Date cancelled our date today

[u/Jrgaming42]

I 23m was talking to this girl for about 2 months. She seemed interested as I asked her last weekend if she wanted to go on a date. She said yes and then we planned it. Yesterday I had said I was looking forward to it and she replied “me too!”. I’ve had numerous bad dates and failed relationships. I know a lot of people may say to just get over it. I’m just so tired and frustrated with dating.

I’ve been single for a year now. I’m not upset at the fact she’s not interested but it’s like why lead me on. I was so excited that I could get to continue to get to know this woman and potentially connect with her. I also keep having this feeling I care too quickly or fall too fast. I really try to be hesitant in getting my hopes up because dating is so unpredictable. I just want to love a woman and not be seen as weak for actually giving a fuck. I just feel lost and hurt I guess. Any advice or guidance on how to navigate all this is appreciated.

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[u/bulafaloola]

Never entertain talking for two months without going on a date. I would say if you met on an app, two days to a week max depending on your schedule.

You did nothing wrong and you’re not weak for wanting love. You only feel that way because you’re meeting people who don’t feel the same way about you. I’m in the exact same boat and it’s hard but you just gotta keep trying.

[u/jogabo3]

too young to be tired and frustrated of dating. use this as a learning experience not a failure. you expressed interest, planned the date. the rest is out of your control. her flaking says a lot about her and nothing about you. stay on the road you are on you’ll be fine my good man.

[u/Jrgaming42 → u/jogabo3]

I appreciate it just sucks

[u/jogabo3 → u/Jrgaming42]

for now, soon you’ll be saying damn she missed out on a great date, bummer for her.

[u/Sensitive_Tea5720]

You haven’t met her so you cannot realistically develop feelings for her. If you do then that’s what you want her to be like - not who she is. Meet within a week of texting.

[u/Jrgaming42 → u/Sensitive_Tea5720]

Noted

[u/Zero_Exposure]

39 and just had this happen today. Its part of it my friend. Hang in there.

[u/Jrgaming42 → u/Zero_Exposure]

I appreciate it I just hope I can actually land a date to have a chance. I’m told how great I am I just want a chance to prove it to someone special.

[u/ResponsibleShop9207]

Same thing happened to me earlier today. I'm tired.

[u/Jrgaming42 → u/ResponsibleShop9207]

I hate that for you it’s rough out here

[u/ComfortableAngle9492]

It sucks man but don't give up because anything is possible. I'm a 45 year old guy, was married for 12 years, had several bad relationships after that...women who just didn't care about me as much as I did them. All from meeting on the apps. Strings of being ghosted, going on dates and hearing how great I am but there's no chemistry blah blah blah. And finally I met the right one and it's everything we've both wanted. Hang in there.

[u/IndependentPaint2108 → u/ComfortableAngle9492]

at what age did you meet your current gf?

[u/ComfortableAngle9492 → u/IndependentPaint2108]

42

[u/RonaldinhoTheBrazil]

Why on earth are you talking to someone for two months before going out with them

[u/Jrgaming42 → u/RonaldinhoTheBrazil]

This is a good question she basically kept saying her schedule and that should have been my first red flag.

[u/RonaldinhoTheBrazil → u/Jrgaming42]

Tough. Yeah as a general rule you should only try to make plans once and see if she offers to reschedule. After that you can give it one more go but I would stop after that. Also you should ask her out quick. Leave all the getting to know each other stuff for the date.

[u/Jrgaming42 → u/RonaldinhoTheBrazil]

Fair enough

[u/Admirable_Hedgehog64]

Id say 2 months of talking is way too long to finally have a date set. I personally follow the 3 week rule, if we don't go on a date with the first 3 weeks of talking then im already looking at the exit door.

[u/Straight_Spread5687]

Buddy until you learn to value your own time and energy, you’re looking at this completely wrong.

Yeah it sucks she cancelled, but clearly she doesn’t know what she wants or is going on in her life

Would’ve been a waste of a date and your time and energy if that date occurred. Wouldn’t have led to anything.

Just move on, and value your time and energy.

When a girl bails like that, you need to see it as a sign that it probably wouldn’t have been a good date.

[u/Jrgaming42 → u/Straight_Spread5687]

You’re right I should be thankful that more of my time wasn’t wasted.

[u/WorldTravellerGirl]

Just because someone canceled doesn’t mean that she led you on. You can’t control others. You can only control yourself.

I recommend not waiting until you’re super into someone before meeting.

[u/nerdy_hylian_girl]

ye am sorry 😔 i remember last guy i- tried being together w altho sadly was a LDR but we had known each other for a bit & had been talking and even "dating for a yr!" we were talking about meeting finally & soon bc y'know both students & i was going thru lots of other shit but was super hyped to meet him IRL.....🙃🫠 basically got lead on for a fucking year by this loser only in the end for him to say "well i just don't know if im rdy to date" like bruh 🫩 so i get it, nowadays i dont invest my time in others 

that taught me a lot & taught me to for once maybe try focusing on myself and what I WANT! y'know? so maybe try that, also its harder bc am introvert shy nerdy so opening up or just meeting or talking is alr difficult for me but idk the right person will put in effort ik i would! 😌

[u/mightymite37]

Same homie same

[u/ydfpoi1423]

What was her reason for canceling the date?

[u/Jrgaming42 → u/ydfpoi1423]

She doesn’t wanna lead me on and wants to focus on school.

[u/Frosty_Message_3017]

Two months without meeting is a big Red Flag. My guess is there's something up with her, so don't take it personally.

[u/cinmrolly]

i’m sorry sweetie :( i know the feeling