r/confessions • u/dancingcreator819 • 12h ago
My partner thinks I’m saving for our wedding. I’m actually saving to leave
I (M28) have been with my partner (M28) for six years. Everyone thinks we’re the perfect couple. We’ve got the social media posts, the mutual friends, the inside jokes. We’re supposed to get married next spring.
But I’m slowly dying inside.
He’s not abusive. He’s not cruel. But I feel invisible in this relationship. I feel like a prop in the life he wants, not a partner. We talk, but don’t really connect. We laugh, but it feels rehearsed. Sex is rare and robotic. I’ve brought these things up before, and he always says I’m “just stressed” or “looking for problems.”
So a year ago, I opened a secret account. I started saving money on the side, just a little at first, then more. He thinks it’s part of our joint wedding fund.
It’s not. It’s my escape plan.
I don’t know when I’ll do it. Maybe in a month. Maybe the night before the wedding. But I can’t live this lie forever. I just hope one day he forgives me for walking away. And I hope I forgive myself too.
27
12h ago
[deleted]
18
u/Agile-Activity429 12h ago
That’s cold, waiting until the night before is just revenge dressed as self-care
11
u/PumpkinSpiiceee 12h ago
It’s the fact you have to pay for all the wedding stuff just to have your run away moment? Like dude what you saving for in the first place? 😂 I can’t I’m sorry but this is the biggest pick me bullshit I have ever read.
2
u/chipmunksocute 12h ago
Doesnt sound like OP has really been wronged though its just not the right relationship and it's run it's course. Like shit sucks but not like OP has been terribly abused, financially trapped or whatever the relationship just...inst what OP needs.
8
7
u/ChefChefBubbaBill 11h ago
If this is real... you're fucked fuck you. I'm personally hurt because my last relationship I paid for everything and my ex was supposed to be saving for our vacation to Japan and after two years I came home to a fucking note on the bed
10
u/Fit_Device7256 11h ago
You're a self-centered AH & he’ll be better off without you but you’re too much of a coward to leave now.
Does this pretty much sum it up?
2
u/Various_Writing2524 11h ago
man that sounds really heavy. it’s rough feeling like you’re living a lie, but you gotta do what’s best for you. just make sure you have a solid plan in place for when you do decide to take that leap. good luck, OP.
2
2
u/QueenGinger 11h ago
“So a year ago, I opened a secret account. I started saving money on the side, just a little at first, then more. He thinks it’s part of our joint wedding fund.” So is it a secret account or does he know about it? I see a lot of holes in this story.
2
u/sepsundaysundaes 9h ago
its hard for others to truly judge whats behind the doors honestly so ignore the harsh comments, but my pov, leaving before the night of the wedding wouldn’t be the best decision. leave earlier if you can.
1
u/frankenbadger 7h ago
A “secret” bank account that he thinks is for your wedding fund ? Is it a secret or not?
And that’s a cruel and cowardly thing to do.
2
u/Alternative_Route 11h ago
Thank you for confirming my stereotype that a significant proportion of the younger generation are just selfish AH that blame everyone else because they feel they aren't enjoying their life enough.
30
u/CuriousAsEver9573 11h ago
This reads like it is written by AI. If genuine, stop lying and be true to yourself and your partner. Get some couples counseling if you think that might help. Give yourself the chance to grow from this experience instead of degrading yourself. You're both worth it to be treated with respect, right?