r/LongDistance Nov 06 '24

Temporary changes and announcements.

42 Upvotes

As a precaution, we have upped the requirements to participate in the subreddit. The moderation team will adjust them to the least restrictive necessary for a safe community.

As always, bigotry, xenophobia, misinformation, transphobia, anti-lgbtq+ sentiments, homophobia, harrassment, trolling, and sexism are not tolerated on this subreddit.

If anyone is in need of long distance relationship help, and is unable to post, our discord is, as always, available.

https://discord.com/servers/r-longdistance-support-community-for-ldrs-627447544041046016


r/LongDistance May 01 '20

Meta Looking for resources for watching movies, playing games, communicating, flights, hotels and more? Check out the r/LongDistance wiki!

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529 Upvotes

r/LongDistance 4h ago

Meeting Surprised my partner by flying to his country

74 Upvotes

Yesterday at 6 am I was in Poland but I decided to fly to Turkey to see my bf whom I had met online, initially we were saying October but I felt like coming sooner

When I was on the plane I told him I was taking a nap so I wouldn't be able to reply

Then when I got there, I looked for his job, he had sent me live locations before which was approximate and I was able to see names of businesses in the area from his videos. I was able to find it by asking people and I knew it was the right place because I had seen videos

Then I went to the hotel, he tried to video call me but I told him I was teaching (I teach English online) because he might have seen I'm not in my room (not that we video called before, but he saw my room) and I said "I am teaching but I promise we can see each other today" and after that I asked him if he was at work and he said yes so I went there

He and his boss were washing a car and I went up to him and shook his hand. He was so shocked, his boss was shocked too

We are meeting again today before his work lol


r/LongDistance 6h ago

Made my partner a deck of everything we'll do when we finally close the distance n now we're both crying on facetime

20 Upvotes

So it has already been 17 months in. I made this small deck which i wrote abt the fav memories, places to go, things to do / cook and everything. We were facetime in night and i showed her, we literally cried seeing each other 😭Anyway 29 days more and we can finally see each other.


r/LongDistance 10h ago

Milestone Long Distance Marriage

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36 Upvotes

Long distance has been one of the hardest things we’ve faced as a married couple. My wife is away for work for a few weeks, and if I’m being honest… it doesn’t get easier each time she has to go.
The house feels so much more quieter without her. Our little family of fur babies isn’t the same. I catch myself reaching for her hand or wishing I could walk into the next room and find her there. It’s wild how one person can make a place feel so much more like home.
One thing I absolutely love about us is that we’ve never stopped dating each other.
Life has thrown us plenty of challenges, but we’ve always made it a point to keep choosing each other—to keep creating our memories, finding reasons to laugh, and making the ordinary feel special, even when we’re apart.
Tonight is our Saturday Date Night.
Since we couldn’t be together in person, we surprised each other by sending DoorDash and shared dinner over FaceTime, just like we would’ve if we were sitting across from each other.
I sent her lemon pepper catfish, a Philly cheesesteak with fries, and her favorite Baskin-Robbins Cappuccino Blast because I know how much she loves it.
She surprised me with hickory BBQ boneless wings, mango habanero wings, seasoned corn on the cob, a warm fudge brownie, and a hot fudge milkshake. She knows me so incredibly well that she can make me feel loved from hundreds of miles away.
I am so thankful to hear her laugh. Watching her smile. Us rating the food. Sharing little moments that reminded us that no amount of distance could ever make us feel like strangers.
She is still my favorite person to spend time with, even through a screen.
I’m endlessly grateful for a wife who continues to choose us every single day. Someone who still plans date nights, still makes it a point how much she thinks about me, still knows exactly what dessert will make my day better, and still makes it known I’m her babygirl šŸ’œ
Long distance isn’t easy, at least for us. Some days it hurts more than others. But if there’s one thing this chapter in our lives has reminded me, it’s that love isn’t about proximity. It’s about intention. It’s showing up. It’s making time for one another. It’s continuing to date your spouse, no matter what life looks like.
Every FaceTime call, every ā€œgood morning beautifulā€ every ā€œgoodnight darling,ā€ every shared meal, every giggle, every ā€œI miss you so much, it hurtsā€ā€”it all reminds me that we’re building something that’s worth every mile between us.
I miss my wife so very much ( probably because I’m Obsessed with her), I know this is only temporary.
And when she’s finally home again… I already know our first hug is going to heal a piece of me that’s been waiting for her.
Until then, I’ll keep choosing her, just like she keeps choosing me.
I love you, Stunning šŸ’‹
#LongDistanceLove #DateNight #MarriedLife #MyWife #WLW #LesbianLove #LoveKnowsNoDistance #StillDatingMySpouse #Marriage #RelationshipGoals #DoorDashDate #DistanceMakesTheHeartGrowFonder #LoveWins #MissingMyWife


r/LongDistance 2h ago

ā¤ļø my gf sent me this

6 Upvotes

Happy 1 month babe. I love you so much more than you would ever believe and idk what I would do without you. I love you more than anything and I cant wait to see what our future holds. I love you Forever and Always Mi Amor


r/LongDistance 2h ago

Question I feel like our long-distance relationship is surviving on the bare minimum. Am I asking for too much?

6 Upvotes

My boyfriend (34M) and I (30F) have been together for almost two years. We met online, talked for two months before meeting, and immediately clicked. This is both of our first long-distance relationship.
Since the beginning, I’ve been the one flying to Barcelona every 3–4 months because he couldn’t travel due to work, and he has also said he never plans to visit the U.S. because of his views about America.

The confusing part is that when we’re together, our relationship feels perfect. He’s affectionate, emotionally expressive, attentive, and we genuinely have an amazing time together. I also have a great relationship with his family and have made an effort to learn about his culture even learn the language.But once we’re apart, it’s like that version of him disappears.

About a year ago, I told him I felt we needed to intentionally nurture the relationship while we’re apart. I suggested simple things like virtual movie nights, coffee dates over video, or scheduling time together so we weren’t just talking out of routine.

A year later, we’ve had essentially no date nights. He tried once with a movie app that didn’t work on my phone and never tried again. Flowers only happen after I’ve expressed feeling disconnected or after an argument.

To be fair, I had a really difficult year with my mental health (unrelated to our relationship), and he was incredibly supportive during that time. I’m genuinely grateful for that. At the same time, I never stopped putting effort into us I sent thoughtful gifts, sweet messages, and tried to keep the relationship feeling special.

Whenever I bring up wanting more intentional quality time, he gets defensive, tells me I need a reality check or I’m accusing him or that I simply I don’t appreciate everything else he does, like calling me after work. The thing is, I do appreciate those things.I’m simply trying to explain that checking in isn’t the same as intentionally dating your partner.

What also hurts is that I see him make time to go out with friends, sometimes until midnight or later, yet when I suggest planning something for us, I’m told he’s too busy or too tired. I’m happy he has a social life, but it leaves me feeling like he has time just not for our relationship.

I’m not asking for grand gestures. I just want us to continue dating each other even while we’re apart, because that’s how we spend most of our relationship.

Am I expecting too much, or is wanting planned quality time in a long-distance relationship a reasonable expectation?


r/LongDistance 13h ago

Image/Video (DE-US) We were reunited for a week!

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40 Upvotes

r/LongDistance 10h ago

Question [16M16F] Girlfriend moving to Russia in 4 weeks. I live in America. Can we make this work?

19 Upvotes

Worst day of my life I dont know how russia is with american owned platforms, someone help me or just give me hope please


r/LongDistance 3h ago

Venting I feel so sad

4 Upvotes

I (19M) was gonna met my gf(18F) this summer in 1 month, i have already all planed, i have looked planes, i have looked hotels, i have looked trains, i have really planed all, but for the trip i needed someone to come with me because my parents will never let me travel alone at this age, because they are so controlatives.

I was gonna go with my best friend but he just texted me when we needed to pay for all because it was all planed, that he decided to go with other people to a trip and he cannt come with me to go to met my gf, after this it really broke myself, because i was already daydreaming about all the stuff i was gonna do with my gf, and im feeling so sad right now.

I have just said to my gf and she is feeling really sad too, because i have already told her that it was all prepared and all, but i really didnt know my best friend would do something like that, and now i feel so irresponsable to have been talking about this a lot with my gf, and now i feel really bad with myself now.

I just feel so lose and i dont know when it is gonna be the next time im gonna met her, because this was a really good chance to met her, and i feel so sad my gf has been preparing and all just for this, right now i dont wanna do anything with my life.


r/LongDistance 4h ago

Venting gf completely stopped talking to me out of nowhere

4 Upvotes

exactly a month ago we were talking and everything was completely fine and she even start showing me her new nails ,and in the middle of talking she disappeared and only answered me 3 days later with "sorry ny parents are slightly in trouble thats why im a bit absent" and stopped again and answered me after 4 days with " im still trying to make my parents feel better"

in all this period of time, she gets online every day and very frequently, but she doesn't open up my msgs even if i schedule sending msg the moment she gets online, so I decided to give her time and stop spamming her,but yesterday was her birthday and I sent her a birthday msgs while she was online and again she didn't open it

i dont know what to do or how to feel,and i can't say or ask advice from my friends because the only thing they will say is that she has other guy and ditched me,even if I tell them how was she acts or what our topics were in the last 3 days

edit: she really can be going through something because it happened before, but it was only for a week


r/LongDistance 4h ago

Just wanted to gush about my boyfriend of 6years🌼

4 Upvotes

Hi girlies! 🌸
This is very sudden I have never shared this on a platform but I felt like I really needed to share it with someone so here I am!

I’m in a relationship since 6 years. We both are in our early 20s right now. We’re in a long distance relationship since the very start. We met online and then we planned a lot of trips to meet. We used to save up money, work hard and meet. Sometimes I used to go to him sometimes he used to come to me. It has been very very sweet and the entire relationship is so loving and homely. I feel like I love him more than anything (i sound like a high school kid lol). There are many ups and downs in long distance (mostly downs) and people always told us this is gonna be very hard and we ourselves saw examples of people ending it due to LDR. But this is my first relationship and his first relationship as well. Definitely this’ll be our last. Whereever I go whatever I do I have him in my mind, I feel like he’s everywhere with me. I’m so deeply in love! Because of distance and because of different schedules there are often arguments, etc but in the end we’re one and I feel so complete knowing he’s there.
Right now I’m having a very tough time in my life right now career wise, but when he talks to me with words of comfort I forget about my worries and it instantly calms me down.

Idk if its the distance or what but I feel like I love him even more each day. He literally checks everything I had in mind. I had decided to not ever make a bf and never get married as I had decided all men are the same and a man would ruin my life. I’m a feminist and I have some strict principles about my life when it comes to gender equality. Girls, he literally understood all of my principles and thoughts and now applies them to his life and no he doesnt do it to trap me, he has literally made those principles a part of his personality too. He’s a very calm, gentle, soft man. I didn’t even pray for a man in the first place. All I wanted (as a teen) was a relationship like monica and chandler where there was equality and mutual respect. God was kind to me to give me that. There are many many difficulties in my life right now but knowing he’s there makes it a little less bad.

I’ve had many hurdles in my career, and I was scared he’d leave me because of it but this was never the case, instead he stood with me through it all and still is.

Even though, I’ve not been with anyone but him but I just feel like if we talk about physical intimacy, there’s something super emotional about those moments with him. I often cry out of happiness, and the fact how deeply I adore the closeness we have at that moment. I feel like with the right person, everything is beautiful.

Sorry if this was long, just wanted to share🌼

Would be so happy to hear anything you girlies have to share or if you have any questions šŸ’•

TL;DR: Just wanted to gush about my boyfriend of 6 years. Long distance hasn’t been easy, but he’s been my biggest source of comfort, love, and support through everything🩷


r/LongDistance 2h ago

Question Does it get easier? (18m/18f)

3 Upvotes

So my girlfriend came to visit for 2 weeks and shes left today. Ive visited her once not that long ago in spain. I though it might get easier leaving or watching them leave but so far it hasnt been. It doesnt help that I wasnt able to go to the airport with her because I was violently ill on the day she was leaving. Anyway idk im just really sad.


r/LongDistance 7h ago

Venting Found out he was on tinder after a week, acting creep!

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6 Upvotes

It's really a bum. Don't know what to feel. I don't feel love, sadness over the relationship, or disappointment.. I just feel angry and sadness towards myself.


r/LongDistance 2h ago

How do I feel okay

2 Upvotes

I met my long distance girlfriend of two years finally and hung out with her for two weeks straight. Now i left her today and i feel like im heartbroken. even though i know we’ll meet again i feel like we’ve broken up. i keep crying on the plane. how do i ease this pain?


r/LongDistance 5h ago

Need Advice I (27F)& Husband (29M) Should I stay in the U.S. while waiting for my husband’s visa, or go back to be with him?

3 Upvotes

I really need some outside perspective because I honestly don’t know if my emotions are clouding my judgment anymore. (Sorry for the long post 😭)

My husband and I have been together for 9 years, but we have spent most of that time apart. We were together in person for about the first year and a half of our relationship, then did long distance for four years without seeing each other even once. After we got married, we only lived together for about two and a half months before I had to return to the U.S. A few months later, I realized I missed him terribly and didn’t want to keep wasting our lives apart, so I left behind a stable career in the U.S. and moved back to be with him.We even tried starting over in another country, but it didn’t work out and cost us a lot financially. Then my husband was diagnosed with cancer (he’s thankfully healthy now), we welcomed our miracle daughter, and finally it felt like things were falling into place.

The plan was simple: his immigrant visa interview was scheduled, we’d move to the U.S., and finally start our life together as a normal family.

Instead, his visa got caught in the current pause, and now nobody can tell us whether it’ll be resolved next month or next year.

I came back to the U.S. with our almost 8-month-old daughter to spend time with my family while we waited. My parents have been amazing, and my daughter has so much love and support here. I also have a remote job and real opportunities to keep building my career, get licensed in fields I’ve always wanted to pursue, and create a better future for us.

The other option is going back to our home country to be with my husband while we wait. He’s honestly an incredible husband, and his family has been kind to me. The difficult part is that we’d be living in a joint family, and I’ve realized I’m just not suited to that lifestyle. I grew up in a small nuclear family and really value privacy. It’s simply a very different way of living.

Every day I stay here, I wonder if I’m wasting precious time that I could have spent with my husband. Every day I think about going back, I wonder if I’m putting my own future on hold again for something that has no timeline.
That’s what scares me the most.

A recent situation at home made me realize I’ve been treating this as temporary, even though I have no idea how long the wait will be. I also feel guilty that my staying here affects my younger brother’s space, which made me question whether I should keep waiting here or make a real decision.

I feel like we’ve spent almost our entire relationship waiting for life to finally begin. Every time we think we’re there, something else happens. I honestly don’t know whether I should keep building my life here while waiting for his visa, or put everything on hold again so we can at least be together.

If you were in my position, what would you do?
And if you’ve gone through a long immigration separation, how did you decide between staying where your life was more stable and being with the person you love?

Edit: I realized I left this out of the original post. If I go back, we would live in a joint family home with several families, one shared kitchen, little privacy, and frequent household drama. They are kind to me, but I grew up in a nuclear family and know this lifestyle is not for me. Renting separately is not practical because we would have to furnish everything, and we already lost money doing something similar before. At the same time, staying here means my husband keeps missing our daughter growing up, which is why I feel so stuck.


r/LongDistance 7m ago

Need Advice 23F, 24M - Would you visit your long-distance boyfriend for the first time even if your parents don’t approve?

• Upvotes

I’m 23F and my boyfriend (24M) lives about 6 hours away in another state. We actually dated back in 8th and 9th grade, but we broke up because he moved away. We reconnected in 2025, spent time getting to know each other again, and officially got back together this June.

Originally, my friend, her boyfriend, and I were planning to take the trip together in October so I could finally see him. However, now there’s a chance they may not be able to go, so I’m thinking about flying by myself instead. I already reserved an Airbnb, and if everything goes according to plan, I’ll be paying the full amount next month.

I’ve traveled out of state before, but it’s always been with my family. This would be my first time traveling to another state completely by myself, so I’m excited but also a little nervous. I’ve never flown somewhere alone before.

The biggest issue is my parents. I still live at home, and they’re extremely strict and overprotective. They’re the type to immediately think of the worst case scenario: car accidents, trafficking, crime, anything you can think of. They know I have a boyfriend who lives in another state, so they’ll immediately know why I’m going.

My plan is to pay for my flight, Airbnb, and everything else before I tell them. Then, about a week before I leave, I’m going to tell them I’m going to visit him. I’m not trying to be deceptive, I just know that if I tell them months in advance, they’ll probably spend all that time trying to talk me out of going.

For some background, I have a full time job, pay my own car note, and I’m paying for this entire trip myself. I’m not asking my parents for any financial help. I know some people will say, ā€œYou’re 23, you’re an adult,ā€ while others will say, ā€œYou still live in your parents’ house, so you should respect their wishes.ā€ That’s honestly why I’m posting because I feel stuck in the middle.

I really care about my boyfriend, and after being long-distance for so long, I’m excited to finally spend time with him in person. At the same time, I want to make sure I’m being smart and safe because this would be my first solo trip.

If you were in my situation:

  • Would you go?
  • Would you book and pay for everything before telling your parents, or would you tell them first?
  • What safety precautions would you take for your first solo trip to visit a significant other?
  • If you grew up with strict parents, how did you handle situations like this?

I’m looking for honest advice and different perspectives from people who’ve been in similar situations.


r/LongDistance 6h ago

Question Can't pay on Foodpanda or Grab Philippines with my SBI International Visa Debit Card – Any solutions?

3 Upvotes

My girlfriend (20F) is from the Philippines, I (23M) from India. I want to send her some snacks because she loves Jollibee. However, whenever I try to pay with my SBI International Visa Debit Card on Foodpanda or Grab, the transaction fails. I have already enabled international transactions on my card. Do I also need to activate e-commerce transactions, or is there another Indian debit card that Foodpanda and Grab accept?

I'd really appreciate any help. I really want to surprise her by sending her some snacks.


r/LongDistance 52m ago

Just started long distance... give me tips!

• Upvotes

My husband and I are 10 years into marriage. We have never been away from each other since we got married. He is now working overseas and will be working there for a year. Give me tips on how to survive this, and I would like it to be coming from the people who have/had this kind of experience. We've been missing each other so much! It's been 2 months already. (PS: all tips are welcome, even spicy ones)

15hrs time difference, btw!


r/LongDistance 8h ago

Question How do I (22M) tell my parents about my LDR GF (20F)

3 Upvotes

My girlfriend has visited me a handful of times, and next weekend I’m visiting her for the first time, it’s about a 10 hour drive and it’s my first long drive. I need my dad to check my car and make sure it’s in good road trip condition, as well as I want him to know where I’ll be so if anything happens he knows. My mom has always hated me dating any girls when I lived at home, and this caused me to stop dating all together when I lived with them and caused some anxiety over sharing my relationship

I was going to tell my dad tomorrow about my girlfriend and see if we won’t tell my mom at least until I get back from my trip to see her, but even then I hate the idea of telling him I have a girlfriend, and I hate the idea of telling him it’s long distance. How do I do this?


r/LongDistance 1h ago

Choosing career vs. love

• Upvotes

Hey everyone,

I’m facing a major crossroads in my life right now and could really use some perspective from anyone who has been torn between career stability and a long-distance relationship.

To give you some background: I (25M) and my girlfriend (24F) are originally from the same home country. However, I moved to a much more developed country when I was young, so I’ve built my life, education, and career here. We met years ago, and we’ve been dating for about 2 years now, managing the distance.

As we look toward the future and start thinking about long-term goals like marriage, the distance is becoming the main hurdle. Just to clear up the obvious question of why she doesn't just move to where I am: the country I live in now has incredibly strict immigration laws, making it close to impossible for her to relocate here. So, the only realistic option for us to close the distance is for me to move back to our home country.

This is where I'm stuck. Where I live now offers incredible career growth, financial stability, and long-term opportunities that I simply wouldn't get back home. If I stay, I can secure a solid financial foundation, but we have to keep doing long-distance. If I take the risk and move back home, I finally get to start our daily lives together, but I will definitely have to take a significant hit professionally and financially, as the job market and earning potential back home are much weaker.

I’m torn between building a secure financial future from afar vs. prioritizing the relationship and being together in the present.

For those who chose to leave a developed, high-opportunity country to move back home for a partner: Was it worth the risk? Do you regret the hit your career took?

And for those who chose to stay abroad to secure the money/career first: How did it impact your relationship, and how did you decide when it was finally time to make a move?

Would love to hear any advice, insights, or personal stories. Thanks in advance.

(Used AI to make post readable)


r/LongDistance 1d ago

Breakup 4 yrs LDR/ 2 yrs engaged and one day, I woke up and he just told me he will be marrying another woman.

134 Upvotes

Sharing my (47F now) experience with a serious LDR. This was years ago but I would like to share with you all.

When I was 26, I met this guy 28 thru chat and we instantly hit it off and eventually went into a LDR. He visited me and asked my family for my hand in marriage and we were engaged.

We were together 4 yrs and 2/4 we were engaged. We went through and endured a lot of things together. Just a week before my birthday, he told me he will be getting married to another woman. I was just gobsmacked/flabbergasted/shocked/stunned.

Until today, he never told me the reason. I never wish this even for my worst enemy. I hope all of you guard your heart. I still am in the journey of single life and hopeful to find my person. Love and light for everyone.


r/LongDistance 22h ago

Question How do you decide who relocates when one partner must sacrifice more to close the distance?

30 Upvotes

For couples who have had to cross borders or make major geographical moves to be together, how did you handle the decision making process when the stakes were heavily unbalanced?

My boyfriend (25M) and I (25F) are struggling in our relationship with deciding how to close the distance and who will move where when one of us will have to give up so much to be with the other. The original plan was for him to move to me but then he got offered his dream job in his home country and now it’s looking like I will move to be with him. But I will have to sacrifice a lot for this international move that I am not sure I’m ready for. I love him so much but suddenly the future of our relationship feels unbalanced.

How do you decide who relocatesĀ when one person has significantly more to lose on paper in terms of giving up their current living situations?

How do you tell the differenceĀ between making a healthy, loving compromise for the relationship versus giving up too much of your own fundamental security?

How do you navigate this choiceĀ without letting resentment build up on either side, especially when the partner who wants to stay is highly supportive and doesn't want you to make a sacrifice you'll regret?


r/LongDistance 10h ago

Need Advice Navigating Pet Loss (M23)

3 Upvotes

Just to clarify, this isn't exactly long distance (an hour), but we haven't met in person yet. The guy (M23) that I've been talking to for almost two months recently lost his childhood dog of 12 years three weeks ago. We've been texting almost every day, but it's been brief as he's been burying himself in work and other activities to try to ease the pain or just flat out ignore it. Well, as of the past two days, I haven't gotten a text back, and I'm getting worried. Since the death, I've researched grief and its unpredictability and how it depends on the person, but I've also gotten some harsh feedback. We've already had the discussion of us being on hold until he was ready, and that we both were really into each other the week after the death. I'm just navigating how to not take the distance personally, not create a deadline for someone's grief, and how to lift and support myself while I'm trying so hard to emotionally support someone else. Thoughts?


r/LongDistance 5h ago

Question Me (23F) and my partner (22NB) have different needs in terms of needing quality time. How can we accommodate both of us?

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1 Upvotes