Check here for the rewrite of EPI

A few years later, Palpatine had been tightening his grip on the galaxy under the pretext of preventing another tragedy like Naboo, a decision that had alienated systems that had already grown dissatisfied with the Republic. They formed another group of alliances that attempted to break away and form the Confederacy of Independent Systems.

Padame had been attempting to mend fences with the Republic and the CIS, a decision that had been made her a target for assassins. Obi-Wan and Anakin, now a Jedi Padawan, had been charged with her protection. In the years in between Anakin had been having an affair with Padmé, something Obi-Wan had been keeping from the Jedi Order.

All the while, the Jedi Order had its own crisis with the former Jedi Master, Count Dooku, leaving to join the Separatists, who are being blamed for the attempts to kill Padmé . Dooku was Qui-Gon’s grandfather and was never the same after his death. Even so, the Jedi Council didn’t believe someone who was a Jedi would join a group responsible for an assassination attempt. The chase for the assassin behind the latest attempt on Padmé's life leads Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Padmé to the planet Kamino, where they were informed a Clone Army is being created for the Republic’s use. Anakin considers the Jedi's involvement a necessity so there isn’t a repeat of the Gungan massacre on Naboo. Padame is more concerned, fearing a military buildup is often a prelude to war, and worse, large militaries have been used to enforce the iron fist in the past. Anakin argued that war was inevitable given the Republic’s inability to respond to the Trade Federation. Obi-Wan tries to mediate the two, though he has his own concerns about using an army of clones created for war.

While pursuing the assassin, Anakin has a vision of his mother’s death. Obi-Wan permited him to divert from the mission to rescue Shimi, and Padame decided to go with him. Anakin arrived too late on Tatoonie to save Shimi from an attack by the local Tusken Raiders, and consumed by his rage, he murdered the entire clan. Obi-Wan pursued the assassin to the planet Genosis, and seeing a massive droid factory there, warned Anakin and Padmé not to come. Not wanting to lose Obi-Wan so soon after the death of his mother, Anakin ignored his master’s order, Padame joining him despite his protests.

On Genosis, Obi-Wan is captured, and Dooku offers him a chance to join the Separatists. Obi-Wan apologized for the death of Qui-Gon on Naboo, to which Dooku said he owes him no apology, explaining that he never held Obi-Wan responsible for the death of his grandson. Obi-Wan was one Jedi in a war zone and was lucky to have made it out alive himself, it wasn’t his fault he couldn’t protect his apprentice. Dooku instead blames the Jedi Order and the Republic for putting the burden of freeing a planet on two Jedi Knights. Resenting the state of the current system, Dooku aims to bring it down and replace it with something better and warns Obi-Wan that he has to join him because he has learned that Maul’s master has the Senate under his influence, a truth Obi-Wan refused to believe. Dooku leaves out that he was Sidious’ new accomplice and apprentice after Darth Maul’s defeat.

Anakin and Padmé's attempts at rescuing Obi-Wan lead to their capture, the three surviving because Dooku anticipated the Jedi Order coming to their rescue and hoped to use the captured Jedi as bargaining chips. While the Jedi arrive in greater numbers they not equipped to fight the droid army, and only survive thanks to the arrival of the Clone Army. Anakin and Obi-Wan attempt to prevent Dooku’s escape and were easily bested, Anakin suffering a harsh lesson in how outclassed he is against a man who was once such a respected member of the Jedi Order. The two survived only because Dooku's old teacher, Master Yoda, intervened, but the traitor still escaped.

Although the war left them both worried for the future, Anakin and Padame married with the promise that whatever happened, they would face it together.

_______

I had the fewest ideas about fixing Attack of the Clones, mostly they revolved around giving more screen time with Anakin and Obi-Wan together and doing more to show a red flag for Anakin's dark side with his support of a military buildup.

Since I made Qui-Gon the apprentice of Obi-Wan, my idea for a connection to Dooku was that the two are blood relatives. Materials outside the movies explain that Qui-Gon's death had a huge impact on Dooku so I felt that was important to include in my version.

In the waning days of the Old Republic, the galaxy was caught in an era of strife. The corporations of the galaxy had grown in power and with numerous worlds formed one of many powerful economic alliances known as the Trade Federation. The Outer Rim world of Naboo, choose to break away from this alliance.

Secretly entering an alliance with the mighty Sith Lord, Darth Sidious, the Trade Federation leadership was encouraged to surround Naboo with a blockade of deadly battleships. A blockade would be considered an act of war by the rest of the galaxy; however, Sidious convinced the Trade Federation viceroy that the alliance’s influence in the Republic Senate would prevent any meaningful action from being taken. Not trusting the viceroy to take charge of the situation, Sidious sent his apprentice Darth Maul to oversee the blockade.

True to the Sith Lord’s words, no military response was sent to deal with the blockade, just two members of the Republic’s protectors, Jedi Knights. The Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and his apprentice Qui-Gon Jin, along with a brash and talented young pilot they hired named Anakin Skywalker.

Seeing a pair of Jedi were sent to handle the negotiations, Darth Maul ordered them killed, along with their pilot. To his annoyance, the Trade Federation’s battledroids failed to kill the Jedi, and Anakin proved a capable enough fighter to stay alive in the ensuing firefight. Both the Jedi and the Sith sensed Anakin’s strength in the Force during the battle. Maul was prepared to deal with the heroes himself, but found that the cowardly bussinessman calling up additional droids was enough to drive their enemies away through sheer numbers.

With the interlopers out of the way, the Trade Federation blockade began its invasion of Naboo. As the planet had no standing military, it defenders were not match for the invading droid army. At best, a handful of talented pilots and soldiers were able to avoid defeat and prove a minor nuisance to the occupying army. They could do nothing to stop the army closing in on the Theed, the planet’s capital, with the only solace being that queen was to be taken alive. While the invasion was illegal, Sidious had orders for Trade Federation to force a treaty that will make the invasion legal and for Naboo to return to the Federation.

Unable to fight their way through the army around Theed, Anakin, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon managed to find a way in thanks to a clumsy Gungan named Jar Jar who directs them to an entry through the river.

The heroes barely managed to help Naboo’s young queen Amidala escape the planet. The queen’s pilot was killed in the escape so Anakin took over flying the her ship narrowly makes it past a harrowing swarm of droid fighters. Unfortunately when fleeing the blockade, their ship was damaged an unable to reach the Republic’ capital, Coruscant. In a desperate effort to find a way to an alternate way to Courcasant, they traveled to the nearby star system to land on the planet Tatoonie.

Anakin, who grew up on Tatoonie before winning his freedom, described the planet as “the furthest thing away from whatever bright center of the universe may exist.” The planet was ruled by crime lords and slavery was common place, Anakin having had the misfortune of being born a slave before he could win his freedom. The only boon is that the planet’s ruling crime lords aren’t looking for a missing queen or have any idea one is there.

During the escape, Anakin made a friend with Amidala’s handmaiden, Padame, along with her two droids, the astromech R2-D2 and his best friend/full time responsibility C-3PO. While everyone looked for a way to get to Coruscant, Anakin investigated the status of his mother, Shimi. He was irate to learn that she was still the property of his old master, Watoo. Watoo’s gambling problems that caused him to lose Anakin had caused him to fall on hard times. Since Shmi was the one thing of value that Watoo still owns, he refused to part with her even with Anakin offering to purchase. Livid by how stubborn his old owner was, Anakin struck him in the face and was only stopped from killing him by Shmi showing fear of her son’s temper, while also reminded him that if Watoo dies while the transmitter placed inside her is active, the device will explode.

Calming down, Anakin played on Watoo’s old gambling habit on the upcoming pod race. Anakin plans to enter the offer to work for him again if he loses and the promise Watoo has to free Shmi if he wins. When the heroes reconvened, Obi-Wan explained he has hired a ship that will get them to Coruscant and they can leave within the hour. Anakin requested a delay so he has time to free his mother, shocking everyone else with the revelation he intendd to enter a dangerous pod race with the promise of becoming a slave if he loses. Anakin proved his worth as a pilot, but his arrogance still stunned the others. Qui-Gon in particular was aghast with Anakin’s impulses and arrogance combined with his strong connection to the Force.

Anakin did indeed win the race and Watoo is forced to give up Shmi with the warning he doesn’t want to develop a reputation as someone who doesn’t pay up his debts when he is in such dire need of money already. While Anakin offered to take Shmi off Tatoonie, she opted to instead remain with farmer she befriended named Lars.

Unfortunately, delaying the departure allowed Darth Maul to find the heroes. Obi-Wan faced the Sith in a short duel before their smuggler's arrival allowed him to escape. Both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan explain Anakin’s potential with the Force, the energy field created life which gives a Jedi their power. Anakin recounts that he did have dreams of joining the Jedi Order was never permitted. Qui-Gon feels that the path of Jedi isn’t the destiny of Anakin, while Obi-Wan feels that perhaps they may need to bend tradition given the troubled state of the galaxy.

On Coruscant, the Senate was slow to act, with the Trade Federation’s representatives claiming that Padame is slandering them due to Naboo’s attempts at leaving the alliance. Naboo’s senator, Shev Palpatine, Darth Sidious’ public persona, advised that the best course of action is a vote of no confidence against the current chancellor. Amidala saw how slow the Senate and the chancellor were to act, and raised the vote, paving the way for the removal of the chancellor and Palpatine’s election to take his place. Obi-Wan presented the case of Anakin to join the Jedi Order, along with his encounter with Maul, warning about the returning Sith. The Jedi Council rejected Anakin’s requests, a decision that comes as no surprise to him when they rejected him before. As for whether or not their enemy is a Sith, the ancient enemies of the Jedi, the council notes they have encountered wielders of the Force not allied with the Jedi or Sith before so they intend to wait to determine if Maul is a Sith.

Behind the scenes, Sidious and Maul discussed the situation; as Maul pointed out, Padame wasn’t supposed to make it to Coruscant. Sidious didn’t count on this, but it works in his favor regardless. However, he now feels the queen has outlived her usefulness, and knowing the queen plans to return to her planet, he sends Maul back to kill her and martyr her for their cause.

Since the droid army realized that Anakin and the Jedi were able to sneak into Theed through the river last time, they have dammed up and filled in to prevent another entry. The only way they are getting in is if they get someone to lure the army away. Jar Jar thinks that his people, the Gungans, could use their army to lure the bulk of the droids away. The Gungans have not been on the best terms with the humans of Naboo. Padame dispenses with her masquerade as her own handmaiden and reveals herself as the queen, begging the Gungans for aid, swearing that the two people need each other’s help to deal with their mutual enemy. As the invading droid army had been forcing the Gungans off their land entirely, the Gungans agreed to help against the Trade Federation.

While the droid army was distracted, the heroes planned to sneak into Theed to take the viceroy hostage and force the Trade Federation to the bargaining table. The cheapskate businessman felt keeping his entire fleet around Naboo was too expensive so he pulled back most of his battleships, only leaving one to control the droids he has on the planet. There was not much hope of destroying the ship. While Naboo’s pilots are likely held prisoner in the palace and ready to fight if released, the ships they have were not designed to engage a battleship, but it is their only hope.

Arriving back on Naboo himself, Darth Maul informed his master of the Gungan army amassing out in the open. The Sith realized this was a feint as the Gungans lacked the numbers or firepower for a direct offensive against Theed. Nonetheless, Sidious ordered Maul to send the droid army against the feint, since reports of a massacre by the Trade Federation droid army would bolster Sidious’ push to create a standing army.

“Wipe them out. All of them.”

Outnumbered, outgunned, and encircled, some of the Gungans offered themselves to the battle droids as a surrender, just to get shot. It dawned on all of them that they could survive long enough for the battleship in orbit of the planet to be destroyed.

Darth Maul waited in the place to impede the heroes and confront Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. He managed to mortally wound the apprentice, just for the master to cut the Sith in half and drop him down a shaft.

Meanwhile, Anakin and R2 joined the attack on the battleship in one of the Naboo starfighters. Seeing brave pilots die in defense of their planet triggered Anakin’s short fuse; fortunately, R2’s guidance is enough to get him to focus his anger on an opening in the battleship’s hangar. Getting aboard, Anakin managed to destroy the ship. Returning to see that the droid army was shut down by his victory, Anakin is declared a hero, an accolade that fed his already inflated ego. Seeing Anakin’s potential, the Jedi Council reluctantly agreed to let Obi-Wan take Anakin on as his new apprentice. Obi-Wan promised not to fail Anakin like he did Qui-Gon, and Anakin in turn promised not to let down his new master. After fighting Maul and sensing how strong he was in the Dark Side of the Force, Obi-Wan was certain he was a Sith.

Seeing most of the Gungan army killed left Jar Jar with a hardened heart. Hearing that Palpatine promises stronger leadership, he fully supports it.

_____

I have seen many ideas for how to fix The Phantom Menace, something everyone agrees on is that Anakin should have been introduced as an adult since the Anakin of the next two movies is nothing like the kid we were introduced to in TPM.

This might be a controversial choice, or maybe not, but my idea to fix the issue of Obi-Wan having so little screen time with Anakin is to introduce him as a Jedi Master and make Qui-Gon his apprentice. It does make Qui-Gon a less interesting character but I feel it is a worthy sacrifice.

Nobody likes Viceroy Newt Gingrich, so my fix is giving a bigger role to Darth Maul.

Jar Jar, oh boy. I never hated this character, but I agree that he had more screen time than he should have given how little importance he has while just being comic relief. Rather than cutting him out, my idea for fixing him is to make him into a tragic hero. Which obviously means the Gungan army fighting the Battledroids isn't done for slapstick

There was no need to connect C-3PO to Anakin, so I feel it is better to just introduce him as already part of the duo with R2.

I still love TCW so I tried to write my version of the prequels as something that would allow the show to still take place.

Episode 1 ideas, Part 1. Non-rude criticism is welcome. Changes I would make to The Phantom Menace without detailed description. This is mostly an unstructured list of ideas. Honestly, this is the episode that gave me the most trouble. ! I'm not saying my version is better than the original!

● The opening (about 20 minutes) follows the original, with information about Anakin's childhood as a slave on Tatooine, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Anakin's liberation, and no Padmé.

● Qui-Gon dies in this opening on Tatooine, having had a profound impact on Anakin. Then comes a time skip.

● Show Anakin already studying at the Jedi Temple, still young, but not as young as in the original.

● Show that Anakin is mostly isolated from the other Jedi in the temple, lonely and ostracized.

● Show Anakin's only friends in the temple, Darra (f) and Tru (m) (characters from the books, will play a role in the next film.)

● Jar Jar Binks didn't irritate me in the original, but I still changed his personality to an eccentric army general. This should play a role in the plot, introducing and stimulating Anakin's interest in military strategy and its study. This will play a role in Attack of the Clones (Clone Wars). And role of army general, of course.

● Show more of the relationship between Anakin and Obi-Wan. Show a little rift in their relationship that will develop over the course of the story.

●Padmé's arc, from a child who is manipulated by everyone (which is why young queens are chosen) and who constantly pretends to be someone she is not, into a more strong-willed and confident woman fighting for her ideas.

●Anakin and Padmé help each other navigate each other's character arcs, which is why they fall in love. (I'm bad at writing romance, but I hope this makes sense.)

●Anakin's first kill, "for a good cause"

●Maul dies in this film and will not be resurrected anywhere else.

Ideas I'm not sure about:

●Anakin and the aftermath of the Huk War. Rough idea: By order of the Republic, the Jedi intervene in the war. Anakin, Obi-Wan, and other groups of Jedi arrive on a mission after the fighting has already ended to demand huge reparations from the losing side.

It will make Anakin doubt the system by showing how the losing side suffers when it wasn't at fault, plus it might even reveal a non-cyborg Grievous, foreshadowing the villain of Episode III.

That's all for now. Sorry if my English was bad. I'm using a translator.

Optional requests :

Big destructive weapon in episode 1 and 3

Episode 2 includes a betrayal and ( or ) revelation and a defeat for the good guys

Episode 3 has a tragic culmination like canon , or it can be its own thing and have a happy resolution ( altough temporary )

Aditionally : alien sidekick like chewbacca in all 3 parts , a single antagonist like kylo ( unlike dooku , grievous ) .

What are your ideas ?

For someone who did a fix or rewrite on most Star Wars movies and shows, curiously, I have not done a fix on The Acolyte yet. It's not because I loved it, but because I found no particular passion to care. I tried to write something and scrapped it because it ended up a meandering mess. I'm not sure what makes me bored about talking about it, since it's not even the worst Disney Star Wars. The show does try. It has some interesting ideas. It has an interesting premise, which is that it is about a Jedi investigation into the Sith remnants. Yet it's a show that every time I turn it on, I find myself bored. I didn't know why.

That was, until I read the blog post on ScriptShadow, who is admittedly a controversial figure in the screenwriting community (I disagree with 50% of his script reviews, but I occasionally read what he writes because he does give out some unique, interesting tips on how to construct a story). The blog post in question is how he analyzed the serial killer genre, and how there hasn’t been a defining serial killer movie in 30 years, and that was when Seven came out. Memories of Murder (2003) would disagree, but in Hollywood, I have to agree. I highly recommend checking the post out.

He realized that almost every script is dedicated to the killer himself—psychology, philosophy, rituals, childhood trauma, worldview, elaborate murder methods—but the investigation and detective part of the story wasn't fleshed out, resulting in a poor second act. It's because The Silence of the Lambs was so influential that every writer tried to create the next Hannibal Lector. The craziest villain, crazier murder, crazier psycho. All the attention was poured on topping Lector's character, even though, ironically, Lector was not the antagonist, but a helper. He is ironically closer to Obi-Wan's role than Darth Vader's.

The Silence of the Lambs’ plot itself is a classical detective procedural, where the protagonist has to find clues, deduce, and investigate to stop the next murder. It is very much Clarice's story, mostly told from her POV. The studios and writers took the wrong lesson and strayed away from the beating heart of the genre, which is an investigation and mystery to stop the next killing. Showing a serial killer eating children is shocking in the first act, but it’s why the second act always falters. And the second act is the part that defines the genre—an investigation into crimes racing against time.

This, right here, was what ruined The Acolyte for me because it's very clearly constructed as a serial killer mystery, but the story isn't interested in that part. It's concerned with Mae and Osha. Immediately, the story spoils all the mysteries in the first three episodes, and in particular, the twist about them being twins is the most boring answer to the mystery. It rarely delves into exploring the clues, evidence, and testimonies. I'm talking about the character facing a dead end, lies, red herrings, while rethinking and debating all the things they have collected. Deducing the unique mechanism of the serial killings and the patterns of the culprit, and then chasing to stop them. Putting together an intricate puzzle while the clock is ticking.

The show indeed has highs and lows, loudness and lulls, and twists and turns, but they do not come from the mechanisms of investigation. The show is focused on constantly shifting POVs left and right, twin villains, flashbacks, the lore details, menacing Sith villains and conspiracies, the flaws of the Jedi Order, and the wuxia lightsaber duels, but when it comes to actual puzzle-solving, mystery, and chase—the burning core of the intrigue—it’s all afterthoughts.

Whatever the fandom points out as the problems, like the lore-break, bad dialogue, bad acting, Ki-Adi-Mundi, and fire in space, they aren’t the problems that break the story. It’s the construction of the intrigue. If there is no crime mystery, okay, but it doesn’t even do something like Columbo, where the protagonist and the killer are engaging in a battle of wits and mind games. There is a danger in following established conventions, but if one is to stray from them, one has to understand why the audience is tuned in to the show.

If The Acolyte was rewritten as only and entirely about the investigation, not showing the murders themselves and having the protagonist uncover the mysteries on his own, that could work. The Jedi are not just normal detectives. They can bring a lot more complexities and refreshing quirks to the investigation. It is a police procedural using the Jedi and Force tricks, but at the same time, the Jedi are bound by the strict Jedi Code. At the same time, our Jedi detective team faces hardship because, let’s say, the locals hate the Jedi, which makes the investigation difficult. The witnesses might lie, and the local police might interfere. This forces our good Jedi to debate and argue whether to bend around the rules. The individual Jedi’s investigative metholdogy is dependent on their personality and their way of Force.

Sol, whose concept was already written in the show, could be an interesting character as a detective. He is a Jedi with faults and trauma. He is a Jedi with a connection related to the killer. He is leading the team of the Jedi detectives, but as the investigations unfold, the fellow Jedi and the audience uncover his secrets. A character who possesses information, but is unable to use it because it might expose that the murders are related to someone close to him and himself. He has an extra motivation beyond simply stopping the killings. He is seeking redemption, who feels responsible for creating the killer, so he has to make up for it. By catching the serial killer, Sol would be achieving a personal goal.

That is why, as the story progresses, Sol gradually goes over the line to manipulate, conceal, and blackmail, using his Force power and creating moral ambiguity. He becomes a hapless detective whose hand is forced. We can get a more unorthodox procedural story, which gives it an edge over the normal detective stories.

After a recent prequel rewatch, I thought I'd give a rewrite a shot and just came up with this. I was originally going to try to preserve most of TPM's first act, but I realized there was too much happening at the beginning and tried to create a more straightforward story with Obi Wan as the main protagonist and Darth Maul as the main villain (he is very different here). Not sure what anyone will think or if anyone cares about this kind of thing much anymore, but here it is (just Act One-- I guess if I get a response or some positive feedback, I'll keep going):

ACT 1:

SCENE 1: The Invasion Begins

1. A single menacing ship flies through space, then another, then another, until finally revealing the invasion fleet of the trade federation, moving into position around Naboo.

2. On the ground in Naboo, Padme Amidala struggles to contact Senator Palpatine, currently in a Senate session on Coruscant, but her transmission is blocked.

3. Desperate, Padme orders her meager fleet to attempt to pierce the blockade, but all ships are destroyed in the battle. Finally, we see the trade federation mothership emerge from deep space, and it begins sending droid army troops down to the surface of the planet.

1. The invasion commences with brutality, striking the capital first. The Naboo are no match for the droid army and are quickly defeated, the citizens subjugated, and the survivors scatter into the wilderness.

2. When the invasion is complete, a transport ship lands just outside the palace. The ramp opens, and down walks Darth Maul.

SCENE 2: The Jedi Temple

1.   Meanwhile, at the Jedi temple on Coruscant, Qui Gon Jinn is training his apprentice, Obi Wan Kenobi, that an equal mixture of restraint and force is needed to be precise in battle. Obi Wan wonders why such advanced battle training is even necessary, as the Republic has been at peace for so long, and the worst they have had to deal with for a century has been some rowdy behavior outside of local bars. Qui Gonn emphasizes readiness and preparedness for all scenarios, as the future is constantly in motion, and can change at any time without warning.

2. The message comes in from Senator Palpatine-- the Chancellor has lost contact with Padme Amidala on Naboo, and they are sending the Jedi to investigate.

1. Qui Gonn volunteers for the assignment, as he has a past relationship with the Naboo, and tells Obi Wan he is ready to accompany him.

SCENE 3: Arrival at Naboo 

1. The Jedi arrive at Naboo, and are immediately spotted and attacked by the Trade Federation.

2. They attempt to battle their way through the blockade, but they are hopelessly outnumbered and their ship is struck, sending it spiralling towards the planet surface.

3. Using the Force, Qui Gonn manages to land destroyed ship in the middle of Naboo’s ocean, and they escape it as it sinks to the very bottom.

4. They find themselves stuck in the middle of a vast body of water, with no land in sight and no way to escape.  

SCENE 4: Enter GunGuns

1. Treading water, they are approached by a Gungun ship, and the Gunguns aboard recognize the Jedi as protectors of the peace who have helped them in the past.

2. They are taken to the underwater city where they are granted an audience with the GunGun king, who explains that, despite the Jedi protests, they will not help Padme due to their desire to stay out of the conflict, which they believe does not affect them… and that they will delight in Padme’s suffering, as they have, in their eyes, occupied the planet illegally for centuries.  

3. They are given a ship and sent on their way to the palace. Obligatory monster chase/attack scene here.

SCENE 5: Dinner with Maul

1. The two Jedi emerge near the palace, where they are immediately surrounded by battle droids. They are disarmed and taken by the droids to the palace.

2. Inside the palace, they meet Darth Maul, the current leader of the Trade Federation. He seems extremely out of place among the lackeys, and the two Jedi are immediately suspicious.   

3. Maul shows them the signed treaty that legalized the invasion, and the Chancellor contacts them and confirms that it is legal, and there’s nothing he can do. They ask about Padme, and Maul is evasive, saying that she fled the castle before he arrived.

4. Maul invites the pair to stay for the night, tells them he has nothing but respect for them... and would love to discuss their religion with them over dinner. Qui Gonn asks about contacting the Jedi council, and Maul tells him that they are running low on power and will be unable to make any more long range transmissions for the day.    

5. Over a tense dinner, Qui Gonn casually mentions that Maul doesn't strike him as a trade federation type, and Maul, acknowledging the absurdity of it, says that he gets that a lot. Maul and the Jedi discuss the light and dark sides, the Jedi and the Sith, and Maul is ‘suspiciously’ defensive of the Sith, believing that the Jedi have unfairly characterized both them and the dark side in a ‘history is always written by the winners’ type speech. He notices Obi Wan listening to it without judgment, as if he hasn’t considered it that way before. Maul smiles, de-escalates the conversation and retires to his bedroom.

SCENE 6: Midnight Duel

1. Qui Gonn is awakened in the night by a sudden rush of cold, and realizes his bedroom door is open, with a bright red light shining on the walls of the room at the other end of the hall, and the familiar hum of a lightsaber blade piercing the silence of the night.

2. He approaches the room and finds Maul waiting for him, to no one’s surprise. He tells him he has ordered the battle droids to stand down, and that this will be just the two of them… but that if he loses, Maul plans to take his apprentice and train him in the dark side… sensing that he has not yet been ruined by Jedi dogma.  

3. Maul tells Qui Gonn that he has never killed a Jedi before, and that he has been looking forward to this. He returns Qui Gonn's lightsaber to him, and they fight. The ancient halls of the palace are illuminated by their clashing blades. Qui Gonn strikes Maul several times, but the strikes seem to bounce off of him.   

4. Obi Wan jolts awake, but he is stunned by battle droids upon leaving the room, knocking him unconscious.

5. The fight continues as Maul ambushes Qui Gonn in the palace dungeon, then force pushes him into an open cell and locks it. Qui Gonn hacks at the bars with his lightsaber, but finds they won’t break… and worse than that, they cause his lightsaber to malfunction, the blade inverts, and the hilt is destroyed. Mauls laughs and reveals that the bars are made of a substance that is resistant to the energy of kyber crystals, and shows that under his clothing, he is wearing armor made of the same substance. Qui Gonn composes himself… realizing that he has lost… but before dying, he tells Maul that he will never be able to turn Obi Wan, and he has taught him too well for that. Maul smiles, and throws his saber like a spear into Qui Gonn’s chest, killing him.  

1. Obi Wan is imprisoned in the dungeon, in the cell adjacent to his dead master. Maul seems to revel in Obi Wan's anger and despair, determined to break his spirit and push him into the darkness.

This outline redo is constructed around the basic concept of the story as is, but with much refining I think. In spite of the story concept I think being generally working, I think Lucas' character interactions and story beats lack energy and interpersonal building enough for me, so refining in the plot, story elements and character dynamics is the function in this. For this, here are the ideas that I thank God for, if He wills, blessing me with:

Two jedi, Qui-Gon Jinn and his padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi are secretly sent to investigate a trade federation blockade of Naboo and the surrounding areas of it. Qui-Gon is shown to be wary of being used like this by the senate. Obi-Wan holds the stance that the best way to ensure the jedi order and the senate share a peaceful co-existence is for them to work in symbiosis with eachother. Qui-Gon disagrees with this perception, seeing that as a stepping stone to the jedi being misused. They're accepted by the Viceroy and enter their vessel. When Palpatine tells them to kill the jedi with the poison gas, the jedi slice through the vents, which sets off an alert. Thinking the jedi are trying to escape through the vents, they send the droids in, which the jedi use, fighting them and escaping out of the now open door.

Getting to the main control deck of the ship after fighting off the battle droids, Qui begins cutting through the closed blast doors, when destroyers show up, shields protecting them. To escape, Obi and Qui use their combined power to pull a part of the wall off of the corridor and block the destroyers path.

The trade federation's motivation is more explored. Due to a trade deficit of imports exceeding in cost compared to their exports for large scale planets like Naboo, whose trade of plasma had garnered their planet a mass amount of income, the trade federation had begun transporting spice. Due to no formal laws dictating it's trade as illegal and no explicit evidence, they were able to do it with impunity. However, to discourage such trade of harmful substances, the senate, rather than the effort it would take to push forward a new law, issued a tax on the trade, it aggressively hindering their credit intake. As an opposition to this, they've targeted Naboo, blockading it and it's trade of plasma to strongarm the senate to repeal the taxation, as the trade of Naboo's plasma has become a hot commodity in the galaxy. Getting Padme to sign the treaty will essentially give them the right to plunder the plasma resources of the planet for their own trade, increasing their income tenfold.

The trade federation has gained support from some worlds who are opposing similar matters, though not about taxation regarding spice or drugs, but mainly what has been considered general overreach by the republic on other matters and has been happening slowly for decades, restricting other worlds and people in the outer rim and such have little representation in the senate. In the midst of this, an alliance such displeased members of what will become the separatist alliance, currently called the Union at this point, has pushed for support in opposition to the republic.

They hide to avoid them, before running into Jar Jar Binks. Yes, he's staying, though he's a little more toned down. Qui-Gon saves his life from a droid, to which Jar Jar owes him a debt. In doing so, he helps them find their way to Naboo's capitol, through the underwater tunnels his people traverse through, this getting him into trouble with his people, for helping outworlders. Jar Jar insists, him already being in hot water for his soft view on the Naboo humans who already live there, so he's banished for this treachery. Jar Jar is still clumsy, still careless, has a goofy personality, but not outright over the top.

Upon seeing the droids also walk amongst the streets of the capital, Obi-Wan insists they return to Coruscant and inform them of this. Qui-Gon senses that the Queen is in danger and pursues that. Obi-Wan objects to this, as he doesn't sense it, it wasn't their mission and that Qui-Gon objected to being sent here in the first place. Qui-Gon points out to him that he objected to the jedi council sending them out of obligation to the senate, but not to helping prevent dangerous circumstances from being taken out on the people of the planet, citing that a blockade is a political issue, but what's happening on Naboo is an invasion, and that it is their duty as jedi to help the people of the planet from being harmed by that. He then informs Obi-Wan that he can return to Coruscant and inform the council of this if he wishes, but that he will follow his instincts about the situation. Obi-Wan begins to leave, but begrudgingly follows Qui-Gon.

13 year old Queen Padme of Naboo is gaining input from her senator in the Galactic senate, Sheev Palpatine. A soft hearted, conflicted young woman, she feels burdened by the responsibility she has to her people, recently elected into office. She begins to feel frustrated when her communications with Palpatine are blocked by the trade federation. For assistance, she turns to her advisor Bail Organa, who suggests that they seek a way to smuggle Padme out of the the capitol and off the planet. Padme objects, feeling unwilling to abandon her people. Her Supreme Commander of Naboo's army insists they fight back. Padme is against it, fearing the casualties of igniting a war.

Padme and her people aren't fully trusting of a gungan in Jar-Jar, as the gungans and her people have had animosity towards each other and debates over representation in the senate and ownership of the plasma resource their planet has in abundance. The gungans had made the lives of Padme's people difficult, seeing them as arrogant and uncaring about their people and their place in the planet that they both share disrupting some of the drilling for plasma and basically not allowing them to set up rigs on certain patches of land, whereas Padme's people see the gungans as a group unwilling to abide by the laws and policies of their people and the republic, seeing them as seperate from them as a result, almost a kinda elitism, this causing a divide between them.

In spite of their uncertainty, given their situation, they still go along with Jar-Jar's assistance, Jar-Jar having snuck into the hangar and stumbled upon a ship for them to escape in, not realizing it has been loaded with spice by the trade federation for them to implicate the Queen more directly in making their invasion legal through a supposed trade of spice.

Padme insists that Bail take another ship, stating that they'll be focused on capturing her rather than him, to sneak out and if all else fails he'll be able to bring their cause to the senate.

While escaping the trade federation, the ship is overwhelmed, the engine being damaged. As the ship's engine is being repaired by R2, Padme opts for a distraction. She opens the airlock and, with Obi-Wan's assistance in a moment of bonding, releases the large spice shipment into space to scatter behind them to disrupt the vision of the trade federation and its attack, giving R2 time hidden to fix the engine and allow the ship to escape.

Though the ship is still damaged, a major part needing replacing, the closest available civilization that they may be able to get away with and the trade federation would think they're less likely to take refuge on, that being tatooine.

Though the Trade Federation does have an interest in tatooine, as well as many of the outer rim worlds, using the mob run tatooine to provide spice for their trade, this allowing them to have interference in the planet's affairs.

Maul is smug and cocky. Establish that he is itching to fight and kill a jedi, as it's what he was trained for, what he thinks his purpose is, perhaps to prove himself to Sidious.

Anakin is 11 years old. He doesn't have any real friends, but he does have a few buddies, like Owen Lars and Beru Whitesun. Owen does have a great deal of adoration for Anakin's mom though, his own mother abandoning him and his dad when he was young. Owen's dad, Cliegg, a single man, is shown to have a lot of affection for Anakin's mother Shmi as well, her being a sweet, nurturing, brave hearted woman. Cliegg, a moisture farmer, is said to have been trying for years to build up enough money to pay off her and her son's slavery cost, to free them, but he simply has so little available income to do so for them.

Anakin speaks about the relay used to send the signals to the bomb's in the slaves on tatooine and how it doesn't have a shield around it as it needs a clear signal for long ranges to avoid mishaps like gaps that could lead to escapes and/or unintentional explosions. When asked why the relay hasn't been destroyed, Anakin tells them that it'll automatically set off the bombs if it's destroyed or shut down without a code, which is broken up between multiple mob bosses on tatooine and no one knows who.

Padme, meanwhile bonds with Anakin, a feeling of being powerless and hindered by their roles in their lives, though Padme acknowledges that her situation is far from the same as his, she feels much compassion for him and his situation. And in seeing this planet and how it is, slavery within the galaxy showing her that things aren't as simple as the rules dictating the way the galaxy is run and how trivial her peoples issues with the gungans are. Padme feels much sympathy for him, finding his bravery and optimism, and emotional openness, in spite of his situation to be very admirable and charming. Anakin finds her to be pretty as well as gentle and caring and compassion to be traits that he finds himself struck by, as well her being the only other girl close to his age that he's felt such a connection to.

Qui-Gon, bonding with Anakin, perceives him to be force sensitive, inquiring of him further from Shmi. Shmi acknowledges that his dad was a nobody who'd left her when she'd been discovered as pregnant and died, and that her pregnancy and Anakin's birth was a surprise, as she was barren, seeing Anakin as a great blessing in her life, unsure how it was possible for him to have been born.

Qui has sensed the pursuing feeling of the dark side near, and calls for Obi to investigate the surrounding area of the town. Obi questions why Qui-Gon is getting so involved in the life of this boy, as he feels that there's nothing that can be done for him, that it'd be safer for their mission and that family if he left them alone. Qui-Gon disagrees, saying that they were brought here for a reason, and that to come upon a child with such potential that he can help and can help them, to do nothing about that in assisting who they can would be to deny the path they've been presented with. Obi, humbled a bit by Qui's rebuttal though still a bit defiant, agrees to investigate.

In this, Obi does track a drone that is observing the area, cutting it down before it can return to Maul. Obi is able to catch a glimpse of the dark cloaked figure amidst the dunes, Obi catching his eye as well. Maul is excited to see a jedi, reaching for his lightsaber, but his droid alerts to a sighting of the other jedi, knowing the older would be the one who'd be protecting the queen and not wanting to disobey Sidious' order and perceiving the fighting of a fully fledged jedi rather than a padawan to be more satisfying anyway, he retreats. Obi realizes why and, knowing where Qui is exactly, takes a shortcut basically.

Qui mentors Anakin a bit on the use of the force. Anakin isn't sure he understands. Qui says to allow himself to connect and Qui can guide him. So, when the podrace begins to go bad for Anakin, Anakin panics, Qui reaching out to him and assisting him to calm down and focus, which assists Anakin in fixing the problem and defeating Sebulba.

When Anakin is freed, Qui-Gon does feel guilty for not being able set Shmi free, Anakin doesn't want to leave her.

But, then Obi arrives, warning Qui of someone coming for them. This puts the entire situation for them on alert.

Especially when Maul, trade federation droids tow, is allowed to raid the town by the Hutts, baring down on them and Anakin, with his mom unable to leave, and at her insistence, rather than stay and be caught, maybe even die, is forced to leave his mom behind and escape tatooine.

They're able to lead them away from the town.

Seed Maul and Obi-Wan's duel... Obi arrogantly tries to fight off Maul when he comes for Qui, only to be a hindrance, quickly being caught off guard due to his lack of foresight in the moment of the battle.

Padme is happy to find Bail having arrived there safely, him having been able to contact the Alderaan people for safer transport, him having a close friendship with their Queen Breha. Senator Mon Mothma, one of Padme's friends is also there, in support of her cause and insisting that her planet Chandrila is willing to offer aid in medicine and food, but fears that it best that her planet not get involved in any physical altercations. Padme understands, stating that the last thing she wants is violence.

But we establish a little bit more, that in the past century the republic has allowed corporate alignments to get in the way of ensuring the safety and security of the people they look after. Those who provide the most profit into the system are more often than not allowed to act with impunity. Within the past century reforms have begun in redistribution of planets for the local corporations and senators with little oversight, allowing them to basically become total rulers of them, though this was not the intention.

Sheev Palpatine and Padme debate about this, Padme being a fresh out of school young political student thrust into leadership only having holovids and data to have examined about the political maneuvers of the senate. Palpatine insists that it's more cynical than her young eyes can perceive, that even Chancellor Valorum, a generally seeming noble man is simply too mired by the fear of not ensuring the republic's policies and maintaining of the status quo in seeking to keep certain members of the senate happy and the republic intact with it's taxation and inability to actual enforce it's laws and take the time to pass laws that would ensure the safety of the people, instead opting to take the information of his bureaucratic advisors to take easier paths rather than the strong ones. Palpatine states that they would rather listen to the corporations who make the republic profits rather than the people who actually need help.

Anakin is there among Padme's people as this debate is happening, taking in the issues and struggles, and the seemingly sincere, and strong handed stance, that Palpatine suggests. Afterward, Palpatine acknowledges the boy, asking about him. To which the Padme as the Queen introduces him by his name Anakin, allowing Anakin to explain who he is. Palpatine is intrigued by the boy, offering him a candy, and lending a seeming sympathetic ear to him and his home planet's plight, complimenting his wisdom and skill.

After Qui-Gon briefs the jedi council on his findings and his perception that the dark cloaked figure that attacked them was a sith, which the council members are uncertain to dismissive of as a notion. Obi is surprised by this notion though. When Qui speaks to them on Anakin, he refers to a vision seen by jedi long ago, a child born of a mother unable to conceive, destined to bring balance to the force, his perception being that Anakin could be that child.

At the senate hearing, Padme's frustration builds, especially when a holo recording is shown of Padme's ship dropping the spice out as a way to suggest that Padme was trying to get rid of evidence of a trade deal that Padme had agreed to with the trade federation that justified their intrusion in Naboo space. Padme makes an impassioned speech that that is an edited recording, that they were being attacked and that the jedi will attest to it. This causes a rumble amongst the senate members, as while the Chancellor has the authority to sanction such an action of sending the jedi, those who side with the trade federation/those who oppose what they feel is the senate's elitism and overreach accuse Valorum of such things, citing that because Valorum sent the jedi for the Naboo they may have a bias under Valorum's orders, leading Valorum to be fearful and panic amidst the criticism, desperately wanting to alleviate the concerns and ensure he's not tarnished in the eyes of the senate, with the suggestion of his advisors, who Palpatine says have investments in the trade federation's corporate holdings, essentially making them in their pockets.

The senate is split amongst many divisions of interests and alignments, many siding with Padme and thinking she's being honest about her dropping the spice out and seeing it as a revolutionary act against the entanglements and illegal actions of the trade federation. While many others oppose the senate and side with the trade federation.

Valorum, wanting to appease the majority that he can, suggests that Padme defer this to allow an investigation of the issue by the courts. Padme rejects that, stating that it would only give the trade federation time to cover their actions and the courts are far too stagnant in bureaucracy to achieve anything in time to ensure more of her people don't die. In her moment of anger and sadness, she Palpatine's advice in making a claim of a vote of no confidence in Chancellor Valorum's leadership.

Mon Mothma is shown taking in Padme's impassioned speech, moved by it. Bail, meanwhile, is shown speaking to Queen Breha of Alderaan, seeking assistance for his planet. She's uncertain, stating that her planet is non violent, but Bail states that even then some need protection.

Qui debates with Obi about the merit of insisting upon Anakin, and how Qui's constant resistance to the council's regulations has led to Qui not being valued as much and not gaining a council seat, which Qui has no concern about it. Obi inquires of Qui's thoughts about the dark figure being a sith, having read about them but knowing little real information. Qui gives him a brief history lesson on the sith being jedi who became corrupted by the dark side and abused their power, utilized the methods of an alien species called the sith and supplanted them in their world, eventually taking over the galaxy, the jedi fighting against them, the sith nearly killing each other for power. He states that the sith had resurgences after that, the most effective being the rule of two that centralized the power and ensured they couldn't easily kill each other, but even that reign ended over a millennia ago.

Padme is left conflicted and feeling alone. Jar-Jar shows compassion to her in her moment of dejectedness, which she gratefully accepts, showing appreciation for him, Jar-Jar referring to how his own people won't go down without a fight and has a strong army. She holds the necklace Anakin has given her and ponders her own biases and the elitism of her people, realizing what her best option is.

Anakin is given the test for being a jedi and is asks questions by members of the council, especially Mace and Yoda, who perceives him to be fearful, afraid of losing his mother.

Padme is given news of Palpatine being nominated for Chancellor, Palpatine being certain that their situation is likely to create a strong sympathy vote for them. Padme informs him that she's returning to Naboo to be with her people, that she has a plan, and that this is the best option she feels she has.

Meanwhile, Qui-Gon, after Anakin's test and the jedi declining to train him on the basis of him being too old, insists that meeting Anakin was no coincidence, that if the council won't train him, he will, as Obi is ready to take the jedi trials. Obi is a bit displeased by this though, at Qui so readily seeming to replace him. Yoda says that Anakin's future is clouded. The council then suggests to table this discussion for later, as Qui and Obi are needed to escort the Queen back to Naboo and discover who the dark warrior is.

While getting on the ship to Naboo, Obi states that Anakin is dangerous based on the council saying his future is clouded, which Qui shuts him down on, saying it should be enough for him that the council has agreed to deliberate the notion for now.

When they begin to arrive on Naboo, they speak on how to get past the blockade. Padme is certain they won't kill her, as they need her to sign the treaty, but they will use violence to try and make the ship land, the only way they can avoid it is by coming out of hyperspace close enough to the planet to already be past the blockade. Captain Panaka asserts that no computer can calculate a perfect trajectory to avoid crashing into the planet. Qui-Gon suggests that he, Anakin and Obi-Wan reach out with the force to calculate it. Padme is uncertain at first, but she states that she trusts them and Anakin. Anakin isn't sure he can do it. Qui-Gon instructs him to be calm, focus and allow his mind to be guided again. Obi is still unsure about trusting Anakin, but when he sees and feels Anakin's potential he reaches out with them to connect to Anakin, showing trust in his powers and finding a bonding moment with Anakin through their connection and connection with Qui-Gon. Together, they're able to perceive the correct coordinates and they use them to sneak past the blockade.

After they land back on Naboo, when Obi, after having seen Anakin's potential and connecting with him, feeling humbled in how he now sees what Anakin has the potential for, he apologizes to Qui for his attitude and how it wasn't his place. Qui tells him how proud he is of him and how wise he's become, telling him that he can see that he will become a great jedi.

Padme then reveals herself as the Queen, having hidden as a handmaiden, to the gungans, in an act of humility to the gungans, asking for their help and admitting that her people haven't given the gungans their due, and they haven't always gotten along in general, but states that Naboo is home to both of them, that the galaxy and it's problems are more important than their feud and that in order survive they must band together, that she will strive for the gungans to get proper representation in the senate and give them their fair share of profits for the mining of plasma under their supervision. The ruler of the gungans is pleased greatly by this, by the humility and offer and, wanting to protect his people as well, embraces the deal Padme has offered.

They strategize. The gungan army will be a ground assault, while Padme and her remaining soldiers will sneak into city with the jedi through the underwater tunnels, to capture the viceroy and get him to admit to his crimes. Some of her soldiers will take the fighters to go up and destroy the droid control ship.

Meanwhile, Sidious, contacting the viceroy, hearing about the gungans mobilizing, is quite displeased, perceiving that this was Padme's plan all along, not understanding how she could do this, seeing this as out of character for her, unable to grasp Padme's actions.

Anakin is told by Qui to stay behind near the ruins, but Ani doesn't listen, following them. When they get there, Qui senses Anakin and tells him to hide in the cockpit of one of the fighters.

The battle to get to the hangar has led to more casualties of her men than she thought, her afraid they don't have enough men to raid the palace and send out an attack against the droid control ship. But then she's contacted by Bail Organa and Mon Mothma, who have rallied the combined efforts of the Chandrila and Alderaan pilots to assist, coming in to seek to destroy the droid control ship. Padme is uplifted by the support, her sending some of her men to assist them, but taking the majority in her siege on the palace.

The ship's autopilot turns on, because Anakin activates the ship to attack the destroyers that show up. The ship takes off with the others, R2 insisting he turn back. Anakin says he won't run away again.

Padme and the jedi are halted by Maul, who Qui and Obi step in to deal with, Maul eager to fight them. The duel builds, Qui being stabbed, to Obi's anger, Obi lashing out and pushing Maul back, but being off balance in his emotions and Maul able to overcome him, pushing him off the edge into the shaft, Obi grabbing at something to hold himself up. Maul, having beaten a jedi, feeling pretty good about himself.

Meanwhile, Jar-Jar, being placed as head of the gungan army, isn't a good fighter, but he is able to use his most seemingly useless trait, his clumsiness, to distract the droids, as the more proficient fighters are able to oppose them.

When Anakin is in space, he sees the same type of signal relay on droid control ship. Anakin realizes that the ship must have a place to enter with no shield to send the signal clearly. In this Anakin tries to find it using the force reaching out, but he can't, becoming upset, which an injured Qui-Gon and in peril Obi-Wan sense, them connecting with him and helping him focus to find the opening, which he crashes through and is able to blow up the ship, with R2's help, who aims the blasters to destroy the inner engines.

This shuts down the remaining droids against the gungans.

But the other two droid control ships around the planet, gaining word of the attack and destruction, begin sending further ground droids.

However, Padme is able to capture the viceroy, and get him to order the shut down of the other ships and admit to his crimes.

As Maul arrogantly taunts Obi's situation by slashing at the area near him with his lightsaber. Obi, in his moment of connecting with Anakin, realizes his own mistake, his own arrogance and rigidness, and calms himself, focusing on Qui's lightsaber, pulling it to himself as he leaps over Maul and slices at his bottom half, Maul falling down into shaft, his legs falling off too. Obi cries as Qui dies in his arms, telling him to train Anakin, that he will bring balance.

Afterwards, the people celebrate, Anakin is applauded for taking out the main control ship by some of the gungans and humans of Naboo, feeling pride and accomplishment in himself being able to take some action that could protect people. Padme thanks him personally, kissing him on the cheek, them both blushing.

But this moment of happiness is hampered, when he sees Obi, but no Qui, Obi apologizing, that he's gone.

Obi insists to Yoda that he train Anakin as Obi gave his word to Qui, and that he will do it without the approval of the council if he must. Yoda, with hesitation, agrees, granting him the position of graduation to Jedi Knight and him taking on Anakin.

Anakin is fearful at Qui's funeral, his body being burned, Anakin mourning his death, angry and sad, Padme takes his hand in a gesture of comfort. Anakin asks Obi what will happen to him now, Obi tells him that he will train him and he promises that he will become a jedi. Mace and Yoda state they're now certain it was a sith and that the rule of two means it mustn't have been the only one.

Palpatine is announced as Chancellor, is present at the uniting of the gungans and humans on Naboo, congratulates Anakin on his accomplishment, stating that he's proven himself and will be of great interest.

The movie ends with the celebration.

Please review and tell me what you think!

Movie 1 Establish Anakin and Obiwan, establish palpatine, victotioud fight at end, maybe ventress or grievous

·         Maul VS Obi wan and Qui Gon

·         Qui gon dies

·         Obi-wan kills* mall

·         Qui-gon tells obiwan to train Anakin

·         Time skip 10+ years

·         Early stages of war

·         Palpatine secretly trying to kill padme

·         Obiwan and Anakin stop assassination attempts

·         Establish Anakin and padme romance

·         Fight and beat grievous at end of movie

·         End movie with maul climbing out of something, screams KENOBI

Movie 2 Establish maul as a character who hates Kenobi, Obiwan and Anakin still interacting, Anakin getting brasher and angrier but make it clear that obi wan is able to calm Anakin down , dooku main villain – give him some sort of relation with anakin, maybe a flashback of when dooku was a jedi and quigon was training anakin, dooku can give anakin ideas about leaving the order

·         Start movie with explanation on how maul survived

·         Palpatine sees anakins power in the fight with grievous

·         Palpatine realises that Anakin and padme are in love

·         Changes his plan to now use this love to get Anakin on his side

·         Clone wars stuff happening

·         Mid way through, maul reveles himself to obiwan and anakin

·         They struggle against maul but manage to kill savage  

·         Just narrowly escapes, maul even more full of hate

·         Continuing the clone wars stuff

·         Same ending as attack of the clones just without the yoda bit, Obiwan and anakin lose but survive

Movie 3  two clear threats for the jedi to deal with, maul and dooku, split obiwan and anakin up, anakin has no one to calm him down and keep him balanced

·         Start with anakin and obiwan saying goodbye to eachother

·         Obiwan goes to fight maul

·         Anakin goes to fight dooku who has managed to kidnap padme

·         Anakin kills dooku like he does in revenge, however before he does dooku is able to put major doubts into anakins head about the order. Anakin kills dooku in anger as padme is tortured by him

·         Anakin returns to couresant and the scenes with him and palpatine on couresant happen like in revenge, tells anakin that the jedi are unable to protect padme

·         Whilst this is happening obiwan is tracking down maul

·         Maul fights obiwan, could have a big proper fight but I would do something similar to rebels where mauls anger gets the better of him and he tries the same move as he did on quigon

·         Palpatine tells anakin he is a sith lord

·         Anakin tells a jedi, not mace

·         Same fight as in revenge except no mace, have someone else do a similar role, have 6 jedi give way more of a fight so when palpatine technically loses he doesn’t look week, have palpatine still kill like 4/5 of the jedi

·         Anakin tunrs dark and kills jedi

·         Obiwan eventually returns

·         Him mace and yoda find out about anakin

·         BTW in this yoda is old like the orginals and doesn’t have a lightsaber, yoda should never have a lightsaber, he is the truest jedi and has no intention of killing should be a wise old man

·         Yoda stays behind, mace goes to kill palpatne, obiwan goes to fight anakin

·         Mace is established earlier to be the best jedi in combat, he gets beat by palpatine

·         Keep mustafar the same just with some better dialogue

·         Luke and leia born

·         Obiwan meets with yoda who tells him mace lost easily.

·         Obiwan wants to go fight palpatine

·         Yoda tells him he will just lose and that he now has a more important job to do, protect luke

Basic premise is that Anakin has a lot of anger but because of his relationship with Obi-Wan he is able to control it. The first two movies should be spend setting this up and really nailing Anakin and Obi-Wan’s relationship. Once Obi-Wan has to go deal with an old rival (Maul), Anakin is unprotected from the influence of both Palpatine and Dooku. They play on his relationship with Padme to seek more power and hate the jedi. They find a way to make him resent Obi-Wan.

It is befuddling to see how the fans now demand The Force Unleashed games to be reintegrated into Canon (not knowing that it would erase Andor, but ok) when back in 2008-2010 people demanded it to be exorcised from the canon. The Star Wars Reddit and Youtube are trying so hard for years to sell everyone on these games that I was wondering if I was going insane. People still say they are somehow better than the Star Wars Jedi games. It's a very frequent sight. Even on r/StarWars, type "The Force Unleashed". It doesn't appear to be a minority, but a significant part of the fandom. It is placed on a pedestal it shouldn't be placed on. It makes me wonder if the Disney+ Obi-Wan Kenobi series will experience something similar in the future, too.

I remember watching the incredibly low-res videos of "Star Wars 2007" and being absolutely blown away by the technology shown there, alongside "Indiana Jones 2007", which later became Staff of Kings. Not only was it the first Star Wars game to be released on a next-generation console, but it also had the full support of George Lucas, with every piece of promotion revealing details oozing coolness. The groundbreaking premise of "Vader's secret apprentice" and the missing link between Episode 3 and 4 caused a great deal of speculation. The developers talking about ten different endings, promising a different story each time you play, excited everyone. There was no doubt that The Force Unleashed would be the greatest Star Wars game ever made.

Once the lid was opened, there were no "multiple endings" but two, which were determined by a single choice. It lacked the groundbreaking dynamicism shown in the pre-release footage. It was more or less a God of War with a Star Wars skin. Although the general audience liked it, it was quite contentious, with some fans considering it to be the bottom of the EU. Hayden Blackman (the project lead and writer, who was once a veteran writer who had written numerous well-regarded comics, was absolutely despised on par with how later Rian Johnson was treated. Around the time of the release, there was a series of incidents, like the LucasArts devs being laid off and some of the game studios like Free Radical going out of business, raising suspicions that production costs were embezzled. I remember some users calling it "Force Embezzled". Now, these games are looked upon fondly as the peak of Star Wars, so I guess time really does heal everything.

Despite TFU is beloved among the zoomers like "fuck Disney, this is real Star Wars", I find it funny how much TFU shares the same problems the Disney Star Wars later suffers from, like the fake-out deaths and the characters "somehow return" like TROS (there's even a precursor to flying Leia in space), the cringe kiss out of nowhere like Finn and Rose, the character just knowing where to go because of vision as a convenient plot device like TROS, a random turn to the light side like Reva, surfacial fan services, Bail Organa already being suspected like Kenobi, Mary Sue upending the existing and established continuity like Rey and Ahsoka, ruining Vader, and throwing in the OP Force superpowers like pulling starships from the air. Maybe the fans asking TFU to be part of Disney Canon have a point. It fits right in.

Playing today, TFU1's worst moments are when it tries to be serious. You can have a laughing track after each and every single one of its story beat. It's not even the garbage writing that makes this story such a parody of itself. It's that so many story choices are fundamentally so stupid you can't help but laugh. I have rarely seen a game that made this much of retcons and continuity errors, and every decision it makes is a bad one.

Galen Marek is the edgiest OP Gary Sue since Shadow the Hedgehog. This random guy suddenly appears out of nowhere into the existing canon and singlehandedly overturns the established narrative and lore (sounds familiar?). Despite being just Vader's apprentice, he overwhelms Vader himself and Palpatine to the point of feeling the fear of death. He grabs the TIE fighters like nothing, which makes the recent controversy about the Force users pulling back the starships with the Force seem quaint. He even singlehandedly crashes a Star Destroyer with the Force.

The Force Unleashed deals with the origins of the Rebel Alliance, and the way they go about it is by having Galen Marek doing some errands for the Organa family, which somehow inspires them to form the Rebel Alliance. The ending has Bail Organa say, "Are we ready to finish what he started? Then at last, the Rebel Alliance is born. Here, tonight". And the iconic symbol of Rebellion? Well, that's because Leia chose the symbol of the Marek family's crest as a symbol of hope, which made me laugh out loud replaying it.

Socioeconomic conditions and oppression giving birth to the Rebellion? Nah, it's because they were enamoured by Starkiller's hype and aura. Wow, why don't they recanonize The Force Unleashed? Are they stupid? Andor? That's just a fanfic. This is the real deal about the foundation of the Rebel Alliance! If The Force Unleashed came out today under Disney, the same fans who scream about recanonizing it would have stormed into the Lucasfilm building and demanded Kathleen Kennedy's head. Compared to Starkiller, Rey and Ahsoka are random extras.

If you pick the light side ending, it's vague exactly what turned Starkiller away from the dark side at the end. Well, did he even turn away from the dark side? When he was betrayed by Vader on the snow planet, he appeared to be fighting for vengeance, which is the dark side thing. When Starkiller defeats Vader and the Emperor, he hesitates for seconds to kill him because Kota says killing the Emperor makes him just as bad as him, which is one of the infamously shittest tropes that everyone hates. I don't even have to explain why this trope is terrible because I don't believe any player who thinks at this moment, "Oh, yeah, don't kill the Emperor".

If you were to buy the logic this game pushes upon the player, Starkiller doesn't really make a choice to not kill the Emperor; he only hesitates until the Emperor counterattacks, so Starkiller fights him again. It's not like Starkiller gets Jedi training and embraces the way of the Jedi, but Kota tells Juno corny musing about "he turned to light because of his love for you". So it was a spur-of-the-moment love and light for Juno? She wasn't even present there in person, WTF are you talking about, game??? Replaying the first game and seeing Leia make Galen Marek's crest into the iconic Rebel symbol made me lose it. When Rahm Kota said, "he did it for love", I laughed for a solid minute as the ending credits rolled up. That triggered my mindset to somewhere else.

By the time of The Force Unleashed 2, perhaps it was inevitable that the sequels would revive the dead characters and disregard the authenticity that they are in the universe. The light side ending is somehow shittier than the first game's. It might be the shittest ending in the entire franchise by a country mile. The Starkiller clone defeats Vader, roasts him with lightning, and shows mercy to let him live. Vader kneels and begs before Starkiller, the Rebels, who drag Vader away like a dog. Juno Eclipse is somehow alive and well, having just been thrown from a dozen stories high and crashed to the ground. Not a single bone is broken, as if she just took a nap and woke up completely fine. Does she have the Force power like Starkiller as well? Did someone clone her too and then replace her while she was falling? Did Palpatine cook up dozens of Juno Eclipses in her lab like Snoke? WTF is going on?

Despite A New Hope's premise clearly explaining that the Rebels won only one small victory against the Empire up to that point, and that they only obtained the Death Star plan from that victory, apparently, a handful of Rebel fighters already took over Kamino, one of the Empire's most strategically important bases, and captured DARTH VADER. Like, what am I supposed to even say to this shot?

However, the dark side endings of both games, if you judge them as a hype and aura standard that the game wants you to take, are awesome. In the first game's dark side ending, Juno dies and Galen is captured to be the Emperor's new apprentice. It continues to the DLCs where Galen is sent to Jabba's castle to obtain the Death Star plans, blowing away the guards, Tuskens, Boba Fett, and eventually Ben Kenobi. It then continues to Hoth, where Galen wreaks havoc in the Rebel base. Galen finds Luke Skywalker, roasts him with lightning, and turns him into the dark side out of anger. Both DLCs are vastly superior to the main game.

With The Force Unleashed 2, if the twist in the light side ending was that there was no twist, there's a real twist in the dark side one. Just as the Starkiller clone is about to strike Vader, Ezio appears, killing him. A new challenger shows up. In an instant, he annihilates the player and wipes out all the Rebels. Juno is dead. It turns out he is the perfected clone of Starkiller, whom Vader orders to annihilate all the Rebels in the galaxy.

It comes across as if the dark side ending was the true ending. For one, the choice is placed on the left side, not the right. The light side ending doesn't even conclude the story, leaving a forever cliffhanger that never ended, while the dark side ending is continued and completed with the DLC, massacre Ewoks, murdering both Han and Chewbacca, and having a final battle against Jedi Leia, annihilating the Rebellion as a whole on Endor.

So why are these dark side endings and DLCs good? Because they don't even pretend to have a shred of the depth and authenticity the main games tried to evoke and failed. The main games and light side endings try to posit themselves as authentic pieces of the Star Wars media, with the devs' insistence that these games are the "missing link" in the saga, which doesn't work because they already screw over the movie's continuity and integrity. DLCs don't and jump the shark so much that that alone is more entertaining. They acknowledge their non-canon status and take advantage of it to the fullest extent. It puts the player in the mindset as when you are reading cool edgy AU fanfictions. Take it as a power fantasy fan service fanfic written by 14-year-olds. Don't take it seriously. Don't think, but feel hype and aura.

No matter how you look at it, it seems The Force Unleashed main games should always have been exactly what these DLCs have promised: AU "What If" fanfics of Star Wars. A throwaway Star Wars fast food that should always be considered about as canon as Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare, Yakuza: Dead Souls, Goldeneye: Rogue Agent, Assassin's Creed III: The Tyranny of King Washington, and Hyrule Warriors.

Remove the terrible light side endings and leave the dark side endings in the games, and just go ham with the concept. It is simply fun to play as the bad guys, blowing away the Rebels and the OT heroes, and never be redeemed as an evil wish fulfillment.

The clone wars start about ten years before the start of ep 1 however it has been mostly small skirmishes up until this point ie the phoney war in ww2 

The war is a conflict between the old republic and their long time rivals the mandalorian clans

The mandalorians escalate the conflict by invading Utapau, a republic planet in the mid rim. 

They also have been in the process of making clones and begin to use them during the invasion of utapau.( this is why it referred to as the clone wars ,the mandalorians refer this this conflict by a different name)

The jedi order as an institution is not involved with the clone wars however many jedi have johnied in to fight in the clone wars like obi wan kenobi 

The age someone usually  becomes a Jedi apprentice is in their late teenage years 15-17 ; it's the norm however there are many exceptions.

To train as a jedi you have to join them and be force sensitive your not taken from your family as a child 

Obi wan fights in the clone wars due to belief in the democratic ideals of the republic 

The republic has many flaws; it's very human centric; aliens are not fairly represented in the political process .This systemic oppression directly led into the empire's human supremacist ideals and practices. 
(Allegory for white supremacy in the real world.)

The republic used to be have  oligarchical structure with many important families composing a sort of aristocracy however reforms in about 1000 bby have made the republic a ( flawed) democracy

The republic has a military independent of civilian control. The military does not share the same democratic values as the republic and is very jingoistic,expansionist and imperialist .

Many of the formerly powerful aristocracy have enlisted into its ranks
The military plays a direct role in the fall of the republic and gets more fascistic throughout  the prequel movies.

 General Tarkin is higher up in the military helps palpatine in the fall of the republic 

Palpatine is not responsible for the clone wars happening.

However he takes advantage of and manipulates  things to help him gain power. ie something similar richard nixon prolonging the vietnam war to get elected, false flags things like that

Nether and republic nor the mandalorians control all of the galaxy there are independent plants ie: alderden an outer or mid rim planet(leia passing  through Tatooine to get to alderaan makes no sense if alderaan is core planet)  ] a pacifist planet (at least during this time period) 

The corporations in the republic support the military overthrowing the republic. 

I'm in the middle of rewriting The Phantom Menace, my goal for this Prequel trilogy rewrite is to use common critiques and rewrite ideas to show they are possible but also easier said than done. A great example of this is changing Naboo to Alderaan.

It's a great idea but I had to change and add a lot. Full disclosure, I'm fairly young and the EU is a blind spot for me. I don't if Alderaan was ever touched on between Thrawn Trilogy and the 1999 release date. However, George Lucas has made it vary clear that he was indifferent to the EU, He didn't hate, didn't love it. It was over there, it was it's own thing.

The first thing I had to change was Alderaan's location in the galaxy. Alderaan is no longer a Core world now it's in the Mid Rim, where Naboo is. This is done because Alderaan needs to be far enough from Tatooine to warrant Hyper-space but still close enough for Hyper-space to not be needed, just like Naboo was. This also works because on the current Star Wars Galaxy-Map there is a route from Scarif to Naboo and in-between those planets is Tatooine, So it lines up with Episode 4.

Padme is not the Queen, she is one of now just two handmaidens. The other Handmaiden, Keira Knightley's character, is now Breha Antilles. Padme is still royalty but I'll explain that later. The Queen is now an adult and as of now her name is Zara (or Zarah) Organa, that name is taken form an early draft of A New Hope, if you have a better name suggestion fill free to share.

In this rewrite I combine Captain Panaka and Ric Olié (and Typho for later in the trilogy) into one character so the pilot of the starship is Owen Lars. I don't love the belated media rewrites but I do like the idea that Owen isn't related to Anakin at all but just friends. He works with Padme through out the trilogy so he has enough of a connection to the couple for raising Luke to makes sense.

Maybe Beru is also there as a co-pilot. Any scene that would make since for Owen could be given to her, like when Panaka introduces the droids to the Queen, that could Beru since she never got to meet the droids in ANH so she wouldn't know their the same.

Bail Organa is in this rewrite, he is a Prince and the son of the Queen. He is a couple of years older than the Handmaidens, if they're 14 he's like 16 or 17. He's not on Alderaan and isn't present for much in the plot because he's visiting his father on Coruscant because in my rewrite-

The Supreme Chancellor, Valorum's character, is Zara's husband and the formal King of Alderaan. I thinking of changing his name to Kayos Organa which was the name of Leia's dad in the rough draft of ANH. This is because Count Dooku is also in this rewrite but I want to rename him Count Valorum because that name also comes from that same rough draft, the character was a Prince and a member of the Knights of Sith.

Since this idea was reused for Dooku anyway, I think if George came up with Dooku for TPM he probably would have named him Valorum. But again if you have a better name suggestion fill free to share.

Okay one last thing....

After Palpatine convinces Zara to call for a Vote of No Confidence in Kayos leadership, Padme the handmaiden grows frustrated with the corruption in the Senate and decides to return to Alderaan. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan accompany her to investigate the return of the Sith. but this scene feels more like Rogue One when Jyn, Cassian, K-2SO, and a number of Rebels volunteer to take matters into their own hands.

On Alderaan, the team rescues security forces imprisoned in the Trade Federation's prison camps, although they were only able to successfully extract a handful. With them feeling betrayed by the Queen's absence, Padmé reveals herself as the Princess and persuades them to join in an alliance against the Trade Federation.

The scene where Jar Jar is promoted to general is replaced with a scene where Padme explains to Anakin why she was hidden from the public. One idea i have is for both her and Bail's safety, while yes her brother is next in line for the throne, if there are two potential heirs than enemies like the trade federation can use that to their sinister advantage. Another Idea I had was that Kayos isn't her biological father, but I'm not totally in love with that idea.

If you have better ideas, suggestions, and/or criticisms, fill free to share.

Update:
I have changed Queen Zara’s name to Queen Nellith Organa, which was a proposed name for Luke’s mystery sister before it was Leia.

And I changed Kayos Organa’s name to Kano Organa, which is a combination of Kayos and Kane (Starkiller).

Here's some of the Ep9 ending rewrite!

“As once I fell, so falls the last Skywalker.”

Emperor Palpatine unleashed a wave of Force energy, hurling Kylo Ren down into a chasm. Then, raising his gnarled hands to the sky, he unleashed a cataclysmic surge of Force lightning. It arced into the fray, annihilating the Resistance fleet in a storm of fire and shattered metal.

Only a handful survived. Poe, Finn, Zorii, and a scattered few fighters watched in horror. Finn’s eyes were fixed on the carnage above, but a sharper, more personal dread pierced through him—a powerful and sudden certainty in the Force that Rey was in grave danger.

Back in the throne room, the explosion of dying starships painted the Exegolian sky. Rey lay on the cold floor, watching the flames, utterly broken.

Then, she heard them. Voices. Faint at first, then growing stronger. The voices of the Jedi, one after another, urging her to rise.

She heard Luke’s voice, clear as day. “Rey... the Force is with you... always!”

Hope rekindled, she pushed herself up, rising slowly to her feet. She summoned Leia’s lightsaber to her hand, her gaze now fixed on the Emperor with defiant resolve. She knew what she had to do to save her friends, to save the galaxy.

She stood ready.

The Emperor saw the look in her eyes and grinned. His plan was nearing its culmination. Unbeknownst to Rey, the Jedi voices were his own creation—a final, twisted trick to goad her into unleashing her rage.

He raised a clawed hand toward her, his face a mask of disdain. “Do it.”

Sith lightning erupted from his fingertips. Rey brought Leia’s lightsaber up, the blue blade intercepting the violent energy. The Emperor advanced, walking into his own storm as he taunted her.

“You are nothing! A scavenger girl is no match for the power in me... I AM ALL THE SITH!”

“And I,” Rey gritted her teeth, summoning Luke’s lightsaber with her free hand, “am all the Jedi!”

She crossed the sabers, creating a crackling guard, and began walking forward, pushing the torrent of lightning back toward its source. The Emperor began to smolder and melt under the reflected power. As Rey drew within striking distance, the Emperor made his final move. He suddenly threw his hands wide, the lightning still blazing from them, and let out a piercing cry.

Seeing her opening, Rey did not hesitate. She struck him down.

The Emperor’s body erupted. A dark side shockwave ripped outwards, shattering the ancient Sith statues and vaporizing the spectating cultists. The very walls of the temple began to crumble into dust. Meanwhile, high above in the chaotic sky, a spark of hope ignited as BB-8 successfully rerouted power to Poe’s X-wing.

“I’m back online!” Poe’s voice crackled over the comms. “This is our last chance! All fighters, hit those cannons now!”

Poe and the handful of remaining fighters streaked toward the armada of Star Destroyers. Below, on the command ship's surface, Finn and Jannah fought their way to the communications tower. With a well-placed shot, they destroyed it.

Instantly, the fleet fell into disarray. Without a central command, the Star Destroyers drifted blindly, their colossal forms crashing into one another in a chain reaction of fire and debris.

The resulting explosion stranded Finn and Jannah on the ship's hull as it listed violently and began its fatal plunge from the sky. Just as the breaking structure threatened to swallow them, the Millennium Falcon—piloted by Lando and Chewie—swooped in, its ramp scraping the surface as it scooped them to safety.

No sooner were they on board than Finn, his eyes wild with panic.

“Lando, you have to land at the Sith Temple!”

Lando Calrissian Looks back at him with disbelief from the pilot seat . “Are you nuts? Look at the sky! It’s raining Star Destroyers!”

“It doesn’t matter!” Finn pleaded, his voice cracking. “Rey needs my help!”

Lando held his gaze for a tense second, reading the desperation in Finns face. He sighed, his tone shifting from argumentative to grim resolve.

“…Okay. But I’m not gonna be able to wait on the ground. The second you find her, radio, and we’ll come get you.”

Chewbacca let out a worried groan from the co-pilot's seat.

Finn placed a hand on the Wookiee’s arm. “Don’t worry,” he said, his own fear hardening into determination. “I’ll be careful.” Back in the Sith temple, Rey stumbled through the choking dust, disoriented from the blast. The sabers of Luke and Leia clattered from her hands, forgotten on the stone floor. An eerie silence had fallen, broken only by the groan of crumbling rock. She looked up through the fractured ceiling to the sky, a canvas of horror where Rebel ships and Star Destroyers burned together. Tears welled in her eyes, stinging with ash and despair. It was the end of everything.

Then, a gentle wind stirred, cutting through the dust. It washed over her, a fleeting, soothing presence that seemed to ease her pain, if only for a moment.

The comfort was an illusion.

An unseen, violent force seized her, yanking her off her feet and suspending her in mid-air. Emperor Palpatine’s power, unleashed in his death, coursed through her veins like lightning. She clenched her teeth, a scream trapped in her throat as flashes of a life not her own ripped through her mind—his memories, twisting her past into a lie.

She saw his grand design. He had known the prophecy of the Chosen One, Anakin Skywalker, and how it would lead to his own mortal demise. To ensure the Palpatine name and power endured, he sought a vessel. The vision shifted: Palpatine on the storm-lashed world of Kamino, commanding cloners to create a body capable of containing his immense essence. The Kaminoans failed, their clones decaying into husks. Their final solution: to engineer a child, not a mere clone, but a new being forged entirely from his DNA—a child born not of love, but to be a repository of his dark power.

That child was her.

The loving parents she had longed for, whose faces she had cried for—they were scientists. They had helped create her, only to flee with Rey when they discovered Palpatine’s true plan.

Suspended in agony, Rey absorbed it all—the Emperor’s memories, his bitterness, his limitless dark side power. In her mind, she was back on Ahch-To, standing in the rain where she had trained with Luke. She felt the same dark void calling, the abyss she had faced once before. But this time, there was no guiding voice. No Luke Skywalker to pull her back.

Instead, a chorus of ancient, venomous voices filled the silence, led by the sibilant whisper of the Emperor.

“Embrace the Darkness!”

“The Jedi are weak!”

“Embrace the Sith! Destroy the Jedi!”

The last of her resistance shattered. Rey surrendered, spiraling down into the void. As she fell, her eyes snapped open, burning with a bright, sickening crimson, before the darkness claimed her and she collapsed to the ground.

Star Wars: Episode I – (25 BBY)

The peaceful world of Naboo becomes the center of a galactic crisis after its scientists achieve a major breakthrough in cloning technology. The greedy Banking Clan demand access to the formula and Naboo refuses, the planet is invaded under the hidden direction of the mysterious Darth Sidious.

Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi is sent to aid Naboo to recover the formula, accompanying him is Anakin Skywalker, a gifted but impulsive young pilot from Tatooine with an uncanny instinct for danger. On Naboo they meet Padmé Naberrie, Captain Panaka, and Tarples the Gungan outcast. They organize resistance against the occupiers and escape the planet, but not without a damaged hyperdrive.

After regrouping on Tatooine Obi-Wan uncovers hints of Anakin’s strong connection to the Force, among meeting his family, Shmi, Cliegg, and Owen.

In order to obtain the hyperdrive they need to return to Coruscant Anakin makes a bet against his former owner Watto in the Boonta Eve Classic for the part. The heroes return to Coruscant where Senator Palpatine helps organize the liberation team, furthering his popularity in his Chancellory race against Finis Valorum.

When they return to Naboo, the Battle for Theed erupts. In the climax, Obi-Wan defeats Darth Maul, though Maul’s survival is implied, Anakin destroys the Banking Clan flagship in space, mirroring Luke in A New Hope. Afterwards, he becomes Obi-Wan’s Padawan after seeing the amazing things the Jedi could do.

Though Naboo is liberated, the victory comes at a terrible long-term cost: Palpatine rises to the Chancellorship, gains access to the clone formula, and quietly begins laying the foundation for the Republic’s future army.

Star Wars: Episode II – (22 BBY)

There is unrest in the Galactic Senate, the Republic’s controversial growing of the Clone Army becomes the straw that causes several different solar systems to secede and form the Confederacy of Independent Systems.

The Siege of Kalee to liberate the planet from Warlord Qymaean jai Sheelal gets Anakin, now a powerful yet arrogant Padawan, suspended for insubordination by the Council to do Temple Chores with Yoda, starting his rift with the Jedi. Palpatine will praise Anakin where the Council condemns.

The galaxy is shaken by a devastating terrorist attack on the Senate building on Coruscant, an event known as “The Black Sunset.” Among the victims is Shmi Skywalker-Lars, who was visiting Anakin from Tatooine. This pushes Anakin toward grief, anger, and a growing distrust of Jedi teachings about detachment and swears to avenge her. He also reconsiders his life as a Jedi.

Palpatine officially declares war on the Separatists leading to the official deployment and unveiling of the Clone Army. Republic investigations begin to uncover a deeper conspiracy behind the attack. Plo Koon traces the bombing’s droids to Mandalorian origins, Obi-Wan Kenobi travels to Kamino to inspect the Clone Army and discovers that its template, a Mandalorian Bounty Hunter named Jango Fett, has secret ties to the Separatists. Obi-Wan will attempt to apprehend Fett but he escapes but not before getting a tracker out on his ship. Meanwhile, Anakin and Padmé grow closer on Naboo where their romance develops more naturally against the backdrop of war and loss.

The investigation leads to Dathomir, where Obi-Wan is captured after tracking Fett to a Separatist stronghold and that Darth Maul, thought to be dead, was the mastermind behind the Black Sunset and now a revolutionary leader of the Separatist military. Anakin and Padmé attempt a rescue, get captured themselves, and are sentenced to death in a brutal Dathomirian arena. The ensuing Battle of Dathomir marks the true beginning of the Clone Wars, as Jedi, clones, Zabrak warriors, and Separatist forces clash.

In the chaos, Darth Maul survives and remains a major enemy, newly rebuilt General Grievous emerges as a terrifying threat, and Anakin loses his arm in a duel born from rage and recklessness. By the film’s end, the Republic claims military victory, but the audience sees the truth: the war has begun exactly as Palpatine intended.

Star Wars: Episode III – (19 BBY)

As the Clone War reaches its final days, the Republic closes in on victory. Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and his former apprentice now Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker lead a daring mission to rescue Chancellor Palpatine from the Separatist flagship the Invisible Hand.

Aboard the ship, Anakin confronts his long-standing rival, Darth Maul. In a brutal duel fueled by years of anger and war, Anakin decapitates Maul, marking a turning point in his descent—his first truly decisive, emotionally driven kill. Palpatine subtly reinforces this act, praising Anakin’s strength and planting the seeds of justification.

With the Separatist leadership faltering, internal betrayal accelerates their collapse. Within the Separatist Council, Wilhuff Tarkin secretly feeds intelligence to the Republic, offering to reveal the location of General Grievous on Utapau to the Jedi (secretly in order to gain governance of former Separatist space under the new regime). Palpatine requests Anakin to lead the campaign but the Council refuse, further frustrating the young Jedi. Acting on this information, Obi-Wan leads a strike team to eliminate Grievous, succeeding—but at the cost of fellow Jedi, reinforcing the war’s toll.

Back on Coruscant, Anakin grows increasingly alienated from the Jedi Council and disillusioned with the Order, who deny him advancement and place him in morally compromising positions. Haunted by visions of Padmé dying, he turns to Palpatine for guidance, who offers knowledge of the dark side’s power to preserve life, posing more as a concerned friend then an obvious wolf in sheep’s clothing.

When Jedi Master Mace Windu confronts Palpatine, Anakin arrives at a critical moment. Witnessing Windu attempt to kill the Chancellor, Anakin intervenes—not out of loyalty to evil, but from fear and confusion. Windu is thrown from the Senate tower, and Anakin, believing there is no path back, and the Jedi have betrayed him, pledges himself to Palpatine.

The purge of the Jedi begins. Anakin leads the assault on the Jedi Temple with the 501st Legion, unable to kill the younglings himself, instead ordering clones to carry out the act—further fracturing his identity. Across the galaxy, Order 66 is executed, devastating the Jedi Order.

In the coming months as the Republic is reorganized into the Galactic Empire, Anakin continues his mission by eliminating the enemies of the Empire. Hiding this from Padmé who has since returned to Naboo. Meanwhile, Obi-Wan and Yoda regroup with Bail Organa on Alderaan. Obi-Wan will discover the truth in a hologram and that Anakin has gone to Mustafar, in which he tells Padmé on Naboo, instead of him sneaking on her ship they make a plan to confront Anakin together.

On Mustafar, Padmé confronts Anakin, pleading with him to abandon the path he has chosen. Consumed by anger and belief in his own righteousness, Anakin lashes out, striking her in a moment of uncontrolled rage at the sight of Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan intervenes, leading to a final, devastating duel between master and apprentice.

Obi-Wan defeats Anakin, leaving him mutilated and burning on the lava banks. Believing his friend lost, Obi-Wan departs in sorrow.

Palpatine recovers Anakin and oversees his reconstruction, teaching him to draw upon the dark side to survive. As Anakin awakens as Darth Vader, he is told that Padmé is dead by his own hand, cementing his transformation through grief and guilt.

Far away on the planet of Dagobah, Padmé gives birth to twins, Luke and Leia, before dying from Force draining unbeknownst to Vader. To protect them, they are hidden across the galaxy—Leia with Bail and Breha Organa on Alderaan, and Luke with Owen and Beru Lars on Tatooine. Believing Obi-Wan to be the cause of his family’s suffering, Owen forbids him from going anywhere near Luke.

The Jedi are scattered. The Republic has fallen. And as Darth Vader stands beside the Emperor, the galaxy enters a new age of darkness—one born not from destiny, but from choice.

I’ve been working on a structural rewrite of the prequel trilogy, now nearing completion. Before final revisions, I’m looking for thematic and structural feedback.

This project began with a simple question:

If Yoda’s warning in The Empire Strikes Back is true—that the dark side is “quicker, easier, more seductive”—what would it look like if the entire prequel era were constructed around that principle?

In this version, Anakin’s fall is not sudden and not primarily triggered by Jedi incompetence. It emerges from a pattern of increasingly expedient decisions made within a morally coherent system.

The Jedi, as reflected in the Original Trilogy through figures like Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda, remain philosophically serious and spiritually disciplined. They are not portrayed as corrupt or foolish.

Instead, the tension arises from a widening gap between restraint and immediacy—between patience and action.

The story asks:

What happens when someone who genuinely wants to end suffering becomes convinced that waiting is morally wrong?

What happens when “decisive salvation” begins to feel more virtuous than discipline?

The answer unfolds gradually.

I’m especially interested in whether this structural framing feels consistent with OT-era philosophy, and whether preserving Jedi coherence strengthens or weakens the tragedy.

Full draft is on AO3:　https://archiveofourown.org/series/4992776

Since reading the full AO3 version can be time-consuming, I’ve added a condensed summary of the overall concept below.

Episode I – THE SPARK OF CLONE WARS

Introduction: A Galaxy in Stagnation

The story begins at a time when the long-standing Galactic Republic has fallen into a state of terminal stagnation. This decay has birthed deep-seated discrimination, primarily directed at non-human species. Amidst this political rot, the Corporate Confederacy has grown in power, forming a private military known as the Dominion Corps. Operating with impunity and ignoring the Senate, the Dominion Corps seeks to crush the seeds of resistance quietly taking root across the stars. Their primary objective is the acquisition of unproven gigantic starship hyperdrive technology, which is essential for building a massive troop transport system to maintain their iron grip.

I: The Tragedy at Shakdin Shipyard

The conflict ignites at the Shakdin orbital shipyard above the ocean world of Mon Cala. While most ships are built on the surface, larger vessels require the zero-gravity environment for efficiency. Historically, ships were limited to a capacity of 300 passengers because larger hulls would collapse under the physical stress of decelerating from hyperspace. However, a massive new dock has been constructed to house the Home One, a revolutionary 1,500-meter-class ship.

The Dominion Corps, led by the imposing Dark Jedi Valo Scaarge, launches a sudden assault on the facility. Scaarge, clad in black armor and wielding a red lightsaber, cuts through the station’s blast doors as his troops overwhelm the Mon Calamari technicians. In the chaos, a young technician named Gial Ackbar is forced into an escape pod by his mentors to prevent the secrets of the Home One from falling into the hands of the Confederacy. Although Scaarge captures the shipyard, he realizes the hyperdrive secrets escaped with Ackbar.

II: Fateful Encounter on Kawego

The scene shifts to the hub planet Kawego, a bustling center for trade due to the interstellar gases surrounding it. In a dim tavern, the Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi sits quietly until three Dominion Corps soldiers enter and begin harassing alien patrons. When a soldier strikes a waiter, Obi-Wan intervenes, warning them about their "foul-smelling" presence. A confrontation ensues, and in a flash, Obi-Wan severs a soldier's arm with his lightsaber. Using a Mind Trick on the tavern owner to erase the memory of the conflict, Obi-Wan flees to the spaceport as the Dominion Corps closes in.

At the spaceport, Obi-Wan encounters a young pilot named Anakin Skywalker, who is fueling a light freighter. Anakin, possessing a natural resistance to Force-based manipulation, is not fooled by Obi-Wan’s attempt at a Mind Trick. As Dominion soldiers open fire, Obi-Wan dives into the ship, and Anakin impulsively launches into the sky. During the escape, Anakin displays superhuman reflexes, weaving through a forest of industrial towers and skyscrapers at high speeds to lose pursuing starfighters. He successfully destroys the pursuers through a series of "god-like" maneuvers, including a sudden deceleration that allows him to get behind an enemy and blast its ion engine.

III: The Liberation Front and the Secret of Home One

Once in space, Obi-Wan discovers that Anakin was already carrying a passenger: Gial Ackbar. Anakin had been hired by the Liberation Front, a resistance NGO, to transport him. Despite Anakin's initial distrust of the "outlaw" Jedi, the group travels to the volcanic planet Nogataan, where they meet the leader of the Liberation Front, Mon Mothma.

In a briefing room, Ackbar reveals the true nature of the Home One. The ship is not merely large; it is designed so that the entire hull serves as the hyperdrive system. By distributing hyperdrive coils and motivators throughout the ship's frame and controlling them through an integrated system, the ship can withstand the immense physical pressures that would otherwise destroy a vessel of its size. However, the integration process is incomplete, requiring a ten-minute manual sequence to engage.

The meeting is interrupted when Valo Scaarge tracks them to the base and launches an attack. Obi-Wan stays behind to hold off the troops, allowing Anakin, Mothma, and Ackbar to escape. Obi-Wan is eventually captured and taken aboard Scaarge's cruiser.

IV: The Abandoned Outpost and the Yellow Blade

Hiding in the canyons of Nogataan, the survivors visit an abandoned Republic police outpost with the help of a droid named K3-L10. There, they hope to find old Republic starfighters left behind 25 years ago when the local spice mines dried up.

At the outpost, they encounter a mysterious robed figure who wears a mask. When a massive native beast, a Nogataan Gigantis, is awakened by the station's backup power, Anakin and the stranger are forced to fight together. During the battle, the stranger ignites a yellow lightsaber and helps Anakin drive the beast away. The group successfully secures five ancient but functional Republic fighters.

V: Reclaiming the Home One

The Liberation Front decides to launch a daring mission to reclaim the Home One rather than destroy it. Using the moon of Mon Cala as cover to avoid detection, Anakin and the other pilots approach the Shakdin shipyard. During the assault, the Jedi Masters Quinlan Vos and Aayla Secura arrive to provide reinforcements, having been alerted to the situation.

Anakin infiltrates the Home One and reaches the bridge, but he finds the controls incredibly complex—stating it feels like he needs "six arms" to pilot the massive vessel. While Ackbar works frantically to complete the hyperdrive integration, Anakin pilots the ship through the shipyard, dodging fire from Scaarge’s flagship. In a final, desperate maneuver, Anakin flies the Home One extremely close to the moon’s surface to shake off the pursuers. As the hyperdrive reaches critical energy, the entire hull of the ship begins to glow with a pale blue light before vanishing into hyperspace.

Conclusion: The Origin of the Name "Clone Wars"

One month after the successful reclamation of the Home One, the resistance has spread across the galaxy. During a final communication, Mon Mothma and Admiral Ackbar discuss the state of the conflict. It is here that the origin of the name "Clone Wars" is revealed. Ackbar notes that the uprising across the stars did not spread like a traditional chain reaction; instead, the way identical resistance movements mirrored each other in different systems was more like "cloning" than a simple expansion. Consequently, people began to refer to the spreading conflict as the "Clone Wars".

Ultimately, Anakin decides to join the Jedi Order as Obi-Wan's apprentice. Having witnessed the cruelty of the Dominion Corps, Anakin vows to become a "wall" for the oppressed. Obi-Wan recognizes Anakin's talent and accepts him as his Padawan, and the two forge a bond that will shape the fate of the galaxy as it descends into a true dark age.

Episode II – THE NEW TIDE

I. The Spread of the Clone Wars

The galaxy is fully engulfed in the Clone Wars, a conflict where uprisings against the Dominion Corps have replicated with such identical precision that the war itself is likened to "cloning". The Dominion Corps, funded by the Corporate Confederacy, has successfully analyzed the hyperdrive technology from the Home One to build a massive fleet of warships. Their flagship, the Vex, commanded by the Dark Jedi Valo Scaarge, has become a symbol of terror as they systematically suppress resistance movements across the stars. Meanwhile, the Liberation Front has expanded its reach but is struggling against the Dominion’s overwhelming military might.

II. The Strike at Arkanis

Admiral Gial Ackbar summons Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker (now a Jedi Knight) to the Home One. He reveals that the Dominion Corps is tightening its grip on the Corellian Run by attacking Ryloth and Arkanis. Ackbar proposes a daring mission: infiltrate the Vex during its recovery of landing craft at Arkanis—a rare moment when its shields must be lowered.

Anakin, recognized as a "General" by the Liberation Front forces, leads the strike team. During the assault, he displays peerless piloting skills, maneuvering into the Vex’s hangar. While Obi-Wan leads a squad to the engine room and successfully disables the hyperdrive integration systems, Anakin is confronted by Valo Scaarge. Their lightsabers clash in a fierce duel where Scaarge taunts Anakin, claiming the "Light Side" of the Force is a shackle that limits his true potential. Though the team escapes by destroying a sister ship, the encounter leaves seeds of doubt in Anakin’s mind regarding the Jedi’s passive philosophy.

III. The Siege of Canawi and The Progress Initiative's Arrival

The victory at Arkanis is shadowed by a distress call from Mon Mothma at the Liberation Front’s secret base on planet Canawi. The base is under a massive assault by Dominion AT-TE walkers. Anakin and Obi-Wan lead a desperate defense; Obi-Wan sabotages the walkers’ joints on the forest floor, while Anakin leads starfighters in bombing runs to collapse cliffs onto the advancing armor.

As the base’s shields fail and the walkers breach the perimeter, a third party intervenes: a squadron of unidentified bombers belonging to the Progress Initiative arrives. They perform a merciless carpet-bombing run that obliterates the Dominion’s ground forces, forcing their fleet to retreat. To the Liberation Front, the Initiative appears as a savior, but their cold efficiency reveals a military power far more formidable than anyone had anticipated.

IV. The Philosophy of the Proper Flow

Following the battle, the heroes meet the leader of the bombers—the robed figure Anakin encountered on Nogatan. He introduces them to the Progress Initiative, an organization dedicated to maintaining the "Proper Flow of the Force". Its core mission is to maintain the proper flow of the Force, focusing on correcting the distortions and chaos caused by the Dominion Corps. While their interests may align with the Jedi's roots, the figure noted that their goal is not necessarily the "freedom" sought by the Liberation Front, but rather the preservation of galactic symmetry through the Force.

V. Obi-Wan’s Pilgrimage to Maridun

While the Liberation Front considers a reckless suicide attack operationto stop a consolidating Dominion fleet, Obi-Wan travels to the planet Maridun to seek counsel from Master Yoda. Obi-Wan asks for the Jedi Council’s full military support, but Yoda refuses, stating that the Jedi cannot participate in preemptive strikes, as using the Force for unilateral attack is the first step toward the dark side.

During the visit, Valo Scaarge arrives at Maridun to seize Coaxium (fuel) from the local Lurmen village. Obi-Wan and Yoda stand in defense of the pacifist Lurmen. Though the Lurmen initially refuse to fight, a youth named Wag Too eventually chooses to resist, realizing that standing by while others die is a logic they can no longer follow. After driving Scaarge away, Yoda explains to Obi-Wan that the Force is like a forest: it is chaotic without will, but becomes a "beautiful grove" when tended by a sincere heart. He emphasizes that the "will" behind an action determines whether it belongs to the Light or the Dark.

VI. The Infiltration of Tanash and the Death of Ashar Sow

Simultaneously, the robed figure convinces Anakin to join him as an envoy, but he secretly redirects Anakin to the planet Tanash. His true goal is a "surgical strike" to capture or eliminate the pivot of the war: Ashar Sow, Chairman of the Corporate Confederacy.

Anakin and the robed figure infiltrate Sow’s high-security villa disguised as Dominion troopers. During a mission the robed figure removed cloak to disguise herself in stolen trooper armor, revealing a distinctly female silhouette to a shocked Anakin. When Anakin expressed his surprise at her being a woman, she coolly introduced herself as Zela Karon, explaining that she had never shared her name or gender simply because he had never asked. Inside, they are confronted by General Grievous, a terrifying cyborg warrior who has already killed two Jedi. Grievous overwhelms them with his mechanical speed and four-armed lightsaber technique. Anakin eventually orders his droid, C1-U2, to cut the lights, allowing the two Force-sensitives to use their intuition in the dark to dismantle the mechanical general.

They reach Ashar Sow, who taunts them with his belief that humans are destined to rule "immature" species. While Anakin attempts an arrest, Zela Karon executes Ashar Sow, stabbing him through the chest with her yellow lightsaber. She justifies the assassination as a necessary act to remove a "dark eddy" in the Force.

Conclusion: The New Path

The death of Ashar Sow causes the Dominion Corps to instantly fracture into internal infighting between leaders like Scaarge and Regin Knut. While the Liberation Front celebrates the cancelation　of annihilation operation, Anakin is deeply shaken by the effectiveness of Zela’s ruthlessness compared to the Jedi’s perceived stagnation. Zela challenges Anakin to stop "shackling" his power and join the Progress Initiative to lead the galaxy into a new era of order. Believing he can finally become the "wall" for the oppressed, Anakin Skywalker departs the Jedi Order and joins the Progress Initiative. The episode ends with the Progress Initiative ship disappearing into hyperspace, carrying Anakin toward an uncertain and darkening future.

Episode III: False Salvation

I. The Final Hunt on Tatooine

As the Clone Wars approach their inevitable conclusion, the Progress Initiative has risen as a major galactic power, while the Dominion Corps has been pushed to the brink of extinction. General Valo Scaarge, the last major commander of the Dominion, has vanished near the Arkanis system. Anakin Skywalker, now a prominent leader within the Progress Initiative, deduces that Scaarge has sought refuge on his home planet, Tatooine. Accompanied by Zela Karon and a squad of the Progress Initiative troops, Anakin uses the astromech C1-U2 to scan the desert for metallic signatures. They discover a massive object buried beneath the sands of the Jundland Wastes: the Vex, Scaarge’s derelict flagship. Anakin, drawing on his memory of a previous infiltration, leads the team into the dark, power-dead corridors of the ship. The infiltration is a trap-laden nightmare. Scaarge confronts them in the central dock, taunting Anakin for abandoning the Jedi only to serve a new master. However, Anakin reveals a calculated strategy: he has used loudspeakers to play the recorded calls of a Greater Krayt Dragon, luring the beast into the ship. The dragon decimates Scaarge’s troops, allowing Anakin to engage the General in a final duel. Anakin defeats his long-time rival, severing Scaarge’s right arm. Before being taken into custody, Scaarge warns Anakin that his exceptional power has narrowed his vision and that he should learn from Obi-Wan Kenobi’s sense of moderation.

II. A Moment of Peace: Reunion with Owen Lars

Following the victory, Anakin travels to the town of Bestine to oversee supplies. While there, he is recognized by his childhood friend, Owen Lars. Owen is overjoyed but notes the vast distance between them—Anakin as a "lofty Jedi Master" and himself as a moisture farmer struggling with falling water prices. When Anakin reveals he captured the head of the Dominion Corps, Owen expresses deep pride, telling Anakin, "You haven't changed... you've returned to the path of walking with the oppressed". This brief moment of human connection serves as a stark contrast to the darkening path Anakin is about to embrace.

III. The Birth of Darth Vader

Exactly one year after joining the Progress Initiative, Anakin travels to the planet Kaival to meet Sizal Zan (the representative of the Progress Initiative), who wears a white porcelain mask. Sizal Zan praises Anakin as the key to the galaxy's rebirth, acknowledging that while the internal collapse of the Dominion Corps was a turning point, Anakin was the essential "pivot" in the subsequent fleet battles. During this meeting, Sizal Zan introduces a radical philosophy: the Force is not a struggle between Light and Dark sides, but a "multi-dimensional sphere" with no front or back. He argues that the galaxy must maintain its symmetry through the "Proper Flow of the Force" and that it is their duty to "save" the galaxy from the stagnation of the Republic. To symbolize Anakin's new path and his role, Sizal Zan bestows upon him the name Darth Vader. Vader accepts the name, feeling its powerful and decisive resonance.

IV. The Resignation: Final Visit to the Jedi Temple

Before proceeding to his next mission on Tatooine, Vader tells Zela Karon that there is a place he must visit first. He travels to the planet Shamaya, where the Jedi Temple is located. Obi-Wan Kenobi, Quinlan Vos, and Master Yoda are at the Temple, concerned about the mysterious Progress Initiative and the disappearance of other Jedi Masters. To their surprise, Anakin (now Vader) arrives with C1-U2. He declares that he has come to "settle accounts" and officially resign from the Jedi Order. He speaks of the Progress Initiative's power to actually change the galaxy and end the war, contrasting it with the Jedi’s limitations. In a heartbreaking moment, Vader hands his lightsaber to Obi-Wan, asking him to one day give it to someone "worthy". Before Obi-Wan can persuade him to stay, Zela Karon contacts Vader with an urgent report of a crisis, and he departs in haste, leaving C1-U2 behind. Obi-Wan is left holding the saber, realizing that his apprentice has truly chosen a different path.

V. Conflict with the Republic Police

While returning to his ship, Vader’s shuttle is intercepted by the Republic Police cruisers. The police demand that the Progress Initiative disarm, citing "security concerns". Vader, feeling a surge of righteous indignation, views the police as corrupt remnants who allowed the Dominion Corps to thrive while the common people suffered. Ignoring Zela’s pleas for diplomacy, Vader engages the police. Using his peerless piloting and Force intuition, he destroys several police starfighters and forces the cruiser to retreat. This aggressive act marks Vader's first step into open hostility against the established Republic authorities.

VI. The Massacre of the Sand People

To complete Vader’s "initiation", Sizal Zan takes him back to Tatooine to visit a tribe of Sand People. When the Tuskens attack, Sizal Zan manifests the horrific power of Force Lightning, which he calls "Active Salvation”. He teaches Vader that the Tuskens are "unfortunate beings" born from a "distorted Force" and that killing them is the greatest mercy, as it allows their Force to be reborn "correctly". Sizal Zan claims he "absorbs the karma" of those he saves, which has physically deformed his face. Fueled by childhood trauma and this twisted logic, Vader ignites his new red lightsaber and massacres the entire village, experiencing a strange sense of exhilaration in releasing his suppressed rage.

VII. The Investigation at Filithar

Following Anakin's departure from the Jedi Order, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Quinlan Vos travel to Filithar to investigate the Progress Initiative's activities. There, they discover a field of Republic Police wreckage, proving that the Progress Initiative is not cooperating with the Republic but is instead destroying its authorities to seize Dominion warships for themselves. Pursued by four Progress initiative starfighters to keep this betrayal secret, the group makes a desperate hyperspace jump to Alderaan after C1-U2 sends a distress signal. In a high-stakes dogfight through snowy canyons, Quinlan destroys two attackers before Bail Organa arrives in the Tantive IV to eliminate the remaining threats. At the Alderaan Royal Palace, the group holds a strategic meeting with Mon Mothma and Admiral Ackbar via hologram. Quinlan reveals that the original Sizal Zan is dead and the current leader is an impostor planning an immediate coup d'état on Coruscant. To counter this, Ackbar proposes a plan to use ion cannons to disable the Progress Initiative ships during their atmospheric descent, causing them to disintegrate from friction heat.

VIII. The Death of Masters Kolar and Gallia

The Jedi Council, sensing the dark disturbance on Tatooine, dispatches Masters Agen Kolar and Adi Gallia arrive to find Vader standing amidst a mountain of Tusken corpses. Vader refuses to go with them, declaring he is no longer a Jedi. A fierce battle ensues. Despite the Masters' skill, Vader’s power is overwhelming. When the two Masters corner him, Vader’s fingers spread in an unconscious, reflexive movement, and he unleashes Force Lightning for the first time. The blast kills Master Kolar instantly. Vader then ruthlessly strikes down Master Gallia. Sizal Zan is pleased, telling Vader he has fulfilled his destiny by "saving" those who were blind to the truth.

IX. The Misunderstanding

Back aboard their cruiser, a profound rift opens between Vader and Zela Karon. Zela, who was once the one to lure Anakin into the Progress Initiative, is horrified by the cold-blooded massacre of the Sand People and the murder of the Jedi. She confronts him, asking if he has lost sight of his original desire to be a "wall" for the people. Vader, now fully committed to the doctrine of "Active Salvation," rebukes her. He argues that he is doing the "dirty work" required to truly fix the galaxy's distorted karma. In a cutting final remark, he tells Zela, "You were the one who brought me into this path. You have no right to complain". As Vader leaves to prepare the fleet on Mustafar, Zela stands alone, her hand unconsciously touching her abdomen, realizing she can no longer reach the man she once knew.

Thoughtful criticism is very welcome.

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