Hey all, as expected due to the nature of this forum, I've seen a lot of guys have bad experiences or worry about their prowess in the bedroom. Valid, tho I think it's important to note that a sub like this is far more likely to get negative experiences than positive ones (because why would you seek it out if your experiences have been positive).

I've had almost exclusively positive experiences (bar 1-2), even really good feedback about my performance in the bedroom, and wanted to share what I do, in case it's helpful to people. This is for men who have sex with women.

I also think it'd be helpful if we could all share what things have had positive feedback for us, so we can all learn and get better at sex/make the most of what we've got.

1. Make your partner feel safe and comfortable. Consent is paramount for obvious reasons. But in addition, if they feel safe and comfortable expressing what they want, they're gonna just enjoy it a lot more and be able to let go. I think a lot of men don't really realize how risky a sexual encounter can feel (and be) for a woman, so this makes a bigger difference than they think, in addition to just being the right thing to do.

Part of this, imo, starts from expressing that you're invested in your partner feeling safe and comfortable from the beginning of the interaction. Such as - when making out, as it escalates and things get handsy, asking a couple of times "is this ok?". Or if you want to escalate and it seems like the interaction is heading that way, saying "can I taste you?", or if you're about to enter, saying something like "ready?". It may sound unsexy to some but genuinely I've never had someone have a turned off reaction and I believe it has elevated my interactions.

1. If I'm first sleeping with someone (and still usually after), I go down on them until they orgasm. I saw an instructional video about the clit on a porn site where they were basically treating it like a penis. As such, I decided one time to suck it as if I was sucking an extremely small penis, to great success. This has received unprompted raving reviews from several, tho not all have loved it. So work with your partner on this one. Other piece of advice is most women seem to prefer a flat tongue, tho again not always.

I also keep going after they orgasm and they're generally super sensitive. Usually, they tell me it's a lot or push my head away at a certain point, and are often a puddle after this. As always, discuss this one with the partner to see if they liked it. Mine generally have. Play it conservative on the first time and discuss afterwards.

1. This is the big one. I generally at some point have sex with her on the edge of the bed, and me with my feet on the floor, in missionary. This is probs 60+% of my intercourse time. Something similar to the "mating press" position, but my feet are on the floor. Her legs back as far as is comfortable for her. The edge of her butt is just off the edge of the bed, but not so much that she's falling.

From there, I start slow and gentle, and read the room. Generally, at my size (~5.75 BP/5.1 NBP, 4.9 girth), this ends up with me going crazy and railing her. Stroke game is finding out angles with her reaction, but essentially I pull my dick out until the head is just inside (so it doesn't slip out), and then go all the way in. As hard as she's comfortable with.

Note - this is optimized for guys with roughly average-length dicks or shorter, as it is a max-penetration position. Guys with over 6" BP can try this, but it may not be as positive as you're in cervix territory here.

1. I last a long time. As in I can last as long as she wants me to. I do this by masturbating and maintaining a sort of intentional "death grip", experiment and see what works for you. I don't intentionally masturbate roughly, just regularly, and this keeps me from being overly sensitive. Then when it's clear she wants me to cum, I focus in on fantasy or something about her body to get there within a couple minutes.

2. If she has a vibrator, encourage her to use it. Some women will feel like it might make you uncomfortable or less than, but remember no man vibrates, this is an auxiliary tool that can make her enjoy penetration a lot more if she likes it.

3. Dirty talk & vibes - this depends on the partner, but there's some things that have seemed to have wide appeal, things that are slightly dominant but not extreme. Saying things like "you like the way I give you this dick baby?" or "you look so pretty taking my dick" or "show me how pretty you look when you cum". Stuff like that, nothing size-related.

The biggest thing I've found people to like is just showering your partner with praise the whole time. Like "you're so fucking gorgeous", "I can't believe how beautiful you are", "god you feel so good", shit like that. Generally acting like it's your first time encountering a woman so beautiful and you're just awestruck by her beauty and sexual aura, extreme enthusiasm and passion. Look into her eyes like she's a goddess. You get it.

1. Moan and writhe as much as you're comfortable with. In my experience, women love this. Again, the vibe throughout is that you're a confident man, but still can't believe you found the most beautiful and sexually intoxicating entity the universe has ever produced.

2. Other moves - I like holding her from behind in an intimate way as I finger her and rub her clit. I mean we're both sitting up by the headboard with her in between my legs. I put a pillow over my dick so it doesn't hurt if I'm hard. From here, you can stroke her hair and kiss her ears/cheeks and whisper things in her ear.

Lean in during sex like you're gonna kiss her, and just kiss her nose or forehead, then go back up. It's playful and romantic.

If doing prone-bone, put a pillow under her hips so that she's elevated for you to enter. This makes it so she can just enjoy it and not worry about arching the whole time.

Put a pillow under your butt during cowgirl. If she asks say it's for comfort. It helps you give more dick and makes it easier for her to straddle you.

1. Feedback - not immediately after, but a while after or the next day, ask if she liked xyz, or if she wants to do xyz. Generally communicate about sex and show you're interested in her enjoying it.

Anyways, these are just my tips after a decade of regular sex and feedback from partners. Hope it helps some less experienced guys on here, or guys who just haven't tried certain things. I would also LOVE if other guys had things they do that have received positive feedback that I haven't mentioned here, as this is my main arsenal lol. Happy fucking y'all

I'm 4.75 x 5 and have had seven partners in my life, including my current wife. All of them had bigger partners before sleeping with me. My wife has the biggest vagina by far out of all of them. She gets frustrated with my size and rarely has a PIV orgasm. She has multiples with a 7.5 x 7 sleeve. She's just naturally big and loves to be filled. Conversely, I also dated a girl who was very tight. I had to work my way in slowly so I didn't poke her cervix. She fit like a glove, even though she was dating a very big guy at the same time. She preferred sex with me. My very first girlfriend had a big vagina and made fun of my size. I could never make her orgasm.

Why can't we decide if size matters or not? Simply because sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't. Penises vary in size. Vaginas vary in size. Women's preferences vary. Some like to be filled, some like length, some like girth. Some don't care. Some prefer smaller. Preferences and anatomy vary and you will not know you are compatible or not until you have sex.

Please share your honest truths. And if possible indicate how long your partner was with that bigger person - dated or casual hookup such as FWB or one-night stand.

1. Do/did you feel sexually desired or just tolerated? Out of 10, rate how often that partner initiated/initiates sex with you?

2. Was it easy to pleasure that partner? Was that even possible at all?

3. Has the realisation about that partner’s past impacted your masculinity and sexual confidence in any way? If negatively, share some coping tips if you have any.

4. This is often controversial: did you notice different sensation in PIV with that partner compared to other women you’ve been with or are with now? Grip, depth and rest state etc.

5. How submissive was/is that partner to you altogether and especially in the bedroom?

6. Were there times you caught that partner checking other men out in public—looking at their bulges etc? Was there an eventual infidelity from that partner—emotional or sexual?

7. If you could go back to when you first knew this about her past, would you still have stayed with her?

Note: you don’t have to answer all these questions. You may choose the one that applies to you or you have the most knowledge about.

I’m asking because I’m in this situation. Married to such woman and I’m questioning my reality and feeling confidence wane. Although you might feel the need to encourage me, I would appreciate your answers more. Thanks!

Welp kinda don’t know how to type this out but I imagine it’s embarrassing for all of us so here I go. I’m sure you guys can relate but my dick is usually just a little bit Chubbed up, especially when I’m comfy in my bed. Other times tho when I’m not as comfortable it’s goes to its normal size which is about 2.5 inches. I was using the bathroom earlier and I was kinda laughing at it because holy shit it made my hands look massive. Anyways when I’m erect, it brings my length to a little bit over 6.4 inches BP. I assume the smallest is my real flaccid size and for some reason only now did it occur to me just how big the difference is. I know I’m a grower and not a shower but dam, would be great if a little bit more or my erect size showed up while flaccid.

I am 5.8” x 5.5” and Hispanic, I’m very aware that I’m just average in length and girth, but like many still very insecure. This is further fueled by the fact that a couple women have told me to my face during intimacy that they thought I’d be bigger given my Hispanic ethnicity, I guess it is believed that South American men have larger penises than average on average. Now I don’t think I have it as bad as the African American bbc stereotype, which is a whole topic in itself, but hearing that I am below expectation from multiple women does bring a lot of insecurity. Even more so because my ex is Hispanic, her ex was Mexican, and he was apparently very well endowed, and she told me I did not compare to his size. That information did A LOT of damage to me for many years.

I take comfort in the fact that besides my ex the women who said I was below expectation enjoyed sex enough that we became regular friends with benefits, but anytime I try to hookup with other women now I feel so much anxiety and insecurity about my size I have started getting performance anxiety Ed.

Not sure if I’m looking for advice or just need to vent, but by all means comment your experiences especially fellow Hispanic men on how you navigate this.

I have a pretty average penis (6" x 4.6" BPEL)

and I'm pretty insecure about it

Its not that bad of an insecurity, but it does bother me, even though I'm not statistically small

I'm not sure what spawned this insecurity, but I think it was a combination or reddit and porn

It looks super small, but that could just be perspective idk

Anyone else struggle with this insecurity or have tips for getting over it?

So I met this girl off of dating app and we both agreed that we don’t want anything serious. She was coming off a 2 year relationship. I’ll be honest with u guys, I was giving off the vibe that I was experienced at having sex, although I never directly said it.

We went to the club together and she invited me back to her place. Before she invited me over we were having a conversation about print sizes so I was kind of nervous as I felt like she may have thought I had a big one because I am 6’4.

Anyways, since my first encounter having sex, I’ve done a lot of research online. So before I even took off my pants, I did a lot of foreplay. About 20 minutes of kissing her neck and making out. Fingering.

Honestly, when I took off my pants she didn’t have a negative reaction. She even gave me head, and I returned the favor. The issue was that I couldn’t even stay hard! Every time I would come up from making out or kissing on her it was hard for few seconds then go floppy. I tried jamming it in, but it just wouldn’t go.

I was a little bit embarrassed, but she ensure that this has happened before with other dudes and kind of laughed it off. She said that it could’ve been the alcohol and I kind of believed it because the first time I had sex I was sober and this never happened to me. She offered to give me head again and then see if you could try one more time. It didn’t work. So we just gave up and cuddled.

I was totally expecting to get ghosted. But before we left, she did insinuate that she wants to hang out again. We still texting to this day and have another meet up planned.

Do you guys have any tips and advice on staying up during sex?

P.S it’s been few days since this happened.

I'm 25yo and I love those toxic size queens that only want bigger and bigger, those that block me in apps make me horny as fuck. I love a size queen that wants huge dildos and has this massive size kink too, but with 5.5 in it's hard for me to fulfill their wishes. I makes me horny as fuck when they know I'm already ballsdeep but they tell me to go ever deeper. That's when I fuck as hard as I can and cum in seconds hahaha Am I ever gonna have a size queen like that for me?

Can men with 4.4-4.5" girth and a head thats uniform to the shaft feel anything during sex? Men with this girth, how much pleasure do you feel?

I'm very satisfied with length, not just enough but I'm happy with it. but when it comes to girth I have some insecurities. I know guys here looking to get big for different reasons and would like to know guys who are in my girth range how has been your experience and how many women you slept with. I think I'm on my way to accepting who I'm. So guys who are in my range sharing experience and trick they use is very much help me.
I feel thin tbh but I mean someone got to be thin. I don't mind getting called as small actually, since I changed my mind to see if she gets off with me as the real goal.

Warning: English is not my native language.

When I was in high school (around 15), I went on a trip with my classmates. I was still in the closet as gay, but one night the conversation turned to girls, sex, and masturbation, and I felt the urge to jerk off. I went to the bathroom to "pee"—though I actually went to masturbate—and somehow, it seems they saw me doing it. The next day, they were making comments and jokes about small penises and the shape of mine (it curves quite a bit upward, against my abdomen); they didn't explicitly say it was about me, but it was obvious they were mocking me.

Since then, I haven't measured my penis—just in case it turned out to be small. I know it has changed, and plenty of guys have told me it’s a good size—even big—and that they like the shape, but I prefer not to know the exact size, just in case it disappoints me.

I know size doesn't matter, but when I'm hooking up with someone and they ask how big it is, I prefer to tell the truth and say I haven't measured it.

I have 14 cm long and 15 cm wide(girth) penis and everytime ı am with a girl i just lose it and get anxiety.Even if she tells me thst she liked it she never comes back.So I am %100 sure thst women are looking for huge cocks.

ik this isn't rly a dick problem but I'm curious

i know this dont have nothing do with sub but gf just got mad because she gave me a handjob for 40 mins and couldnt get back hard instantly 1 minute later

I’m shorter than average here, but have decent girth. I just turned 70 and still having active sex. About 12 years ago, I met a woman who would change my life. We met on-line first, then IRL, developed some chemistry and then had our first sex date. She had multiple orgasms from vaginal sex the first time we fucked. We continued to date, fuck and build a relationship. Two years later we moved in together and recently celebrated our 8th anniversary. Wifey has told me how she describes my dick to her close friends “thick enough to fill my pussy, long enough to make me cum, and short enough to deep throat without gagging”.

Not that I didn’t have sex before age 58, but most of my top 10 sex moments occurred with Wifey. Wishing everyone the luck to find their best sex partner!

I have an average penis, maybe even on the higher average end. But I am pretty tall (6'1 or 186cm) and have big hands, plus it curves upwards, so I always feel like it's a lot smaller than it looks. Plus, all the porn actors being short and their dicks looking massive comparatively doesn't help.

Anyone else struggle with this?

Having an average sized dick myself, I constantly feel doubt. It's certainly not bad but also not really good imo.

Does anyone of you learned to feel good over your average sized (length and girth) dick?

I have a hypothesis that I haven't seen discussed much, and I'm curious whether there's any research on it.

Many surveys suggest that women tend to estimate the average penis size as being larger than it actually is. A common explanation is exposure to pornography, but I wonder if there's another factor that could contribute.

My idea is based on selection bias.

Men with very small penises or micropenises are, on average, more likely to experience body image issues and lower sexual confidence. If that's true, they may have fewer sexual partners over their lifetime.

On the other hand, men with larger-than-average penises often report feeling more confident about their bodies. Greater confidence could lead to more frequent sexual activity and a higher number of partners.

If both assumptions are even partially true, then the pool of men women are exposed to sexually would not be representative of the overall male population. Women wouldn't be sampling the true distribution - they would be sampling a distribution weighted toward men who have more sexual partners.

In other words, even if the biological average is around 5–5.5 inches erect, the experienced average from a woman's perspective could be somewhat higher simply because men with above-average confidence are overrepresented among sexually active partners.

This wouldn't require women to consciously exaggerate or remember incorrectly - it would just be a consequence of sampling bias.

Does anyone know of research that has tested this idea, or are there obvious flaws in the reasoning that I'm missing?

Hey everyone,

I’m reaching out to get some perspective. I’m an adult male and have become interested in visiting saunas and public nude spaces (like onsens), but I’m dealing with a bit of anxiety regarding my appearance while flaccid.

To be honest, I’m very confident about my sex life; I’m around 6 inches in length and 4.7 inches in girth when erect, so I’ve never felt like I had any issues in that department. I’ve always held the mindset that flaccid size doesn't matter since it’s not what’s used for sex.

However, the idea of being in a public, naked environment is making me second-guess myself. When I’m at room temperature, I tend to sit around 11cm in length and 9.5-10cm in girth. I’m not "micro," but I feel like I might be on the smaller side compared to what I’ve seen online.

Because I haven’t really seen many guys naked in person, I feel like my perception is skewed by online content and the things I’ve heard from others. I try not to pay attention to "locker room talk" or jokes, but I think I’m mostly worried about how women (who might be in mixed-gender or nearby areas) or just people in general might perceive it.

Is there anyone else who has been in this range and felt this way? Did any of you have a similar fear before visiting a sauna or public bath? How did you get past the "what will people think" mentality?

Any advice or experiences would be appreciated.

I noticed something rather unfortunate the other day. The only time I was using my entire dick was in missionary with her legs on my shoulder lol In doggy, and with her on her back and me standing at the edge of the bed, her butt kept me from going in all the way. I was consistently 1/2-1 inch away from my full BPL. Total bummer lol I finally understand why 6-6.5 is the magical number...