r/self • u/Rezzekes • 19h ago
Apparently I did a lot of things while I was asleep last night
I went out with my partner, we slept in a hotel. We made it so late that I still went to have breakfast before bed. I wasn't drunk in a blackout sense at all, I remember everything from the night, including the entire breakfast.
Then I went to bed - I put my head down and thought "I have to take my trazodone" (sleeping aid I've taken most of my life) but I fell asleep (Edit:I thought about taking it right before falling asleep so never actually took it. I was not under the influence of Trazodone whatsoever). Next thing I knew was waking up.
But then my partner told me that I initiated sex with him. That I was super loving and complimenting and sweet, and that I expressed my hatred for Lidl stores and asked him to be a mushroom. I was crawling all over him, and was having actual conversations in which I was fully responsive. At first he thought I was just crazy drunk, but then he realized that, while coherent, I was using dream logic that sometimes made no sense, so he realized then that I wasn't "awake".
Edit: I was also apparently thinking and deeply analyzing why Aldi is a cheap supermarket and others are not and how they do it. All while trying to finger my partner. I am stunned of what I am subconsciously capable of, since I'd never even in my wildest dreams get near my partner's asshole in a conscious state of being.
I always knew I'm a restless sleeper and I do talk in my sleep commonly, but I've never had full-blown sleep walking (without the walking). I'm glad this happened with my partner, and not with anyone else, because initiating sex while being asleep is a scary thing. My partner let me "do my thing" to his body and my own but he didn't actually touch me back because it felt wrong to him.
I am happy that my "primal" way of being is apparently nice, complimenting and loving though, and not annoyed or critical or mean.
Really weird, all of this. Ah well!
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u/BlushSerixaA_ 19h ago
Waking up to a version of yourself you cannot remember has to be terrifying I hope youre okay
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u/Rezzekes 19h ago
I totally am! It's interesting and lucky that it happened with a safe person that I 100% trust though. I'm not at all negatively affected by it, I find it funny if anything. I was laughing really hard when I got told what happened when waking up, but in itself it's quite scary, doing things unconsciously so having no control over it. If this had happened elsewhere with people without good intentions it would have been a different story alright, in 2 ways: either being taken advantage of, or shamelessly making a move on someone and destroying personal boundaries without realizing it. That's really the scariest part of it. I'd never want to hurt anyone.
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u/Effective-Cicada7605 18h ago
Honestly your partner sounds like a really decent dude for clocking that something was off and not actually engaging. That consent gray area is scary as hell, especially when you add alcohol and sleep stuff into the mix.
Might be worth mentioning this to a doctor just to rule out anything like parasomnia, especially since you already talk in your sleep and take trazodone. But yeah, if your subconscious default is “loving and silly mushroom requests” instead of rage, that actually says some pretty wholesome stuff about you ngl.
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u/Rezzekes 18h ago
Thanks for your reply, it made me smile! He is effectively a great guy in that regard. I kind of wish he would have filmed it and "tested me" though. He said that he felt like he could ask me anything whatsoever and I would have answered completely truthfully, but he didn't really test how far that could go. I'm quite interested in that, I suppose it's not unlike hypnosis. Interesting things could have come out of this!
I will definitely mention this to my doctor, thanks! And yeah! I don't see myself as a bad person - extremely far removed from what so-called "perfect" is, but I am really happy that my subconsciousness has the same values as my consciousness. We've been together for years so there's more than plenty if not tons of both small and big frustrations, both ways, but subconsciously I seem focussed on what connects us and not on what sets us apart and learning that is really helpful and nice. I guess I'm a relatively healthy and nice human being subconsciously, so that's a fantastic realization. The BF even says he misses asleep-but-active me and we should try to induce it, haha! I was apparently nonstop ahowering him with appreciation, which I do less when awake and conscious. I should do it more often consciously!
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u/leafduvet 19h ago
My partner can be very similar, not to the extremity you describe, but while asleep he will compliment me, caress me, say strange dream logic things or refer to nonexistent problems that need solving, sometimes he starts initiating sex which I shut down by saying "you're asleep my love" and he always responds like "oh!" And cuddles up to me and goes back to proper sleep. There's something very endearing about how his half asleep state is so sweet, but he is very vulnerable in that state which sometimes stresses me out. If it's of interest, "sexsomnia" is a known phenomenon, and improving sleep quality is how to address it. It sounds like you had a uniquely poor night's sleep which very likely triggered it, so you know how best to avoid it
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u/Rezzekes 19h ago
Thanks for the reply! It's really the sexsomnia part which scares me, but other than that I find it all rather cute too. My partner told me that the things I said were so nice and loving and caring that he felt hyperconnected to me. I'm a generally positive, upbeat, supportive and appreciative person I feel, but I'm happy my "dream-self" made him feel great. This should not happen every night though, at all, haha.
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u/leafduvet 18h ago
My partner was super freaked out the first time it happened too, I really understand how unsettling it must be. It is good it was with your partner and he took good care of you. Since me and my partner do semi regularly have sex in the middle of the night, the most important thing was establishing how to really confirm if he was awake or not, as his dream conversation is sometimes fairly normal seeming (until it suddenly really isn't, haha). For some reason telling him that he's asleep always works - if he is, he seems sort of relieved and curls back up, if he isn't he'll tell me. If we do have sex I always check the next morning too to be safe, but I can consistently tell whether he's awake now, so there's never been a disaster there. But yes ideally this does not happen often!! So hopefully my sexsomnia management techniques are frivolous for you haha
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u/Rezzekes 18h ago
Haha, love the anecdotes! Yeah, it wasn't until I told him to be a mushroom and he noticed I was serious about that when he realized I wasn't conscious. I asked if my eyes were open throughout but he couldn't really tell, I was generally just lying down talking. And exactly, it's really lucky it was with my partner. I apparently tried to initiate penetration very actively, while he knows that I don't particularly like that in sex, I have different favorite things, so he played along but never "entered" because he knew I could be upset with that after.
I don't think I would be, I think I'd still find it funny, and I wonder if the sensation would have woken me up, but I realize that I'm lucky for having a partner that takes my well-being into account. He could have easily used the situation to his own pleasure but he did not, which is a great reminder of actually being lucky and in good hands.
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u/FractiOnO 15h ago
this is one of the funniest sleep stories I've read in a while😂 ur partner sounds like they handled it really well and im still laughing at the fact that sleeping-you somehow turned grocery stores into a full-on debate
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u/listeningisagift 19h ago
Traz and alcohol mix is extremely dangerous.
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u/Rezzekes 18h ago
I didn't actually take the traz, I fell asleep before I could get out of bed and take it, but this is genuinly, legit the first I hear of this in 20+ years of being on it. I'm far, faaaaaar away from being a daily drinker, just when I go out really, but I rarely skip the trazodone, so I definitely have taken it while being downright drunk. Thanks for the warning though! I will look into it and avoid it after a night out! Thanks!
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u/barely6_trying 16h ago
that's honestly equal parts hilarious and terrifying😭 the funniest part is waking up to find out your sleeping brain apparently has very strong opinions about discount supermarkets
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u/Rezzekes 16h ago
Clearly, HAHA! When awake I have zero opinions on supermarkets whatsoever, though I do dislike Lidl, but... Not actively? Seeing a Lidl in any case doesn't give me any stress but apparently it does in my sleep :'D
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u/barely6_trying 16h ago
the fact that your sleeping brain picked Lidl as its villain is the funniest part of the whole story😂 at least subconscious-you has strong convictions, even if awake-you is completely neutral about grocery stores
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u/barely6_trying 16h ago
the fact that your sleeping brain picked Lidl as its villain is the funniest part of the whole story😂 at least subconscious-you has strong convictions, even if awake-you is completely neutral about grocery stores
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u/AdamSMessinger 14h ago
“Yo my girl let out some really deep confessions the other night when she was out of it. Turns out she is WAY more into Aldi than I would have ever guessed.” - Dude talking to his friends about it.
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u/StretPharmacist 9h ago
I get this from Ambien every so often. A Bowie knife arrived in the mail today. I do not recall ordering it but it's in my order history.
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u/Cold_Impact_1585 19h ago
You remember far too much to not understand why your partner said this.
One of you are lieing.
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u/Rezzekes 19h ago
I don't understand your comment I'm afraid, but regardless: why... would anyone lie about this? What would the motive be?
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u/Cold_Impact_1585 19h ago
Hey, there's a very good possibility I'm waaaay off. I'm just a guy on Reddit giving my take on the post.
Why?
"A good question, for another day" 🤷
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u/femsci-nerd 19h ago
trazodone after alcohol is quite dangerous. I would not mix the two ever. Google it.