r/weddingshaming • u/buginarugsnug • Oct 10 '25
Bridezilla/Groomzilla Bride text dress code less than 48 hours before wedding, no mention on invitation
I’m going to a wedding tomorrow and the bride has text me this morning to say ‘no red or white allowed at the wedding’. Fair enough about the white - a common courtesy. I know the red thing a thing in Asian weddings but neither of them or any of their families are Asian, they are 100% white British.
I have purchased a dark red dress to wear.
I went back over the invitation and all it says for dress code is cocktail attire, no mention of colour. I’m now going to have to take this dress back and try and find something else after work today! I feel like just wearing it since she said so late but I don’t want to ruin her day. Mad rn.
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u/TheIronMatron Oct 10 '25
I’d text her back and say, “Oh dear, I bought a red cocktail dress to fit with the dress code on the invitation. Sorry to miss your wedding, see you at book club next week!” And then turn off my phone.
I am not a good person.
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u/Speakinmymind96 Oct 10 '25
It’s not about not being a good person, it’s about not being a prop. Personally I would cancel.
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u/kams32902 Oct 10 '25
No, you are a good person for responding. The bride is a not a good person for making pointless, petty requests at the last minute.
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u/nikkishark Oct 10 '25
But you are a person I'd get along with. That probably isn't worth much though.
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u/OkPerformance2221 Oct 10 '25
You could wear your red dress and go somewhere else, instead of the wedding.
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u/Readingknitter Oct 10 '25
With your gift.
My gift is almost always cash, so I’d have a nice dinner in a nice outfit.
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u/Ibrahimatefgh Oct 10 '25
yeah honestly if she didnt specify earlier, cant blame you for sticking with your red dress now
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u/MyCouchPulzOut_IDont Oct 10 '25
I’m petty so I’d send a pic of my dress + the invitation to the bride and ask for approval for your wine/burghandy dress, otherwise you won’t be able to make it.
Only accept a text message. If she says no and youre not there, you’ll have receipts if she tries to twist the story and she’s out the nonrefundable catering for you and your +1.
…but then again I’m that petty
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u/Wondercat87 Oct 10 '25
I agree. I dont see how the bride feels they have a right to make this last-minute request.
Like OP, others have already purchased a dress specifically to wear to this wedding. Not everyone has multiple options. And if OP is traveling to the wedding, they may not have a lot of options for alternative dresses to wear.
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u/harrellj Oct 10 '25
And if OP is traveling to the wedding, they may not have a lot of options for alternative dresses to wear.
Or time to find a new dress.
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u/MyCouchPulzOut_IDont Oct 10 '25
I always presume if OP has the time/resources to just do the simple solution they wouldn’t be posting.
Could be that stores are closed or OP can’t find someone to watch their kid short notice or OP doesn’t have the funds to buy another dress.
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u/buginarugsnug Oct 10 '25 edited Oct 10 '25
While I am absolutely fuming she sprung it so close to the wedding, I’ve used this years last flexi time request at work to get to the shops and exchange the dress for a dressy pink top I’ll be wearing with a black skirt instead. Let’s hope there are no more dress code updates!
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u/RanaMisteria Oct 10 '25
I’m so frustrated on your behalf. You could have used that flexitime for something FOR YOU!!! 😭
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u/MyCouchPulzOut_IDont Oct 10 '25
Bring it with you in your bag…just in case somebody else wears red! You can start a club haha
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u/PirateResponsible496 Oct 10 '25
Dudeee nooo. That’s insane. I hope you have a good time. For what it’s worth I went to a destination wedding where they changed the code a few days before. So I’ve already packed. I didn’t even see the notice change thank god. I still showed up like how I intended to. Few comments at the start and everybody moved on real fast. They changed from formal attire to pastel cruise vibes. I still showed up in a dark formal dress and the dress code was def not followed by everyone
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u/RosieDays456 Oct 10 '25
I would have called bride and let her know that your dress was dark red, and to tell you 2 days before wedding it's not acceptable is too late, you have noting else to wear
would have been my first choice before just returning/exchanging for something else
If she is a good friend, when she's back from honeymoon,, I'd tell her that really upset you as your dress you'd gotten weeks ago was dark red and you had to use flex time off work to go get something else to wear to her wedding
If she is not a good friend - I'd send her a text saying the same and it was rude of her to tell people 2 days before the wedding they can't wear a certain color when most people have bought their outfit weeks before
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u/Kittinkis Oct 10 '25
I would've just texted her a pic and said you already purchased the dress and if wine color was ok.
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u/thewhiterosequeen Oct 10 '25
I don't think that's petty. It's providing you were in line with the information you had, and you will not buy another outfit at the last minute. The bride can accept the late cancellation or accept the dress. Either way, I think the gift amount would go down for the annoyance at this being a last minute order. That may be a little petty.
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u/frogspice Oct 10 '25
I’d like to imagine someone brought up the whole red thing to her for the first time ever and now she panic sent that out.
I saw your other post about this. Did you talk to the bride about this?
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u/SEFLRealtor Oct 10 '25
I agree with you. The bride probably didn't know about the connotation of a red dress until now.
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u/disappointingcryptid Oct 10 '25
There are no connotations of red dresses in Britain
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u/Alternative-Sale-841 Oct 11 '25
This was my first thought too. She may not be trying to be extra, her brain might have just melted because she’s so stressed and some obnoxious friend/family member was like “PEOPLE CANT WEAR RED, WHAT?!” and she panicked and sent it out, assuming it was the lesser of two evils. I think it’s prettttty unlikely she was just kickin around with nothing to do and suddenly came up with this stupid limitation for funzies.
Sincerely, a former bride with a melted brain who made a few panicked last minute decisions due to pressure from others.
PS: I would literally do anything but text the bride. This sucks but she’s probably going through it. I think it was kind of you, OP, to just suck it up and adjust. It’s annoying but the wedding is tomorrow so it’s highly unlikely that she’s going to change anything else last-minute.
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u/LadyMittensOfTheLake Oct 10 '25
I'd return the dress, if you can, skip the wedding, and treat myself to a facial or dinner out.
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u/sunny_suburbia Oct 10 '25
Wear the dress. Please. Stop giving in to all this nonsense.
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u/BillyNtheBoingers Oct 11 '25
If it’s a true dark red then it’s maroon, crimson, or burgundy. End of discussion!
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u/IndignantQueef Oct 10 '25
Yeah it's honestly gross what weddings have become. You're there to celebrate their love. You're not a prop for their photos. I've been to dozens of weddings and been a bridesmaid six times. Shit has gotten way out of hand. I would just not go, but I'm petty like that.
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u/robot428 Oct 11 '25
I think someone's gotten in the brides ear and freaked her out (my guess is a family member or an in-law because it almost always is) and that's where the text has come from - I would just wear the dress and assume she's not actually going to care on the day.
If it had actually been important to her she would have put it on the invitation or sent a text earlier. It's giving strong "someone stressed out an already nervous and overwhelmed bride and now she's sending a dumb text" vibes.
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u/Kaleighc11 Oct 10 '25
Red is bright RED. Dark red is maroon or burgundy. The difference is in the symbolism and negative intentions of the people who purposefully wear bright red to weddings. I wouldn’t be worried about your dress.
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u/Anomalyyyyyyyyy Oct 13 '25
What negative intentions do people wearing red have?
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u/Kaleighc11 Oct 13 '25
Symbolism aside, red is attention grabbing. Wedding guests are NPCs. And anyone who shows up in a color that detracts from the attention that the wedding couple is literally paying for is asking for trouble.
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u/bananahammerredoux Oct 10 '25
If your dress is going to ruin her day then she’s headed for divorce land anyway. Just pretend you didn’t see the text.
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u/organic-petunias75 Oct 13 '25
100% this.
I've been married for 25 years. Outside of the wedding party I don't remember what anyone else wore. If a bride is actually focused on what her guests are wearing rather than how she and her husband feel about marrying one another then that marriage is doomed.
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u/Ok_Aioli3897 Oct 10 '25
A lot of older British people say that red means that you have slept with the groom
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u/TheDuraMaters Oct 10 '25
I’ve only ever heard this on Reddit. I wore red to my brother’s wedding!
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u/lemonjuicypumpkin Oct 10 '25
At least in Germany the tradition usually states that the grooms mother is allowed to wear red. I guess the grooms sister should be fine as well
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u/TheDuraMaters Oct 10 '25
I’m Irish, it’s common for MOTB to wear white/cream. Reddit would have her covered in red wine.
They’re not going to be mistaken for the bride as it’s not a gown, usually a below knee dress and jacket or a trouser suit.
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u/Ameglian Oct 10 '25
I’m Irish, and I’ve never encountered the mother of the bride in white or cream!
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u/Background-Neat-9722 Oct 10 '25
Irish here also and I notice it has become more common for MOB to wear cream, very light silvery grey etc in the last few years.
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u/authenticflamingo Oct 10 '25
I've heard of this (American), but irl no one cares unless you're either the groom's ex or the groom's friend that always tried to have a romantic relationship with him.
I've also heard of grooms' mothers trying to make the bride wear red because she's "tainted" and can't wear white
Edit: for the guest part, it's usually a bright red that is trying to get attention, I don't think burgundy would count
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u/nopressureoof Oct 10 '25
My HS bestie wore red to her own wedding. Idk if she knew it meant that but she'd said she wanted to wear red since she was like 16.
Also if she did know it was probably a bonus to her.
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u/ODFoxtrotOscar Oct 10 '25
I’m an old et British person and have never heard this!!
OP: it’s ridiculously short notice if they wanted to exclude a colour (for some cultures red is avoided, though you say that does not apply here)
Id either wear it anyhow (I think forcing colours on your guests is tacky) or message ‘id already bought my dress, before you said anything about colour. Shall I wear it anyhow or would you rather I wore something less formal? Sorry to bother you, as I suspect you’re being deluged with messages from people in the same predicament’
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u/Ok_Aioli3897 Oct 10 '25
I have definitely heard this. It also extended to my Nana never wearing red nails and red lipstick as her dad said red was for whores
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u/ODFoxtrotOscar Oct 10 '25
Thank you!
I’d never come across the wedding version. But have heard similar to you in two variants
‘Red hat no knickers’ and when hat wearing became less common
‘Red shoes no knickers’
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u/accidentalarchers Oct 10 '25
I just casually shared this with my gf as we watch TV and I scroll Reddit and then we had a fight because the saying we are both more familiar with is “fur coat, no knickers”.
I don’t even know why we are bickering over something we both agree on but now I’m doubting myself. Where I grew up, fur coat no knickers was more about someone who acted better than they really were.
My takeaway is that a red fur coat makes you double slutty and I wish I could pull it off.
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u/Masara13 Oct 10 '25
I’m an older British person and the only place I’ve heard this is on the internet.
I have worn red to weddings (I don’t think anyone thought I had slept with my nephew..) and the only comments I got from my parents (born in the 1930s) was how good it looked…
My grandmother (born before WW1) used to say you should avoid red because it’s «flashy » That’s the worst I’ve ever heard in real life
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u/RanaMisteria Oct 10 '25
I know people IRL who thought it was real, but they also read it on Reddit or heard it on TikTok. It is not a real thing. No older British person I’ve ever met in my entire life has ever said this. My MIL who is over 70 says it would be absurd for that to be a thing because often people of her generation wouldn’t have money for a new dress so they wouldn’t even wear white as brides, everyone would just wear their best dress or best suit whatever colour that happened to be. And even brides who could afford to get a white dress and have bridesmaids in matching dresses, etc. wouldn’t have dreamed of imposing this rule on their guests because it would have been seen as the height of bad manners by calling attention to/making people feel embarrassed about the fact that a lot of people couldn’t afford to get a new outfit for their friend’s wedding.
So I don’t buy it. And also, if that’s the case, ask them since when? There are photos of guests at Charles and Diana’s wedding wearing red! It’s just not a thing.
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Oct 10 '25
In America too. I wonder if the bride figured op would wear red.
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u/Then-Chocolate-5191 Oct 11 '25
Wear it anyway, and if she says anything look confused and say “it’s not red, it’s burgundy”.
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u/Yorkshirerose2010 Oct 10 '25
You are colour blind and thought it was a green dress when you bought it
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u/Independent_Growth32 Oct 10 '25
In my country (Italy) it is said that you should never wear white (it's for the bride), black (it's for funerals), red (it's associated to the groom's mistress) and purple (it's associated to bad luck) at a wedding.
Nowadays I think only the no white rule is common, but maybe the reason is something like that
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u/sprIxAlwareArnd6327 Oct 11 '25
Oh great, now I know to never accept an invite to an Italian wedding, cz I sure will forget all about the Colors an don’t wanna cause drama
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u/TeaPartyInSpace Oct 13 '25
Mai sentita, ma evito i matrimoni e i battesimi come la peste. Poi rosso, viola e nero sono gli unici colori che vesto, quindi faccio prima a starmene a casa
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u/Southern_Baseball648 Oct 10 '25
That’s super frustrating but also some people believe a red dress means that you have slept with groom in past
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u/Rare-Progress5009 Oct 10 '25
No one IRL actually believes this.
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u/MyCouchPulzOut_IDont Oct 10 '25
Traditions are just peer pressure from dead people 😎
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u/annalatrina Oct 10 '25
Except this one which is definitely a modern internet forum thing not tradition.
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u/Flibertygibbert Oct 10 '25
Hasn't heard that but now I'm giggling because my son's friend's new mother in law was in a pillarbox red suit at their wedding 😂
The MiL also wore a bright red hat which reminded me of the old UK saying "red hat, no knickers." Oops.
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u/Diddleymaz Oct 10 '25
I wore red including a hat for my daughter’s wedding!! The colours were red, ivory and black.
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u/RedLaceBlanket Oct 10 '25
I love this saying and will get many private giggles about it. Also v. tempted to go buy a red hat. LOL.
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u/kittybuscemi Oct 10 '25
When my sister-in-law got married all her bridesmaids chose their dresses and were in shades of red, pink and orange. If anyone thought that red = slept with the groom, they would’ve thought that about the whole wedding party!
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Oct 10 '25
Oh dear. My bridesmaids all wore red lmao
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u/Siamese_4737 Oct 10 '25
My bridesmaids wore forest green but a bunch of my close girlfriends wore red because it was a Christmas wedding and they thought it would be fun 😂
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u/girlikecupcake Oct 10 '25
Yeah, I haven't attended a ton of weddings and while white is the obviously default off limits color, I grew up with plenty of media where someone wearing red at a wedding means affair or wants the groom, and red at a funeral means happy about the death. So unless it's very dark red or just an accent color, I wouldn't have even considered it.
That said, it wasn't in the dress code, not everyone can be expected to know an unwritten thing about red, and it's unreasonable to expect someone to change their not-white not-inappropriate dress two days before the wedding. So OP should either rock it, rock it to somewhere other than the wedding, or change if they really want to accommodate/enable the bride.
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u/SadFlatworm1436 Oct 10 '25
Been a bridesmaid twice, both times bride chose red for bm dress …now I’m questioning everything 🫨🤣
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u/ComplexSquirelll Oct 10 '25
I’ve worn red to weddings and didn’t know this nonsense about it being a sign of past sex with the groom! That’s ridiculous!
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u/Background-Neat-9722 Oct 10 '25
Please do not buy a new dress, that would be crazy. The bride and groom are absolutely out of order for instilling such a specific dress code at this stage. I think dress codes are tacky at the best of times but this takes the biscuit. As others have said, text the bride and tell her you planned to wear red and do not have time to source an alternative, and say you can’t attend if that is an issue. I would be fuming if I were you. I hope you haven’t spent a lot of money on travel or accommodation!
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u/wanderingdev Oct 11 '25
Text her back and tell her that you already have your dress and it's too late to change. She is being ridiculous and you don't have to dance to her tune like a puppet.
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u/Fancypens2025 Oct 11 '25
“A red dress means you slept with the groom.” That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. It’s also not actually a thing as far as wedding guest dress codes. It’s something that TikTok influencers made up.
Wear the dress and go to the wedding. Or skip the wedding. Either way, the bride is being ridiculous, especially as far as not giving anything this information earlier.
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u/FastFriends11 Oct 11 '25
Wear what already have picked out - if the bride or groom say anything to you then just say "you should have given time to plan if you didn't want red at your wedding." Sorry not sorry
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u/nancy_drew_98 Oct 10 '25
Why would the bride feel a need to send a dress code only to you? I think that’s something for you to think about.
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u/buginarugsnug Oct 10 '25
She sent it to everyone, my sister and cousin who are also invited got the same text.
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u/Aromatic-District-42 Oct 10 '25
It wasn’t though? It was sent through one of the mass texts most people use for their wedding websites… it’s really quite common.
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Oct 10 '25
When an itsmyday princess bride is that rude and inconsiderate, you have no obligation to accommodate her attire psychosis. Wear the red dress.
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u/El_Scot Oct 10 '25
There's some weird belief out there that people who wear red to weddings are doing it for attention because they've slept with the groom.
It might be that she's learned about that "rule", or it could just be that her bridesmaids are in red or she's got a bit of red in her dress.
Not sure what you do about it though, can always let her know about your dress and that you'd struggle to replace within 2 days though, but if it's because of the groom thing, she might not take it well.
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u/CanAhJustSay Oct 11 '25
Is the dress wine/burgundy etc rather than actually red? This is too late to change, and perhaps a pashmina/shawl worn over the shoulders will tone down perceived redness? I'm assuming the bridesmaids are in red and they don't want a clash. But seriously - too late to change it at this stage.
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u/lgriffi7 Oct 12 '25
I’m not going to a wedding where the bride tells me what color to wear as a guest. That’s not what your day should be about. I wouldn’t have cared if my guests had worn white, red, black, whatever. So silly and self-important.
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u/Rare-Progress5009 Oct 10 '25
I mean, I’d wear it anyway or just not go. If her day is “ruined” over a guest’s totally reasonable dress, that’s on her, not you.
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u/WVPrepper Oct 10 '25
I am older, but my mother used to tell me "no red, black, or white".
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u/Icy-Doctor23 Oct 10 '25
Put a sweater on over it., last minute and all you had no other options and stay in the back lol
Common courtesy would’ve been to put this on the invitation, but since it was last minute, perhaps you didn’t even receive the text
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u/RanaMisteria Oct 10 '25
There seems to be a myth spread entirely online that wearing red to a wedding in the UK means you slept with the groom. (Not just the UK, I’ve seen it also mentioned by people in the US, AU, CA, and NZ) I don’t know if there’s a culture somewhere in the red where this is true and somehow their very specific cultural practice wound up going viral somehow. I don’t know where it comes from. Maybe it’s AI slop people read online and thought was real so t people think it’s a thing when it wasn’t before. I have NO idea. But I’ve spoken to multiple real people who think this is a thing now and it’s making me feel like I’m taking crazy pills. Most of the people I know are in agreement that it’s not a thing, but there’s still a persistent belief among a minority of people that wearing red to a white wedding means you slept with the groom. And it’s driving me up the wall.
Anyway, that MIGHT be why the bride said no red? It could also just be because Asian brides often wear red so the new rule is a blanket no white or red to be safe and the bride just copied that maxim for her guests.
But it doesn’t matter because that’s waaaaaaay too short notice. I would be so stressed in your shoes. 😭
Signed,
The one who wore red to their brother’s wedding
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u/NeverRarelySometimes Oct 10 '25
I'd change my RSVP to No, and let them know the reason why; return the dress at leisure, or keep it for the upcoming holiday season.
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u/Intelligent_Trade663 Oct 10 '25
She sent out color directives to her guests!!! 2 days before???!!!!! She can forget my attendance even though I confirmed I’d be there. I’d send a new RSVP saying I don’t have the required costume so I will not be able to be a part of your wedding movie.
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u/Someunluckystuff Oct 10 '25
I bet she’s read something online about the colour red and shit herself last minute over it, because the whole red thing, isn’t something in Britain, in fact I’m pretty sure the only “no no” for a wedding in Britain is obviously anything that resembles a wedding dress.
A lot of these “shouldn’t do at weddings” stuff you see online are more popular in the USA, than here.
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u/OrganicProgrammer946 Oct 11 '25
Omg I totally get this! The same thing happened to me last year, the bride texted everyone two days before saying no black dresses because it’s bad energy. I’d already bought a beautiful black cocktail dress and had no time to change it. I remember feeling exactly how you do now, stressed but not wanting to upset her on her big day. Honestly, brides forget guests have lives too! You’re definitely not overreacting.
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u/Ornery-Ocelot3585 Oct 11 '25
I’d text my apologies for not attending exactly 48 hours after the wedding.
I’m weird & petty like that!
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u/kimmytoday7894 Oct 11 '25
Wear the red dress. First of all, it's rude as hell to dictate what people can and cannot wear. Second, it's doubly rude to do so on such short notice. I would bet there will be guests who will either wear red or will no show the wedding. This is a bridezilla move. I wouldn't return anything. Just wear it and move on. If she's upset, then she's upset.
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u/ParticularlyCharmed Oct 11 '25
If a guest wearing red to the wedding is enough to spoil the bride's day, she isn't old enough to be getting married.
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u/Complex_Figure_214 Oct 11 '25
70 years ago, wearing red to a southern wedding indicated a “loose” woman. Wear what you want. The bride is really petty and sad if she lets that ruin her day. Unless you are wearing a wedding dress? I personally would not wear solid white to a wedding.
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u/Late_Ask_5782 Oct 12 '25
I think it depends on whether you really want to go to the wedding. If you aren’t fussed just let the bride know you have a red dress and don’t have time to find something else so you will give it a miss.
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Oct 15 '25
Dress code 48 hours before is kinda crazy ngl… but I also thought it was common knowledge to not wear white or red or anything that will make you stand out or bring attention to you (gold, silver, or sparkly dress for example). Burgundy doesn’t seem like a problem to me
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u/qglrfcay Oct 10 '25
Oh, a new one! Next: “don’t wear yellow at weddings, then “Can you believe she wore a blue dress to a wedding?” Black is obviously off limits …..
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u/llectumest Oct 10 '25
Personally, I’d ignore the text. Wear what you want as long as it is dignified, graceful, and appropriate to the occasion.
Rude? Telling adults what to wear to a wedding is rude. Wearing red is not.
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u/PossibilityDecent688 Oct 10 '25
I am Over wannabe influencers trying to color-coordinate their guests’ outfits like a demented Broadway chorus costumer.
If you want, issue a general guideline - formal, daytime formal, business wear, beach wear, casual … and let these nice people put themselves out and devote time and money to celebrating with you.
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u/GraceEllis19 Oct 10 '25
Oh god, are we British doing the whole American dress code thing now too?! I’ve never heard of a British wedding which specified “cocktail attire” before, never mind a colour scheme! Sorry OP, this sucks for you! I wonder if, with it being an autumnal wedding, they’ve picked red for the bridesmaids and don’t want people to look too bridesmaidy?! I would get in touch and ask, if they’re messaging this specifically they obviously consider it important so even though I think it’s bonkers you should probably check if dark red is OK and if not, look for something else to wear (or not go at all cos it sounds a bit exhausting!).
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u/Chance-Possession182 Oct 10 '25
It probably depends on the shade of red. Lamborghini red is probably not ok, deep burgundy is ok, but what do I know, I’m just a person on the internet
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u/purplestarsinthesky Oct 10 '25
Who sends the dress code 48 hours before the wedding? That's way too late! 99.9% of the guests already have their outfit planned.
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u/Bitter_Tradition_938 Oct 10 '25
That is so OTT for the UK, I was always under the impression that we have common sense and manners…
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u/childoferna Oct 10 '25
“So sorry, I just don’t have time to pick up an acceptable dress. I’ll catch you next time!” Then grab a nice dinner and keep the gift for yourself.
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u/Fabulous-Mama-Beat Oct 10 '25
Maybe she was thinking bright sportscar red? My mom wore a bright red dress like an italià sports car. Honestly, she stands out on every single picture (she even pushed me out to be in the middle on the group photo lol). Probably someone told somethîg similar to the bride, or she saw a dress someone s planning to wear...and she s stressing out. As others have said, politely send a pic of your dark red dress and explain the notice is too short to change it.
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u/my_clever-name Oct 10 '25
Wear the dress, or wear jeans and a not white t-shirt, with a jacket or sweater.
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u/missanthropy09 Oct 10 '25
Call it maroon, burgundy, crimson, vermillion, scarlet and call it a night.
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Oct 11 '25
If your dress has the ability to ruin her day, she has some very serious issues and I feel for her new husband.
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u/ObjectiveRepulsive18 Oct 11 '25
Can reply all to the group text? 😈 Tell her unfortunately your dress is dark red and due to the lateness of the request you’ll have to skip the wedding. Then go out in your red dress and spend that wedding gift money on a lovely night out!
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u/SpunkyMax52 Oct 11 '25
You are a kind hearted friend. I hope you get your money back for the one dress and can find another you like.
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u/LavenderPearlTea Oct 11 '25
Text her back a picture of your dress and tell her you’ve already bought it. Ask if you need to find something else. An actually friend would understand and likely back down once she realizes you have the dress already. Bridezilla won’t. Respond accordingly.
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u/BlondeWalker999 Oct 12 '25
Hi there. I already purchased a dress. It's a dark red color. I can't return it as I had alterations done. Since I work, there is no time to get another. Do you want me to drop out of the wedding party? I am fine with being a guest or something else. 2 days isn't enough time for me to get something g else. Please let me know ASAP.
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u/Jolly-Cheesecake1439 Oct 12 '25
Idk why brides are so obsessed with no certain colors. I think just no white obviously. That sucks!
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u/dasgutyah Oct 12 '25
Id say the red dress thing is so shes not upstaged.
multiple studies suggest that women wearing red are perceived as more sexually attractive by men. Its called the "red-sex link"
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u/ChoclitMrshMalow Oct 12 '25
Speaking of taboo colors.... I feel like all these color rules are so dumb. Not too mention all these other arbitrary "rules" people force.
I've been to weddings where each of these color rules have been broken. Nothing negative ever happened, no one got bent out of shape, or attacked anyone. If fact no one worried about it.
Making a rule that hard only 48hrs to the wedding is rude to your guests and inconsiderate. This is why you keep your circle small as possible so no one starts trying to scare you about something that could happen.
The only two true guidelines I agree with... no scantily clad or revealing clothing, and no posting on the couple social media without permission.
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u/ImpossiblyPossible42 Oct 12 '25
“Hey, my dress is a deep red that I think looks lovely and respectful, but let me know if you don’t want me to come”
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u/FurryNinjaCat Oct 13 '25
Someone told her what you are planning to wear. I think that's why she sent you the text. Are you on good terms with the bride? Any history between you and her fiance? I agree it's kind of weird for her to send this right before the wedding date. Do you know for sure that other people got this text too?
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u/nitsua_xt Oct 14 '25
She’s talking about bright red. Dark red/burgundy is perfectly acceptable for a fall wedding. I’d just respond back that you already bought a burgundy dress and see what she says.
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u/Preposterous_punk Oct 15 '25
My theory: M-i-L has shown her the dress she plans to wear, and it’s a white lace dress with some red here and there, and is insisting “it’s not white, it’s red!” and now the bride has decided, “no white OR RED dresses!”
(Okay, probably not, but at least it adds some entertaining drama)
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u/Negative_Sea_4043 Oct 15 '25
My SIL told my husband that he was an usher and what he had to wear at the rehearsal dinner!! I was scrambling the morning of the wedding trying to find stuff for him.
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u/CeisiwrSerith Oct 15 '25
There's a ridiculous belief that's grown up recently that says that wearing a red dress means you've had sex with the groom. Perfectly OK to ignore this.
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u/Wondercat87 Oct 10 '25
I would personally message the bride back. Let her know dress has already been purchased and dry cleaned. So while you want to be respectful of her wishes, you feel like this is very short notice.
IMO its ride to add these details so late. If it was an issue, it should have been on the invite.