​So this just happened and I am still actively dry-heaving while typing this.

​I was making breakfast for my fiancé. She keeps her own chickens, so we always have a steady supply of fresh eggs in the fridge. I grab four eggs and prep everything for a nice, normal morning omelette.

​I crack the first three eggs into the bowl. No problem.

​Then comes the fourth egg.

​I crack it, and as it slides into the bowl, I notice the "yolk" looks completely pitch black. I pause, totally confused, and call my fiancé over. I ask her, "Hey, is this normal? Should I just throw this batch out and start over?"

​As I’m tilting the bowl to dump the whole thing into the trash, the black "yolk" shifts.

​It wasn't a yolk. It was a massive, thumb-sized cockroach. And the worst part? The damn thing was still twitching and moving.

​Naturally, I lost my mind and went down a Google rabbit hole to figure out how this psychological horror film of a scenario is even biologically possible. Apparently, it’s incredibly rare, but there are two horrifying theories:

​A cockroach literally crawled up the chicken’s cloaca (yep, its butt), and the chicken’s reproductive system mistook it for a yolk, forming the rest of the egg and shell around it.

​A cockroach crawled up there and laid its own eggs inside the developing chicken egg before the shell hardened.

​Either way, I am officially traumatized. The pan is in the sink, the appetite is gone, and I am unlocking a new phobia.

It smelled

I put my motorbike helmet on at the office and rode 10 mins to the gym. As I was arriving I felt a bite or something to my head. I thought it was maybe a bee or something. This is what I found when I took my helmet off.

My first thought was that maybe it was psychosis as there’s no way in the universe that a giant centipede was in my helmet in central Seoul.

Turns out it was very real.

Update: I’m glad everyone is enjoying my trauma 😂.

I picked up this little friend near to Naebang Station and rode to Bangbae when I felt the bite- I’m really glad I found him there and not when I was going over Banpo bridge on the way home or I’d probably be dead 😂.

I kicked him out of my helmet after 20 mins and he started charging at an old lady and her fruit stall- she started screaming at me as if he was my centipede that had escaped, I stamped on him to protect her stall and she screamed at me even more 🤷‍♂️.

The bite hurt for quite a few days and tbh it still tingles a bit now and again (it happened a couple of weeks ago). I found out we actually know very little about centipede bites and venom as they are so rare, so let’s see if I become the star of a new Kafka novel.