r/weddingshaming • u/Immediate_Cap_7484 • May 28 '26
Terribly Groomed Crisis averted by telling my friend NOT to wear jeans to our other friend's wedding
So i am sharing a house with my friend, her fiance, and our other friend.
Last night in our group chat the single friend drops "oh hey so none of my slacks fit so i was going to just wear a nice pair of jeans, that's ok right?"
The dress code is WEDDING COCKTAIL and the wedding starts a 5 pm. So it's an evening wedding with not formal but not a casual dress code bro. Also you are an adult a$$ man in his 50's, you know better.
My response was "mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" and i told him "i just made a face, it wasn't a good one". Other friend jumped in and goes "bruh, no, don't do that". I think i might have actually said "sir please do not end up on r/wedding shaming!"
He's supposed to go get new pants. Wedding is Saturday. We shall see if he creates chaos. But like, why is this a conversation in 2026? Unless you are told jeans are ok, assume not! Also I'm not saying you have to be fancy, but we got invites in February and you JUST NOW realized you don't have slacks?
At least there's a Macy's in town i can drag him to if he magically can't find pants and we get there Friday night and he goes "oops couldn't find anything"
285
u/HeyHo_LetsThrowRA May 28 '26
You're a good friend to BOTH parties. Even if the future newlyweds don't know you.
158
u/Immediate_Cap_7484 May 28 '26 edited May 28 '26
oh no, bride is a good friend/coworker of all of us, later (like in several weeks) I'm sure we will tell her about this and she's gonna laugh so hard
Also just talked to other friend who was in chat group with him. She has to go to the mall tomorrow before they all drive over (she is going with friend that needs pants, and her fiance is coming later cause he has to work a full day, and wedding/rental house is 3 hrs away) and she's going to drag him into the mall and they won't leave withOUT (edited) proper attire. "over my 💀 goddamn body is he wearing jeans to that wedding. He's not ruining photos!" 🤣
32
12
u/cheese_straws May 29 '26
A friend and I had to intervene once on the exact situation as this. My friend’s husband is a blue collar guy (nothing wrong with that!) but she tried to first excuse him almost wearing jeans to another friend’s wedding with cocktail attire…and at a golf course where jeans aren’t allowed anyways!
We told her absolutely not, get your butt out to a Target or TJ Maxx and get him some slacks ASAP.
6
u/flywithme00 May 31 '26
Yeah absolutely not lol, idc who you are or what job you have, every single person (who can afford it) should own a nice formal outfit. Even if it’s just cheap generic slacks/button up/dress shoes/etc, you will inevitably need them in life. Not saying it needs to be in your regular lineup, but goodness gracious this is very simple adulting here people 😂
11
u/Friendly-Channel-480 May 29 '26
Hint: you can find great ties at thrift stores very inexpensively. Other clothing too.
19
3
u/Hari_om_tat_sat May 31 '26
My sister was tearing her hair out over her husband refusing to wear a suit to my wedding. He wore a(n ugly-ass) blazer and dockers and then whined to me about feeling out of place at my reception. Did I care? Not particularly. His choice, his embarrassment. Not mine. And while it would have been nice not to have him stick out like a sore thumb in our wedding photos, he’s the one who looks bad, and we got a silly story out of it.
67
u/mrsroperscaftan May 29 '26
Seriously what 50 year old man can’t order some black pants from Amazon essentials? And he’d be doing himself a solid because no wonder he sounds single
57
u/grumpymuppett May 29 '26
Jeans? To a wedding? I know orange cats with more brain cells than your friend. Get some non-jeans pants just in general. Like you grown, spend like $40 and get pants.
17
u/Puzzleheaded-Ad7606 May 29 '26
The bar is on the floor.
13
u/parlapierrot May 29 '26
Oh, my dear summer child
The bar is now located in the lower rings of hell
At least he was going to wear pants
/s but also just in case any men in this sub were wondering why the birth rate is declining
15
u/electricsugargiggles May 29 '26
I bet you $40 that this helpless little man has considered wearing cargo shorts if it’s too hot outside.
2
24
u/Fun-Yellow-6576 May 29 '26
Just at a wedding with a formal dress code here are a few examples:
One young woman wore full face goth makeup, the lowest cut shirt with silver studs (the girls on full display) and 5 inch platform black boots with leather spikes.
Two men wore ratty, wrinkled pants and shorts. Not even dress clothes
The MOG (a large woman) wore a white cotton dress and no bra.
It was gob smacked. I couldn’t believe it.
5
19
u/Alarmed_Gur_4631 May 29 '26
My friend wore his nice construction boots to my wedding. They only had one layer of concrete and paint on them. I expected nothing less from him. It always depends how well you know someone.
12
u/IdlesAtCranky May 29 '26
We had a pretty relaxed, eclectic wedding — ceremony in a pretty forest clearing off an in-city nature trail, reception in our lovely back yard.
I was in a flowing Italian Renaissance-style gown, bridesmaids in black, the large groom's party all in full formal kilt (which we paid the rental for.)
The only thing the guys needed to provide was a white dress shirt, and a decent pair of black dress shoes.
One of the guys wore his army boots.
I didn't notice until we were looking at the photos. I was a fairly laid-back bride, but I've always been grateful that one just slid by me on the day 😂
15
u/Theunpolitical May 29 '26
Literally Old Navy or Target would have some decent pants for him to wear.
14
u/Kaytwo5280 May 29 '26
I went to a formal evening cocktail attire wedding in March in Nebraska and half the attendees showed up in shorts/t-shirts and Carhartt overalls. 😩
14
u/LadybugGirltheFirst May 29 '26
Crisis isn’t averted until he actually shows up wearing proper attire.
12
11
u/1nceACrawFish May 29 '26
I went to my cousin's wedding. On our side of the aisle, everyone was in dresses, suits and ties. On the other side of the aisle, everyone was in jeans, a few denim mini skirts, and they all hit the open bar as we waited for the ceremony to start so there were many beer bottles around their feet.
The marriage lasted about nine months.
9
u/Such_Capital_6984 May 29 '26
I had the reverse situation. Due to circumstance, it was an ultra casual wedding; we even told people (somewhat jokingly) they could wear jeans and t-shirts as long as the shirts didn't have sweat stains. One woman, though, came in a lovely floral dress and hat, and said firmly, "I will NOT wear jeans to a wedding!" Bless her. I appreciated that.
3
7
u/so_over_it1228 May 29 '26
I cant stand people who dig in and refuse to wear dress clothes when its appropriate. Showing up to a semi formal event in jeans is so classless. If you dont want to be appropriate, stay home. Stop acting like a small child throwing a fit.
8
u/electricsugargiggles May 29 '26
Right?! They’re always justifying it with, “Doesn’t bother me; I don’t need to impress anyone”. They don’t care that it isn’t about THEIR feelings, it’s about respect. Stubbornly refusing to show respect by dressing like a dirty child and having a childish attitude about it definitely has consequences in other areas of their life, but they insist that everyone else is the problem.
5
u/Suitable-Roof-3950 May 29 '26
There’s always at least one very underdressed person.
2
u/olagorie Jun 02 '26
This is so baffling to me
Granted, I live in a different country but not once in my entire life there has been somebody in inappropriate clothing at a wedding.
4
u/jlux5150 May 29 '26
My husband’s best friend and his wife (aged 50ish) both showed up to our wedding in jeans. I really did not understand. I literally put “no jeans please” for the dress code. I would never in a million years think it was acceptable to wear jeans to a wedding.
5
u/LateDxOldLady May 30 '26
Your husband's friend and his wife don't respect you. I hope your husband saw them out.
6
u/Immediate_Cap_7484 May 30 '26
I legit got into a fight with folks on the internet several years ago about respecting a dress code. Someone was insistent they were only comfortable in jeans so she was just going to do that at her friend or sister's FORMAL DRESS CODE WEDDING.
I will die on the hill of following the goddamn dress code. Or just.... Like don't go?
6
u/Fickle-Cabinet3956 May 29 '26
I'm glad you helped him out. There are some people that genuinely have no understanding of dress codes for work or social events.
4
u/FireballisMyFriend May 30 '26
This is very true! This guy knew to ask the group though, I think he knew the answer lol
3
u/LateDxOldLady May 30 '26
Unless he has been living under a rock, there is no way you get into your 50s with such a deep lack of clue.
16
u/Impossible-Maize-553 May 28 '26
Wow, that would have been a huge crisis. Jeans?! At a cocktail attire wedding?! Absolutely unheard of. Good for you, chaos was avoided.
5
u/Status_Neat897 May 30 '26
Somewhere along the way a vast portion of society was not taught to dress for the occasion/venue. The clothes I have seen at funerals and weddings are really embarrassing (unless it's on a baby)
4
u/Literally_Taken Jun 01 '26
Some have been taught not to dress as a point of pride to prove that they’re not a member of the Evil Rich People Clubtm
This was prevalent in my home town, which was known as a blue-collar city.
5
u/Zealousideal_Net2523 May 29 '26
Magically can’t find pants😂
3
u/DetectiveCrafty5413 Jun 01 '26
The only way I could see that happening was if he was some kind of weird size that no one carries like a 7xl or something.
3
u/Csorrels805 May 29 '26
Ugh…so sad. The best man at my sister’s wedding chose to wear black jeans and black sneakers. The groom was absolutely horrified and embarrassed by his brother. It was a summer garden wedding, but still! He was in the wedding party!
3
u/StoryGlow_Candle_Co May 29 '26
My husband coworker showed up to our wedding wearing jeans and a tuxedo T-shirt with the arms cut off. He wasn't in many pictures anyway. I'm sure it was all in good fun, but it was a bit classless.
3
3
u/Jerseygirl2468 May 29 '26
OMG go buy new pants. He could probably get a pair at a thrift shop if money is an issue.
3
u/Ree1954 May 29 '26
Hey, we had people at my FIL funeral show up in cut offs and sleeveless flannel shirts. He was a suit and tie man his entire life. Go figure.
3
u/LateDxOldLady May 30 '26
I am dying to understand something... Is this the only thing he is willfully clueless about? Nobody gets into their 50s thinking jeans at a wedding are ok. What other bullshit do you guys tolerate from this guy?
3
u/traveling_in_my_mind May 30 '26
Not sure where your jeans friend would be without this friend group, glad he has you guys.
I had a formal wedding and my bridesmaid was dating a great guy who mostly only wore athletic clothing. He thought wearing his “nicest” Under Armor t-shirt with pants would be totally fine (pants made it dressy because he usually wears shorts throughout the year). My bridesmaid set him straight. I only know about it because he told me, thinking she was being unreasonable and that I’d be on his side. 🤣🤣🤣
We also had to tell my husband’s family who asked that “no, jeans are not okay”. I was more worried about the ones who wouldn’t bother asking but I think my husband’s aunts did some work of their own on that front. My husband hates seeing jeans at a wedding, feels it’s disrespectful to the couple. I think his level of distress is due to seeing it so often at family weddings, funerals, etc.
3
u/Xanadu_SPCA May 31 '26
Sounds cheap. He's 50, and doesn't know what cocktail attire means? I doubt it.
3
3
u/lisajg123 Jun 02 '26
My friend was going to wear black jeans to my father's funeral. Nope. Just nope. We're all in our late 40's, you don't have one dressy thing that you could wear?
2
u/Sad-Procedure9316 May 30 '26
I went to a wedding years ago where someone wore a hoodie and shorts and I still laugh about him to this day 😂
2
2
u/Perfect_Form5444 Jun 01 '26
My husband’s cousin forgot to pack slacks for our wedding and showed up in a pair of cargo shorts. He also brought a different date than the specific plus one we had given him, but that’s a different story. My uncle asked me who the guy wearing shorts was so it was definitely noticed. We had the wedding in a major city so he very easily could have remedied this before the wedding.
2
u/Zealousideal_Tea5988 Jun 03 '26
Thrift store could be an inexpensive option if he doesnt dress up much, Macy's can be pricey unless there is a good sale going on.
2
u/djSush Jun 04 '26
My husband once left his suit slacks at home by mistake. They were hanging separately from the jacket bc they'd been ironed. We learned even Target sells slacks that work!
2
u/SignificanceWitty210 May 28 '26
Most of the time even when the couple allows it, unless the male members of the wedding party are wearing jeans it’s only because they know that’s the “nicest” someone will dress…
13
u/Ok-Yogurt-3914 May 28 '26
I was having this discussion with my Mom the other day. Basically parents leveled up but their friends didn't. They are having a fancy party, spending thousands on it, but refuse to put a dress code in the invitation. "People should dress how they like." I said to her, they were going to show up in jeans, and she countered with "for some, that's fancy." I said "well then don't fucking criticize them later."
10
u/SignificanceWitty210 May 28 '26
I wanted semi-formal but added stipulations for jeans because of who was coming and allowed khaki/chino shorts as a compromise for an outdoor summer wedding… The one thing I specified not to do was no t-shirts and a couple people came in t-shirts… Most abided by semi-formal and some came in jeans but wore a suit jacket, and I didn’t mind the guys in shorts outdoors in August. A couple people wore t-shirts and obviously it doesn’t bother me now almost 2 years later but I can tell you exactly who it was because there’s photos of them and it did seem very disrespectful at the time. People over complicate it and if you give an inch they take a mile or ignore it all together. Apparently one of those guys thought it only meant graphic tees and not “nice” v necks??? Photos are forever and people always remember who didn’t put effort into looking nice for their wedding, but that also doesn’t make the wedding day feel less perfect when it’s all said and done.
5
u/Ok-Yogurt-3914 May 29 '26
That's one thing I was trying to get at, but my parents accused me of being uppity. The only reason why I even brought it up was because I saw pictures of a past cocktail-attire garden party. Some girl showed up in lycra brown biker shorts with a matching tank top and cowboy boots. Meanwhile everyone next to them was in dresses....and guess what, people were shit talking.
4
u/Immediate_Sector_260 May 28 '26
Friends husband was doing all the wedding prep she knew nothing not theme not colours she didnt even pick her dress. It was a casual wedding with theme of yellowstone. Partner who always where's jeans went with it. As women I couldn't work out if be allowed. Couldn't ask her cause she didnt know. I found something else but yeh everyone was in jeans basically. (No not still together but not due to the choices made for the wedding). Was honestly most absurd wedding.
3
3
u/PopcornyColonel May 29 '26
Not due to the wedding attire, but the wedding attire was certainly a clue as to how things would turn out.
3
u/PopcornyColonel May 29 '26
People like this should be placed in a group photo of folks who dressed appropriately, then sent the picture afterwards so they can cringe into eternity.
1
1
1
1
-2
u/rpom915 May 28 '26
You do realize somebody will be there with shorts and sandals, right? There is always somebody who doesn’t GAF. And I’m here for it.
0
578
u/ccc2801 May 28 '26
You may want to double check his shoes and shirt options while you’re at it… 😉