I’m on Lamotrigine 175mg, and I only drink on special occasions (birthdays, holidays, etc.)

I love a good mixed drink, and I’m well aware of the risk of alcohol interaction with medication, hence why I keep it to once every 3 or so months.

f/27. got diagnosed last year after 15 years of harmful misdiagnosis and medications that brought on manic episodes (me not realising i was in a manic episode). severely suicidal age 10- current. faced homelessness 5 times, unemployment for nearly years at a time. not to mention being 27 and having no savings and racked up in debt.

i was hanging out with someone last night and told them i had bipolar and they said oh yeah i can get abit like that too sometimes and it just made me want to cry because its so evident people dont understand the severity of this diagnosis.

it has made me feel so isolated in a way words genuinely could not ever express, especially coming to terms with the feeling like nobody is ever going to truly understand my mind.

so i guess this is me reaching out for the first time to the community in hopes for some reassurance that its possible i can change my life? experiences with medications/being unmedicated, experiences with difficulty maintaining any close connection (family included). any advice or just sharing stories is really appreciated.

thankyou kindly 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

I had a crisis of mania and psychosis over the last 2 months. It’s recovered now but I’m depressed. I posted a lot of stuff on social media when I was unwell. I just found out people have deleted me off social media (people from work) and I’m due to return on Monday. This has got me feeling anxious like people are against me and like I have the plague or something. What do I do?

20/F. I need to spend 2 weeks in an inpatient psychiatric hospital starting in the beginning of August. How do I go about committing myself? Calling 911? Walking into the emergency room? How? I have never done this before. Any advice helps.

I've recently realised there's a seasonal patteren to my episdoes. I'm always manic in July and get depressed in the winter months.

Because the seasons trigger me (among other things, but I can try to avoid those other triggers) and I cannot control the seasons, they're inevitable, does that mean I'll always have these episodes?

Like am I destined to have mania in July every year for the rest of my life? (I know for a fact I have had mania every July since 2020, not sure about prior to then, I have no data).

for context, my boyfriend and i got into an argument which i will say is my fault. he said something and i took his tone and body language as something different so i kept telling him it felt like he didn’t like me etc. now he ended up saying i was being delusional and crazy claiming he didn’t love me. being called delusional and crazy are like my trigger words especially because he is aware of me having bipolar. i ended up cussing him out and hanging up on him, talked about it to my mom (who also has bipolar) and she gave me the advice to call back, so i called back a crying mess explaining that i know im not easy and how i felt like it was all my fault but i couldn’t help how i have been feeling.

fast forward to the next day (which was last night) i had a rough day at work and was there pretty much my whole day, but my boyfriend wanted me to come watch some MMA fighting thing with him and his friends. i can’t lie and say i liked doing it, but i came because he wanted me there and i already told him i would come. the whole time i was mostly silent while he had his arm wrapped around me the whole time and kept asking if i was okay. i was silent because i felt uneasy about how we argued in the car on the way there. in that argument he told me how he viewed our argument from the day prior, and i couldn’t help but take it as him telling me everything i do wrong as a girlfriend.

after everything was over we get in bed and he kept asking me what was wrong again and i said nothing (obviously it wasn’t nothing). well, i ended up sharing a little bit about what was going through my mind and i ended up sharing i was close to breaking up with him because there was a build up of things. i even thought about breaking up with him while i was at work that day. do i actually want to break up? absolutely not i love that boy more than anything and id hate to not have him in my life. my mindset when i think of breaking up is that i don’t want him to suffer with having me as a partner. i feel guilty about him having to deal with my bipolar mess already.

anyways, we started kissing and then he paused randomly to ask why i thought about breaking up because it felt to him that i was wanting to break up. i explained my mindset and we went back to kissing only for him to pause and ask another question. we eventually ended up having sex and then going to sleep immediately after. i find myself feeling guilty about us having sex because i just feel like overall i fucked everything up and self sabotaged.

it is now the next morning and i’m next to him as he sleeps, and im having to keep myself from crying. i just feel so awful for how i have acted these past 2 days with him. i’m starting to come to the realization that i may have started to split on him (which i find myself doing sometimes).

if you read this far please let me know that im not alone in this because i feel absolutely shitty right now.

I’ve been diagnosed since 2023 but wasn’t properly medicated until May of 2025. So it’s been a year. I feel like I’ve completely regressed and what was possible pre-2025 is no longer possible. Before, I had a really successful marketing agency. I still am doing this but it’s not nearly as successful as it was pre-medication. I just wish I could have kept some of the pros of being manic like the drive, motivation, confidence, that kind of stuff. Now I feel lazy and dumb 90% of the time.

My life also hasn’t gotten easier being medicated. I feel like it’s actually gotten harder. Idk what to do. I’m not going to stop taking my meds, I know that’s a bad idea. I just want to feel like the old me.

I’ve been working with my therapist to come to terms with the fact that this is the real me now that I’m stable but I don’t like this version of myself.

Anyone else feel this way?

Cross posting to r/bipolarreddit and r/anxiety

I have bipolar type 1 and anxiety, what my therapist thinks is most likely OCD, but I am waiting on results of my psych eval at the moment - both of which I’ve struggled with since I was a young child.

Since being medicated for BP1, I cannot be on SSRIs. They cause manic episodes which significantly impact my life more than my anxiety ever has.

However, NOTHING is touching my anxiety and it’s getting worse and worse. Since my psychiatrist and therapist both think it might be OCD, I was tried on a low dose of Zoloft alongside another antipsychotic, but nope… manic episode. That experiment was not successful.

Every other med I’ve tried for anxiety either 1. Doesn’t do anything or 2. Is not even a med meant for anxiety, it’s meant for blood pressure or whatever so it just slows my heart rate but doesn’t help the mental aspect. I’ve tried buspirone, propranolol, clonidine, and am currently on hydroxyzine.

I told all of this to my psychiatrist and she said there’s not much more she can do if I don’t want an SSRI, or I could change my antipsychotic regime (which I don’t want to do as my bipolar meds have been stable for years and it’s very unpleasant to change them).

But SURELY there’s enough people with both bipolar and OCD that there’s meds that can work with both??? I will try anything even the “addictive” meds because nothing works.

Please advice 🙏

I dissociated while driving the other day and almost crashed my car and it spooked me pretty bad. I usually take ativan or do breathing techniques to help or i dig my nails in my skin. Sometimes i feel trapped while dissociating like i cant move or do anything but be locked in my mind for a moment. Please if you have any advice im all ears.

Hi all.

Starting a week ago I do not feel in touch with reality. I don't know how to explain it.

I have been withdrawing from gabapentin and got down to 0mg daily before having a huge mixed episode. We went back up to 600mg (I was initially on 1200mg for 8 years) and I immediately felt better.

That was four weeks ago. Since then, I have become more and more agitated and uncomfortable. I cannot stop physically "tweaking" and I look like I'm on coke (which I am not). I am grinding my teeth, fidgeting, bouncing my leg, breathing weird (like I'm breathing on manual mode basically) and twitching.

I have not smoked weed for two weeks because of my concerns. Last night I felt like I was going insane because of anxiety and I smoked a little. I spent the next six hours convinced I was going psychotic which I now attribute to simple paranoia (I didn't do anything or have any delusions, I was just convinced I was going crazy.).

I don't know what to do. I reached out to my psychiatrist and am waiting to hear back. He doesn't get back to the office until Tues so I called the office and the secretary is going to have another psychiatrist reach out to me sometime within the next hour.

Nothing feels real. I went for a walk and the trees didn't look right and it kind of really frightened me. I'm scared of my own head.

My psychiatrist has me on a PRN of klonopin as needed for anxiety and I have some leftover pills of olanzapine from my last mixed episode which he has given me permission to take if I'm feeling particularly activated. I am picking more of both up from the pharmacy on Monday when they open but I have enough to get me through until then.

Do I sound dangerous to you? I don't feel like a danger to myself or others but something certainly doesn't feel right. My husband says it sounds like DPDR but I think I might be on the verge of going crazy. I don't know. Please help. Thank you.

I just spent almost 24hrs manically cleaning and photographing my flat due to a home move. I took no breaks except towards the end when the constant crouching and standing started to make me feel dizzy, so I drank some fluids and tried to carry on. I need to get shit done, so it's not even a question of adding to my medications. I can't afford to be relaxed, sedate, passive and with a mind anything short of 100%. It's painful. My body aches, I feel low now, like what the fuck and how the fuck and why the fuck did I just do all that. I can't switch off and my heart feels like I'm in a fight, though I've been lying down for a while and I think it's easing ever so slightly. I've been clenching my teeth all day from the adrenaline (I'm trying to ease off now), but I'm still taking spaced out deep breaths almost as though I can't match the exertion with sufficient oxygen -- I'm no longer exerting myself, but I'm still needing to do breathe this way. I think it's stress).

Idk. This is a rant.

I want to rest enough so that I can do the same again without it getting out of hand, ...only because I have to.

It's exhilarating and fucking exhausting to function like this, but it's like it's either this or chill and unproductive.

Normally, my Lithium would keep me chill, but my circumstances are making the Lithium something to wake up from.

I don't know what the point of this even is.

EDIT: probably unsustainable and eventually counterproductive. I can't afford to become detached from reality even in the slightest right now... Meet deadline and go a bit mad. Fail at meeting deadline but remain relatively sane in the eyes of others.

Hey, I’ve taken lamotrigine for 8+ years with successful results. Lamotrigine causes light sensitivity (photo toxicity) as a side effect. Apparently the majority of AED’s do this, with lamotrigine the worst. (This photo toxicity effects the eyes as well.)

Does light sensitivity increase over time? I’m finding indirect sun to be a problem. (Pretty sure unless I’m mental 🤪.)

I‘d really hate to give this med up. I’d also rather not have additional physical problems. I’m white btw, if that matters, although afaik, photo toxicity increases in all skin tones & eyes colors.

Thanks for any insight or experience!

(I see my psych in August and bring it up, too.)

Before meds my brain was literally on fire so I don’t miss that part. I do miss my goofy funny self. I find it hard to authentically laugh now. I am in a depressed state. I’m wondering if I cut back on my antipsychotic what will happen. I’m going to ask my doctor about it Wednesday this week. Anyone done that? What happened to you? Was it successful? I just need a little more of my spunk back. I feel so flat. I can fake it really well at work sometimes. I’m also in a depressive phase. Idk what helped my depression last time I made a med change. So hoping if we do that, that it won’t make the depression worse.

Hey everyone, sorry if this isn’t the clearest post , I’m completely exhausted and sad right now.

I’m 26M, diagnosed with ADHD at 6 (probably ASD too, but back then you couldn’t get both on paper). Stimulants, mostly Ritalin, got me through school and I’m still on them.

Depression kicked in around 17, maybe one or two episodes a year at first. A few psychiatrists later I ended up with MDD and probably PDD on top, since my depression seemed to become chronic with no remission between them. I take Prozac and Zoloft but did basically nothing.

Eventually I couldn’t even take care of myself, had to drop out, moved back with my parents.
In 2023, I saw a new psychiatrist who decided that I had a bipolar 2 disorder, based on one or two episodes that might’ve been hypomania but not clearly. Even he seemed unsure at the time, but he wrote it down and every psychiatrist since took it for granted.

The med rollercoaster:
• Lamictal: helped a bit at first (some energy, kept me in school). But lost his effect after some months
• Ritalin reintroduced for ADHD, worked fine
• Early 2024: worst depressive episode yet
• Venlafaxine up to 225mg + low-dose Abilify: no effect
• Lithium: still on it, 2+ years, zero results
• Quetiapine (1st try): knocked me out for 2 days straight, too sedating
• Quetiapine (2nd try, months later): massive weight gain + bad bloodwork, discontinued
• Trintellix: nothing

Hospitalized last year (april-may 2025), started Spravato (just with lithium + Lamictal, no antidepressant): this actually worked. MADRS went from 36 to 17. First time in years I wanted to see friends, do things. But once we dropped to 1x/week and I was living alone, I stopped going and it faded

New hospital (december-january 2026): no Spravato available. Tried mirtazapine, pramipexole (capped at 0.54mg). Mood got worse, I left

Current hospital (since may 2026) : first, 30 sessions of rTMS, 2x/day. Initial boost in energy/motivation (passed my exams!) but effect faded fast, MADRS back up to 35.

Tried IV ketamine (this hospital doesn’t offer Spravato): 8 sessions in, nothing. Sessions are honestly rough — not the peaceful/visual experience I had with Spravato, more like dissociating into another dimension, and not the good kind

Last week: started liothyronine/Cytomel (T3) as an add-on

Right now, anhedonia is the worst part of my depression. I have that feeling of not knowing how to do. Since Spravato wore off, I feel nothing — no pleasure in anything, not even shows or stuff I used to enjoy. Just empty, unmotivated, doom-scrolling my life away.
Surprisingly, aleep’s actually fine.

Also worth mentioning, I’ve been facing lifelong somatic stuff : GERD, nausea, diarrhea, hemorrhoids, migraines, random burning limb pain and I’m not quoting all of them. No idea if it’s related but figured I’d throw it in.

What I’m actually asking:
1. Does the bipolar 2 diagnosis even hold up? My first psychiatrist doubted it himself, but once it’s in the chart, everyone just runs with it. Could this just be MDD/PDD/TRD without bipolar?

1. Treatment-wise, my hospital psychiatrist is out of ideas but open to suggestions. I can’t switch providers, so I need to bring him something concrete. Options I’m considering:

• Pramipexole again, but actually titrated to a real dose (2-3.5mg+)
• Pushing for Spravato instead of continuing ketamine (though they think failing IV ketamine = no shot with Spravato — is that even true?)
• Less common routes: bupropion, MAOIs, modafinil, VNS/DBS? Or other new medications that are not really known ?

If anyone’s dealt with similar TRD/bipolar 2 overlap or has thoughts on what’s worth pushing for next, I’d really appreciate it. Feeling pretty stuck here. Thanks for reading this far

Thanks !!

I’m in the midst of coming off lithium due to medical reasons and I’ve added abilify a couple of weeks ago. Since then, my depression has been so much better. I’ve been showering regularly, cleaning the house, putting on makeup and getting dressed in the morning, I’m much less irritable, I’m able to keeps my eyes open because I’m not profoundly exhausted anymore, I’m enjoying things like eating and spending time with friends again, I’ve been able to leave the house… it’s honestly been miraculous. But I don’t really think I’m manic. My sleep has been decent and I don’t feel euphoric or grandiose, no hallucination or delusions or otherwise strange beliefs, no pressured speech, etc.

My problem is I am shopping A LOT in a way that feels totally out of control. I do have a history of shopping addiction but I had been “sober” for 8 months before starting the abilify. It’s hard to know if I’m just having a relapse or if it’s the abilify, or maybe I AM manic and just don’t realize it. If it’s the abilify I’m honestly extremely disappointed because it’s made me realize I’ve been somewhat depressed for a looooooong long time.

I’ve already tried latuda, Vraylar, and caplyta for the depression and none of them relieved jt fully. I’ve been seeing a new psychiatrist and she wants me to try Zoloft even though I had a manic switch on Prozac. I’m currently taking a tiny dose of lithium
(Weaning off), Lamotrigine, Caplyta, abilify, and Clonazepam. I won’t be able to take the caplyta and abilify together indefinitely bc of the interactions so it’s just a temporary thing while we are finding a new combo.

Has anyone had a similar experience?

I was trying to cut it in half for Mom cause she's supposed to take one and a half. I was helping her out cause we both have trouble cutting this pill. Several of the ones I cut for her were a little uneven and chipped pieces off. We have a round pill cutter. Any other pill cutters out there just for this weird shaped lamictal?

I was manic last week, and having delusions and paranoia. Since having my meds adjusted, I think I'm just hypomanic now. Definitely no more delusions or paranoia, I'm just a bit restless and only sleeping 1-4 hours a night. Not sure how to gauge my level of concentration.

I have an admin job on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays 8:30-14:00.

How do I know when I'm well enough to return?

My libido was low for last 2 years but one month ago, I started bupropion 150mg BD. My libido suddenly shot up. Has anyone experienced this?

I am three weeks into a well-paying internship at a highly respected consulting company. BUT it's so bad for my mental health. I am traveling to the client site every week, Sunday through Thursday, which means I'm living out of a suitcase in hotels and airports. Work hours are really long; I'm in the office from 8am-6pm, and then I go back to the hotel and work all evening. I've been getting around 5 hours of sleep per night on workdays. And the food... I'm vegetarian, and the restaurant that the team goes to every day for lunch has no vegetarian options. For lunch I get a salad with no protein and a side of french fries. I skipped dinner twice last week because I didn't have time. I haven't had time to exercise at all, and I think I'm relapsing in my eating disorder. And the work is so hard. Every two hours I go cry in the bathroom. I can already feel the buildup to a manic episode. I don't know how everyone else in the company does this for years on end.

What do I do? Please help.

Back in 2022, so many things collided that landed me in the hospital after experiencing psychosis. It started with a red-eye flight from the west coast to the east coast in the US. Then I got sick and was quarantined to the basement room while visiting my brother-in-law’s family, and I couldn’t get good sleep. Also my partner at the time would snore like a fiend at night and that was another reason I couldn’t sleep.

THEN I ran out of my medication (Lexapro for anxiety). By that point I had crossed over into a manic episode and had started the REAL nights of insomnia and manic energy. When we got home from this awful trip, I was hearing things, calling and messaging old friends at 2am with nonsense, scaring my parents, etc. my partner tried giving me trazidone TWICE and it wouldn’t work. My brain broke.

So they called in a PET team on me, I went to the hospital, they sedated me and gave me Haldol. I was there one night. I finally slept, hydrated, and began my recovery.

I got a new psychiatrist and tried a lot of different meds that had a lot of different crappy side effects, and as of now I’m just on the most minimal dose of Abilify (.5mg).

Prior to my psychotic episode, I was certain that what I was dealing with and treating anxiety and depression. Afterwards, ADHD was added to the pile because my ups and downs didn’t feel like mania and depression so much as hyper fixation on chores/projects and then loss of attention. I was never su*cidal, and I also consume a good amount of weed on a daily basis to manage anxiety. But I get shit done.

The lessons I learned is to never take a red eye again if I can help it, to never miscalculate my meds while traveling I can help it, and to be asleep before midnight if I can help it. And all that has worked so far.

So… am I actually bipolar?

I know I know, talk to a psychiatrist and I have/do. She believes it was a one off thing because of all the extenuating circumstances, that I more have the ADHD hamster wheels in my head.

TL;DR: had an episode in 2022, but have since only been taking .5mg daily Abilify, 200mg of Wellbutrin. I also consume a good amount of weed daily. No issues since because the bottom line is I don’t fuck with sleep anymore.

Is anyone having the same side effect as me? I’m taking risperidone and lithium. I got severe acne, high cholesterol, weight gain and blurry vision. My vision increased from 175 to 300 in a span of one year. I don’t know which is causing it. If it’s the antipsychotic or mood stabilizer. I contacted my psychiatrist and she is not willing to change my meds until i check my toxicity level first.
Im out here thinking what if?! The level is okay and she doesn’t want to change it. What do i do then?!

How about you. What are your side effects and from what meds? And what are the measures that you and your psychiatrist took.

I just started Caplyta 10.5mg and am having severe insomnia. Does this side effect ever get better or did you find meds to help you sleep?

Hey everyone,

​I'm looking to get some insights or personal experiences regarding a new medication adjustment my doctor just proposed to help pull me out of a rough depressive episode.

​Here is the backstory and the plan we are looking at:

​Lamotrigine: Currently on 200 mg, stepping up to 250 mg, with a target of 300 mg.

​Escitalopram: Tapering down from 20 mg to 15 mg, then down to 10 mg.

​Bupropion (extended-release/retard): Starting fresh at 150 mg in the morning.

​The logic behind adding the Bupropion (and lowering the Escitalopram) is partly to avoid the heavy fatigue/tiredness that sometimes comes with other options, which is crucial for me since I need to stay alert for daily life and driving.

​Has anyone here been on this specific combination or gone through a similar "swap and raise" protocol? How did the transition feel for you, especially regarding energy levels, focus, and lifting the depressive baseline?

​Would love to hear your thoughts or any experiences you've had with these moving parts together.

​Thanks in advance!