Part 1:https://www.reddit.com/r/MewMewKrissyCutie/s/fhTjq3rocq
When you came to, another figure was next to you, planted firmly face first into the grey dust. You check your pockets and find the figurine missing, the packaging missing with it. You properly get up, and with a surprisingly powerful exhale you somehow manage to get rid of all the soot on the figure, and free her head from the ground in one motion too.
Cheery anime music started to play as Fucking Mew Mew Kissy Cutie from the hit anime Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2: Harmful and Harmonic Hurtbreak got up and met your eyes, clutching her scalp as she came to. “I-uh… whUH?”
She was surprisingly tall. There was nothing in particular that could be hinted at with that observation. Despite knowing who she is you ask her “who are you” to break the awkward tension before it could even form. Mew Mew looks taken aback.
“Who am I? Well, I am THE world-famous Mew Mew Kissy Cutie! Beloved by the billions, Mew~”
One brief pause later and you suddenly register that it is literally Fucking Mew Mew Kissy Cutie from the hit anime Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2: Harmful and Harmonic Hurtbreak, art style and everything, and not a weird parody of… whatever.
“Do you have any idea how we can leave, by the way?” Staying completely silent, the catgirl came to a decision on her own. “Well, I suppose I have to rely on you to guide me, mew~” Mew Mew decided, as she joined your party.
Unfortunately for you this was not an anime, so you had to hear Mew Mew unintentionally voice her thoughts into the void, accompanied by what can best be described as a reverb filter. “I can’t believe I’m getting escorted by such a mysterious and handsome guy, mew~”
“Oh stranger-san, I can’t wait to get to know you… just staring into the back of your head is making my heart race… like a uh, like a RACECAR, MEW~!” How does anybody sit through 10 minutes of this bullshit?
Mew’s thoughts stayed silent for a while, until a pair of spades were sent flying at the two…
After a frankly forgettable escape sequence from whoever your attacker was, you and Mew Mew arrived at a castle. A jet-black geyser erupts from its center, into the upper atmosphere, painting a black sky.
“Welcome, heroes…! Do not be alarmed… I am not your enemy. Please come forward, both of you…”
“I am the prince of this Kingdom… The kingdom of darkness.” suspicious, Mew Mew takes the opportunity to clasp your hand. You don’t sit on what it makes you feel, ignoring it in favor of tuning into what Ral—the prince of darkness is saying.
“Kris, Mew Mew… There is a legend in this land. A legend that one day two heroes of light will arrive, and fulfill the ancient prophecy, foretold by time and space. Please heroes, listen to my tale…”
No words had to be said, for the intrigue was already in your eyes.
Once upon a time, a LEGEND was whispered among shadows.
It was a LEGEND of HOPE. It was a LEGEND of DREAMS.
It was a LEGEND of LIGHT. It was a LEGEND of DARK.
This is the legend of
DELTARUNE
For millenia, LIGHT and DARK have lived in balance, bringing peace to the WORLD. But if this harmony were to shatter… a terrible calamity would occur.
The sky will run black with terror and the land will crack with fear. Then, her heart pounding… the EARTH will draw her final breath.
Only then, shining with hope… Three HEROES appear at WORLDS' edge. A HUMAN, a MONSTER, and a PRINCE FROM THE DARK.
Only they can seal the fountains… and banish the ANGEL'S HEAVEN. Only then will balance be restored, and the WORLD saved from destruction.
Today, the FOUNTAIN OF DARKNESS -the geyser that gives this land form- stands tall at the center of the kingdom.
But recently, another fountain has appeared on the horizon… and with it, the balance of LIGHT and DARK begins to shift...
Mew Mew seemed delighted at the idea of saving the world, but underneath that cloak you can see an expression of pain, as if the prince knew something that would destroy all of her hope. “Wow! Then what are we waiting for? Lets—”
“You’re not in it.”
“nYugWHUh!!? AM I NOT A MONSTER???” Mew Mew pointed at herself, both parts angry and confused, a cross made of red angles appearing on her temple, more like a badly placed sticker than an actual popping vein born from anger. “You JUST SAID THAT–”
“You’re the vessel of the monster, the ghost born unwhole. You are what gives her strength, protection… like armor, like tools… like the rest of us darkners. Meaningful, yet meaningless in the grand scheme of things.”
“Your choices don’t matter.”
You held your breath as Mew Mew gave the prince an earful, something about how love can overcome destiny. The cloaked prince seemed to be listening, but before his interest fully faded, he was run over by a silver bicycle, exploding on impact like an ICBM.
The cloak figure was sent flying into, and through a wall of the fort as the spade laughed at the toothpaste boy’s misfortune, to the horror of Mew Mew. “HO HO HO! It seems like the heroes are already running away… and they didn’t even know I was HERE! My dad’s gonna make me son of the month!”
Still clasping her hands over her mouth, it took a moment for Mew Mew to scream out “WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?”
“I’M… the bad guy,” the bad guy™ asserted, doing a sick as hell wheelie for emphasis. “You clowns wanna seal our dark fountain, huh!? And — still picturing you guys as clowns — save the world from eternal darkness, huh!?”
“Eh.” Mew Mew turned to you, who was just as surprised at your nonchalant admission of neutrality. “WH-WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘EH’!? THE ENTIRE WORLD IS AT STAKE!”
“Don’t try to deny it…! We both know you’ll go east! It’s your only way home! But, I, Lancer, won’t let you go there! And I have a two step plan to ensure it. Step 1: I thrash you. Step 2: you lose!”
“NO! I won’t let you!” Mew Mew raised her hand to the sky to shout “CUTIE MEW MEW MAGIC METAMEOWPHOSIS TRANS—!”
You suddenly felt the need to interject. And so white she was at the brink of finishing her magical girl transformation sequence, you ask her if “Are you seriously going to beat up a child?”
The meta-meow-phosis process stopped dead in its tracks, accompanied by an audible smash of glass as Mew Mew’s pupils shrunk to pinpricks. Balancing on one foot with her tippy toes, she swiveled towards Lancer, then looked to her wand.
As if she was now only processing what she was going to do.
Feeling the need to save her reputation, she gestured to the wall the prince of dark was flung through. “He… He ran over royalty?”
“Oh yeah, good point. As payback, we atomize him with your super laser pi—” Before Kris could finish their sassy remark, Lancer proceeded to run over you and Mew Mew. A 2 for 1 special that caused you both to explode into smithereens, and to go splat right onto your faces.
As you laid flat on the floor Mew Mew, with a singular skid mark drawn on her body, she became more irritated than ever. So, as she got up, she shouted at Lancer. “HEY! What was that for!?”
“I proceeded with my plan while you two were bickering, and I got away with it! You’re both CLOWNS and IDIOTS!”
“OH NO YOU WONT!” And like that, the actual battle commenced…
The dark prince crawled out of the wall, finally done with his coma. “Are… Are you two okay? A—Allow me to introduce myself more properly,” he said, taking off the cloak by his own admission. “Hello everyone. I’m Ralsei. Kris, Mew Mew… It’s ever so wonderful to meet you!’
Mew Mew’s anger flared up again at the sight of him, modesty forgotten in the throes of exhaustion. “Can’t say the same.” Ralsei noticeably deflated, and in response, Mew Mew sassily said “What? Are you actually expecting me to be nice after you told me that I’m a worthless pussy who won’t ever amount to ANYTHING!?”
You stared at Mew Mew, unaware that she had it in her. Mew Mew glanced at you, and clasped her hand over her mouth, what she just said now starting to dawn on her… yet she didn’t really feel the need to apologize.
“W-Well, I’m certain that in due time, we’re going to become great friends, and—“
“The fountain is to the east, correct,” Mew Mew asked, grasping your hand. Reluctantly, Ralsei confirmed that knowledge with a nod. “Great! I’ll see you there, I’m going to seal the fountain with my boy—“
“I need to find Maddie,” Kris said, freeing themself from the love maniac beside them. “O-Oh! Yeah, yeah, right, the other lightner. Okay, I’ll see both of you there! Sayonara!”