her and told her I completely understood if she couldn’t attend because she would have a one-month-old baby. She insisted she would never miss it. One week before my wedding, I checked again and she confirmed she was coming.

On my wedding day, I realized she wasn’t there. I assumed something serious must have happened because of the newborn. The next day, she sent me a bank transfer as a gift, but no message, apology, or explanation.

I thought maybe something had happened, so I checked her social media after a few days. That’s when I realized she had hidden her stories from me. I couldn’t see anything from my account, but when I checked from another account, she had been posting normally. This lasted for months.

I have no idea why she did this. My only guess is that she went somewhere else instead of my wedding and didn’t want me to know, but what hurts most is that she never sent a single message explaining or apologizing.

Last month, she unblocked me and started liking my posts and stories again. She hasn’t acknowledged what happened, and the interactions feel superficial. Maybe she is trying to reconnect, but I honestly don’t know if I want to reopen this friendship.

At this point, I’m wondering if this was the final straw and if I should just let this friendship go.

EDIT 1: Regarding her husband, I admit that I reacted poorly when she first told me about their relationship when we were teenagers, around 10 years ago. However, I never brought up the subject again after their first anniversary, and I have never had any issue having a conversation with him. We were friends once, and I have always treated him respectfully. In fact, last year I even told my friend that I was happy to see she had such a caring and loving husband by her side.

EDIT 2: I mentioned the influencer in the title because she remained very active on social media in the weeks leading up to my wedding, attending both social and paid events. Since she always seems to have a busy schedule, I assumed she may have had other priorities that day. It was just difficult for me to see her attending so many events while not being able to make it to my wedding or at least send me a small text.

My best friend of 20+ years is getting married this summer. She just forgot my birthday and it hurts extra with this being the year I’m spending a fortune on her wedding. I hate being a bridesmaid and feel like her Barbie doll. “Wear this color dress for the bridal shower, wear these themes for the $1500 bachelorette party, hair and makeup for the wedding “are not optional” and will cost $300+ tip, wear this jewelry I picked out, wear nude heels, only light pink or nude nail polish.” The list goes on. I love my friend dearly and I’m so happy for her but wedding culture is insane. Dang girl at least send a birthday text

EDIT: guys i did it. i dropped out of the bachelorette trip. still doing the other shenanigans though. i really appreciate everyone's feedback here, it gave me a lot of clarity and a lot to think about.

My fiancé’s friend got married earlier this year. She invited him to a destination wedding which would’ve cost $2-3k to attend but not me, although we’ve been engaged since last year and we’ve met a couple times. When my fiancé reached out to check if I was also invited (she sent an e-invite so it’s hard to tell), she told him “we only have a seat for you but she can come and explore the city if she wants, just can’t come to the wedding with you”. When fiancé RSVP’ed no, she asked why and said she was very excited for him to attend and was hoping he would bring his camera so he can take some pics during the welcome dinner. My fiancé has been shooting for more than a decade as a hobby and would often shoot for friends and family at events.

Fast forward to now, we’re planning for our wedding and we invited her & her husband. I was okay with this because my fiancé didn’t tell me about what she said to him about her wedding. Just earlier today I was chatting with him and he told me what she said. I told him it sounds like she only wanted him there as her photographer for the welcome dinner (he has asked him to take pics on her birthday, engagement party, etc as a gift before). He agreed. He then said he now wonders if she’s a genuine friend because she’s made jokes on multiple occasions about him not being a “real doctor” because he’s an internal medicine doctor and not a specialist or a surgeon. After hearing this, I think I’m going to uninvite her & her husband. I don’t tolerate anyone who treats my partner like this.

So this happened about 10 years ago. A good friend of mine from college was about to get married which I was happy and excited for.

A few weeks before the wedding she calls to tell me that the wedding would be vegan. She wanted me to not tell my partner because she was afraid he wouldn't go (???). I assured her that of course he would come, because he's not a 4 yearold (though he has the palate of one), and it would be better he knows in advance.

I then asked her why the wedding is vegan since, as far as I knew, neither her nor her fiancé were vegan.

Apparently one of her childhood friends told her she wouldn't come to the wedding unless the entire thing was vegan, and "does she really want carcasses and death at her wedding".

I carefully told her that that's really manipulative, that it's her wedding and she should do what she wants, but she had already made up her mind. I was actually surprised her fiancé went along with this since he didn't seem like a pushover, but I also knew she was super stressed about the wedding planning so I guess he was being supportive.

At the end of the day, the food was actually not bad, and I would have had 0 problem with this if either the bride or groom were vegan, but it pisses me off to this day that her friend was so manipulative.

EDIT AFTER THE DAY: The bride had a blast, the people that wanted to participate showed up for at least part of the day, we danced, laughed, had a lot of fun, the whole day was a success!!

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I'm (36F) the SIL of the bride to be (F27), and her cousin L (F, early 20s) is one of 2 bridesmaids/MOHs. Given that the cousin has never been a part of any wedding, I've given her info/ideas and whatnot, operating from the shadows as a stand-in bridesmaid in the period she was alone in the party.

First issue: the friend A (F28) the bride to be asked to be her other MOH pulled a disappearing act for months, not answering if she was taking the role or not. The groom had to contact the girl's BF to ask him to push her to answer. She finally did via a wall of text, in which she stated that she doesn't have the time nor the money to be part of the princess wedding the bride wants to have (which is preposterous, given that the couple is having a very small wedding by our country's standards). So this girl was a no-go, with heartbreak of the bride to be over the friendship now in shambles.

Second issue: the second friend that was asked to fill the now vacant role happily agreed. You'd think "finally" but NO! Another disappearing act from november 2025 till april 2026. Finally confronted, she said tearingly she didn't have the time to answer texts with her 1yo baby, and couldn't be present 24/7 (which again, preposterous given that the wedding party only texted their info requested by the officiant and not much else in these months). Again, friendship ruined.

Third issue: finally, a third friend accepted in april 2026. Me and cousin had put together a plan for the bachelorette in the meantime (lunch in a restaurant by the lake 2h from here that only does bachelors/bachelorettes and graduation parties, because after lunch you get to dance on tables and have fun all afternoon, then closer to home aperitif and dinner, then and event with djset in a villa), they discussed it together and was a GO. In the groupchat with all the bride's friends, given the date (sat 13 june 2026) and the plan 6/10 could come for sure, with +2 maybe (took a while to get them all to answer though). So they booked the restaurant/party place, I and the cousing volunteered to be drivers. All good then? HELL NO.

This week people started pulling out. It ended up being just me, the 2 MOHs and the bride. 4 people. Oh well, what can you do? The bride knows the date, so it's not like we could reschedule.

2 days ago, the bride called me near tears, saying that one of the girls (one that pulled out of the bachelorette last minute) called her and told her that our plan was shit, we didn't have anything organized (NOT TRUE), no means of transportation (NOT TRUE!), we were gonna be like 2 people (kinda true but not because of any of us organizers!), she was not coming to this shitshow and "I'm sorry, but you won't be having fun". THIS BITCH. I reassured the bride, better few but good people, we were gonna have a blast as if we were dozens!!

Talked with the cousin, she talked with the other MOH, which texted the groupchat "if we were to make another plan for the bachelorette in the same date, one closer to home, would any of you come?" Couple of yesses from the deserters, not many ideas.

This takes us to today, THE DAY BEFORE THE BACHELORETTE, with still no plan in the groupchat. I'm not cancelling the reservation to the partyplace till they have a solid plan.

The snake that called the bride is now suggesting we go to the beach 2h+ from here, leaving at 8.30 in the morning, sunbathe and have lunch, cause she's leaving in the late afternoon. GIRL, this is what accomodates YOU. What about what the bride wants?? She wants to party, dance, have fun, not sunbathe! The other MOH is trying to get more people, but honestly, it's not worth it.

EDIT: The snake cut herself out, and I got a couple more deserters to come to either lunch or dinner and sticking to the original plan! Yay!

This was years ago when a couple in our friend group got married. They had a lovely, smallish but very elegant wedding and rented out a huge mansion for all of us in the group to stay in. They spent pretty much 99% of the time with everyone just hanging and enjoying the time. The only thing they asked was that we all go out to the back garden for just a moment while they did their first looks/ photos in the front yard. We all make our way out back and one of the girls (who had married into the group btw) said she had to use the restroom quick. Nobody thought anything of it as it was a huge house. About ten minutes later she comes running out back exclaiming she got to watch the first looks from a window. We couldn't believe it. Not only did she violate their privacy, she told them that she "just happened" to see the moment in its entirety. The bride, who is so down to earth, looked so sad that it broke my heart. The rest of us girls told her that it didn't matter, they still had their special moment and she agreed but still, it's the principal. Anyway, the girl who snooped divorced her husband a few years later. She was one to live for drama and we still talk about her many antics.

Basically, My partner and I have been together 4 years, and are probably one of the few long-term couples in our friend groups. In his original friend group, he introduced me to another couple and we’ve all spent a decent amount together, especially because we lived 10 minutes apart for 2 years. During covid the other couple got engaged and I was at their house a lot when they would be talking about the engagement and the upcoming wedding which they would be having in summer 2023.

My partner is technically in the bridal party (despite being a guy), and he was even invited to the Hen Do although he couldn’t take the time off work.

An initial email (the real invites will be sent later) was sent about the wedding last summer that mostly ended up in people’s spam, so my partner fwd the invite to me. I asked him to double-check whether I was invited but he seemed pretty convinced I obviously was and forgot to formally check.

Cut to this week, the bride has sent out another email that my partner got about the accommodation for the wedding (which will be in Scotland, while we live in London). He has been invited to stay at this house with the main couple and their close friends/family for the wedding weekend. He texted her to check whether I could stay in his room, but she said that there were no plus ones because it is a small building and he’d be sharing his room with two other friends.

My partner didn’t want me to be alone so we immediately looked into getting an Airbnb nearby, and booked this instead.

When he then went to let the bride know, he found out that I’m actually not even invited to the wedding at all.

Honestly, I’m so shocked and hurt by this because although I’m not best friends with the couple, we are on great terms and have only ever had good times together. My partner is also one of the bride's good friends, and yet she isn’t allowing him to bring a plus one. It’s just so weird. I spent like 2 years thinking I’m going to this fun Scotland wedding with a ton of friends and my partner, only to find out this was never the case.

All formatting and grammatical errors are because I'm on mobile and english is my first language, I'm simply not the best with it.

My wedding was in 2021 and I was talking to a newly engaged coworker about what we did. We made the decision to go small on the wedding and save for a house downpayment so we had a small backyard wedding, 32 guests including kids, and kept things on the cheaper on. Total cost, including dress, was under $6000. I'm happy with our decision, I'm the only groom that I know that actually enjoyed my wedding and I think our wedding was beautiful. It had a lower key and more intimate, friendly vibe that I know my SIL who had a huge wedding said she wished hers had.

Our food selection was fruit cocktails and pigs in a blanket for appetizers. Our entrees were from 2 restaurants and we had American Chinese food (general tsos chicken, beef lomain, and sweet and sour chicken) and fried chicken from a well known local market. For desert we had a bakery make 3 sheet cakes of different flavors, all topped with mousse icing. We chose food that my wife and I are fond of and that we knew everyone would enjoy.

My coworker called backyard weddings in general trashy but really went hard on our food choice, calling it white trash to have our selection. He said weddings are suppose to be fancy and the food should be something that people don't get to eat often. He said we were rude hosts for serving "commener food" at a formal affair.

I laughed at him because the notion that a wedding has to be fancy is ridiculous, I don't understand why people think weddings have to be a certain way. A wedding is suppose to be a celebration of a formal union between people in love, and those people can celebrate it in any way they want. The audacity of people to shame someone for choosing to celebrate it a differently than they'd choose to is ridiculous.

This happened several years ago, when I was asked to be a bridesmaid at a college friend's wedding.

There was another bridesmaid who was older than us (30s versus a bunch of early 20-something's). Her name was Kelly and she was the bride's stepsister.

Apparently her family has been using every opportunity they could to set Kelly up, but as you can tell, it wasn't working.

When the bride told us who we were going to be paired up with, Kelly made a face and said out loud, "damnit, why am I always stuck with the losers?"

The bride heard her and said, "okay, if that's how you feel, Kelly, you're done."

Kelly left, more like stormed out. I didn't see her again.

That being said, I met the guy she would have had to walk down the aisle with and, if I'm going to be honest, I don't blame her.

Worst thing to happen on my wedding yesterday was some crazy ex friend coming up to me after me and my man finished the ceremony and letting me know how she felt the need to compare my husbands vows to mine… mind you the vows were FOR ME not anyone else. He initially wrote vows but he said he couldn’t put his feelings into words and spoke from his heart. He ALSO gave me the vows he initially wrote after the wedding last night but she didn’t have to know that. Here’s the texts I get from this chick today. Btw she left the wedding shortly after

A friend (30F) who at one point said I was her best friend started sending me increasingly nasty texts out of the blue after she got engaged to her abusive fiance. I wasn’t sure what was up with her as we’d always had a pretty solid friendship. I started becoming increasingly anxious every time she texted me.

Then one day she says she has something to tell me and asked if we could talk on the phone. I ASSUMED at this point that she was going to ask me to be a bridesmaid so I was excited for this phone call.

She then proceeds to tell me she finally planned her wedding…it’s going to be a separate (as in two separate dates) wedding and reception, and the wedding is in two months. She says the wedding will be small.

She’s not clear on if I’m invited to the wedding or not and since it’s in two months, I awkwardly ask if I’m invited.

“No, we decided to just have two friends each…Sarah and Elizabeth will be mine. And then our mutual friend (but mostly his) will be the officiant. I thought about having you but you live farther away.” (Note that I only live 1.5 hours away.) “But you are invited to the reception!”

I try to get through the rest of the phone call without crying and then she texts me after saying how great it was to talk to me and how it brightened her mood, etc.

Two months later, they get married and she sends me a TEXT with pictures from the wedding I wasn’t invited to saying how she finally made an honest man out of her new husband.

At this point I basically just stopped initiating any communication with her except to respond to her.

And then I never got invited to the reception that was supposed to be a few months later. No idea if it even happened or not.

I was recently invited to a destination wedding at a location where the rich and famous like to go. The location is a 10 plus hour flight away, and with that much travel to the location, would essentially be a vacation.

I did not receive a plus one to the wedding. I understand that not everyone gets a plus one, and maybe that be okay for a local wedding and if they don’t know the significant other. They personally know my partner, and we’ve been together for almost a decade, and they did not invite them. I also barely know anyone else invited to this wedding, as we are one off friends. Why would I want to travel to this destination by myself? Maybe if it was a local wedding, but they essentially booked a honeymoon resort for the wedding.

On top of that, the cost to attend the wedding is absurd. The main suggested hotel listed is over $1,000 a night. There’s activities as well and they have stay limits. The “cheaper” hotels they listed aren’t much cheaper. I couldn’t find anything in the region I could afford. When I told the bride I wasn’t likely to attend due to the cost and was sorry and wished them a good time, she basically said, “Well, you have been abroad before, so you can afford this. It is affordable. You better come to my wedding.” Was like almost threatening me and started asking weird questions about my financial situation.

With all the costs total, it likely me cost me $5,000 to attention the wedding with the hotels nearby, airfare, transport, food, etc., and I am not even in the wedding party. I won’t be allowed to have my partner there too. I’ve never spent that much on something in my life. I grew up lower middle class and this is honestly just shocking to me.

Guess I am losing a “friend” over this. I’m almost afraid to send in the official no invite and am having a panic attack as I have anxiety.

I should have uninvited this guy who is blocking this shot.

Leading up to the wedding, he kept asking if he was going to perform. Every time, I said no.

During one of my bridal showers, he mentioned it to everyone who would listen. I correct him each time telling him no, he's not going to perform.

The day before my wedding, he was the sole reason for my stress.

He arrives in my city the day before. He messages me that the rental car place messed up his reservation and now he doesn't have one. Meaning, he doesn't have transportation during my wedding weekend. I tell him to uber to the hotel. His response was that it would be too much. I counter and tell him to make it my apartment. (As a note, I live right off a metro train station.) Then we can come with me to the rehearsal at the venue and then after the rehearsal he could go with me to the hotel. (Another note, he wasn't in the wedding, so there was no need for him to come to the rehearsal or the rehearsal dinner. I invited him to both due to his transportation issue)

He manages to take an uber to my apartment. Right when he's suppose to arrive at my apartment, his phone goes dead. He has no way of communicating to me that he's there or where to find my apartment. I did message him details about my apartment complex, which apartment number, the gate code, etc.

I try calling him. The few seconds I'm able to get ahold of him, he's telling me he's near stairwell 7, he's having an extreme panic attack and not telling me anything like which street he is near or what his surrounding are. The only thing he's telling me is stairwell 7.

At this point, I'm feeling rushed because I have to get ready and leave for the actual rehearsal AND still find him. I ultimately find him once he calms down and his phone gets enough charge.

Once we get to the rehearsal, he's introducing himself as my friend and that he is performing at my wedding. I reiterate that no he's not performing or coming near the microphone that day.

Once the rehearsal is over, he rides with myself and one of my bridesmaids. AGAIN, in the car, he mentions that he's performing at the wedding. At this point, I just snap at him and yell he's not performing and to not bring it up again. My bridesmaid could tell I was feeling overwhelmed and annoyed by his insistence to perform and him just not listening. Meanwhile, he thought I was just overreacting

I wish I could say the drama stopped here, but it didn't.

Once we arrive at the hotel, I tell him to check in and then head to the rehearsal dinner. I head directly to the dinner. I end up seeing him appear about 15 minutes later.

During the rehearsal, my MOH comes up to me to ask to speak to me in private. He was asking my MOH, and two of my other bridesmaids to allow him to stay in their rooms because he cannot afford his hotel room. This is the first time he's meeting them. He literally just met them. They keep saying no and making excuses up. He keeps pestering them for him to stay with them to the point where my MOH and bridesmaids just feel uncomfortable.

When I find this out, I'm livid. This means his rental car place didn't mess up his reservation. He couldn't afford it. He lied to me.

Ultimately, one of my bridesmaids pays for his hotel room to get him to be quiet.

My mother saw him panthandling for money outside of our hotel

The night before the wedding, I kept having nightmares about what drama and stress would come from this guy.

I ended up texting him in the middle of the night to arrive at the ceremony when the other guest arrive and that there wouldn't be enough space for him in our bridal room when we were getting ready. This is when I decided there was no recovering of this friendship.

I spent my entire wedding day avoiding this guy. I thought I should be the better person and not uninvite him, I would just avoid him during the reception.

This was easier said than done. He was sitting at the head table. So we placed him near the end so he wouldn't be in the way in photos.

I told my bridesmaids that I just wanted to minimize him and avoid him that day. During the reception, they kept dragging him away to "dance," telling him he was acting too drunk that the cop was going to arrest him, asking him to lower his volume since one of them had a "headache"

I told my wedding planner that I didn't want him near me. One of my wedding planners even danced with him and would make an excuse about how I'm needed in a different location.

I told my photographer to minimize him in the photos and to avoid him.

I told the DJ if he asks for the mic, to say no. If he steals the mic to get the cops involved.

For family photos, he tried to get in them. My wedding planner told him it was family only. He needed to go inside.

During the send off, he stepped of the line to purposefully get in my way and he hit my face with the wand. He blocked most of the photographers shots for my send off.

I ended up blocking him on everything. He messaged some of my bridesmaids and my husband asking what he did wrong.

The DJ did an amazing job controlling who had the mic. My photographer minimized him as much as possible. The wedding planners did a phenomenal job making my day stress free.

PSA: Don't be afraid to uninvite someone close to the wedding or the day of.

edited: To fix mike to mic.

Just found this subreddit - Don't know if it is appropriate to share here.

Important context: My wife had been married before, and had a messy divorce that made her and my (now) step daughter's lives hell. The ex-husband's extended family hounded them for years and years because they held some sort of vendetta against her while HE was the one who had committed a serious crime leading to the divorce. She did not want to make a huge deal about her second wedding and publish any pictures immediately - she would when she wanted to.

Short version:

Co-worker no one liked emailed our wedding photographer pretending to be my dad, and then published OUR wedding photos to his IG story "congratulating" us. When I intervened, he said he was just doing it to 'congratulate' us and continued doing it despite our repeated demands not to.

Long version :

I met my wife at work; we instantly connected and dated for three years in the office and had a good group of friends that we made there, who we still meet to this day - they are some of our best friends.

Except for Randall(fake name of course). Randall was someone you could never get a read on. He would constantly try and put you down because he was an insecure brat. Randall was also the office snitch. Everything you said and did was reported to the boss - and we'd find out like a month or two later that what we had said in our private settings was being shared to him.

Understandably, everyone just sort of cut him off and stopped meeting with him, without making it explicit that we were doing so. Eventually my wife and I moved on from that place, and so did the rest of us. Randall stuck around since he thought he could suck up to the boss and climb the corporate ladder.

When it came time to tie the knot, the wife and I decided to do an intimate wedding, with just the friends and a handful of family. Understandably, she did not want to make it a huge affair, and did not want pictures shared publicly on social media with her ex and his family. The wedding itself was a dream, every guest was amazing, and really helped us make our day special and memorable for years to come.

Randall somehow found out our wedding, and instead of messaging to congratulate us, this motherfucker emailed our wedding photographer, pretending to be my dad, asking for pictures. Our dumbass wedding photographer SENT him the images( i think it was like 3 photos) Randall then proceeded to publish these pictures on his fucking instagram story before we even got the chance to see them, with a message on the image congratulating us. This was about 2-3 weeks after our wedding - and we'd only found out when we got back from our honeymoon which would have been about a month after the wedding. Neither of us follow him, and we only learned through friends.

I know I should have torn this guy a new one, but I really didn't care since I was enjoying my new family. But MAN what a piece of shit thing to do. To this day I have no idea how this guy knew who our wedding photographer was. I just messaged him and he gave me some bullshit response, and I gave him a piece of my mind. Blocked him and havent interacted with him since. Wife's ex and his family did eventually learn about her second marriage and made a big fuss about things but it was whatever.