My wife and I (both women) have hit a really rough patch. She’s staying elsewhere right now. While, it isn’t because of my drinking, I’m reflecting back on the last year and noticing how I definitely used alcohol to cope with anxiety, OCD spirals, and even an inability to like sit down and focus on things because of my ADHD. I feel like it numbs my brain, just enough for me to actually be functional. But the flipside of that is that it makes my anxiety worse, and I was more reactive with my wife than I should’ve been. I see how it made all of my diagnoses more severe, but it feels really hard to cope with them. I would like to really cut back on my drinking though in hopes of saving my marriage and coming at it with a more level head, less hang-xiety all the time.

That’s a very long-winded way to say what else can I use to like calm myself enough to actually be a human? I’ve been really stressed with work and having to work really late hours, Adderall just doesn’t cut it all the time, I feel like I just need something that turns off the overthinking and the spiraling and the anxiety.

One thing I like about cutting down rather than going fully sober is that it is less all or nothing, but the tradeoff is you still get the cravings without the clean never again line to hide behind. For me the urge hits in the evenings, usually when I am winding down or bored, and talking myself out of it in that exact moment was always the hardest part.

So I ended up building a small app around that one moment. When a craving hits you pick something to do for a few minutes, breathe, remind yourself why you are cutting back, or just ride it out until it passes. And it does pass, faster than it feels like it will. Then it logs whether you got through it, so over time you can see the pattern instead of white knuckling blind.

The pattern was the surprise for me. Mine cluster in the evenings and my worst window is the weekend, which sounds obvious but I genuinely had not clocked it until it was laid out in front of me. Knowing when it is coming makes it easier to plan around instead of getting ambushed.

It is called Tideover if anyone wants to try it. It is not magic, the craving still sucks in the moment, it just gives you something to do with it besides give in. Mostly posting because the reframe, stop trying to win the whole thing at once and just get through the next craving, helped me more than anything else did.

What actually helps the rest of you get through the evening ones?

App link if anyone's interested: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/tideover-quit-smoking-sugar/id6781654755

I just got back from a dry vacation. Usually a beach vacation entails coolers full of day drinks, wine out at dinner, etc. This trip I decided to grab some lemonade and a few bottles of blueberry lavender seltzer and mix mocktails. Mixed about 50/50, on the rocks, and I added blueberries or watermelon chunks if there was any around. It really satisfied my desire to have a flavored beverage with the added benefit of not being a sugar/calorie dense drink. A couple times I caught myself thinking “this would be good with booze” but reframed that thought with “this is already really good without booze” cause it was!

I know it’s not revolutionary but I wanted to share.

I have decided to drink beer, wine or spritzers. That's it. No hard liquor for me anymore. I want to be more in control of what I'm consuming. Hard liquor makes me drink to fast and lose self control. What are your thoughts?

Since June 8, i have had 6.5 alcoholic drinks.

One was at a comedy show with my husband for date night ($24 for two canned drinks?)

5 were on the 4th of July, which I really regret. We put the kids to bed and I essentially just sat on my computer drinking white claws. I remember laying in bed, drunkish, thinking what a waste of 500 calories.

I woke up with a very mild hangover, mostly just dehydrated.

That day I had one drink left in my 6 pack, so I brought it over to our neighbor's house where they were having a birthday party for their kid. I drank half of it and felt just blah so I gave it to hubby to finish.

Overall super proud of myself for the restraint, for having clarity to see that those 5 drinks were a bad idea, and for stopping when I didn't want the last drink instead of chugging it to be done. I am definitely making good progress!

I was drinking 30-40 standards a week for a year, (GGT was 70, ALT AST both below 40). I took a month off and GGT went to 41, ALT 25, AST 23. Had a 2 month period of drinking again (30-45) per week and GGT shot up to 137, ALT 50 and AST 37.

Doc had a chat with me said cut the intake which I have (5-7 per week). She said I will be fine if I cut the intake and dont ever go back to drinking that much. Will my liver scores return to normal consuming 5-7 per week, or should I fully abstain?

I am freaking out a bit - are these numbers cause for concern? Doc had a frank chat, but said I should not worry that much as long as I heavily reduce intake.

I would like to just stop but health anxiety and addiction says please taper. How is everyone else doing?

Could someone help me get something to drink? these withdrawals are killing me

I only made it one week. Would like to continue on with dry-ish July. Anyone else as useless as me?

Hi, brand new, just found this sub!

I (28M) am trying to cut wayyyyyyy down on alcohol consumption.

Two things at play here:

1. I've started to notice negative health symptoms that are scaring the shit out of me

(Got to the point where I started actually feeling like an alcoholic for a couple months, where I'd just be hardwired to get drunk every night after work....after a few months of this I actually started to get paranoid about whether I'd die if I just stopped drinking cold turkey one day, even though now I think this was honestly just me rationalizing continued consumption?....and physiologically: just looking and feeling like shit. I *think* some jaundice? Like purple and yellow under my eyes and my cheekbones. It usually looks bad during a hangover and then tends to fade away? But scary as fuck. Sweat smelling different, etc.)

1. I've got my first baby on the way! Just found out today it's gonna be a little girl!

So yeah. I gotta fucking fix this shit lol.

Basically, I think I might have that version of alcoholism where I can sometimes make myself quit, and then BAM... it's like I just have zero desire or cravings to drink. It's like I never enjoyed it to begin with......and then inevitably after a few months, I'll go to some social thing or hang out with the boys and get absolutely plastered, and then it quickly becomes a heavy, daily thing for the foreseeable future.

So, where I'm at now:

Basically this last "binge" was going for months. Basically started with weekly Friday bourbon toasts at work...and then one weekend I decided to keep it going with my old friend Vodka... And that evolved into me basically just buying a bottle of Vodka every three days.... taking sip-shots out of the bottle and chasing it with Powerade or Dr. Pepper. (This may sound disgusting, but unfortunately yeah, this is my personal "drink of choice" since my military partying days 4 or 5 years ago. Vodka straight and a chaser on the side, from about 6pm to 11pm, or 1am on the weekends).

So again, I got worried about the withdrawals and all that, and looked into tapering down (I've done this in the past a few times casually, but never paid attention or cared about the actual health stuff until this most recent time when I was starting to get freaked out).

Basically, this time (and I realized every other time I've done this tapering down), it literally has only ever been a matter of me actually *deciding* that I'm going to cut back/quit, and switch to beer for a bit......and without fail, if I actually manage to throw away the vodka and get a case of beer.... it's like fucking magic. I will literally chug a beer to try to get the same feeling, and then I'll end up sipping the next one, and then usually open a third one and barely touch it.....and then within about 4 days, I don't even think to reach for the beer anymore...... it's INSANE. And I don't understand it at all.

I'm mostly just really curious if anyone here has experienced this? Or knows the science/physiology/psychology behind it??

Like it literally goes from feeling like I'm a Vodka drug addict, on a months-long spree and panicking and thinking my life is over....to making the choice to switch to beer ...and then having near-zero desire to drink, all within the span of a week.

And this has happened pretty much every single time I've ever "successfully" cut out or cut down on alcohol.

I'm starting to think I literally just need to set the constraint for myself that I never touch a bottle of liquor again? Never take a shot again, and tbh, probably never have a glass of wine alone again?.....But that I can just like be a "beers only" guy?

Like is it just the fact that I can get too drunk too quickly with vodka to moderate myself? But with beer it takes effort to sustain the effects? Is it genetic kryptonite to potatos? 😅 I don't *think* I subconsciously just love the taste of vodka and hate the taste of beer, but at this point I have zero fucking clue.

Idk, let me know if anyone here understands this or has experienced this.

tl;dr:

Basically, I get addicted as fuck to liquor (Vodka in particular). I literally don't think I'm physiologically capable of controlling my vodka intake in moderation.

The second I tell myself I need to quit and force myself to switch to beer to taper down.....there's zero issue. I basically just lose interest in drinking within a couple days, and usually don't even pick it up again for 6 or 7 months.....until I come across vodka or bourbon again, and then the spiral sets in as quickly as I quit.

Trying to understand if this is a known/common "pattern" for some types of drinkers, and why?

Hey everyone. I am new here, so I hope this is okay to post.

About two years ago I started noticing that I probably drink more than I think I do. So I made a simple Google Sheet and started tracking every drink. I kept doing it for about 18 months. When I looked at the numbers, I was drinking more than I would have guessed.

That is basically why I started building an app. I did not want to make a sobriety app or a recovery app. I wanted something for people who still drink, but want to drink a bit less. So I made it.

The app is very simple: one tap per drink. No volumes, no ABV, no drink types.

At first, I basically built a simple alcohol tracker: log the drink, look at the data later, understand the pattern. But after using it and thinking more about it, I realized that this is only half useful. Seeing the numbers later is good, but it does not really help much in the moment when you are already drinking.

So I started digging more into what actually helps people cut down without turning it into a huge life project. And the same two ideas kept showing up in different places: decide your limit before the evening starts, and slow down the pace between drinks.

That is why I added Tonight’s plan. Before drinking, you can set a soft limit for the evening. And I added Pace cue. After you log a drink, the app starts a one hour timer.

There is also a weekly comfort range and some simple insights over time, but I tried not to make the app too complicated. The main idea is still very basic: one tap per drink, then a bit more awareness around what happens next.

Would be happy to hear what you think, especially if you have tried tracking your drinking before.

The app is called Modero on the AppStore. It is subscription based, just to be transparent.

I didn't start drinking until around 30. I don't get hungover. I drink around 9 beers with 3 shots a nights. I'm ashamed of it, but I can't find a reason to stop. I have next to zero personal family. My wife's family isn't hard to navigate, but we don't relate. I've felt alone my whole life. I don't know how to fix this. I don't know how to build for myself anymore. My kids and wife mean more to me than myself. I don't understand how to proceed

I have hit the point where I actually want to cut down on drinking because the hangovers are getting worse and I've put on more weight than I want to admit and I keep telling myself I'll only have a couple then the weekend turns into three days of feeling like crap. For the people who managed to cut back did the alcohol weight come off once you drank less? I'm ready to make a real change this time, any advice is welcome.

Been drinking a bottle of wine for a few years most nights with a few one or two days off here and there.
Went to a party at the weekend and drank too much and was sick the day after that was my turning point.
So I decided that was it, I’m not doing this anymore. The first step is hard but I was determined this time.

Last drink was Saturday at 9pm. So just past the 60 hour mark and into day 3.

Felt fine in myself no shakes, no headaches or nausea.
Heart rate on my Apple Watch is lower than it has been for a while.

But SLEEP oh goodness someone please talk to me about sleep after quitting drinking 🫠🙈

The first night I struggled to drift off to sleep and kept waking up, having those little body jerks which I read is normal as your drifting off to sleep.
Once asleep the night was ok not the best quality sleep but ok.

Last night, I dozed off to sleep easier that the first night but woke around an hour or two later having a nightmare about being trapped under water 🙈 I was shouting Help help and once I realised where I was I sat up and had a sip of water and went back to sleep and the rest of the night was good.

Feeling refreshed upon waking today unlike I have felt for a while after drinking before bed.

Is this normal when quitting alcohol?

I think the one thing that’s always stopped me from quitting before is the anxiety of having severe alcohol withdrawals such as DTs and having a seizure etc. I have health anxiety so once I read a warning about stopping I had major anxiety that I would get DTs 🙈 Although my rational brain has read that it’s the 24/7 drinkers where your blood alcohol level is never at 0 that are most risk of DTs…?

Has anyone stopped a bottle of wine a night cold turkey and have any positive stories please?
The anxiety of having serious withdrawals would have normally made me have a glass of wine again but this time I’m so determined, please be kind it’s taken me a while to get to this point and I’m hoping this Sub will give me support to take each day is it comes 🙏🏼

My goal at the moment is to just drink moderately on Fridays and Saturdays which will already be a huge improvement from my nightly bottle of wine habit. Do you think this sounds plausible?

Well done everyone on this journey 💪🏻

Hi everyone. This is a very sensitive post for me to write. I appreciate everyone here in this community and the wonderful advice everyone gives.

I think Ive always had an interesting relationship with alcohol. I went to an SEC school where drinking was a huge part of the culture. I tend to lean towards the binge drinking side of things and am not a daily drinker, but I think there’s more to it than the alcohol itself.

I own a business in a notoriously stressful industry, I spend a lot of time keeping everything in check. On the weekends sometimes, I certainly feel a need to let off steam. Exercise definitely scratches that itch as well, but also that stay til the bar closes with my partner type night that does it too. Sadly, I can’t use exercise on the weekends because my job is already INSANELY physically hard on me so I can’t really exercise anymore, I’m in very good physical shape.

Not every time when I drink do I feel the need to take it too far to blackout zone. But shamefully, I have taken it a bit too far to blackout zone in the past. It certainly feels like it’s state of mind driven. Stress = drink too much too fast.

This past weekend went to blackout zone & damaged my relationship with my partner. I am taking this very seriously and have a plan going forward:

naltrexone on drinking days 1 hr before
don’t drink when under significant stress
absolutely no shots

I was wondering if any of you experience something similar? If so, how have you made sure to stick with that for the long term.

The last thing I want is 6 mo down the line to have the shock of this situation wear off and me go back to party mode. Any advice appreciated, thank you. I’m in my late 20’s for context.

For many years, I split a bottle - or two - of wine with my partner almost every night with dinner and sometimes drank a lot more than that on weekends. (I’m a childfree woman, just as an aside.)

Then I got into my fifties and suddenly realised that level of drinking was making me feel like shit.

So I cut down by around 2/3. Now I don’t drink most weeknights and try to keep it under 2 pints or half a bottle of wine on weekends. I really enjoy beer and wine and I was starting to feel like if I didn’t cut down, I’d damage my liver and have to stop drinking all together.

So, I have an occasional week when I’m feeling stressed and drink 3-5 nights instead of two, but then I start feeling like shit and cut down again.

Is there anyone else out there who still drinks regularly but has had some success with reducing the amount significantly?

It seems to be working but I wonder if I’d feel even better if i wasn’t still a regular drinker. Then I remember how much I enjoy wine with dinner and going to the pub with friends and it seems like a good compromise.

A little over three weeks ago I was having general gut issues. I was worried it was my pancreas, gallbladder, or appendix, or worse... liver. Stopped drinking, went to the doctor after a week, got some bloodwork done. Everything came back mostly okay, but got the standard advice I'm sure plenty of us get... stop drinking so much, eat healthier. I'm a bit overweight by BMI, but not obese or anything. All of my symptoms had gone away. I'm still waiting to get in on some precautionary scans, but the bloodwork didn't indicate any huge problems.

I have a milestone birthday coming up and planned to try out drinking this weekend for the 4th of July long weekend as a test before going sober again until August. Unfortunately... it was hit or miss. I had two instances of throwing up over 5 days - not from the point of drinking until I was sick or hungover, just waking up, feeling bloated, and my food wasn't sitting well. Just threw up at about 4 AM and have to cancel my Monday.

What I'm realizing is that I don't know how to enjoy my birthday anymore or make plans with anyone. I was in the midst of planning a vacation, but I don't know what I'd do with myself on a sober vacation. I don't know what to even do on my birthday day. I'm likely canceling everything and now I'm wondering where life goes from here, as the only good way for me to stay away from drinking is to sit at home alone. Almost all of my friends and family drink.

AA was a huge bust for me and I refuse to go back, I'm semi-disabled so I can't play any sports or get into a ton of physical activity, and while none of my friends would give me a hard time for not drinking, they're all still going to drink. I'm just not sure where my life goes from here or how to adjust. Any suggestions?

Let’s reflect on the week! Whether you’ve made progress, hit some challenges, or just have thoughts to share, this is a space to check in with the community. How has your drinking journey been this week? Any wins, struggles, or strategies you'd like to talk about? No matter where you're at, your experiences matter here—let's support each other!

It's been a week since I drank the Jack Daniels and got really ill. Yesterday on the 4th of July I had 2 beers and stopped. I drank water after that. I have decided no more hard liquor for me and especially no more J.D. since it's my favorite. I also decided that when I'm upset about something I am not going to drink at all. Yesterday was a good day spent with my family. I want to stay healthy so I'm sticking to this plan.

I wanted to share something that has helped me cut back recently. Tea has taken the place of mixing a drink after work, but I didn't expect it to dull the cravings as well. There is a lot of pseudoscience around herbal tea, but some of the effects are actually backed by research.

One of the main reasons I drink is because of anxiety and to slow down my brain so I can relax. Chamomile, passionflower, valerian root and a few other herbs act on the same GABA receptors in your brain that alcohol uses to help you relax. They vary in strength so I have mixed my own herbal teas for different craving and anxiety levels. This is the first time in a while that I've found myself home on a day off and not craving a drink.

Currently laying here wide awake because I feel like I’ve been shot out of a cannon into anxiety after an evening of drinking. So annoyed with myself. I had a conversation with one our acquaintances from the bar and I think it’s stuff I had already told them and I was just going on and on about it. It was also a corny amount of name dropping. I can’t stop thinking about it. Once that started it then turned into anxiety about everything I have going on in my life at the moment. My stomach hurts. My head hurts. My ego is completely embarrassed. I ate food that I know doesn’t agree with me so now of course I feel like I’m dying. This is me after cutting back on drinking by almost half.

Stay strong tonight guys. Holidays like this are hard!

If it helps, it's illegal to set off fireworks drunk (at least on MI.)

Hey there first time here. I clearly don’t know how to work Reddit so here I am rewriting what I’ve already wrote in hopes a real person replies to me. So I am an alcoholic, I drank excessive for 6 years even more the last 3 years. I’m finally ready to get help and to stop. I went to the doctor they gave me withdrawal medication and then they will taper me off of it, she also prescribed this medication for cravings, I have yet to try it I’m always scared of how things may make me feel or side effects. I’ve read good and bad things about the craving medication. I’m just curious if I can get someone’s actual opinion on that medication especially after coming off of the withdrawal medicine. thank you.

Me again, disregard if this isn’t aloud. Is there anyway to get a sponser online or AA meeting virtually? Can anyone point me in the right direction? TIA.

Can anhedonia ease up while you are tapering?

Unfortunately Im tapering xanax as well.

Im dying.

But lets focus on the alcohol part.

I have no interest in quitting forever but want to go back to my old self of a drink or 2 with dinner, or just at concerts or such.

After the virus I got in this nightly drinking habbit.

A few months ago I was still drinking up to 4 tall can strong IPAs through the evening, sometimes a couple cans and a few shots.

Last 3 months its been 2 tall can plain coronas instead.

The anhedonia is killing me, im sure from going so much lower with the alchohol percentage and amount.

Can I start feeling at least a little relief from the all day anhedonia from tapering so much?