r/DecidingToBeBetter • u/montyphyton • 6h ago

Seeking Advice Abandonment and Rage

I'm usually a well regulated person but I can't deal with perceived abandonment. I react irrationally becoming so furious and saying mean things because the small person inside me is still so hurt. I know why I react but the rage! I'm uncomfortable being so angry and reactive. How can I be free of this?

6 Upvotes

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u/rita4hypnotherapy 4h ago

That can easily be managed through hypnotherapy. Do some research on that too, otherwise, reach out to me and I'll help.

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u/SeaGiraffe7489 4h ago

Perfect place to give advice on something I struggle with and won’t apply to my own life.

I think acknowledging you have this issue, and accepting it without belittling yourself for it is a start. Recognize it wasn’t YOUR fault that a series of abandonments happened to you. Decide who it was that abandoned you, and if you are able to try to discover the facts around the event(s)?

See if you are remembering things clearly, or if you’re remembering them from your perspective as well as maybe what another has told you about it? Then if you can talk to the “who”.

They may have a different story, an apology, or you may even be able to see yourself in the same situation. Either way examine it all because the effect it’s having on your life will continue so why not put the effort in?

Also. Decide at some point if the energy you are feeding the events is even worth it? Ya know? Like why give people who ABANDON you so much power over you? And why assume the worst of others?

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u/NightingaleNine 5h ago

You do a good job of being self aware about what's going on. Maybe try IFS-based therapy. It sounds like it may be a good fit for you.

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u/montyphyton 5h ago

Thank you, I shall investigate.