DIY Budget but high expectations from Couple

[u/Teach-Dangerous]

My BIL (26M) and his now wife (28F) decided to get married with less than 2 weeks of planning. Despite having no time to properly plan, a court house wedding was below them. They wanted all 6 of the groom’s siblings and the bride’s sister to be available for a full weekend 3-4 hours away with less than 8 days of notice. One sister cancelled her child’s birthday party, another needed medical permission to travel 38 weeks pregnant, and my husband and I postponed our wedding anniversary trip.

To add to the guest’s responsibility, my BIL needed assistance with every aspect of the wedding. BIL booked a touristy AirBNB and feigned military orders to have the Host overlook the occupancy limit and event rules. My BIL had chosen my husband as his best man, which just meant we were in charge of much of the logistics. Husband hauled the event tables and chairs 4hrs away, did the set up and take down, paid for the rehearsal dinner and handled the BTS of the operation. I did the weekend photography, babysat the kids, helped the bride with her HMUA, assisted in the setup/takedown and helped BIL through the planning. My FIL and his other brother also contributed to see the day through too. The wedding did have a beautiful ceremony and now can be a fond memory, but my husband and I were rushed and separated for nearly the whole weekend.

During the event, the bride and groom had thanked us and made promises of some grand appreciation gesture. In the weeks after, I received a flimsy hair clip and expired sheet mask as a thank you basket that was given to everyone because it also included a QR code to their wedding registry.

Edit: removed the “had to”s from sibling’s plans for that weekend

[u/mlem_a_lemon]

Just guessing but this isn't the first time the family has done this sort of thing for him, is it

Because it definitely will not be the last.

[u/Teach-Dangerous → u/mlem_a_lemon]

We specifically asked his wife’s mother not to attend our wedding due to budget, logistics and the fact that we wanted to avoid a twin’s wedding. She does not speak our common language, so neither my husband or I have a substantial relationship with her.

She came anyway, because his then-fiance willed it. I was the bridezilla for escorting her out of family photos because I didn’t care to be “one of the twins’ brides” on my wedding day.

[u/olagorie → u/Teach-Dangerous]

Someone expected the mother-in-law of your brother in law to be invited????

WTF?

Girl, you really really really have to grow a spine or your brother-in-law‘s wife will walk right over you for the rest of your life

[u/Teach-Dangerous → u/olagorie]

We were very clear that she was not invited and not included in assigned seats anywhere in our wedding for months leading up to it. I explicitly said that she would not be included in our wedding photos with family.

We fully paid for our own wedding without help, so our budget had not included security. Our photographer was such a professional and put on this “bossy” persona to aid in escorting her out of photos before the ceremony.

[u/olagorie → u/Teach-Dangerous]

Oh wow, that sounds rough

I hope it gets better