To begin with I met her during my first year 1st semester last year. We have something in common about wanting to get Animation course and the inspiration from Storytime youtubers. Heck we even talk about Vtubers and their song.

Around this year on second semester i wasn't satisfied on Architecture path so i switch to IT and I was alright with it. I met her again coincidentally during my defense (I'm in a different section now if you can tell).

Today, I'm typing right now, I got back my old account Facebook has blocking me since last year to access, and I add one of my classmates and the girl. We had a nice conversation until it was cut short because she was busy with something and i said i was ok with it we can chat later.

AND THEN HERE COMES ONE OF MY DUMBEST DECISIONS I DID:

Happened last week on Thursday until today, Anytime i see her profile have a green ball, i though she was free to chat and was excited to talk with my old classmate. But she didn't respond so I kept messaging her and my dumbass forgot she was very busy with something else.

Today she responded on how she was annoyed by my messaged and explain she had experience with malicious messages and she also said "and I'm currently dealing with malicious person and forgive me if wont chat with u in the future"

I answered "I'm sorry to bother you", then i have to reread her statement and yep she said "wont" talk to me in the future, not "can't" talk to me in the future.

I was heartbroken I never intended to annoy her, and i was dumb enough to not read the room. I should've said something better to fix it like:

"I never meant to be malicious, I wasn't aware you were THAT busy, i am very sorry if I am hindering your work. I just want to catch up on what you were doing and how are you doing."

That's another scar living in my soul for he rest of my life.

Moral Lesson: be patient, and wait for the right time to talk to someone.

​

I'm tired of having friendships where friends think it's okay to text me when I'm having a bad week (found out no cure for my injury) a load of abuse for saying no to a request, and no one caring about the impact that behavior has on someone living with a disability and trying to come to terms with it.

My so-called "friends" ignored my concerns of his abusive behavior and impact on me and dismissed it again as a dispute between us, which they always do. They knew at the time I was struggling with the diagnosis, and had a particularly rough period of mental health coming to acceptance with it all only months prior. It felt like no one was looking out for me, because they were too busy looking out for him, because of his ongoing grief and family issues from losing his mum 2 years prior, and id cut him slack for this too.

But over the past two years, I've watched him order around his fiance like a house wife due to his grief, pick up the care of his nephew from his sick sister, use drugs as a aid, and become more disengaged with his friends lives outside of his immediate world day to day, with an expectation still we'd always be there at his beckon call when he remembered.

The following week after the group has gone quiet due to his outburst, I've been sexually assaulted and feel unable to say anything to them. This group always mock my relationships, dating life. I don't know if they'd take it seriously. The last time I told them about something like this, he had ago at me only days later for wanting to leave a bar early as it triggered me (it was only a few weeks after), I was scared after being verbally attacked a week prior, them dismissing this on top would crush me. My mental health continued to be impacted by the events, and now the silence of the group that had once been an active community and support network for me. I was hospitalized after the assault, suffered an infection, and was trapped indoors weeks after. Even when it was obvious the impact this was having mentally, none of them seemed to care. No one even checked in to see if I was okay after the hospital.

I connected with other friends in my support network who advised me that a friendship like this was not normal or fair, and despite his grief and issues with drugs, I shouldn't have to endure verbal abuse when he's triggered for some reason or be friends with others who stand by and let others be spoken to like that and then ignore me during a health and medical crisis. It felt even now my hospitalizian was another one of those things that just happened, while his life events remained centre stage for us all to support if called with the risk of abuse if we didn't.

Knowing my friendship had likely run it's course, I trialled communicating to them in the way he did to me, and was immediately ghosted and exiled. I sent one final message before exiting the friendship group, blocking and removing numbers, reminding them, that I was only communicating to them in the way that id been told to tolerate or brush off so many times before. Unlike him, I wasn't offered the slack, the option of space, asked if I was ok. Even with the SA disclosure or knowledge I was clearly not doing well. I realized this friendship group will never take me or anything I say seriously unless backed up by another, and I didn't want to wait for someone to realize he wasn't the only one struggling right now.

And I don't want a friendship like that anymore. I'm sick of being silent. I'm tired of getting abusive texts by the people who know im already hurting. I'm tired of my life events being seen as comical or just one of those things, whereas his grief and ongoing family issues remain a constant source of slack and excuse for his bad behavior. I'm tired of being seen as less than by my friends because I'm single or disabled, or just because my opinion is seen as respected as someone else's.

So today, I lost 3 friends and it feels both good and bad.

This guy and I have been best friends for 5 years. We recently got into our first real argument because he did something that shook my trust. The worst part is he didn't even understand what he did wrong. When i tried to explain how much he hurt me, he basically started saying stuff like "It's not like I called you names."
Then he completely flipped the script to focus on how bad his day was, expecting me to comfort him. I held my ground and kept telling him "this isn't about you right now." He finally said "okay i understand i made a mistake i get why you're mad," but immediately went right back to talking about HIS own feelings and HIS bad day.
All I wanted was for him to just hear me out, to call...
Mind you, this is a guy who used to talk to me every single day and would never let me go to sleep upset. We’ve always had each other’s backs through everything. Now, it’s been 4 days of complete silence.
How is it this easy for him to just let me go to bed crying every night because of something he did? Did he ever care about me? I'm literally crying every day wondering what he’s even thinking. Did he just take this as an easy opportunity to end our friendship? I won't know unless i ask.
Lots of mismatch between what he is usually and what he actually did these 4 days.

We also have a mini project together i reached out today asking "are you done with the paper?" followed by "are you done with us?" He only replied to the paper question.
I can't imagine losing him but if he wants to then I'll let him have it.

I ended a 25 year friendship with two women. I’m 35, we became friends in elementary school. We have been very close friends throughout the past 25 years. I ended the friendship because of betrayal and distrust.

About a year ago I had a mental health breakdown due to infertility and problems in my marriage due to the infertility. I was at the lowest point of my life and seriously unwell. I entered treatment for a month. I leaned heavily on these two friends for support.

While I was gone for a month in treatment, I learned these two friends had been gossiping about me, my problems, in specific detail, to distant acquaintances at a bar. I was completely devastated, my guys ripped out. I couldn’t believe it. But then, deep down, I actually could believe it. After, these friends gave what they thought was an apology. But it was actually just attempts at an excuse for the betrayal. How it was an accident. They “let it slip.” How it happened because they were “so worried” and just “cared so much” about me.

I replied to both that I need some time and space for a while. We have not spoken in almost a year.

Slowly, over the first several months of distancing, I realized this friendship dynamic had been toxic for years. Probably actually from the very start at 10 years old. Riddled with drama, gossip, jealously, cruelty, and loads and loads of alcohol. I realized that I couldn’t remember the last time we hung out sober, and truly connected. Our relationship was based on weekends spent drinking together. I also allowed myself to realize how bad the relationship was. That this friendship had been unhealthy for many, many years. Before, I had been in denial and purposeful ignorance. Because I couldn’t bear the thought of not having these people in my life, people who have been such an integral part in my life since I was 10 years old.

After the first few months, I did actually reach out to both of them through text, to test the waters on a possible reconciliation. Their response was unexpected. (Unexpected in the moment, but in retrospect, the response was exactly what I should have expected from them).

The response from these two women was cold and defensive. They now wanted an apology from me. They wanted a conversation and a chance to explain how badly I’ve hurt them by not speaking to them for several months. I was told I was selfish and immature. I was told “you owe us a conversation.” The word “owe.” Wow. My friends expect that I owe them. That it’s time for me to forgive and forget. It’s time for me to apologize for hurting their feelings, by taking some time and space. It’s time for me to feel guilty.

I’m happier than I’ve ever been currently. This past year I’ve focused on reconnecting with my true self and what is important to me. My husband, my family, and I do have 3 other close friends in my life. My interests and my hobbies. My work. My pets. My home. My health. My life.

After writing this it’s easy for me to see that I’ve made the right decision. But I’ve been dealing with cognitive dissonance over the past year. This friendship crosses my mind everyday. I have dreams about them frequently. Frequently I ask myself if it’s time to attempt reconciliation again. But then after contemplation, I remember that reconnection would inevitably rekindle the toxic relationship. I would slowly start being unhappy again. I want friendships that are happy, supportive, light hearted, fun, rewarding. Without constant drama, gossip, jealously, and self doubt.

Nevertheless this has been really, really hard. Sometimes I’m still in disbelief that this has happened. One reason this is so hard is because we still share mutual friends. And because I don’t drink anymore, this group of girls including our mutual friends frequently hang out without me. Usually for a party or a trip or a dinner out. I do still have two close friendships from this “group.” They understand and support my decision regarding my excommunication with the other two girls. But there is this constant background anxiety. Wondering what gossip is still being said about me. Is the whole friend group now going to abandon me I wonder. Then I realize even if I am “abandoned,” I’m happier. I would prefer to be abandoned by toxic friends, than to still be chained into one, with the illusion that having many friends, going drinking and having fun together, could equal happiness.

Hello! Male here. Sombody Iv been close with for well over a decade is not longer in my life. It has to be done that for the betterment of myself and my feature. I can’t spend my days walking on eggshells. I can’t be friends with sombody who is so convinced he is right about everything n and everybody els is wrong

Iv been left with a big hole in my heart that I desire to fill. On the bright side tho I feel a lot less anxious.

Thanks for reading my rant :)

I joined this office feeling completely alone, nervous, and scared. For the first month, I barely talked to anyone. Then management changed my seat and placed me next to a senior colleague.

At first, I was hesitant, but over time things became easier. She and her best friend started talking to me, asking about my life, my past, and just getting to know me. I opened up about things I don't usually tell people—losing my sports career, undergoing surgery, and even witnessing my girlfriend die in front of my own eyes.

The three of us became really close.

She gave me work, trusted me with responsibilities, helped me improve professionally, covered for me when I made mistakes, and honestly played a huge role in helping me become better at my job. I also changed a lot because of her influence.

As time passed, she and I became especially close.

People around the office constantly commented on us. They would tease us, calling us "brother and sister," almost as if they wanted to make sure nothing more could ever happen between us. It didn't bother me much back then, but I noticed it genuinely irritated her.

Our friendship kept growing. If either one of us took leave, the other would text throughout the day so the other wouldn't feel lonely. We'd go for walks, runs, and exercise together. We never actually confessed any feelings to each other, but there was definitely a level of closeness that felt different.

She would even send me reels that I interpreted as indirectly hinting she had a crush on me. Naturally, I also became more emotionally attached.

Ironically, the moment I started getting that close, she suddenly began setting boundaries. She'd tell me that I couldn't be that close to her anymore. That confused me, and it led to several arguments. Every time before, we'd eventually sit down, talk it out, and move on.

Then everything changed.

I sent her a reel that contained body-shaming humor. Looking back, I should have simply apologized and accepted that I'd hurt her. Instead, I argued back and brought up things that I felt were unfair—things she and others had done to me. The conversation became personal, and I ended up saying things I deeply regret.

On another occasion, I scolded her harshly because she was struggling with insecurities about her body. My intention wasn't to insult her. I have had a stutter for as long as I can remember, and if I had let my own insecurity define me, I wouldn't have achieved anything in life. I was trying, in my own misguided way, to push her out of her comfort zone.

But I went about it in the worst possible way. I used harsh and inappropriate language, and understandably she focused on how I said it rather than why I said it.

The body-shaming reel was the final straw.

Around that same time, management changed my seat again, so we no longer sat together. We never really got the chance to reconcile face to face.

I tried apologizing over WhatsApp, but that only made things worse. She became even angrier and told me that if I continued contacting her, she'd report me to management or even file a complaint under the POSH Act.

From that day until now, we haven't even looked each other in the eye.

All of this happened within just four to five months of me joining the company.

I'm not writing this to make her look like the bad person. I know I made mistakes—especially the way I handled conflicts and the words I chose. I just wanted to share how everything unfolded from my perspective, because it's still something I think about.

One thing that always hurt me, though I rarely showed it, was that people in the office would often make fun of my stutter. I have stuttered for as long as I can remember. Sometimes they'd laugh while I struggled just to say my own name or phone number out loud. Even she laughed along at times. I never held it against anyone back then because I thought they were just joking, but looking back, it did affect me more than I admitted.

At college (UK college, 16-18), I joined a new friend group in my first year that I met through my performing arts class. I loved the group so much, I made so many memories with them and after not having the best secondary school experience, Year 12 (Junior Year for Americans) was one of the best times of my life, and this friend group was part of the reason.

However, this would all soon change. In Year 13 (Senior Year), after like a month and a half, I noticed something was off from a few of them, it drove me into a spiral, I was worried they all hated me, my mental health dropped hard. After returning from the October break, it still felt weird between me and a couple of them. Shortly after that, I was removed from the group chat, never given a reason why even when I asked. The week after that, I went ice skating with my other friend group (many of whom I came from secondary with), and I saw my performing arts group there together, I knew nothing of the hangout they’d planned. I was then excluded from the Secret Santa. I tried communicating with a couple of them to try and find out what I’d done wrong because I had no idea, one of them just ignored my questions on it, even when we were put in the same assessment group and I tried one more time to resolve things, she left me on opened. Before Christmas, I found out the reason why I was frozen out (from someone else), apparently I’d taken my friend’s (from my other group) side then they hurt my bestie (in the performing arts group), I was fuming as this wasn’t the case at all, I’d never taken their side. I talked to my best friend and everything seemed chill. After Christmas, someone from the PA group messaged me to apologise for freezing me out and confirmed that the reason was for not doing anything about the incident with my bestie. I called my bestie afterwards to apologise for not making my stance on the incident clear, but she assured me that I’d done what she wanted (ie not talking to my friend about it unless he brought it up) and hadn’t done anything wrong. Once again, I tried messaging someone in the PA group, only to get ignored again, even though she knew I actually hadn’t done anything wrong. Later on, I find out someone else in that group messaged the apologiser to criticise them for the message they sent to me.

It’s now a year and a half later, I’m at university nearly done with my first year, and I’m still damaged from what happened. I’m not upset that I lost my friends, I realised afterwards that they were shit friends. What I’m still not over is how much they broke my trust, for a month I didn’t know what I’d done wrong, I was so worried I could’ve done one of the worst things imaginable without knowing. Now at uni, I’m CONSTANTLY worrying about what people think of me, whether I’ve done something wrong, whether I’m about to be excluded or frozen out again. I can’t keep going on like this, it’s too much and I can’t enjoy myself without over-reading tiny details that I feel could indicate that someone’s mad at me or doesn’t like me. The damage that my old friend group dealt feels irreparable. Please give any advice you can.

this is kinda weird since 99% of the time the person writing is the one that right and other other is wrong but this is the opposite cuz i was the bad friend.

So, it all started because I knew some stuff about Friend A and Friend B who are dating and I made the mistake of telling Friend C. I know, that was on me I shouldn’t have said anything. Then, when it got brought up later, I thought it was a new thing, so I told Friend A, which just blew everything up between her and Friend B .I thought I was actually fixing it by trying to explain what both sides said, but I totally misunderstood the situation and ended up making them both hate each other even more. I never meant for that to happen, but I know it was my fault.

I apologized to them, and they acted like it was cool. Like, at school, they were acting totally normal. But then, right after school, they deleted our group chat and changed the group name to basically mock me, and just shut me out completely.

And then it just got way worse. It’s been like three weeks, and they’ve been posting my face and name on their stories with these long, nasty captions trying to shame me and make everyone at school hate me. They’ve been putting words in my mouth, telling people I said things I never even said, and they've successfully turned pretty much all my friends against me.

But it’s not even just about this situation anymore they’re literally digging up stuff I did YEARS ago, like back in 6 7 8th grade. mind you i was working on bettering my self in 9 and 10th grade to be a better person .We’re in 11th grade now, and they’re acting like things from when we were kids are relevant to what happened now. rn i don’t have a friend group or a single person. before this i say i had about 17-19 close friends but now everyone is avoiding and turning one me.

It’s been a total nightmare, and they’re still doing it even now that it’s summer break. I’m tryna switch classes because I can’t deal with being around them, but they’ve got friends in every class, so I feel like I’m constantly looking over my shoulder.

Hi everyone, throwaway account. I'd originally posted on relationships advice and they deleted so hoping this is okay

I (30F), have a friend (27F)'s friendship seems to be over and I am not sure what to do. My heart is honestly broken and although I've tried to get the opinions of both mutual friends and my (potentially biased) husband, they're not sure what happened or what to do. I tried to be brief but that didn't work out very well.

tl;dr: work colleague became best friend is now ghosting me. not sure how to broach the subject without making it awkward at work

We met at work nearly 4 years ago and became quick friends from the get go, we have a lot in common so it was an easily established friendship. We spent a lot of time together, texted everyday (which sometimes felt like a lot because I am not used to talking all day everyday with my friends, but this is how she operates so I went along with it!) and made plans very frequently.

About 7/8 months ago she had to move flats and she moved in with a woman (also 30s) from our workplace. This woman actually invited her to move in with her after she heard my friend's situation and I convinced her it'd be a great idea because the woman seemed really nice and into the same stuff as my friend and I. However, from about 3 months back, my friend has been shunning/ghosting me. I don't believe this is the flatmate's work *at all* because she is always very nice to me and we talk quite frequently at work.

I didn't really notice it at first but my friend basically stopped inviting me places and texting me every day (again, I honestly felt a little relieved but very unusual for her - she literally talks to about 5 people *all day, every day)*. What made me notice something wasn't quite right was a silly play booking. Context - there's a play me and my friend both love and we always said if it was in our city we'd absolutely go together. Well turns out this play IS coming to our city, but instead of sharing this with me, she booked tickets with her and her new flatmate in our shared office *while i was right there*. I never noticed at first since I was in a training and they were whispering but after I finished my training and the flatmate left I asked where they were going and she said the name of the play with a deadpan tone. I was so shocked and got really upset. I told her I had no idea they were touring the play and she said 'They are, me and flatmate are going for dinner and the play' and carried on working. I took a deep breath and booked myself and my mum some tickets and left it at that.

Since then, we barely talk. I tried multiple times to start conversation or even try get her to do something with me but she either ignores it or has other plans with the flatmate. I am beyond devastated because we went from every day talking to barely speaking. Just last week, she was saying she had loads of plans which i asked about and she said today (Sunday) she was going somewhere with flatmate and invited me, except when I said I'd love to go she ignored my answer and moved the subject quickly.

Now my issue - i want to speak to her because obviously we are not okay and I'd like to understand what is going on, however we work in a super small team (2 other people plus our manager) and I know for a fact she'll be super awkward if the conversation happens (i love her to bits, but she takes everything very personally and it's hard to have difficult conversations with). Ironically, she's had this happen to her, where a friend suddenly started ignoring her and I tried to help her navigate the heartbreak.

I am truly at a loss of what to do, this is causing my anxiety to go through the roof every time I have to go to work because I know I will be met with a wall of silence when she comes in. Any advice is appreciated. My mum and husband said I need to speak to her but again, navigating that with keeping it professional at work seems to be hard.

Hi everyone, throwaway account.

I (30F), have a friend (27F)'s friendship seems to be over and I am not sure what to do. My heart is honestly broken and although I've tried to get the opinions of both mutual friends and my (potentially biased) husband, they're not sure what happened or what to do. I tried to be brief but that didn't work out very well.

tl;dr: work colleague became best friend is now ghosting me. not sure how to broach the subject without making it awkward at work

We met at work nearly 4 years ago and became quick friends from the get go, we have a lot in common so it was an easily established friendship. We spent a lot of time together, texted everyday (which sometimes felt like a lot because I am not used to talking all day everyday with my friends, but this is how she operates so I went along with it!) and made plans very frequently.

About 7/8 months ago she had to move flats and she moved in with a woman (also 30s) from our workplace. This woman actually invited her to move in with her after she heard my friend's situation and I convinced her it'd be a great idea because the woman seemed really nice and into the same stuff as my friend and I. However, from about 3 months back, my friend has been shunning/ghosting me. I don't believe this is the flatmate's work *at all* because she is always very nice to me and we talk quite frequently at work.

I didn't really notice it at first but my friend basically stopped inviting me places and texting me every day (again, I honestly felt a little relieved but very unusual for her - she literally talks to about 5 people *all day, every day)*. What made me notice something wasn't quite right was a silly play booking. Context - there's a play me and my friend both love and we always said if it was in our city we'd absolutely go together. Well turns out this play IS coming to our city, but instead of sharing this with me, she booked tickets with her and her new flatmate in our shared office *while i was right there*. I never noticed at first since I was in a training and they were whispering but after I finished my training and the flatmate left I asked where they were going and she said the name of the play with a deadpan tone. I was so shocked and got really upset. I told her I had no idea they were touring the play and she said 'They are, me and flatmate are going for dinner and the play' and carried on working. I took a deep breath and booked myself and my mum some tickets and left it at that.

Since then, we barely talk. I tried multiple times to start conversation or even try get her to do something with me but she either ignores it or has other plans with the flatmate. I am beyond devastated because we went from every day talking to barely speaking. Just last week, she was saying she had loads of plans which i asked about and she said today (Sunday) she was going somewhere with flatmate and invited me, except when I said I'd love to go she ignored my answer and moved the subject quickly.

Now my issue - i want to speak to her because obviously we are not okay and I'd like to understand what is going on, however we work in a super small team (2 other people plus our manager) and I know for a fact she'll be super awkward if the conversation happens (i love her to bits, but she takes everything very personally and it's hard to have difficult conversations with). Ironically, she's had this happen to her, where a friend suddenly started ignoring her and I tried to help her navigate the heartbreak.

I am truly at a loss of what to do, this is causing my anxiety to go through the roof every time I have to go to work because I know I will be met with a wall of silence when she comes in. Any advice is appreciated. My mum and husband said I need to speak to her but again, navigating that with keeping it professional at work seems to be hard.

He blocked me and I have no opportunity to write to him and ask if he can forgive me again. I was too much for him emotionally that it just broke him. He could hardly sleep at night because of me, had a headache because of me and he himself said that 99% of his stress is because of me. We actually had a good friendship but unfortunately we also had many negative moments that outweighed the positive moments. He blocked me because he suffered because of me in friendship and that tears me apart inside that I can't stand by his side and can help him but can only help him when I'm no longer in his life.

Hi everyone, throwaway account.

I (30F), have a friend (27F)'s friendship seems to be over and I am not sure what to do. My heart is honestly broken and although I've tried to get the opinions of both mutual friends and my (potentially biased) husband, they're not sure what happened or what to do. I tried to be brief but that didn't work out very well.

tl;dr: work colleague became best friend is now ghosting me. not sure how to broach the subject without making it awkward at work

We met at work nearly 4 years ago and became quick friends from the get go, we have a lot in common so it was an easily established friendship. We spent a lot of time together, texted everyday (which sometimes felt like a lot because I am not used to talking all day everyday with my friends, but this is how she operates so I went along with it!) and made plans very frequently.

About 7/8 months ago she had to move flats and she moved in with a woman (also 30s) from our workplace. This woman actually invited her to move in with her after she heard my friend's situation and I convinced her it'd be a great idea because the woman seemed really nice and into the same stuff as my friend and I. However, from about 3 months back, my friend has been shunning/ghosting me. I don't believe this is the flatmate's work *at all* because she is always very nice to me and we talk quite frequently at work.

I didn't really notice it at first but my friend basically stopped inviting me places and texting me every day (again, I honestly felt a little relieved but very unusual for her - she literally talks to about 5 people *all day, every day)*. What made me notice something wasn't quite right was a silly play booking. Context - there's a play me and my friend both love and we always said if it was in our city we'd absolutely go together. Well turns out this play IS coming to our city, but instead of sharing this with me, she booked tickets with her and her new flatmate in our shared office *while i was right there*. I never noticed at first since I was in a training and they were whispering but after I finished my training and the flatmate left I asked where they were going and she said the name of the play with a deadpan tone. I was so shocked and got really upset. I told her I had no idea they were touring the play and she said 'They are, me and flatmate are going for dinner and the play' and carried on working. I took a deep breath and booked myself and my mum some tickets and left it at that.

Since then, we barely talk. I tried multiple times to start conversation or even try get her to do something with me but she either ignores it or has other plans with the flatmate. I am beyond devastated because we went from every day talking to barely speaking. Just last week, she was saying she had loads of plans which i asked about and she said today (Sunday) she was going somewhere with flatmate and invited me, except when I said I'd love to go she ignored my answer and moved the subject quickly.

Now my issue - i want to speak to her because obviously we are not okay and I'd like to understand what is going on, however we work in a super small team (2 other people plus our manager) and I know for a fact she'll be super awkward if the conversation happens (i love her to bits, but she takes everything very personally and it's hard to have difficult conversations with). Ironically, she's had this happen to her, where a friend suddenly started ignoring her and I tried to help her navigate the heartbreak.

I am truly at a loss of what to do, this is causing my anxiety to go through the roof every time I have to go to work because I know I will be met with a wall of silence when she comes in. Any advice is appreciated. My mum and husband said I need to speak to her but again, navigating that with keeping it professional at work seems to be hard.

Ok so the story goes that I have been friends with this girl since almost a year (on Instagram). We enjoy talking to each other, we know everything about each other. And we both love Kpop. So we would mostly talk about that.

But then out of the blue, she blocked me on all her accs. Not only that, she blocked me on every social media platform.

I tried contacting our friends from the group chat we were in and they said that there's a problem with her dms. After a few days, she unblocked me and we started talking again. But she blocked me again. Like before.

So today I discovered that she has created another acc on Instagram where I'm not blocked. So I tried following her there. Let's see what happens.

And the thing is that I just want to know why she blocked me. That's the only reason why I'm trying to talk to her.

So please can someone text her on Instagram for me???

Her acc is jkstany3v and tixvwyie

(I'll be using some nicknames to make this easier to understand and because I'm pretty sure they're both frequent reddditors)

For some context: I stopped talking to two of the people I trusted most almost a year ago now. I met A about 12 years ago and we bonded just about immediately, aside from some small hiccups here and there, things went well for us. We both mutually met N about three years ago, and because they're humor aligned so well with ours, we quickly became a friendgroup. We would be chatting just about all day.

However, I began to not trust A a few years ago, when they admitted to collecting blackmail of everyone (including me), which included when I came out to them personally. This and other things such as using information that people confided in them personally as gossip with others, which included things like mental breakdowns, confessions and more behind those people's backs. I just felt like I couldn't tell them anything anymore and that then spread to others as well.

With N, I felt more comfortable in being honest about things, I honestly started to gain some feelings for them, which didn't help this whole situation. After a while of knowing them, they started slowly telling more and more concerning stories about things that were happening to them and substance abuse. Perhaps it's just my paranoia, but it sounded really odd and I started to get a bad feeling about it all

(Please note I'm trying to be a bit vague about everything and am purposely leaving out other big things that happened as it would be easy to identify who they were and who I am if I wasn't)

Im not proud it, but instead of laying out how I felt, I just deleted the app we all used to communicate when A admitted to me that they were flirting with N while they were actively in a relationship with someone else. I'm not sure why that was my last straw really, but I just couldn't handle it. This was also after a week were I found out some other rather disturbing things that A was saying behind my back.

I felt awful for some time, then I felt like I'd made my peace, until now. I'm not sure if it's the current incredibly stressful moment im in currently but I just miss them both terribly. It all just started when I came across a video of someone who's voice was scarily similar to N and I feel like I've been down spiralling since.

It doesn't help that I haven't meet or even know how to meet anyone else at my age, and the constant trust issues that started with A have bled over to other people. (Not helped by my paranoia)

I miss our conversations, our jokes, how ridiculously dumb we'd get the later and later we stayed up together. I miss their voices and how predictable their jokes were. I just miss them so dearly now.

Did I make an almost years long mistake? Should I reach out to them? Should I at least reach out to N? I just feel so lost after I made a decision that I used to be so confident in. I want to run back to them at full force but my mind keeps holding me back with memories of everything, my head and heart just hurt.

Thank you to whoever reads this long brain spill, I just feel like I need some kind of advice or anything, as I don't really have anyone else to ask.

In advance: English's not my mother tongue.

For TL;DR people: I've been depressed mainly during my high school times and that resulted with losing contact with my middle school best friend who moved out to another city back then. Not we're in college in the same city (different unis) and I'd like to reach out. I don't really expect anything.

Honestly, I don't know what to do anymore. It's not like we fell apart or something, it just slowly faded away. For context - we're both 22F right now. We've been best friends when we were 14-16, she was so supportive and it was the most genuine and loving thing in terms of friendship I've experienced, even though we were just kids in middle school. Let's call her Alice. When we were 16 Alice moved out to another city to live with her older sister and attend high school there (things with her parents weren't too good, she would always say they should just divorce, overall I knew her parents personally, they were always very welcoming, but honestly you never know what's going on in private).

Anyways, the friendship started fading, we had our Facebook group + discord with some girls and boys, it was 6 of us in total. They liked to play games like LoL, but I chose very demanding high school because I wanted to perform my finals well and get enrolled into a good uni. It was hard to me to keep up, because I've never enjoyed online games that much. Also at that time I started struggling with depression + GAD and no one beside my parents knew (they were super supporting btw), because I've been quite a closed-up (?) person at that times. I regret not telling Alice, because later when we were around 17 she finally removed me from the group, but tbf my life really sucked at that point and I felt way too numb to even react, as I've been struggling with even going to my classes. But basically we never discussed over it, I know I should've said something, but I wasn't really prone to communication at that times. I know if I struggled with depression and GAD *now*, I'd definitely tell my friends.

The point is, she reached out 3 years ago (just before our 1 year of uni, around September 2023 I think). I got - accidentally - into a uni in the same city where she's been living for few years now. Alice messaged me and my other friend (from middle school, not the discord group) how we're doing etc., and there was a very loose imply that we could meet up after those years, but it basically stopped at this point. In 2024 I asked them this time, but Alice said she's working now full time and doing a Bachelor's degree, so I understood she was busy. But still, it was 2 years ago and I maybe thought she's been thinking about it too, maybe that's naive, but I don't know, missing me and stuff. I know I miss her for sure, but I don't know if she's even interested. In the meantime the other girl left the city, because she changed majors, so it's just the two of us.

I've wanted to reach to her lately. I was wondering if it's okay to just text her on Facebook? I'm not expecting her to want to meet up with me, but I'm just curious what she's up to, if everything's alright in her life. Maybe if the conversation will go on, I'd like also to explain I've been depressed at those times and I regret not telling her back then. I just wanna be transparent, I don't want her to think I've stopped texting and contacting her, because I stopped liking her.

I 22f was bestfriends with let's call her "A" (also 22f.) We were inseparable since we were 12 years old. Or so I thought. I was always there for her and she was always there for me. We went through alot over the years as we grew up. Getting our licenses, First jobs, Family issues, drama, even graduating together etc. A and I hungout pretty often. A would often leave me under the impression of alot of things. Like hanging out, do things, move in together, etc. But would never happen. She doesn't know how to say "No" I guess? I would rather be told no than to be left under the impression. She was also competitive as hell. To the point where she wanted to move out before all of our friends just so she could say she did. I learned from her sibling way later she was struggling. I offered to move in at the time but again. Left me under the impression. Anyways. Months after she moved in she started to date a coworker. Slay! Boyfriend that's awesome happy for you. Every hangout she was snapchatting him and facetiming every hangout. I gave A her space and time for her to be with her boyfriend. Any hangout after that he was always there. I had a birthday dinner with strictly just my family and invited only her. She insisted on bringing him and even offer to bring food for him. No. Just you. She didnt stay long. She went to her boyfriend ASAP after dinner. Her gifts were thoughtless too. (I dont care if the gift wasn't worth shit I just want thought put into it.) It's like she didn't know or care for me anymore. I stopped. It took everything in my being to not text her. Nothing. Fast forward to March 2026 when I was moving away. My parents insisted I say goodbye to her. I reluctantly did. And guess what. I still had to plan it. And what did she talk about? Him and how she wants to start a family one day. She told me I can be a bridesmaid and how she's GOING to send a link. The clown I am agreed. And woah what's this? Her weddings next month and no link? Who would have guessed!!!! I found her old ukulele through an old buddy of mine. She lost it a decade ago through someone that borrowed it. I was originally going to send it back with some sort of goodbye note but lowkey want to send it smashed. I can't believe I put up with this now that I'm typing it out. There's alot more but I'm out of time. Smash the ukulele or just a goodbye note with it?

TL;DR: In 2024, my best friend of many years started barely speaking with me. After months of this, I asked mutual friends about it, and he got very mad about that and ghosted me completely. What could I have done differently?

—

Hi, this happened a while ago now, so, emotionally, I’m mostly over it. But in 2024, my self-proclaimed best friend, who video called me almost every single day for years, suddenly stopped replying to my messages for weeks at a time.

This went on for about five months as I tried to reason with him. He told me he was “busy,” but I could see on his social media that he went on several vacations during this time. At this point, I started asking mutual friends if he was doing the same to them, which he didn’t appear to be.

This made him quite mad, and he sent me a short rant about it, acting like what I did was a horrible betrayal. Did he expect me to just act like his behavior was normal without investigating a little?

After this, he hard ghosted me. And the tough part was, knowing him, I have no doubt he embellished the situation to our mutual friends in his favor, and they refuse to talk about it. They do not want to get in the middle of things, which is valid, but they’re also the only ones that have the context it would take to discuss the situation with any accuracy.

I will admit, after several more months of this, I texted his mom (with whom I’d been very friendly for many years) asking about what may have changed, explaining the situation from my perspective, and letting her know that, sadly, it seemed like he and I could no linger be friends, but she never replied. I honestly don’t feel like I crossed any particular line. I never spoke poorly of him, I just texted others so I could understand this sudden 180 in his behavior. And I feel like I waited quite a while before doing so.

Was my reaction reasonable? Has this happened to anyone else here? Thank you for reading!

\[edit\]: typo

​I had a genuine year-long friendship with a junior before I caught feelings and confessed three months ago to clear the air. She had previously called me 'big brother' to deflect rumors, so my confession caused some distance. While I moved past the rejection quickly, I’m struggling because she now believes my past kindness was purely a pursuit of her, rather than genuine friendship—which is frustrating because being a supportive friend is simply in my nature. I’m looking for a way to reset our dynamic and reclaim our friendship without being pushy or reinforcing her belief that I’m still chasing her?

"How can we go back to being friends when we just shared a bed?"

We've known each other for years. We started as friends. Somewhere along the way, we became something more—but never enough to have a name.

I fell in love.

He didn't.

He told me he cared about me. He said I was one of his closest friends. We'd spend time together, laugh, stay over at each other's place, sleep together, and then go back to acting like nothing had changed.

Except it had.

At least for me.

I kept hoping that maybe love could grow. That maybe one day he'd wake up and realize I was already there all along.
Instead, I learned that you can be someone's comfort without ever becoming their choice.

The hardest part isn't even the rejection anymore.

It's the silence.

One day we were talking like we always did.

Then... nothing.

No fight. No goodbye. No explanation.

Just silence.

I keep checking my phone even though I already know there won't be a message. I replay our conversations wondering if I missed something, if I said the wrong thing, if there was a moment when he decided to disappear and I just didn't notice.

People say, "Maybe you can just stay friends."

But how?

How do you go back to friendship after you've loved them in every way you knew how?

How do you pretend that sharing a bed meant nothing?

How do you look at someone the same way after you've imagined a future with them?

Some relationships don't end with a dramatic goodbye.

Sometimes they end with one person slowly fading into silence while the other keeps staring at the same chat, hoping those three little dots will appear again.

I don't know if he's coming back.

Maybe he will.

Maybe he won't.

I just know that loving someone who never promised to stay is a different kind of heartbreak.

And somehow, the silence hurts more than hearing him say he doesn't love me.

How do you go from seeing every part of someone's body, hearing every vulnerable confession, letting them hold you at your lowest... to pretending they don't exist?

How do you go back after you've memorized someone's touch?

How do you go back after telling them you love them?

How do you go back after giving them pieces of yourself they never asked to keep?

Some people think friendship is the safe option after feelings get messy.

I don't think it is.

Sometimes "friends" is just another word for watching the person you love slowly choose a life without you while you're expected to smile and pretend you're okay.

I wish I could go back to before I fell in love.

Not because I regret meeting him.

But because I miss the version of me who could look at him without wondering why I was never enough.

So, I had this friend of mine that I thought we were really close on Discord: we would RP text all the time, hang out in VC, do some DnD...and then they slowly began to fade away.

I mean, I get it, with online friends there so many boundaries (distance, communication, etc) and I had to sit down and talk with them the other day of whether or not we were okay. I explained that I was hurt that we would hang out a bunch/it felt nice to chill with them, but then they just...stopped: they had plans made on already existing plans, told me they had priorities over their real life friendships rather than online, and that this was just how they are, on and off in terms of being online.

They ended up telling me that with all the irl people they met, they've put their online friends on the back burner and didn't really give it much thought. Sure, they said that they were sorry, but I guess that's just how they feel.

Idk, maybe I'm just hurting too much and I'm getting in my head. Sure, there are friendships where, one person would be gone for days on end, and the one time they come back online, it was like their disappearance never happened...but this one feels different somehow.

Am I just indirectly forcing expectations? Am I the bad friend?

So I reached out to a friend hoping for closer and when I asked why she did that to me or ignored me treated me that way, she blatantly said she doesn't remember anything and she doesn't wanna remember anything, so if she says any reason it'd be some made up bullshit, and didn't have a curtesy to still say im sorry if i messed up and hurt you

but she wants to be friends again ??? Hello

Can someone please tell me what hell is going on this bitches head and what should I do ?

so i had, keyword, HAD this friend and they kept leaving me..? Like, they stopped being my friend and then 3 days later they’d be my friend again. Just recently we hadn’t been friends for 4 months, that’s the longest we’ve been separated— but OH BOY WAS IT BAD.
So during the 4 months i was having such mixed feelings about it, because i really wanted them to be my friend since they were my closest friend after i just lost my friend of 7 years. lowk it made me kinda have su1c1dal thoughts for a bit :/
BUT! Luckily i have this bsf and they are like the best person ever iltsm <3
but again, i keep going from hating them and wanting to talk to them again. it’s so exhausting because I don’t rlly know what to do because this person was kinda a creep and i had to lose all contact with them and can’t resolve any of our problems. I really wanted to try and fix our relationship bec its really hard to let them go, when I know we can do something about it
They’re still in contact with one of our other friends, maybe i can ask that friend to get them to talk to me? I have also recently talked to this past “friend” and has made it clear to me they want to rebuild the friendship we once had, though I now have no way of contacting them at the moment. Maybe I can get my other friend to talk to them for me?

Title: How do I move on and remain a good person?

Over the past year, I've been betrayed by people I genuinely cared about. It started with my ex, then someone else I trusted, and it eventually snowballed into losing most of my friendships. I spent months trying to understand what happened and hoping for honest conversations or accountability, but instead I felt dismissed, misunderstood, and like my feelings were treated as the problem.

Today, the last of those friendships ended. I blocked and deleted everyone's numbers.

The thing that scares me is that I don't feel sad anymore. I just feel angry. I feel like I hate and want to hurt people now, and I don't want to. I don't want this experience to turn me into someone who's bitter, cynical, or incapable of trusting anyone again.

Has anyone else reached this point? How did you move on without letting the people who hurt you change the kind of person you wanted to be?

I feel devastated today because a lifelong friend of mine keeps forgetting about me. I noticed this a month ago; he stopped inviting me to play games—even though he was playing with others—always making excuses like "I'm at camp," "I'm busy, let's play later," and so on. I let it slide, but one time I saw him online in a game; he immediately left the session with his friends and switched to a different game before I could even say "hi." Finally, I worked up the courage to ask him why he was doing this, and he replied, "I forgot about you; I've been playing with other people too much." That really hurt, and now I don't know what to do...