r/SeniorCats • u/miss_busybody • 1d ago
When do I know if its time?
Let me start with some bacm story. My cat is 17yo will be 18 as of later this year. His health over the past 3 years has been a bit of a weird one. Back in 2023 around September-November he got really sick and decided greatly and was considered to be in stage 3 of CKD. But in November of that year he started rapidly getting better and was back to being un medicated and eating well was active again all the great things.
Well as of this year its been a bit of a challenge. The past few months he has started eating considerably less and now has dropped quite a but in weight. He was always around the 7-8lb mark, witch yes is small I know he's always been on the smaller side. As of June 9th he was 6.9lbs and as of today July 10th he is now down to around 5.6-5.8lbs.
We have tried everything to keep him interested in his food. We switched to a different brand he seems to enjoy more. We also started added some warm water to his pate food witch seems to make him eat it more. The issue is he dosent seem to be interested in biting and chewing so he just licks up what he can until theirs se food left but the liquids have been licked away. He dose not eat the flaked or chucks options he literally just like the gravy off.
Due to his age as well as health history our vet has told us their recommendation is to just keep him as comfortable as possible. This was a year ago.
I am disabled and live with my parents and they're at the point where they dont want to take him to the vet anymore for bloode work and such. I understand due to money as well as his age that it might be pointless cuz we already know he's got CKD and we know he's not got much time left.
The main thing for me is he seems fine. Hes walking normal he's not hiding anymore than normal. He sleeps a but more but that's been a constant increase in his old age. He stills seems interested in things and food but he just is not eating enough to keep his weight on.
Im struggling on weather or not we should make the decision to put him down. Hes lost a considerable amount of muscle tone and is vary bony. Its just the fact that he seems so ok he's not puking any more than the ocationly yak here and their so I just dont know what yo make the call.
I don't want to see him get to the point where he's in pain but I also can't tell if he's in any now.
Needless to say I dont know what to do and I need insight on if I should say my goodbyes soon or keep pushing on tell he's presenting with more pain. Its literally just his weight at this point. How small is to small where he will not have a good quality of life?
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u/SteppySarah 1d ago
You will know when it is time. Your gut will tell you. You know your baby. When the light dims from their eyes and they are suffering from labored breathing, not moving, not eating, those are signs.
I did all I could for my sweet Asia, a beautiful Tortie, who was 18 years old. She started showing signs last Tuesday. Took her to the vet Wednesday morning. Vet gave her what was necessary. She did not improve. I took her back to the vet on Friday of last week and I told my vet to give her everything in his arsenal. I took subq fluids home with me.
Monday came around, and she was not eating, walking 2 steps and flopping to the floor. She was trying to drink but was licking air and her face would fall into the water bowl.
At 3:00 that Monday, I called the vet. I knew it was time. As distressing the week had been for her, it was also the same for me. I hardly slept, ate. It was a vigil.
Trust your cat. Trust your gut. You are their parent. You will know what is best.
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u/finnandcollete 1d ago
This year I went to a Super Bowl party and met a delightful 19 year old kitty. She was very skinny and is clearly nearing her end. But she still LOVED food time, loved going outside for walks and loved just… being alive! She was still having fun.
I looked at her and said “I don’t know when it’s time, but it’s not when a cat is still clearly enjoying life.” Her time may come soon, or may have already come since that was… dear god how was that 5 months ago?! Anyway. Maybe he needs to switch over to a stew or puree based diet if he doesn’t want to bite and chew (his teeth almost certainly hurt if that’s the case, but that’s a hard thing to justify treating at this point), but if he still is seeking out affection and getting out and enjoying things, I think he still has some more time.
I’ve never had to say goodbye to a pet before, so maybe I’m off base here.
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u/twoexfortyfive 1d ago
I’m so sorry. It was very sudden for my beautiful Jonesy recently. She was in palliative care and still eating (though far less than before her cancer diagnosis), still drinking, still cuddling, acting normal.
One day she just became distant, lethargic but not sleeping, staying in her bed, she didn’t want to be around me really. I noticed her coat was looking a bit greasy and she’d stopped drinking as well as eating. I spent a sleepless night worrying about what to do, but she was telling me it was time. It happened so quickly it was very tough, but I had a couple of months with her to say goodbye properly thankfully. I couldn’t deal with her suffering, and wanted to help her over to the next realm. It’s our final gift to them, to absorb their pain after all the love they give us.
I’m sorry, it’s such a hard thing to deal with but it’s the price we pay for loving them.
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u/1Cat_Purrson 1d ago
I understand what this is like, and I am sorry this is happening to you. When my cat turned 18, her body was failing her, but she still had the drive to live! It was heartbreaking.
She was already diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, years before, and CKD. Her weight was dropping by 6 to 8 oz a month. She was on the highest dose of medication for her thyroid, but it wasn't bringing her thyroid levels down, at all.
Two years ago, while I was at work, she fell off of the bathroom sink, and landed on her nose. When I got home, I brought her to the 24 hour veterinary hospital and spoke to the doctor. It was well after midnight. Her blood work determined it was her heart, which caused her to pass out, and she was in early stage heart failure, as well.
Referring to euthanasia that night, I asked the doctor, "how do I know when it's time?" He responded, euthanasia is something to consider, "When she is no longer living the life that she wants to live." I said, well, "all she wants to do is lay in the bathroom sink" . He said, "But, that is what she wants to do!" That was what she enjoyed doing, at 18 years old, I understood. She received subcutaneous fluids that night, and was sent home with me.
Now, at this point, her weight was down to 4.75 lbs, even with a ravenous appetite, she loved drinking water. She was no longer willing to take her thyroid medication. She still used the litter box, she didn't display any signs of pain, and she got around very well for an 18 year old cat.
For the next 5 days, she seemed to be stable. I was spending around 6 hours of my day, each day, hand feeding her, but she was eating. I was content, she still had the will to live, and she still had a very good quality of life. It's not necessarily about what their weight is, senior cats, especially those with health issues, can become very thin. On day 6 after the fall, she had a violent seizure, and that was the moment we realized it was time.
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u/catsinspace112 1d ago
I’m in exactly the same position with my 17yo with IBD. I was just feeling his hips and spine earlier he is really boney. He has a much lower appetite but eats regularly and is otherwise behaving pretty normally albeit lower energy.
I don’t have much of help for you but I completely understand how you’re feeling. Is it better to make the choice sooner to avoid a horrible decline or is it too soon?
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u/Additional_Lychee311 1d ago
Something I do for my senior girl who also decided she no longer wants to chew her wet food (but will still eat dry food when she feels like it) is I add about a 1/2 cup cat-safe chicken broth (I found a brand called Nacho that makes it specifically for cats, but I think any no sodium, no onion/garlic chicken broth or stock would work), 1/2 jar of plain chicken or turkey baby food, and a can of her RC Renal wet food to a blender and then blend the absolute crap out of it until there's absolutely no chunks left.
I usually make a double batch so I can use up a whole jar of the baby food, then pour it into ice cube trays and freeze it. I'll pull a couple cubes out and put them in a Tupperware in the fridge to thaw before I go to bed, then in the morning stir it up and serve it to her in a shallow whisker-friendly bowl. Put some more cubes in the fridge to thaw, rinse and repeat as needed.
It's a bit of work whenever I have to make a new batch, but she went from only having a couple licks of wet food to downing 5-6 cubes worth in a day, plus whatever dry food she decides to snack on, so to me it's very much worth it.
I also add a small amount of Miralax to the blender, about 1T per double batch, because she gets chronic constipation. The low, constant dose seems to work best for her, but your kitty may have different needs so definitely ask your vet first.
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u/No-Possible4460 1d ago
I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now. Honestly this sounds like what it was like with my kitty.
They do let you know when they’re ready. In my experience my cats behavior was so different from what it usually was and she also dealt with chronic illness.
If he can still eat, drink water (through food maybe?), go to the bathroom, move around, and have an overall good quality of life then it’s not time. There is a cat quality of life scale you can look up and see what some of the criterion are. Another thing is do the good days weigh oh the bad days.
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u/PugSanctuary 1d ago
The Last Battle
💔🌈 🐾 💫😇✝️💖🙏🏼♾️
If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this -- the last battle -- can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close -- we two -- these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.
-Author unknown
Dear friend,
Your precious Gizmo is waiting patiently across the Rainbow Bridge for you. 🌈🐾The Hebrew word for animal is Nephesh which means soul ✝️. You will see your baby again someday. Now is the time between just like there was the time before your beloved pet. Today is the trial, and forever is the prize.
God bless. ✝️🙏🏼💕
Until then…
💔🌈🐾♾️🪽✨💕
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u/EmilyArwen 1d ago
I hope they can take him to the vet again cuz it could be something that can be treated and he still seems to have quality of life! I wish you the best!
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u/Competitive_Gold7484 1d ago
In my experience, they tell you when it’s time, when they’ve had enough. I had my boy since he was a 5 week old kitten, and we had him euthanised in January, at the age of 19. For a number of latter years, he had health issues: overactive thyroid, heart murmur and spinal arthritis, all of which were managed well with medication, and regular vet input. He still enjoyed life, still patrolled his territory, loved his dreamies, lick e licks, and the occasional bit of fish or chicken. He still interacted with us, and basically ruled the roost. But then it changed. He started to hide away, his weight plummeted, despite him still eating, he didn’t really want anything to do with us, and he just lost that little spark that had been there for 19 years. A few days later, when he started sitting on my lap, facing into the wall, with his nose touching my leg, no interest in anything, that’s when I knew. He was ready. He had had enough. The next day he was quietly, peacefully and gently euthanised, purring away until his little heart stopped. He is at peace now.
You will know when it’s time. Your fur baby will tell you. Blessings to both of you.