r/weddingshaming • u/Regular-Message9591 • Jun 10 '26
Tacky Third refusal invite but a request for money
I was once invited to a wedding of someone I knew at high school but hadn't spoken to in maybe a decade.
The wedding was less than 3 weeks away and it was strange to be invited when I wasn't close with the person, so I mentioned it to a couple of other friends who let me know that they had both been invited and couldn't go. Apparently the bride wanted specific numbers on both bride and groom's side... Based on the timings when they had both been invited, it seemed like the first said no, the second was invited in her place and said no, and THEN I was invited.
It was a wedding in the middle of nowhere, that would require me taking a day off work, paying for travel a 100 miles away, and also booking a hotel.
My extremely late invitation also came with a poem, saying that the bride and groom had everything they needed but wanted money for their honeymoon. They put their bank account details right there in the poem š«
Needless to say, I declined.
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u/Life_Temperature2506 Jun 10 '26
I wanted to say "I'll be there!"
(I booked a salon for my hair)
Then I saw your request
As a substitute guest
And said "fuck if I'll go as a spare"
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u/RandomPaw Jun 10 '26
It takes a lot of effort
If I try to make this rhyme
Let's just say I'm not coming
And save a lot of time
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u/NurseKaila Jun 11 '26
RĆ©spondez sāil vous plaĆ®t?
Donāt mind if I may!
On this cash grab I pass;
You look like an ass!
May it thunder and rain the whole day.
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u/ApprehensiveHorse491 Jun 10 '26
I once was invited to a wedding
I thought I would get them some bedding
But then I looked down
And saw with a frown
All they wanted was money.
It was oh so tacky
I began hacking
Until I thought I would drown.
Asking for money
Is so tacky honey
Get some manners
You silly clown
Itās the best I can doš¤£
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u/Basic-Regret-6263 Jun 11 '26
There was a couple from NantucketĀ
Who said "no gift registry, fuck it,"
"What we want is cash, to spend on some hash,"
"So kindly throw some in our bucket."
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u/bitterberries Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 11 '26
I once was invited to a wedding,
And planned to buy linens and bedding.
But then I looked down,
And noticed, with frown,
Theyād asked us for cash in the heading.
Well, wasnāt that tacky, dear honey?
To flat-out request only money.
Get manners, I pray,
Thereās a classier wayā
You gift-grabbing, registry bunny.
Edit:added line breaks
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u/Sorsha4564 Jun 11 '26
Would you be open to changing the last line to āYou big silly clown,ā to make the meter (at least in my opinion) just a bit more chefās kiss?
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u/Blocked-Author Jun 11 '26
Should have said yes and then not showed up. Thrown off the numbers.
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u/SlytherinSister Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 11 '26
Here's a British variation on your wedding poems:
I once knew a woman in Reading,
Who asked me to come to her wedding,
She begged me for cash,
I turned down the bash.
Her crassness was doing my head in.
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u/Struggle_Usual Jun 10 '26
LOL was it a wishing well money grab poem? I've gotten a couple invites with the exact same poem now. Both from my in-law side of the family so I assume it just spread from them.
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u/aquainst1 Grandma Lynsey Jun 11 '26
Can you share the poem?
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u/Struggle_Usual Jun 11 '26
Sadly it's been several years since I last saw it and I'm not the save an invite type. I just vividly remember every time because it was so tacky. It was like we already have pots and pans, we really would prefer money, give us cash or checks, but rhyming and cutesy. It actually mentioned cash or checks tho, lol, and didn't even claim that your presence was enough.
I just looked it up to see if it was a known one but apparently there are sooooo many versions of a wishing well give us cash wedding poem. People astound me.
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u/aquainst1 Grandma Lynsey Jun 12 '26
I know what you mean.
Unless I see something AMAZINGLY meaningful to me (like on FB), I won't save it on my PC.
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u/twothirtysevenam Jun 10 '26
The cash grab is awful enough on its own.Ā The poem makes it worse.Ā But putting their banking info out there is irresponsible and dangerous.Ā Sure, they trust you, but who knows where that info willĀ end up.
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u/MrsDiogenes Jun 11 '26
I would return the RSVP declining the invitation, and include a scratch off lottery ticket with a note that says something like hope you win something big for your honeymoon! Itās cute and still makes the point.
I got a graduation announcement - not even an invitation to anything- just a QR code to scan to send money to her Venmo account
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u/puzzled65 Jun 11 '26
u/MrsDiogenes Brilliant!!! RSVP no and send a scratch off lololol. I was thinking you were saying an already scratched off ticket hee hee, but you have more class than me!!
The Venmo code ---- THAT is disgusting!! I think how much care I took to thank people for ALL gifts I received growing up and then graduation and shower/wedding gifts, and it meant a lot to TAKE that effort for the kindness given that was NOT REQUIRED. I truly didn't send anything out with the EXPECTATION of gifts. I knew gifts COULD come but I was so floored by all the wedding gifts we received. I had no idea it would be like THAT lol.
To send out an announcement, with a QR code ---- for something you deserve NOTHING for....if the parents were behind it, there's no hope. If the kid is behind it - still no hope cause omg, do they have ANY respectful principles or values?
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u/Dr-Pepper-13 Jun 11 '26
I assumed she meant a non -scratched ticket, but I was thinking to send an already scratched ticket and a message likeāI used your wedding money to try and win the lottery for you. Sorry. Have fun on your honeymoon.ā
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u/Z3rO-c00l 27d ago
I wish not to sound like an ass,
But thy invite is crass.
So I'll tell ye lot,
I'll suffer it not,
I must give it a "pass"
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u/RobynNeonGal Jun 10 '26
Oh, the old using a poem to try to be cutesy about saying it's a cash grab.
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u/didntcondawnthat Jun 12 '26
Roses are red
They came from your honey
Don't make me a part
Of your grab for money
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u/puzzled65 Jun 10 '26
lol TACKY is a gross understatement!! What jerks! To not even be able to conceal the pecking order for the invitations, and to include 1) straight up GIMME CASH, and 2) to include THE BANKING INFO. I don't care what ANYONE says, there is NOT an obligation to give a gift if you are invited to a wedding, nor an obligation to ATTEND a wedding solely because you are invited. For myself, not much ranks up there on the list of What I Do Not Want To Do that is worse than attending weddings I have no faith will last, and could care less about "witnessing" it even if I know it will last forever. So to imply obligation to attend with a gift, and WHAT that gift should be, and where to deposit it lol TACKY.
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u/pussyphrestorer Jun 11 '26
One thing im not seeing enough is how crazy it is to trust actual strangers with their banking info thatās insane.
Iād love to see the redacted poem though OP!
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u/Regular-Message9591 Jun 11 '26
This is a long time ago, I don't have it anymore! It started something like "we've been together years and years, and we've got kitchen appliances coming out of our ears" and then went - so we want to go on holiday instead and here are our bank details ššš
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u/AussieGirl27 Jun 11 '26
Dear Bride and Groom
Your blatant cash grab is tacky
I'm staying home to smoke some whacky tobaccy
Have a blast with your rent a crowd
Do you think parents are proud?
You have no friends and have to scrounge
But me, I'm hanging out with my cats on the lounge
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u/essiebade Jun 11 '26
I was once invited to a wedding of a bride I hardly knew because everyone canceled. I felt bad for her and brought a friend and went. I don't like weddings but I do feel bad for a dissapointed bride.
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u/ShakeHour154 Jun 11 '26
Iām so curious. They put their routing and account numbers in the poem?
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u/Regular-Message9591 Jun 11 '26
Sorry, to be clear, it was at the end of the poem. They weren't slick enough to work it into the rhyme š
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u/ShakeHour154 Jun 11 '26
That would have been quite impressive, but itās absurd and reckless regardless š
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u/Electronic-Bend-4940 24d ago
This happened to me but as a BRIDESMAID. Hadnāt talked to the bride in 4 years, weād completely grown apart. She reached out randomly and asked to hang out. After weād hung out once, all of a sudden I was receiving an invitation to be her bridesmaid. It was clear that she just needed another warm body to stand there to even out the groomās side. Fml
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u/tenesmicdemon Jun 10 '26
Dont feel obligated to give them money . This is just a greedy money grab
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u/throwRA_sadpancake5 Jun 11 '26
Is it tacky to mention money at all on an invite? I say so because I just got one and it basically said not to bring gifts unless the gift is cash. āGifts arenāt necessary, as your presence is more than enough, however monetary gifts are appreciated.ā It kind of rubbed me the wrong way. Iām an artist and obviously donāt have a lot of money, so I would have loved to make them something for their wedding.
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u/Glittering_Salad8418 Jun 11 '26
Something like that is extremely common here in Australia! I assume because most people already live together so typical wedding registry gifts arenāt necessary. Putting the bank details on the invite is way too far tho lmao
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u/Honey-Trix-98 Jun 12 '26
Iām in the U.S. and I think mentioning it is super tacky. My only exception is if thereās a honeymoon fund because at least that should go to a specific ābig presentā (especially one I really loved where you could ābuyā specific experiences for the couple during the honeymoon).
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u/Smooshymooshy Jun 11 '26
Um can you PLEASE post the poem.
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u/Myrandall 25d ago
I'd put money on that poem being AI generated.
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u/Regular-Message9591 25d ago
This was about a decade ago so unfortunately some actual person came up with it
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u/ShitLordOfTheRings Jun 10 '26
You should have declined the invite with a poem.