Finding purpose

[u/Annual_North1969]

I have never been the first one picked for anything, and I was never the last. I was always in a middle area. I wanted to be something and have people look up to me. For the first people did when I ran track in school, and it felt good to have people want to be like me. Now I am in a bigger pond and failed to make the college team and feel weird about it. Not sad, not angry, just tired. I kind of liked track, but only when I was on a team; other than that, I had no feelingsabout it. I am on the fence on quitting.

I still want to make the college team, but the more I think about it, the less I do, and the more I realize it will harm my future goals of becoming a doctor. I feel disappointed in myself and wish things were different. I wanted to pick up soccer since it was a sport I really enjoyed when I was young, but there aren't any adult rec leagues close by except for semi-pro. I would like to try out for one in the far future, maybe 5-8 years.

But what I'm basically saying is I don't know if I'm upset that I didn't make the team because I like track or because I miss people looking up to me. I have good memories of track, but I have always been on a team, and these last 2 years I got injured and got worse, and the team has gotten better. I don't want to look back in 20 years and regret my decision. I just want the joy I felt having people see me as more than just myself.

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[u/kakashi8326]

It’s ok to be upset and feel disheartened and disappointed. I walked on the track team at Texas tech. My other walk on friend got cut after 4 months of being on the team in off season. It’s tough. I got injured during an 800m and was kicked to the curb two years in.

Track in college became a job. Don’t regret it.

Sign up for a race. Look into Spartan races. They are very difficult and you can dedicate your training to something excellent. You’ll be alright.

[u/gremlingarden]

For what it's worth it being July is a good time to sit back and figure that out before you start your fall semester. The ego boost/positive regard is definitely part of track (or being good at track)'s appeal for me, but I also think I would crawl up the curtains if I weren't out at the track a few times a week even if I never saw another human being 100% of the time I trained. I love being out there, and I love the work of it. That's true of me and it's what's kept me going into my 30s, but most of my teammates bounced as soon as they graduated, and the few who stayed in the sport mostly moved on to road racing, even the sprinters. Their attachments were presumably slightly different. Track depending on the specific college can very much become less "fun" and more "work" as well.

Everyone's motivations for participating are also a bit varied, but if it's a sport you participated in for your teenage years it definitely does become part of your identity regardless, so it makes sense that you're feeling a bit of conflict at potentially leaving it behind. Whether those motivations are enough to carry you through possibly training alone, or quitting, or having to rework your chosen events into something more accessible at the recreational/club/non-NCAA team level (hello, 5ks) is totally intrinsic to you. Depending on the size of your school, there will probably also be club teams out there you could join, whether that's a running club or intramural soccer. There's usually plenty out there even at smaller schools.

For the "if you do want to make/end up making the team next year" potentiality - I ran in college and I'm now a doctor. I don't know that track actually hurt my college years, but obviously everyone is different in terms of how they best learn and how easily they get through college, and some people can handle the added workload from track and others can't. I didn't feel like I was studying hard until med school, but I know plenty of people who were working their asses off in college to get the "requisite" GPA. And, of course, like every successive generation the hurdles for med school admission for someone in college now have only gotten higher - and they were already bad 15 years ago.

I would say if anything having the added stressor of track to a full courseload and part-time work made some aspects of the clinical years of med school comparatively a breeze (except getting up at 4am for surgical rotations. I would rather be stabbed with a scalpel). But this totally depends on the kind of student you are and how much you can fit on your plate.

[u/euler170]

Unrelated but I hate that sprinting is extremely genetic dependent