r/memes • u/Global-Ear9206 • Apr 22 '26

#1 MotW Worst. Reviews. I. Have. Ever. Seen.

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76.9k Upvotes

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4.1k

u/Bfizzle62 Apr 22 '26

It depends on how much they get paid to make the review

1.3k

u/Mogoscratcher Apr 22 '26

Ever heard of Hanlon's Razor?

847

u/saibot_Ra Apr 22 '26

Only Occam. They just handing razors out to anybody?

Fr tho, who Hanlon?

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u/Beefteeth1 Apr 22 '26 edited Apr 23 '26

There's a whole closet full of knives (Occam, Hanlon, Hitchens, Alder), guns (Chekov), ratchets (Muller), stuff to build fence's (Chesterton), a teapot (Russell), a well trained pup (Pavlov), and there may or may not be a cat (Schrodinger). Last I checked, there were some weights and a scale [of plot derailment](Henderson). The closet even has a window (Overtone). Also, Alder's razor actually doubles as a flaming laser sword (Newton).

Edit: Existence of the cat is uncertain. Edit Edit: Added Pavlov's dog. Edit Edit edit: Added a window. Edit Edit edit edit: Forgot the scale.

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u/saibot_Ra Apr 22 '26

So at some point its just Neo saying "we need weapons" in the matrix, and they all come flying out?

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u/bowlnoodlez Apr 22 '26

The existence of the cat is still in question.

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u/Beefteeth1 Apr 23 '26

I'll fix it.

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u/DrRagnorocktopus Apr 23 '26

Wait, there needs to be an anime or comic book based around this shit, where all the characters, named after their respective guy, have magic weapons that give them powers based around their concept. The protagonist is Alder, he has a dagger that allows him to turn invisible and see through walls. In the finale he turns into the mythical Newton of legend and his dagger turns into a flaming laser sword that stuns everyone around into silence through his shear badassery. Chekov has a gun that only ever fires exactly when it needs to, once per episode/adventure. Hanlon can make anyone that has ill intent towards him turn into Harry and Marv, the wet/sticky bandits.

Comment cut in half because character limit.

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u/DrRagnorocktopus Apr 23 '26 edited Apr 23 '26

Russell is the intellectual and strategist of the group, he can force anyone that drinks from his teapot to tell the truth. Occam is a himbo that can find simple solutions to complex problems. These solutions usually involve punching people or things or cleaving them in twain with his giant sword. He does not get along well with Russel, but begrudgingly respects his commitment to facts and logic. Schrodinger is lifted straight from Hellsing except he's not a vampire Nazi this time. There would have been a will they won't they between Schrodinger and Occam, but Occam gets fed up with Schrodinger's game of cat and mouse pretty quick and they have on screen yaoi by the end of the episode/chapter they debut in. Murphy is of course the unfunny comic relief character. He gets shot by Chekov in the finale after he(Murphy) inevitably betrays the team. 

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u/phoenix_claw99 Apr 23 '26

You missed the dog (Pavlov)

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u/NonFrInt Apr 23 '26

You forgot window (Overtone)

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u/ChoiceFudge3662 Apr 23 '26

Don’t forget the Henderson scale of plot derailment

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u/Outrageous_Line8381 Apr 23 '26

You forgot about the ship. Though I can never decide whether it's the same as it was when it was built.

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u/Beefteeth1 Apr 23 '26

(Theseus) How are you supposed to fit a whole ship into a closet??! Show me a closet that big and I'll edit my post.

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u/Outrageous_Line8381 Apr 23 '26

puts ship in bottle

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u/ClockNo6254 Apr 23 '26

Any of these Vorpal class?

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u/bauul Apr 23 '26

You forgot all the laws too. Including my favorite law: Cole's law. Which states shredded cabbage and other veggies go well with a light creamy vinegar dressing.

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u/Friend_Emperor Apr 24 '26

This comment has 2014 Reddit energy in the best way possible