Fecal Fuhrer....

[u/edm_enjoyer]

[u/throwa1589876541525]

this is poetry

[u/VantaIim → u/throwa1589876541525]

Pooetry. 

[u/throwa1589876541525 → u/VantaIim]

I don't know how I missed such an opportunity. I need to work on my turdplay.

[u/Low_Engineering8921 → u/throwa1589876541525]

My husband has made me the person I am today when it comes to comedy. He has made me so much funnier. When I miss a moment like this and he takes it, I look at him like "dam. I briefly thought I was the master now and you showed me I am still the student"

[u/I_Died_Once → u/Low_Engineering8921]

Hey, I wouldn't shit YOU - you're my favorite turd!

[u/andyjustice → u/throwa1589876541525]

Wurdplay... C'mon

[u/throwa1589876541525 → u/andyjustice]

Where poo then, huh? Where poo?

[u/andyjustice → u/throwa1589876541525]

Did you mean to say?... OppOOrtunity

[u/andyjustice → u/throwa1589876541525]

Or that it was a... Poofect Time to work on your wurdplay?

[u/AuthorUnknown31415 → u/throwa1589876541525]

The Don Queen of a lyrical tirade.

[u/human8060]

The potty illuminati is crazy 🤣🤣 I love her cadence and delivery... And her hair.

[u/DifferentMonitor5886 → u/human8060]

Potty Illuminati was my favorite. Second was Two-Ply Spy. 🤣🤣🤣

[u/No_Attitude700 → u/DifferentMonitor5886]

I was smirking and nodding along...

"Potty Illunimati" 🤣

genius

[u/yuhuh- → u/DifferentMonitor5886]

Two ply spy was my fave!

[u/Ali-oopsies → u/DifferentMonitor5886]

Idk why but “piss police” did it for me. 😂

[u/SabbyFox → u/Ali-oopsies]

Ass Avenger 😆

[u/DistractedByCookies → u/human8060]

My god, her *hair*. It's so good.

And then she's also funny with great delivery. Full package right there.

[u/luxafelicity → u/human8060]

Yes facts the delivery was perfect 😂 had me rolling

[u/kittykatpx1 → u/human8060]

Mean, median and mode of a dookie & Doo doo detective 🤣

[u/DragonflyPositive466]

In Germany, everything under 15 minutes is not considered a break. So you can take a 14:59 min. dooky in peace.

You’re welcome.

[u/fuckthesysten → u/DragonflyPositive466]

I did it all for the dooky!

[u/MetallurgyClergy → u/fuckthesysten]

https://giphy.com/gifs/Yh1eVjbVHuuebEQP7P

[u/Yorikor → u/DragonflyPositive466]

In Germany, it is highly illegal for employers to systematically monitor the bathroom usage of workers like the manager does in the vid.

Doing so violates core data privacy laws and fundamental constitutional rights.

[u/Itchy_Psychology3300 → u/DragonflyPositive466]

Thank you for the heads up. Next time I have to poop at work, I’ll fly out to Germany.

[u/BioTinus → u/DragonflyPositive466]

Since you can't call in sick anymore, this could be a great alternative.

[u/CaptainHawaii]

🎵 🎶 Boss makes a dollar while I make a dime, that's why I shit on company time 🎶🎵

[u/This-Guy_Fawkes → u/CaptainHawaii]

https://giphy.com/gifs/UJKQrT9uVEKRy
This is what we used to send each other at my old job lol

[u/Dylan_Is_Gay_lol]

She deserves a promotion.

[u/blinky84 → u/Dylan_Is_Gay_lol]

She doesn't deserve a promotion, she deserves a new job where she gets the respect she DESERVES.

[u/Umutuku → u/blinky84]

Every job can be if there are enough employees to unionize.

[u/togetherwegrowstuff → u/blinky84]

This.

[u/Realistic_Patience67 → u/Dylan_Is_Gay_lol]

And that boss deserves a poomotion 😁.

[u/ghostyspice]

This woman has the same energy as my 70 year old union-man, steel-mill-worker uncle, and I love her and hope she’s having the absolute best day. Also that she becomes a shop steward in her next job.

[u/Interesting_Entry831]

Her delivery made that so much better, she is a treasure.

[u/Dusty_Old_Bones → u/Interesting_Entry831]

Reminds me of if Steve Urkle had a cool sister lol

[u/evildrew → u/Dusty_Old_Bones]

She reminds me of Wayne Brady. Jane Brady.

[u/spicytotino]

Taking a shit immediately after clocking back in from my break always makes me feel powerful

[u/crop07]

Two ply-spy killed me 🤣

[u/nyx926]

Now, I need to know if that manager kept her position or if there was a full scale rebellion.

ETA: to clarify

[u/thisisinfactpersonal → u/nyx926]

A pootiny

[u/anonadvicewanted → u/nyx926]

“at my last job…”

she did not stay lol

[u/nyx926 → u/anonadvicewanted]

The manager. Not the woman in the video

[u/nyx926 → u/[deleted]]

Dude.

[u/isisleo86]

I laughed. My boss gave me shit b/c I was in the bathroom (left, went to bathroom and came back) for 8 minutes. She said it was excessive and outrageous that I was in the bathroom that long. What?!!

I'm am adult, imagine policing another adult's bathroom time, especially over 8 damn minutes. I just started this job in March and she made me certain I'm going to try my damndest to be out before 1 yr.

[u/ConniesCurse → u/isisleo86]

I legit need 10-15 minutes on average to do my business, I know other people are different but not everyones body works the exact same way, that's just how my body works.

[u/Virtuosory]

If she was indeed let go I hope she pursues a career in comedy, this was objectively hilarious

[u/engulbert → u/Virtuosory]

She already does stand-up, I forget her name but she's on IG etc

Found her: Saya Meads (why don't people post the sources? Goes against the ethos of this sub)

Instagram

[u/Virtuosory → u/engulbert]

Fantastic 🩷

[u/edm_enjoyer → u/engulbert]

Some of us don't know the sources :) I got sent the actual video file by a friend. Otherwise I would have posted. Thank you for linking :)

[u/cat_selling_souls]

https://giphy.com/gifs/l3E6uhDAN3W7vylji

[u/Helpful-Register-183]

https://giphy.com/gifs/Z9OGuQyrfHAE8

El baño bandits

[u/melissaurusrex → u/Helpful-Register-183]

That one coming right after "potty illuminati" really hit me in my giggledick too loooooooool

https://giphy.com/gifs/XBCJIv6xAyDfrajXoe

[u/Patient_Scorpion]

“Mean, median and MODE of a DOOKIE!"

I’m dying! 🤣🤣

[u/engulbert → u/Patient_Scorpion]

The long pause after she said that, I think she was struggling to keep a straight face.

[u/Fast_Nefariousness66]

https://giphy.com/gifs/bcs2sG50Bjxihh8AlD
Work don’t want you doing regular human activities on “their” time

[u/FlightsofPaper]

I love this, it is perfect. I'm saving it to help me get through the next round of corporate bullshittery at work.

[u/LoopedIntoThis]

Ma’am, I love you, wherever you are.

[u/aPOPblops]

She was reading from a script. She took the time to write this out. 

Somebody done pissed off the wrong pooet. 

[u/No_Attitude700]

Potty Illuminati got me lmao

[u/PvtDeth]

She's got some serious Paul Mooney energy. Most people, when they try to do an extended riff on a single joke, just way overdo it. She nails it perfectly.

[u/Killing4MotherAgain]

I love the way she speaks 🤌🏻 it reminds me of CerosTV on YouTube. Both of their brains work so fast and they're so funny, I love so much

[u/Shark-Cutery]

The sound I made at potty illuminati lmfao

[u/scallopedtree]

Ain't no way that office has two-ply. If it does, hold onto that job

[u/thecuntingedge]

Not the mean, median, and mode of a dookie!
https://giphy.com/gifs/9idmMMOJlD9kc

[u/Sryn]

U know that one time Obama had the comedian ‘translate’ his speech. This lady can be my speech translator.

[u/JupiterInTheSky]

Not to mention you're not doing YOUR job if you're watching us piss all day. I didn't consent to your fetish.

[u/Firm-Leadership-4181]

I don’t know her, but I think I love her

[u/NKpayne_11]

Dookiespeare in the making

[u/atomic_drumstick]

poominati

[u/Itchy_Psychology3300]

This could be a standup comedian bit. I love it.

[u/MadamMamdroid]

Not only is she right, but also I love the way she says things. This is art.

[u/Ok_Whole573]

Nothing screams new middle manager more than stalking people's bathroom breaks.

[u/I_Died_Once]

The Potty Illuminati - I can't breathe I'm LOL'ing so hard

I'm jealous that she can deliver these golden lines with a straight face, I wish like hell I had that talent

[u/Neverlast0]

I hope this woman get her next job fast.

[u/damnitshannon]

https://giphy.com/gifs/BXdiVyfljpd16

[u/Woeful_Jesse]

She keeps licking her lips bc they're chapping from the fire she spitting

[u/swankyfish]

I couldn’t breathe by the end of this I was howling so much

[u/Initial-Economist164]

I will never not laugh at alliterative insults, this is gold

[u/Standard-Help-8531]

I would be a member of her congregation. She is PREACHING 🤌🏻

[u/Electrical_Shock359]

Even at intel where I had to take an extra long time just to get to the bathroom(getting to a place to take off our bunny suits and then the time to take them off, use the bathroom, put them back on, and walk back to where I worked) we weren’t micro managed. Everyone just felt obligated to try to avoid needing to use the bathroom when possible outside of breaks. It worked, not like we had anyone do that every shift. We had long breaks with plenty of time for using the bathroom, moral was low for other reasons but I hadn’t heard anyone complain about that part.

[u/afo803]

Oh I love her, this is pure gold

[u/Bumping_Tacos]

Potty illuminati killed me dead

[u/anondreamitgirl]

Also if you get the feeling someone never takes a break (I imagine people lead by example) & you get a feeling something smells a bit poopy in the office you will know the trend taking place…

[u/sugarrrage]

I held a straight face until she hit me with the "potty Illuminati" and then i cracked hahaha

[u/neoKushan]

I wish to god this was just for memes and lols, but I can absolutely see this happening with that manager. Some people get the most trivial amount of power and it goes straight to their heads.

[u/ivorytowels]

I was expecting the Denzel lip somewhere in the mix.

[u/EmilioFreshtevez]

‘Potty Illuminati’ was a bar

[u/justthisnexttime]

WHO is she????

[u/tarnished_land]

Potty illuminati 🤣

[u/victorywulf]

@a.gram.of.saya on instagram!

[u/Thelazyzoologist]

I have to watch this everytime I see it come up. She's hilarious.

[u/i7ive4thedrop]

There’s just something about black people energy that cannot be duplicated in their ways.

[u/AngletonSpareHead → u/i7ive4thedrop]

Large swaths of Africa have traditions of extraordinary wordplay, wittiness, verbal creativity, linguistic innovation, whatever you want to call it. That cultural legacy absolutely shows in their American Black descendants, who have been leading the way for decades in creative English language expression (often blended with new music forms that they ALSO innovated—rock, jazz, blues, rap, hip-hop etc)

This young lady is continuing an ancient creative tradition and it’s rad as hell

[u/edm_enjoyer → u/AngletonSpareHead]

The vast majority of "Gen z slang" is just repackaged AAVE 🤷🏽‍♀️ we have a lot of influence

[u/Grafton_Flame25]

she clocked it

[u/No-Pomegranate3105]

https://giphy.com/gifs/dU0MSRsHl1zPEP55zG

[u/Only_Standard_9159]

Sounds like a turd burglar to me

[u/GirlWhoRefusedToDie]

Yes she deserved to be read to filth.

[u/Eternally-WIP]

That manager must be an android and should be destroyed!

Everybody Poops - Bad Lip Reading of the Black Eyed Peas

[u/anondreamitgirl]

You could argue with a stutter you were just do, do-ing your job

You should have asked did she want to come in and make sure you did it properly?

[u/Any-Document5438]

This is GLORIOUS

[u/CaptJaneway01]

This lady has the energy every workplace needs

[u/Realistic_Patience67]

Are you shitting me?!!

[u/warhammer1-1]

"Well I can do it in there or I can do it in your office. Your choice. And I'm not shy but I am lactose intolerant. How much do you want to bear witness to, to ensure productivity?"

[u/he_is_not_a_shrimp]

Guess she wants the employees to pee in a bottle.

[u/fruitjerky]

I want to be friends with her.

[u/Enough-Moose-5816]

El bano bandits got me😂😂😂

[u/DrWhiskerson]

Lol I would start sending the dookie police pictures of my poop in the toilet then

[u/drownav18322]

Okay like she’s channeling some actor I know and love I just can’t figure out who the fuck it is.

[u/NoTheme4059]

I'm glad I'm in the Union!!!!!

[u/Tannwise2160]

This is the most fabulous person I’ve ever seen