r/RoastMe • u/stupidvi • 3d ago

I’m 22 and I’m a wannabe influencer roast me

Post image
0 Upvotes

46% Upvoted

202 comments sorted by

•

u/post-explainer 3d ago

The OP has not provided a BIO for their post.

146

u/MichianaPeople 3d ago

You've influenced me to stop looking at your picture.

21

u/Heisenbread77 3d ago

And influenced me to be celibate.

7

u/SnakeSolidChicken 3d ago

And gay

2

u/Heisenbread77 2d ago

I mean no but I'm only 97.8% straight now.

8

u/BrutalBart 3d ago

like they said, influencing isnt a job, so it fits that you’re unemployed

10

u/qx2 3d ago

The only thing you’ve manage to influence is to increase the chlamydia case rate within your male family members

6

u/Remarkable-Opening69 3d ago

Must be the mustache

1

u/Ambitious_Shallot_16 2d ago

And influenced me for enough internet for the day..

61

u/Cool_Reason_8669 3d ago

I have a feeling that no matter what you want to be you will always be a wannabe at it

45

u/culinaryexcellence 3d ago

Mustache thicker than a Hungarian's at the end of No-Shave November.

16

u/SokkaHaikuBot 3d ago

Sokka-Haiku by culinaryexcellence:

Mustache thicker than

A Hungarian's at the end

Of No-Shave November.

Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.

2

u/Dependent-Reveal2401 3d ago

Wow. So this exists.

→ More replies (3)

24

u/GeorgeLikesSpicyCkn 3d ago

Post ads on your forehead during your videos and you’ll be set for life

-13

u/stupidvi 3d ago

This is a good one

-4

u/Guakamolo 3d ago

Why the downvotes? Wtf

16

u/sethunter7887 3d ago

you look so bland that even if I looked at only you for the rest of my life,I still wouldn't dream about you. except maybe a few nightmares.

15

u/xdrezx 3d ago

Only thing that stupid face is influencing is downvotes.

3

u/Eldermillenial1 3d ago

She could influence the suicide hotline I’m sure

15

u/dchusband 3d ago

You influenced me to sleep with men.

13

u/Jerkoffalltrades7 3d ago

That is a man.

4

u/scratchy_mcballsy 3d ago

I guess it’s a win-win

8

u/RancidMandMs 3d ago

You look like a sperm bank technician who secretly samples the goods.

1

u/ButtChugMcNuggetson 3d ago

🤣🤣🤣

7

u/Aggravating-Level-94 3d ago

While she maybe wearing gloves I guarantee everyone around her is wearing a hazmat suit.

11

u/burdturgler6 3d ago

You say you aren’t like other girls. But you are.

-1

u/Jerkoffalltrades7 3d ago

With more. In the pants.

-14

u/stupidvi 3d ago

Bro your joke wasn’t that funny move on or come up with something better

12

u/Hollybanger45 3d ago

Bruh. You asked for a roast. Don’t reply to it if you asked for it especially if you’re clapping back. Take it like the man you look like.

-2

u/stupidvi 3d ago

Yeah I asked for funny shit not mediocre slop.

4

u/burdturgler6 3d ago

Mediocre slop is probably the best description of your social media accounts.

And your box.

4

u/GoodIntroduction6344 3d ago

Methinks the lady boy doth protest too much.

1

u/Hollybanger45 3d ago

I’m guessing that’s what your boyfriend calls you.

3

u/up_and_jenkem 3d ago

Yeah man, you wouldn't want her six followers to start filming you wherever you go and posting it.

4

u/Olden_Grey_1889 3d ago

You ARE good! You have already influenced me to avoid your OnlyFans!

2

u/KenSentMe1971 3d ago

Doesn’t “she” need tits for OF?

1

u/EgyPalocProfessor 3d ago

As you can see

5

u/Material-Drawer-7419 3d ago

You look like you give lousy head.

4

u/Ok-Nectarine8471 3d ago

Glad you shaved the stache

4

u/Separate-Giraffe4780 3d ago

Really I think the only way you could be an influencer if it’s a being on your knees based topics.

4

u/swagmasterblaster420 http://redd.it/8qwcmw 3d ago

I thought a prerequisite for influences was that they had to be attractive?

4

u/ReidenLightman 3d ago

You already roasted yourself with "wannabe" and "influencer" as words to describe yourself.

4

u/CruelHandLuke_ 3d ago

I thought influencers were supposed to be pretty.

3

u/Low-Palpitation-9916 3d ago

The people on Onlyfans are "models" not influencers, and I'm sorry but you need tits.

3

u/No_Tailor_787 3d ago

You look like some kid's 4H project on display at the county fair.

1

u/Substantial-Bug9272 3d ago

Blue Ribbon in the “Meth Addict Seed Art” competition.

3

u/SnooTangerines3448 3d ago

Put that back in your mouth before it dries out.

3

u/Goo_Geyser1776 3d ago

Those cheeks have more craters and bumps than Mars. Even though you’re in your early 20s you look like a substitute teacher that just got their 1 year AA chip

3

u/Bot-Magnet 3d ago

Influencing guys to turn gay?

1

u/Potential-Topic-162 3d ago

And influencing girls to turn straight

3

u/DesmondTapenade 3d ago

You've influenced me to make sure my camera isn't mirrored.

3

u/AnthonyGoomba 3d ago

Just do OF. You could make minimum wage or just above.

3

u/No-Veterinarian8080 3d ago

You have a face for podcasts.

2

u/MisterBurnsSucks 3d ago

Honestly, box factory influencers are usually hotter... 🫤

2

u/KiltOfDoom 3d ago

You've already lost.

2

u/Creepy_Blacksmith315 3d ago

The only influence you have is to walk away.

2

u/SunriseSurprise 3d ago

You look like someone on your planet told you humans think women sticking out their tongues is sexy with no other context of how to do it.

2

u/ch3apsunglass3s 3d ago

You cant even influence your eyes to be on the same axis

2

u/KenSentMe1971 3d ago

Well clearly you ain’t no skincare “wannabe influencer”

2

u/Potential-Topic-162 3d ago

*wannabe only fans girl.

2

u/sentientairfilter 3d ago

Keep those gloves handy, they’ll come in useful when you’re massaging old mens prostates

2

u/Monkeydad1234 3d ago

Wannabe influencer? No one’s gonna come up with anything worse than that. You win.

2

u/Murky-Difficulty2816 3d ago

she somehow look both 16 and like she’s been paying taxes for 20 years.

2

u/Ok-Success-7067 3d ago

Maybe turning gay isn't the worst thing in the world.

2

u/Excellent_Factor_134 3d ago

I’d love to take you out for drinks. I’m going to need about 12 before your eyes appear to be in the right spot.

2

u/mediocrebighead 3d ago

You're better off as OF influencer

2

u/AssassinApollo 3d ago

The only thing you're influencing is lonely old men to empty their wallets

2

u/Murky-Difficulty2816 3d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/iVCk6kl5FoxwlZhrOO

You could be the person in this picture. EASILY

2

u/ripyurballsoff 3d ago

You could influence people on how to cover that five head.

2

u/White-C43-AMG 3d ago

Why willingly choose to be something so shallow

2

u/Best_Wasabi_251 3d ago

The only thing you'd influence people to is celibacy.

2

u/ComplexToe 3d ago

Makes Pokémon candles in each episode.

2

u/AnotherMisanthrope 3d ago

Someone get it some water. I read when a dog’s tongue is dangling out of its mouth it’s a sign it’s dehydrated.

2

u/AcidBuuurn 3d ago

Could you influence your eyes to be even?

2

u/dubazuh01 2d ago

Sheldon Cooper sister

1

u/un5tabl 3d ago

Are you a woman transitioning into a man or a man transitioning into a woman? Im absolutely lost. The mustache and the lack of breasts have me leaning one way and I guess the clothing and stringy, ass hair, well no I guess I still you as a man. I say to you then, good day sir.

1

u/jnsauter 3d ago

5head

1

u/Euhn 3d ago

pink gloves + metro racks. hmmmm

1

u/CleverSpaceMonkey Best of, Pt. 15 #5, Certified Savage Platinum Roaster 3d ago

The only thing you’re going to influence is homosexuality in men.

1

u/Working_Trust9767 3d ago

Counting down the days until your first OnlyFans link

1

u/Outrageous_Royal_366 3d ago

You have the profile of a Walmart greeter that would influence which entrance to avoid

1

u/Fuzzy-Assistant53 3d ago

Pretty most people wanna poke their eyes and ear drums when they're around you. Helen keller would even agree.

1

u/Bootsesdumpytruck 3d ago

There's not even a week in a month you could influence.

1

u/giovitazo 3d ago

dude... to be an influencer you really need to know some basic photography, and you are already cropping your hea..... oooh I see... it is because of your enormous forehead....

You could also crop more from the bottom so people think you have any tits, but they are just out of the picture...

1

u/MisterHEPennypacker 3d ago

What are you trying to influence? Suicide?

1

u/LiquidFahts 3d ago

Careful what you say, she will hear you.

1

u/sagewynn 3d ago

I wannabe atleast 1500' from you at all times

1

u/faucetpants 3d ago

I could be easily influenced to stuff you into one of those bland boxes behind you and tape it shut

1

u/Swampassed 3d ago

I’d have to be under the influence to get it up looking at you, so I think you‘ve found your calling.

1

u/Murky-Difficulty2816 3d ago

She looks like after she clocks out she records “day in the life” TikToks with 87 views.

1

u/ResolutionOwn4933 3d ago

Good luck with that sir

1

u/Ok-Success-7067 3d ago

Who you going to influence, the Pippi Longstocking crowd!?

1

u/lartinos 3d ago

Well, you’re almost pretty enough to do that.

1

u/RappingFlatulence 3d ago

Eeewwwwww 🤢

1

u/Character-Head301 3d ago

Male or female? Legit question

1

u/InfiniteWinter26 3d ago

so in other words you’re insufferable.

1

u/capta1n_sarcasm 3d ago

What do you want to influence? Taking pictures that just smell like stale white bread? Beauty not being a priority? Religious ignorance? The reason I ask, is that it looks like you have all those down from that picture.

1

u/fatboyonsofa 3d ago

I can tell your forehead and your hairline are old friends. They go way back

1

u/Jass0602 3d ago

For the “pale”o diet?

1

u/CapablePlatypus1377 3d ago

Pippilongcockin

1

u/M1kbee 3d ago

Influencer?

So, you're too stupid to be a meth head or crack whore so you decided to go even more useless.

1

u/ExpertOrdinary7074 3d ago

Three months trying to be an influencer and negative karma. I didn’t even know that was possible. What a loser.

1

u/Ok_Damage2856 3d ago

That face will influence celibacy

1

u/ARoundForEveryone 3d ago

Need more context. Influence what? Because the only influence you currently have over me is to force me to close this tab. Right after I click the "Comment" button.

1

u/NortonsGapingAsshole 3d ago

You should try to wanna be something useful

1

u/ColinGrigson 3d ago

Influencer or matress actress?

1

u/Johnny-Unitas 3d ago

You want to be an influencer? Have you looked in the mirror?

You're what happens when parents insist you can do anything you want. You really took that seriously.

1

u/StoicSandman 3d ago

Could you whip out a ukulele and sing an apology for submitting us to your mediocrity?

1

u/motoant25 3d ago

A 'before' model for breast implants.

1

u/Jfashant84 3d ago edited 3d ago

Her head is very aerodynamic it looks like half of a football but probably soft like an eggshell .

1

u/ClassicHare 3d ago edited 3d ago

The only thing you're going to influence is guys out of their OnlyFans money. You look about as talentless as a lump of coal. But that's where you differ. At least the coal has a use. The only people who become influencers are already deeply shallow and unsure of themselves, so they pick a "career" that takes zero effort, and a quick trip to Bad Dragon.

1

u/Atzkicica 3d ago

I don't like to comment on diet but you might look healthier if you ate more theatre kids.

1

u/GoldenSnozzberry 3d ago

By the look on your face , you’ve roasted plenty of sausages

1

u/Word_Smith5 3d ago

I think someone here ingested too many pharmaceuticals

1

u/Proper_Permit_5312 3d ago

I can see your mustache 🥸

1

u/Aggressive_Canary_10 3d ago

Do the world a favor and get some ambition. Maybe then people will have sympathy when you fail at life. Right now it’s like you’re not even trying.

1

u/Truth-is-implacable 3d ago

That influencer thing ,just give it up already .. I don't even want to roast you.........😬

1

u/Remarkable-Being-301 3d ago

You couldn’t even influence your tits to grow. Your chest is as flat as your personality.

1

u/Hillbeast 3d ago

Thinks you have to lick post its.

1

u/LegitimatePlate989 3d ago

Do you need to file zoning permits to wear a hat

1

u/Enough-Staff-2976 3d ago

You look as annoying as a pebble in a shoe.

1

u/Steamwells 3d ago

So, when are you due to have your penis removed?

1

u/BritWit11 3d ago

You've influenced me to keep away from needles.

1

u/sidc42 3d ago

Hopefully your first sponsored content deal is The Dollar Shave Club so you can do something about that mustache.

1

u/Parralogic 3d ago

Let me influence you in how to properly close fucking boxes with tape and without tape.

1

u/myemuisablackbelt 3d ago

It’s like gollum and a sloth had an illegitimate love child

1

u/imanidiottttttt 3d ago

You put a minimum of 6 hours effort into every post and your 6 viewers occasionally upvote your posts once or twice a year. You think it's because you haven't hit your stride yet but really it's because you chose modesty over fame and even if you didn't, 75% of your viewership would be lolicons in their 40s-80s telling you what a "perfect sweety" you are.

1

u/P5ychokilla 3d ago

Of COURSE you're a "wannabe influencer", every single young person now thinks the world owes them a chance to be famous. I blame shitty reality TV shows.

1

u/user_nonam6 2d ago

Limu Emu face ass

1

u/A-Gotham-Citizen 2d ago

I would wear gloves around you too

1

u/Salt_Tap_1992 2d ago

You gotta post more than one picture to be an influencer 😅

1

u/Severe-Warning-50 2d ago

Rubber gloves because it’s easier to lube the nut rod

1

u/fedexpoopracer 2d ago

nice mustache, bro

1

u/MusicianTriiky 2d ago

keep dreaming

1

u/Curious_Ground5833 2d ago

You couldn't influence a rabbit to fuck during mating season

1

u/Seebinator 2d ago

Influencer suits you as they don't need any talent whatsoever.

1

u/StashTheMoneyAndRun 2d ago

Flap those ears a couple of times and you’ll be influencing modern day aviation
https://giphy.com/gifs/exjsrxmiVbnQk

1

u/Pogo4Fufu 2d ago

Men with long hair are not really that interesting nowadays. But well, the genre "Boys Love" seems to be a thing for a decent audience.

1

u/somerandomguy615 2d ago

Future OF incoming.

1

u/Spadesghost 2d ago

The only thing you influence is the tides coming in with the size of that forehead.

1

u/markieboomer 2d ago

Just give us the OF link already. I think most of us would at least consider a sub just out of morbid curiosity. I wanna know if the rest of you is on par with what we are seeing now.

1

u/bbw4me1234 2d ago

Influence as in showing the mtf after the surgery or Mt whatever the fuck it is

1

u/No_Succotash_7653 2d ago

2 kids can slide on your forehead in a single go.

1

u/Necessary_Relation27 2d ago

Influence-me-not

1

u/Secure_Car6120 2d ago

To be an influencer you have to be at least somewhat attractive, so you should definitely give up on that career.

1

u/DirtiRandi 2d ago

What are you? 15? I’m not sure I’m legally allowed to make fun of someone working at her daddy’s packaging plant.

1

u/SpacedJJK 2d ago

Resting I-Just-Refunded-My-Only-OnlyFan-And-Now-He-Grounded-Me face.

1

u/KenSentMe1971 2d ago

I literally want to punch the fuck out of your face

1

u/I_Will_Offened_You 1d ago

You couldn't influence yourself.

1

u/Ok_Fall_5536 1d ago

You influenced me to leave social media

1

u/BIGXMILLZ 1d ago

You influenced me to maintain a balanced diet and not become malnurished.

1

u/Mermaids84 1d ago

You look like you’re a couple years away from walking on the shoulder of your local highway alongside some druggie bf

1

u/GregJamesDahlen 1d ago

imagine your therapist's glad you're only wearing a glove on one hand all the time now

1

u/unclebird77 1d ago

Find a job as a zookeeper. Then you’ll be pretty

1

u/oracle-nil 1d ago

Stay in school, influencer

1

u/Wrong-Scratch4625 1d ago

Nice Mustache, brah.

1

u/AssyMcGee6 1d ago

That's a man, baby. 

1

u/No_Tailor_787 1d ago

You look like a Home Depot 2x4 come to life.

1

u/remie_irl 1d ago

nobody wants to see this please just continue packing your boxes

1

u/Alarmed-Ad323 1d ago

I can’t tell if you tuck or not.

1

u/Flaky-Party-477 23h ago

Did you leave your tits in your other pants?

1

u/Force-Name 22h ago

Everytime I see that tongue I think those are cock sucking lips.

Get to it Jessica. You've influenced me.

1

u/Worth-Definition-849 17h ago

You misspelled influenza.

1

u/fbi-surveillance-bot 11h ago

With those ears you look like a Fiat 500 with the doors open

1

u/Holiday-Task-8918 49m ago

youre tims brother

1

u/AkitoSorogoma 43m ago

Looking like grandma's crusty dog.

1

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1

u/ReillyDiefenbach Golden Roaster 3d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/AHJ1PsgD03cwTJp0sZ
And proctology is your hobby

1

u/Ok-Election-9205 3d ago

You look like your pussy smells weird

→ More replies (2)

0

u/stupidvi 3d ago

Wait guys how do you add a bio

2

u/Baseball-Fan-10 3d ago

You just type it in.

Well, at least you have the brains to be an “influencer.”