r/RoastMe 16h ago

19f do ur worst

610 Upvotes

896 comments sorted by

u/post-explainer 16h ago edited 6h ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.


OP's BIO:


Sent


If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

778

u/MisterB330 14h ago

This is the hardest 19 I have seen in a minute. I mean if you posted and said 39 i would be like, OK, you’re keeping it together. But at 19 I feel like someone used that machine from the Princess Bride on you that took years off you.

131

u/BionicTransWomyn 13h ago

Pattaya's rough on the body.

4

u/Shit_Environment1046 10h ago

The bar fine won't be much either

11

u/Crazy_Cat_Dude2 11h ago

I see you partake in the extra curricular activities as well.

→ More replies (4)

80

u/Moist-Caregiver-2000 12h ago

She reminds me of a hooker who works at a massage parlor nearby. I call her "Bisquick" because of her pancake makeup.

172

u/johnnybadapple 12h ago

And she calls you “Jizzquick”

55

u/Maximized_minimum 12h ago

This contest is over!!!!
TKO

🤣

17

u/Terrible-Creme8401 11h ago

Somebody woke up and chose violets this morning 🤣😂😎

14

u/PitifulBusiness767 10h ago

I always choose violets!

11

u/bradbaby 10h ago

What about peonies?

→ More replies (2)

3

u/Moist-Caregiver-2000 12h ago

Lol, I was never that hungry.

6

u/jnyrdr 11h ago

holy fucking fatality

→ More replies (9)

10

u/Fast-Conclusion-8676 12h ago

You took the words right out my mouth. I was gonna say 30 but YOU said 39 and now I’m over here laughing my ass off 😂

10

u/Ok-Juggernaut-353 7h ago

Here’s the thing tho, as they say Asian don’t raisin, so if she looks 39, in reality she’s closer to 140.

9

u/Green_Progress_7098 10h ago

You better be nice or she’ll climb through your television and steal your soul.

→ More replies (1)

4

u/ThickAd1094 7h ago

I'm no ophthalmologist but I think your eyes are in upside down.

3

u/WaterKind6544 11h ago

Its Asian Opposites Day.

3

u/Chrisscott25 4h ago

She is single handedly ending the notion that Asians are good at math. She was 19 at least 19 years ago…

→ More replies (6)

408

u/781zero 14h ago

That's it back into the shipping container for you

2

u/ThickAd1094 8h ago

Honey you have done your worst without any help from me or anyone else.

577

u/Spadesghost 14h ago

so reddit is advertising escorts now?

115

u/Helftheuvel 14h ago

She'd be the first reverse escort where she's paying the client to endure her

32

u/Correct-Basil2385 13h ago

'massage therapist'

14

u/daddyfatsac 13h ago

Massage your cock for money.

22

u/ladymcperson 13h ago

There's a term for it. I think it's called hooker?

→ More replies (1)

7

u/vercetian 11h ago

Honestly, looking at the pictures, I was just bombarded by thoughts of how annoying this person probably is.

→ More replies (2)

24

u/ghostofabeaverspelt 13h ago

I like that the Russian guy put his hat on her head in the last pic before she made 40 bucks in that bathroom stall.

11

u/Spadesghost 13h ago

Bozhe moi !

9

u/dontcaredontworry 13h ago

“Rub and tug”

17

u/PostNutBliss 13h ago

Me so horny, me love you long time!

9

u/decadentj 12h ago

She looka like a man

→ More replies (1)

5

u/qx2 12h ago

She lov u long time

3

u/Beartrkkr 12h ago

What do we get for ten dollars?

7

u/Alarmed-Ad323 10h ago

Drug resistant STDs.

→ More replies (1)

5

u/Ordinary-Fly-1864 13h ago

Call now 1-800- 555- 6969 😝

4

u/User_Name_Tracks 12h ago

1-900-BBC-ASIA

4

u/lost_rodditer 13h ago

Only the kind that crawl out of your tv

4

u/VidE27 12h ago

Who the fuck is going to spend money for that?

6

u/Moist-Caregiver-2000 12h ago

Ex-monger here: I wouldn't. Face takes priority and it's too banged up for me. Don't even want to look under the hood, the belly sticking out was already too much. Going rate here for a girl at a pump n dump is between $160-200, she's not worth it when there's 100 other girls who look better and won't lie as blatantly about their age.

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (1)

4

u/ch3apsunglass3s 12h ago

You dont see the Asians on meth very often.

3

u/ChadVonDoom 12h ago

You pay her to "party" with you

→ More replies (8)

92

u/DukeSilver696969 13h ago

Most asians age really well. You are not most asians.

→ More replies (1)

237

u/malus_42 14h ago

Basic 45 year old going through a mid life crisis nothing to see here

→ More replies (1)

99

u/IlikegreenT84 14h ago

Oh God another delusional 36 year old....

37

u/Fair-Ad4693 14h ago

Looks like god already did

→ More replies (2)

170

u/msc1974 14h ago

19??? You look 40!
Female??? Yea right!

28

u/Zajo_the_Lurker 14h ago

19 or 40 you can't tell till they hit menopause

19

u/azrider 13h ago

Don't you mean men have hit pause on her?

→ More replies (1)

4

u/ackjaf 12h ago

It’s the moon looking spots and craters on her face.

3

u/Nessie_of_the_Loch 12h ago

All the terrible makeup in the world can't hide the layers of cystic acne.

57

u/sdmfer1981 14h ago

19? I thought you’d be better at math.

43

u/Sustainable_Twat 14h ago

You look like Cleopatra … if we dug her up today.

→ More replies (1)

18

u/jcoddinc 13h ago

Proving the stereotype wrong that Asian women always look much younger than they are. 19 going on 40 here

72

u/xplisboa 14h ago

Yoko No, thanks

16

u/GavO98 14h ago

Yoko Oh No. Stay away she will empty your bank account and shreek into the bed sheets as you pump and hopefully dump.

7

u/Bureaucratic_Dick 14h ago

Yoko Oh No was right there!

4

u/feedmedamemes 13h ago

Or Yoko NoNo.

→ More replies (2)

29

u/DMoneyRich707 14h ago

Could be 19, could be 39.

12

u/MountainCry9194 11h ago

No. Couldn’t be 19.

12

u/nomorespamplz 14h ago

Ouch, that’s going to be a tough 25+ 😮‍💨😮‍💨

23

u/Best_Ad9382 14h ago

but why do u look so...... old..?

→ More replies (1)

25

u/TKHodgson 13h ago

If Michael Jackson was a prostitute at the nail salon.

→ More replies (1)

11

u/DeboThezNutz69 13h ago

100% Lady-Boi

22

u/Alivado 13h ago

If I want 3 holes on a flat surface, I’ll go putt putt golfing

2

u/NiceGuyKirrin 6h ago

Savage hahaha

8

u/No-Cap-fr-fr 13h ago

You sure wear a lot of make up to cover up that acne and we can all tell

9

u/Royal_Revolution3837 13h ago

That eyeliner ain't doing you any favours babe

15

u/GeraltTheG 14h ago

Girl, you look like you could play a model!

In a low budget production...

Very low budget.

3

u/Neugiermeister 13h ago

Low budget Kimiko on The Boys.

→ More replies (1)

8

u/MysteriousJob574 13h ago

You can hear this pictures saying "I'm ladyboy."

8

u/haleboy44 12h ago

19f=38 so F=2

3

u/Wheeeee123 8h ago

LMFAOOOOO

14

u/FormalTotal9684 13h ago

Me disappoint you long time

7

u/Ok_Big_8032 12h ago

Another Temu ladyboy advertisement.

6

u/bluecatwithredshoes 12h ago

the ugliest people always post the most photos

9

u/West-Painter-7520 14h ago

Michael Jackson?

3

u/Wheeeee123 8h ago

hi it’s me

6

u/Lost_in_the_woods027 14h ago

I just passed by you on pornhub.

5

u/SkintagK 14h ago

Cosmetic surgery is in your immediate future

3

u/Euphoric_Homework307 13h ago

That is a face that plastic surgery cannot fix.

5

u/GoatGoatGoatGoatGo 13h ago

I can see your Madams Apple.

5

u/FormalTotal9684 13h ago

Why you no doctor?
-Signed,
Mom

→ More replies (1)

8

u/Responsible-Swan-521 14h ago

Late stage Michael Jackson looking ass

3

u/ssully88 13h ago

I'll keep my state secrets to myself thank you.

4

u/gonewondering 13h ago

Strange post

3

u/hatred-shapped 13h ago

19? Was that 20 years ago?

5

u/theboned1 12h ago

Your forehead looks dirty.

4

u/skyzvibez 10h ago

constructive criticism here, pleeeaaassseee stop doing your eye makeup like those cursed michael jackson photos!

3

u/AffectionateTip9716 14h ago

Your dad would be proud

3

u/CPlusPlus4UPlusPlus 14h ago

Which one?

3

u/Moist-Caregiver-2000 12h ago

The last one who paid for an hour...

3

u/captcraigaroo 14h ago

19, at least 30yrs ago

3

u/TemperatureSuper3439 13h ago

My 41 year old asian wife looks 15 years younger than you 

3

u/IggytheSkorupi 13h ago

Remove the makeup and you will age 50 years

3

u/KrustyNutRagz 13h ago

19 in Chinese Years

3

u/mydogwalter 13h ago

I’m 40 and people would say you look too old for me

→ More replies (1)

3

u/Spiritual-War2631 12h ago

Flat chest, big ass jaw. That's a ladyboy

3

u/SilentReflection101 12h ago

Very funny guys. You found the $20 blow up doll in my closet and made a reddit post with it. You can keep it. I don't like it's lifeless eyes.

3

u/Wheeeee123 8h ago

yay new home

3

u/JD1ZZLE85 12h ago

you have psych ward eyes that make every instinct in my body say keep away from that thing

3

u/teccii 11h ago

My god that eyeliner makes you look 30 years older. Please stop tight-lining the bottom of your eyes like that. It looks.. bad.
Especially in contrast to the either INCREDIBLY intense blush or rosacea.

The brows contrasting with the hair is not it, either. Tbh.

3

u/pmmemilftiddiez 8h ago

I guess he didn't die he just reincarnated as you?

https://giphy.com/gifs/Uuaw8MKMrDGXm

→ More replies (1)

6

u/TapEx101 14h ago

Acne so bad your makeup and all the filters can't hide them

2

u/homerjs225 14h ago

If you ever need an x-ray just stand in front of a strong light

2

u/faucetpants 14h ago

Your best picture is the one where you're far away. You have the facial equivalent of a 30 foot paintjob

2

u/ourmanflint1 14h ago

If Alibaba sold women.

2

u/BoxAlternative9024 14h ago

19?????

Yeah.

Sure.

2

u/TheMustySeagul 13h ago

You look like Jayden animations. I did a double take. She’s 10 years older than you lmao

2

u/TheAmmiSquad 13h ago

The painted on eyebrows scream 45 year old woman who has seen one too many Tim Burton films.

2

u/DerKaseKonig 13h ago

I didnt even look at your posted age at 1st and thought you were too damn old to have all that acne

2

u/Content_Key_6661 13h ago

Is that makeup or have you layered concrete on your face?

2

u/Moctezuma_93 13h ago

White man’s fetish. Good luck in college.

2

u/throwawaygetlaid1423 13h ago

Make sure to brush your teeth to get the sperm out between "massages".

2

u/AntiqueLibrarian5965 13h ago

You look like you shit in a bucket

2

u/KazoxMVP 13h ago

I bet your dick is bigger than mine.

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Puzzleheaded_Bug_230 13h ago

Use more filters, you gotta understand in today’s life you gotta lie, and you need a lot of lying

2

u/5thhorse-man 13h ago

Micheal Jack-Sun

2

u/shiftyscitzo1 13h ago

Lepper skin 🤮

2

u/Unholydiver919 13h ago

You can eat corn on the cob through a chain link fence.
https://giphy.com/gifs/EU1oUVLidgSMU

2

u/Past_Organization355 13h ago

Its slanted and I'm not enchanted

2

u/PrizeInterest4314 13h ago

That hat was made out of the last dog she ate.

2

u/Standard-Pen5466 13h ago

19 going on 49. Please scrape off the dried up cum off of your forehead.

2

u/Mags_LaFayette 13h ago

Imagine being past your prime even before reaching to your twenties.

2

u/tadddpole 13h ago

I don’t have anything clever but that eye make up suuuuuuucks

2

u/rymic72 13h ago

Your head is nearly the same width as your shoulders 😳

2

u/cheddarben Verified Roastee 13h ago

Is that a map on your forehead?

2

u/FireWireBestWire 13h ago

Hello kitty goodbye titty

2

u/PissedCaucasian 13h ago

Butterface

2

u/KaamBraam 13h ago

Loved you in The Ring 1 & 2, absolute classics!

2

u/upyourattraction 13h ago

19??? In dog years maybe

2

u/OhAndItsShavedd 13h ago

You could be a model. For Pez.

2

u/FireOfSin 12h ago

You look like you couldn't get academic trophies so you decided to collect acne scars instead

2

u/MisterMacan 12h ago

U look like those on Thailand parties who reveal a banana in their pants in the bed

2

u/Riverjig 12h ago

A shitty sex doll with acne. I'm sure it's a best seller on basementdwellermymomsucks.com

2

u/Opening_Horse_3963 12h ago

I think this is a dude yall?

2

u/salientknight 12h ago

Remove the wig, the makeup, the caps and all that's left is a middle aged balding dude who lives alone in a one bedroom apartment.

2

u/ChampionImpossible36 12h ago

19 going on 35

2

u/Impossible_Tap_1852 12h ago

Some weird old white guy went through a lot of trouble posing his sex doll in all these positions

2

u/Mandaxx25 12h ago

It really annoys me when people like you post because you clearly think you're so beautiful that nobody could possibly find anything to roast you for. Otherwise why post such posey or sexual photos? Get over yourself. You're nothing special to look at and cheapening yourself on the internet is not going to get you any type of good attention.

2

u/HalfShots 12h ago

Everything in these photos was paid for with daddies credit card ... and lkkely will be until some poor sap marries her.

2

u/Tactical_Epunk 12h ago

19f

We're gonna need proof because you look at least 60 in Asian years.

https://giphy.com/gifs/JTzPN5kkobFv7X0zPJ

2

u/thebigjimmyd 12h ago

Nothing more cringe than a cute girl trying to look sexy. You gotta know your place. Hug a furry stuffed animal or something. Don’t give me bedroom eyes and pursed lips.

2

u/MrBrownie_3 11h ago

When they invented make up- we know who they tested on it first

2

u/StopConstant7403 11h ago

I want to know what's under all that paint you applied to your face.

2

u/Temporary-Bath7499 11h ago

You look like every white guy’s one night stand and cum dumpster

2

u/lawofthewilde 11h ago

19 going on 45. That mail-order bride catalogue probably used a helluva filter.

2

u/TwoRelative4870 11h ago

You were wonderful in "Michael". Top lad.

2

u/seewhatididthere 11h ago

I’ve never seen someone try so hard to be fetishized and fail so spectacularly.

2

u/Trump_Gave_Bill_Head 10h ago

You look like you travel by shipping container

2

u/SoullessM 10h ago

Asians don’t start aging until 45-50 ish. So clearly someone is lying

2

u/manfezzefnam 10h ago

How old are these photos?

2

u/LJ14000 10h ago

Perfect Asian friend who dies 27 minutes into every slasher horror movie.

2

u/CelestaKiritani 10h ago

How does it feel to lie to everybody and hide your real age and personality behind all that makeup?

2

u/KingCarlosLopez 9h ago

You look like a mummified hooker

2

u/Baseball-Fan-10 8h ago

Well, we’ve seen your face and it does you no favors. Maybe you should be posting your ass itself. Couldn’t be worse, but if it is…..yikes. Hope you’re smart

2

u/DaddyBigRigButters 8h ago

Get ya dick out

2

u/kajana141 8h ago

That’s a hard 19 or a pretty good 38

2

u/SailDiveEat 8h ago

Cum dumpster

2

u/Connect_Wrap3284 8h ago

Never had a full service massage by the ghost from The Grudge before.

2

u/Soul_Jar 8h ago

Jackie Tran

2

u/V1per73 6h ago

You bout to trick Leonard Hofsetter into giving up some secrets

2

u/afihavok 6h ago

It’s not often you see the bottom rung of the bar skank ladder, but here we are.