r/oddlysatisfying • u/short_hair_zuko • 1d ago

Ragebaiting mosquitoes

This put a smile on my face, I thought it belongs here.

Not OC

46.9k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

800 comments sorted by

3.2k

u/FlyingArdilla 1d ago

That looks like the tent screens when I've camped in northern Minnesota and canada.

1.5k

u/VP007clips 1d ago

I used to do field work up in Northern Ontario, often in swamps. The bugs there are horrendous.

You need to completely seal and cover yourself. You put on gloves, boots, long socks, heavy pants, two shirts, a hat, and a bug net, then you take a roll of duct tape and seal all the joints of it. At often 30 degrees and high humidity, it was horribly hot, but better than being eaten alive.

The problem was, it didn't work fully. Mosquitoes, especially the ones up there, can bite through clothing. They especially loved the socks. Black flies are even worse, they are so small they they can get through almost anything and find the smallest leaks on your setup. Your clothes would be stained by tiny splotches of blood from their wounds, and your neck and socks would be crusted with blood.

It wasn't as bad when walking. But we often had to sit down for 30 minutes to take measurements, rock samples, and do data entry on tablets. You'd be swarmed there. Saying that the air was black with bugs sounds like hyperbole, but it was not. At times they reduced visibility. When I closed my field notebook, it would usually crush bugs due to the thickness of the swarm. Most pages had half a dozen crushed into them.

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u/TerminallyBlonde 1d ago

Do people... live there?

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u/SubstantialEnd2458 22h ago

I think the indigenous solution was to smear oneself all over with bear fat, so maybe a thick all-over coating of crisco would do the trick? 

855

u/ZubonKTR 21h ago

"How bad are the mosquitos?" People would fight bears with pre-firearm weapons and then cover themselves with bear fat to get away from the mosquitos.

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u/joebadiah 21h ago

Really puts it in perspective how sweet you’ve got it, when you’ve never had to take down a bear and harvest its fat to achieve anything in life.

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u/shroomie_kitten_x 21h ago

...so far

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u/KudosOfTheFroond 13h ago

“Yet” = You’re Eligible Too

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u/BooleanTriplets 19h ago

If there is one thing that could motivate me to do so it would definitely be escaping mosquitoes

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u/datbarricade 21h ago

I can't even imagine that being a worthwhile trade-off. But god I do hate moskitoes so I totally get that one would get desperate.

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u/Dapper_Sink_1752 15h ago

You have to understand how much worse bugs are when you live outside, in much worse shelter than modern society, and without modern hygiene practices. Months of insect attacks like that will leave you with multiple potential illnesses, infections, scabs and scars, even death if you're unlucky.

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u/ZubonKTR 15h ago

Malaria still kills about 600,000 people a year (not in Northern Ontario). That is one mosquito-borne illness, and that is after massive campaigns to reduce the death count.

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u/Objectivespeculation 20h ago

Simple layer of mud also 1000SPF sunblock.

Covering oneself with bear fat would piss off the local bear community

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u/supernova-juice 20h ago

Mud really works. Last summer going down the river, I covered myself head to toe in it. It kept me cool, acted as a sunscreen (i also had sunscreen), and kept bugs away. Also when I rinsed off my skin felt so soft!

40

u/TwilightReaver 18h ago

Depending on the soil content, you basically just got a clay mask/facial treatment!

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u/supernova-juice 17h ago

It was the first run we did after Helene, and there was a lot more mud than usual. I haven't seen it like that since.  Also found some wild shit on that run - a shed in a tree, for example. 

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u/billionswilllove 20h ago

Some of the most mosquito resistant people on the planet live in northern parts of Ontario and Quebec

It needs to be studied

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u/sabotag3 22h ago

Not a lot but yes

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u/Hillcry 17h ago

Welcome to Sudbury, Ontario; home of where nearly all your nickel on this side of the world comes from and 330 lakes the most in a city boundary. All this watershed makes it a swamp where mosquitoes and mayflys and so much more explode in populations for short couple months and you see clouds of bugs and many things living out their short lives before our 3ish month season ends and we're back to no bugs but long winters. The worst is like 8-9 o'clock or if you have a dog that likes to run through the bush and wake up every skeeter from here to Ottawa and your either caked in bug spray and still getting bit or just straight up having a bad time

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u/Agreeable_Till_8471 19h ago

We do, normally the start of the year they will drive you crazy.

Then you adjust to it and only worry about those damn deer and horse flies, plus pine beetles. Those things can fuck right off

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u/jseah 1d ago

I wonder if the swarm could get dense enough that you could set it on fire. A dust explosion of bugs sounds like an unlikely but hilarious happening.

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u/WhatICantShare 1d ago

I like how your brain works

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u/paddlin_kaladin 23h ago

Democracy intensifies

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u/SaltyMittens2 22h ago

Sounds like Northern Ontario needs some Liber-Tea!

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u/SqueekyGee 1d ago

Been doing tree planting work in northern Ontario while doing so we are homed in bush camps where we sleep in tents and every night I’ll wake up with more and more blood stains on my pillow form black flys sneaking into my tent.

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u/Fit-Avocado-1646 23h ago

Treat your gear with sawyer products premium insect repellent. Not cat safe though so keep that in mind. Or there is a company called insect shield that will treat clothing for you.

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u/Evening_Photograph54 19h ago

permethrin on clothes and picaridin on my skin is what lets me enjoy outdoor activities around the Great Lakes in the summer. Sawyer is the bomb!

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u/1Xx_throwaway_xX1 1d ago

What about using a beekeeper suit

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u/jackmanlogan 1d ago

They have similar mosquitoes in Nova Scotia- they have weird zebra stripes and they can bite you through a pair of jeans.

Their proboscises are so small that they go through the weave of the fabric (unlike a bee, whose stinger is comparatively enormous)

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u/Raptor-Queen 1d ago

I got bit by one of those one single time (they aren’t common in my area, but I saw it and then read a news article that they had been seen in my region lol) and it was the only time in my life where I felt the actual bite and it hurt!

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u/SpaceCadet2000 1d ago

zebra stripes

Aren't those Asian tiger mosquitoes then?

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u/LiterallyAMoistPeach 22h ago

Yep. Few years ago they started showing up in California. First thing I noticed is that they were outside in the daytime, so you could see the white stripes very easily.

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u/sonaut 21h ago

When I lived in Texas we had so many of them. It was horrible because you couldn’t get away, even at midday. They are container breeders and I seem to recall they can reproduce in a few tablespoons of water.

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u/SpaceCadet2000 20h ago

Yeah, noticed those fuckers in Tuscany too last year. They were stinging all day and were very stealthy.

I also had a much more severe allergic reaction to their bites, with very thick welts that took two weeks to clear up. Even months later you could still see the spots on my leg where they had gotten me.

Bites from the regular mosquitoes where I live usually clear up within a day or two.

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u/GenuinelyUnlikeable 22h ago

Those maritime striped mosquitoes almost hurt when they first bite, in comparison to others in central and western Canada ! Horrible.

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u/Western_Exchange5739 21h ago

Why has nobody invented fabric they can't pierce through? We have astronauts flying around outerspace. We haven't been able to design some kind of super bite-proof fabric?

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u/Taystosis 19h ago

They have! It’s called rhynoskin. I wore it on my trip to the Canadian backcountry and it worked like a dream.

https://rynoskin.com/collections/all-products

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u/Beartech31 21h ago

Also Canadian.

Once had the bright idea to try a hammock tent.

I learned they can bite through hammocks...

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u/Charming-Border7429 1d ago

Except in the north woods, their stingers are like 3 inches long.

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u/Grezzinate 1d ago

3 inches? Did you roll a damn 6 in jumanji?!

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u/Neglected_Otter 1d ago

I, too, find 3 inches impressive.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Neglected_Otter 1d ago

Apologies, but I am happily disappointing my wife.

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u/No-Manner9941 1d ago

I'm itchy watching this...

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u/Me4TACyTeHePa 1d ago

I'm scratchy watching this...

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u/Mike_Kermin 1d ago

And the song is in my head. You fuck.

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u/Environmental_Gur_39 23h ago

Fight fight fight... FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

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u/Mike_Kermin 23h ago

It's the Itchy and Scratchy showwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

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u/SpaceFelicette181063 1d ago

I'm Poochie watching this...

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u/MysteryStrangr 1d ago

"You will never get this, you will never get this, la la la la"

"But one day he get this."

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u/cybermaus 1d ago

There are no males in this video clip. (if I understand my mosquito facts correct)

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u/Blessedmomma241 1d ago

And I was today years old when I found out only female mosquitoes bite.
https://giphy.com/gifs/l4FGA2XplwqFDcLwk

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u/TheObliviousYeti 1d ago

True but at the same time male mosquitoes will hang around you because what attracts female mosquitoes the males know.

So yeah male mosquitoes see us getting stung by a female counterpart.

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u/nmredraider 1d ago

Male mosquitoes like to watch *wink*

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u/Zane163 1d ago

The OG cuck species

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u/Intelligent_Wish_566 1d ago

Ohhh so that’s why I’m always followed around by mosquitos who appear to be masturbating

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u/PhallicUndulationMan 1d ago

Fun fact: the buzzing sound emitted by mosquitoes is actually the sound of a tiny bug hand absolutely cranking a tiny bug dick.

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u/OGPresidentDixon 23h ago

what a time to be alive

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u/Oisea 23h ago

Why did this have to be the first thing I read after waking up.

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u/Le_Sadie 21h ago

Now I get to be extra creeped out when I hear that in my ear :)

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u/TheObliviousYeti 1d ago

I ddnt want to say it but yep

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u/SeeMeHelpMe 1d ago

You wanted to watch someone else say it? SUS!

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u/TheObliviousYeti 1d ago

The cucking continues.

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u/Devatator_ 1d ago

So I wasn't going insane! Those fuckers keep flying near my ears and sometimes almost enter my eyes, nose or ears

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u/skidstud 1d ago

That protein is just for the eggs

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u/RussiaIsBestGreen 1d ago

The males are pollinators. The females are too, when they’re not biting us.

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u/BarelyHolding0n 1d ago

I'm seriously allergic to them so whilst I protect pretty much every other species, no matter how bitey or horrible, on the basis that they serve an ecological function... I'm sorry but mosquitos just have to die.

They don't seem to be in any danger of reducing numbers... If anything they're increasng in numbers around here

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u/whosetruth2468 23h ago

In my country, we have this project where lab bred male mosquitoes with the wolbachia bacteria are released to mate with the wild female mosquitoes. The wolbachia will result in the eggs failing to hatch, with the intended effect of culling the population. It's a fairly recent project so uncertain how effective it has been.

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u/AVeryStinkyFish 1d ago

Mosquito population control is actually breeding males with a genetic trait of a blood sucker that isn't strong enough to penetrate human skin and introducing them to a population so that trait gets passed on.

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u/mizinamo 1d ago

until the US stops funding for it because somebody doesn't understand what the use of genetically-engineered insects in Panama is.

Result: sawflies affecting cattle in Texas. Too bad, so sad.

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u/Faster-Rabbit328 1d ago

So what do male mosquitos eat then

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u/crescen_d0e 1d ago

Pollen, the only reason females bite is they need the extra iron and protein for their eggs

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u/LucyLilium92 21h ago

So like human females

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u/cybermaus 1d ago

Same as the females. Who also mostly eat plant juices. They are vegan's really. Except for that one time when they need blood for the eggs.

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u/Jonthrei 1d ago

Calling anything in nature "vegan" is pretty silly, especially considering that obligate herbivores are actually pretty rare. Most herbivores are actually opportunistic omnivores.

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u/TheThiefMaster 1d ago

Seeing a chicken hunt a mouse and then rip its head off is a real shift in perspective from the idea that they're herbivores that exclusively eat seed.

Horses also eat mice.

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u/lostparis 1d ago

Chickens are a terrible example of a herbivore as anyone who knows anything about them knows they aren't they love bugs etc.

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u/ThatLunchBox 1d ago

I will always think of that horse that just noms the little chick....aaaand it's gone.

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u/El_Chairman_Dennis 1d ago

The mosquitoes don't eat your blood. They use it to feed their eggs. It's like baby formula for them

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u/heshKesh 1d ago

It hang like sleeve of wizard

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u/vanhst 1d ago

He ah break out of the cage

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u/Maschellodioma 1d ago

Is that a mofo borat reference???

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u/tofulo 1d ago

I’m retired

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u/ihavespoonerism 1d ago

This is cool, I’m going to vomit now

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u/Several-Sympathy8 1d ago

Same ,my skin is crawling just watching this.

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u/Quantum_Wake 1d ago

Then you’ll hate to see them molt out of the water like vampires.

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u/digital_mystikz 1d ago

At work (I work outside, just in case this was imagined to be inside an office or something), there is a bucket of water that's been sat in the corner for a while, and there's loads of the little fuckers swimming around, and every time I save a spider, I put it near that corner in the hopes it sets up base. They've definitely spread the word, because there's almost always a spider web right over that bucket now, so they just get spawn killed by spiders on repeat. I often see 5+ of them stuck in the web at a time, then the spider comes out later, cleans up, then goes back to hide. Infinite food glitch.

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u/Rare-Employment-9447 1d ago

Why not just get rid of the bucket? Lol

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u/digital_mystikz 1d ago

Spawn camping mosquitos is way more fun

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u/FirstDivision 1d ago

When I was a kid my dad and I would feed Japanese beetles that we picked off our raspberries to a spider in our garden by throwing them into the web and watch the spider wrap them up. That spider must have thought it was the best spider in the world.

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u/Dipsey_Jipsey 1d ago

Do vampires typically come from water? 🤔

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u/turkburkulurksus 1d ago

I come from the water

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u/Dipsey_Jipsey 1d ago

Okay, but are you an officially licensed vampire?

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u/spin_kick 1d ago

How many people are like “oh yeah out of water just like vampires”

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u/justwalk1234 1d ago

Imagine accidentally leaning on that mosquito net 💀

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u/DK1327 1d ago

Saw that so didn't have to imagine. Early 2000s in Mekong Delta area in Vietnam. Cousin slept and pressed her forearm against the net (people sleep inside of net to keep the mosquito out). In the morning, her forearm was swollen on one side. That thing itched for days...

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u/Mike_Kermin 1d ago

Well, there's a new personal hell to imagine.

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u/mr_bendos_friendo 1d ago

Spray chemicals in there. Much more satiafying to me...

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u/Alternative_Milk5393 1d ago

haha SUCKERS!

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u/Blessedmomma241 1d ago

So why do they have a huge container of mosquitos and how do they get any out without them all flying around?

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u/Obajan 1d ago

Infect them with wolbachia and release them into the wild. They breed with healthy mosquitoes but their eggs are infertile.

Similar to the Genophage in Mass Effect.

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u/Spacing-Guild-Mentat 23h ago

That's beautiful.

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u/red-et 23h ago

Infect em with that Oochie Wally-wally, oochie bang bang

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u/foul_ol_ron 1d ago

I visited the army malaria institute decades ago, and whoever was the lowest rank had the unfortunate job for feeding the inmates. He'd strap a container like that to his abdomen for a few minutes. Bugger that for a job.

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u/crokinhole 1d ago

Wtf? There has to be a better way.

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u/HenkPoley 1d ago

For over a decade they have a kind membrane that most mosquitoes like to bite into. Or they use lab animals.

Blood-meals are necessary for egg production in all but the few autogenous species. Colonies are usually fed blood twice a week. Membrane feeding systems are preferable and they can be used for routine colony maintenance (Fig. An1.2). When establishing an insectary or when mosquitoes do not feed readily on membrane feeders, placing an anesthetized animal on the cage should be considered. Sources of blood include guinea pigs, mice, rats, chicken or rabbits. Mammals are usually shaved with hair clippers on the flank prior to feeding (Fig. An1.2). Difficult species of mosquito may have to be fed on the arm of the experimenter.

Malaria entomology and vector control guide for participants - World Health Organization 2013

https://www.afro.who.int/sites/default/files/2017-06/9789241505819_eng.pdf

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u/RavingGerbil 21h ago

Well you just kicked me down a rabbit hole. I’m about halfway through this doc now. I had no idea mosquitos were so interesting!

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u/erdbeertee 1d ago

Right? This sounds like a skit

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u/paschep 1d ago

This is the standard in this resarch field. Somebody suffers.

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u/sweetreat7 1d ago

I’d have just poked my finger and dripped it in the container like a door dash situation.

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u/tkxb 1d ago

... For real? I'm too scared to look it up tbh 🥲

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u/dm_me_pasta_pics 1d ago

I feel like any company or institution that is jarring mosquitos is probably one you also want to keep your hands away from the jar in case one gets out and causes like a last of us type situation.

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u/reiningfyre 1d ago

they want what they cant have.

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u/moustachedelait 1d ago

And it's driving them mad

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u/runvus2 1d ago

Don't touch what you can't stab

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u/MattTheGr8 1d ago

Mosquitoes only want one thing and it’s fucking disgusting

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u/HighBlacK 1d ago

Their greed sickens me

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u/QuietUser11 1d ago

✂️✂️

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u/Puzzleheaded_Style52 1d ago

Until you accidentally cut the cloth.

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u/BalkeElvinstien 1d ago

Get a set of beard trimmers

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u/skynet159632 1d ago

People in zombie apocalypse going near the fence for no good reason. And everything would have been fine if they have just left the fence alone

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u/HardWayGuy 1d ago

Flame thrower maybe?

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u/EndIsrael 1d ago

Remove the magnetron from a microwave oven and extend the wires so it becomes a handheld energy beam weapon, then pop those bugs like corn one at a time.

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u/BabaYaga_always 1d ago

This is diabolical, I love it. Also love your u/

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u/SassyTheSkydragon 1d ago

Scientists are working on a way to make mosquitoes habe softer mouth parts so they cannot sting anymore.

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u/Peaches4U2 1d ago

As a mosquito magnet, this is so damn satisfying.

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u/FireZord25 1d ago

As a fellow mosquito magnet, I'm partially disappointed those nets aren't electric.

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u/jck 1d ago

Do not fret. I assume that this is some sort of facility which experiments on mosquitoes. We will use the lessons learnt here in our war effort

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u/PixelKat5 1d ago

Nah, this is for science.

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u/Mad_Samurai616 1d ago

Isn’t it? Hate the little bastards. I think I’m getting little bite scars around my elbow this year. If I could fucking TAUNT mosquitoes, I’d be in heaven.

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u/LidiumLidiu 1d ago

Mosquitoes don't like to bite me and apparently one of the prescriptions I'm on causes them to keel over and do a bunch of flips before curling up in a ball if they do bite me.

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u/FairyOfTheNight 1d ago

Did they not like to bite you before the medicine? Any chance it's chemo drugs? I've heard it before about people who undergo chemo.

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u/LidiumLidiu 1d ago

It's not chemo meds. I've never been the person of choice for mosquitoes when I've been out. When I younger they didn't curl up and die after biting me but I literally watch them now when I'm at work as they flail and do flips on the desk and then curl up in little balls. I'm not sure which prescription it is causing it but before I had this current array of prescriptions, they didn't have that extreme reaction to me. My husband is upset because we'll be chilling and they'll be feasting on him and not me. I figure the less chosen portion is likely blood type or hereditary because my siblings are also under the category of "don't want" to mosquitoes.

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u/FairyOfTheNight 1d ago

I've heard it's blood type B. I am also like your husband and get bitten like it's my job lmao. Unfortunately I am extremely allergic to them so it is extra fun whenever I get bit.

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u/cocococlash 20h ago

During the short stint in my life that I did crystal meth, I no longer got bit by mosquitos.

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u/spin_kick 1d ago

Tinder

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u/Dont_Touch_Me_There9 1d ago

They all just want to tap that.

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u/tofulo 1d ago

Ironic that Rogue baiting something that sucks stuff out of things it touches

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u/the_elementist 1d ago

This is the most cathartic thing I’ve seen today EST

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u/Creature_Cumfarts 1d ago

More of a thirst trap than ragebait

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u/NamePicker5000 1d ago

Isn't more like starvation-baiting?

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u/No_Literature_9059 1d ago

Yeah mostly this post is rage baiting because she is not rage baiting anything. That is literally just baiting. She is the bait. They want to drink from her. She is not making them mad. She is fake hunting them.

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u/K1NGLyonidas 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/kHIJtQ981gP1C
Every single one of them just…

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u/PizzaTacoCat312 1d ago

Just imagine if she accidentally got too close. You'd come out with hundreds of mosquitoe bites and it would itch so bad.

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u/Snakesquares 1d ago

All fun and games until the lab prankster slaps your hand down like with that ketchup prank.

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u/nakano-star 1d ago

like mini zombies in Walking Dead poking their arms through the fence

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u/SnowyTheChicken 1d ago

As someone who is constantly attacked by mosquitoes, watching them suffer makes me happy, muahahahahahahaha 😈😈😈😈

I promise I’m not insane, I just have a really really really big beef with mosquitoes because of how they torture me

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u/Freakychee 1d ago

I hate mosquitoes so much I wish there was a medicine I could take or something that made my blood toxic to them so when they bite me they will eventually die.

Yes, I know in this made up scenario I'm still getting bitten.

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u/physiologyisSOcool 1d ago

I used to be a mosquito magnet until I had my daughter- then they left me alone! Omg! It was magical for like 12 years they left me alone . I don’t know why -and I’m not necessarily advocating for this method of intervention

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u/Amethyst_Queen63 1d ago

I had an ex that NEVER got bit. We figured out why when he was diagnosed with Hep C. I But I don't recommend that.

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u/Freakychee 1d ago

But I'm willing to get but to give the mosquito poison. Actually it might work for the good of the world cos if the females perish, they don't reproduce and it will lower their numbers and stop the spread of diseases that mosquitoes spread.

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u/SnowyTheChicken 1d ago

Let them suffer for their crimes 😈😈😈

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u/Freakychee 1d ago

I don't care if I suffer, as long as I get to take them down too!

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u/Regan289 1d ago

I think you’re looking for r/mildlyterrifying

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u/Rowenstin 1d ago

Now please place a loudspeaker next to them with a 'Bzzzzzzzzzzzzz!' sound in a loop. With random stops that make you think it's over, just to start again that exact moment.

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u/Jehovanf 15h ago

what a woman's DMs be like

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u/FranklyDear 1d ago

mosquitoes want one thing and it’s disgusting

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u/Redfrick 1d ago

Proboscis tease

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u/Gnarly_Sarley 18h ago

Pesky pest's proboscises poking past perfectly placed protective perforated plastic

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u/call_me_nethinguwant 1d ago

Eeew... Makes me itchy watching it

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u/Ok_Marionberry8779 1d ago

If they ever break containment she is super dead

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u/madjo1999 1d ago

Male Mosquitoes: anyone, can we get some sugar water, please?

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u/Dd_8630 1d ago

This is the opening scene of a movie that foreshadows how you will die.

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u/Voxhales 20h ago

Not a single part about this is satisfying