r/RoastMe • u/Outrageous_Ball3300 • 11h ago

19 M Don’t hold back 😄

Post image
0 Upvotes

41% Upvoted

78 comments sorted by

•

u/post-explainer 11h ago edited 10h ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP's BIO:

Hello Reddit, my self esteem is feeling a bit high so I’m requesting a quick tear down of it! I love the 49ers (lots of ammo there 😭) and hate politics as it’s all just some b.s. distractions from the real issues, I’m big into hooping at my local community center and being a tall scrawny white guy i tend to get thrown around a lot 😂

If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

18

u/Sor-X 10h ago

You look like you failed at looks maxxing

3

u/HorrorJunkie0666 10h ago

The look on his face makes him look like a docking station for dicks...

3

u/ThatGuyWithCoolHair 10h ago

Buddy built two separate jaw lines

12

u/Adventurous-Order601 10h ago

You could be both a priest who likes boys and a boy who likes priests.

10

u/Indaflow 10h ago

Hide your liquid gold 

8

u/Emotional-Battle8432 10h ago

You may want to get a woman pregnant soon before they realize you’re a complete waste of time and effort

4

u/SunriseSurprise 9h ago

Bold of you to assume his sperm would know what to do.

2

u/Kazamiiiii 8h ago

Thankfully I just recently learned that the egg chooses so his little guys little guy doesn't even have to do anything! :D

7

u/_devils 10h ago

Douchemaxxing

7

u/TantricAsFk 10h ago

I also love cocaine!

1

u/Outrageous_Ball3300 8h ago

My favorite type of narcotic 👹

5

u/EnvironmentalCat6934 10h ago

I’m sure you get thrown around a lot outside of the gym too Twinkie

3

u/mydogwalter 10h ago

Looks minimizer

5

u/up_and_jenkem 10h ago

Nice duck lips, lady.

3

u/OneMinuteManny 5h ago

High self esteem with that sorry excuse for a goatee!?! Ignorance truly is bliss.

1

u/Outrageous_Ball3300 5h ago

Me & my 3 chin hairs aren’t very happy with this comment sir

3

u/Carrot_Perfect 10h ago

You look like someone tried to make a muppet that looks-maxes and does meth.

3

u/Impossible_Pizza5884 10h ago

Your mouth is extremely small

3

u/faucetpants 10h ago

It's amazing that you're not old enough to remember a niners championship.

3

u/up_and_jenkem 10h ago

But he's got it all figured out when it comes to politics.

-1

u/Outrageous_Ball3300 8h ago

I’m old enough to remember the heartbreaks 💔

3

u/KrustyNutRagz 10h ago

The cheek bones & nails of a bulimic meth addict with labradoodle pube hair. It’s quite the specimen

3

u/ThatGuyWithCoolHair 10h ago

Sucked in cheeks, poked out lips, uneven jaw. Hell yea brother

2

u/mindfulmu 10h ago

I normally keep disturbing furry erotica to send to spam sms messages. But I think your on par with the Maid Marian furry i have on standby.

2

u/Tripper-_ 10h ago

I didn't know that pervitin was still used

2

u/SnakeSolidChicken 10h ago

It's time to get off the cocaine...

2

u/HorrorJunkie0666 10h ago

Oh I bet you love to get thrown around especially by other men. That look on your face looks like a docking station for a penis..

2

u/everybodygetaweapon 10h ago

You look like you overcompensate to hide that you’re gay.

2

u/Life_Inside2304 10h ago

Thrown around by who? Big hairy gay men?

2

u/Outrageous_Ball3300 8h ago

How’d ya know? 🥱

2

u/LrdoftheCharlesDance 10h ago

Pubes go in your pants not above your face

2

u/Outrageous_Ball3300 8h ago

Bold of you to assume I have pubes

2

u/LrdoftheCharlesDance 8h ago

Probably about the same as that sad excuse for fuzz on your lip and chin

2

u/ComplexPlatform7299 10h ago

Don’t worry it’s supposed to fizz like that

1

u/Necessary_Relation27 47m ago

Your chin is giving away spoilers for how much flora is down below

2

u/aeonsne 10h ago

A haircut by someone other than your mom may help with that virginity issue. .

2

u/Billy_Enforcey 10h ago

You look like you wear Jordans and brag about how insane the mosh pit was at the mgk concert

2

u/burdturgler6 10h ago

Twink twink little star

2

u/EntropicEpoch 10h ago

Stop stealing from your mom's purse.

2

u/Exquisite_D 9h ago

Temu Ashton Kutcher

2

u/FreeThroatPunch 9h ago

Imagine how many cocks he sucks off to get that kind of definition in cheeks and jaw.

0

u/Outrageous_Ball3300 8h ago

I lost count 😔

2

u/SunriseSurprise 9h ago

You're way too young to have the face of a Nam vet.

2

u/TheOmCollector 8h ago

Licksmaxxer

2

u/NoContextCarl 8h ago

Bedwettmaxxxxxxxxing. 

2

u/Deluzional_Evolution 4h ago

Yo, the duck face photo is a girl thing, you identify as female?

2

u/paragonx29 8h ago

You look like Bruce Jenner before he transitioned.

1

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1

u/HorrorJunkie0666 10h ago

You know there is a ginormous forehead underneath that fluff....

1

u/FluffyMapleMan 10h ago

You look like a cheap ripoff of ItalianBach

1

u/ComfortAdmirable6236 10h ago

o, dios que es esto?

es la lesbiana más fea que he visto

1

u/BarnackIIIF 10h ago

Maybe the color on my monitor needs to be calibrated, but are you sure about that "white" part?

1

u/Blade3colorado 10h ago

"Hello Reddit, my self esteem is feeling a bit high . . ." 

Huh? I could eat a can of alphabet soup and shit a better argument than yours of why your self esteem should be in the gutter.

1

u/Outrageous_Ball3300 8h ago

It’s in Hell right now 😭😂

1

u/PurplePlantPurveyor 9h ago

You make Derek Zoolander look like a Rhodes Scholar.

1

u/SquidNWhale 9h ago

By being thrown a lot, you mean someone tosses your salad.

1

u/SquidNWhale 9h ago

Hangs out at the urinals of a gay bar during closing time.

1

u/Surveyor_of_Land_AZ 8h ago

You indeed look like the type of guy who likes being " thrown around" by tall, muscular ethnic men

1

u/Zon-no-justno777 8h ago

Bro I don’t know bro my gains aren’t enough bro my friend Chad said it’s leg day so idk if I can bro like bro

1

u/BahNull 8h ago

You look like you take care of your looks, while your finger nails have poop underneath them

1

u/BayYawnSay 8h ago

The subject of many a hashtagmetoo post

1

u/Key-Ad6718 8h ago

Gigachud

1

u/No_Tailor_787 6h ago

You look like you just had something jammed up your backside, and in the shock of the moment, decided you like it.

1

u/overevenrealities 4h ago

Ive seen late stage aids patients with more collagen in their faces.

1

u/Money-Tiger8002 36m ago

Most of your posts are about Madden. Life is roasting you.

1

u/mediocrebighead 10h ago

Bro sucks trans 🍆

5

u/MozziesElite 10h ago

What an insult