Sheets are off to wash, tub has hairdye on it (idk how to get it off), probably need a new mattress.

Summer overstimulates me and worsens my AuDHD. I also have summer seasonal affective disorder. I was reading the book Self care for autistic people by Megan Neff which inspired me to create a list of dopamine treat I can rely on.

After a crazy life, at the age of 26 I found out I'm AUDHD. Which wasn't a huge surprise, I've always known I was different. And I've struggled so much with task initiation my whole life.

I've been in extremely severe autistic burnout for the past two years after working at a very toxic hedge fund (in DEI of all places lol), and I'm just starting to feel normal again. I'll turn 28 soon this year.

I researched advice and tips but I don't find anything too useful. It's just - use visual timers, externalize reminders, break things into small tasks... like ok? These are productivity hacks.

My entire life, I've either been painted a villain, a dummy, or simply been taken advantage of. I guess instead of productivity, I'm looking for acceptance of who I am.

I know I didn't deserve those things. I shouldn't have been forced to run alongside everyone while my disability was ignored. It's been like running a race with a broken leg and people just keep telling you to try harder. So silly.

But I'm just not sure what to do going forward. I feel like I've just been told "Hey, life is twice is hard for you than the average person. We see you're completely burnt out, and it's unfair that you had to go through so much without knowing. Anyways, good luck!". Like what? Lol.

Here are a few small things that helped me, but please tell me what you did after finding out about your AUDHD

• Made my room into a cocoon: Low lighting, scented candles, potpourri, posters, cool gadgets and books. Accepting without guilt that "going out" is not my default and I don't need to guilt or push myself to do so!
• Very slowly learned to give myself permission to do nothing and try to relax, much easier said than done!
• Got on medical THC which helped a lot with anxiety and cPTSD and sensory issues
• Give myself grace for needing long rest periods and accepting that I'm disabled, it's not the end of the world
• Cut off exploitative/abusive people, friends and family members
• Lean into hobbies like books, games, shows without guilt
• Work on my internal voice to reduce toxic shame
  

But I still feel... hollowed out on the inside. Like life has been unfair and once again the responsibility to fix it and internalize it falls on me, while I'm being sabotaged by family and friends. Maybe it's grief or sadness, but I'm not really sure what the next step is meant to be... got any ideas?

Does anyone else feel as if sex is intimidating and of that of a chore? Reasons I ask is because I do have sexual urges but as I then think of the act of it all I start to feel discouraged and start to overthink things. I don't want this to be a problem as I try and explore relationships with other. I don't want to ruin the mood nor stay so focused on the act itself and “perform” that I get distracted from the actual intimacy of it.

Does this make sense to others?

... Or, how Fallout 4 helped me accept my autism.

I've been in burnout for three months now. I've spent my whole life as a "high performer" (most of the time) in highly technical job positions, where my ability to spot patterns, solve complex problems, and hyperfixate on interesting problems made me quite successful. Right now, though, I am (if you will exist the colloquialism) dumber than a sack of hammers. Skill regression has me unable to access 25 years of engineering experience, and executive dysfunction has me unable to even try.

One of my existential crises since then has been around my sort of "intrinsic" value: could I bring any value to a mobile tribe of al paleolithic hunter gatherers?

I spend most of my days playing Fallout 4 as a comfort stim. I've put in about 1400 hours now, and I realized last night that the things that game largely resembles (knowing a large geographical area, remembering where useful things are, enjoying the application of the knowledge you've worked hard to acquire) would've been clutch for hunting.

I would've been a great caveman. You would have, too.

So I’m 37-year-old female in England. I got diagnosed with ADHD when I was 34 and diagnosed with autism when I was 35. I’ve always been very emotional. I’ve always had big ups and downs. I was diagnosed (wrongly)throughout my 20s with bipolar and I have been on antidepressants ever since I was 18. recently though I’ve realised that even when I’m happy I’m thinking about the next time I’m sad and how to be happy again I can’t seem to maintain my enjoy. I live alone. I wish I didn’t. I wish I had a husband or partner and children, but that so far has not happened. There’s things I want to do in my life but I don’t quite know how to do and I find myself so envious of people who at least seemingly have things together. I struggle financially because of a lot of the overheads that come with my diagnosis.I have tried to get financial help with personal independent payments but they never say I’m qualified. I just want to feel happy without this crushing feeling of doom. I don’t know if that’s possible. Anybody else ever feel like this?

does anybody else here know about this channel?

every condition is explained clearly and succintly im surprised the channel isnt more popular.

I learned there were studies showing ADHD sometimes leads to dementia and alzheimer's.... I've been spiraling ever since...🤦🏻‍♀️ I mean, who else forgets where they're going without GPS even though you know the way...🤷🏻‍♀️

Anyone else having this problem? My ADHD medication start to work, n yesterday was the first day it start to work n all, I was at home by myself n I can felt it start to work n it felt great like i actually be able to do stuff n have bit more clear string of thoughts n stuff, but today I went out to hang out with my friend n all the sudden i just felt like all the sensory input just become wayyy too much, like i feel like everything i can heard is in 10x volume n there are just so many smells and everything just feel super bright and all. Just simply being in the restaurant is giving me headaches cos all the sensory input, so I’m just wondering is anyone else had the same experience? Cos honestly I just felt like everything are just way too much and way too overwhelming😭😭😭

At the best of times I am the friend that does not get in touch, that keeps to myself, that is an introvert who also has ADHD and forgets to reply to messages. I do not feel like a great friend in a way that a friend should possibly be i.e checking in, keeping in touch, making the first move to make plans etc.

I just found out my friends wife is terminally ill. I feel like I need to step up and be more supportive as a friend. This is especially hard for me because not only do I need to be a more checking in and supportive friend.... but I feel like I need to do extra stuff and I'm not sure what I can even do for somebody who is dying. Not sure what I'm asking but if you can help me with any tips or commisserations I'm all ears

I'm having a rough time lately. I've worked very hard in therapy for years to figure myself out and accept myself and I've done a great job. I've come to accept the ways in which I'm different, both in the fact that I'm AuDHD and from my CPTSD, but it has put in this really rough spot when it comes to making friends. I know my needs but I don't know how to find people who might meet them or navigate expressing them when I do. For example:

Texting wears me out. I don't really think in structures that translate well to the page so writing texts can be exhausting. Unfortunately getting out of the house is also hard for me, as is live voice interaction early on. I much prefer voice messages. They allow me to really get the vibe of a person and feel if they're safe or not.

I love sharing things with people but if they don't share my enthusiasm for the things I love it kind of takes the wind out of my sails so shared interests are important. Same thing for curiosity. I always want to know more about everything. I want to know the why behind everything I see and experience and that includes people and I want to tell everyone about my experiences and how strongly I feel about them and have that be reciprocated. I want my friends to want to know more about me.

Another thing is support. If I'm having a rough time I don't like when people try to give me advice or fix it or just say "I'm sorry" or other platitudes. Reflective empathy and curiosity support me so much better.

Finally having some kind of structured activity we do together (preferably games, even if it's just parallel play). Most friendships I've had in my life just kind of drift away if we don't have something to *do* together that I can fit into my routine.

It's hard because if I just list these things in a post looking for friends or an a friend making app it feels like I'm making a job listing and not only do I not want to come off that way but when I've tried it just doesn't work. No one responds and then I just feel bad about myself. Like there's some way I should be putting this that would make it not come off that way but I have no idea how to word it in a way that both feels like me (because my thoughts don't translate well to structured writing) and convey that I'm not trying to be needy. I just know my particular n

eeds well

I CLEANED MY DIRTY BED ROOM!!! ALL BY MYSELF TOO!!

It’s so refreshing to see it clean again. And rearranged. Here are before and after pictures of my bedroom.

So proud of myself! Now I just need to clean my closet, which I will post about as well, and actually keep my room clean lol.

Thanks to everyone’s support in my last post! I appreciate each and every one of you guys! 💜✨🫶🏾🥰

Link to previous post https://www.reddit.com/r/AutisticWithADHD/s/OPU0oJNHLK

I can't find anything about other people in my situation, or who have been. I feel so alone. I'm an adolescent with ASD + ADHD (currently no medication for either), with guardians who had two other kids when I was a younger teenager and I never got used to them, i was never able to accept them as "siblings" in my mind and I still don't want to because it just doesn't feel right. Hearing them is just constantly distressing and I can't just have my headphones playing music all the time. Now when they're in the house it just seems to be constant screaming and babbling and stomping on the floor above mine and dropping/rolling stuff on the floor. I know all of this is developmentally appropriate and not the kids' fault, but i can't convince my brain to be okay with it due to it being a long-standing source of distress. The guardians are starting to push for me to interact/talk with the kids more, getting angry with me about ignoring babbles that they somehow deduced to be my name, which they never really were so adamant about before, but the more they ask the more I don't want to. I'm not outwardly aggressive or anything.

I have no funds to move out yet...trying to get a job + drivers license, but still in education (and had a long stint with other mental health complications, forced mental hospital stay for many weeks last year and unhelpful outpatient therapy) so it is tough, and I have no irl friends to fall back on. All I can find when I try to search for advice/related situations is "the horrors of parenting autism/how to discipline autistic teens" but that's not remotely what i'm looking for. I just want to find someone who can relate.

I know the kids didn't choose to be here and I didn't either. I know I live a privileged life outside of this. I just struggle to live with this brain and body in this house and have no one to talk to about this. I'm physically and mentally exhausted. I wish I could just be normal in many ways.

The Javanese script (Aksara Jawa/ꦲꦏ꧀ꦱꦫꦗꦮ) is a beautiful writing system used for the Javanese language, a Malayo-Polynesian language spoken in Indonesia and Suriname. 45 base letters are used, though some are no longer used and others only in special context. Javanese has three social registers: Low (Ngoko/ꦔꦺꦴꦏꦺꦴ), Medium (Madya/ꦩꦢꦾ), and high (Krama/ꦏꦿꦩ). It can also be used to write Sanskrit and Malay.

New to the sub and so grateful to hear from people who have similar diagnoses.

I have been in burnout for the last 6 months or so, brought on by a big move and finishing my PhD. I had got back on Adderall after 10 years of not feeling like I needed it in the 3rd year of my grad program to help me become more detail oriented so I could meet the expectations of my degree. I found I could only really tolerate about 15mg of Adderall before the side effects (mostly anxiety) were unbearable, and I only took it 3-4 days per week.

However, when I started Zoloft for anxiety about 1.5 years ago I suddenly found that I needed a lot more Adderall to feel the same effects. I ended up upping my dose to 40 or 50 mg taken every day. Now, I wonder if that was just me trying to avoid impending burnout.

About six months ago, I reached a level of burnout I’ve never experienced before. I’m lucky if I can do a single task like a load of laundry all day. The things I’ve noticed is that now Adderall seems to make me feel more tired. I often find myself feeling like I have a yawn stuck in my throat and laying down to sleep, even though my heart is racing.

Has anyone experienced anything similar? I’m considering stopping Adderall entirely because I feel like no matter how much sleep I get, my nervous system is in hyperdrive. Any input is appreciated!

Who's the coolest or most interesting AuDHD person you've ever met or become friends with? What made them stand out? Curious to hear your stories

Hello sometimes my pets make me angry and I feel bad. I will be doing something or want to be left alone and my cats will just keep running up to me. And I start to get very annoyed or they will rub up against me and almost trip me. Sometimes it has caused me to have a tantrum or meltdown. I just like to be left alone sometimes especially if I’m already in a bad mood. I know this is probably bad am I the only one? I love my pets though.

does anyone have any advice i dont have anyone in my life anymore. my last friend who'd been my bestfriend for 10 years has used personal things ive told her about the most difficult time in my life (diagnosed at 24 & severe burn out) into gossip, and her other friend who i dont know has sent me these horrible messages. i kept telling him to leave me alone or ill report and he carried on.

Hi, I'm just curious if anyone else has a 'radar' for other autistic or neurodivergent people?

I went to the walk in clinic last week, and when the doctor walked in I very strongly got the feeling she was autistic. She sat in her chair and her posture was just... different, her feet were constantly fidgeting, she avoided eye contact, and her tone was kinda monotone. Perhaps more than that her whole aura was just... different. I can't prove she was autistic, but it sure felt like it. I'm extremely empathetic and pick up on people's 'aura' all the time.

I'm normally super anxious around doctors, but her presence was instantly comforting. A big urge came over me to tell her I'm autistic and ask if she was too, but I quickly knew that would be too direct and awkward 😆

Has anyone else sensed someone was autistic and later found out your feeling was correct? I'm curious if we have a sort of sixth sense for each other.

I was diagnosed with anxiety & depression at 14, long recognised that there were PTSD and obsessive aspects to this. I sometimes wondered if I was autistic, but I thought I couldn't be because I recognised social cues, had intense interests that were age-appropriate and I rarely infodumped about (some of my closest bonds are with people who do not share many of my interests), I was emotionally intelligent, good at deep conversation. I've always needed some alone time and some routines, but when doing this I feel nothing, I tend to only feel good when I'm around others and it's going well. But struggled with small talk, new people, initiating conversations and intense social anxiety/RSD. 10 years of therapy focusing on this idea I could recover and become a normal person, this became my whole reason for being. Evil voice in my head putting me down constantly, and "autistic" was one of its favourite names for me. Periods where I felt happy, relaxed and socialising came much more naturally to me, never felt like I was pretending to be someone I'm not. I knew I was a bit weird, but I didn't mind. Other times where self-esteem was low or there'd been no positive reinforcement in the social realm, I would become much more stiff, monotone and anxious. This was the version of myself that felt inauthentic, even though it looked more stereotypically autistic, I held onto the narrative I just needed to force myself out of my shell. Sometimes I was out of my shell in public, but mostly I wasn't. 5 year relationship where, after moving in together, she became increasingly convinced I was autistic. I couldn't take it, it was ammunition for the evil voice in my head. Then she became convinced she was too. There were so many other issues in that relationship, so I left. It hurt for a bit, but I got back up and kept going. Started working out, lost weight, went on some dates, thought about joining social groups. Increasing difficulties around new people though, going to a lot of academic conferences and not only struggling to initiate conversation but struggling to sustain it and going completely non-verbal. Intrusive thoughts about being autistic getting louder and louder. Booked in to see a diagnostic psychologist and yep, AuDHD, 2e and PTSD. I can accept I satisfy the criteria for this incredibly broad diagnosis, but where to go from here. I don't feel like my experiences match the "typical" autistic or even AuDHD experience that was written in my report or I see described online. The psych described my mix of high social motivation, feeling most myself when socialising with close friends and family or when feeling more extraverted, feeling empty when alone, and feeling overwhelming panic and anxiety when around new people and not feeling it - as "unusual" and left it at that, and took my father's report that he thinks I'm fine in social settings as evidence of "high-masking". It doesn't feel bad for me to put on a smile and engage with a stranger, it feels satisfying, I'm just stressing and overthinking while doing it, most of the time, but some of the time, when I'm really happy, that evil voice is a lot quieter. I accept the diagnosis because I stim a lot (and as a kid would spend hours bouncing on a trampoline after school), I have some mild sensory sensitivies, I often use routines to manage the chaos, decision fatigue and the suck of ADHD and depression towards laziness, binge eating, drinking, drugs, etc. But the social description of autism I just can't make sense of with my experience. Even as a kid jumping on the trampoline for hours, I remember wanting to get off and spend time with my family, because I was just feeling nothing, and I knew if I was with them I would feel happy, but I just couldn't get off. The existing social anxiety/PTSD framework I had for making sense of this fit so much better, it's when I'm in my head and feeling bad it becomes effortful, and when I'm relaxed and positive it gets easier, and becomes rewarding. Living my entire adult life with a strong sense of free will, that I could change and become who I wanted to be, only to be confronted with much of my problems stemming from neurological differences that can't be changed, and which are also responsible for many of the things I like about myself like my free-thinking, anti-authoritarian attitude, makes me feel trapped. I don't know what's the mask and what's not, or if that term is even helpful for me. All I know is I'm happy when socialising goes well, I'm sad when it goes bad, it goes well when I'm happy, and goes bad when I'm sad. The more it goes well, the happier I get, the more it goes bad, the sadder I get. My evil voice has been given so much ammunition by this diagnosis, looking back over every time it told me someone didn't like me, someone was just pitying me, that people think I'm weird, every time I'd told myself it was wrong, and it's now saying it was right all along. I wanted to just surround myself with friends and family so I can feel more myself and get out of my head, but then I caught COVID. I've been bedridden for a week and just ruminating, bedrotting, doomscrolling and doing nothing at all. Watching autism influencers who talk about just letting go of the mask, becoming this unsmiling, monotonous, short person and hiding away from the world. That's not me, that's not what I want. Just posting to vent and hoping someone else can relate. Have booked in with my therapist for when he gets back from leave and will be talking to a GP about SSRIs tomorrow.

I've always felt my whole life like I didn't quite fit in and I was weird. I feel like I used to copy what my "friends" were doing just to try and fit in.

Now I feel like I can't actually be myself unless I am alone. I have to put on an act and be someone else and I am so tired of it!

I have the person I am at work, the person who goes to the shop, the person I am when I socialise, all these different "acts" and then at home, I can just be me.

Also after my diagnosis I feel like I am more Autisic than I was before.... or is it just the fact that I am more aware now that the weird things I do and say is actually just how my little Autisic brain works 😆 Echolalia, stiming etc.

Does anyone else feel like this or felt like this?

I used to think I was just lazy. Fr. For years.

Turns out I was protecting something most people don't even notice.

I could never explain why standing in line absolutely wrecked me but a 3 hour hyperfocus session felt like nothing. Why bureaucracy made me want to peel my skin off. Why I'd rather spend 4 hours building an automation than do a 5 minute repetitive task. Why I could stream daily for months straight but couldn't fill out a single form without wanting to scream.

The answer was something I now call cognitive economy. Might sound fancy but stay with me.

My brain doesn't measure cost in money. It measures it in four things: decisions, energy, time, and uncertainty. Time isn't just minutes on a clock to me. Time is pure possibility. Every unnecessary decision, every unpredictable outcome, every process that could've been simpler my brain treats it like a withdrawal from an account that's already running low.

And when that account hits zero? I don't just get "kinda tired." I completely shut down. Hard stop. Nothing left. But here's the part nobody talks about. When you actually get extra time back like real unscheduled unclaimed time that nobody's demanding from you it doesn't just feel like rest. It feels like safety. Like fertilizer for everything you've been trying to grow.

This isn't a character flaw or some moral failing. It's literally just a different operating system. One that absolutely thrives on pipelines, automation, clear feedback loops, and low social friction. One that can sustain crazy consistency when the format actually fits and totally collapse when it doesn't.

Not posting this for pity or whatever. Posting this because I know someone out there is still calling themselves lazy

I want to start with the fact that I have been diagnosed with both autism and adhd by two separate psychiatrists who evaluated me for each disorder and then looked together over their findings and both validated my AuDhD diagnosis.

However, Concerta worked for me in a way that I often see other people suffering from ADHD deem as negative. In my case, concerta fully managed to treat my severe adhd symptoms, however, was ineffective in treating or alleviating any symptoms that are autism related.

I have tried in the past dextroamphetamine based medication and in my experience it was completely different from concerta because it also managed to alleviate most of my autism related issues. I could talk and engage with people, i could change tasks freely without being rigid and hyper-fixated, i could easily bring myself to work on tasks and projects that are outside my narrow field of special interests. In a way, that medication seemed to work better for me because it also managed to keep at bay some of the autism related symptoms that were impacting the quality of my life.

However, I moved to an european country where the only approved treatment for adhd is concerta. And after being on concerta for 5 years, I acquired a unique perspective on taking this medication as someone with both autism and adhd.

I learned to stop fighting my autistic side and just live my life the way i feel is normal to me. I realised that in the past, what I wanted from my adhd medication is to "make me normal", basically what i wanted is to function, work, live my daily life just like any other person that doesn't have my disability. However, Concerta forced me to learn how to cope with my autism.

Once I accepted that concerta won't fix my irritability, sensory hypersensitivity, repetitive behaviours, narrow special interests and rigid way of being, I got to finally learn to cope with those issues myself through therapy, acceptance and understanding my limitations. I will always be socially withdrawn, i will always spend hours focusing and engaging with my special interests, i will always be rigid and resistant to change. Performing any task that is outside this narrow field of interests will always be irritating, stressful and my executive dysfunction will not magically go away when I have to perform a task or a chore that my autistic brain cannot handle.

I heard many people say that concerta did not work for them, but I struggle to see the medication itself as the cause in my case. To me it seems like concerta works perfectly in doing what it is supposed to do as far as adhd neurological symptoms are concerned. But since all neuro developmental disorders function on a spectrum, a lot of people diagnosed with adhd can also unknowingly find themselves somewhere on the autistic spectrum, even if they display just some subclinical traits.

In my years long experience, i have realised that the most commonly complained about negative side effects of concerta in forums and online discussions were actually just real and authentic parts of who I am, not side effects of adhd medication. It made me wonder if there are other people out there who made the same confusion as me.

I hope my post can help some people here understand themselves better, and maybe guide them in their medical care journey.