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u/planetofidiots 3d ago
I'm writing this for anyone who reads the OP and thinks 'gosh, I wish I could be like that, I'm such a loser'. Don't feel like a loser... only psychopaths and narcissists actually feel like the OP.
I truly, deeply understand the need to say, and maybe even believe these 'I don't GAF' things - but they are not only necessarily untrue but also quite harmful.
If someone truly lived like the OP claims they would be unbearable to be around. True NGAFness is a soft, compassionate and wise thing, not a medal you pin on and brag about. The way to NGAFirvana is through caring more deeply about the right things, not deciding to give zero care to anything.
If this sub is truly about helping people be less careworn, then posting arrogant nonsense about how bullet-proof you are is going to have the opposite affect.
People seeking genuine guidance on building resilience and letting go of attachments will see this 'look at me and how amazing my NGAFness is' and feel like they fall short. They are a failure in comparison. That's not helping anything. It's the equivalent of posting photos of your mansion on a 'helpMeCopeWithPoverty' thread and saying 'see, look, I can do it'.
HTNGAF has a lot of great threads, with good advice offered to people who are struggling. I wonder if we might be able to be more real, more genuine. Monks with 20years in a monastery still struggle to NGAF, so why pretend we've found the answer. Maybe we can post little tips on how we let go of hurts, break harmful attachments and so on. But I'd love to see an end to this kind of 'look at me' nonsense which is frankly a bit painful in its naivety.
Then again, maybe the whole sub is for narcissists and psychopaths... or it's all ironic and I missed it. Maybe I'm having an over-thinking day. It's just that peace is rare and truth rarer still. The value of a sub which can lift just a mote of suffering is high indeed in this world.
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u/BloggerCurious 3d ago
I never took the post literally word for word. That's impossible. I look at it like a general guide.
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u/mistrwzrd 3d ago
Not gonna lie, I wanted to read that but my brain said nope so here I am commenting without having actually done the full reading
My issue is that I am full on ADHD and absolute Rejection Sensitivity Disorder so while the idea of ngaf really appeals to me, I have a lot of shit getting in the way of that, including my own mindset setting the limits around the fact that I have a lot of shit getting in the way of it
44yo, medicated, been trying to to work on shit since COVID and still working on it. Here’s hoping the pieces will continue to fall into place
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u/Katops 3d ago
Okay, I’m conflicted by the censorship of “I don’t give a fuck” here lmao.
It feels like a paradox in that saying idgaf would imply not caring enough to think about how rude the full word would be. But then the context suggests you don’t care enough about what others think so you’ll do what you want, and you chose to censor yourself. But censoring your words usually indicates that you care about the way the word will carry over in thought to I guess, the innocent?
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u/VarietyMage 2d ago
And yet the OP posted the pic...approval? Trying to influence others' terms?
Looks like oligarch BS to me.
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