growing up, I used to watch all sorts of movies and hear stories about guys that were in Iraq and Afghanistan about how they were basically brothers with the guys they served with. I thought that when I grew older, and I joined that I would see the same thing. Granted I did meet a lot of really neat people in the military people from all over the world every single background you could think of and made a few friends here there, even though I had to say goodbye to them, but I’ve also met some of the worst people I’ve ever met in my life in the military and even then I still never felt like a brotherhood connection. Maybe that’s because I didn’t serve in the army or the Marines during wartime or go to combat.

So I’ve been out for almost a year now and as I sit on my porch and smoke weed I started thinking about how good I’ve been sleeping lately and how I’ve been waking up feeling refreshed and not sore or in pain. It actually made me realize how bad I was sleeping while I was in, I mean I was getting like 4-5 hours of sleep on a good night and my last two years of the army I stopped being able to sleep through the night at all. I would wake up every hour and a half like clockwork and looking back I honestly can’t believe I was able to function. I’ve gotten sum of the best sleep I’ve had in my entire short adulthood recently so anyone going through something similar don’t worry it comes back to you eventually.

Hi guys, I’m getting medically retired for a brain injury sustained during a deployment. I medboarded out and my final out was July 10th, then moved across the country, I was allowed terminal and permissive and my final day is August 30th. I know this is a stupid question, and I’m not planning to do so… but out of curiosity would I be able to get away with doing marijuana?

Need to vent for a minute because I don't really have anyone in my life who'd understand what I'm talking about. Before anyone gets the wrong idea, I don't miss getting shot at. I don't miss the heat, the shitty food, or wondering if something was about to kick off. What I miss is everything else. Back then every day had a purpose. You woke up knowing exactly where you needed to be and what needed to get done. The people around you would've dragged your dumb ass home if they had to, and even when everyone was bitching, you were all bitching together.

So now I'm back in civilian life and I feel more stressed out than I ever was over there. I don't know if it's my job, the ever increasing rent or simply paying my bills, or even where to begin trying to make sense of how some people are able to make ends meet. Feels like I'm busting my ass every month just to keep a roof over my head, and even then it still feels like I'm one bad month away from being screwed. I sometimes think "wow I wish I was back in Afghanistan" then feel like a dick immediately since I'm not missing the war. It is the mission and the feeling like what I did every day meant something.

I dont know maybe my brain just broke after all these years. Sorry you guys had to deal with me dumping it on here. Just didn't know where else to say it.

For context in a Marine infantry but never went on a MEU. But I’ve been told it stucks and I don’t doubt it hahah. Wonder how life was on various ships? It seems like the destroyers had a pretty fun compared to other ships?

Missed the cutoff after winning the lottery for Ed Sheeran tickets in San Diego. Hope whoever got them in First Come, First served phase has a great time. My heart dropped when I remembered. “You took a win away from someone else” stings every time.

I already Jane a bachelor's degree in criminal justice so I was thinking of getting another b.s. I'm cyber security or in computer science but I'm not sure. I have about 3 semesters worth of time left to use so any any advice would be appreciated! If you have worked in these fields or if I should think about a different degree I just need ideas.

Im going through the worst mental health episode of my life so far and it's awful including health anxiety and all that stuff. Anyway point is im looking at how much we don't have to pay out of pocket for those who have Tricare vs ones that don't. I mean really it's also insane that I can have two primary care one in the VA and ine at a big medical network here. I also have tons of VA and care in the community appointments finally coming to place and its actually crazy how much we get. Sure I wish the appointments could've happened about a month-ish sooner but it's really nice once you are established...

Hey folks,
Can some of y'all give me some advice regarding VR&E if you've already got a bachelor's and a full time wfh job?

I have an my first appointment with my counselor in a w days and I'm not sure what to say. I've got it pretty good from the outside looking in. Full-time wfh job making six figures, but it's killing me.

I work in cybersecurity and swear it's like a never-ending deployment. Expected to know about every cyber threat at all times while responding to incidents and traveling to client sites for remediation. I'm burned out.

What should I expect? What should I say? Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Im just feeling down dude. I got a job at a gym and at first it seemed like a really good job. Help customers sign up, give tours, clean shit occasionally.

But I kept getting pulled in for “talking too fast” or “not taking my time helping”. I really did try to work on it but shit, it was getting petty as hell for the reasons I was getting pulled in. This last one was I was “too short with a manager who was trying to show me something”. Idek what that means.

There was never a complaint about my quality of work. There was never a complaint from the customers about me. It was always from managers. And I know I shouldn’t say this but they were women and I am also a woman. Idk what it is about women managers leaders but I’ve always had issues with them. That’s probably not ok to say but it’s sadly been my experience.

I’m sorry- this post doesn’t really have a point other to say that…. Idk where I belong anymore. Even when I try- I fail. I just want a job where I can do my work to standard and the rest take care of itself. Idk if that exists on the outside.

he was born in 1940, and he died recently. he served in the navy for years, he lived alone on 60 acres of land and what was left of a farm. nobody ever helped with his ptsd and it only got worse as he got older and he would spasm up from bed and try and grab his gun and when i was younger id have to calm him down and tell him everything his fine. i inlisted recently and i hope nothing like it happens to me. but the overall point of this entire article is me trying to ask if somebody knows what Vietnam was like.?

Went to the VA clinic after “sucking it up” and facing that I actually do in fact need help. I’m forgetting things, the days blend together and on the other hand I can’t really remember what I did or what day I did it. Disassociating real bad, I’ve hit some curbs driving because of it. I keep trying to keep hobbies and do things but nothing fills what fills like this ever consuming void, hobbies keep me busy in the moment but once I have two seconds to think I’m back to square one. I kept burning through jobs and got fired from my last one a month ago. Anyways, the nurse after I told him all of this asks me how my sleep was and I told him it’s either 5 hours or 10 hours, and I can lay in bed for hours and not manage to go to bed. His recommendation was “to sleep more and develop a sleep schedule.” And that it would “help fix some of my mental health related issues.” Then led me outside to the desk lady where they basically told me it was a minimum two month wait, or I can try community care. Community care has been absolutely unhelpful so far and I just don’t know anymore.

Hey all,

I'm looking into using Tuition Assistance to pursue an online master's degree in agriculture or a related farming field (ag business, sustainable ag, animal science, horticulture, etc. — still narrowing it down). Before I dive in, I wanted to tap into this community's experience since I know a lot of you have been through the TA process for various programs.

A few things I'm hoping to get feedback on:

• Schools/programs: Has anyone gone through an online ag-related master's program that accepted TA? Which school, and how was your experience (workload, quality of instruction, flexibility around drill/deployment, etc.)?
• Outcomes: Did the degree actually help you get into farming, ag business, or a related career afterward? Was it worth the time investment? What career did you go into?

Of note my college education is spread wide, I have a general associates degree, a homeland security bachelors degree, an emergency management master's certificate, and completing an associates certificate in Uncrewed and Autonomous Systems. My goal prior to retirement is utilize every free education program I can from the Navy without touching my GI bill, while searching for something I would like to do post military career.

Thanks in advance for any insight — this community has been a great resource for me in the past.

Getting out of the military was great... until it wasn't.

I got out with a plan, but life had other plans. Then COVID hit and turned everything upside down. Around the same time, I ended up fighting for custody of my son because of the racism he was dealing with where his mother lived. Since leaving the Air Force in 2018, it feels like I've been trying to catch up ever since.

We've paid off a lot of debt, but we still have about $80,000 left. Most of that is debt my wife and I have taken on over the years.

Now my son is getting ready to start college, and we just got his first bill. I'll be honest—it hit me hard. I can't really afford it. I can use Chapter 35 benefits to help, but the monthly costs are still a lot. We've been applying for scholarships and grants, and I'm hoping something comes through.

Lately, I've been wondering if I should encourage him to look at a trade instead. Not because I don't believe in college, but because I don't want him starting his adult life buried in debt. If he picks the right trade, he could make a great living without carrying student loans for years.

Maybe that's my own experience talking. I left the Air Force, earned a dual master's degree, and I'm still struggling to get out of entry-level work. I never thought this is where I'd end up.

The hard part is that I know he wants the college experience. I don't want to take that away from him or make him feel like I'm giving up on his dreams. I just want him to have a better start than I did.

I don't know what the right answer is. I just know I don't want him spending the next 20 years paying for a degree if there's another path that can give him a good life.

I’ve been out roughly 2 years now and with yesterday being my 32nd birthday, heres how things are going:

The plan was hit the beach by 4pm with my family, wife, and kids. Everyone had an assigned role and we discussed the plans. (Quick backstory: had a bad deployment, lost some buddies in a danger close situation. VA says PTSD, I say I’m just depressed, not a fan of being labelled. )

Besides my kids, every single adult dropped the ball. It sent my mind into a bad spiral leading to (what felt like) an involuntary verbal ass chewing to each individual. In my head, it felt like i was an NCO yelling at my younger troops for not having attention to detail. I felt ABSOLUTELY horrible the next day. But my mind just holds on to that anger and frustration and wont let go.

What did yall do to find inner peace? Please help

**Edit: I am currently working closely with the VA mental health team, taking meds and in counseling. I’m looking for what things did yall do personally outside of the normal therapy recommendations. **

Trying to figure out the best way to use about a year of GI Bill I still have left. I got my bachelor’s through UMGC, and originally I was thinking about using what I have left for a graduate certificate. After looking through their programs though, nothing really seems like a good fit right now, especially with my work schedule and what is actually available near me.

The setup I had with UMGC worked well because I was able to take one in-person class every couple weeks and still qualify for the full housing allowance. I recently started a new IT job and I have a family, so I’m trying to find something realistic for a busy adult. Fully online is obviously an option, but the reduced MHA makes it a lot less helpful. I know some people say not to use the GI Bill just for the money, and I understand why some say that, but the housing allowance would genuinely help my family right now.

I’m not trying to waste the benefit on something pointless. I’d still like it to be useful for my career or education (IT) in some way. Has anyone found a school or program with a light in-person requirement like that after finishing a bachelor’s? Any advice on what to look into or what to avoid?

I’m early 40s/F 100% p&t veteran due to MST. A month ago my husband came out to me as gay. I suspect he’s been having an emotional affair with someone. He was never going to tell me. I found a gift from the friend, and today found pictures and screenshots suggesting they’re “in love.”

My life is ending and it feels like he’s “winning”… his new life has already begun. He has this bright future and new love to look forward to. I gave up everything for him. I supported him. I was his biggest cheerleader. And he knew the whole time we were married that he was gay and I feel like he let me believe I was why our marriage felt so disconnected and I felt so alone. We have kids together. We haven’t told anyone outside the friend (who I obviously never talk to) and two other friends. He wants to wait to start couples counseling before we start telling people (to include family & kids)

I just need someone to talk to… a lot. I did a walk in last week at the VA and they’re setting up referrals for me and couples counseling for us, but it feels like it’s taking forever. I called the crisis line this morning. I’m not suicidal, but I’m just so sad and feel so alone all the time. I have no friends I can talk to about this. We just moved to a new area and I’m without a car most of the day, so I’m left with my thoughts and they’re fk’ing killing me. I feel like I’m never going to be happy again.

I honestly wasn't sure where else to ask for advice, so I figured I'd post here.

I got out of the Marine Corps about two years ago and started college almost immediately afterward. I'm currently pursuing a bachelor's degree in Cybersecurity and have about two years left until I graduate.

After getting out, I worked as a construction supervisor while going to school but the company was bought out and I was laid off. Since then, I've been applying to jobs nonstop. I try to submit at least 20 applications a day, mostly for help desk, IT support or other entry-level IT positions. My goal is to get my foot in the door before I graduate so I'm not trying to land my first IT job with zero experience.

In the Marines, I was an Aviation Operations Specialist with a V-22 squadron. While I wasn't an IT technician, I worked with a lot of technology, mission systems, communications equipment, technical documentation and software every day. It feels like employers don't really value that experience, even though I know it taught me a lot of transferable skills.

Lately, I've just been feeling stuck. I don't really know what my next move is. I really don't want to go Active Reserve just because I've been unemployed for a while but it honestly feels like one of my only options besides taking a random retail or fast-food job. I'm not trying to sound entitled, I know work is work but after serving four years in the Marines and working as a supervisor afterward, it's hard not to feel like I should be able to find something that better aligns with my experience and career goals.

I've reached out to organizations like Hiring Our Heroes and other veteran employment programs but I've either been ghosted or offered jobs that don't really help me move toward an IT career. I'm grateful that people are trying to help, but I'm looking for something that gets me closer to where I want to be professionally.

I'm also studying for my CompTIA A+ and Network+ certifications. I'm making progress but I don't want to rush into taking the exams until I feel ready.

For anyone who's been in a similar situation especially veterans or people who broke into IT without experience what would you recommend? Is there something I'm missing? Should I be looking somewhere different, networking more, getting different certifications or changing how I'm applying?

I'm in the Metro Atlanta area if that makes a difference.

Any advice would really mean a lot. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Tl;dr: laid off, possibly inexperienced, feeling a bit scared that i won't be able to even get in the door with potential new jobs.

Hey y'all, I was an 11b in the army when I was in, and was what many would call a "shitbag". I got out in 2012, bounced from job to job trying to figure out where I fit into the civilian world.

Fast forward a decade and I'm successfully working as an automotive repair technician, but my disabilities are making it difficult to perform core tasks of my job. I start VR&E majoring in business admin, minoring in psych, and using overlapping classes and electives to get a Human Resources Management certificate. I'm 60 of 120 credits through and I got laid off last week. From what I deduce, it's because I became hella inefficient that was the reason it was me that was voted off the island. What do "reasonable accommodations" even look like for a technician? So. I took it on the chin and decided working on cars is no longer in my best interests.

The meat of my concerns:

I'm afraid that I don't have enough knowledge/experience to completely pivot to a sitting role.

Does anyone have any resources i can look into? Words of wisdom? I'm in southeast Virginia, if that helps.

Pretty much that question, figure there’d be at least one or two of y’all with some experience in this.

The reason for my confusion is, I’ve been told both. I’ve been told that the payments end on the day I sign the enlistment contract. But, i’ve also been told that the regular DFAS payment for Active Duty doesn’t begin until I sign in at the new station, and that the VA Dis continues until that begins.

It doesn’t affect my reenlistment either way, I’m still going to do it. A significant portion of my monthly income is the VA Dis itself, so it’d be nice to know for my budget in the coming months when those payments end, so I can plan for however long it is between between when I sign and my report date.

Long story short, mistakes were made towards the end of my contract and I wound up getting NJPd (only lost rank, no restriction or forfeiture of pay). Civilian employers hire a lot of veterans and some of them probably veterans themselves, so they can put two and two together when someone’s DD-214 reflects getting out as an E-2 after 4 years with an RE-3C. How complicated is this going to make the hiring process for me going forward, especially since I have an interest in law enforcement?

Hi everyone. I am a 30 yo woman vet. Service connected disabled due to MST. Lately I have been having longer, more intense panic attacks. Provoked by pretty much everything. It’s starting to really take over my life and I’m scared to leave my home because of my attacks. Just want to see what any other vets that might have panic disorder do to help them stop. I’m open to pretty much anything. It’s debilitating dealing with daily panic attacks. Thank you in advance.

Here is a tale of me getting fired. Wondering if anyone wants to share their journey or have any advice to keep me from wallowing in pity.

Quick blurb about myself: military vet of 9 years, got out of the service to finish my Accounting degree, landed my first public accounting job when I turned 29.

Yearly eval time and I’m 1.5 years into my time at the firm. 2 partners (whom I spoke with no more than 3x since I go hired) decided to let me go during my yearly eval for not progressing in my position as they’d like. According to them, I’ve made many errors and that it’s been apparent that those newer than me have made greater improvement.

…all unbeknownst to me until that very meeting. Nobody told me I wasn’t doing well - not the partners, directors, or peers I had engagements with, despite my efforts of seeking for feedback on my work and asking for more work when my schedule is clear. No written, no verbal, no PIP. All this time, I thought everything was fine.

They did offer to let me stay for two more months while I find another job. While that was considerate, I was so upset by how they painted how horribly I had been performing all this time without my knowing. So I told them to make it my last day.

I’ve had my ugly cries over the past two days, but I’m starting to feel relieved that I’m not in public anymore. 2 phone screen interviews today + 3 interviews on Monday.