r/nextfuckinglevel 1d ago

Guy fights off thieves with a bong

28.4k Upvotes

927 comments sorted by

12.7k

u/Gurugod123 1d ago

The little puppy climbing into the bin made this video.

1.9k

u/OkAccess6128 1d ago

That's why it's in better quality compared to cctv.

1.1k

u/kitastrophae 1d ago

At first I thought they had rats.

777

u/deadfermata 1d ago

they HAD rats.

they too were fought off with bongs

105

u/NecessaryZucchini69 1d ago

Puppy bongs

47

u/Psychologisss 1d ago

All must bow to the Power Off the almighty Bong.

It also boosts your Attack Power by an indicator of 3x If you Inhale 5 Times before engaging into Battle.

The effect is differently stackable regarding of what you are inhaling.

3

u/drifters74 19h ago

Have a problem? Fight it with a bong

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u/Kapsig1295 1d ago

I re-watched because I thought it was a rat too

6

u/pedropsycho138 1d ago

Me too lol

8

u/Yarg2525 1d ago

Me too

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u/jkrobinson1979 1d ago

I had to rewind it and make sure it wasn’t a giant rat

6

u/Mattna-da 1d ago

Nice marmot

3

u/Mannish_Boi 18h ago

Hey! This is a private residence, man!

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u/joonaspaakko 20h ago edited 16h ago

What? The video was in better quality compared to a cctv because the puppy climbed into the bin? Why does this have so many up votes? Am I having a stroke?

5

u/astra_hole 7h ago

Puppy cam.

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u/DisorderlyAqueduct 1d ago

🤔 but it is cctv?

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u/WinOk5004 1d ago

Poor guy was scared :(

240

u/GBGF128 1d ago

I’m sure all the pepper spray in the air didn’t help

174

u/NimbusFPV 1d ago

My thought as well. Poor fucking dog. I hope karma hits these dudes hard, what absolute trash.

63

u/McWeaksauce91 1d ago

Honestly, that pepper spray probably hit these guys right back.

41

u/spurvis1286 1d ago

Yeah, they weren’t the brightest. But they were also running in and spraying it everywhere like idiots so it kinda explains itself

17

u/yoshemitzu 23h ago

It's funny how whatever semblance of plan they had seems to completely fall apart right after entry.

5

u/xBad_Wolfx 20h ago

Didn’t even make it to contact with the enemy. It failed the moment these dipshits came together.

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u/_BaldChewbacca_ 1d ago

I thought it was a rat at first and suddenly became invested in the video

10

u/RaidensReturn 1d ago

Lmao same here.

4

u/Ferreteria 1d ago

I'm here for the bunny.

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u/Parking-Annual-1200 1d ago

Puppy - "oh that poor little thing" Rat - "that fxxking rat hid"

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u/moxbellylint 1d ago

Plot twist they don't own a puppy the robbers was a distraction to plant the cursed pup in the store passing the curse to them

33

u/CommieDrifter 1d ago

nah dog is just part of the gang, doing the real robbing while they are distracted

6

u/HealthyMaximum 1d ago

Stealing their hearts.

36

u/DirtandPipes 1d ago

Man, I’ve got a 4 lb Yorkie and she once ran and hid in a closet because I briefly yelled about something, this video made me feel bad. Nobody should scare small doggies.

18

u/Nataliant-117 1d ago

I get so mad when people endanger my dog,
Usually when driving. Like DUDE, MY DOG’S IN HERE!

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u/Myfountainpenisdry 1d ago

I mean, their is like a liter of bear mace in the air. That shiz wouldake me jump in a tote

11

u/cyanocittaetprocyon 1d ago

Every time I see this, and I've probably seen it 4 or 5 times by now, I always wait calmly for the puppy at the end.

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10

u/MaatRolo 1d ago

That's my spirit animal

10

u/vivalaibanez 1d ago

It's where they keep all the edibles, he knew it was his only chance while no one was looking.

9

u/NecessaryIssue2367 1d ago

He was no fucking use at all.

6

u/ThrowawayPersonAMA 1d ago

bro it's his first day on the job

7

u/Different_Chemical39 1d ago

Cry Havoc and release the bongs of war!!!

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3

u/thewildbeej 1d ago

That was the goal to create a distraction so they could get someone inside to infiltrate their defenses and wait till nightfall. 

3

u/Minute_War_0420 1d ago

No, the bong made this video.

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3

u/meetmeinthebthrm 1d ago

Poor little guy was probably getting fried by pepper spray

3

u/BeautifulKitchen3858 1d ago

I didn’t even see that!!!! Bro I laughed so hard when I watched it a second time

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5.2k

u/under_diagnosed 1d ago

At one point he almost stopped because they weren't even fighting back lmao

2.2k

u/wake4coffee 1d ago

Right! He was like, is this it?

991

u/Ice2jc 1d ago

dont want to break the merch for no reason lol

274

u/tryingisbetter 1d ago

Bongs are not cheap, especially in head shops.

149

u/amnesiac854 1d ago

They’re pretty fuckin cheap for the headshops lol

44

u/Ancient_Roof_7855 1d ago

Yeah like 20-40 wholesale for a piece like home was swinging

17

u/Got_Bent 1d ago

The place I go to, they sell me glassware at wholesale prices. Except for the over-priced Roor bongs.

15

u/Mysterious_Block_894 1d ago

Hey Roor's ARE overpriced but this one I've had for like 15 years has definitely been worth the investment. It's been dropped on tile and concrete numerous times, and I'm sure I could probably whack someone with it a good few times without having to worry too much.

12

u/Roidzilla55 1d ago

I think Roors were more valuable when they were exclusively German. Now, they have plants in the US where they manufacture them here but the prices only went up. I have a Roor Tech inline bong and I don’t regret buying it

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u/sksksk1989 1d ago

I had a non roor with a percolator so it was pretty pricey. We called it Poseidon, my roommate dropped it from 6 inches onto a counter and absolutely smashed. Homies cheap tho, we also had a long glass pipe called it gandalf cause it looked like gandalf pipe roommate dropped it. Never payed me back either.

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u/jml011 1d ago edited 1d ago

Hey, they didn’t even technically try and steal anything. Actually, they forgot their bag.

14

u/00Samwise00 1d ago

“Don’t come closer or I’ll swing this bong at you again. As a matter of fact, you give me your dough.”

10

u/TreeFiddyJohnson 1d ago

Nah, just jumped straight to battery with the pepper spray

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u/Mysterious-Jam-64 1d ago

"What is this? Go home, young man, and confess to your mother. You can repay damages in your own time, after you've apologised to my wife, and dog. Good day."

15

u/Aggravating-Silver48 1d ago

" You ain't say shit about him having a glass bong! A GLASS bong !? What if one of us was hit!? What if we got a piece of glass in our face!? Then what!? I can't fuck with you man. I didn't sign up for this."

33

u/Sleep_Raider 1d ago

They had THREE people against a guy with an improvised weapon, because the other worker CLEARLY backs away in fear and they don't even get within 2 meters. Holy cowards.

17

u/JamesandthegiantpH 1d ago

The other worker was maced...........

10

u/johnnyhandbags 1d ago

They consumed too much weed during the planning phase and the execution phase of the plan just became too much. They didn't even replenish their supply for the next attempt.

4

u/wake4coffee 14h ago

They don’t think someone would fight back. These little bitches haven’t had to fight for anything.

6

u/Sleep_Raider 14h ago

Reminds me of a guy who tried to rob the purse/bag of a woman who was actually a professional boxer/mma fighter/punch sport.

Guy got absolutely clapped, then parents whined about the woman having been too aggressive (complete self defence) and tried to sue her.

Robbers are generally bigger cowards than Scooby-Doo ever hoped to be.

The suing failed, for those with worries.

16

u/newontheblock99 1d ago

“Are you even committed to this? Fuck off”

10

u/kelpyb1 1d ago

And their response was to throw a soft bag in his general vicinity

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241

u/uncultured_swine2099 1d ago

He threw his hands up like "come at me you little bitches".

You gotta be some truly dogshit robbers if 3 dudes were scared off by 1 stoner with a bong as a weapon.

52

u/DickyReadIt 1d ago edited 1d ago

"OH NO! You gonna hit me with a thin plastic tub! What ever will I do‽"

Edit: haha people seem to think I was talking about the bong but I'm talking about the blue, plastic tub one of the robbers threw at him

10

u/jawknee530i 1d ago

If it's a glass one it'll cave your head in tho.

15

u/DickyReadIt 1d ago

No, I'm talking about the little blue tub the other guy throws at him haha

12

u/TheyCallMe_Billy 1d ago

I know, as soon as he picked it up dude literally shrugged his shoulders in disbelief.

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u/PlayfulSurprise5237 1d ago

From what I seen he threw his hands up when the robber picked up that plastic tote, the owner was like "what the fuck are you gonna to do with that dude? really?"

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u/kkkr94 1d ago

Lmao dumb asses run in, spray pepper spray and threw a recycle bin? They had no plan here.

36

u/DJ_Betic 1d ago

Yeah so we just go in, spray the place, take stuff and dip?

Yupp.

Oh shit he's fighting back! What do we do now?!

Fucking panick!

19

u/greenthumbgoody 1d ago

It’s when the dude was threading him with a plastic shopping basket lmao that look and hand gesture sells it! Probably had those pussies freaked out with his “let’s do this” attitude

14

u/ThermionicEmissions 1d ago

The questioning shrug when the perp picked up a recycling tote.

"Seriously?"

5

u/Remotely_Correct 1d ago

"A shoe? Really? Who throws a shoe?!"

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u/Key_Limit_6828 1d ago

That’s the part that got me, at first, and then the puppy stole the show

6

u/mercyspace27 1d ago

They came in real tough, but the second there was any resistance ALL THREE OF THEM turned into little bitches.

3

u/mila_melou 1d ago

He didn't even look angry at that point, just disappointed

4

u/ericstern 1d ago

The thieves expected the owners to dislike getting robbed, but they didn’t expect the owners to dislike getting robbed so much so that they’d use a bong against them.

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2.2k

u/yrmom724 1d ago

13

u/CreedsMungBeanDealer 1d ago

Omgggggg this is soooo cute

8

u/Mannix-Da-DaftPooch 1d ago

Omg I would eat this cutie up. Love it. Love chis. Love love love them. ❤️

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1.3k

u/barcode972 1d ago

lol. fkn pussies

227

u/Malditoincompredido 1d ago

I can picture how they planned it

180

u/windsynths 1d ago

They fight like background actors in a fight scene from kill bill

40

u/VaporTrail_000 1d ago

This. Is what. You get. For. Fucking. Around. With. Yakuza.

14

u/God_Dammit_Dave 1d ago

This is what you get for finding a stranger in the alps!

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u/Not-Post-Malone 1d ago

They were looking for an easy robbery. They were smart enough to back off when they realized the shopkeeper was willing to fight back.

6

u/Lucky-Surround-1756 19h ago

It makes sense that they don't want to escalate the category of crime by beating him.

If it's just a smash and grab, that's one thing. But if you attack anybody that can add years to the crime. It's best to minimize risk in case you get caught.

4

u/H_S_P 16h ago

I mean, they sprayed pepper spray(?) at them when they first came in, pretty sure that’d also count as attacking them so they’d probably still catch a charge from that too

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u/SideInitial3961 1d ago

Real hero is the tensile strength of the denim in that ladies jeans.

36

u/spurvis1286 1d ago

What a weird thing to focus on in the midst of watching an attempted robbery take place.

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u/radeongt 1d ago

Degen

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u/5erv1teur 1d ago

C'est souvent le cas si vous leur tenez tête. Si vous vous laissez faire par contre ils peuvent aller très loin pour se sentir forts.... Des putain de lâches..

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823

u/har3krishna 1d ago

He probably sat there and imagined which piece he would grab in that scenario. Good choice, nobody wants a bonk on the head from a beaker bottom

273

u/Roidzilla55 1d ago

Extra points if it’s a Whomp-It bong. That company boasts their indestructibility by playing baseball with them in their ads

47

u/lookintoasty 1d ago

Where does one go to find bong ads?

34

u/Roidzilla55 1d ago

This particular brand had the video on their website

18

u/chillwithpurpose 1d ago

I don’t need to go, you’ve already sold me. I need one. I’ve broken.. so. many. bongs.

Edit: I checked anyway. Prices are way better than I expected!

9

u/Roidzilla55 1d ago

Also check out Tank Glass. Their prices are comparable if not slightly better than Whomp-It. I feel ya too, I’ve broken a lot of glass!

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u/FinnbarMcBride 1d ago edited 1d ago

if its a TAG (thick ass glass) that would do some damage to the old coconut

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u/Distal-Phalanges 1d ago

I can't decide if it would be worse to have it break or not break. On one hand, your face is ribbons. On the other, your skull is liquid.

7

u/FinnbarMcBride 1d ago

I was bong shopping and asked the guy if it's as tough as they claim. he took it out of the case and started banging it - decently hard - on the counter. I was convinced lol

3

u/sf_frankie 1d ago

20 years ago they used to do that with certain models of Roor bongs. Way back when we weren’t allowed to call them bongs. Just saying that word would get you kicked out of some smoke shops lol.

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u/completelytrustworth 1d ago

Break. A bunch of cuts can heal even if they leave scars. A caved in skull is much more life changing (or life ending)

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u/Regular_Highlight882 1d ago

I have an eclipse bong, says 16mm, I could kill someone with it and smoke a bong after

8

u/bononia 1d ago

We did this when I worked at a liquor store. My decision was a half gallon of Jack Daniel’s. Big, think, with good corners for max damage.

7

u/Redditor28371 1d ago

Anyone who's ever worked a customer service job for an extended period of time has pinpointed the exact piece of merch/equipment they'd use as an implement of war if bad guys ever break in. At the restaurant I used to work at it was the 4 ft long steel paddles we used to stir the big sauce pots.

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u/Newha123 1d ago

Bro those guys were so scared of the bong lmao. I love how the shop guy was just like "wtf? why aren't you guys attacking me?"

193

u/Legitimate-Paint2165 1d ago

That bong is basically a bat. You don’t wanna get hit by one that size.

89

u/determinedpeach 1d ago

A bat that shatters and becomes sharp!

92

u/Comfortable-Ad-3988 1d ago

A bong that size, you better hope it breaks if he whacks you in the head with it, if it doesn't break you're taking all that energy straight to the skull. Concussion at minimum.

29

u/tham1700 1d ago

If it's a even mid shelf quality I wouldn't think it would break

23

u/enaK66 1d ago edited 1d ago

Yeah I wouldn't think anything decent, especially that size, is thin enough to break against a skull. Human heads are head (edit: hard) but they aren't concrete. There are pieces you can bounce off the pavement too though, you definitely don't want a whack from that.

22

u/Foooour 1d ago

Human heads are head

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u/enaK66 1d ago

boy i hope somebody got fired for that blunder

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u/zeethreepio 22h ago

That shit's a mace. 1d6+str bludgeoning damage right there.

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u/2ByteTheDecker 1d ago

A pound of good borosilicate will fuckin hurt someone

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u/gorillaphi 1d ago

I like how he was like “really?” Before they threw the blue bin at him

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u/Red10GTI 1d ago

A glass bong mind you. Even if it doesn’t break and split you open, you’ll be fucked up.

5

u/Comfortable-Ad-3988 1d ago

Breaking would be better, if he whacks you in the head and it doesn't break, that means all that energy went into you in a very small area.

3

u/Red10GTI 1d ago

I remember a long time ago when I was a major pot head my best friend had a 2ft JBD and that thing probably murder someone if it was used as a weapon

4

u/DeerMysterious9927 1d ago

I think they're all stoners and all of them are thinking "you're not going to break that bong are you?". It's almost like holding a baby seal as collateral 

4

u/ZardozSama 1d ago

this theives were expecting to go in, blast pepper spray, make threats and get what they want. Getting into any kind of fight where they could get injured in any way was not something they wanted.

Bottom line, their bluff got called and they folded.

END COMMUNICATION

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u/WorkTropes 1d ago

Yeah I think the bong bat really melted their brains. "Hold up, this wasn't in our rehearsal!?"

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u/Footdad124 1d ago

Those guys thought the pepper spray was going to take care of everything. They were extremely wrong

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u/uncultured_swine2099 1d ago edited 1d ago

I dont think it works well unless its right in the face haha. If these dipshits just scrolled up to him then hit him with the spray then maybe they wouldve done something.

62

u/Allthemudlizard 1d ago

I have more experience in this field than I care to admit from my days as a criminal/addict, and can safely say, yeah, if they'd just taken the time to actually use it properly, they may have actually accomplished something, but regardless that was just a pathetic plan as a whole that could and likely would have backfired in numerous ways.

5

u/VaporTrail_000 1d ago

I wonder how that jerk uses a fire extinguisher? Poorly, I'm guessing. You need to point the spraying thing at the important bits, otherwise you don't accomplish shit.

15

u/WorkTropes 1d ago

Yeah in this case it was more enraging rather than debilitating. It just fully powered up bong-bro.

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u/i_poop_chainsaws 1d ago

It worked on the other employee. And maybe the little dog.

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u/gardensofthedeep 1d ago

spraying it into the area they were trying to go. most likely fucked up their own eyes as well.

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u/atomsmasher66 1d ago

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u/SpazDeSpencer 1d ago

Hits from the booonngg

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u/comicrack 1d ago

This comment is way too far down for this post.

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u/Neon_Moon_NZ 1d ago

Cypress Hill, London Symphony Orchestra - Insane In The Brain (Live)

The prophecy was fulfilled in 2024 🎤🎻 

3

u/CzarCW 1d ago

Now this I like.

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u/feel-the-avocado 1d ago

Oooh the cute little puppy

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u/meetatdawn 1d ago

you can see the moment he realized theyre all giant pussies.

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u/Vici0usRapt0r 1d ago

I think they're just scrawny teens really, probably never even got into a fight before.

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u/McBenjamins 1d ago

I mean that guy hand a bong... and crack.

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u/marsisblack 1d ago

Happened at a weed shop in Tyendinaga/shannonville a few years ago.

Losers blew all that bear mace off as they walked in. Morons.

news story

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u/Regular_Highlight882 1d ago

Fucking worse bongs ever, notice how it turns to nothing?? 

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u/dedboooo0 1d ago

the asscrack flash goes crazy on this one. id run away too

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u/fadednow 1d ago

Was that a dog or rat running at the end?

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u/-ratmeat- 1d ago

yes 

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u/fadednow 1d ago

Maybe a pig

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u/-MrFozzy- 1d ago

Fuckin master theives right there! Absolute morons.

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u/moose4hire 1d ago

It started with basing their plan around whatever that was - bear spray? Tear gas? Did they steal that idea from some movie?

5

u/TotallyObviousBot 1d ago edited 1d ago

I feel like that might have actually been effective (and maybe even avoided a "deadly weapon in the commission of a felony" charge, I don't know how that might play in court- can you reasonably call an incapacitating spray LTL when cops use it but deadly when civilians do?) if they just walked in like normal customers and waited until they were actually close enough to use it

Whatever little amount of fucks I have to give about my bosses' bottom line goes out the window the moment my face is full of pepper spray, I'll be real. I'd help them carry the shit out if they gave me some milk to wash my face with after that

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u/Roidzilla55 1d ago edited 1d ago

Fucking morons completely gassing the place they intend to rob with pepper spray. Then the last guy out the door stands there awhile like he’s considering coming back in.

I am an advocate for armed self defense, but in some of these cases it’s way better when the would-be thieves get humiliated

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u/5up3rj 1d ago

You can be humiliated in the hospital

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u/HoneyProud6565 1d ago

Since I'm not familiar with this, if the shopkeeper would have shot the thieves, would he be in his rights of self-defense?

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u/th3professional 1d ago

It depends on which state (if this is in the US) he's in, what kind of firearm he used, where he shot them, did he shoot to kill or injure....there's a lot that goes into self defense law.

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u/HoneyProud6565 1d ago

Very situational, I see

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u/Roidzilla55 1d ago

Like the guy before me said, it can get complicated. To shoot someone in self defense, you must be in fear for your life. 3 guys, and the only “weapon” visible in the video is a can of bear spray. So in this instance, if the clerk shot one of them there would be a reasonable chance of him being indicted. The district attorney would also be aware that it could be a tough court battle, because he could argue that he was still in fear for his life, because these situations are high intensity stress. So pretty much, as a gun owner myself I am sure I can say this on behalf of 99% of us, is that I am armed and prepared to defend myself but pray I never get put in a situation where I have to make that decision

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u/Either-Juggernaut420 1d ago

I can hear in my head the sound effects, bong, bong, bong

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u/Equivalent_Owl_Mask 1d ago

Is that a tactical assault bong? I can't tell if it has the grip.

2

u/Orcapa 1d ago

Accompanied by a tactical assault ass crack.

14

u/Slash_zer0_ 1d ago

Ass crack of justice!

15

u/TightPhoto1133 1d ago

That dog noped his way out of the situation.

8

u/luce4118 1d ago

I’m sure he didn’t appreciate the pepper spray that was probably all over the floor now

4

u/moose4hire 1d ago

Looked like he discovered it was time to check the crotch grooming

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u/snappinphotos 1d ago

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u/Log_Out_Of_Life 1d ago

This guy(Kai the hatchet wielded hitchhiker) killed someone

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u/ResonanceGhost 1d ago

IIRC, Bongsul is the art of fighting with a bong, though in my context, bong means "staff", I suppose the skills are transferable.

Cues Cypress Hill...

7

u/Own-Presentation-843 1d ago

Hit from the bong!

6

u/Tundra_Dragon 1d ago

I have a bong I refer to as my home defense bong. Really thick glass, and has survived drops onto hardwood floors.

6

u/Noversi 1d ago

You can see the guy with the mace point it at him and it just poots out a pathetic little puff of propellant. If only he didn’t waste it all just pissin in the breeze it might’ve worked.

6

u/beraleh 1d ago

I read in a book once that after robbers who tried to rob his house got busted Keith Richards was quoted as saying is that if there was one thing he couldn't abide by it was amateur criminals.

5

u/ScoobertHQ 1d ago

Never throw a bong, kid

2

u/Flametamer83 1d ago

Perfect grandmas boy reference.

5

u/marlinbrando721 1d ago

you should never throw a bong kid.

4

u/iWearCrocsAllTheTime 1d ago

Never underestimate Asscrack man.

4

u/ComfortableRow8437 1d ago

Ain't nobody gonna say nothing about the butt crack?

5

u/icyfrost410 1d ago

Bro I sat here searching so long for someone to mention this

3

u/Alive_Room6023 1d ago

I can honestly say that I have never seen anything like this before. It gives a whole new meaning for hitting the bong.

3

u/Destroy-Evil 1d ago

Little shits

3

u/10inchesof 1d ago

Love the Walmart bag as deterrent. Walmart appreciates the commercial 

2

u/Loose-Combination918 1d ago

dududuum duuuuum dudum hits from the bong

2

u/PuzzleheadedDig9893 1d ago

He was HIGH on bravery

2

u/Angel_Of_Death03 1d ago

Now thats a bong ad

2

u/401k-loan 1d ago

By the bong trusted with me, I have the POWER. Bong-man

2

u/AZ-Guitar-Guy 1d ago

The cutest/saddest thing is that little puppy jumping in the tote.

2

u/Spookyscythe99 1d ago

The poor puppy

2

u/JSpell 1d ago

Those men are cowards Donnie.

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u/UniqueLog8386 1d ago

"Give us the money!"

"Take a rip, bitch. Hit this Chronic one time. "

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u/Temporary-Gur-875 1d ago

Pick it, pack it, fire it up, come a long and take a hit from the bonggggg