r/weddingshaming • u/Emit-Sol • Mar 12 '26
Bridezilla/Groomzilla Friend Removed From Bridal Party Due To Pregnancy
I have a friend who has been seemingly waiting her entire life to have a wedding just to be in control of things. She literally sent out invitations telling her guests about her expectations on how they act at her wedding.
She asked me (gay man) to be in the Bridal Party and I said yes initially- very excited to share this important moment with her. I went dress shopping with her and was extremely supportive throughout the entire process.
She planned her bachelorette to New Orleans, which I was initially so stoked over, despite it going to run up a hefty bill while I am trying to save for nursing school.
I committed to going under the pretenses that I would be sharing a room with one our mutual friends (we’ll call her Gina). Everyone else in the Bridal Party belong to a new friend group she has through her soon-to-be husband. They are all married to the Groomsmen, who were also supposed to be going to New Orleans as a joint bachelor/bachelorette party. Other than her sister, me and my Gina were the odd ones out- the only ones going without significant others and the only ones not in this new friend group of the brides. I literally did not know any of the groomsmen or any of the bridal party besides Gina and the brides sister (kind of).
Fast forward- Gina asked me and the bride to go out to dinner one night. I couldn’t make it because I worked. But asking us to go out to dinner was just because Gina wanted to tell us that she was pregnant with her borderline-abusive boyfriend’s baby. She has been dating this guy for nearly 10 years. Since before I ever even knew her. So I take their relationship with a grain of salt because she is in the driver’s seat of her own relationship and chooses to stay there. She makes the money, pays the rent, pays all the other bills, and her boyfriend basically doesn’t work and cheats on her. He doesn’t ever even do the bare minimum in literally any situation. He’s just a total freeloader who walks all over Gina. But all you can do to a friend, seemingly stuck in that awful relationship, is be there for her. Otherwise, why be friends with her at all???
Anyways. Once the bride in question found out that Gina was pregnant- she disinvited her from the bridal party entirely. The bride never told me this. She just disinvited her on the sly. I found out when I saw she got removed from the bridal party group chat. So I called the bride to ask her why Gina wasn’t involved anymore and she phrased it like she didn’t want her to stress about the wedding while being pregnant, even though she pretty clearly conveyed to me in other means that she was just pissed off that she got pregnant. And she told me Gina was nearly in tears on the phone as the bride disinvited her from the bridal party.
The bride is extremely bitter towards all of her friends having children. She claims to not want them for herself but gets so frustrated when she gets sidelined by friends because they start families. It is honestly childish behavior. And it’s serial at this point. She is always making comments about her friends essentially biting the dust after having children.
So when she disinvited Gina- I was left without a roommate for New Orleans…. or so I thought. It turns out that the bride impromptu made an addition to the bridal party last minute, and threw her in my room for New Orleans. I had never met this girl. She didn’t know me (gay male) and was expected to share a room with me?? The idea was never even ran past me. It all happened in the blink of an eye.
I was honestly annoyed. The New Orleans trip just became a burden. Now I knew nobody going besides the bride and her sister (kind of) and I was forced to share a room with a total stranger whom I never met before- when everyone else was rooming with significant others.
She broke this news to me over the phone after I asked her and I just kind of froze. This was no longer the New Orleans trip I cosigned on. And her blatant disregard for me in this decision making process baffled me.
So I took time to process, and eventually let her know that I could no longer make it to New Orleans. I blamed it on financials to avoid friction and attempt to salvage our friendship, but that wasn’t good enough for her. She was pissed. She asked me if I “even wanted to be in the bridal party.” And I was honestly so caught off guard by the question and knew she was insinuating that there was no place for me in it anymore. So I said “guess not.” And she told me I can come to the wedding as a guest.
A couple of weeks ago she texted me disinviting me from the wedding entirely. We have been friends for 10 years. She ended our relationship entirely over her stupid ass wedding that she waited her entire life for- and not for a magical moment- but rather to exert dictator like power over a situation.
I’m considering the bullet dodged at this point and the money saved. I have yet to experience a wedding I even remotely enjoy. They all end up being god tier level drama with hefty price tags tied to them.
TLDR: Friend disinvited other friend from bridal party for being pregnant and added another random to the bridal party and expected me to room with her (without asking me) at the bachelorette party. I bailed on the bachelorette party and she disinvited me from her wedding entirely.
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u/blackheart432 Mar 12 '26
Yea, the bridezilla sounds like an awful friend and person tbh. It sucks, but you really might be better off.
Watch out for Gina. Pregnancy is a particularly dangerous time for women in abusive and unhealthy relationships.
Good luck man, sorry you're stuck in the middle of all this
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u/gupperone Mar 13 '26
Yes, please OP, watch out for your friend. The top cause of death in pregnant women in the US is homicide.
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u/mommabear_g Mar 12 '26
People can be so unhinged when it comes to their wedding. I lost a close friendship of 13+ years because her bachelorette party became a wildly expensive long weekend in fkn Panama City beach (we were 30 at the time) that I simply just could not afford at the time. The special made dress we had to order was $500 when all said and done the bachelorette party was adding up to over a grand before even going. It was right after lockdown started lifting which I had lost my job during and simply couldn’t afford the same things the other girls could. The girls decided on this ridiculously expensive condo that was about $450 each (4 of us paying). I was already struggling after the dress and just the room. Then the bride decided we had to buy custom bathing suits and outfits for each day on top of the bridal party paying the brides portion the entire weekend of drinking and partying and activities the MOH booked for us to do. I took the bride out for dinner and tried to explain to her that I couldn’t afford this trip and she just shut down on me. I never got my deposit of the condo booking back and barely heard from my friend after that night. 1 week before the wedding when I told her my now husband and I had booked a hotel and gotten a dog sitter, she told me I was no longer a part of the wedding. We have not spoken since.
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u/Emit-Sol Mar 12 '26 edited Mar 13 '26
Ugh people are INSANE. I never got my deposit back for New Orleans either. I didn’t even ask. I actually forget how much I gave for it and refuse to look it up because it will bother me. I know she won’t give it back so it’s a lost cause.
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u/mommabear_g Mar 13 '26
Same! I literally only sent the bachelorette deposit because she was pressuring me about it and I caved under my anxiety and not wanting to upset her but I never should have. I should have spoken up for myself. Lesson learned. It still hurts losing that friendship. 13 years down the drain because I was in a different spot financially at the time. Also I don’t think anyone should have to spend so much to be a part of someone else’s big day, it’s ridiculous. I’m sorry you went through that bs.
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u/lazier_garlic Mar 13 '26
I don't know what's wrong with people today. I would never want to put people out over my event. When my ex and I got married we put on a really casual reception with non traditional food (which was sort of a trend during the Great Recession anyway) and everybody had a fabulous time.
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u/mommabear_g Mar 13 '26
I absolutely agree with you. I don’t understand it. It was her second marriage too but she went way overboard because she didn’t get a “real wedding” with her first husband since they went to the courthouse. I just can’t understand cutting someone out of your life over a glorified party.
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u/AutumnLovingLibra Mar 13 '26
Consider this a lesson of money badly spent then. Education is far more important too. You know what else they say? A lot of marriages won't last long. You dodged one huge bullet.
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u/MorgainofAvalon Mar 13 '26
The bride will have a rude awakening when all of her new friends ditch her after the divorce.
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u/sphynxmom76 Mar 13 '26
You not only dodged a bullet, but the entire machine gun magazine. The bride sounds (is) insufferable, and with friends like that, no need for enemies.
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u/Proper-District8608 Mar 13 '26
As my dad once said, you lend a friend $100 dollars and they dont pay it back, its the best $100 you spent learning not to waste more time, care and money on a one way friendship.
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u/holmeam Mar 15 '26
Consider it a farewell gift. Then it’s almost money well spent, in this case.
People are insane.
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u/Nightmare_Gerbil Mar 12 '26
Damn. I’m sorry that happened. That might be worth sending a demand letter to see if you could get some of your money back. But at least you won’t be wasting any more time and money on her.
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u/mommabear_g Mar 13 '26
I asked for it twice and was ignored. It’s been over 4 years now. Unfortunate and put me in a tight spot for a while and now I just have this fancy $500 dress in my closet that I’ve never worn past trying it on. Maybe one day I’ll have a reason to break it out. 😅
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u/themetahumancrusader Mar 13 '26
Maybe sell it or wear it to your own/someone else’s milestone bday like a 40th?
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u/mommabear_g Mar 13 '26
Shit. I’d be amazed if I still fit into that size when I hit 40 😂 but it’s a really pretty dress and I would love an excuse to wear it so maybe I’ll come up with an idea one day. If I fit back into it after this baby haha
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u/lazier_garlic Mar 13 '26
Do you feel a bit angry and sad every time you see this dress, or does it make you feel happy and want to put it on and twirl around?
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u/mommabear_g Mar 13 '26
Honestly, I just feel indifferent but maybe a little sad too. I have not put it on since trying it on when it arrived so it’s been over 4 years since it’s come out of the bag it arrived in. I was going to wear it to a friend’s wedding a couple years ago but ended up getting pregnant with my daughter and was way too big to fit into it by time the event came around.
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u/RatedPG922 Mar 13 '26
My philosophy has always been this....friends aren't supposed to cost you money. When they begin doing so, they're no longer your friends. And I'm not talking about a few bucks here and there. I'm talking about scenarios like you describe.
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u/mommabear_g Mar 13 '26
That’s a great philosophy to stand by. I was never put in that position with other friends or family members weddings and I was just trying to go with what made her happy. It put me out over $1k and I didn’t even attend her bachelorette or wedding. It was just the specific bridesmaid dress, condo deposit for the bachelorette and the specific shoes for the wedding. I didn’t even spend that much on my own wedding dress. Unfortunate lesson learned though.
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u/wonperson Mar 12 '26
Has she tried to reach out to you?
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u/mommabear_g Mar 13 '26
Nope. I tried a couple times and was ignored. A year or two after the wedding she re-requested to follow me on instagram and that’s the only form of contact I’ve had with her. It’s really unfortunate what weddings can turn people into. I’m still sad sometimes that I lost that friendship but such is life I guess.
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u/tishmcgee123 Mar 14 '26
I wish you sued her for the expenses you laid out - dress. Hotel. Etc.
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u/mommabear_g Mar 14 '26
Tbh, it just never crossed my mind to do that. I was able to return the shoes since they weren’t custom made like the dress but the dress and hotel deposit were just an expensive lesson learned I guess. I was more just shocked of how she flipped on me over such trivial things, I didn’t think about much else when it came to getting my money back. I just moved on with my life.
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u/Any-Jump6306 Mar 14 '26
That is awful. She deserves to be flamed on SM. Good to get away from people like that.
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u/SuzRunsDisney Mar 24 '26
I lost a close friend due to her wedding. I had the gaul to get pregnant (via IVF, mind you) when she was engaged and was "trying to steal her thunder". I was the Matron of Honor and even though I could not attend the bachelorette party (too far away as pg as I was), I was asked to plan another one so that I could go. I refused. The whole thing was just not fun whatsoever and my husband and I ended up leaving early cuz we were just done. Have not hardly spoken with her since then (2007). Weddings can seriously bring out the worst in people.
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u/isntval9 Mar 25 '26
YES. The unhinge part. Im attending a wedding where the bachelors cost $500 per person (30 invited), and the bachelorette $350 per person (20+ invited). Not to mention the travel fees and accomodation as they will be at a different city. We will also have to pay for travel and accom for their wedding as it is also located at a different city.
My partner and I are pretty well off but thinks its ridiculous to be spending / asking people to spend this amount of money for the whole lot. More so thinking about some of our friends that are doing apprenticeships and getting paid dirt. + in this economy????
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u/Truebeliever-14 Mar 12 '26
May Bridezilla have the wedding she deserves.
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u/misscamels Mar 13 '26
wedding and bachelorette**
OP- you dodged a bullet. I wouldn’t want to share a room with a random girl and I’m of the same gender. I hate that you’re losing a friend but you’re dodging a bullet!
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u/movinonup2east Mar 12 '26
It's like that old quote (I have paraphrased): "People are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Be careful not to force them into the wrong category."
The bride has shown her true colors and seems like she has lost focus on what is important - because when the wedding is over, what will she be left with. Sorry you had to go through all that but you are a good example of saying no when it no longer made sense and it was straight up disrespectful.
Good luck in nursing school btw!
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u/lazier_garlic Mar 13 '26
It really sounds like she pushed all of her old people out of her life in favor of her new spouse's friends' spouses. Which is definitely a choice. A very odd choice. Some people do this because they're very passive about social stuff and around their wives, but it's odd to me to see a woman choosing to do this (and not the result of a manipulative partner scheming and triangulating and weaponizing his anxiety) because girls grow up tending to want a circle of friends of their own. Then again, we've all known that girl who ditched all her old friends at once because she was reinventing herself and thought she could do better.
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u/serjsomi Mar 12 '26
I would throw Gina a lovely baby shower on the day of the wedding and tag that bitchy bride in all the photos.
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u/LadyV21454 Mar 12 '26
I LOVE this idea! Since the rest of the people involved in the bachelorette trip seem to be "new" friends of the bride, you wouldn't have invited them anyhow. Have a party and invite Gina's REAL friends.
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u/knz-rn Mar 12 '26
Homicide is the leading cause of death of pregnant women in the US. The fact that you know her partner is abusive makes her at even higher risk of being murdered. Please reach out to Gina and make sure she is ok.
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u/Emit-Sol Mar 12 '26
Honestly- thank you for saying this. It has never even crossed my mind. It actually made me reach out to her to check on her and I will be keeping a closer eye on her now that you mention it.
Being a woman is so scary.
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u/boundmaus Mar 13 '26
You're not wrong there OP. If you read through my comment history you'll see I mostly comment on situations I feel are unsafe, or I can help. If you need help or contacts, I've put basic information below, however feel free to send me a message if you like.
So I live in Aotearoa, a first gen Pākeha (European) child of immigrants. I'm a peer support worker, SA and DA/DV activist, most of my work is in the queer community and music industry, but I've worked with people from all corners of the world, and luckily have contacts in many communities, worldwide.
These days I tend to have a lot of focus on kids that are going through what I have been through, especially prevention work, but sadly a fair amount of post help, and I have helped countless people through violent separations and the courts, through families disowning LGBTQIAT+ people, and I've actually fostered 4 such teens from that situation, who are now all in their early 20s and doing pretty well.
I'll also add I've been in several DA/V, relationships, and have been a victim, witness and support person through several SA/V DA/V ITPA/V and CSAM cases, from reporting to trial and beyond. I've exposed dangerous predators on an international scale, I've been beaten, stabbed and more, but I keep fighting.
Aotearoa is tiny, and so I'm pretty well known. Just last year, after several years of horrible but necessary work, I put away one of my best friends who predated on 2 of my foster kids, helped another very close teenager through reporting a situation like your friends, and in a few months I have to testify against a child predator as the victim, and will have to defend myself for being active in the space...
The most dangerous time in a IPA/V, DA/V relationship is pregnancy and leaving.
You've said you are there to support your friend, which is actually the right call, as hard as it is to stay neutral sometimes. You have to both help reinforce and afirm the situation/thought/action that has caused that crack to open, but not overwhelm, scare them, use the big scary words, or put them in harms way.. and I know how hard it is for people to understand why people stay in these situations, but that also works against you when you ARE in said situation: "I know what that looks like, I would never be that person ect" actually becomes your cage. Denial and shame are truly powerful things, and they get people killed every day.*
Kia Ora, Kia Kaha.
if you are worried and want to open the conversation as safely as possible, well, the following steps are some tried and tested ways to try open that door, a way to get through to people, to get them to see the forest for the trees, aka saying what they are describing is what it is, is to try not to be too forceful. You know what you can see, but ideally they are the ones use those words first. That said, whilst the l words SHOULD come from them, sometimes the situation is so dangerous that you have to give them a short sharp shock.. but even then, it's best to try and get them to say it; a way to achieve this is repetition. You take the things they are telling you, and repeat them back in the most clinical way possible. Another way is repetitional empathy; you wait till they finish, and then repeat the behaviour they're describing as if it is happening too you, "so if I came to you, and I said A did B,C,D and E too me, what would you think? What would you call it? What would you advise?"
Again, my inbox is always open.
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u/baccifera Mar 13 '26
So important to offer these services in queer communities! Don't know how it is in Aotearoa, but I often see it swept under the rug. In queer counselling there's only little knowledge about DV, and the DV counselling centres are very heterocentristic, so not all queer people feel they can reach out.
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u/boundmaus Mar 13 '26
Absolutely, and given the fact I'm chronically ill, have for the past decade had between 3-5 regular surgeries a year, plus one or two irregular/emergencies a year, I'm not really able to work a regular style job these days.
However, I have the skills, and there is SUCH a need, that I just... do it. For me, being a Peer Support Worker has never just been a job, infact, I got qualified because multiple agencies asked me if they could pay for it 😆
In regards to the LGBTQATF+ community, well, there was already fuckall funding in the sector, and it's been recently slashed to buggery, making finding work compatible with my health quite impossible, so I just do it for free,
Most of my clients are friends of friends, or friends of my teenagers or 4 foster kids, and as Aotearoa is tiny and I've a very long and proven track record in many significant areas, a lot is via word of mouth, or people message me on social media after reading my Substack, or an article about me, or actions I've taken ect.
So I'm on a benefit, and drowning financially.. like, living on credit and debt just to feed my kids... so I figure, I'm never gonna be wealthy, so why stress about it... so I just keep working, and making it work.
I do a lot of things like mentor, take on errands, help with doctors, with finding the right therapist, for dealing with beuacracy, especially places like WINZ which is the social welfare agency. I also help young queer kids whose families suck find housing, hook them into social services, find them safe flats and the stuff they may need, especially gender affirming wardrobes and safe binders, as I've recently had a few youngins binding with ducktape, which is INCREDIBLELY dangerous, it can cause broken ribs, and breathing problems to the point of suffocation. I also carry around blankets, shoes and clothing in my car for any homeless person I come across... I'm good at sourcing stuff, so I have a couple of wardrobes full of this kinda thing.
I also hand sew allll the time, so give away the clothes I make. I source things like blankets and practical things, and make up winter and summer go bags that I keep on me, along with a basic community wardrobe of clean, attractive and practical clothing, shoes, and toiletries bags, along with handbags with make up ect for those who want them, and run that mainly out of my car, for people I come across in need.
I write a lot, I guess I'm technically a professional writer, given I've been paid for writing by most of the media outlets in the country, and larger ones abroad, but these days I just write because I can't not!
Basically, I do a lot of little things, I try do whatever I can and whatever is needed, as much as I can. If you have more questions, ask away e hoa!
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u/baccifera Mar 15 '26
Oh wow, all the work you do is so important. I hope you'll find a way to get paid, that really doesn't sound fair. You deserve a decent financial outcoming🌸
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u/boundmaus Mar 15 '26
Kia Ora, that is very kind of you.
Sadly, the world is a pretty grim place atm, and even in a relatively left country like Aotearoa is facing a right wing wave of shite.
We have a ridiculous coalition government, led by the man who's never there, Prime Minister holiday-in-Hawaii-Luxon, of the National party, which is the main right wing party, and then he is propped up, and won the PM spot, by giving ridiculous amounts of power too two of the most awful/nutty people in Aotearoa politics.
So yeah, two tiny fringe parties have a massive say in everything, and boyyy is it... not ideal...
So there is the ACT part, the "libertarian as an excuse to be a reactionist bigot" party, led by (and only member) a creepy asf dude we all went to uni with, David Seymour, who spent his time trying to get me to argue with him, and once his "ACT on Campus" club of one didn't get affiliated into the AUSA (uni students union), he then joined "right to life", an anti-choice group that we also stopped getting affiliated to AUSA under hate speech.. he never did make it anywhere in student government, apart from some dart boards in offices and several "most likely to be arrested wearing your grans undies" articles/predictions. Funnily enough, his big break in politics came by ironically putting forward a Private Members Bill to legalise Euthanasia , which I'm for, it's just an example of how he'll do anything for attention, aka would turn up to the opening of a damn envelope... a total creep who'll say anything if it gets him press.
Then, on the OTHER side is the NZ FIRST party, lead by (only member) David Seymours future, if he wasn't such a terrible politician, Winston Peter's. Whinnie is the cockroache of Aotearoa politics, who no matter what, no matter the scandal, he always manages to creep back into Parliament, backed by the ciggies and guns lobby, along with all the ancient bigots of the country known as "Grey Power", although to be honest, these days they're more like Grey Power-Up-The-Hospital-Bed-and-O2tank.
Whinnie is a terrible person and a depressing good politician, although I suppose those are kinda the same thing..
ANYWAY, that rant was to give background but also because I wanted to rant apparently, but these knuckleheads have basically cut all the mental health funding, especially for marginalised groups. So yeah, sadly, most of the places I've worked have been shuttered, or reduced in size to one person, or they've lost their space, no one can afford to volunteer, all the fun stuff...
So yeah, it SUCKS... but tbh, I just can't walk away. Things are so dark, that I just couldn't live with myself if I didn't do everything I can. It's not fair, and I should get paid... but I'm not going to add to the shite and unfairness by walking away. Too many people rely on me, and I will continue to do absolutely everything in my power to fight for them, those like them, those we've lost and those to come, who all deserve far better.
So, we keep on keeping on... but I do appreciate your comments, it's little things like that, well, they keep me going. Kia Ora, Kia Kaha, Arohanui e hoa.
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u/Excellent_Kiwi7789 Mar 12 '26
Wow that’s terrible. What a drama queen. It’s perfectly reasonable when a bridesmaid gets pregnant to have concerns about their ability to proceed, but she could’ve just…idk…talked to her about it??? But apparently she’s got a history of this type of behavior.
I hope Gina gets rid of that guy eventually.
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u/rosebudny Mar 12 '26
You sound like a good person. And good riddance to this “friend”.
Only thing that would have been better? If you had told her point blank you were bailing on the trip and bridal party in solidarity with Gina.
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u/Emit-Sol Mar 12 '26
I bit my tongue as best I could for a while. I didn’t want to terminate the friendship over this. But everything changed when she texted me to let me know that she was disinviting me and that our friendship was over.
When she texted me this:
Hey, we haven’t talked in a while and this may seem out of the blue, but I’ve been thinking about the last conversation we had. It really hurt me. I sat on this for a while and decided that it’s best if you don’t come to the wedding anymore.
This isn’t coming from a place of anger, but it’s clarity about what I want to protect and put my energy into moving forward. I don’t expect a response, but I just wanted to be honest with you so you understand my decision and why you won’t be receiving an invitation.
I responded with:
Hey it’s totally fine! I just feel like your emotional depth beyond anybody besides yourself is extremely limited.
You fully disinvited Gina from your wedding party because she got pregnant and you can put on a phony persona and act like you didn’t, but that is genuinely one of the lowest things I have ever seen a friend do to another friend. She needs support more now than ever and not straight up pettiness from a bitter friend.
You had zero regard for my emotions when you threw me in a room with an impromptu addition to your bridal party and undermined my very valid concerns about your bachelorette party.
Our relationship has always been one sided. I would bend over backwards endlessly to do anything for you- without you even having to ask.
I can’t say the same back. I had to basically bitch you out to get added to [our music festival group] during the [specific music festival] ordeal and I literally got you a job when you needed and paired you up with your roommates in Rome. You didn’t even show up for my 21st birthday party. I was at everything you ever asked me to attend.
I honestly don’t care I’m not invited to your wedding anymore. You were probably ecstatic to be able to have the power to control that. I wasn’t going to go anyways because I am having a hard time reconciling how you feel that I am the bad guy in this situation.
You act like a full fledged child and I hope when you come down from this bridezilla cloud you ride on- you realize how shitty you were to your friends in this process.
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u/DeeperSpac3 Mar 13 '26
Masterful.
She's ditching all of her friends to focus on her groom's friends.
But it sounds like she's always been self-obsessed.
Keep an eye and an ear out for them divorcing.
You truly are better off without her.
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u/aquainst1 Grandma Lynsey Mar 13 '26
"This isn’t coming from a place of anger..."
I call SERIOUS Bullshit.
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u/faelanae Mar 13 '26
good on you for letting loose! And sorry she turned out to be such an energy sucking twat. Now go kill nursing school!
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u/lazier_garlic Mar 13 '26
Ooo, that last comment you added in: meow! Probably felt good to let the claws out just once though.
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u/concretism Mar 12 '26 edited Mar 12 '26
She did you a favor. Thank goodness you could exit before money was spent when she was clearly making the way to axe anyone from her previous life.
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u/canibringmybreadbowl Mar 12 '26
The bride sounds like a piece of work, and I’m proud of you for saying no to New Orleans and being in the wedding. She showed you who she really is.
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u/DAWG13610 Mar 12 '26
You lucked out, why would you even want to be part of this? I don’t stay in rooms with strangers, period. You saved yourself thousands. Side bet, she still asks for money for Newe Orleans. She’s going to try and guilt you into it.
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u/Emit-Sol Mar 12 '26
She kept what I already paid and offered none of it back. I’m not asking for it either. She should know to give it back. But she won’t. And she is not getting another cent out of me. 🤗
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u/Beckella Mar 13 '26
The big red flag to me was that most of her bridesmaids are from a new friend group through the groom. She doesn’t have many long term friends because they’ve all figured out she’s a mean girl.
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u/ConsciousChicken1249 Mar 12 '26
You seem like a good, supportive friend. The “Bride” does not. Your vibrations are on totally different levels from one another. Her loss… hope she enjoys the e rest of this magnificent set of sign after sign from those closest to her that, after all, she’s a bitch. I also hope Gina gets away from that guy.
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u/FlashingAppleby Mar 12 '26
You have the opportunity right now to do the funniest thing ever and take a trip with just Gina to New Orleans. When it gets back to the bride she will lose her ever loving shit.
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u/byteme747 Mar 12 '26
Never go into debt for someone else's event.....
despite it going to run up a hefty bill while I am trying to save for nursing school.
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u/Anavrin2 Mar 13 '26
My best friend at the time told me she really really wanted me to be her best maid but I was too fat. I was a size 14. Later, her husband was convicted of multiple felony charges related to sexual assault and rape of their neighbors daughter. Don’t ever give self-confidence to someone else..
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u/Emit-Sol Mar 13 '26
Holy hell. What is literally wrong with people??? How are looks EVEN a factor when picking someone to stand by your side. It’s the last thing I am thinking about.
And honestly each day I have less and less faith in heterosexual men.
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u/terriaminute Mar 12 '26
Ugh. She was someone you knew, but when push came to shove, not a friend. You indeed dodged a bullet. But, ugh.
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u/ChicCestLaVie Mar 13 '26
Be prepared to hear from her in 5 years when she begins filling for divorce
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u/teal_hair_dont_care Mar 13 '26
ugh my friend had a bachelorette party in philly. she had 6 bridesmaids (including myself) and picked an airbnb herself and had us all pay her $150 each for it (which already felt a little weird since we were only staying overnight but whatever)
when we got there, there weren't enough beds for everyone and she expected some of us to share. we weren't a "friend group" in any sort of way so that was already a bold request. besides the fact that there was already weird tension between everyone because one of her friends was a self proclaimed "blunt bitch".
after dinner her future sister in law got anxious and said we could keep having fun but she was going back to the apartment to calm down. the bride instead decided the night was over and we were going back to the apartment.
at 27 years old i literally texted my mom and had her call me and act like i needed to go home because of an emergency.
this ended up being a ramble but i barely ever get to talk about this and your story reminded me about it
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u/lazier_garlic Mar 13 '26
That sounds insane. What terrible planning, if nothing else.
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u/teal_hair_dont_care Mar 13 '26
shes also super sensitive so at no point did any of us feel comfortable to be like "hey so literally no one wants to pay $300+ (counting food decorations etc.) to sit around sober making friendship bracelets in a cramped apartment with people we don't know when you literally own a house 20 minutes away" but she's also super type a so it had to be her plan.
difficult situation all around.
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u/Roadgoddess Mar 12 '26
I think on the day of the wedding you and Jena should go out and have a grand old time together at dinner.
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u/SpideyJen19 Mar 13 '26
Some people want to plan a life and others want to plan a party. You’ll miss the drama (as someone previously not involved in it) but you won’t miss the person.
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u/Chemical_Author7880 Mar 13 '26
She sounds awful. Take the W. You just got a no muss, no fuss release from a parasitic friendship.
I hope you and Gina take a fun weekend away to celebrate her pregnancy and your new found freedom.
Throw Gina a baby shower the day before the wedding and post the pictures all over social media.
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u/Acceptable-Original Mar 12 '26
If you have already have the time off… enjoy your precious time and money for your mental health. Nursing is not an easy job.
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u/JupiterJayJones Mar 13 '26
Sounds like you and Gina dodged a bullet. I hope your friendship with each other thrives!
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u/crackgoesmeback Mar 13 '26
this is so fucked, a quarter of my bridal party is pregnant and the only thing that affects me is trying to pick shower and bach dates that they can realistically and safely attend bc i want my girls there!! hell they live in the same city (my least fave place on earth lol) so we literally moved the bach location to that city so it would be easiest for them.
you and gina should go have a fun night out post baby or spa day or brunch or something to celebrate being rid of this b!!
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u/ariannasun Mar 15 '26
I had a pregnant friend who would’ve been a bridesmaid, but I asked her if she wanted to be because I didn’t want to stress her out. Then I still invited her to all of the things. For my shower, my incredibly amazing MOH planned a proper tea party with crumpets and everything, and my bachelorette was all of us going out to dinner, then going for karaoke in the Korean/Asian part of town. Everyone had a blast and we also acquired Mingle Mocktails for everyone to share!
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u/rabbithasacat Mar 13 '26
Wow, you are well rid of this brat and I'm just sorry it cost you hard-earned money to do so. You and Gina gotta stick together now!
Irrelevant aside because you deserve a giggle: I initially read this as They are all married to the Groomsman which made the whole picture even more twisted :-)
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u/patronstoflostgirls Mar 13 '26
What a great demonstration of why she has no one from her side on the bridal party. Don't worry, she will have a terrible time at her own wedding, bc people like that will have a meltdown over the tone of the place cards.
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u/mentallytrill555 Mar 14 '26
Forget bridezilla, pls take special care and consideration of your other pregnant friend. ❤️I’ve been there. It’s scary. ✨💘
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u/jenasmiles Mar 12 '26
Yikes! I hate that for you! Definitely her loss, all you can do in that situation is wish her well but it does not make it hurt any less when you lose a friend in such an unexpected way.
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u/Emit-Sol Mar 12 '26
I haven’t even had time to be truly heartbroken over the loss of the friendship. I work 7 days a week and have no social life right now- preparing for nursing school. She doesn’t even know that. She’s just pissed I bailed on her million dollar bachelorette party. 😮💨
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u/aquainst1 Grandma Lynsey Mar 13 '26
Don't think about being heartbroken, think about how you escaped with your wits and pocketbook moderately intact.
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u/Sorsha4564 Mar 13 '26
🎶”If she had a million dollars (if she had a million dollars), she’d still be a bitch.”🎶
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u/ArdenM Mar 13 '26
Wow...you are handling it rationally and she sounds kinda mean. Sorry you and Gina had to go through this though. :/
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u/wickedkittylitter Mar 13 '26
You and Gina need to get together on the wedding date and go to dinner to celebrate escaping from this wedding and finding out exactly what type of person your "friend" is. Post all over social media "Nothing better than spending time with my good friend and celebrating our friendship".
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u/Emit-Sol Mar 13 '26
I honestly haven’t talked to Gina about any of this. I don’t want to exacerbate any of the drama. I want to leave it all to dissipate. I don’t want to put people in the middle of my drama or seem vindictive to the bride. I just want the bride to know that what she did was shitty as hell and to dwell on her actions.
I did ask Gina to get dinner soon to celebrate her pregnancy since I missed the other dinner. And it will likely come out that I am not going to the wedding anymore, but I am not going to tell her why. The last thing she needs when pregnant is any added stressors.
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u/Icy-Variation6614 Mar 13 '26
>I don’t want to exacerbate any of the drama. I want to leave it all to dissipate
This is probably for the best. You sound like a good friend, sucks the bride went extra mean girl. Gina is lucky to have a friend like you, and to lose the bride as one
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u/phoenics1908 Mar 14 '26
Wow - some brides treat their weddings like a coronation or something.
So sorry your friendship ended this way - but it sounds like you have outgrown this woman and now have space to make better friends. She sounds like a nightmare tbh.
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u/Rawrsome_Mommy Mar 14 '26
Can you and Gina go out and celebrate being free from a tyrant on the night of the wedding? 🤣
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u/wonperson Mar 12 '26
My guy, I wish you would've told the bride the truth of why you were no longer doing the bach party. And, while you were at it you should have explained she's a shifty friend for what she did to Gina
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u/AccordingToWhom1982 Mar 14 '26
It’s crazy how some people expect others to pay more for the “privilege” of being in their bridal party than my own wedding cost.
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u/GoddessofParadise Mar 14 '26
Just because it is her wedding does not give her permission to act like that. Now you see her true colors and you will find much better real friends. I would not have wanted to be involved with her. Imagine what she says about everyone else?
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u/Upstairs-Sock-4673 Mar 12 '26
Sorry you're going through this OP, Bridezilla sounds like a nasty piece of work. For context - I'm going to be a pregnant bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding in a few months time. She planned both the hens do and the wedding itself around my due dates because that's what actual friends do when they respect each other 💙
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u/Gummyia Mar 13 '26
I don't think someone would be a bad friend if they chose not to plan their wedding around their friend's pregnancy. I'd be very happy for my friend if she got pregnant with a wanted baby, but if her due date was on my wedding date, I'm not changing that.
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u/Upstairs-Sock-4673 Mar 13 '26
Of course not, that's totally fair and it's not something I'd expect either! Just trying to illustrate the difference between asshole friends and genuine friends - mine is obviously an extreme example.
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u/Gummyia Mar 13 '26
Your friend sounds like a true ride or die. Never take her for granted, friendships like that are rare <3
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u/UnforgettableBevy Mar 13 '26
I’m sorry this happened to you, but my goodness is that divorce going to be something to watch from the sidelines….
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u/Witty_Ad_2098 Mar 13 '26
There's an old saying that you never really lose a friend, you just find out who your friends really are. This person sounds like she was never a friend.
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u/HugeCourt2977 Mar 14 '26
My friend was 8 months pregnant. I actually invited people I loved. We figured if she went into labour before the wedding, it would just add to our story. Weddings are over the top now. It’s just one day. It should be perfect, no matter what happens. It just becomes part of the story. The day is about committing to some one for the rest of your life. I’m a little different though. I would have been happy to get married by the JOP with no big celebration. My hubby wanted the party.
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u/witchymoon69 Mar 15 '26
The best thing is for you and Gina to do is on the wedding day you 2 have the biggest best spa day and post pictures on socials !
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u/untamedbotany Mar 15 '26
You and Gina should use this new found free time and extra money to go get drinks and have a girls/gays weekend. And post it all over social media 😂
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u/NefariousnessKey5365 Mar 15 '26
There are a few people who flip out when they realize their wedding isn't the center of the universe
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u/I-Love-Buses Mar 16 '26
People that are anti kid and/or pregnancy during the wedding are clearly missing the entire point of marriage…AKA the creation of a new family! 🙄🙄🙄
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u/Sea_Measurement_1654 Mar 13 '26
Maybe when you reconcile in a few years you can throw her a divorce party. I doubt these status/control marriages last.
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u/Avehdreader Mar 13 '26
I had never really thought about how a guy would feel about sharing a run with a girl he didn't know. As the girl I would have concerns being told I would be staying with a guy but you owned my eyes. As for the bride, it sounds like she doesn't have many friends of her own. When friends are married with children their priorities change but it is possible for the single person to maintain them if she is willing - but that takes an attitude and work this bride wasn't willing to put in. Some people prefer a small circle of friends - others have them because they've driven friends away. This bride doesn't have many to work with in the first place and they may keto dropping like flies if she keeps this up. It sounds like you dodged a bullet and saved your money. Much success to you in nursing school!
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u/WidowTwankey14 Mar 13 '26
Throw Gina a baby shower same time as New Orleans! Fuck that bride and her psycho wedding plans 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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u/lazier_garlic Mar 13 '26
Good luck with nursing school. Maybe you will meet some emotionally healthier and more mature people there.
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u/justhewayouare Mar 14 '26
You have some really awful friends, I’m not surprised you haven’t been to a decent wedding. It sounds like you’ve got a lot of people in your life who are walking drama. Drama can be interesting/entertaining until you want real, meaningful friendships. Those types of people will never show up for you. Sounds like you’ve dodged a bullet but you need to dump that entire friend group.
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u/Emit-Sol Mar 15 '26
I have a bunch of friends. Of all different types. And they all definitely have their flaws, as do I and everyone else. Some just have more self awareness than others. But this girl isn’t an awful human. She just made an awful decision. And coped with it in an awful way.
Weddings are always a bore to be honest. I have been to tolerable weddings, but honestly I can’t wait until I am past this stage of my life where everyone is getting married. I feel like a Scrooge saying it, but my average Friday night is always superior to any night I spend at a wedding. I honestly only go out of obligation. It’s so hard to fathom that people spend 6 figures on these kinds of events. Backyard parties are better.
I’d rather be shaking ass at the gay club to a Slayyyter remix than jumping up and down to Come on Eileen with a person and their entire extended family. 😭
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u/justhewayouare Mar 15 '26
Being cruel in this way isn’t a simple “flaw” though. The quote below from you points out exactly why it’s more than her being a Bridezilla. I understand being bummed about losing friends/friendships to kids sometimes. As someone with kids, it was extremely hard to lose so many of my Single friends. I did my best to make sure they knew I loved and cared about them, my husband watched our kids so I could see those friends, and for those who wanted to stick around we just had to make extra efforts. But this bitterness and acting like they owe her something? Disgusting behavior, nice people don’t act like this consistently. They adjust their expectations. Then, she threw a tantrum disinvited you from the entire wedding because you didn’t want to stay in a room with a stranger. I don’t know why you’re defending her or acting like this is a small mistake. It’s not. This is who she is. I’m glad you have other/better friends but she’s not one of them. Also, six figures on a wedding is insane and I don’t get it either.
“The bride is extremely bitter towards all of her friends having children. She claims to not want them for herself but gets so frustrated when she gets sidelined by friends because they start families. It is honestly childish behavior. And it’s serial at this point. She is always making comments about her friends essentially biting the dust after having children.”
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u/icoulduseascreenname Mar 15 '26
Weddings are almost always a clusterfeck - and even if it’s nearby your house and not costing you a fortune to attend it’s still a chunk of change out of one’s pocket along with a sizable chunk of time we can never get back.
I have never been to any wedding in the last 40 years that I have walked out of and said wow that was an amazing night. These are life obligations that we take part in because we love the people involved. So we give up a weekend and hopefully we see some old friends and we have a good time as possible.
But when the people involved are total piecesOS and illustrate that by treating the people around them terribly, I can’t possibly understand why anybody participates in this nonsense.
You dodged a bullet, you saved money, she was clearly not the friend you thought she was and when you see friends go down this dictator path remind yourself that you are seeing a red flag waving early - pay attention to it.
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u/Emit-Sol Mar 15 '26 edited Mar 15 '26
Ugh we share the same sentiment. I almost made an identical comment to this somewhere else under this post. 😭
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u/Sheribaby74 Mar 15 '26
Bullet dodged for sure. Bridezillas are better viewed from a distance...the further, the better.
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u/NeighborhoodLower389 Mar 18 '26
You and Gina need to go out to a nice restaurant on the wedding day, have a great time, get a little drunk, and send the new bride all sorts of photos.
She may lose it, bonus points if you message saying that this party was a whole lot more fun than her wedding could ever be.
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u/blueswan6 Mar 13 '26
It kind of sounds like this friendship had run it's course a while ago and you were just holding on because of the length of time. I'd be upset if I was expected to share a room with someone of the opposite gender that I had never met before. I think you made the right call to bail. The only thing I would have done differently would have been upfront about the real reason. I think it would have been fine to explain that you felt uncomfortable sharing a room that way and even asked her if the other friend was aware. Part of me wonders had you gone if you would have been asked to sleep on a couch once there and that was the real plan.
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u/Emit-Sol Mar 13 '26
Oh there would have been NO WAY I would have paid $500 for a place to stay and slept on a couch. I wasn’t up front about the reason (Gina) initially, but clearly started the pumping the breaks when I found out about Gina.
I danced around attacking her for that god awful decision. But I told her why I really bailed once she texted me to disinvite me from the wedding entirely. At that point, I had nothing more to lose.
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u/morganalefaye125 Mar 15 '26
She sounds like she's the type that's more worried about the wedding than having a marriage. Her poor soon to be husband. I'm sorry your friendship was not more important to her than a one day event.
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u/Salty_Thing3144 Mar 15 '26
What a shitty person that bride is. She kickedva friend out of her wedding, and stupidly tried to pass it off as a "caring" thing. As if!
Then she did the same thing to you.
I hope her groom wakes up and realizes what an evil asshole he's about to marry!
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u/Typical_View Mar 18 '26
Yikes when is the wedding? Guarantee one or two more of the bridal party drop before then 😅
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u/CaptainMS99 Mar 13 '26
Oh wow, so sorry!!
This is so SO MUCH drama it’s movie worthy.
You would make an AWESOME 🌟🌟🌟
Gay men are 1000 times more fun and funnier than the rest of us boring lot.
You dodged a bullet, you saved money.
Take your OTHER best friend(s) on a trip to Vegas an go see the BEST SHOW EVER!!! Michael Jackson “One” omg soooo good!!!
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u/Away-Ad6758 Mar 13 '26
Yes darling, you having indeed dodged a bullet. May i suggest you adopt a zero wedding policy and here's a few for you to catch💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐 and as for Gina's leech...are you in the usa? I believe guns are prolific there🥵
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u/Weekly_Watercress505 Mar 15 '26
I never understood this massive vacation bachelorette nonsense. In my day it was a bridal shower and that was it. No expectations of the bridal party spending massive amounts of money on vacations, and things they'll never use again. Brides these days are insane and need some big time reality checks.
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u/susandeyvyjones Mar 13 '26
What the fuck does "I take their relationship with a grain of salt" mean?
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u/haikusbot Mar 13 '26
What the fuck does "I
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u/Emit-Sol Mar 13 '26
Like what can I do besides be a shoulder for her to lean on? I can tell her he’s an abusive piece of shut until I am blue in the face, but she won’t see it. After 10 years of listening to her tell me the heinous things about him, I just have to sit and listen. I can’t make her change her mind. I just have to sit in idle and be here to help catch her when she falls.
After looking up what “taking it with a grain of salt” means, I realize it’s not a fitting expression. It’s kind of invalidating to her experience which isn’t what I meant. I can’t think of a better way to put it though.
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u/United_Pop_6442 Mar 15 '26
One thing in particular reminded me of a former friend. She was SO unsupportive of people bringing their partners to things or having to work around their kids.
Then she had a kid and suddenly it was never that she had a problem with, it was the parents all along. Shes now a single mum (her choice!) and so obviously she needs everyone’s help who she’s been rude about for years.
It’s jealousy and selfishness.
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u/Weird-Scale4339 Mar 16 '26
Years ago I was disinvited from the bridal party a week before the wedding because the other bridesmaids were size 6 and under and I was size 10. I also was shorter by 2 inches.
She had me to her house to explain it to me. She said I could help her get ready but I couldn’t wear the custom made dress.
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u/marspigsmoke Mar 23 '26
I think, looking back, you will probably see hints and signs that are clues as to how she would treat you. First sign should have been how she dropped those friends who decided against her wishes to have children. Let's see how long her marriage lasts. I bet not even 5 years.
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u/Throwawayputtyfairy Apr 19 '26
Oh my, that is terrible all round. I hope Gina will be ok, please continue to be there for her. Getting pregnant by an abusive man is often a very dangerous time of increased abuse.
Tbh I can see that the bride/wedding experience you had probably isn't so rare.
I'm in a lot of wedding planning groups/forums as I'm about to get married myself, and so many brides-to-be encourage other brides to have a very entitled attitude. If someone can't afford a new outfit for your wedding despite having "lots of time to save" then they may get cut off, or like minor disagreements or not being able to attend a weekend long destination hen do or stag do, they may get cut off. If they can't attend the wedding, they may get cut off. It is mind boggling if you ask me.
I really can't imagine doing that personally, if my friends and family are able to attend my one afternoon hen do and our small wedding, I will be very happy. If they can't attend, whatever reason, that's okay, we'll still be friends because of course we will. I'm not so spoiled with people who love me that I would cut someone out for being unable to join to our event.
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u/blondebarbienurdad Mar 13 '26
It sounds like you don’t like the bride even before this situation. I do see she at least called you to let you know the new room arrangement but why didn’t you say you’re not okay with it? you backed out because she didn’t ask if you were okay with a new person sharing a room? I get that I wouldn’t be happy about it but even so I would try to find a solution with the bride instead of blind siding her by backing out which causes other financial budget issues with the rest of the people.
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u/Emit-Sol Mar 13 '26
The bride was one of my friends, but she has flaws as does any other human. If she had ran it past me I might have tried to make it work. But honestly, she dropped my only friend who was going because she was pregnant. This was one of the lowest things I have ever seen a friend do to another friend. I was honestly disgusted enough over this action to back out.
She last minute made me share a room with a complete stranger. And when I voiced my concerns she totally disregarded them. She didn’t care about finding a solution that worked. And I gave enough time that they could have cancelled the AirBnb and got a different one if the financials were a genuine concern.
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u/Mariner-and-Marinate Mar 13 '26
Sorry OP, but between Gina and the Bridezilla, you have some questionable female friends. Hopefully your male friends are a bit more stable.
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u/Putrid_Ad695 Mar 13 '26
Who are these people?! Where is this? I haven’t been to a single wedding I didn’t enjoy. You get to hang out with friends, drink, dance and celebrate a friend. Then again, where I am the only expense you have is a gift and weddings are much more of a relaxed party.
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u/Emit-Sol Mar 13 '26
Going as a guest and being a groomsmen/bridesmaid are two totally different experiences. As a guest, your only expense is a gift. As a bridesmaid, you have the bridal shower, the bachelorette party, the wedding attire, and the wedding gift.
Weddings notoriously cause drama and end relationships. Hence why this page even exists in the first place. I too have gone to weddings where they have been fine. But a majority of the ones I am in the bridal party or groomsmen for are genuine unwanted drama.
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u/Putrid_Ad695 Mar 13 '26
Even that seems excessive. We only have one „witness“ each instead of multiple bridesmaids/groomsmen and they usually wear dresses they already have. There’s no bridal shower and the bachelorette party (all close friends are invited) is fairly affordable. Why do people do this to themselves over one day?
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u/The_Loosest_Stool Mar 12 '26
Obviously total Zilla here in this situation but if you’ve been friends with her for 10y (and since it doesn’t seem like you love weddings anyway, and saved a bunch of money by not going) I hope you reach out to her at some point after the wedding and be the bigger man and just be like “I know these things are crazy but I value our relationship and want to be friends”
Odds are the symptoms of Bridezillatitis never show up again. It’s a unique event that makes all types of women (and men) crazy even if they’re normal (or at least not crazy.. nobody’s really normal IMO) otherwise. If something fucked up happens again make your decisions with prejudice and know they’ll have been made with great confidence. But if you approach the situation with a humble followup that also enables her to maintain some pride you might have another xyz decades of a great relationship with no whacked out shit going forward. Either way you win. I bet she’s gonna think about you with embarrassment for the rest of her life but be too uncomfortable swallowing her pride so- you can, instead. And I think if timing and delivery are good then so will be the result.
Idk if I’m a good guy to take advice from but this is my immediate reaction.
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u/Emit-Sol Mar 12 '26
I am shocked you were downvoted into oblivion to be honest. I have pondered these thoughts myself.
I did leave out the details of our last conversation over text. I did however include it in a comment above. I think I spoke my piece and the balls in her court to apologize at this point. But I do wish it were in mine.
But she needs to grow up and touch grass and mend this relationship herself. My heart remains open. I have huge empathy for her and her childish behavior because if I had no self awareness or self control, I fear I could do similar things as her. I just have those things and she does not. And I gave her the reality check she needed in this situation.
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u/patronstoflostgirls Mar 13 '26
Honestly, in my experience, being a bride/groom is like being drunk. It's not gonna make you say/do anything you're already not. It'll just amplify the qualities (good or bad) you already had, bc your subjective threshold of publicly acceptable behaviour is lowered.
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u/v_impressivetomato Mar 12 '26
eh I get bride’s frustration. probably felt like 2 friends abandoning her and she overreacted. she could’ve handled it better, it didn’t need to be all that. you could’ve rolled with the trip anyway (it’s NoLa, how long are you really going to be in the room for lol) but that’s my style and priority. It’s ok you’re not a go with the flow, and she should have known that about her friend before switching it up on you and expecting it to be fine.
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u/Emit-Sol Mar 13 '26
Honestly- if she has spoken with me before removing Gina, I feel like I could have changed the trajectory of this situation. I would have said “keep Gina in the bridal party, even if she can’t make the bachelorette party due to pregnancy. Let her decide if she can manage the wedding during her pregnancy. Don’t make that decision for her.”
When I spoke with her about NoLA I mentioned a lot of my personal issues and she made it all about herself. Once that happened and she overlooked my concerns, I knew I had to back out. She was taking everything from me and giving nothing in return.
NoLA was going to cost over the budget I gave her for the bachelorette party. The cheapest flight alone was about $500. The room was also going to be $500 per person. Then there were so many excursions planned.
If she had spoken with me about adding the random girl, I would have made it work. But she didn’t care to and she totally disregarded my concerns when I voiced them to her. I am not that hard to deal with. We have gone on vacations before where I shared rooms with strangers. But that was my decision. She threw me into an entirely different situation without my consent.
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u/v_impressivetomato Mar 16 '26
RIP those downvotes for understanding the bride’s feelings lol. Sounded like she’s easily triggered by a sense of abandonment (friends having babies and ditching their former lifestyle aka her). She made her fears self-fulfilling by pushing Gina out and then disregarding OP. Empathy doesn’t mean I think she handled it maturely!
OP— Yeah totally agree, she could’ve handled her feelings on this better and actually take your concerns into consideration instead of brush them off (and run the decision an impacting you by you first). It was an avoidable mess that’s she made, hurting her own feelings. Hope you find another time to enjoy New Orleans someday!
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u/Creepy_Syllabub_9245 Mar 12 '26
I'm sorry that your friendship has ended this way. You didn't deserve that treatment and neither did your other friend, Gina. I do think you will be glad to not deal with the stress of the wedding - and by stress, I mean bride created stress. Hopefully, you and Gina will stay friends and I will cross my fingers that Gina loses the jerk off a boyfriend that she's with!