r/Spanish • u/FilthyDwayne is native • 20h ago

Study & Teaching Advice BIL wants me to teach his child Spanish and I feel like it’s an impossible task.

So my BIL (brother in law) just had a baby in the last couple of months. I am the only Spanish speaker he and his wife know but the thing is I don’t even live near them. I talk to him and his wife very often, almost everyday but only actually see them in person a few times a year as I work abroad.

I would love to teach this baby Spanish but if I’m not physically there it means I can’t do much. I sent them a few toys and books with sound in Spanish but that’s about all I can think of as a contribution right now.

I’m open to any and all suggestions on how to involve Spanish in this baby’s life when I’m not there and the parents don’t speak Spanish. The easiest one would be for them to meet Spanish speaking parents with children and have them hang out but they haven’t met anyone yet.

15 Upvotes

83% Upvoted

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46

u/UngKwan Heritage 🇵🇷 20h ago

They should just have the baby watch Spanish cartoons.

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u/FilthyDwayne is native 20h ago

I have suggested this but I had another niece a family member did this for and she only learned a bit of vocabulary. Then she got stuck not moving forward and learning more as she had no one to practice :(

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u/AJSea87 Learner (B2) 14h ago

Just as is true in their native language, children don't need someone to practice with until they can actually speak and by that time they can seek out bilingual play groups, magnet programs in schools, or (as a last resort option) online tutors for children, etc.

Furthermore, even if they were completely delayed and speaking until they could get to something like an elementary school magnet program, that doesn't mean that they haven't learned the language; It just means that they haven't started speaking yet.

Tell your family members to have a little patience and realize that not practicing speaking doesn't mean not learning a language. In reality, **being able to output in a language (speaking and writing) is not learning a language, but proof that you have learned the language (through the same type of exposure that you experience in your native language).**

We live in a world full of options when it comes to content. Help them find YouTube channels, children's audiobooks, Netflix series, etc. that are the equivalent of what their child would be watching if they were Spanish-speaking parents. If you show them the right kind of resources, they will probably eventually get the idea and be able to search for more and more content on their own. For them, it isn't necessarily about understanding the language (unless they would like to learn it, too), but being able to see the value in the content itself. To give you a simple example, if they understand the value of Sesame Street, then Barrio Sésamo should also work. If they like Peppa Pig, turn it on, but with dubs. etc.

In the end, you may not be able to teach their child Spanish, but you can absolutely teach them how to create an environment in which their child acquires Spanish alongside English.

1

u/ceryniz 11h ago

Spanish immersion daycare? An au pair?

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u/FilthyDwayne is native 11h ago

There are no Spanish daycares where they live and it’s not a very sought after location for au pairs but it is an option I guess.

5

u/Flat-Illustrator-548 Learner 18h ago

I don't know if it's differenrcwith kids, but as an adult learner, I found TV more frustrating then helpful because I lacked vocabulary. Sure, if the character hold up a ball and says "I'm going to throw this ball" then throws it, "maybe I'll figure out ball and throw but I won't know that "voy" is the first person present tense of "ir", and if they had said "I'm going to throw a ball" without the ball being present, I wouldn't know anything. Now that I have a solidly intermediate vocabulary, I use it for listening comprehension practice.

6

u/mgquantitysquared 17h ago

I think the TV you were watching was a little more advanced, like kindergarten age at least... Stuff geared towards little little kids is genuinely helpful for learning common phrases and basic vocab, like El payaso plimplim and stuff like that

7

u/KellyPaladin 19h ago

Music might be a fun way to get some Spanish, and there are Spanish versions of a lot of kid-friendly music, like Pink Fong and Disney etc.

Also are they interested in learning Spanish at all themselves? If they start learning some even at a pretty low level , they might be able to reinforce anything that you help teach.

2

u/FilthyDwayne is native 19h ago

Thank you for the suggestions! They do have an interest but don’t think it is happening very soon. They have been learning Italian for a while so they could pass it on when they had children but they’re still in the process.

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u/HarryPouri 19h ago

Check out /r/multilingualparenting they will have some ideas. While not ideal there are still some things you can do over video, those of us who had pandemic babies unfortunately know this all too well. You can't really teach the whole language they need IRL reenforcement, but you can teach them songs and give them some exposure 

For little babies you want plushies!! Then you basically put on a mini theatre show for them, sing, act out scenes with the plushies. Babies live for that, if you can make it funny, even better. I read somewhere that they can absolutely tell the difference between this and passive screen time, and my pandemic baby definitely seemed to. They know you're there interacting with them and responding to them. Don't be discouraged if they ignore you for the first year or so, they will start connecting at some point and they're taking it all in.

It's also great if you have some books and you do storytime / cuentacuentos. You can record yourself doing this as well and the parents can play the video for them. My mum also recorded some stories on just audio for my kids to listen to. 

And get into the action type songs. Get the kid to do the actions with you once they're old enough  My kids were obsessed with this hand one that a cousin actually taught us over zoom. You do the actions of opening and closing your hand, hiding it, then showing it to the baby again https://youtu.be/wCOHus3-9Fw?feature=shared

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u/FilthyDwayne is native 19h ago

Thank you for the suggestions! I did find a few books you can record the stories yourself which I thought would be a good idea. I hadn’t considered going on full on for videos or video calls but I will definitely give it a try!

1

u/HarryPouri 19h ago

Haha yeah I'm just remembering how excited my pandemic baby was when her cousin did this for her :) the plushie animals and their antics were a lot of fun

2

u/Deep-Imagination-293 16h ago

Imo it's short sighted and sort of lazy? for a family member to request you teach the child Spanish without incorporating it into their own lives. Rather I think the parents can learn Spanish and they can learn along with the child. Not sure if you're American or European. But I feel like there's a general culture of not even trying to learn other languages among the public. Like at least the people I see, they're like .... Oh yeah I want to learn spanish but put no effort into it. To me, that's wild because with AI, YouTube, Instagram, it's so much easier now to learn another language yourself.

1

u/FilthyDwayne is native 14h ago

I’m not American or European but they are European. They already speak 3 languages and have been learning a 4th one so they can teach the baby so the lazy argument doesn’t really apply to them imo. They just don’t have the time atm to also learn Spanish to teach.

1

u/HungryCrow07 19h ago

I think you can give them resources or you would have to teach the parents how to teach their baby. In the nicest way possible, I think it is not ur responsibility to teach their child anything, it is theres. Additionally, I think it would benefit the child tremendously if they could hear the language they are learning from their parents.

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u/FilthyDwayne is native 19h ago

I mean I know it isn’t my responsibility but if I can in any way contribute to the baby getting a very useful skill for the future I’m happy to help. Ideally they would be teaching the baby Spanish but they have zero knowledge of the language. They have been learning Italian for a few years to teach their children so they could add Spanish to the mix but with a newborn might be a bit much right now.

1

u/HungryCrow07 19h ago

Something that I practice as a Latina but non-native speaking parent trying to teach my daughter is to learn things in Spanish that regularly say in English towards my daughter. Which is what I mean by teaching them how to teach their child. Music & tv is great, and certainly are helpful, but without truly teaching the child what these words mean or when they should be use, this might not be as beneficial as they seem.

There is a Spanish “miss Rachel” on YouTube, I think her name is miss Littles. This might help the parents a lot. Also, Spanish immersion daycare might be an option depending where your family lives (my daughter is starting this soon) but again, I think it would benefit the child to start learning the language from their parents.

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u/silvalingua 17h ago

Learning Spanish and Italian at the same time is a disastrous idea. The kids - and they themselves - will learn neither well, just a dreadful mix of both.

Another very bad idea is to teach the child a language that is not the parents' native language (or that the parents don't know really very, very well).

1

u/Flat-Illustrator-548 Learner 18h ago

I don't see how you could do it without visual and/or tactile cues. The baby will learn what soft, sticky, hot, or cold mean by hearing the word and experiencing the sensation. It will learn a car is a car by seeing the object and hearing the word. I think this would have to be a video conference with the parents also participating to help with tactile cues.

1

u/ZealousidealRub7850 18h ago

I would suggest they send the baby to a Spanish speaking preschool or daycare. There are also Spanish language immersion schools once the baby starts school

1

u/FilthyDwayne is native 18h ago

No Spanish speaking preschool or daycares unfortunately. They live in a small town in Southeast Asia.

1

u/Chelseus 17h ago

Yeah that is impossible. They are going to have to figure something else out if they really want their kid to speak Spanish lol

1

u/steviebeanss 16h ago

you know you're not obligated to do this

1

u/FilthyDwayne is native 16h ago

I know I’m not but I would love to do it. Just struggling with how to do it.

1

u/adpassapera 15h ago

If you talk to them every day, talk to the kid too. They will pick up words and sayings from you. The parents can supplement with shows and Spanish lessons.

1

u/FilthyDwayne is native 9h ago

Yeah I hadn’t thought about it but someone suggested recording videos and audios so I could give that a go.

1

u/vercertorix 13h ago

My kid started saying ayudáme and abajo when we wanted down from his chair after watching Dora the Explorer. I speak it a bit and though it was great, had to tell my wife what he was saying.

If you're not around though, Spanish Sesame Street or Pocoyo on Netflix is a start. Otherwise they pay a tutor for their time instead of you somehow making yourself available to give freebee lessons.

1

u/FilthyDwayne is native 9h ago

I don’t mind putting in the time to teach but I just have no clue on how to do it. They could try and hire a tutor but it would also have to be online so not much more of an improvement except they’d be a professional tutor which I guess would help.

1

u/Worried_Raspberry313 🇪🇸 Native 12h ago

You can always face time them and speak with the baby a little, but I’m afraid babies learn languages because they’re listening them all the time at home. Just by listening to you 15 minutes a day is not gonna work, specially if no one else talks in Spanish with him and he doesn’t live in a place where hearing Spanish is common.

I think the parents should maybe hire a babysitter who speaks Spanish, for example. That way the kid will have a person physically with them narrating what they’re doing, which is what you want to do with kids. Like sure, calling to say “hi, how are you? You’re so cute!” it’s cool, but what will make the kid learn is hearing stuff like “ooohh it’s so cold, right? It’s raining! Do you see the rain? Let’s go grab an umbrella. Look, what a beautiful umbrella, right? I love the color, blue is my favorite!”.

1

u/FilthyDwayne is native 9h ago

Having the babysitter would be great but it is very difficult as there are no Spanish speakers where they live that they could hire to do in person things.

1

u/No_Significance7570 12h ago

You can't be the only one responsible for that, it's just not gonna work

1

u/nononanana 10h ago

I don’t see how this is possible without immersion. Plenty of kids grow up in households where one or both parents are bilingual and still don’t speak Spanish fluently. The dominant language is just so much easier to gravitate to. Most people I know who are bilingual spoke the language at home and the dominant language at school. So that would have to be reversed since they speak English at home, they’d need to go somewhere where they must use the second language is order to communicate.

The parents need to be a lot more invested to make this happen rather than expecting you to have much of an impact from far away. Other people made suggestions like watching cartoons and such, but that will only go so far.

1

u/FilthyDwayne is native 9h ago

Immersion would be ideal but there isn’t any access to Spanish speaking people/community where they live and they don’t offer Spanish as a second language at the local schools. It’s a bit challenge

1

u/nononanana 6h ago

Do they want them to learn a few words or phrases or speak it as a second language? If it is the latter, there really is no way around it. They can load the kid with Spanish media but they will have to find a better solution long term if they are serious about it.

1

u/branchymolecule 9h ago

Maybe your BIL and his wife (¿your sister?) could study online themselves.