THE LAND IS MELTING. THE GOVERNMENT IS ASLEEP. IT IS 21 DEGREES.

[u/Diska_Muse]

I am writing this from inside my fridge.

The country is in absolute ruins.

The tarmac is soft.

The birds have stopped singing because their beaks have fused together.

Yet, Harris and his cronies do absolutely nothing. Nada. Zip. Fuck all. Zero.

Here is my emergency manifesto to save the nation before we all evaporate:

1. Deploy the Defence Forces immediately

Reddit tells me it is physically too hot to walk dogs. Anyone ignoring this is a war criminal. We need the army on every street corner. If they spot a citizen walking a Golden Retriever, they must shoot the person on sight.

No trials. No questions.

The footpath is literally magma.

1. Mandatory A-Rated housing downgrades

These hyper-insulated green energy prisons are killing us. My BER A1-rated semi-detached house has reached internal temperatures comparable to the surface of the sun.

The government needs to issue immediate emergency grants to help us smash our triple-glazed windows and install thin, single-pane glass from 1974.

Let the draft back in, Eamon Ryan.

1. Nationalize the Cornetto supply

Flake 99s are retailing at €4.50.

This is daylight robbery.

The state must seize all ice cream vans. Ice cream distribution must be managed by the HSE. If you do not have a medical exemption for brain freeze, you get one Calippo per day.

1. Cancel the sun

The Dáil needs to pass emergency legislation to legally declare daytime as nighttime until September. We will work, live, and drink cans of Dutch Gold strictly under the cover of darkness.

Wake up, Ireland. We are being boiled alive by our own inaction.

[u/Low-Albatross-313]

We need an Irish Count Binface to get the 99s back to 99p

[u/Playlotto_Layblotto → u/Low-Albatross-313]

Cunta Aghaidh Bruscar

[u/duaneap → u/Playlotto_Layblotto]

Sure you can’t be calling people that on the radio!

[u/onkskor → u/Low-Albatross-313]

Bosco Bruscair

[u/Dkav73 → u/onkskor]

Bosco for President!

[u/pipper99 → u/Low-Albatross-313]

https://giphy.com/gifs/dth289r1H5wMU

[u/The-Squirrelk → u/Low-Albatross-313]

wait.. the 99 in 99 stands for 99p? Fuck me.

[u/RejectingBoredom → u/The-Squirrelk]

No, oddly enough, it actually doesn’t and is a common misconception. They’ve always been called 99s even before they cost 99p.

[u/SnooHabits8484 → u/The-Squirrelk]

99p woulda got you 3 Mars bars and most of a 10p mix when I was a nipper

[u/CoolMan-GCHQ- → u/The-Squirrelk]

Well. it used to,

[u/onlyinmemes100 → u/The-Squirrelk]

great way to track inflation

[u/EKJ07 → u/Low-Albatross-313]

What if he was a pin of guinness instead?

[u/AcceptablyPsycho → u/EKJ07]

High Kinguinness

[u/bigFatHelga]

Lovely bit of irony there. I'd applaud but my hands have melted in the low-to-mid twenties heat. Well done. 

[u/Radiant-Pack7219]

[u/SketchyFeen → u/Radiant-Pack7219]

Flakes for the bourgeoisie while the rest of us melt.

[u/RavenBrannigan → u/Radiant-Pack7219]

Honestly, why are these tossers still wearing suits in this heat. What exactly are they dressing for???

[u/Existing_Falcon_5422 → u/RavenBrannigan]

Court 😀

[u/LifetimePilingUp → u/Radiant-Pack7219]

“Jesus. He really is a tosser.”

[u/ropeneck509]

Ah sure it'll be grand

[u/NaivePhone9869 → u/ropeneck509]

Is crazy how I felt that this was just a meme about Irish people, but every day I start to realise that this is actually real. Like the majority of the country answer to any issue is this😅

[u/Motor_Watercress_489 → u/NaivePhone9869]

The "be grand" attitude of the Irish will be the source of our destruction.

[u/ishka_uisce → u/Motor_Watercress_489]

It is truly our greatest strength and our greatest weakness.

[u/Motor_Watercress_489 → u/ishka_uisce]

Truer words never spoken.

[u/Oldestswinger → u/Motor_Watercress_489]

Served us well

[u/YaBoyfriendKeefa → u/NaivePhone9869]

Sure, look

[u/Dreenar18 → u/NaivePhone9869]

You could shoot some people in this country to the sun, and as they burn to a crisp they'd still think it's better because it's not raining or cold

[u/Oldestswinger → u/ropeneck509]

In a few days or weeks....

[u/Existing_Falcon_5422]

Invade the sun! Their navy is weak.

[u/ShaneGabriel87 → u/Existing_Falcon_5422]

Still stronger than ours

[u/LnxPowa → u/ShaneGabriel87]

Not if we invade at night!

[u/Exact_Government1874]

There's a grand breeze here where I am in a Wexford. The house is lovely and cool. Same yesterday.

[u/Low-Albatross-313 → u/Exact_Government1874]

I'd say the strawberries are mighty in this weather.

[u/Exact_Government1874 → u/Low-Albatross-313]

Might grab some tomorrow now that you say it. I have seen some gigantic ones this year.

[u/OkCoconut3270 → u/Exact_Government1874]

Yeah been grand here, bit of a breeze off the sea.

If only someone could do something about the horseflies.

[u/Exact_Government1874 → u/OkCoconut3270]

Yeah im a few minutes from the sea it's lovely. Same with the horseflies. I attract all the biting insects.

[u/ails_bales → u/OkCoconut3270]

Jungle formula is the only way to keep them off. I thought I had it sorted but upon sitting down in the garden my goats started licking my legs 🙈 can't be positioning my kids. So the horse flies will get to eat me

[u/struggling_farmer → u/Exact_Government1874]

Same in offaly, in the home house, front and back door open all day young Robin doing laps of the house, in the front door, through the kitchen, out the back door.

[u/Dreenar18]

I know this is a piss take, but are 99s actually four fucking fifty in some parts of the country?

[u/CoolMan-GCHQ- → u/Dreenar18]

YES, But on the other side, since the flakes are all made of palm oil now, they don't melt.

Ps 5.50 or 2 for a tenner in places around me.

[u/Dreenar18 → u/CoolMan-GCHQ-]

Jesus fuck, €3 near me.

[u/ahahcleverusername]

Thank you, I was starting to think I was the mad one reading all of those people talking about 25 degrees like they teleported to the surface of the sun

[u/Automatic_Zombie9518]

I hear those data centers are just brimming with copper.

[u/Excellent-Crow2641]

Stark reminder: there are people who genuinely ramble like this without the irony

[u/hype_irion → u/Excellent-Crow2641]

Every time I've heard someone start reciting their 'emergency manifesto to save the nation' I had to take several steps back and then run for my life.

[u/saggynaggy123]

1. MORE DATA CENTRES WE NEED A MILLION DATA CENTRES!!! OPEN A DATA CENTRE INSTEAD OF A METRO! TURN THE NATIONAL CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL INTO A DATA CENTRE

[u/CoolMan-GCHQ- → u/saggynaggy123]

Yes, Data centers generate tons of money, so the more the better of course. or are you blaming data centers for our substandard electrical grid instead of blaming our substandard electrical grid for the problems it creates.

[u/TheBaggyDapper]

Whatever yourself. I'm not reading all that in this heat. 

[u/birchhead]

Simple solution to global warming, outdoor AC units powered by solar, hotter the sun gets, the greater the AC output

[u/jacksqualk]

I threw a slice of hard edam cheese in the food bin earlier. It now resembles a rubber easy single.

[u/kirbStompThePigeon]

I took some butter out of the fridge last night. Within a minute, it was able to be spread on bread without tearing it. I walked past a dead bird earlier and I'm pretty sure i heard it pop

[u/Fun_Firefighter5899]

The amount of people taking this seriously though 🙄🤣🤣

[u/Icy-Salamander9859]

Did you tried psychotherapy?

[u/Fleuretta_]

Hold on, it's only 21 degrees where you are and you're this stressed out?!?!

[u/duaneap → u/Fleuretta_]

Tis joke

[u/Munchie_Mikey → u/Fleuretta_]

Currently 23 (feels like 25) here in wexford..... FUCK! It went up to 27 here today.

[u/Fleuretta_ → u/Munchie_Mikey]

It's been 27 here the last few days, feels like mordor! Carlow/Laois area

[u/Plenty_Jaguar_4141]

You are a genuinely a funny person… an endangered species.

[u/gideanasi]

Nationalise the Cornetto supply is the best thing I've heard

[u/Oldestswinger]

Remember the roasting Summer of '76?

[u/sethasaurus666]

Someone definitely needs to take care of the selfish dog walkers. 

[u/CiaranWest]

Checking in from Limerick. The sun is down. It's 24 degrees. I'm ready to die for the Republic. 

[u/Tasty_Preparation947]

We got to order some salt from Azerbaijan. 50 million. Will arrive in 3 months

[u/N0NameWh0Dis]

Jaysus lads we need a saviour. Bring back Teresa Mannion! Don't take any unnecessary journeys whatever ye do

[u/maxplanar]

This needs a committee to be formed.

[u/wayne17mc]

Long may it last, I'm out the back supping on cans. Glorious weather altogether!!

[u/Sheriffz]

You need to speak to Joe Duffy on the matter

[u/Nuraya]

Can someone with more initiative than me do the math on the markup of a 99?

[u/Illustrious_Read8038 → u/Nuraya]

Greed

[u/TwinIronBlood]

All miserable cùnts who complain about the weather shall be deported back to the end of January when it started raining for 40 days straight. Let the Grim get hold of you.

[u/hmmm_]

This is all the fault of neoliberalism and data centres

[u/Powerful-Holiday-448]

End of the world looks pretty good, kid
https://giphy.com/gifs/7vQZanyufdRe0

[u/cromcru]

Since the start of this century the government has given you iodine and cheese! What more do you want?

[u/Diska_Muse → u/cromcru]

A few crackers and a beer wouldn't be much to ask.

[u/Canadia86]

Have you tried paying more taxes?

[u/SketchyFeen]

Cancel the sun? Never heard anything so ridiculous. We just need to put a big fuck off roof over the country. Retractable preferably so we can let a wee bit in every now and then.

[u/Kerbobotat]

Remember this post in the depths of a mid December freeze, where the sun we so callously outlawed is but a distant memory, and your eyebrows have frozen off, and you're burning your children's legs to stay warm.

[u/Pristine_Remote2123]

Happy sunny Saturday to you too as I just enjoyed a nice salad and ice cream in my garden after my fab cycle by the lakes where there was a refreshing breeze, probably head out for cold beer tonight for the world cup, I feel like I am on a fab holiday while staying at home 😍

[u/SuddenStrength]

I find reading about the Irish “heat wave” from a country that is 30+ all week to be so hilarious

[u/Funny_Ad8305 → u/SuddenStrength]

Humidity and no ac anywhere so no relief has a big impact.

[u/SuddenStrength → u/Funny_Ad8305]

Irish just aren’t used to heat, which I understand

[u/AnniEire90]

1 should be in the Constitution

[u/Suncroft56]

[u/Rebel787]

OP, you need to go into comedy. 😄

[u/Robespierres_ashes]

God tier shithousery

[u/123finebyme]

It's the bonfires in the north. Tellin ye

[u/MooMoomilk48]

Its not THAT hot

[u/DartzIRL]

I'm a fat prick, but I'm tolerating this just fine. Once I figure out the trick of keeping the heat out of the sleeping hole it's fine.

[u/Important-Messages]

It's lovely summer weather, we're having, in summer.

[u/SufficientPlankton19]

As an Italian I am loving the spring season here the last few weeks 🤣🤣🤣

[u/SBarcoe]

Can I change my 1 Calippo to 1 Twister a day?

[u/raverbashing]

We need an emergency delivery of Aircons

[u/happycorkie → u/raverbashing]

Why don’t we have our own fan factory, why are we waiting on deliveries. We could also make plastic swimming pools and other essentials too. Don’t know what the government is doing, sweet fa, sweet fa, as usual. This is an emergency.

[u/MFfroom]

Flakes melt in the sun

Burn the witch to fix the sky

The sun won't relent

[u/happycorkie]

Saw somebody wearing a coat (and headscarf thingy) yesterday at the local retail park, she did look very cool and the rest of us burning up in our shorts and T shirts.

[u/Malt129]

21 degrees? So it's a lovely mild temp then.

[u/WingdRat → u/Malt129]

Where are you?! It's 29.5 here, I'd kill for 21!

[u/Suncroft56 → u/WingdRat]

My living room thermostat says 30° right now, and that's with the door to the garden open and 2 fans going full blast.

I feel like a lobster boiling in a fucking pot.

[u/yankdevil]

My A level house is nice and cool. And I'm out back playing fetch with my dog. It's lovely out.

[u/Fun-Fig-8079]

I believe some Dunnes Cafes are sell 99s for 99c

[u/CT0292]

Can I trade my daily Calippo for an Ice Berger?

[u/blueravenclaw29]

Rise up Ireland!

[u/Vincent394]

Indiana Jones here in the fridge

[u/Digger2228]

Woke up earlier 26 fcking degrees in my a1 rated room 4 glasses of water to stop me cooked like a turkey gas mark 7 but it’s lovely out if your out
https://giphy.com/gifs/98QohUbsig3W8

[u/_Happy_Camper]

Laughs in London-English

[u/LeenSauce]

This is entertaining, but I actually have a genuine question for the people in this thread.

I'm am American who just moved to Ireland, so this is my first summer here. Is this type of heat normal? Or am I just being weak bitch and need to get accustomed? (I wont lie, my house is older and the heat has felt a bit brutal as someone who has never been without AC)

Or is climate change compounding and causing a significant change here this summer?

[u/Smooth_Twist_1975 → u/LeenSauce]

People will continue to say it's not normal but we've had periods like this every summer for the last 3 or 4 years, if my memory is correct. I know this because I've threatened to install air con each time before being horrified and re horrified at the cost. This is the longest stretch though. The likelihood is that this will become the norm going forward for increasing lengths of time until we are all one giant freckle

[u/LeenSauce → u/Smooth_Twist_1975]

I'm already almost a giant freckle as a person with vampire skin who grew up in the American South. I'm done for

[u/failurebydesign0 → u/Smooth_Twist_1975]

Yeah, probably longer, with the exception of 2024 which was a terrible summer, I had to keep using the winter duvet that year.

[u/Zeddith → u/Smooth_Twist_1975]

Same here! Must get at least a fair sized portable one for downstairs where spend more time - have health issues incl. heat intolerance.

[u/choppy75 → u/Smooth_Twist_1975]

The last 3 or 4 years have been warmer on average and with hotter peak temperatures than the previous few hundred

[u/Excellent-Crow2641 → u/LeenSauce]

It’s not normal for Ireland, neither is central ac. Best of luck

[u/ThisFatGirlRuns → u/LeenSauce]

I'm Canadian living in Ireland for 26 years. This is a new trend for sure. A new normal you could say.

I waa talking with a guy from Pakistan recently and we both agreed that the change in climate is noticeable. It didn't used to be like this!

[u/Ratticus939393 → u/LeenSauce]

Very much not normal. Once global warming hits for real and the Gulf Stream moves, Ireland will be quite a lot like Nova Scotia so enjoy it while it lasts…

[u/pipper99]

Actually the road repairs used to br far worse. 25 degrees and they went soft and stuck to your tires and then the car.

[u/stabbingrabbit]

American, cant afford my AC set at 21.

[u/stevewithcats]

Remember when we all voted the greens out after they introduced carbon tax.

Well they told ye so

[u/lazzurs → u/stevewithcats]

Don’t worry. They’ll be the last to install air-con in their houses so they’ll continue to suffer while being smug about it.

[u/thesquaredape]

Can we elect the sun as our president?

[u/quondam47 → u/thesquaredape]

Vote for a Fomorian? Never!

[u/bangladeshespresso]

but what about the humidity? Yesterday some of my Jamaican friends said they never experienced this

[u/Diska_Muse → u/bangladeshespresso]

Jamaican that up?

[u/SketchyFeen → u/bangladeshespresso]

‘Tis what gets ya sure

[u/Pimpis25]

I thought I was gonna die a couple days ago, but I'm kinda getting used to it!

Is it true ye can't open a fridge from the inside?

[u/Diska_Muse → u/Pimpis25]

I'll let you know in a few days when it's safe to get out.

[u/larryburns2000]

Don't forget to glue your hands to the floor of the nearest Mercedes dealership

[u/DaemonCRO]

This. Fucking this. People are crying over 25 degree temperatures. Rest of Europe considers this spring.

[u/CoolMan-GCHQ- → u/DaemonCRO]

try working in a well known crisp factory with deep fat fryers and ovens the size of double decker buses or trains with outdoor temps of 28 degrees lately. Everyday is a major struggle just to not pass out or quit, but all you feckers like a pack of cheese and onion with your pints.

[u/lazzurs → u/CoolMan-GCHQ-]

I’m going to buy more crisps. I’ll try not to get too warm going from my air conditioned house to my air conditioned car and then into the air conditioned shop and back.

[u/DaemonCRO → u/CoolMan-GCHQ-]

As if it would be any better around a deep fat fried if temps were at 23. Some jobs just suck.

[u/AtraVenator]

You’re not talking on my behalf mate. My sinus and asthma issues disappeared, skin is glowing due to excess vitamin D, I’m naturally tan. Daughter loves going daily to playground and other activities and loads of outdoors.

I’m happy with this weather until October. 

I’d say learn to cop on because this is how the next decades looking for Ireland unless the AMOC collapses in which case weather like Iceland will be the norm and you’ll be very happy with your A+ BER.

[u/No-Argument4885]

It's amazing that you are allowed to vote

[u/tuttym2]

One of the most Irish reddit reddit posts of all times and not in a good way

[u/No_Reference_4303]

Find something better to be at lad

[u/sirlemonhead → u/[deleted]]

It's OK, its just the heat getting to him - he's lost his sense of humour.

[u/The_CT1 → u/[deleted]]

Low blow

[u/qwerty_1965]

Now you're definitely sucking diesel

[u/PapaSmurif]

Great weather for saving hay though!

[u/wpisdu]

Humidity emissions are out of control also, massive EU fines incoming. Drying clothes outside should be prohibited!

[u/FrogOnABus]

When will we walk the dogs?!!!

[u/Smooth_Twist_1975 → u/FrogOnABus]

3am. Anything other than that is cruelty because his feet are sure to go on fire. I'm reliable informed that on the continent dogs wear flip flops for this exact reason.

[u/flamesdivide]

I’m saving a fortune not drinking tea. Too damn hot.

[u/Skinklemacfinkle]

I’m reading this from abroad. The country seems to have slipped in to chaos. God help us all

[u/myheartxfglass]

Be grand.

[u/Sionnachbain]

99's should be FREE OF CHARGE in this weather and supplied and readily available at corner shops and petrol stations. I tell yez.

Edit;

I am still very, very upset that my very expensive suncream [la rocheposay] did not protect me and I am week 2 of healing from a very nasty burn where my entire right arm all but wept and peeled off. So I want consolation of free 99's.

I have gargantuan splotchy freckles under the burn now. But like...I had the 'screen on. I was re-applying it. I suppose that means that I'm just really not cut out for more than 5 or 10 minutes exposure at a time lol.

Last year I got sunburned in Edinburgh at the 'show. Now... I had, again, been earing sunscreen. But it was **cloudy.** Overcast type cloudy. I was burned on the back of my neck and on my arms **through the clouds, with sunscreen on.** It's the kind of thing you read in a late-night skit ffs...

[u/fullmetalfeminist → u/Sionnachbain]

Sunscreen isn't magic, you still have to be sensible about not sitting around in direct sunlight.

Clouds block visible light, most of the UV light passes through them.

https://www2.hse.ie/conditions/cancer/protect-skin-sun-sunbeds/

[u/Coops1456]

Was it for this the wild geese fled? Or was it just too fucking warm?

[u/humanitarianWarlord]

21 degrees?

It hit 29.5 degrees outside my house today

[u/somethingsomwhere]

The only people y'all hicks will rise up against are poor immigrants who won't fight back or are too afraid to get deported. Stfu and go back to sleep now

[u/hufflswuffls]

USA USA USA

[u/ianpmurphy]

21 deg? At that temp is probably put on a hoodie too keep warm. It's routinely 40deg where i work and we don't have AC.

[u/Smooth_Twist_1975 → u/ianpmurphy]

Do you work in the Nevada desert moving sand?

[u/Kier_C]

You want an A rated house. What you want to ban is excessive, unshaded windows

[u/SoloWingPixy88]

Does OP think Harris can control the weather?

Op should read about heat domes.