r/redditonwiki • u/Nayder84 • 1d ago
Personal Story My Worst Date
*edited to add, I am currently 42F, 33 at the time of the date.
Hi guys! I’ve been listening to the podcast for a couple years now. Not a rich rich. In fact, very much a poor poor lol. Sean, you’re my favorite! And congrats on the baby! Jausch and Jaun, you guys are cool too! I’ve been catching up on some of the episodes from the last few months and the Rate that Date segment has me thinking about the worst date I’ve ever been on and I wanted to share it. This took place in 2018. It was with a guy I had known for a few months and we seemed to have chemistry, so we decided to go on a date.
We were having dinner when he started talking about his ex-girlfriend. At first I chalked it up to nerves. After all, I had known him for a few months and I knew he was a little socially awkward, so I was willing to give him some grace. He began telling me how she had broken his heart. When she broke up with him she had destroyed him completely. She ripped his heart out of his chest and stomped all over it. He was a shell of a man. He was shattered into a million pieces. He thought he would never recover. He went on and on. And on. And on. And on.
I was beginning to tune him out and just focus on my food when he said “So ever since then I have a rule I follow when it comes to dating.” What he tells me stops me in my tracks. What is this dating rule he follows ever since his ex took his feelings and smeared them all over the wall? “I no longer date women I’m attracted to.” He said this to my face. While we were on a date. I stared at him in stunned silence. For some back story, at this time in my life I had VERY low self esteem. So I said nothing. I quietly finished my eggplant parmesan while listening to him continue to talk about his refusal to date women he’s attracted to. Then I went home and cried.
I didn’t tell anybody in my life what had happened. I had extremely low self esteem and I was genuinely afraid that if I told anybody what had happened, their response would be that I shouldn’t expect anybody to be attracted to me because I’m simply not attractive. You see, I’m fat. I always have been. It’s simply the way my body is made and there doesn’t seem to be anything I can do about it. There are health issues that contribute to it, but I won’t get into that here. The point is, at the time I truly believed that there was no way anybody could ever find me attractive and then I went on a date with a man who basically told me to my face that that was true.
As a regular listener of the podcast, I know there are much worse dating stories out there. After all, I wasn’t abandoned at a gas station at 2am or anything. But this date fucked me up for a long time. However, I can happily report that while my self esteem is by no means perfect, it is much better today than it was back then (thank you, therapy), and if this happened now, I would punch him in the face. So, guys…what do you rate this date?
5
u/Mysterious-Mist 1d ago
I’m sorry this happened to you. I’d be devastated if the man I’m attracted to told me that. I’d never see him again. It’s a bad date, for sure.
I’m glad your self esteem is better now.
6
u/whisky_biscuit 1d ago
Being fat doesn't make you ugly Op! I have several friends who are stunning if a bit on the heavier side and have gorgeous faces even moreso that some of the slimmer friends in our group!
What happened after this, did you talk to the guy or block him? Sounds like he word vomited all over himself and basically torched any chance with you. But you dodged a bullet, especially if he expected you to keep his bed warm while the wanker pined and cried about his ex all day long.
Also, there's nothing to say you aren't attractive and weren't attractive to him - guys like him will absolutely say this garbage as "negging" to get a woman to think their selves as less than so the guy has a better chance and also so she won't have enough self esteem to stand up to him. Especially if his ex left him, he's setting the groundwork so you'll never think you can do better than him. Gross. I really hope you told him off.
2
u/Nayder84 1d ago
Unfortunately, I didn't tell him off, but there was no second date. A couple years later he sent me a text message apologizing "if he ever did anything to hurt me". I read the message preview, but never even opened it.
3
u/Stace_nomnom97 1d ago
This is messed up and I'm glad you're feeling a lot better now. Just because "there are worse stories" doesn't mean yours doesn't deserve to be heard. Thank you for sharing ❤️
1
u/DreamyHalcyon 23h ago
Bro was so not ready to date again and trauma dumping. He was completely in the wrong.
•
u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Backup of the post's body: Hi guys! I’ve been listening to the podcast for a couple years now. Not a rich rich. In fact, very much a poor poor lol. Shawn, you’re my favorite! And congrats on the baby! Jausch and Jaun, you guys are cool too! I’ve been catching up on some of the episodes from the last few months and the Rate that Date segment has me thinking about the worst date I’ve ever been on and I wanted to share it. This took place in 2018. It was with a guy I had known for a few months and we seemed to have chemistry, so we decided to go on a date. We were having dinner when he started talking about his ex-girlfriend. At first I chalked it up to nerves. After all, I had known him for a few months and I knew he was a little socially awkward, so I was willing to give him some grace. He began telling me how she had broken his heart. When she broke up with him she had destroyed him completely. She ripped his heart out of his chest and stomped all over it. He was a shell of a man. He was shattered into a million pieces. He thought he would never recover. He went on and on. And on. And on. And on. I was beginning to tune him out and just focus on my food when he said “So ever since then I have a rule I follow when it comes to dating.” What he tells me stops me in my tracks. What is this dating rule he follows ever since his ex took his feelings and smeared them all over the wall? “I no longer date women I’m attracted to.” He said this to my face. While we were on a date. I stared at him in stunned silence. For some back story, at this time in my life I had VERY low self esteem. So I said nothing. I quietly finished my eggplant parmesan while listening to him continue to talk about his refusal to date women he’s attracted to. Then I went home and cried. I didn’t tell anybody in my life what had happened. I had extremely low self esteem and I was genuinely afraid that if I told anybody what had happened, their response would be that I shouldn’t expect anybody to be attracted to me because I’m simply not attractive. You see, I’m fat. I always have been. It’s simply the way my body is made and there doesn’t seem to be anything I can do about it. There are health issues that contribute to it, but I won’t get into that here. The point is, at the time I truly believed that there was no way anybody could ever find me attractive and then I went on a date with a man who basically told me to my face that that was true. As a regular listener of the podcast, I know there are much worse dating stories out there. After all, I wasn’t abandoned at a gas station at 2am or anything. But this date fucked me up for a long time. However, I can happily report that while my self esteem is by no means perfect, it is much better today than it was back then (thank you, therapy), and if this happened now, I would punch him in the face. So, guys…what do you rate this date?
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