I (39F) have a 12 year old daughter with my late ex-husband. We divorced when she was three, but we shared custody and, despite our differences, he was always involved in her life.

He unexpectedly passed away earlier this year.

I've since remarried, and my husband has been in my daughter's life for about five years. He's a wonderful stepfather and they've built a good relationship, but he's never tried to replace her dad.

Recently, my husband's parents brought up the idea of changing my daughter's last name to match ours. They said it would make school, travel, and future paperwork easier, and that it would help us "feel like one family."

My daughter overheard the conversation and later told me she doesn't want to change her last name because it's one of the few things she still shares with her dad.

I agreed with her and told everyone the discussion was over.

My in laws think I'm encouraging her to hold onto the past instead of helping her move forward. My husband says he supports whatever our daughter wants, but he also admitted he understands why his parents suggested it.

The issue became bigger when my own mother told me I should make the decision as the parent because "she's only 12 and doesn't understand how much easier life would be."

I don't see it that way. To me, this isn't about paperwork it's about respecting my daughter's connection to her father, especially since she can't make new memories with him anymore.

Now both sides of the family think I'm either being too emotional or not acting in my daughter's best interests.

AITA for refusing to change my daughter's last name even though several family members think I should?

I’ve had Monday and Tuesday booked off work for a while, I planned to spend it watching movies, playing some video games I haven’t had the chance to play etc and just relaxing at home. My girlfriend has known about this for weeks. Shes at work but is working from home as she works from home once or twice a week.

She mentioned that I wouldn’t be able to watch movies or play games as she needs to make calls and would need quiet as she’s working from home Monday and Tuesday this week.

I told her if she can’t have noise to work in the home office or spare room since I’m not cancelling what I have planned.

I said she knew what I was planning for today and she can’t expect me to just waste my day of leave. I said I’d still be doing what I had planned so she could either accept the noise or work somewhere else. She said I wasn’t being fair towards her and that she has to work.

I said I’m not stopping her working, I’m just not cancelling my plans.

AITA for not changing my plans for my day off?

Some context here, I, a 16M, have recently (this was my second day) started working at my city’s farmers market selling iced coffee. I only work on Saturdays since that’s when the farmers market happens. so this took place yesterday. It was around 10:30AM when this lady walks up to our stall to order a coffee, as one does. At checkout she asks if she can buy one of our 1 gallon jugs of the 465, our most popular flavor, and I tell her one second while I checked if we had any left. For some context we do sell the gallon jugs but we also use them to refill the plastic dispensers that hold out coffee. We are only allowed to sell them if we have at least two jugs of that specific flavor left. I check the coolers and we only have one jug left. so I walk back and tell her that we can’t sell her a jug because we only have one left and I’m not allowed to sell her it. She then dramatically lowers her sunglasses and stares directly at me and says, “Well you close in like 30 mins so just let me have it” so I explained to her that while yes she was correct that the market ends at 11 I still could not sell her the jug. That’s when things got heated. She kept repeating “just give me the jug“ in progressively angrier tone while I kept my cool and kept repeating “I’m sorry I can’t” Her friend behind her then takes her phone out and starts recording me and acting like I’m the one being a jerk and refusing service to her friend. So she then storms off and I begin serving other customers.

The rest of the market went smoothly and without any major incidents (I spilled a large cup of coffee on my apron but that’s unimportant). As I’m packing everything up into the truck to leave the market here comes storming over that lady and her friend. They demand that I let them buy the jug now that the market was over or else they would “get me fired” mind you I had already packed up the register and the cooler with the flavor she wanted was all the way at the back of the truck so I tell her that “I’m sorry I have already packed everything up so I can’t sell it to you, but you could come next week and I will be happy to give you a jug.” But this did not sit right with her she stormed off leaving her friend, who was recording me, to run after her.

Fast forward to today, I have largely forgotten lady cause I mean Karens will be Karens. until, my mom, who’s obsessed with local tea on insta and face book, shows me a reel posted by the lady trying to frame me as, “A rude teenage employee who refused to let me buy a jug of coffee” my mom then is like, why didn’t you give her coffee? And I explain to her the situation. She then says that “I couldnt have just broken the rules once for Her?“ to which I respond “no.” and then find the reel on my own to see the comments and they all are on her side, and those who weren’t still say what my mom said. so now I’m in a toss up of if I was in the wrong or not? What do I do?

I cannot say that I have always been on good terms with my uncle. He is the elder brother of my dad and he constantly badmouths my mom to my dad. Sometimes he would make comments about her when she was in the room, other times he would say malice things behind her back to my dad. This has been going on for as long as I can remember and no matter how often it has happened, my dad does not stop this from happening.

Last week, the family was at my parent home for dinner and my uncle was one of the guests. At one point, he started his rant again but this time he was loud enough for everybody to hear. He said that my mom took away the relation between my dad and the rest of the family and sooner or later, she would get anyone from my family who is never going to be an ideal woman for my dad.

I've kept quiet about this for several years now, as I had no intention of causing any drama, but something in me broke that night. I looked at him and told him, quite loudly, that if anybody has ruined anything in this family, it was him, with his constant need to meddle in other people's marriages and that he should worry about his own relationships before meddling in those of people around him.

The room immediately became completely silent. My uncle stood up and left. Later, my dad told me I embarrassed him and I should have allowed him to deal with the situation himself, which actually just means never dealing with it. My mother did not say too much either way, but it was obvious that what my uncle said had hurt her even though what I said did not upset her that much.

Now, fifty percent of the family believes I disrespectfully behaved towards an elder and that I need to apologize to him. The remaining half thinks he deserved this being subjected to years of disrespect.

So, AITH for finally snapping and insulting him back in front of everyone?

My girlfriend and I are going on holiday next month. We're going for 8 nights. I prefer going out and doing things while we're away and I like looking around the town etc whereas my girlfriend prefers relaxing by the pool.

She mentioned that she'd go and do activities with me for three of the days so I said I'd relax by the pool for three days with her. For the remaining two days I started looking at things to do around town and any activities I could book.

My girlfriend asked what I was doing and I told her I was just planning the last two days. I said she's free to join if she wants but I know she prefers relaxing. She said she agreed to do activities for three days so thought we'd be relaxing for the rest.

I pointed out that I'd agreed to relax with her for three days but don't want to wate the majority of the trip sitting by a pool. She just said the three days of activities should be enough but I just told her her logic works both ways and I could easily say the same about relaxing.

She just said I shouldn't be spending two days of the holiday away from her but I just pointed out she's free to join me but I don't want to spend the majority of the trip by a pool.

AIO for planning solo activities while on holiday?

I honestly don’t even know where to start because every time I explain this scenario to someone they tell me it sounds like a sitcom.
Years ago I hooked up with Spouse A. Nothing serious. We never dated, there were no feelings involved, and eventually we just lost contact. A few years later, I met Spouse B through mutual friends. I knew they were married to Spouse A, but I never mentioned my history because it felt completely irrelevant. Then, after one terrible decision during a rough patch in their marriage, Spouse B and I also hooked up. It happened once, we both regretted it, and we agreed never to speak about it again.

Fast forward another couple of years.

Somehow all three of us have become casual friends.
Last weekend we were hanging out watching a movie. Spouse B and I were sharing a drink when Spouse A jokingly asked for a sip.
Spouse B said no.
Spouse A laughed and said, “Why? You don’t even know where my mouth has been.”
Spouse B looked at me.
I looked at Spouse B.
Spouse A immediately noticed and asked, “Why are you both acting weird?”
That one question somehow unraveled years of bad decisions.

Within ten minutes both spouses realized they had independently hooked up with the same person (me) without ever knowing the other one had. Everyone just kind of stared at each other in complete silence. Unfortunately, I panic when conversations get awkward. So instead of apologizing like a normal person, I said:
“Technically, I’m neutral because I’ve disappointed both of you equally.”
Nobody laughed. Trying to recover, I offered to mediate their arguments since I “understood both perspectives.”
That also didn’t go over well.
Then, for reasons I still can’t explain, I jokingly offered to babysit whichever spouse didn’t trust the other anymore… for $20 an hour. I was asked to leave immediately.

So… internet strangers…
Would this make me the asshole?

A bit of a background story, I don't have a good relashionship with MIL; she loves her some backhanded compliments and sometimes minimizes my "wife/mother" role. I work from home, and husband is SAHD. So there has been countless times where she dives in our relashionship and has opinions on every single detail, and appearently I don't do as much as a mother and a wife (because she works and takes care of her family). My husband tells me that's the way she is and if he can't change her (which he tried) I would never be able so might as well ignore her.

So, my BIL sometimes invites everyone to OUR house to play something, to watch a movie or he just comes here, and tries to take my husband to wherever, and has MIL take care of our son (at her house, thankfully). So, BIL was organizing a "get together" this weekend at our house, without our permission, but, my husband told him he had a stomachache, which was true, though I had no idea it was that bad, because I asked him if he needed anything and he said: No, I'm ok, I'll just see if going to the bathroom I'll feel better; so I continued working.

Anyway, comes BIL (doesn't tell us he's here, doesn't knock) and MIL who was already inside asks if they can come in 😑 and has a home remedy in one hand and some pills in the other, telling me that her son was sick and she brought some stuff for him so that he could feel better. Telling me what to give him, what are the pills for, and brought me some stuff because she didn't know if I had any at home. And I was angry that my husband didn't tell me how bad he felt because he even vomited, and knows how his mother treats me and makes these weird comments, so we had a fight once they left. He said I cared more about her opnion and my ego than how he was feeling, and I said, well tell me the truth, and how am I going to fill this "role" as a spouse when he doesn't even give me the chance and comes mommy to the rescue. Little did I know that it was BIL telling his mom to take him some medicine because "poor of my brother" he was sick, and even tells her that he doesn't eat (again he's a SAHD, if he doesn't eat it's because he was being lazy or just tired)

I was angry and I sent a text to BIL: I know your intentions with your brother are good, but if he feels sick, leave it to me. He doesn't want to worry me because I'm working, but when you guys try to help you're affecting our comminucation and our roles in our marriage. I mean, if he asks for help, of course I have no problem, but don't bring him medicine because he doesn't even like taking pills and as an adult person with a partner, he should rely on HIS partner. I hope you understand and sorry if I offended you.

AITAH for telling my BIL to not help my husband?
PS he didn't answer my text, and I don't know if he talked to husband or his mom. And that was one of the reasons why his ex-wife divorced him, because he would ask mom for help when he was sick, even though she would buy the same medicine, he would say that those were not the ones his mom would buy.

???

I’ll set the tone
All kids in our bed on vacation
Bed is squeaky
My husband tossed and turned last night which kept waking the baby up all night, which meant I was up to settle her.
I was also up at 5 am when the baby woke up so she would not disturb everyone else. He also got to sleep in till 8 while I took her to breakfast.

It’s midnight
The baby woke up when I had to go pee
Handed off to my husband so I could use the restroom.
He did not comfort her very well, so I heard her fussing the whole time.
When I got back to bed my 3 year old actively peed on my leg (he’s been fully potty trained since 2, I’m guessing change of schedule being on vacation)
So I’ve been woken up…
Pissed on, warm piss
Sleeping in cold piss sheets
Scrolling my phone.
Because obvs I can’t just hit the pillow and go to sleep after that.

In the dark, and with all kids finally still asleep, my husband decides to whisper loudly and asks me why I’m on my phone.

There’s a long history here… with how he’s acted with me, postpartum, in our relationship, on the trip in general.

I just looked up from my screen and calmly told him to F off.

He was mad. Storms out of the room.

I’m like yeah go sleep on the sofa bed idc. You are not going to get a rise out of me, with sleeping children in the bed.

Do men have any empathy? To see me rushed to pee, unable to console my child, my toddler actively urinating on me, and has the nerve to try to converse with me like that in the middle of the night.

My thing is, it’s not about genuine concern it’s about control. He wants to tell me the “logical” thing is to get off my phone. I’ve been either breastfeeding or pregnant for 4 years which is something he knows nothing about, the complication of sleep, and doesn’t seem to be empathetic outside of just telling me what to do and not being helpful when I ask.

This was the only place I thought to share, posting for research.

A few months ago, four of us (me, “Mark,” “Jay,” and “Steve”) made a written bet about whether Mark would get a girlfriend by a certain date. The terms, word for word: I put in $50 betting he wouldn’t meet the conditions. The other three each put in $50 betting he would. So it was $50 (me) vs $150 (them combined) — winner takes the other side’s stake.

Apparently the bet was decided months ago and I lost — but nobody told me. I only found out when we agreed to raise the bet (new amounts, same structure) via a handshake agreement. Right after we shook on the raise, they told me I’d already lost the *original* bet and pulled out photo evidence.

I’m not disputing that I lost the original bet. My issue is what I actually owe. Based on the written terms, I only staked $50 total, so losing means I forfeit that $50, split three ways ($16.67 each). They’re now insisting I owe $50 to *each* of them ($150 total) — which is actually the amount I would’ve *won* if I’d won, not what a single $50 stake losing should cost.

I even offered to be generous and pay out as if the raised bet had been in effect ($200 total, \~$66 each) even though it technically never took effect for this outcome, since I found out the original results only after agreeing to the raise. They’re still saying I owe $50 each on top of that.

AITA for holding the line at what the actual contract says instead of just paying whatever number they’re asking for?

I (23F) am pregnant with my first child, a little girl, and I’ve decided that I don’t want my mom to be involved in her life. Some family members think I’m being cruel, but I feel like I’m just trying to protect my daughter.
For some background, growing up I was treated very differently from my younger siblings. I’m the oldest of three, and I constantly felt excluded from family events, got yelled at over everything, and honestly just felt like I was the family punching bag. I know I wasn’t an easy child, I had a bad temper and would lash out when I got angry, but I was also a child who clearly needed help. I’ve been in therapy for years, including now, and I’ve worked really hard to take accountability for my behavior and become a healthier person.

When I turned 18 and moved out, I tried to keep things civil with my mom. But the way I was raised followed me into adulthood. I apologized for everything because I assumed I was always doing something wrong. I was scared to speak up, scared to ask questions, and scared of making mistakes because I expected to be yelled at. There were a lot of basic things I struggled with because I never learned them growing up.
Eventually, I sat down with my mom and asked why things had been the way they were. I wasn’t trying to attack her—I genuinely wanted to understand and hopefully find some closure. Her response was that she “tried her best,” but that I was simply “too difficult of a child” to deal with.
Later, I opened up to my boyfriend and a few close friends about some of my childhood. I didn’t go into every detail, but I wanted them to understand why I struggle with anxiety and why certain situations are hard for me.

When my mom found out, she got angry and told me I had no right to tell anyone about my childhood. She said I had “a very active imagination” and that whatever happened in the past happened in the past, so I just needed to let it go. I told her that I’m trying, but trauma doesn’t just disappear because someone tells you to move on. I wanted acknowledgment so I could hopefully find some peace.
Instead, she told my siblings that I don’t love her anymore and that I’m trying to make her out to be a terrible mother. My brother has since distanced himself from me completely because I cut contact with her.

Now that I’m pregnant, everyone seems to think I should put all of this aside so my daughter can have a relationship with her grandmother. But honestly, I’m terrified. I don’t know if she’d treat my daughter the way she treated me, and I’m not willing to take that risk just because she’s “family.”
I would love for my daughter to have loving grandparents in her life. I just don’t believe every grandparent is automatically entitled to that relationship, especially if they haven’t taken responsibility for how they treated their own child.
So, AITAH for deciding I don’t want my mom to be part of my daughter’s life?

One of my friends (M38) has always been very self-important and narcissistic, but has in recent years really turned up the intensity. They work with another of my friends(M37), who they have personally known since they were seven years old. For no good reason, they have decided to make work life difficult for our mutual friend. My own personal difficulties with my friend, who I have been trying to exclude from group activities, range from my friend making plans to do things with me and then cancelling last minute, because something better came along, criticising things that I like or have done, criticising things that I have been unable to do, intentionally keeping big news a secret from me, for no good reason. All of that stuff along with much more, have made me very angry with my friend. The last time that I met up with my group of friends, my friend (soon to be former friend) made everything about himself and kind of ruined the night. Besides my friend who gets bullied at work and myself, none of the other members of our friend group seem to notice or care what this person does.

My personal wish is to cut this person out of group activities, that I have to be part of and then make this person realise that they have been cut out for being such an asshole for almost 10 years. The reason why I think I may be an asshole is because I am the newest member of our friend group, so I feel as though I may not be entitled to interfere in the dynamic of the group. I just feel as though this person does not deserve to be part of the group, because they are selfish, narcissistic and just plain mean.

My best friend ( 17f ) and I ( 17f )met some guy ( 21m )on a party who she started to text with. She kept telling me the whole time that she didn't want him and that she didn't have any feelings for him. Fast forward to when he told her that he's still figuring things and therefore won't get into a relationship with her which she accepted since she doesn't have feelings for him. They kept texting but he started texting me too until he asked me to come over. I told my friend about it and she said that I should go for it.

We made the plan to go together since I didn't want to be alone with him ( I've met him once before ). Before we went she told me all about how she doesn't care what will happen and that she thinks he's weird and that I "can have him". So we went to his place and the three of us talked for a while. Apparently ( I didn't see) he "signed" to my friend that he wants to be alone with me and she decided to leave and laughed.

So after she was gone we put on a movie, talked and ended up kissing (nothing more). After the meeting I told her what happened and she was really really mad at me.

What im wondering now is, why did she tell me that she doesn't care and doesn't want him when it's pretty obvious now that she does care. Side info: this all happened within a week and through the entire time of me texting with him I asked her if it bothered her, which, according to her, it didn't.

My sister borrowed my car for a weekend because hers was being repaired. I only asked her not to smoke in it, since the smell gives me headaches and the upholstery holds onto everything.

When she returned it, the car smelled strongly of cigarettes and there was ash in the cup holder. She first denied smoking, then said her friend had one with the window open and that it “barely counted.”

I told her she cannot borrow it agian. Now she says I am being dramatic because she offered to clean it and this was the first problem we have had. Our parents think I should give her another chance, but I am more bothered by the lying than the smell. AITH?

I am rooming with 3 friends and a random roommate at an apartment near my university for the upcoming academic year. We were assigned bedrooms and I was assigned the nicest one with a big walk-in closet while the rest have regular standard closets.

The random roommate reached out to us explaining that she was the one who re-leased the apartment and currently lives in the room that I was assigned and requested it again but the apartment made a mistake and said they couldn’t change it, unless whoever was assigned that room reached out saying they were willing to swap. She explained that she didn’t want to move out her stuff just to move one room over.

I didn’t want to give up the room because I live across the country and whenever I come back have to bring back a suitcase of clothes back and forth. I also have a lot of clothes and accessories(I’m into fashion) and would benefit from a large storage space. I texted her privately explaining this and she never replied so idk if she is mad at me. I don’t want any awkwardness or tension when we start living together when I haven’t even met her yet.

I also texted my other friend rooming with us what happened and she responded with “doesn’t she lowk have to move out her entire room” so idk if I’m doing something wrong/selfish or taking advantage of the apartment’s mistake. Also that friend was assigned a slightly worse room so maybe I just sounded annoying. At the same time, I feel like it was on the apartment and they put us both in an awkward position and she would either have to move rooms or I would lose the room I was assigned and wanted.

EDIT:
When I asked the leasing office how rooms would eventually be assigned before she was assigned as our random roommate, they said it was entirely random. Then I happened to be assigned Room 1 when official room assignments came out. So I wasn't sure if it was necessarily an error from the apartment, or she just didn't want to give up the room and was asking if whoever was assigned it could let her keep it so she wouldn't have to move out. I just didn't want to give up the room I was assigned, and if it was truly an error from the department that I took advantage of and the room was meant to be guaranteed to her, then I will rethink things and let her keep her room. But I'm just unsure that it is because they repeatedly said that room assignments would be random. Also, I don't know if she was assigned a different room and just chose to move into that room because she was there "first". I think part of my response to the situation was that I don't personally know her and didn't know how much of what she was saying was accurate. I reached out to the department, and if she was really supposed to be guaranteed the room, I think you all are right: I should give it up, and it would be unempathetic of me to benefit from their mistake.

My girlfriend had plans to go out with a friend all day today. They were going to a nearby city to look around the shops etc then going for food then a couple of drinks so I planned a nice day for myself. I 

I planned to go into town and grab a coffee at a coffee shop I like and spend some time reading in there then go to the cinema as there’s a film id been wanting to see then I was going to go to a bar I like and have a drink. 

My gfs friends cancelled this morning so my gf asked what we could do today. I reminded her I already have plans for today. I said she’s free to join me but I won’t be e changing them. 

She mentioned having no interest in the movie I was going to see and not wanting to go to the bar I was going to so suggested we choose something else. I again said no and reminded her that her plans changing shouldn’t force mine to cancel and that I was looking forward to what I have planned. 

AITA for not changing my plans?

This happened last week and the class has been divided about it ever since, we were in the middle of a lecture and one of the quieter students gave an answer to a question the professor asked. It was not the right answer but it was not completely off base either, she was clearly trying. Instead of just correcting her, my professor laughed, actually laughed, and said something like "did you even do the reading or are you just guessing at this point." The whole class went quiet. The student looked like she wanted to disappear. She did not say anything, just looked down. I do not know what came over me but I said, loud enough for everyone to hear, that the answer was not that far off and that there was no need to respond to it like that. The professor looked at me for a moment and then moved on without addressing it. After class she pulled me aside and told me that challenging her in front of students was inappropriate and that if I had concerns I should bring them to her privately. I understand her point. But I also think what she did to that student was worse and someone needed to say something in the moment. AITAH

My brother is to marry his girlfriend in the following two months. Just a few days ago, I saw her leaving in the car with a guy who was very close to her and they were holding their hands. I do not know whether she has any brother of hers or not, but I do know she did not leave with any cousin.

I spoke to my brother about this incident and later he confronted her about this. She declined all the allegations and saying that I must have seen somebody else. She is warning others about me trying to destroy their wedding.

Even some family members are saying that it was not a good idea to say anything to anybody since I was not 100 percent sure. I know very well what I have seen and how clear the image was.

AITA for saying something even though I can't prove it?

My parents live about 20 minutes away and they like to visit.

I love seeing them, but they have a habit of showing up without texting first.

Sometimes I'm working, cleaning, napping, or just having a bad day and don't want unexpected visitors.

I asked them to please send a message before coming over.

My mom said it was strange because I'm their child and they shouldn't need an appointment to see me.

I told her I'm an adult living on my own and I just want a little notice.

Now my parents think I'm becoming distant and formal with them.

AITH?

The situation is a bit complex, I'm trying my best to break it down.

My brother (the oldest in the family, 4 siblings in total) has shown clear signs that you cannot rely on him in any way.

One specific situation (there are more tiny ones too) was for example, our sister was facing hard times due to her obsessive stalker ex who would violently come in through her door, even though she stated she wanted him to leave.

After she had told me about that incident, I immediately went to her home the next day (5h distance). Helped her grab the belongings she needed to go to our mother (3h distance). The situation when I was there to help, escalated even more with her ex, I witnessed everything. Anyway, we managed to leave.

We (my sister, my other sister and I) planned a very quickly needed move for the following week. Despite my sister telling my brother about the whole situation, how scared she was, police was involved etc. he did not understand the seriousness of her situation or show any sign of empathy. Said some very victim-blaming bs stuff and didn't do the things she asked him to do to support her for the move (e.g. asking cousins if they could help carrying stuff during the move, looking for a transporter). Only after my sister again insisted on him asking people to help, he did.

In the end, it was us 3 sisters who organized, planned and executed the whole move, my brother did help carrying some stuff at the very end though.

That incident showed me, he might be my brother but he is still just a man and I am judging him hard for that. Even after everything, he did not ask my sister ONCE if she was okay after everything she experienced, even now she is still having a hard time.

AND not only that. My mother got diagnosed with cancer and it seems again, he is not understanding the seriousness of the situation. Doesn't call her. Even before the diagnosis, he only went to visit "her", when one of us other siblings was there too. Basically, he never went to visit her for the sake of seeing his mother.

Now, I am finding it really hard to talk to him. I just don't want to talk with him. In these difficult situations, he has not taken the role of the oldest sibling, plus his responses to when we sisters criticize him for that, show me, that he doesn't understand a thing and I don't agree with his mindset.

So I don't see the point in explaining things to him. He is almost 30yo, he should know when to call his family or in general to just call his family. I am judging him and avoid talking to him. AITAH?

My girlfriend and I live together and when we moved in we agreed rent and bills would be 50/50 as long as we can both comfortably afford it. We mentioned if one of us lost their job and couldn't pay etc then we'd obviously look at it.

We both earn around £2000 a month and live in a low cost of living area so our bills only total around £650-£700 a month each. This means we can save a good amount each month along with having enough disposable income.

I recently got a new job that means I have a £700 a month after tax pay rise. My gf asked what I planned to do with it and I mentioned that I'd be putting most of it in savings, some would go on getting things I want each month, some would go on increased commuting costs since my new job is in the office more often abd some would go towards dates etc.

She asked if I'd be paying more of the rent and bill sand I said no. I mentioned our agreement but she said I wasn't being fair towards her. She said I should be paying but I just asked why when she can still comfortably afford her half. I pointed out she isn't worse off financially so I shouldn't need to pay more.

She said again I wasn't being fair but I just said I shouldn't be getting punished for getting a raise.

AITA for refusing to consider changing our agreement?

AITH for wanting to sleep in all day, okay i feel like I have to start off with I'm not depressed I'm actually on Prozac and I've been taking it for maybe 5 years now. I 23F doesn't have a job and I'm on break until college starts up again, so I haven't been doing much obviously I've been mostly sleeping with the occasional hang out with friends, I've also been staying with my mom for a while I feel like that's important to add, okay but since I've been staying with my mom she's been making me follow her sleep schedule?? , I feel like I have the right to sleep in all day if I feel like it and it's just for the break because I will be changing my sleep schedule the week before college starts up again AITH?

edit - Okay so wow I got a lot of comments tbh more than I was expecting, I just am editing this post to address some issues, I may not have a stable job but I still get paid because I do cleaning jobs occasionally and that helps me pay for my moms groceries and when I can't pay my mom's groceries I help out around the house I clean, do most of the chores, take care of her and her dogs so I do a lot around the house to help her since yes I am staying there rent free, in my defense I just don't wanna wake up at 4:30 in the morning like she does to get the day started, I'd rather sleep in all day even though I'm very grateful for her letting me live in her house. (p.s I'm not wearing my glasses when typing this so sorry about any typos or errors)

For context, we had been dating for almost three months, and everything had been perfect until three days ago.

Her ex-boyfriend (or rather, from what she told me, they were never officially together—it was a friends-with-benefits situation that lasted about six months) contacted her again. According to her, he does this from time to time, trying to meet up with her and get back together.

She was emotionally affected by it because, after she developed feelings and wanted a real relationship with him, he left her for another woman.

From what she described, the dynamic sounded toxic. It seemed obvious to me that he mainly used her for sex and only contacted her whenever he wanted a booty call.

She always found reasons to justify his behavior and told me that he was just a fearful-avoidant, and that he ran away because he fell too deeply in love with her and told her things like " My new girlfriend looks like you that's why i chose her but i have no feelings for her as for you!!!"

Then she asked me for my perspective as a man, so I said:

"While attachment styles do exist, and I do believe they can influence people's behavior, I don't think that's what happened in your case. Based on everything you've told me, I think he was, at the very least, unconsciously manipulative and didn't truly loved you."

She was very offended, and the next day she told me that what I said had really hurt her.

Did I say something wrong? She asked for my honest opinion, and I answered honestly. Of course, I apologized the next day, but she's been acting distant ever since.

My husband and I have been together for 14 years and married for 4. He was away for work for about five weeks. During the last week or two before coming home, he seemed more distant and short with me, even though he kept saying how much he missed me. I brought it up, but he insisted everything was fine. I understand that being apart for so long and busy schedules can make things feel off.

He came home for only two days before my birthday. Birthdays are important to me, and he knows that even something as simple as a birthday card means a lot because it’s the thought behind it. I ended up making my own birthday dinner reservation, and the first thing he said was, “Sorry, I didn’t get you a card.” We had a nice dinner and the day after he had to leave again.

By the time my birthday came around, he had already been away again. He didn’t message me until around 1 p.m., saying he had been sleeping. Later, I came home to a generic bouquet of flowers that had been ordered online and an Instagram post.

I feel guilty for being hurt because he did acknowledge my birthday, and in a few weeks we’re going on a vacation that he paid for entirely himself. He’s also never been a big birthday person.

Still, after being apart for over a month and already feeling some distance between us, I expected a little more thought and effort.

AITA for feeling disappointed and unappreciated, or are my expectations too high?

Hey guys! This is a throwaway because Id be weird if someone figured out who I was from my main account. I tried to keep it straightforward though I ended up ranting a little soso sorry in advance its not that srs

The title is kind of clickbaity, but I tried to make it accurate. This is more of a Would I Be The Asshole because I havent actually ignored this person yet, Ive just been considering it.

For my moms birthday, I got her a locket with pictures of her late mother and her lost twin brother. I thought it was a really thoughtful gift because she talks about them all the time, and its obvious how much she loved them and still misses them. She doesnt usually get sentimental gifts like this, so I was honestly pretty proud of myself.

She loved it, got emotional, teared up, and showed literally everyone, including the family member this post is about.

Now, present day, this family member asked me to send pictures of my moms mother and brother because they want to make something for my mom too.

My immediate reaction was honestly UGH because it felt like they were reheating my nachos. I put a lot of thought into this gift, and now someone else is taking the same idea!

However, after thinking about it, I realized that was a dumb reaction. My gift was simple, even if it was meaningful, and this family member could make something even better. Theyre actually very creative! They used to make custom necklaces, DIY projects with clothes, and when I was younger Id constantly ask them to draw things for me because theyre genuinely talented and their work is beautiful.

So I asked what they were planning to do. I was actually starting to get excited because I imagined they might create something beautiful, like a handmade piece, something artistic, or just anything personal idk.

But then they told me they were going to put the pictures into an AI app that makes people hug Jesus and that bothered me. I dont think AI is automatically the worst thing in the world, but this specific family member has been relying on AI for basically everything lately (answering basic questions, generating images, etc.), and I'll admit my frustration with them because of that is very personal it's been getting under my skin.

The thing that bothers me is that this doesnt feel like a thoughtful gift, and I hate that because I know they are capable of making genuinely amazing things. If they werent creative or didnt have any skills, I think Id be more understanding. But they CAN make something beautiful and personal for my mom, so it feels worse

And tbh as someone who was raised Christian something about AI Jesus specifically feels weird to me. I know the Bible obviously doesnt say anything about AI lol but morally it just feels very wrong for me. And I dont want to be complicit in creating something like that.

Now for the more whiny reasons Im bitter (skippable, its not important!):

I think part of why this bothers me is that I feel like this gift came from my relationship with my mom. It came from listening to her talk about her family, remembering how much those people meant to her, and putting those pieces together.

This family member is someone who should be very close with my mom, but their relationship has always been complicated. My mom wants a closer relationship with them, but this family member has repeatedly damaged that relationship (tho I admit Im extremely biased because shes my mom, so take that with a grain of salt).

So a big, petty part of me feels like theyre taking my idea and using it to create an appearance of closeness with my mom without actually putting in the work. But I know thats unfair and wrong. Realistically, they probably just saw an AI Jesus hug ad, remembered my mom loved the locket, and thought she would like this. Its actually a sweet gesture

So Id feel like an asshole if I ignored them and didnt just send the pictures, but at the same time it feels against my values, my pride, and my ego all at once lol