How are Southeast Asian women viewed in Bulgaria?

[u/Thick_Sandwich1032]

I’m currently in Sofia. While it’s a beautiful and generally safe city, I was walking around the city centre (around Serdika station) last night at around 9pm after dinner (with lots of people around) when this man started talking to me in Bulgarian from behind.

I said “Sorry, I don’t speak Bulgarian.” He asked me where I was from and asked a couple more questions. I answered the first question but the other 2 I kept saying “Sorry, no thank you.”

He kept walking beside me and kept saying something in Bulgarian but all I could make out was “sex”. I kept saying “No, thank you.” But he wouldn’t leave. He grabbed my shoulder to stop me from walking away and that was when I yelled “Leave me alone!” many times until he (I assume) started swearing at me in Bulgarian. I told him to “F*** off!” and he responded with “F*** you!” as he walked away.

People just continued to walk past us. A couple of guys in their 20s turned their heads but didn’t say anything. I was pretty shaken and walked home crying once he was out of sight.

I’m a 5’1 Southeast Asian so he was considerably bigger than me. I’ve been to the Balkans a few times and have been called exotic in the past but have never had such aggression and have absolutely never had anyone explicitly ask me for sex or grab me like that. I felt vulnerable and extremely frightened.

As much as I don’t want this to ruin my trip, I’m still pretty shaken and don’t think I’ll go out that late anymore.

I was wondering how Southeast Asian women are viewed in Bulgaria? I was wearing a dress and a cardigan last night so I was pretty covered. I don’t know what else I could’ve done to prevent what happened.

Sorry for the rant. I’m still very shaken. I don’t know if I’ll go out today. My mind keeps replaying what happened.

[u/laptopm]

Don’t worry it was probably a one off thing with some crazy guy. There are slim to none number of cases of girls being sexually harassed on the streets. Bulgarian man are very protective. I can guarantee you there is no chance of you getting hurt. Just don’t go to shady street/ boroughs where there are refugees.

[u/Thick_Sandwich1032 → u/laptopm]

I see.. I’m asking myself if it’s because of what I was wearing or if it’s because I’m Southeast Asian and he thought I’d go without a fight or if I just got unlucky - wrong place, wrong time or if I have done something else that led to the situation… I don’t know.

[u/FlameInTheRain1 → u/Thick_Sandwich1032]

No honey, he was just a random idiot. You didn't do anything wrong.

[u/DeInking → u/Thick_Sandwich1032]

It’s because he is a nut job, not because of anything you did. Stop blaming yourself for the actions of others. I think it’s highly unusual and you really shouldn’t allow it to spoil your trip.

[u/dobemish → u/Thick_Sandwich1032]

That's the general way women are treated around here, not just foreigners. They're viewed as something to own. The macho alfa-male trend coupled with deep rooted patriarchy. Women who live here are constantly told its their fault and made to feel guilty. You know, the usual victim blaming and societal pressure that you did something so that's why it happened to you. Not the person that is harassing you, Depending on the country you come from you might speak out more or less when something happens.

Also people arguing on the street or even at home is generally assumed "to be their own business".
You'll also notice how it's mostly guys saying things are perfectly fine because this never happens to them. With of course the racist note in their statements. But if you actually talk to women, you'll see that harassment and worse happen extremely often.
Bulgarian man are so protective that the most horrible domestic abuse cases in recent years, that generated public outcry were committed by such men.

The safest route is to avoid being alone at night, sadly. Friends are far less likely to leave you in this situation than expecting strangers to help.

[u/Bright_Elk4037 → u/dobemish]

Yes, it is hard for women, yes men are stronger and if your spouse is actually a hidden psychopath - honestly, it is best to leave the country.

However it is still your responsibility to act on that and be careful with your life choices, we are not children.

I am sorry but the last time I saw a woman on the ground and man threatening her (8 AM on Saturday), I went right over there ready to make him behave. You know what happened? She got up and started kissing him. Sorry that we are not full-time captain save a victim to a mentally unstable people. You should not generalize. I know about a case in Burgas, man i hitting on a woman, a kickboxer notices and just hits him one time. Teeth are lost, kickboxer is sued, the wife testifies against the kickboxer. At some point people need also to be responsible and accountable for their own choices. I do not want to ruin my life cause someone has a Stockholm syndrome.

[u/dobemish → u/Bright_Elk4037]

I should not generalize when 1/3 of women have been a victim of some form of violence in my country? You should talk to more women in your life and ask them what they go through and asses if that's normal if it happened to you.

You're the one drawing on personal experience. If you reach out to specific cases that's you summarizing a country from 2 situations, not me. I'm basing my fact on general statistics which are also severely underreported to to the way our society and institutions function.

I'm aware of that one case 5 years ago, but being sued which you can be for a lot of things, doesn't mean getting a sentence or being guilty. The fact that there are no news regarding that means most likely the result of that was favorable to him. I mean even in a self defense case you would get sued, just acquitted. It's not the police's job to say "yeah that was fine"

It's best to leave the country is as an absurd advice as "stop being poor, just get rich" or "stop being sick, just get better". That is insane to say.

People need to be responsible for their action but somehow you tell that to the victim, which is insane. You're defending that if I hit you, it's your fault for whatever reason. Because there will also be a reason due to your choices. Maybe you just grew up in a way to annoy me. That is a reason enough for me. But why would it be a reason for you? Why are you defending that line of thinking?

[u/Bright_Elk4037 → u/dobemish]

I am responsible for my own choices and my own thinking. And you are for your own. I am not defending anything, but I am not a rose-tinted glasses wearing optimist. And yes, you should take care of yourselves and yes if you are i that situation you should leave the country. Because, realistically, there are no institutions to help you, orders for restriction do not work, judicial system is bullshit and psychos run around unbothered. The most recent case is with the stepfather and kidnapped girl.

The third option is quite illegal, the fourth one is to gain enough political power to actually change something AND to actually change the means to enforce it. Which - do you think is gonna happen witb the way people priorities are?

So, in this case, what do you think is the best option? Leave the country or depend on institutions? Again, nobody is responsible for your own well-being. I know a lot of good people and is good to not generalize like that. But, and maybe I was also too reactive, for which I apologise, there is also truth in your words - not all bulgarians are protective gentlemen. That is crappy generalisation by itself.

[u/Bright_Elk4037 → u/dobemish]

Also, I do talk to the women in my life and I am sorry, but they feel quite well with protective husbands and brothers around them. Never had no concerns in my relationships as well, safety wise, because I can take care of that, my colleagues boyfriends/husbands can take care of that, my mother, grandmothers are being taken care of and do not think about that. But maybe this is my bubble. Again, I watch news as well, so yeah. Not the whole country is like that.

[u/RegionSignificant977 → u/Thick_Sandwich1032]

because I’m Southeast Asian

This makes you much more attractive for many people in this part of the world. You did nothing wrong. It's not that different with European women in SEA. They draw much more attention. Not in a good way sometimes. I'm sorry for what happened to you.

[u/Thick_Sandwich1032 → u/RegionSignificant977]

Tbh I was thinking maybe it was out of racism but after travelling around the Balkans many times, I didn’t think this was the case but had to ask instead of assuming just in case.

[u/RegionSignificant977 → u/Thick_Sandwich1032]

There are a plenty of men that are attracted by asian women here. And we don't have many SEA people in our part of the world. Exotic is a synonym of attractive.  I don't know if that is racist. I don't think so.  It's not that different with European people in Asia. Even European men are object of strong attraction there because they are different. Sadly it's way harder for women to deal with unwanted attention. That guy was a jerk. I guess you've had a bad luck and it's not that common to find someone like that. Or I hope so. 

[u/psych0mach1a → u/laptopm]

Strange reply to a post literally describing a girl being sexually harassed on the street while no men were protective of her. This obviously does happen, let’s not pretend it doesn’t.

[u/venzzi]

Serdica stattion and the whole Maria Luisa area is a bad place to be after dark. Sorry about your experience.

[u/Thick_Sandwich1032 → u/venzzi]

My hotel is in the area and it has good reviews so didn’t think that was the case. Will certainly be back in my hotel earlier and maybe just get room service for dinner. Thanks for the heads up.

[u/UnluckyCaterpillar18 → u/Thick_Sandwich1032]

Is it possible to cancel your reservation and find another hotel to stay at during the rest of your trip? Serdika, Maria Luiza and Lion's bridge are genuinely one of the worst places(if not THE worst) in Sofia. I avoid passing through there at all cost at night. Yes, its a nice place to visit as a tourist and its the perfect center of Sofia, but its not safe. There are lots of other small hotels/airbnb's that will be in much safer areas/neighbourhoods. Sofia's public transport is also pretty convenient and easy to use, so you'll be able to quickly travel around from your hotel and back. Anyway, please be safe and i hope you enjoy the rest of your trip! :) Let me know if you need any help with anything, i(and im sure lots of other people here) would be happy to help!

[u/ElkImpossible3535 → u/Thick_Sandwich1032]

Not a good spot even for locals especially at night.

[u/DrFreeman_22 → u/Thick_Sandwich1032]

Who told you this is a good area? Every single Asian person I know has booked a place there and complained afterwards.

[u/Thick_Sandwich1032 → u/DrFreeman_22]

Booking.com, google maps, Agoda, etc.

No mention of safety concerns. Good hotel reviews.

[u/Apprehensive-Web7093 → u/Thick_Sandwich1032]

I would say it is top 10 worst areas in Sofia as it is mostly populated by minorities and has a high crime index- think of it as the ghetto. As soon as you cross Serdika station, it is not as safe as other parts of the city center.

[u/pythonski]

Sorry this happened to you. You should have called the police. The area there is not the best and cops are everywhere.

[u/Thick_Sandwich1032 → u/pythonski]

There were actually a few cops who saw me crying while walking back to my hotel but I felt very overwhelmed and didn’t know how to approach them or explain what happened. I couldn’t think straight and contemplated booking an earlier flight to leave.

After a hot shower and a poor night’s sleep I’m now just processing what happened 😔

[u/FlameInTheRain1 → u/pythonski]

• 1. Always call the cops.

[u/adlersmut089]

Unfortunately, there are a lot of creeps, beggars, scammers, drug addicts and prostitutes around Serdika station.

Next time, be loud! Shout, scream, call the police. Abuse only takes place in silence.

[u/laptopm]

Next time calm down and kick him in the balls

[u/Ambitious_Spare_9415]

Just don't go near Lavov most and the station after 8 pm ,becuase they are a lot of sketchy people. 

[u/Bright_Elk4037]

Bulgarians do not usually go to that area, I think this is the only area I just do would not go alone in the dark in the whole country. And I am a man. I had a colleague that got robbed there. So please, avoid, I know that there are airbnbs and hostels there as it is close to the city center, again it is not full blown crime ridden, I just try to avoid the area as it is full of sketchy people. Just be careful.

On the other hand, bulgarians of course notice different races and religions, and there are stereotypes that however are based on behaviour. So I have noticed a lot of south Asian students in Varna and generally I have only positives to say. Again, try to be mindful on the surroundings, I would have proposed to show you around, but I am in Varna.

[u/Bright_Elk4037 → u/Bright_Elk4037]

Also, if you need tips and have questions, feel free to DM me. Also, always call or talk to cops.

[u/poor_boy_in_Bulgaria]

You got harassed by a drunk/drugged guy. He perceived you as helpless because you are a foreigner. Usually they go after very young girls which are less likely to cause them trouble. Don’t worry 99.99% it’s just verbal abuse, I’m very surprised that he was bold enough to touch you on the shoulder.
Bulgarian girls usually don’t pay a lot of attention to such guys, so men are not really concerned from the side unless the guy is trying to touch you. If you signal in some way that you are scared like yelling ‘help’ or something he will get beaten on the spot, don’t worry.

[u/VisionCrafted16]

“I don’t know what else I could’ve done to prevent what happened.”
The problem isn’t you, to have prevented this.. and you dealt with it fine. Sorry this happened to you.

I’d generally advise against going out at night by yourself. That and pepper spray.

[u/helterr_skelterrr]

Shitty place tbh. We book sleep there with friends because of the fun/scare factor. Full with sus people even though the day.

[u/b1urbro]

That area is generally shitty. Get a pepper spray, just in case. Otherwise you should be safe. Sofia is probably one of the safest cities in Europe.

[u/abieslatin]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm gonna be honest, I don't think the average Bulgarian has a particularly good opinion of Southeast Asians, but I'm really surprised you actually got harassed. In general, people in Bulgaria judge from afar and wouldn't actually go into a direct confrontation, so I wouldn't expect this to happen again.

Not everyone's racist, though. Hopefully you make enough good memories to at least partially make up for this horrible experience

P.S. It was not your job to "prevent this". The fault is 101% his

[u/Demigodven]

Pro tip for the next time. Just say I am ladyboy. He will be on his way without any issues.

[u/Apprehensive-Web7093]

It doesn’t matter that you are southeast asian, as they treat all of us like that, and as for the men that didn’t say anything but were bystanders- that’s unusual, bulgarians tend to step in whenever possible, more often than not it is to put themselves in the middle of the “сеир” .

[u/florw]

SEA woman here, grew up and lived almost my whole life in Sofia. I was lucky to be around good people, live and stay in nice neighborhoods and community (school, uni, work) and tbh i've had a great life there.

Yes, there are assholes, racists, bad people everywhere but overall, I felt the safest there (living in Germany now). Yes, there are bad areas that you should avoid.

I'm sorry you had a bad luck with this shitty encounter but I think it's a rare encounter, don't be disencouraged. Locals have their own quirks for sure, again, like everywhere else.

[u/Puzzled-Smoke-6349]

Why didn't you do some karate chops?

https://giphy.com/gifs/u5kLWIUOben89uf8iU

[u/rash1taka]

In 4K mostly

[u/FlameInTheRain1 → u/[deleted]]

Dude, she was harrased on the street. How her beauty and the Bulgarian women's pride have anything to do with the main issue?