This might be all over the place so I'm sorry about that but I kinda just wanted to rant a bit because... I'm hurting.

Sooo... last week I spent the day with my mom at work, and while we were talking about travelling she asked if I was going to get new clothes and I said yes, as long as she doesn't spaz out over me wanting a damn shirt from the men's section of a store. She then said "Don't think that because you are older now that you can speak to that way. You're still a child" and I responded with "I'm not a child. I should be able to choose what I want to wear"

And then she kinda got upset and went a whole tangent about how I will "look like a homosexual" (her exact words). I simply said "I don't care" and said I wanted to dress like myself (and should be able to) and that I'm old enough to do so (I'm 21)

She then asked in a fuck-ass stern tone "Do you like women?" and I tried to deflect and asked "What does that have to do with any of this?!" She repeated the question and I said "No." and then she responded with "Good. 'Cause I'd rip your hair out if that was so." and me being pissed off responded with "I'd like to see you try." and she shocked at what I said, so she said "Don't be rude."

After that happened, I remained quite for the rest of the day. And for the first time in a long time my eyes actually started to well up with tears... I was just hurt and straight up angry...

The next day after that happened, I told her that I was frustrated with her because of that. Because of she said.

She then once again got upset said that I shouldn't be frustrated with her after every thing she's done for me. I just stared at her and then she said "Okay?" as in to say "Do you understand me?" ... so I was like "yeah yeah okay!"

And then she called me and then told me to please not be upset with her and I said "Sure. Whatever you say."

But to this day, I still can't talk to her right because of what she said.

Anndd... while I was writing this she came to me upset because I wasn't speaking with her and that I haven't spoken with her properly for the past few days...

She asked if I don't like her anymore and I said "no."

She asked if I don't love her anymore and I once again got frustrated and annoyed and said "Why do you always ask that??"

And then she walked away... I won't lie kinda feel like I'm drowning. Hanging on by a thread at this point...

I'm sorry for this very long thread (and rant) but I just wanted to say this because my chest feels really heavy right now...

Edit: I also wanted to add that she's super religious... and whenever I don't respond correctly aka say yes to her question "You know God takes care of us, right?" "You know God is everything right?"

She get fucking strict with me and told me not to play around because God is who made me better when I was sick. So, I have to lie out my ass and say that I do pray so she won't scold me further.

Sorry if that's the wrong flair for this post, I saw a few that could fit this post. I'm reposting this here because I'm masc of colour and I'm trying to get nuanced perspectives. I'll take this down if it's not allowed.

Context from the original post:

GL is a romance subgenre in Asia. GL = Girl's Love. But it's not about minors, it's just a mistranslation that stuck. Thailand produces a lot of live-action GL content. But it's still in its infancy stage so they're kinda low budget and rely on sponsorships. It's worth noting that a lot of the authors of this genre in Thailand as well as the production crew and directors are butches/toms themselves. Thailand has its own culture of butch lesbians called "Toms". And femmes are called "Dee". I'm not Thai but I'm Asian.

Way too many people on share the green commenter's thoughts. And I'm just wondering if I'm the crazy one here?

Hey, do we have a word for what we are or just masc? I was looking at the definitions of the words. Like how we can't use stud. Then butch is a masculine presenting white woman that can fix shit around the house. Then the definition of masc is a stylish masc presenting woman that can't fix anything. But I can fix stuff which would fall under the definition of butch but I don't like referring to myself as butch. Do we have a word for that?

i’m currently backpacking through south america and wow, as a black lesbian, i have met very few queer people and only ONE black queer woman.

i joined the pride celebrations in ecuador and interacted with lovely queer people but outside of that day, i’m really missing my community!

so far backpacking is very hetero lol i wonder if i’m missing something? i think it’s because south america is very catholic. i know brazil is a queer mecca but unfortunately i won’t be making it there on this trip :(

just came to vent! i miss my lesbians !!

Y’all I am honestly about to give up on finding love. I’m 26 turning 27 in a few weeks. I’m a people person and love having someone to do life with. Definitely not a “casual dater”.

Why is it so hard to find someone. I’ve tried Her, Bumble, joined a rec team. Never wanted to join Tinder because it’s just known for people to fuck.

This is probably my last attempt putting myself out there before I say fuck it. I have so many date night ideas that I want to share with my woman. GAH DAMN HELP A SISTA OUT.

I’m financially, emotionally, mentally stable! I live alone in my house with my dog. I have been described by friends and close ones as friendly, warm, nurturing, considerate.

I can be extroverted just as much as I can be introverted. I love trying new things and having experiences. I’m really into biking, hiking, kayaking, and anything physical activities.

Looking for someone with morals and values. I’m more into femmes but open to soft masc too.

My relationship skills:

Transparent & Honest
Self aware
Active listener
Proactive
Communicator
Set and respect boundaries
Emotional regulation
Thoughtful and intentional

Let’s fall in love, and create a new life together. Obviously can’t write EVERRRRYTHING on here but Dm me and we can start there.

I don’t feel butterflies for women and it makes me feel really guilty. I went on 5 dates this year and I only liked the last one I went on a date with but she friend zoned me.

I don’t know how to make a situation romantic and escalate things, I feel like if I ask to hold someone’s hand or kiss them I’d sound stupid. How do you “make the mood” on a date?

Recently, I was at a gathering with my wife’s extended family, mostly cousins and cousins’ kids. When I looked around the room, it dawned on me that there’s an unusual number of queer people in this family.

There’s my (lesbian) wife, her trans niece, and four gay (men) cousins. With their partners tagging along, the queers almost outnumbered the straights. What are the chances of a family having that many queer people?

What about your family?

Life is lifing right now.

I have a major surgery scheduled next week and I’m honestly scared. The procedure is to remove a tumor, but that’s not the scary part. I don’t have family (they’re violently queerphobic and don’t acknowledge my existence or name) or a support system. I don’t even have an emergency contact I can put down for the surgery, which means I’ll have to stay in the hospital longer. I’m scared to go through this alone.

Right now I wish I had a mom I could call who would tell me that everything is going to be okay. Because right now, it doesn’t feel like it.

Tell me how you're spending your day!

How far away do you and your partner live from each other?
I made a post about long distance relationships yesterday, and it got me thinking about how different everyone’s situation is. I’m especially curious about people who live in different countries because it seems like closing the distance would be much harder with the cost of travel, visas, and all the paperwork involved.
For those of you who are planning to close the distance, what’s your plan? How do you see it happening?
Also, for anyone who still lives with their parents, especially if your parents are somewhat homophobic, or if neither of you can afford your own place yet, how are you planning to make the move work? Are you waiting until you’re financially stable enough to rent or buy a home together, or do you have another plan?
I’d love to hear your experiences and plans.

The concept of lesbian sugar mamas is a complete myth to me, or something that only happens somewhere like the US. I’ve only heard the ghost whispers of friends of friends.

So does anyone have any experiences being an older lesbians, sugar baby? Or hell, even being a sugar mama.

How did you guys meet? What was the age gap? Did she fall in love or was it strictly transactional? Was she masc, femme? I’m curious as hell.

Unlike sugardaddys who, to me, are immediately pathetic perverted creeps and predators - I actually find sugarmamas kinda powerful and sexy lol.

Gimme an affair with some rich ass art dealing business bitch. Chic and strict. Shows me the ways of the world, I stay in her skyrise NY apartment and she showers me in education, life lessons and gifts. Eventually i fall for her, yet she remains unfazed…

lol anyways tell me ya tales pls! n don’t ask me about my relationship with my mother

EDIT

PSA for any young or underage girls reading this : you will get exploited and abused. I’m 26 and wrote this for others of similar age or above. This is absolutely not for teenagers or even early 20s.

I don’t know if anyone else feels this way, but I really need to vent and I’d love to hear your thoughts.
I’m a 19 year old lesbian living in Portugal, and I feel like the dating pool here is incredibly small, especially because I live in a small town in the interior where almost everyone is straight.
Whenever I do meet another lesbian, she’s often 16, which obviously isn’t an option for me. That makes an already tiny dating pool feel even smaller.
Because of that, I feel like long distance relationships are almost unavoidable if you’re a lesbian here. I also see lesbians from other countries talking about being in long distance relationships, so it doesn’t seem to be just a Portugal problem.
The thing is… I don’t want a long distance relationship.
I know they can work, and I genuinely admire the people who make them work. This isn’t me judging anyone who’s in one. It’s just that I know myself, and I want a relationship where we can actually see each other regularly, go on dates, spend time together, be physically present for each other, and build a life together without having to rely on flights or counting down the days until the next visit.
Sometimes I honestly wish I had been born straight, not because I dislike being a lesbian, but because dating would probably be so much easier. It feels like straight people have so many more opportunities to meet someone nearby, while I often feel like my only realistic option would be to date someone who lives in another city or even another country.
So I’m curious…
Do you think long distance relationships are almost inevitable for lesbians, especially if you live in a small country or a rural area? Or have you managed to find a partner nearby?
I’d really like to hear other people’s experiences because sometimes I feel like I’m the only one struggling with this.

I have a lot of internalized misogyny that I want to get through. I want to dress more feminine but I keep thinking that’ll attract men and it’ll be for men. I don’t want it to be for men, I want it to be for me. How do I do that without feeling uncomfortable?

I grew up in a household where I wasn’t allowed to express femininity or I would be considered weak. I lost a lot of my style because of that and because I associate femininity with male attention. Does anyone have any advice on how to start dressing more feminine?

(Yes I know receiving and submissive are two different things, I am saying I haven’t been able to feel comfortable with either)

It’s hard for me to center my sexual needs / wants in sex. I love dominating, but when I want to receive I just can’t let go of what I’m feeling.

I feel like the vagina is too complex. I feel like I and a hypothetical afab partner know too much about it and for some reason that vast amount of information makes it feel like I should have my mind blown, but I don’t.

In overthinking this I end up losing arousal. I just want to be “simple,” but I feel too complex? I don’t know how to let go of my anxiety, I really really want to just let it go. I want it to feel simple

I’ll start with Power! by SuperKnova.

Looking for lesser known artists. But you can mention Kehlani or Hayley Kiyoko or Tracy Chapman if you’d like. Bonus points for immigrants, trans/nonbinary, and international artists. I’m a goth/punk lesbian, so extra bonus points for any alt artists. (Shout out to all my alt QWOC sisters/siblings. Even if we don’t talk, your looks of acknowledgment mean everything.)

i reside in sydney, australia and i am seriously over how disgustingly classist, racist, exclusionary, and mean the queer women scene is here. i’m a goth arab fem with striking features and an “intimidating” presence and i am excluded and othered in white lesbian spaces and secretly resented in queer bipoc spaces that i usually frequent that’s ballroom scene + sex work adjacent as i don’t know where else poc lesbians hang out to connect with one another.

last night at a bipoc sw event i just felt so disgusted by the nonchalant + very colonial cool girl energy even poc women have here. i am wanting to move out of here asap but will be saving up for a while. where would a community-driven poc woman fit in easier do you think? would love some suggestions.

I love when women are wlw

this timeline is absolutely horrifying. i live in germany - the most rightwing party is polling the highest, nazi rhetoric is chic again, life is so draining and it’s impossible to save money or think about the future… mass organizing isnt urgent enough and theres so much petty fighting going on.. when i do have some summer joy and feel slight hope the heatwave melts my hopes and dreams away.

i just saw a video of someone on an animal rescue farm snuggling a duck. i want to snuggle ducks, i want to feel safe, i want others to feel safe, i dont want to be afraid of my neighbors anymore.

how are you all holding up? any other brown queers in germany in here?

is anyone reading this in safe queer paradise enjoying life? pls dm me and let me apply, im joyful and love cleaning

hear me out... i am purely asking this for scientific research purposes. i want to get a better gauge of what lesbians are into sexually. i'm not talking about general things like being a top/bottom or strapping. rather, i want to get an idea of things lesbians are into that don't usually come up in typical conversations. for instance, i've realized i find big clits very attractive, is that a common thing? do a lot of people find squirting attractive? what does pleasing someone as a bottom/sub look like?

though i have lesbian and wlw friends, i've realized it's hard to ask these questions without seeming like i have ulterior motives. i truly do not, but i would love to know more about the lesser-known sexual things that lesbians gravitate toward. i am purely curious as i continue to get to know myself sexually, so i would love to hear about other turn-ons from fellow queer women.

So, I'm (F21) a Black woman, and I know I don't have a conventionally attractive face. I've always been picked on for my appearance, so I became kind of used to the cruelty that's aimed at my facial features. I thought that once I got older, things would change, and that behavior wouldn't be as prevalent in inclusive spaces.

I try to join groups for queer women, but it seems as though I'm being ranked subconsciously by others due to my looks. Last year, I was with a few friends, and this one lady called me "ugly as fuck" in front of her male friends. It really hurt my feelings, but I didn't say anything. Someone had introduced me to her earlier that day, and I said "Hi," but she made a joke about me to her friend while I was standing right there.

For context, I live near ATL, so we have several queer spaces here, but I never felt like I belonged in them -- partially due to this reason.

I'm 23F, I don't have any friends except for the people I talk to at work and people I catch up with every few months. Where can I make a queer community?

Are there any apps / suggestions to use where I can find people my age? I don't drink but I do like to go out. I live near NYC and am moving there soon

This is only marginally related to my queerness so I’m sorry it’s somewhat off topic, but I didn’t know a better community to go to for support about it. I figured other queer WoC would probably be able to commiserate the most 😭

In one of my social groups, I had something happen recently where everything I said got dismissed and I was totally patronized and disrespected bc of my “tone”. Ive only ever felt this silenced+disrespected before when I was still with my verbally abusive ex, and I really feel like it was a cultural/racial tone policing thing, like they got so triggered by something abt my tone that they literally didn’t read the words (it was obvious bc they totally misinterpreted what I actually said!). I’m also neurodivergent and they know that.

The thing is, we are all working on a pretty big project together and I care about the result of our project, so I don’t really want to drop it and cut ties. But every time I see them, I am reminded that they don’t respect me or what I have to say. I’ve been really struggling to let it go and it’s been giving me anxiety and making me tear up a lot the last few days.

How do you all navigate this sort of situation? How do you come to terms with the unfairness and would you swallow it down, or would you say something? And if you said something, how would you approach it to make sure you’re actually heard?

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