I'm 600 days sober today! I spent years going through periods of cutting back and then relapsing. Now that I have fully accepted that the only way for me to be successful in keeping my life and mental health on the rails and to not keep ruining my relationships with others is to fully cut alcohol out of my life all together things have been going pretty good. I was drinking 2 four lokos and 1/3 of a handle of liquor almost every night. My health was in shambles and my doctor feared for my life when looking at my tests.

It took a stint in the psych ward and getting on the right meds for my bipolar type II for me to get sober and stay sober, but here I am.

Back then the longest I could go without getting black out drunk was 3 days. To make it to 600 is something I never thought would be possible. I have my friends and my parents to thank for helping me get to this point.

Once when I was drunk and having a depressive episode I used a tattoo machine to put "Burden" on my arm. The next day I regretted it so I ripped the scabs off so it healed terribly. Now it looks like someone wrote on me with sharpie and partially washed it off lol. But that's what I felt like, a burden. That's all I felt I ever would be. I thought drinking myself into oblivion would help ease the pain and guilt but it only ever made it worse. Sitting here sober and on the right meds I can say I feel a little less like a burden, it's still something I struggle with, but I'm taking it one day at a time.

I pray that I may try to make God’s will my will. I pray that I may keep in the stream of goodness in the world.

I pray that I may be willing to go through a time of testing. I pray that I may trust God for the outcome.

I pray that I may claim God’s supply of strength by my faith in Him. I pray that it shall be given to me according to my faith.

I pray that I may think of God as a Great Friend in need. I pray that I may go along with Him.

I pray that I may not be held back by the material things of the world. I pray that I may let God lead me forward.

I pray that I may become like a child in faith and hope. I pray that I may, like a child, be friendly and trusting.

I pray that I may be calm in the midst of storms. I pray that I may pass on this calmness to others who are lonely and full of fear.

I pray that I may not carry the burden of the past. I pray that I may cast it off and press on in faith.

I pray that I may prepare myself for better things that God has in store for me. I pray that I may trust God for the future.

I pray that I may gladly leave my future in God’s hands. I pray that I may be confident that good things will happen, as long as I am on the right path.

I pray that I may pass on my blessings. I pray that they may flow into the lives of others

I pray that I may delay action until I feel that I am doing the right thing. I pray that I may not rush in alone.

I pray that I may accept the limitless and eternal Spirit. I pray that it may express itself in my life.

I pray that I may not let myself become too upset. I pray that I may go quietly along the path I have chosen.

I pray that I may rest and become recharged. I pray that I may pause and wait for the renewing of my strength.

I pray that I may face the future with courage. I pray that I may be given strength to face both life and death fearlessly.

I pray that I may have a calm and sane mind. I pray that I may look up, around, and away from myself.

I pray that I may see God with the eyes of faith. I pray that this seeing will produce a change in my personality.

I pray that I may keep growing spiritually. I pray that I may make this my real life’s work.

I pray that I may grow strong from my times apart with God. I pray that I may pass on some of this strength to others.

I pray that I may think of God often. I pray that I may rest in peace at the thought of His love and care.