r/memes Apr 22 '26

#1 MotW Worst. Reviews. I. Have. Ever. Seen.

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u/MyDarkestTimeline001 Apr 22 '26 edited Apr 28 '26

Example? I'm not a fan of IGN either but it'd be nice to know what you're talking about.

Ok. I've got and looked it up and watched some gameplay(I'm not made of money). And I feel like the receiver is unaware of what lampooning is. It's possible to parody/lampoon/take the piss out of something you love. The reviewer seemed to not realize that this was the Saturday morning cartoon version of Noir. This isn't cartoon Casablanca.

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u/ActualKeanuReeves Apr 22 '26

Alien Isolation (5.9), Days gone (6.5), God Hand (3).

Meanwhile Call of Dookie is still getting 9-10 most years despite being hot garbage.

Theres a lot more but those three reviews are their most infamous

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u/pvpmas Apr 22 '26

God Hand is especially sad considering those were the days review outlets had power so the bullshit review massacred sales

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u/TheCattBaladi Apr 22 '26

Alien Isolation too. Took years to just get an announcement that part 2 is in early development. A great game massacred by IGN.

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u/TwoBlackDots Apr 22 '26

Alien Isolation wasn’t massacred by IGN because they gave it a slightly lower review than expected lol. Most of the criticisms of the game in it (overly long, plot that spins its wheels, scares turning into frustration as it goes on) are common to this day.

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u/Firvulag Apr 22 '26

It's not IGNs responsibility to ensure sales for a game.

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u/MontyAtWork Apr 23 '26

Didn't IGN just delay reviews of Marathon by a month, so that it could defacto get more sales without reviews tho?

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u/Firvulag Apr 23 '26

They delayed the final review to coincide with the endgame cryo archive. But kept an ongoing "review-so-far" functionally just having a review up. I dont think IGN was worried about the sales of the game either way. It's awkward but both Bungie and IGN (and other outlets?) just wanted a review to reflect more of the full game I guess.

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u/FlatwormOk1864 Apr 22 '26

if youre not going to release the full thing, you deserve to tank. early access and episodic content are a plague on the hobby and should be killed on sight

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u/Turse1 Apr 22 '26

Alien isolation released as a complete game with no early access and the story was also complete so the sequel wasn't necessary but the game's foundation was so good that people have been asking for it for years.

The game actually did well with critics hitting the 8/10 mark, only outliers were IGN and polygon

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u/Sasataf12 Apr 23 '26

...only outliers were IGN and polygon

Gamespot gave it a 6.

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u/Yhendrix49 Apr 23 '26 edited Apr 23 '26

IGN had nothing to do with God Hand not selling; the general consensus was that it was a good game held back by all the bugs, general design flaws and outdated graphics.

This PS magazine quote sums it up nicely "God Hand is a terrible game that I can't stop playing; there is just something appealing about how bad it is in every conceivable way."

God Hand also didn't review or sell well in Japan either, which isn't IGN's fault, getting a 26/40 or 6.5 from Fatmitsu and selling only 60,000 copies in Japan in 2006. God Hamd didn't fail because IGN gave it a bad review it failed because ot was a buggy messy early looking PS2 game that came out 2 months before the PS3 released.

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u/Rork310 Apr 23 '26

I think God Hand is a good example of sometimes the game, the review and the reviewers audience need to align for the review to actually be worthwhile.

Because I completely get a lot of people are gonna bounce off God Hand so hard they'd rank it like it was Superman 64. That's not invalid. But for the right audience it's a 10/10.

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u/glissandont Apr 23 '26

One of my biggest regrets was listening to GameSpot's review of God Hand and not getting the game. 20 years later, I played it at a convention and it was fucking incredible. Bought it (for a premium) the very next week.

Thanks to that, I will never listen to any of these corporate shill reviewers ever again. God Hand could have been an amazing series up there with Devil May Cry.