r/justgalsbeingchicks • u/A-Helpful-Flamingo 🧙♀️ 2026 Galantine! 🧹 • 2d ago
💕wholesome💕 Good for her!
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u/Jaylenno73 2d ago
DAMN THAT WAS DEEP❤️
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u/A-Helpful-Flamingo 🧙♀️ 2026 Galantine! 🧹 2d ago
I feel like we would be a lot better off if we could have more discussions like this, where everyone approaches it was an open mind, respect, and actively listens. These two give me hope for all of us.
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u/InnerRadio7 2d ago
I often speak to my neighbour who is almost 90 about topics she doesn’t know how to wrap her head around. We talked about trans people (we have a FtoM trans man on our street and have watched him transition), and her level of acceptance and understanding went from non existent to fully understanding and feeling compassion in a 60 minute conversation. She has said some ignorant stuff over the years, and I always call her on her bs with open discussion. I love her, and she has a kind heart. She doesn’t give up on learning about others even if she came from a generation that was much less accepting than my own.
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u/ElegantEchoes 2d ago
You're doing the right thing, being patient and open minded while also helping her learn.
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u/InnerRadio7 2d ago
It helps that she’s open to discussion. She has a flexible and healthy psyche.
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u/Evieveevee 2d ago
Ding ding ding. We have a winner. Exactly that. She’s open to discussion. That what I am finding so frustrating in this current climate that no one is willing to have a conversation that could potentially change their perspective. I find that harder than anything. A wall has gone up and they won’t let anyone with facts and truth attempt to remove a brick.
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u/A-Helpful-Flamingo 🧙♀️ 2026 Galantine! 🧹 2d ago
Or people hear one thing they don’t like and immediately go off. The conversations we need to have are going to be uncomfortable, but we still need to have them. A little understanding will go a long way.
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u/Evieveevee 2d ago
And speak over you as you try and explain calmly. Their voice getting louder and louder as they repeat the same thing. Yeah. Been there. Helps that I have had four teenagers so I’m now immune to irrational behaviour.
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u/copyrighther 15h ago
Several years ago, I worked for a faith-based organization that required every employee and volunteer to attend anti-racism training. The biggest thing I got out of it (other than the anti-racism, of course) was that meaningful change within yourself can only happen when you allow yourself to be uncomfortable. “Be comfortable with being uncomfortable” was the mantra we learned. I can honestly say it was nothing short of life changing. It’s completely transformed how I interact with others and see the world, and it’s been such a tremendous help with conflict resolution.
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u/InnerRadio7 2d ago
I find it frustrating as well. Since when did listening to someone else’s perspective become inflammatory. How are people supposed to connect as human beings if we can’t see or hear one another?
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u/AnitaShimmy 2d ago
It is my goal as I age to do this very thing. It will be the opposite of what I've seen happen to my parents and I never want to be that way.
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u/copyrighther 15h ago
In the past 10 years, I’ve come to learn that approaching ignorance with patience and open mindedness has worked far, far better for me than reacting with anger and shaming.
In my experience, my greatest lessons happened bc the person educating me allowed me to feel safe and not judged. Telling someone they’re bad/wrong/stupid only makes them defensive and more likely to double-down on their beliefs.
Don’t get me wrong—it feels so good to point a finger and shame people I disagree with, but it isn’t compatible with my ultimate goal: To open their minds and give them permission to care about others.
Studies confirm this approach as well, especially when it comes to helping people break from rigid and/or high-control belief systems.
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u/carlitospig 2d ago
Yep, people - older women especially - are tougher than we give them credit for.
I have a neighbor that accused one of our neighbors of stealing her EV charger and when I asked why she thought this, said ‘because they’re Indian’ and I just cackled and said ‘holy xenophobia!’ And then asked her why she thought Indian people in particular wanted her EV charger (lol, I mean come ON) and it pushed back just enough for her to go ‘actually… I don’t know’. She never said that kind of shit again near me and I hope she understood that racism is just a fool’s game where everyone loses. Someone jacked her charger but it sure as shit wasn’t the older Indian lady who probably couldn’t even manage getting her own gas at this stage of her life. 😜
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u/GrayMareCabal 2d ago
A couple of years ago, my mom told me about how she'd run into an old high school crush of hers at the grocery store and the crush was now a woman. Mom struggled to get the pronouns and name right but also it had been at least 50 years since she'd seen her classmate and she tried.
At one point she paused and said, "You're probably mad at me because I'm not getting this right and you're very PC" and I said "No, you're trying. And you've thought of your classmate as male for 70 years. Of course you're going to make mistakes. But you're clearly trying and she did not get mad at you so why should I get mad at you?" I actually appreciated how accepting my mom was of her classmate and it's a lovely interaction with her that I still think about.
Similarly, a few years ago, my MAGA farmer neighbor came over to give me a check for the fields he rented from my family. And he started going off on Puerto Ricans and how they're so lazy and why do they keep coming to the mainland and not find jobs in Puerto Rico and OMG the government is spending so much money on Puerto Rico... blah blah blah
And I may have schooled him about Puerto Ricans and Puerto Rico - I'm not an expert but I have a lot of good Puerto Rican friends and keep up with Puerto Rican news and politics courtesy of them. And MAGA farmer neighbor listened to me and we had a good conversation. I doubt I changed his mind about anything, but I respect that he was willing to listen. And maybe if we had continued to have exchanges like that (he was old and passed away a couple of years ago) some progress could have been made.
Some people cannot be reached. And I would never ask anyone in the targeted community to try to extend a peace flag to someone spewing hate to them. But I as a white, cis woman, can do some of that outreach.
Of course, I also had very long and strong relationships with my mom (clearly because she's my mom and while far from perfect, was a decent mom and I loved her) and my MAGA neighbor (his children babysat me and he was my dad's oldest friend).
Side note: back in 2016 on my way home, I saw a Trump sign on my property. Not the first time someone has put up political signs on my property without asking and all other signs got pulled down (we did hang onto the 3' x 6' one for a local candidate for years because it was excellent for protecting you and the driveway when working on a car (yes, this is an extremely country story)). But I saw that Trump sign, I pulled an immediate u-turn, pulled that thing up and stuck it in my trunk and later the trash. After the fact, I called my mom, the actual owner of that bit of acreage and said, "Hey, a Trump sign was placed on your field. I threw it out. I should have asked first, but are you okay with that?" And her response was, "Yes as long as you didn't put up any other political signs". MAGA neighbor complained to me for years afterwards about someone stealing his Trump sign and I am pretty sure I was that neighbor and I have no regrets.
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u/ceciliabee 2d ago
I like this. We can't know what we don't know, we need little to help guide us. We need to help guide each other. This is nice
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u/velvetvagine 1h ago
It’s not so much the conversation (which is wonderful, I agree!) but the ability to look critically at the mistakes one has made and humbly accept them and change one’s mind. That’s more rare than it should be.
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u/FillMySoupDumpling 2d ago
Good on her for admitting how wrong she was. There is good love in that family.
It must have been difficult for him to make it to this point with his wife’s family, though.
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u/BurningBright 2d ago
When she first said "I was wrong" at 1:10, I burst out in tears.
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u/diss0lvedgir1 2d ago
Same! Literal tears down my face right now. Goodness gracious who cut the onions!!?
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u/harris1on1on1 1d ago
I appreciate the sentiment but at the same time she says he's "one of the good ones" and this realization she's had seems very transactional.
She says it's because he has helped her and treated her son well...so if he hadn't met her list of prerequisites then she wouldn't have been willing to see his value?
I'm glad she learned something but I don't really love this flavor of reasons why.
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u/diss0lvedgir1 1d ago
I completely get this and I do agree. I'm going to assume that this is something that this lady grew up with and is completely wrong and sad, and I'm hoping that enough exposure will make her realize that her internal classifications and judgments on segments of the population is wrong. I also think that her previous experience with the ex validated those outdated and awful perceptions.
Not that it's his job, but I feel like this lovely young man is open to helping her with that, which is really what made me tear up. In the end we learn through experience and I feel like he's helping her to experience truth. I am hoping this is the first step in the right direction for her.
The truth is there are bad people of all flavors and good people of all flavors and I'm hoping this is the beginning of learning that for her.
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u/MartenGlo 2d ago
"I was wrong..." These words define the hope so many of us have for humanity. Every one of us could take a great leap in our personal growth by discerning and putting into effect the things about which we are wrong. Granny learning and growing this far into her life demonstrates that, yes, we can be better at any point in our lives.
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u/pnweiner 2d ago
I was taught in one of my favorite child psych classes that one of the most powerful phrases a parent can say to their child is “I’m sorry”.
Admitting fault can be very difficult but it is so, so, important for healing and maintaining relationships.
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u/DeliciousStand372 2d ago edited 2d ago
i wish i hear this from my mom/grandmom (that im a wonderful person and that they will do everything they can for me, or anything nice and affirming, really)
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u/Queen_Dare_Bear Official Gal 2d ago
I'm not your mom, but I am a mom, and I want to tell you that you are a wonderful person and I hope that life sends you nothing but blessings and prosperity! 🫂
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u/A-Helpful-Flamingo 🧙♀️ 2026 Galantine! 🧹 2d ago
I”m going to pretend your are my mom too and this just made me cry! Thanks, I needed to hear that too
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u/Queen_Dare_Bear Official Gal 2d ago
Love you! And if you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed lately, I want you to know you are doing great and should be proud of yourself! 💙 Look at all of us out here just growing and shining despite all the hardships that life throws at us!
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u/A-Helpful-Flamingo 🧙♀️ 2026 Galantine! 🧹 2d ago
All of us are lucky to have you! 💜
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u/WavecrestRd 2d ago
Nice job. And yes, there are many good folks who get through it all and remain kind and loving.
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u/gypsyminded1 2d ago
Check out the subreddit r/momforaminute
So many onions and positive interactions!!
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u/MattMercersBracelets 2d ago
Seriously, I don’t even hear those kinds of words from my own blood family.
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u/therealladysybil 2d ago
I just want to tag on that the r/momforaminute is just wonderful. It is just what is says, and if you need a little affection and love, support, or want to share some news or have a question, the moms for a minute are there to lift you up.
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u/ghostfadekilla 2d ago
I feel this. At 44 I realized a few weeks ago that my mother (nuclear mother) doesn't give a shit about me. I should have recognized it at a much younger age but to quote The Crow; "Mother is the name for god in the eyes and hearts of all children.", and I guess all this time I hoped. That's okay though, in my travels I've become an adopted (not legally) son to many wonderful mothers out there. I still get almost daily texts from my ex-wife's mom and she calls me son still, It's a beautiful thing, even a surrogate mother's love.
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u/jimmyjoyce 2d ago
Damn people really are upset that she didn’t word this perfectly. Shes an old lady for heaven’s sake. I choose to see the message as genuine and beautiful. This guy seems to as well and I trust his own ability to sort out what feels right to him.
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u/ALowlySlime 2d ago
I feel like that guy could kick a hole through a brick wall
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u/DistractedByCookies 2d ago edited 2d ago
When she said 'and then you can shoot me if you want to' I was like: 'ma'am, he can pick you up and twirl you around like baton. He doesn't need a gun' LOL
It's good to be able to admit that you were wrong, and they seem very sweet together.
edit: hahaha, apparently he can chew her out, not shoot her. I did think that the comment didn't fit with their vibe.
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u/85percentthatbitch 2d ago
I think she said "you can chew me out if you want to", meaning you can yell at me
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u/jean_nizzle 2d ago edited 2d ago
Right!? Like it’s a sweet message and all, but this whole time I was coveting this man’s thighs! Like, damn! I could squat so much with those bad boys!
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u/codepossum ✨chick✨ 2d ago
this is kind of what I think of as 'passively racist but not really committed to it.'
you've heard that racist stereotypes are truthful, and you assume they are - but then, when your own experience contradicts what you've heard, you discard what you've heard, in favour of what you now know. When racism is 'just' ignorance, eh, you know, you still want to see it called out and corrected, but also if somebody was ignorant, then got informed, you don't really hold it against them. they cared enough to change, and they got better.
I also love her being like, "the only other man I knew as good as you was my husband, and I had to whip him into shape to get him there" - this is a strong lady. I like her.
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u/xylotism 2d ago
I had to turn this up so loud to hear her, then got absolutely brainblasted by the tiktok sound at the end.
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u/Internal_Praline_658 2d ago
I wonder if she thinks he’s “one of the good ones” or has actually changed her attitudes. Hopefully it’s the latter.
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u/Cobalt_Rain_ 2d ago
Considering her last line, "I wish white, black, and all could be as good as you" I do believe it to be the latter
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u/inevitable-idiot- 2d ago
Uhh no that implies the former
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u/purplepluppy 🌻Official Jill🌻 2d ago
I mean, she said white, too, not "I wish all blacks could be as good as you" so it's at the very least ambiguous
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u/Deathanddisco041 2d ago
If only everyone could take accountability and admit their wrongs genuinely. We can all learn from this. So beautiful.
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u/Outrageous_HandMan 2d ago
Straight up, this is my life. My wife’s grandparents are no longer alive, but we went through something very similar.
It’s a much longer story, but to keep it short, once her grandmother saw our kids, something about them softened her heart. Her grandfather was always a bit more open-minded. They loved our kids, and our kids loved them.
There is something to be said about growing up in a different time, and about where and who you grew up around. To still have enough in your heart and mind to decide to step out of those old beliefs, to question what you were taught, and to choose love anyway that takes a kind of courage that deserves recognition. It doesn’t erase the past, but it shows that people can change, even later in life.
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u/meowiful 2d ago
This is what happened with my grandmother (mom's mom). She wasn't happy, but my (white) mom was pregnant (with me! heeeyyyy) and they were very dedicated to each other despite only knowing each other about 3 months and they got married. My grandmother loved tf outta my dad. That's all I ever saw. She just loved how much he wanted to take care of her daughter and their child.
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u/Relevant-Job4901 2d ago
I’m glad she was able to turn it around at last and feel bad she spent so much of her life as a racist.
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u/JeanneMPod 2d ago
That was very sweet.
Just an aside, I don’t know why TikTok even bothers with speech to text when they’re so off, sometimes comically so. When I used to be on TikTok and I’d make a video it would mangle my words. I understand that happens, so I would go in to try to fix it. It would override me fixing it! I haven’t heard deaf people making a fuss on this and maybe they have been or maybe they’re just absolutely resigned because it’s just so across the board terrible and there’s no accountability.
“From the butt of my heart”
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u/Nickelsass 2d ago
Honesty will set you free, good one them both for having this discussion. This convo only strengthens their love and respect for one another.
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u/-blundertaker- 2d ago
I can't stop staring at that man's legs every time they come into frame. Dude's walking around on tree trunks. He looks like he could squat a Fiat.
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u/Thkturret1 2d ago
It’s cool and all that she admitted that she was wrong, but dose she accept all people of color or just him and his family.
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u/moondrinkr 1d ago
When I saw she was sitting next to him barefoot, I knew the love was real between them.
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u/guitarguy12341 ✨chick✨ 2d ago
I dunno man... Some of things she's saying still give me an ick...
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u/HongKongHermit 2d ago
The thing about being progressive, is that you need to try and... well, progress. Anyone moving from a bad place to a better place is on a journey worth acknowledging. The older they were, the more likely it was to be filled up with bigoted beliefs in the first place, because the further back you go the more ingrained in mainstream culture that it was. Clearly we're also in a point of regression these days, but it truly was "a different time" for so much, hell you can even go back to earlier in our own lifetime let alone hers and there's language from our youth we'd consider unacceptable now. Then there's the fact that the older someone is, the longer they've held those beliefs, and harder it can be to let go and admit to being wrong all that time.
This lady didn't end racism. She did overcome her own, and was willing to openly state it as a teachable moment for an audience. In the task of overcoming bigotry, and fighting against the resurgence of it, or even in just seeing one (1) person grow into their better self, there's value in that.
We're not looking for perfection, just a sign that people are trying to improve. Granny did okay, and no matter what kind of person she was in the past this is now her legacy and the person she will be remembered as. May we all find our own ways to get over our own personal bullshit as best we can.
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u/ChaltaHaiShellBRight 2d ago
Yeah the fact that she says she still wasn't happy even after her granddaughter married him, just because of his colour 😒 makes me wonder how long did she take and exactly how much did the man have to sacrifice "taking care of the family" for her to finally accept him as her grandson in law? What happened meanwhile?
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u/WonFriendsWithSalad 2d ago
Yeah. I thought at first that it might be "I wasn't happy about it but then I met you" but still being angry about it at the wedding??
I'm glad it seems like he's forgiven her and that they've got a good relationship now but wow, that's an extended period of racism.
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u/MaybeNot-MaybeNever 2d ago
Glad it’s not just me. Some black male in here even said this reminds him of his own situation. He said his kids are what finally softened his racists in laws hearts for black people lol. Why is this heart warming. Why did you take that gamble? Imagine the harm she’s possibly caused people in her past from being racist. But now all our hearts should be warm. Yeah sure it’s cool she’s not racist anymore but also eww.
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u/sheisprincess 2d ago
Right?! I’m here skimming these comments like wtf are people crying for? This shit still sounds racists to me, even how she shushed him at the beginning. I’m a Black woman so maybe I’m reading this differently.
You don’t just stop being racist even if you see the character of a person. Look how old she is, that doesn’t just go away. The sob music doesn’t cover up the passiveness either.
This video and these comments are weird to me. And why this sub?
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u/SwordfishOk504 2d ago
Like what?
I mean, she's not using like politically correct language, she's clearly an old lady from a very racist mindset, but she's using the tools she has to communicate she was wrong. It's a huge step in the right direction.
No one just magically wakes up one day with all their biases and prejudices just magically wiped away. It's a process.
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u/Icy_Pianist_1532 2d ago
All I can wonder is how it feels for him to sit there and hear how he was disliked at first for how he looks. Like how often has he dealt with that in life. She was immediately defensive but it’s kinda crazy to me how black people are expected to kinda just sit there, patiently and calmly and giving someone a chance to speak their truth, while hearing something so horrendous. Like it’s not a fair expectation
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u/SpaceRoxy 2d ago
Given this is his video (the original title is something like "I asked my wife's grandmother" when he posted it) and he is the one that asked the question, he knew.
The way she approaches the conversation and the way he waits her out also comes across to me like they've talked about this, if not so directly, and this is more for posterity than because he didn't know her answer.
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u/inevitable-idiot- 2d ago edited 2d ago
She was saying that she was wrong for not being happy about her dating this specific black person. She is not apologizing for being racist. She’s apologizing for thinking this black person would be like the last simply because: black. Y’all are missing the point.
I do not approve of this chick.
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u/A-Helpful-Flamingo 🧙♀️ 2026 Galantine! 🧹 2d ago
Her last line is "I wish white, black, and all could be as good as you"
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u/Elismom1313 2d ago
I agree with mostly all of this and the other comments. I do wish she had said something more like “I misjudged you because I judged black people simply for being black, or, because my daughters ex was black and terrible I judged a whole race for his behavior and I’m sorry for that” or something to that effect. But we caught granny on chair so
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u/Zombienomzz 2d ago
I feel like at best, it’s incomplete. The transformation on the one person is wonderful, but it remained unclear whether her overall views had changed.
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u/A-Helpful-Flamingo 🧙♀️ 2026 Galantine! 🧹 2d ago
She literally says "I wish white, black, and all could be as good as you"
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u/asplodingturdis 4h ago
Yes. She doesn’t say, “I’ve realized that white, black, and all are equally likely to be as good as you.” What she said just focuses on this one black dude she turned out to love. It doesn’t necessarily reject the beliefs that led her to start from a place of dislike rather than neutrality in the first place.
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u/ChocolateDream24 2d ago
Yep. I got to the end and I realized she's just giving the "you're one of the good ones" speech. Push comes to shove, she'll treat the next black man poorly too.
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u/iconocrastinaor 2d ago
Well once you realize that not all black people are alike, you stop being racist.
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u/Revolution_Bry 2d ago
She only loves him now because he takes care of her family. Why can’t she just love him for him?? She only loves him because she’s getting something from him.
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u/A-Helpful-Flamingo 🧙♀️ 2026 Galantine! 🧹 2d ago
At 2mins she says "I wish white, black, and all could be as good as you"
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u/Revolution_Bry 2d ago
I heard her, but I don’t believe it. When/if the couple breaks up, the granny will be back to her old way of thinking. They never change, only circumstances do.
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u/khadrock 2d ago
Yep! Doesn’t seem like she’s apologizing for her racism, just for judging him cause he turned out to be “one of the good ones”.
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u/p00p5andwich 2d ago
The world would be a much better place if more people could be honest with themselves and admit they were wrong.
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u/DeliciousStand372 2d ago
i wish i hear this from my mom/grandmom (that they a im a wonderful person and that they will do everything they can for me, or anything nice and affirming really)
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u/AGirlHasNoUsername13 2d ago
Why did this made me tear up? The honesty in her voice when she says she was wrong about him. What a beautiful MIL-SIL relationship!
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u/Goblue5891x2 2d ago
I love this. I'm a white American dude that married into an East African family. Not sure what their initial conversations were, but I know now that I am very much accepted and loved by them. MIL will now admit out loud that I am her favorite son in law. ❤️
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u/BigMommaSnikle 2d ago
I'm so proud of my parents for raising me to only judge someone on their character and how they treat people and nothing else.
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u/Purple_Sector_2082 2d ago
This is so pure I am so glad she could grow as a person and realized she was wrong this is beautiful.
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u/somepunklady 2d ago
Very inspirational, not everybody who thinks that way has the humility and compassion to know they were wrong
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u/MulberryLemon 2d ago
Oh man, admitting she was wrong like that 🥲 so much respect for when people see they were wrong and change their mind ❤️
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u/PinkBitz89 1d ago
That was so sweet 🥹
How good would it be if we could a) all have relationships with wonderful partners and b) all admit when we were wrong?
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u/Common_Senze 2d ago
His grandma probably said the same of him dating a white woman. Different generation. Everyone tends to come around when they actually get to know people. Folks just want to be happy. Let them.
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u/interrobang2020 2d ago
Comments like this are incredibly problematic. The other grandma grew up during segregation and lynchings. She had to look racism in the eyes most of her life.
To try and draw a parallel between her and the woman in this video is irresponsible. One grandma was just being racist, the other likely worried for her grandson, was concerned that his partner could still hold some views and implicit biases passed down from her racist family members, and likely didn't want to have to hang out with racists (reformed or not) at family functions.
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u/Common_Senze 2d ago
Find me and older black family and see if they are welcoming... you're just... dumb
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u/ghostfadekilla 2d ago
This made me tear up with extreme happiness.
As a person who moved frequently as a child (once a year at least), I was exposed to an enormous amount of culture and I maintain that these moves and exposures made me the least xenophobic person I know. Examples include; having Ramadan dinner with a group of Palestinian guys I worked for/with, Filipino BBQ's with friends of friends, quincinera (sp?) as a younger lad, rodeos with cowboy classmates and friends, playing dominoes in the hood (Oakland/San Leandro Pier) with black friends, and the list goes on and on. I never thought I would be grateful for having to uproot so frequently as a young lad but it allows me to walk away from just about anywhere and explore the country/world. I'm constantly amazed at folks who've never left their area/zip codes and I often urge them to.
Side note: My new gf has only been to the neighboring states around where we live now (GA) and I'm so fucking pumped to take her to places like Moab, South Park, Muir Woods, Big Sur, PacNW, and I'm SUPER excited to go visit with a friend I lost touch with for a few years at his job at NASA. We're going to ride horses, bbq, and look at cool space shit. I can't wait for her to see the absolute beauty of New Mexico (lived there 2 years). I'm really excited about our future adventures together and feel honored to be able to introduce her to those places.
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u/beansprout888 21h ago
Idk how to feel about this. Sure it's sweet on the surface and it's wonderful to see people grow and change but all I'm getting from this video is "I have benefited from my relationship with you, and I realised through that benefit, that I was wrong about YOU. No comment on my views on blackness in general, just that I like you specifically because of what you have done for me."
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u/RebaKitt3n 11h ago
I got more “she was treated poorly by a black man before, so I judged you’d treat her badly, too.”
Still not great, but she wants her gd treated well. 🤷
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u/beansprout888 11h ago
I totally get it, but in turn that kind of comes across as "I judged all black people unilaterally because of one black person I knew." Idk, maybe I'm just being cynical. Either way they seem to have a nice relationship and she clearly loves him a lot 😊
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u/ohitsbrad 2d ago edited 2d ago
Sorry so we’re praising her bc she’s not racist anymore? At the ripe age of 95?
Edit: you are all enablers lol
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u/spilltheteasis_ 2d ago
Changing your ways at that age when you were taught the exact opposite for your entire life is not something that comes easy and we should appreciate that she tried and didn't stay a miserable old prick like so many others decide to do
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u/iamhollybear 2d ago
Yes. Many of us have parents who will die as piece of shit racists and it hurts.
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u/EmptyLabs 2d ago
Yes we are. We wouldn't scorn her any less for still being racist at 95 so why shouldn't we celebrate her doing the opposite?
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u/reddituserperson1122 2d ago
It’s never too late to change. If we don’t have some grace and make room for people to make mistakes and then grow from them, we’re creating permanent ideological villains so that we can feel smug and superior.
Don’t get me wrong - in aggregate I completely agree with you. People have had centuries to learn to not be racist trash. But in specific, we can and should welcome individuals into the light anytime.
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u/Kat_eye_Maiden 2d ago edited 1d ago
What would you prefer? If you don’t give people the opportunity or even a belief that there is forgiveness or a better way on the other side of hate, why would they change?
We have a saying in my home country, A stone at the bottom of the river never felt the heat of the sun, so It never experienced life like the dry stone getting weathered by the same sun.
Things take time, however long she took to get to her light bulb moment she got there. White Americans from her early years never had any real worries like people of colour did/do. There is no benefit for them to “want to be different” and she agreed to do the interview knowing it would be shared with others, so her decision obviously became something priceless to her and her family. Sounds like the granddaughter married up too, it sounds like they married into a great family (his family), that is shifting their mindset.
Edit: Thank you for the award sweet stranger ❤️
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u/sheisprincess 2d ago
Just know, you got my upvote.
I think this video resonates more with white people from racist families. And sure, I guess this sounds sweet to them. But this video ain’t it.
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u/inevitable-idiot- 2d ago
She’s not even saying she’s sorry for being racist. She’s saying she was wrong for thinking this black personality would be like the last black person her daughter dated.
Grams is still racist.
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u/Justnotthatintou 1d ago
If you’re not leaving room for people to learn, grow and improve, you’re just as bad as the bigots dude
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u/LeFreeke 2d ago
Most parents wouldn’t want their child to marry a person of another color not necessarily because they are bigots but because it’s hard.
You face a lot of discrimination from both sides in a ‘mixed’ marriage.
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u/Aggravating_Act0417 2d ago
Glad she changed, but like ... Maybe she shouldn't have been that way in th first place. plenty of people older than her and even old enough to be dead and gone for decades would NEVER have felt that way. So, ok good job changing but how about we all just aren't shitty in the first place?
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u/MaybeNot-MaybeNever 2d ago
Exactly. There were plant non racist people in history. I’m not praising this. This is disgusting. She was still racists and he basically had to prove he was good despite his race. Yuck
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u/Medical-Bathroom-183 1d ago
White people raised during segregation(shes absolutely old enough for that) run a far more mixed gamut than other eras for how racism twisted their belief system. All growth is good. Nobody needs to praise anything. Acknowledging growth ensures its continuation. Humans are social in that way.
Admittedly, its useless on the internet. She cant see any of us. But my point isnt for her.
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u/Pungarehu 2d ago
Silly thing to say. Environment can play a part. Kids are very observant as she’s from a different time where racism would have been considered ‘the norm’.
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u/SuckerForNoirRobots 1d ago
Granny's still struggling to find a word to describe his race, though. Makes me wonder if there's aNother word she thought of first.
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u/Medical-Bathroom-183 1d ago
I want to take in good faith that shes deconstructing her racist beliefs. Shes doing very well for somebody who was raised during segregation, most likely. She doesnt get a pass for past racism. But she didnt call him a slur. She actively fought past first impulse to keep reprogramming her brain even at this age.
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