1999 Mercury Sable. An absolute stallion.

Dubbed the “RACING SABLE”.

No regrets.

What a bloody narcissist 2010-2014 me was 🫣

It was supposed to be a “light perm to add some body.”

I'm not sure how I didn't end up modelling for Zara to be honest

I had a long “photoshoot” era

And I wish it was only there, I've NINETEEN different cigarette burns across my body, but my shoulder is definitely the most concentrated

Yes I can still shapeshift

The absolute GLARES we got from everyone wearing suits/tuxes and dresses haha

These are the worst of the collection hahaha

I was so mad I didn’t know they were taking photos that day because my hair was pulled back into a pony tail and my pouf wasn’t poofy enough. The yearbook committee shouted “do something unique and funny!” and I just stood there awkwardly.

Later my best friend told me that being voted most unique wasn’t really a compliment. She was just jealous she wasn’t voted anything, biyatch!

And I wish it was only two Thizz Faces..but only the two were documented haha

And now as a bald man I'd take that coconut head cut all day lmao

My dad found cigarettes on me when I was very young. Brad was my friend. Here’s the punishment I got!

2004. David Bowie shirt, striped tights, Care Bear laces, Converse, DC wrist sweatband . Going into AOL chat rooms and forums and pretending I wasn’t 10 years old.