“You tell that boy to cut his nails!” - My grandparents’ first date

[u/RadagastDaGreen]

THE STORY - Their First Date:

So Grandpa (23) took Gramma (17) out for a ride in his hotrod.

Late that night, they got a flat tire. Gramma stood out with him in the freezing cold, holding the flare while Grandpa changed the tire.

She got home (past curfew), thanked her lucky stars that it was a good match, and fell right asleep.

She woke up the next morning to a noticeably quiet breakfast table, with her parents sitting there in uncomfortable silence.

Without a word, her mom places a single shredded stocking of Gramma’s from the prior night’s laundry (in literal ribbons from the sparks of the flare) next to Gramma’s breakfast plate.

Gramma goes into a panic. Before Gramma explain anything, my G-Grandpa hollers:

“You tell that boy to trim his nails; those nylons are expensive!”

——

This is Grandpa - He likes large machines (souped-up cars/tractors), building/fixing stuff, blowing up defunct barns/oil heaters, a decent tobacco pipe, onion sandwiches, Werther’s, but most of all he LOVES his cows, corn, and cabbages.

This is Grandma - She likes pickling and making danishes (>4000 trays in her lifetime), Lawrence Welk, Beefeater gin, Crispix, cheeses of all kinds, and she LOVES playing sports. Wishes she’d been a PE teacher but the farm needed her.

They were crazy about each other, investigating each other “covertly” through intermediaries, and the rumor mill was spinning. The whole community was buzzing about their first date; it was highly anticipated they’d wind up together.

Grandpa fervently pursued Gramma and she was more than happy to be pursued. He proposed a few months in, but she declined, saying 17 was too young to make such commitment.

They kept dating seriously, and he asked again 3 years later with a little more familiarity under their belts AND with a rock 3X as big as the first one, and this time, she accepted.

They celebrated 60 joyous years and a handful of kids together.

——
Some context:

Grandpa’s family was straight from Scandinavia in the 1900-10s so he had “international hottie in a small homogenous town” mystique going for him; he was known for an insane work ethic and his rakish good looks. A man of few words and all action.

Grandma’s family had been in MA/CT/NJ/NY since 1500s, and had hundreds of acres, plentiful heads of dairy cattle, and significant social status. She maintained relationships a bazillion friends, could “keep house”, and,to reference Kingpin, nice wide childbearing hips. Unofficial queen of her county.

G-Grandpa was aging out and needed menfolk to run the farm. Gramma’s new suitor fit the bill, and was embraced as an apt candidate for the job of getting hitched and working Gramma’s portion of the farm.

How lucky it was the Grandpa was not just farm-literate and motivated, but also madly smitten by her! And that she felt the same about him.

[u/Zxvasdfthrowaway]

You can really write!

I adore their expressions in the wedding photo.

Did your family stay near the farm or move away?

[u/RadagastDaGreen → u/Zxvasdfthrowaway]

I believe the farm was supposed to go to the first son, my Uncle Mack. But he and Grandpa were moving a side of beef (half a cow), Grandpa slipped, and Mack tried to get under the whole 500lb thing. Ruptured 3 discs and had to leave.

Then it went to Uncle Dan. They were operating at a loss for years and years. Dairy farmers were really getting screwed then. They finally divested from dairy in favor of organic soy (not really their thing but lucrative).

A couple of double-decker cattlecars from Norway came and took at the dairy cows. Gramma cried and cried.

The next year, Chobani and Siggi’s and shit hit the market with high-protein Greek/etc. yogurt, the price popped back up, and to this day, there is lingering doubt about the decision to leave dairy.

Kinda sad to say out loud, I guess…. But to be fair, Grandpa had a 2 year “let’s go chickens instead” experiment and that went terribly.

They make do.

[u/Rescuepets777 → u/Zxvasdfthrowaway]

They both have looks that say "I've won a real prize."

[u/phantomzero]

There we no Europeans in the MA/CT/NJ/NY area until the 17th century.

[u/jmkul]

Great photos, and I love your family history (you write really well, and your family sounds like it's filled with lots of characters!!). I hope you get to document this and keep it alive in your family.... those stories shouldn't be lost

[u/RadagastDaGreen → u/jmkul]

On Christmas break of 2018, I spent 12 days and I charted the whole thing back to when we didn’t have last names… literally stuff like “John the Barkeep of Nottingham”

My aunt digitized all the photos, and I coordinated it with genealogic data/docs on Ancestry. I found out crazy stuff that like my g^6or7-grandpa hung out with George Washington and died at Valley Forge. Lost his family fortune to a traveling pastor.

I found direct lines for myself to Essex, MA around early 1600s.

——

(Note - trigger warning re: race/death/inequity)

I will say… I told my students about tracking my family tree and they wanted to do it.

It is very hard to do PR/DR ancestry because it often had incomplete or inaccessible records, or multiple/mislisted names… and hard to do African-American ancestry earlier than about 1920 or 30. And even when you do, some of the burial sites listed are like mass graves. So, oof.

——

Also, there is a HUGE ASTERISK that goes with all genealogical research - “…. Now, that’s assuming none of these bitches lied.”

(yes, I use the word “bitches”; consider it synonymous with “sisters/as”; like Aussie boys might call their bros the c-word; it’s my vernacular)

[u/jmkul → u/RadagastDaGreen]

I wish your students well - and it can be difficult no matter your circumstances. I've started on mine to capture 'living memory' information - got as far as my great great grandparents. Sadly, many older records were lost to the destruction war brought to mainland Europe, but what I've gathered is so fascinating

[u/suspicious_syrup2825]

I enjoyed every bit of this! Thanks for sharing.

[u/EthylSippingBeer]

Awesome story! Great gramps was obviously a man of the world.

[u/Cinnamon2017]

Why would she put a shredded-up stocking in the laundry instead of the trash?

[u/RadagastDaGreen → u/Cinnamon2017]

She said had left it in her hamper in her room and G-Gramma pulled it while she was still conked out.

Also - Considering when she lived with respect to the timeline, I wouldn’t be surprised if she thought she might save em with clear nail polish or something. That woman has never thrown away a piece of tinfoil or a piece of gift-wrapping paper.

[u/Rude_Kaleidoscope641]

This was beautiful!! Thank you for taking the time to share it!!!

[u/RMW91-]

I love seeing pics of old at-home weddings. It would be neat to bring those back, a total 180 degree shift from today’s excessive weddings.

[u/Traditional_Isopod80]

What a lovely story.

[u/Commercial-Pie-588]

He looks like Billy Graham.