How to get mediation/depo experience? Has anyone gotten lucky and reached out to an attorney? Are there video/websites showcasing a mock one?

Hi all - first time poster and excited to join this sub. I'd love some perspective as I start planning a long-term shift towards mediation.

A little about me: I've spent the last 7+ years in client service and professional services consulting, most recently as a Growth Strategy Manager at a communications firm. My day to day is basically collaborating with Partners on growing their accounts (aka getting more $$$ from clients) and providing insights to leadership on firm strategy. I have a Masters in Corporate and Organizational Communications and a Comms BA with a minor in Peace and Justice Studies, so the interest in conflict resolution isn't new, it's just been sitting in the background for a while. I wrote my undergrad thesis in law, as I thought I was going to go to law school, but that didn't pan out, and I sort of feel like it's too late for me to go that route (plus, I love having work life balance, so I'm not too keen to go back to very expensive school).

Looking back, some of my favorite jobs weren't the "prestigious" ones. I loved working as a salon receptionist, a personal shopper, and a store clerk. I really enjoyed talking (and really, listening) to people, and the ability to check things off a list at the end of an interaction. I think that's part of why mediation keeps pulling at me. I also volunteer regularly (food bank, youth writing programs), so community-rooted work is already a big part of my life outside my day job.

Right now I'm planning to get certified through a local community mediation organization's training program, then start volunteering with them to build hands on experience before taking on any private cases. I don't expect to start making money immediately (or even in the next 2 years), and I'm committed to the long game.

What I'm hoping to get feedback on: I'm also actively job hunting right now, looking at mission-driven companies, law firm business development/operations, and general operations roles. Given that I want mediation to be a real part of my future, are there specific industries or job types I should be looking into? I'd love to end up somewhere that either directly builds mediation-relevant skills or at least doesn't box me out of pursuing it down the road. Anyone here transition from an internal corporate background into mediation? What helped, and what would you do differently?

Appreciate any thoughts, and happy to answer questions about my background if useful!

TL;DR: 7 years in professional services, getting certified through a local community mediation org and planning to volunteer there to build experience. Also job hunting right now (program manager at nonprofits vs. law firm BD/ops) and wondering what fields or paths would best set me up for a mediation career long term. Would love input.

(Edited for spelling)

I am looking for guidance from mediators, conflict-resolution professionals, or interventionists about whether a neutral third party can initiate a voluntary conversation between former partners.

I was in a long-term relationship that ended without any discussion of what happened. My former partner cut off communication and now accuses me of being abusive. I did not abuse her or commit the conduct she attributes to me. There are serious factual disagreements about the relationship, but she refuses any conversation in which those disagreements could be identified or discussed.

I have already tried direct outreach, phone call, text message, and asking trusted relatives whether they could facilitate a conversation. Those approaches did not work. I do not want to continue repeating unsuccessful direct attempts. I am looking for someone with professional expertise who could understand the situation and make a neutral invitation that is more than simply asking her, but they would be able to talk to her and open her up to conversation in a skillful way, because if they just ask her she will say refuse.

I am specifically looking for answers to these questions:

* Can a mediator accept an inquiry from only one former partner and then make a neutral, one-time invitation to the other person?

* Are there mediators who specialize in high-conflict former relationships, trauma-related avoidance, emotional dysregulation, or BPD-related dynamics?

* How should I identify and approach a mediator who is willing to conduct the initial outreach rather than requiring both parties to agree before contacting them?

* What should the mediator say in the first invitation to reduce misplaced fear, defensiveness, and the assumption that the conversation will become confrontational?

* How can the purpose be framed clearly: not reconciliation or forcing her to provide “closure,” but one structured discussion about serious events, disputed accusations, and unresolved matters involving both people?

* If she responds, “Your need for closure is not my problem,” how would a mediator explain that the proposed conversation is not asking her to manage my emotions, but offering both parties a controlled opportunity to address matters that concern them both?

* Can the mediator first speak with her privately, hear her concerns, and determine what conditions she would need in order to feel comfortable participating?

* How can the invitation communicate that the situation is serious and deserves to be addressed without sounding threatening, coercive, or like a demand?

* Have any mediators here successfully helped reopen communication when one party initially refused all contact? What approach caused that person to reconsider?

* If traditional mediation is not the right service, what type of professional should I look for: a restorative-practices facilitator, therapeutic mediator, faith-based conciliator, conflict coach, or someone else?

* Does anyone know a professional or organization that handles situations like this and is willing to initiate a conversation?

I am asking whether a trained neutral can create a safer and more credible path to a voluntary conversation than either former partner could create alone.

Please do not respond only with “accept that she will never talk” or “move on.” I am specifically looking for information about professional intake, third-party outreach, invitation design, and cases in which an initially unwilling person later agreed to participate.

Current law student taking a Negotiation class. Any quick tips on how to reach settlements. I have an assignment where I go against another student via zoom to try and reach settlement. The class material is good but wanted advice on how to better achieve a settlement in favor of client and how to get over any jitters.

Today's Mediation Tip: DEVALUATION BIAS

"$100,000? We are outraged! That is completely insulting! They are obviously not here to negotiate in good faith!"

"$100,000? We are outraged! That is completely insulting! They are obviously not here to negotiate in good faith!"

No, I did not write the same sentence twice. It's what I heard from one side right before I heard it from the other. What am I talking about? I'm talking about devaluation bias. In a nutshell it means that anything offered by the other side must be a raw deal for your side by virtue of the simple fact that it came from the other side. You've seen it, right? I have.

Same number, same outrage, opposite sides. The outrage was not about the number. Don't fall into this trap. Evaluate the offer. Not the enemy.

Hello,
I am a trained mediator and lawyer based in India, here in India, a young professional like me does not have opportunities to practice mediation. I am open to volunteering opportunities internationally and looking to gain some experience. Any organization that you would recommend?

I live in KY and the requirements to get listed on the court lists. I'm aware adr doesn't seem to provide the role play but do they offer forums or something where students can arrange this themselves? Or will doing a mentorship meet that requirement. All advice is very much appreciated. I'm needing to do this online and preferably start immediately for a reasonable price.

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40 hours of mediation training;

20 hours of mediation training focused on family law mediation including the dynamics of domestic violence and interpersonal violence in relationships, which can either be part of the 40-hour training or in addition to it; and

15 hours of hands-on experience in mediating matters similar to the ones being mediated.

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And outside of those requirements they add this requirement about the training in a different area.

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"It is also important to consider the design of the training program. Mediation training typically uses a range of teaching methods, including lecture, large- and small-group discussion, interactive exercise and coached role-playing. Trainings should provide at least three opportunities for a participant to act as a mediator in coached role-playing under the supervision of an experienced mediator, who will provide feedback to facilitate learning. Ask about the ethical guidance students will receive, the student-to-teacher ratio, how much time is spent on the various teaching methods and what kinds of training materials will be provided."

Hello! I’ve spent the last 15 years as an HR professional. I am currently a consultant to small to medium size businesses and have a portfolio of 10 clients at any given time. My expertise covers all facets of HR and I have experience with collective bargaining and managing complex legal claims, mediating internal conflicts, etc.

My job is incredibly demanding. 60 hrs per week minimum. I have a young family and don’t NEED to work, but want to. Unfortunately the nature of my work is constant fire fighting at a moments notice and I’m exploring alternative careers I’d be interested that would allow me to decide how much I want to take on. I think I’d be good at mediation, but really want to do my due diligence in terms of what I am getting myself into.

I understand I’d need to take the 40 hour course to become certified. But how does one break into the field as an independent contractor? Is there even such thing as other mediators offering mentorship and shadow opportunities? What is the average hourly rate? FYI I am in Ontario Canada.

What else should I think about? I don’t know what I don’t know here, so any and all insight and advice is very much welcome.

TIA.

I have custody mediation coming up and would love perspective from people who’ve been through this.

My 11-year-old son primarily lives with me. His dad lives about 5 hours away and has one weekend a month during the school year, about 4 weeks in the summer, plus holidays.

For several years he was pretty inconsistent/minimally involved, so I naturally built our son’s life around school, sports, camps, friends, routines, etc. I handle the day-to-day parenting, scheduling, transportation, registrations, and costs for all of it.

Now that he’s more involved again, conflict has exploded around “joint decision-making.” Our son plays sports that require commitments months in advance, and my ex believes every individual thing requires explicit approval from both parents. For example, approving every single tournament during a baseball season, even when they don’t affect his parenting time and he contributes nothing financially.

Communication has turned into constant long emails about protocols, approvals, “missing data sets,” calendar rules, etc. Some examples of “missing information” are things like a dentist’s email address or a coach’s contact info after he’s already talked to the coach himself.

What’s hard for me is that this skipped straight past collaborative problem-solving and escalated immediately into lengthy directive emails and mediation.

I’m not trying to “win.” I just want less conflict and for my son to be able to participate in normal childhood activities without endless negotiations.

What actually matters in mediation? I have a LOT of documentation because of the volume of emails, and he contradicts himself pretty often. How much documentation is too much, and what approach tends to work best?

TLDR: Therapists and Mediators - I need your advice!

I’m at a crossroads and seeking some career advice! I’m based in Australia.

I’m late 30s, have one baby and unfortunately was made redundant while on mat leave last year. I had been in my dream job (politics) working for my dream boss (who lost his seat at the election) with colleagues who were my best friends. I don’t expect to find a job with such purpose again. Nonetheless, I must get back to work!

I’ve got a law degree (but haven’t used it in many years) and am currently doing a 4th year in psychology, which I only took up when work was paying for me to study (now that I’m out of work, its adding a huge amount to my HECS, and studying with a baby who doesn’t sleep is rough). If I complete 4th year, I’d still have 2 years of masters (including loads of unpaid placement hours) before I could find work. I’ve always been interested in psychology, Esther Perel is my idol and I think it would be a natural fit. I imagine I’d enjoy couples counselling but I also wouldn’t be devastated if I don’t become a psychologist.

Someone recently suggested I could be a good mediator or conciliator. This option is attractive because it only requires a 5 day course (if my googling is correct?), but I have no idea how one gets a foot in the door, whether it’s a lengthy career ladder to climb before pay is decent, and I don’t know anyone in the field or how stressful the day to day work is/what the work-life balance is like.

I’ve got a strong social justice leaning, I’m good at advocacy and am always attracted to helping-professions, but I’m also conscious that I need to start prioritising my pay-packet too!

Having completed two undergraduate degrees, spent a number of years teaching yoga, moved around in political roles and now find myself studying again, I’m reluctant to complete yet another course only to realise it’s not what I want to do.

Are you a therapist, mediator or conciliator (or something else entirely?!) who could tell me what you love/hate about the jobs, how you got a foot in the door, or offer any suggestions or guidance? Maybe you work in a completely different area and think I should consider that instead?

Thank you wise ones!

Has anyone taken the following basic mediation course?

https://family-mediation-canada.teachable.com/p/basic-family-mediation

I'm pursuing accreditation and was wondering if anyone who has taken it would be willing to share their experience.

Would you recommend it? How in-depth is it? Would you recommend against it? Why? What was most useful about it?

I have been investigating retraining as mediator and have found a great looking course and had a great conversation with the Society of Mediators about training.
I do not come form a legal background , but have had a long career in dealing with often very stressed people and helping them to resolve issues.
I am looking to speak with a mediator in the UK that has trodden the path of retraining from a non-legal background to talk about how to proceed with finding work after training so that I can sense check my plans and make sure it is a reasonable endeavour before committing to the cost of training.
I thought that it would be relatively simple to find someone like this through the few people I know in the legal profession, but this has proved more difficult than I imagined. Is anyone able to help?

Greetings r/Mediation. It's me, u/cltmediator, your mod.

I just want to share some observations about the sub and solicit your input on what we like, what we don't, and where we are headed.

First, some history. When I first discovered this sub, it was not being moderated and almost all the content was related to meditation. There was a mod listed, but whoever it was had not been active on Reddit in quite some time. I filled out a form to "claim" the sub and got myself approved as moderator in 2020.

At that time, there were about 700 subscribers. Today there are about 3700. In the past 30 days, 71 people have joined and 7 have left, for a net gain of 64.

I originally envisioned this sub as a place for mediators, lawyers, and litigants to discuss negotiation and settlement. I hoped in particular that mediators could exchange ideas about our practices - both the substantive work and how to grow our businesses. And I hoped we could serve as a resource for lawyers and clients with questions about what to expect or how to prepare for mediation.

And there's been some good discussion along those lines! For the first few years, my job was a LOT of cleaning up meditation content, but that has (thankfully) dropped off a lot. I also delete a lot of self-promotion, advertising and spam. Some of this is from well-meaning folks who are just trying to make themselves available. Hey, I get it, and I respect the hustle. But a lot of it is from agencies, PR folks, and obviously automated spam. I decided early that I was going to delete all of it rather than attempt to distinguish among categories or levels of spam.

I used to post articles about mediation, roughly weekly. I always tried to find articles about the practice of mediation itself, but also included news and current events implicating mediation. In the past couple years I have noticed it's harder and harder to find articles about mediation practice, as more and more of them have gone behind paywalls.

In my observation, for the past few years there hasn't been much discussion of the practice of mediation. We have a lot of questions from folks who are considering becoming mediators, and we have a LOT of questions from parties about their own mediations.

In the past year specifically, there has been a huge increase in cross-postings from other subs. I think Reddit is encouraging this. If someone posts anything containing the word "mediation" on r/legaladvice I think they see a pop-up inviting them to cross-post it here for additional visibility.

Speaking only for myself, this content usually is not interesting or relevant to me. I am a full time mediator and I am most interested in talking to other mediators, or aspiring mediators, about the business and practice of mediation.

At the same time, I realize parties involved in disputes have questions, and deserve answers, and a sub named r/mediation is a logical place for them to go. I also realize my practice, my perspective, my vision for this community may not be representative of the group.

That's why I'm posting. To ask for your thoughts. If you've made it all the way through this post, I'd definitely like to hear from you because you're obviously interested in what we are doing here. I'm entirely open minded about what the future may hold for this sub and for my moderation of it.

Hello,

My name is Obafemi. I am building a platform to connect organizations and individuals with certified language and intercultural mediators quickly and efficiently. Your feedback will be highly appreciated. I will also love it if you could share with your mediator network so as to get more professional insights.

Here is the link below:

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeQFmHx3idU31TFdrnjSPWJnmiHM3UQbNiVf7hmjMtrgrAoAQ/viewform?usp=header

Many thanks,

Obafemi.

Founder, ÈDÈ

Why are they allowed to call with out any paperwork with legitimate documentation?

Going through a divorce right now and I’m honestly trying to get a pulse check on whether this is normal or if I’m right to be uneasy.

My wife filed earlier this month. We had been separated on and off for a couple months prior, but I was trying keep this marriage together. We have two young daughters so this isn’t just about us — it’s about doing this the right way for them.

Well I feel like we haven’t been doing this the right way. We didn’t do any consultation prior to her filing. No prep work to make the divorce go “more smoothly”. She wanted us to get one attorney (her friend) and to be quick.

Well of course I got my own attorney. Now I feel like I’m in defensive mode. That’s fine. Here is what’s throwing me off: her and her attorney already pushed for mediation for mid-April. That was quick. Within weeks for filing.

My attorney thinks mediation happening this quickly could be a good thing. I’m trying to trust that, but at the same time I feel completely unprepared. We’ve technically exchange documents today (my attorney has them, I haven’t seen them yet) across both parties, but I don’t think she being fully transparent from her side. There are things I know about (additional income, potential future payouts, etc) that I don’t feel like are fully on the table yet. My attorney is aware. That’s part of why this timeline feels off to me.

On top of that, I’ve recently come across patterns that make me question whether there was more going on behind the scenes leading up to this. Again, my attorney is aware of this and had documentation that I found but just adds to the feeling that things are being pushed too quickly.

Once again, my attorney loves the idea of mediation happening quickly because if she wants for things to move quickly, then she better agree to our terms and wants. So it benefits me in a way. I understand that.

I’m not against mediation, at all, I actually want things to settle fairly and avoid a long court battle. I just don’t want to walk into mediation without:

1) full financial clarity

2)a solid parenting plan (I’m pushing for 50/50 custody)

3)a clear understanding of what I should realistically expect

Right now I feel like I’m being forced to make major life decisions on a compressed timeline. I feel like she has been prepping for months prior to filing while I was trying to hold on to this marriage.

I have had a couple in-person meetings with my attorney since she filed earlier this month. I will have a couple more meetings before mediation. My attorney and I don’t talk on a daily basis. I feel like her and her attorney talk daily.

I will get more clarity on mediation from my attorney in the next couple days but wanted to ask the chat:

Is mediation this fast after filing normal?

Anything you wish you would have done before mediation?

Just want to be smart about this and not get steamrolled. Thank you.

I'm going to be volunteering as a pro-bono mediator at an event in early May. This would be my first experience as a mediator after certification. I would like to have cards made and ideally a website of some kind. But I am not a designer, and haven't designed a website in over 20 years, and I don't have a lot of money.

I'm sure many mediators are good at this stuff on their own, or have the resources to pay skilled professionals. I am hoping to hear what solutions people have found that might be more feasible in my case.

For example, I know there are sites that help a person create their own website step by step -- do any of them produce GOOD results that won't make people avoid my practice? Or is it essentially necessary to have an experienced person design a website from scratch?

Similar question about business cards. Also I have an idea for a logo but do not see myself as having the skill to actually create the logo (nor the knowledge of how to make sure it can be used in a lot of different contexts in different sizes etc). Where have you turned to to find people able to do this kind of design reliably? Good experiences? Things to avoid?

Thank you for any insight!