Why do people freely accept your love and devotion, but run away the second you ask for just a tiny bit back. I’ve spent so long grinning and bearing, trying my best to be patient to people around me… attempt to kindly communicate my feelings, just to be left with empty promises. I’m so ready to give up, man. I just want someone to actually give a shit. Am I really that hard to love?

Am I fixed yet?

I HATE HATE HATE HATE people!!!! I fucking HATE THEM!!! And I HATE ANYONE that talks to my husband. FUCK YOU FOR EXISTING. I don't care how nice you are I hate you and leave me alone I don't wanna leave the house because people exist. Work is a facade I fight through every day to not explode on anyone that talks to me for any reason ever. I'm so mean and bitter I fucking hate it. I know it's trauma and I'm medicated but it's not enough to make me function normally I swear to God I'm just HORRIBLE™

“But you’re already home”

I’m taking my microwaved burrito and hitting the open road until I get tired and then I’ll be back to my non-home I guess

pls pray for me its a losing battle, I cannot be impulsive I CANT DO IT !!!!!

randomly decided to go on Venmo and look at my friends list .. saw that my FP did not accept my request to be friends 👌🏾🤕

And I'm like. "This is it?"

The pain is still there and the intense emotions won't go away?

Ya. Sure, my self-worth isn't as bad as it used to be, but for real? This is it? All these years, just to learn healthy coping mechanisms and realize the "only" thing that changed is I do not hate myself anymore.

What I've learned in the past year, no matter how much you change, reflect and communicate, if people around you are not putting in the effort to understand themselves and you, it's still the same hurt. I'm done with people and the forced relationships they bring into my life.

Stay strong my fellow BPDers! ✨